American reacts to Weddings in Germany are a bit strange

[@pico174]

I am german and attended a wedding in the USA once. I thought it was the strangest thing to have a rehearsal of the wedding the day before. Like practicing for a theater show or so. It all seemed more like a show to please the guests.

[@AntjeRoestenburg]

We were mostly taken aback by waiting for ages in the hot sun while the couple took pictures after church service ... just to be served a few drinks & snacks, then be sent home 🙈

[@thorstenkettler-thiel1198]

Polterabend is true. And you HAVE to go to the Standesamt (public office). Church is optional.

[@uztre6789]

But neither of those have to take place at a public office or a church. You can do it anywhere you want. Most public offices even have lists of alternative locations like palaces or at the park or something, depending on where you are

[@SiqueScarface]

Lets put it like this: Only the civil union is legally a marriage in Germany. Everything else is not recognized by law. Thus churches require a civil union certificate first before they celebrate a "Trauung", a wedding ceremony, not a "Hochzeit", a marriage.

[@prunabluepepper]

​@@SiqueScarfaceababababab! ☝️Eheähnliche Gemeinschaft

[@helloweener2007]

@@uztre6789 "You can do it anywhere you want." No, only at the places the public office has listed. They won't come to any location. My sister got married in a church. Not a "real" church like being a part of the church in Germany but the building is a real church. It is one of tre places the public office has here. When they do weddings, they will do several at one day. They won't come out for just one wedding to any place.

[@SiqueScarface]

@@prunabluepepperWhich literally means that legally, you are not married.

[@gregorgrebe]

Toilets at the Polterabend mostly happen when a friend is a plumber and needs to recycle on old toilet ;-)

[@maja-kehn9130]

Or a friend has been renovation their house and needs to get rid of the old toilet.

[@YukiTheOkami]

I think most people would not do it even than becouse guys its a used toilet ew 😅

[@eyekona]

My father bought a new toilet just for polterabend of a friend. The cheapest ones were just 5€ at that time.

[@klarasee806]

If this is the case most of my friends have plumbers as friends. Which is something I don‘t believe. Either way, on most Polterabenden I have been to at least one toilet was smashed.

[@Keksemann666]

Or when you just have to many toilets... I have like 10 for some reason... I have no idea why.

[@carstentripscha4609]

The idea of the Polterabend as I learned it, is because of the cliche that if a couple argues, they start throwing dishes. So if you break all the dishes before the wedding, you "get it out of your system", and your marriage will be happy and harmonious, with no arguments

[@annkathrinhanamond2982]

That's not true, the idea is the typical "chase away evil spirits" thing, as many traditions and circumstitions. Sorry, more boring reason, but also more plausible for the time the tradition origins ;)

[@MollyMalone1983]

I always thought it was based on the old saying that "Scherben bringen Glück"?

[@mellavonsinnen8656]

Ich mag beide Erklärungen ! ❤

[@venomous2058]

@@mellavonsinnen8656 Got a third one xD I always thought that back then you smashed your parents' old dishes (those were the only dishes you had) because you now have your own household with your new spouse and it's time for your own dishes. Symbolically, it's simply "leave your old dependency behind".

[@annkathrinhanamond2982]

@@MollyMalone1983 I'd guess the "lucky" connotation of shards might have the same origin: If you chase away bad spirits with noise, you will have a good time. I just googled it and it seems to be a possible explanation. (Another explanation is that "Scherbe" once ment "storage vessel" and full storages also meant that the owner was lucky)

[@yannick-was-taken]

There's a saying "Scherben bringen Glück" ("broken pieces bring good fortune"), doesn't matter if those pieces are of toilets or glasses!

[@juwen7908]

No, glass brings bad luck. Only porcellan works,even toilets 😉

[@m.h.6470]

Only broken mirrors are supposed to bring bad luck.

[@YukiTheOkami]

I think the fsctor why glass is not used as offten is thst u will miss pieces whe sweeping all the shit together

[@inawinchester]

​@@YukiTheOkamilove the practicality 😂❤

[@warninghamburg]

Only porcelain.

[@cobaltdrache3805]

I know, me and my wife did not follow tradition much, but I didn't realize there were so many things to follow - that we all ignored. I'm glad, we only had the "standesamtliche" wedding and a big, casual, heavy-metal-festival-like barbeque afterwards. We even had festival flyers and festival wristbands. Brütal Marriage Festival 2016 - a night to remember. Or not, depending on the amount of alcohol you had.

[@jaszman1480]

Sound like a perfect wedding to me!

[@grievousminded7517]

That's so awesome! Ours was a lil bit tamer, without flyers and wristbands but with bbq and metal =D

[@klarasee806]

This sounds wonderful! 😍

[@CabinFever52]

Sounds so much better than our wedding.

[@Jaguarkralle1]

Absolutely awesome. If my bf and I ever decide to marry, I think it will be something like this

[@SiqueScarface]

The white wedding dress was invented by Queen Victoria of England in 1840. She wanted to show her virginhood and innocence, hence she decided for the white dress.

[@steemlenn8797]

Which is a bit ironical thinking of her following enthusiasm making children, even though she hated the birth part.

[@juliaclaire42]

And it looked good on photographs.

[@ivylasangrienta6093]

Yes, and because the royals were the trendsetters back then, everyone started copying her and it stuck.

[@LythaWausW]

Have you seen the TV series Victoria? It really made visiting London personal. Check it out. I didn't know she instituted the white dress!

[@ivylasangrienta6093]

@@LythaWausW I watched the first season, but I've been a life long fan of Queen Vic so when I lived in London I loved visiting KP.

[@SoneaT]

Polterabend 😂. I work at the recycling center ( people can give us almost everything, different systems in every Bundesland) and we especially collect porcelain for those events, for our village communities around us❤. So yes it is still trending here in the south. 😂

[@jalifritz8033]

In a lot of second hand stores in the Sauerland sell boxes of porcelain for that.

[@SoneaT]

@@jalifritz8033 interesting and also a good idea 😀. Maybe those hand shops here have something similar...

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

@@jalifritz8033 Well... We take our stuff mostly from a yardsale...

[@B0RN-in-the-8ies]

Whoch south do you mean? Ba-Wü or BY? I am from Ba-Wü. And good to know to ask in a recycling Center for those things in the future 😅

[@SoneaT]

@@B0RN-in-the-8ies its Bayern, but the border to BaWü is only 8 km away 😉. Yeah you certainly can ask about porcelain there. Manchmal sammeln auch Vereine wie Landjugend, Musik oder Schuhplattler für Polterabende und diese bekommt man gegen ne Spende oder was anderes 😉.

[@kragiharp]

No, glass does not go with a Polterabend. It stands for bad fortune. Broken porcelain stands for good fortune. Most people don't have spare toilets to discard and this is not so common. Most people bring spare plates, saucers coffee cans etc., perhaps chipped ones. The more pieces the plate breaks into, the more luck for the couple.

[@veladarney]

Broken MIRRORS are bad luck. Never heard of broken GLASS, per se, being bad luck.

[@lethfuil]

A couple of years ago we decided to replace one of our toilets and just a few days after we learnt that our neighbours would get married! We're not close to them and (rightfully) weren't invited, but we were able to donate our old (cleaned!) toilet for Polterabend. Got a couple of beers and two grilled fish out of it to thank us (absolutely unnecessary but still appreciated). THAT'S a perfect wedding story.

[@Sylphenar]

During the kidnapping of the bride at my parents wedding, friends of the family took her to the local pub and just started getting smashed with the most expensive stuff they had. The longer you spend searching, the bigger your bill is going to get. So you BETTER keep a close eye on your wife.

[@dearseall]

Here it is the male witness who will have to pay. And yes, there have already been problems because the kidnapping group was so big and they exploited the bill so much that he simply could not afford to pay. In the old times only the unmarried men on the wedding party were allowed to go with the kidnapping party. Today the groom sits alone with his parents and parents in law, sometimes for hours.

[@jinx.h.]

I told my people if they dare to kidnap on our wedding I would ruin their lives forever 😂 I always thought it's the weirdest thing to be invited to a wedding and not be thankful but want us to spend even more money on them. Our wedding cost us 20k and we where just out of university 2 and 3 yrs. There was just no momey left for any more fun ideas... Also we had many activities like bow shooting and a polo tournament on the same location so it was enough to do.

[@andreapeh2270]

May I ask where in Germany you live? I was raised in the Niederrhein region in NRW and never before heard of the kidnapping thing :D...?

[@Sylphenar]

@andreapeh2270 I was born and raised near Bonn in NRW. That's also where my parents had their wedding in the 80s. Now I moved away, but my family still lives there to this day.

[@Sonja-BeateClaes]

German weddings can be so fun. We saw wood. We throw money. We cut big hearts out of sheets and climb through them. And we play terrible games that only the guests find funny but not the bride and groom. These are our traditions.

[@lethfuil]

Where I'm from we have the "Scheidlgniang" (goes by a few different names too), where the husband has to kneel on a piece of fire wood. The sharpest edge right below the knee caps. From there he has to promise his wife stuff (like that he'll do half the dishes, that he'll always mows the grass etc whatever (just reachable, day to day stuff, fair stuff). Only when shes satisfied he can stand up. Now, if she is taking too much advantage of it, not agreeing quickly enough, she'd be called out for it immediately (I've never heard of this happening, so it's rare). But the point is, that if the man breaks those promises, he has to kneel on a piece of firewood for every break, a thousand times the time he had to do it then. In the afterlife, before he can go to wherever he'll go.

[@endlessstudent3512]

Having been guest at many weddings...I can savely say I hated those stupid games. So when my time came, I forbid everyone from even thinking about starting a game :D

[@juwen7908]

Do the women in the US wear the rings on a daily basis like us. I would be soo afraid of loosing it or that it get stolen, when it has big diamonds included. And it's not practical, if it is a big one. Always in the way. So, I guess here, we germans are just practical as always. Putting a personal engraving into it is much more common.😉

[@lethfuil]

The danger of losing it, having it stolen, hurt yourself with it, all just for the inconvenience to have this on your finger... Oh and it only costs what could have been some really nice furniture, kitchen upgrade, big holidays, a pool, or just savings for bad times. Yeah...nah.

[@investigator2174]

in Germany Married: Ring at the right hand Fiance: Ring at the left hand, because the left hand is the site of the hart!

[@CabinFever52]

Ok. That's interesting. In USA, he had it a bit wrong. The engagement ring comes off the bride and is replaced with the wedding band and then the engagement ring goes on after it on the left hand.

[@mali-muff3238]

​@@CabinFever52There are engagement rings, but traditional your wedding ring is the engagement ring and both are wearing them until they change the finger for the wedding.

[@VanCrane]

We wear our rings on the left hand. It’s comfortable and practical 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

@@VanCrane Well... If you are honest, most marriages are not comfortable, nor practical...

[@elentari15]

I don't understand that logic, shouldn't the wedding ring be at the left hand, because it's closer to the heart? Why is the wedding ring further away from the heart than the fiance ring?

[@chaoskind9012]

Yes we do have the polterabend - but we mostly break old plates and such! No idea where she got the Toilet from, but i guess if youre renovating your house anyways, that would be an option...?

[@haukenot3345]

Since it's the guests who bring along the porcelaine, it usually depends on you friends and neighbours. If one of them is doing renovation work or has a background in plumbing or garbage disposal, you might get surprised with an old toilet bowl. I've only heard of it though, never witnessed it first hand.

[@dnocturn84]

Everything that is made of porcellan counts. Yes, it is supposed to be dishes, but a toilet bowl or a bathroom sink does work too (if made of porcellan, obviously). One of my friends did this at a wedding first and everybody returned the favor during his wedding. I went to a demolition site of multiple old apartment complexes with a friend and collected dozens and dozens of old toilet bowls and bathroom sinks for his wedding (we did coordinate this with the company involved beforehand). This was pretty cool. His rubble container was not enough to deal with our porcellan shards. It worked - he is still married and he is a guy that needs all the help he could get with this.

[@dutti2901]

I just went to a Polterabend about a week ago and threw a toilet bowl and an old sink. Other friends of the couple also organized a dump truck full of toilet bowls and sinks. Maybe it's a tradition from Eastern Germany. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nowadays, most couples also have their Polterabend a week in advance and not the day before the actual wedding. Where I live, you also never officially (aka. formally) "invite" people to it, but just let people know the date. Your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, etc. just show up. There were also a few traditions in the video I wasn't familiar with. Interesting watch, for sure.

[@dianeleitch]

Our neighbours daughter was getting married in 1966 in Germany. The front door was covered with wood to prevent damage. The groom and his friends backed a truck up and proceeded to smash a lot of plates, cups, and saucers against the door. When they were finished, they drove away, and the bride to be and her friends came out and started to clear the mess up. Strange, but tradition. I was an 18 year old newlywed, my husband was in the British Army, so we had just arrived in Germany. Boy, oh boy, I sure missed my mother that day.😀

[@claraf.6833]

We brought our old sink one time. We got a new one in the bathroom, so taking it to a Polterabend was a lot cheaper than calling a garbage pick-up or take it to a recycling place.

[@DerEchteMarzel]

Missing the Brautstraußwerfen and the "Wer beim Anschneiden der Torte die Hand oben hat, hat das Sagen".

[@sandralison7584]

Genau!

[@aboomination897]

"Wer beim Anschneiden der Torte die Hand oben hat, hat das Sagen". - noch nie gehört

[@DerEchteMarzel]

@@aboomination897 "…hat die Hosen auch in der Beziehung/Ehe an." Mir war das Ende nicht mehr richtig eingefallen.

[@endlessstudent3512]

I think flinging the bridal flowers backwards into the group of unmarried women is also usual in the US.

[@endlessstudent3512]

@@aboomination897 No? I know that too....Whoever has the thump on top is the boss in the marriage :D My husband and I had a little thump-fight when cutting the cake and solved it by making sure, we had our thumps right besides each other on the knife :)

[@hamborger2200]

A Polterabend in the US would be a sad event. Imagine people throwing their paper plates on the ground. 😜

[@gerdaschulze2333]

Or their plastic plates😂

[@lavieestduresansconfiture3912]

Or the paper boxes from the chinese takeaway...😂

[@RalfJosefFries]

In our region in the west of germany it is usual that groom and bride have to saw together a trunk of wood in halfes after church - using a two-man-saw or at least an big, two-man-operation suitable, bow-saw. this schould show that the pair knows to work together and that in the future they will always work as a team to overcome all obstacles. Many grooms and brides do quiet some sawing training before their wedding day to avoid humiliation at their "finest day". The friends of the groom, are traditionally responsible for organising the saw, the trunk and all necessary stuff - and to guard saw and trunk! Because other, non marrried men from the village traditionally try to steal the trunk and change it againt one that is especially hard to cut, or to even "sabotage" the saw... and the friends of the groom have to stop such trials - mostly by offering free beer or wine and some hard drinks...

[@eleanorcookson7541]

My daughter and son in law did this at their civil wedding plus a lot of other silly games!

[@ulrichwolfgang9136]

Funny how the same tradition can vary in the details sometimes within the same region. I am also from Western Germany. The sawing is one of my favourite wedding traditions, but I got to know it without the guarding. Instead the alcohol comes into play during the sawing: until the trunk is through the parents of the couple walk the crowd with bottles of liquour and refill the glasses: Invited or not, guests, neighbours or passerbys, everybody gets free drinks until the couple is done.

[@winterlinde5395]

And as always there are differences between rural and urban areas as well as between different regions 😊

[@nythala]

You have to remember that all of the mentioned parts are optional (apart from the actual marriage at the office). My husband and I actually had none of the other stuff: no church, no polterabend, no rings, no white dress, no vail... But: we are still happily married ❤

[@helloweener2007]

The witness is optional. You can appoint up to two people but you don't have to. The registration office worker is the witness anyway.

[@Herzschreiber]

yes, since 1998 it is optional, before that it was mandatory. My witness was late because she overslept and that was a big problem at that time. I had to name another person of the people of our guests, so she coud do the job instead of my Bestie, wo arrived just at the moment we left the Standesamt :)

[@Robine-n1v]

In der Schweiz darfst du ohne Trauzeugen gar nicht heiraten, wir haben es versucht, weil wir gerne alleine und ich Ruhe sein wollten. Ging leider nicht.

[@flatterkatz]

"I feel like I'm being misled. Every once in a while they tell foreigners total bullcrap" I remember many years ago, I fooled reddit into accepting a german tradition I totally made up. Went something like "old german men and young men get together for a traditional symbolic transfer of power. The young man brushed the beard of the old man while singing the traditional hymn for the occasion, 'Ich bin jung und du bist alt, Ich bin noch warm, du bist bald kalt. Während ich durchs Leben turne, wartet auf dich schon die Urne und musst du im Jenseits schmoren, fühl ich mich wie neugeboren'" it was a song from kleines arschloch :D I have no idea how many I fooled but I enjoy the thought that maybe there may still be someone out there that thinks that was real.

[@Finsternis..]

And then there was that one renegade Free Masons group that actually did this.

[@voyance4elle]

hahahaha xD

[@kilsestoffel3690]

Und in 20 Jahren kann man in einem amerikanischen "deutschen" Souvenirladen "traditional, pretzel shaped beard brush" kaufen...

[@stechuskaktus8318]

Wow that got dark.

[@CabinFever52]

I wonder how many people saw that and then subsequently did it.

[@lanamack1558]

One big difference is that in Germany the bride is not "given away" by the father into the custody of the husband to be. The bride and groom meet outside the church and walk up the aisle together.

[@brigitterohr6927]

Nope, not true.....the groom is waiting inside the church and the bride walks in

[@vanesag.9863]

But you change the woman's surname for the male one. In Spain we maintain our own surname. For me changing the surname is one form of "giving custody" at the husband.

[@Alex2007MUC]

@@brigitterohr6927 You can do it either way.... I got married in Germany and we both walked in, together.

[@sylviaschaich]

You can do this if you want to

[@butchnass]

@@vanesag.9863 You can do whatever you like in Germany. Both can keep their name, they can change to the wife's or the husband's name or they can create a new one out of both surnames.

[@PattisKarriereKarten]

Toilets are not the standard thing on Polterabend to throw but mainly plates and cups 😂

[@MartinHeilmann]

During the last years the American way of engagement tradition swaps over to Germany (Buying an absurd expensive ring with a fat stone of questionabke beauty, kneeling down and so on and on.). Traditionally there is no engagement ring. After the bride's YES the wedding rings are chosen together and are worn on the left hand to signal engagement. At the wedding the ring just changes hand. Also asking the bride's dad for allowance or the dad (or any replacement guy) leading the bride through the church is a nogo. The couple usually enters the church together. The anglo-american tradition of leading the bride is seen like a bit of handing over property. Also here, TV an Cinema did their thing and there are couples who think that has to be done.

[@LiftandCoa]

Correction: Engagement rings ARE indeed traditional in Germany. The reason why it wasnt in the past 100 years/20th century and why the ring wasnt exchanged for a new one but just swapped hand should be pretty obvious. The first well know case of an engagement ring (including diamond) being gifted in Europe - particularly its german speaking parts - as that of Maximillian I. of Habsburg and Maria of Burgund in 1477. The thing that has actually changed is going from Iron to Gold. Not to gift an "additional" ring or that there are jewels on it.

[@eleanorcookson7541]

I recognise op's view about engagement rings. I lived in Germany for over 17 years and when looking in jewell.ry shop windows never saw engagement rings like you would see in UK for example. Most of the rings were like those shown in the video, a his n hers matching wedding rings. Engaged = worn on the left hand, married= worn on the right.

[@nriamond8010]

But I think that in Germany, there is not this big pressure to have a really expensive ring that must be worth 2 or 3 months of the man's income. Mine did cost about 70 € (and looked more like a silver wedding ring, I don't like those big diamonds).

[@apieper3863]

Not right at all. My grandparents married that way and their grandparents also. And I'm pretty sure that they knew nothing about any american tradition.

[@MollyMalone1983]

Um, fathers giving away their daughters is quite normal. I've just witnessed it again last month. My own wedding was just a courthouse wedding and my dad passed away 12 years ago so a close male friend and father figure led me from the car to the entrance where my husband was waiting. That's not unusual at least in south/west Germany.

[@quark1010_]

oh believe me we complain about the sound of cars honking for weddings😂

[@voyance4elle]

really? who does that? xD

[@friedrichkarle1224]

​@@voyance4elle me, i do that. i hate the honkers!

[@thorstent2542]

Sometimes the police want to stop it, and a riot starts.

[@christinebeer4110]

@@voyance4elle Everybody honks - you know a wedding party is coming from kilometers away... at least in Switzerland and Austria we do that...

[@propelakarlson7260]

I think the honking and ribbon on car are relatively new. I don't think they had that, like, in the 60s

[@blondkatze3547]

At many weddings in Germany there is a warm menu in the evening, preceded by wedding soup, a main course and then a dessert. Afterwards the party starts with a lots of music and dancing. Of course there German beer is a must.😅🍺🍷🍾 At midnight there is the wedding cake and usually a cold buffet.👩‍❤‍👨

[@nriamond8010]

As far as I know, cake at midnight is a quite new thing and I think it's a bad idea: At that time, some people have already left the reception and others don't want cake anymore at that time. Many people I know (including me and my sister) had their wedding cake in the afternoon and I think that makes much more sense :)

[@sandraankenbrand]

​@nriamond8010 we got married at 4pm... Reception at 6pm... 7:30 first course... 8pm some speeches... the buffet... dancing... wedding cake at midnight

[@DramaQueenMalena]

The white wedding dress: Queen Victoria of England started the tradition in 1840.

[@franhunne8929]

She was born from a German father (who also happened to be King of England) and a German mother. So, she was quite German.

[@stpaley]

@@franhunne8929 as well as the current UK monarch

[@gustavmeyrink_2.0]

@@franhunne8929 Up until Diana there was only 1 British person in the Royal family for 6 generations and that was Elizabeth II's mother. Everybody else was German including Elizabeth's husband Philip.

[@roerd]

Yeah, it spread among the aristocracy throughout the 19th century, and then among common people in the early 20th century.

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

@@franhunne8929 Married to a German, too...

[@mats7492]

Church weddings are optional and you have to be a member of the church to have one.. so about 40% of the population who are not a member of the church cant marry in a church anyway.. This applies to christians only of course.. other religions have their own traditions.. but as a general rule.. ONLY the weddings you take at the official governmant office are legally recognized.. and yes, there are tons of wedding venues

[@a_lethe_ion]

05:46 dude, it's your marriage too. Like both need to want this, so including the groom seems to be like obvious?? Why would you not include 50% of the married couple???

[@a_lethe_ion]

Like you matry the person you love, you should know what flowers your partner likes, you talk with them. Ask them what type of flowers they like and bring it occasionally bc as sign of love

[@Al69BfR]

2:50 Back in my day it was mostly just old plates, mugs and glas that was destroyed most of the time in front of the garage of the newly weds. But there was also always that one guy who tooks the fun part much too far. That’s when the toilet came into play. But now there is often a dedicated party on Polterabend and not just a keg full of beer and some snacks for neighbors and friends who came by to wish good luck to the couple. Now there are also often so called „Polterhochzeiten“ especially when the couple is only doing a legal marriage at the Standesamt. Those celebrations are often with more people than normal but also less formal than normal.

[@k.schmidt2740]

At the Polterabend, porcelain dishes get smashed, not "toilets" (OK, if your friend is a plumber, maybe, but otherwise not)! People save up old mismatched plates, cups etc. for this purpose or buy some from a flea market. Glass is bad luck and is not included in the pile of "Scherben".

[@klamin_original]

From someone who’s 30yo: Many weddings don’t even incorporate big ceremonies anymore. It’s just the civil office wedding, then some dinner for a selected small group of guests and that’s it.

[@gwennydoline2911]

Yes, I witnessed that too over the last years. Weddings are getting smaller and it is just for the closest family and friends. People want to invest in the honey moon or their first home, not in a single evening.

[@stuborn-complaining-german]

Basic german wedding: Two people go to the Standesamt (public office), sign their mariage documents and have it officialized by the officer. Most commonly you each bring a witness and exchange rings. Whatever else you do depends solely on what stupid wedding TV / internet shows you (or most often the bride and her friends...) choose to watch before...

[@brittakriep2938]

Born 1965, first wedding i visited in early 1970s, was much simpler than today. Much cheaper ( i am swabian) and without any unnecessary modern nonsens.

[@Nordlicht05]

Personally I have nothing to do with any church so we don't went there.

[@PotsdamSenior]

There are wedding venues outside the registry (Standesamt), but to be legal, it must be held by a state official. Since church weddings don't count at all other than for the church itsself, you can have one anytime.

[@christiansonnenberg6306]

3:40 I had my wedding at a venue (10 year anniversary coming up, karma-farm). I live in Austria and when you go to register a date for your weeding at your municipal Standesamt (registry office) you can choose if you want to be wed at the offices (which mostly can be done inside the same day if you arrive there early enough) or if you want to do it somewhere else. Performing the ceremony / legal act at Standesamt directly only costs a few bucks, i think it was around 30€ to 50€. Booking a registrar to come to your venue and perform the act there did cost north of 500€ (including taxes) back then in 2014.

[@nriamond8010]

Do you have completely free choice of the place in Austria? Because in Germany, we have other places, too, but you can only choose from a few certain locations, not just anywhere you want.

[@ingmargreil]

@@nriamond8010 Details are to be negotiated with the clerk officiating, but yes, for a fee you can choose pretty much any venue, within reason. The important part (in the eyes of the law) is only that the act is performed by the official; location does not matter. This is a voluntary service and usually incurs an additional fee of about 300 € (weekdays including Saturday outside of normal office hours) to 350 € (Sundays and public holidays). Details and availability may vary.

[@christiansonnenberg6306]

@@nriamond8010 I think it depends on the municipality. Here in Vienna you have a list of pre-approved locations (which was very extensive when my wife and I got married) but ultimately it is up to the registrar if your desired custom location can be used or not. We had two meetings with our registrar before the wedding where we could discuss those topics with them. Their reasoning behind the pre-approved locations was that they could be sure that those locations were big enough a) to host the ceremony and state-rooms for preparations beforehand, b) to provide a suitable backuplocation on-site in case something went wrong (e.g. event hall if a thunderstorm threatened your open-air ceremony) and c) be reasonably quiet in order for those attending not to need to shout as far as I know you could hold your weeding at your own house if you had the facilities mentioned above.

[@snorkyfin1879]

It's so weird. I'm from Bonn and I recognize these stores and people and locations because they are basically in my neighborhood

[@LemmyD_from_Germany]

2:09 and 2:15 : When Ryan said 'Mhmm...' this makes me laughing LOUD out about the relationship between smashed toilets and good luck... 😂🤣. Greetings from northern Germany ♥️🇩🇪

[@MufuLP]

in Germany we too have two rings, engagement ring and wedding ring. They only talked about the weddign ring. Some couples in germany also renew their vows with a second small wedding 10-40 years after the original wedding.

[@Landra372]

A few years ago the couples only have their wedding bands for engagement. When you are engaged it was on the left hand and during the wedding it moved to the right hand. men wear the engagement ring too.

[@helgaioannidis9365]

My mother and grandmothers didn't have an extra engagement ring. Also there was no kneeling down of the men. The men would ask, when the women said yes they'd go together to buy rings and both wear them on their left hand til the wedding where they'd switch to the right hand. My mother got earrings for the engagement from my father.

[@Drachselhuberjoschi_1]

😂😂😂lol,Ryan after making the video,screwing around the toilet,lifting and try to smash it,his wife:WHAAAAAAAT ARE YOU DOING? I 'm celebrating our Wedding😜😜😜

[@annanigra2746]

I think one of the biggest differences between german and american weddings is: In Germany the couple is NOT leaving the party to go to honeymoon at one point. They spend their time to stay with family and friends on the party and usually leave when everybody else is gone. So maybe at 6am? 😂 I think the way american couples leave the party is so unkind. Poor guests… I mean: What do they do when the most important people are gone???

[@nriamond8010]

It seems that a few decades ago, the couples in Germany DID leave the party early. I've read some old wedding advice books or so from that time and there it was definitely said that after a short time (maybe only 2 hours), the couple leaves for honeymoon. No one here does this today.

[@jcbree]

Actually I am German and I imagine it horrible not to be able to leave your wedding before the last guest leaves. I mean, I don't want to hate my wedding in the end because I'm tired after a long day and wanting to have a bit of romantic time together with my husband and some guests just want to dance till sunrise. I'm going to leave my wedding whenever I wish, telling everybody to stay as long as they wish and enjoy the rest of the party without me. I really believe that is much less stressful and you actually get the chance to have a bit of the wedding night together. But everybody can of course do as they wish 😊

[@sandraankenbrand]

It was custom still in the 70s to leave the party even before dinner to head to the "Honeymoon"...

[@TheHeinklein]

"What do they do when the most important people are gone?" Have fun, finally?

[@B0RN-in-the-8ies]

You can only leave the own Party, if it is in a Restaurant or privat garage or so. For example we rent a room from our church. (We didn't marry in the church, only rent a room to make party) So we had to clean it up before leave. At 4 o'clock in the morning all guests were gone and I and my husband tidied up everything. The next day was a children's church service. And we hadn't any chance to book an other room. Because of the "Vatertag".

[@SouthernBelle888]

In Germany and Austria you are required to go to the City Hall to the Registry Office and get married there, otherwise the marriage isn't legal, a lot of people still decide to have a church wedding which doesn't count and isn't legal just to have a Church wedding, it's just something formal you do, for the family, and beautiful wedding pics or if you are christian, but it doesn't count.

[@haukenot3345]

Your wording is a bit misleading. A church wedding doesn't have legal consequences, but it's obviously legal to have a church wedding. Most churches will require you to get legally married before getting married in church though, and in terms of the churches' own laws, getting married in church without a valid marriage license may indeed be illegal. As to what does and doesn't "count": that is a matter of personal conviction. Back in the 50s and 60s, a lot of couples had to get legally married to apply for shared apartments. Legal marriage often was a very prosaic thing for them, basically signing a piece of paper in some stuffy office, often even without special wedding garments. As a result, many older couples consider the day of their church wedding as their main wedding anniversary. Nowadays, as the number of church weddings is on decline, many public officers are upping their game, attending special training to hold celebratory speeches, and many municipalities are building or designating more representative wedding bureaus, either at the public office itself or in special locations. And this in turn has elevated the image of legal marriage from mere formality to festive event in its own right.

[@nriamond8010]

@@haukenot3345 But then, in the protestant church, you can't get married without being legally married first.

[@peter_althoff]

In Germany church weddings were down to 18% in 2018, that's not "a lot of people"

[@haukenot3345]

@@nriamond8010 That's what I wrote. Except that, to my knowledge, that is not a rule unique to Protestant churches. The Catholic church has the same principle, except for very specific exceptions that generally require the approval of a bishop.

[@ingmargreil]

@@nriamond8010 Same for Catholics, although exceptions can be made.

[@Arch_Angelus]

Some people believe that the change of hands in Germany has something to do with the Reformation: Protestants are said to have deliberately worn their wedding rings on the ring finger of their right hand as a symbol of separation from Catholicism. On the other hand, the left hand was already considered indelicate in Catholicism, and our very Catholic Polish neighbors also wear their wedding rings on the right. Another theory therefore invokes the ancient Germanic tribes. They, in turn, are said to have believed that their love vein was on the right side of their body. But perhaps the German language also gives us a clue: rechts engl right “rechtens”, “rechtschaffen”, “aufrichtig” or “Gerechtigkeit” engl. righteous", ‘upright’, ‘honest’ or ”justice versus links engl. left “link” or “gelinkt” engl. “link” or “linked”. The right hand is the good, the right hand; the hand we shake in greeting. This cultural idea may also have played a role. However, there is no precise, verifiable explanation for the choice of the right hand. In Germany and Austria, as well as in Poland, Bulgaria, Norway and Russia, the wedding ring is traditionally worn on the ring finger of the right hand. However, this custom is not universal and there are also couples who wear the wedding ring on their left hand.

[@CotardSyndrom]

She forgot to mention that at the Polterabend all the broken porcelain has to be cleaned up by the couple alone until midnight to bring luck. Otherwise the marriage starts off with bad luck, if they fail to work together. So sometimes if someone really wants to test the couple, they will unload a whole truckload of toilets. That's seen as funny, but pretty mean though.

[@Nico6th]

It comes down to the separation of church and state. A marriage is a legal contract, the benefits of which are something the lawmaker decides (lower taxes, inheritance rights, etc). Therefore marriages HAVE to be registered officially by the state and the church does not get a say in that. Basically, you can have a religious party, whether that's a Catholic, Islamic, or Wiccan ceremony doesn't matter, if you want it to be a legally binding marriage you still have to "make it official". It's also to prevent child marriage, marriages between close relatives, etc.

[@nixda440]

Yes everthing what is out of Porzelan xD But mostly plates and Cubs. We also have two rings. We wear an engagement ring on the left ring finger. And when we get married, the wedding ring will be on the right. And the rings also have diamonds (usually the wedding ring). But that's individual for each one, the main thing is that it's somehow unique. And the clothes aren't always white either. And they all look individual. So the length is often not down to the ground. I didn't know that the man would choose the bouquet of flowers either. XD is also individual here. But we also traditionally have 4 things that the bride gets. A borrowed piece of clothing or jewelry or something that the bride wears to the wedding, something blue, something new and something old.

[@IshtarDenaris]

I feel like some typical wedding stuff was missing. Like throwing the bouquet, the kids that throw petals in front of the bride, midnight snacks at the party (like Currywurst), the first dance and the stupid games at the party. And I still know the tradition that the engagement has to be one year and one day ahead of the wedding itself (but that's not very common).

[@Roberternst72]

That „A year and a day“ is probably linked to a legal construct from medieval times, when peasants / serfs who had successfully fled from their lord to a Free City were officially recognized as no longer being the property of the lord after living in the City for „Jahr und Tag“. („Stadtluft macht frei“, „Breathing the City‘s air liberates you“)

[@thapedrul7884]

I think the bouquet throwing is imported from the US via Hollywood. There was no such custom 40 years ago.

[@moppels.6589]

In Germany there is traditionally no separate engagement ring. The later wedding ring is also the engagement ring. Of course you can do it differently, but that is not the norm. The astronomical prices that are spent on engagement rings in the USA are also not the norm here. Wedding rings are simple rings made of white gold, yellow gold or rose gold, occasionally also made of platinum. Cain silver, and a maximum of one or more small, inserted brilliants or diamonds.

[@thapedrul7884]

You wear the ring on your left hand, if you're engaged, and on your right, when your married. At least, that was 30 - 40 years ago, when I was young.

[@maja-kehn9130]

I think wearing white for your wedding dress started with Queen Victoria, who wore a white dress at her wedding to prince Albert. Before that wedding dresses could have any colour, the bride usually wore her best dress.

[@ClaudiaErnst]

Not so long ago (around 50 years) in some rural/ religious areas it was "tradition" (more punishment) a remarried bride or a woman who was no virgin anymore had to wear a black dress. 🤮

[@voyance4elle]

true :)

[@red.aries1444]

@@ClaudiaErnst That was no real punishment. It was just more practical. Especially in rural areas most people couldn't afford to buy a white dress just for one day in their life. And to marry in just any other color as black, white or a traditional costume wasn't appropriate. So the brides normally wear a black dress with a white veil. This had nothing to do with virginity. This tradition changed in the 30th and was completely skipped after WWII.

[@ClaudiaErnst]

@@red.aries1444 It's okay if you know your facts but I know for sure that it was of course a punishment to wear a black wedding(!) dress in the 1970/80s in Germany. Show to the whole village/church that you're a shameful woman.

[@andreamuller9009]

To your question: I've actually rarely heard of married couples celebrating their weddings again, but almost every year that they stay together has a special meaning and wedding anniversary. And it's a good idea to give each other something made from the material after which this special wedding year is named.... This often varies depending on the region, which is why there are sometimes several names for the respective wedding day. So, here we go: Green (because of the myrtle) or White wedding: the day of the wedding ceremony 1 year: paper wedding 2 years: Cotton Wedding 3 years: leather, Fruit or Wheat Wedding 4 years: silk, Amber-, Linen or Wax wedding 5 years: wooden wedding 6 years: Sugar wedding (A good partnership makes life sweet ☺). 6 ½ years: tin wedding. 7 years: copper wedding 8 years: bronze, Sheet-, Nickel or Salt wedding 9 years: ceramics, Glass-, water or Willow Wedding 10 years: the rose wedding (larger celebration with relatives and friends) 11 years: steel, Carnival (I have no idea what that means) - or Coral wedding 12 years: linen, Earth-, Nickel -, or Silk wedding 12 ½ years: parsley, Copper-, sheet metal or Nickel wedding 13 years: lace, Lily of the valley or Salt wedding 14 years: ivory, agate or Blue wedding 15 years: glass, Crystal or Bottle wedding 20 years: porcelain, Copper-, Chrysanthemum or Wedding of thorns at here big fat celebraitions like the white weddingday : 25 years: Silver Wedding 30 years: pearl wedding 35 years: linen wedding 37 ½ years: aluminum wedding 40 years: Ruby, Garnet or Emerald wedding (The wedding ring gets a ruby ​​or emerald) 50 years: Golden Wedding (some couples exchange new rings) 60 years: Diamond Wedding 65 years: Iron Wedding 67 ½ years: Stone wedding 70 years: mercy or Platinum wedding 72 ½ years: jewel wedding 75 years: Crown Jewels or Radium wedding (I would rather not give that as a gift because of the radioactivity... well... that probably doesn't matter at this age😂)

[@sandralison7584]

Germany has currently a couple of centarians having thier "oak wedding" of 80 years! Its really something special. The wife is 98 years old and the groom is 102 years old! They married still druing the war. Google it, its really awesome!

[@sandralison7584]

Germany has currently a couple of centarians having thier "oak wedding" of 80 years! Its really something special. The wife is 98 years old and the groom is 102 years old! They married still druing the war. Google it, its really awesome!

[@sandralison7584]

Germany has currently a couple of centarians having thier "oak wedding" of 80 years! Its really something special. The wife is 98 years old and the groom is 102 years old! Google it, its really awesome!

[@sandralison7584]

Germany has currently a couple of centarians having thier "oak wedding" of 80 years! Its really something special. The wife is 98 years old and the groom is 102 years old! Google it, its really awesome!.

[@sandralison7584]

Germany has currently a couple of centarians having thier "oak wedding" of 80 years! Its really something special. The wife is 98 years old and the groom is 102 years old! Google it, its really awesome!

[@veladarney]

Diamond industry been really good at scamming people into thinking that if you don't get your fiancée one huge-ass rock of a diamond that means you don't love her ...

[@diarmuidkuhle8181]

It's a good way of sorting out potential marriage candidates. If she's materialistic enough that the size of the ring and the amount of expense laid out for the reception is a bigger deal to her than the fact she's getting married to you, abort the mission.

[@B0RN-in-the-8ies]

Not with me😅 I have no any diamond or so in my ring. Only Rose Gold an platin 😊

[@ninchiru9225]

Do americans have the "new, old, blue and borrowed" tradition? I'm Gernan and my mother told me that at the wedding it brings luck when the bride wears something new, something old, something blue and something borrowed. My mother wore her new wedding dress, old ear rings she inherited, a blue flower in her hair and she borrowed something from a friend (I don't remember what it was, tho.

[@pahhw1533]

FUN STORY OF MY PARENTS WEDDING nov 29 court wedding nov 30 church wedding dec 1 my father birthday and in 14 years of being married my father managed to forget the weddingday 10 times

[@Trilogy_2022]

The "Polterabend" can be a very expensive thing because it's not as "privet" as you think where you invite people who you want to be there. No it's normally a thing where everybody can came by to make party with you. Depending on the size of the vilage where you live it could be that you have aroud 300 to 500 people sitting at your home. All has to be paid by bride and groom. Of course it could be that you will get some money from people or the spend something to drink...

[@JaneSmith-rx6kx]

And they to be wed couples sweep the shards together,proving they are a good Team. They also have to guard the brooms and what they have swept Up ,so they don't get them traded for ones with very short handles or almost No bristles left. If the guests get to what they have swept Up,they will dump IT Out,and they couple hast to sweep it again....

[@kazemitsuki3325]

There are couples who get two rings engagement ring and wedding ring, but it's also common to wear the ring on the left hand before and then switch it to the right hand, after the ceremony

[@tim8067]

This is for the countryside, not in big cities: On the day of the official wedding ceremony at the town hall (mostly on a thursday or friday) the party at that very same night is very casual. Means it is in the countryside very often. Open air at a fireplace or small sports area you rent. With BBQ, loud music. Everyone can come. No invitations, open ending - so a lot of friends and neighbours or members from the same club are coming. This is called "Polterabend". Polter as in "Poltergeist" which means "making rumbling noise". And how do you make roubling noise? Right - with throwing your dishes on the floor in front of the couples main door. It's a custom that might bring luck. Or is it only done to lure them out so the party can finally start? Who knows... :-) The thing about toilets is an escalation level :-). The very next day instead is very formal. Wedding in the church begins at about two a clock in the afternoon. Everyone is shitfaced from sitting at the fireplace until 6am and whishes to let the church pass to get drinks again. In that formal party usually only invited guests take part. You have suits and dresses and very often it is very planned by a wedding planner.

[@nriamond8010]

The only Polterabend I ever saw was in a big city (Hamburg) 😄 but in general, it seems to be not very popular any more.

[@brigitteoesterle662]

No wedding planner! You do this by yourself. Again an American tradition we learnt from Hollywood.

[@juwen7908]

Breaking glass brings bad luck. But breaking porcellan brings good luck. So, bigger porcellan stuff just brings more luck? No, it's meant as a joke. 😂 You even can say "I'm visiting the porcellan department" if you want to say "I go to the bathroom" in a funny way here 😉

[@ShoreVietam]

A variation of that is "I'm visiting the porcelain exhibition.", which I find quite funny. xD

[@brigitteoesterle662]

Breaking mirrors brings "bad sex life" for the next 7 years.

[@hurtigheinz3790]

I remember being on a Polterabend as a child, when friends of my parents married. There were a lot of children having fun smashing some porcelain, so naturally the unavoidable happens and kids get cuts from stepping on or handling broken pieces. At one point we were 3 bleeding children standing at the improvised first aid station. It was great! At this wedding I even randomly found an unbroken pot - the exact one my parents missed in their 6 piece porcelain set at home.

[@nettcologne9186]

But those were just the basics, there's a lot more, walking through a heart together, throwing rice, carrying the bride over the doorstep... and there's also an engagement ring.

[@gaedingar9791]

I would say, about 50% of people do proposals and engagement rings, the other half is more informal. I even know several couples that don't have wedding rings. I think the engagement rings and proposals got more in the last decade or so, because we all watch American movies and popculture and people want a movie like wedding...

[@christinehorsley]

@@gaedingar9791 I’ve been married for 46 years. We married only at the „Standesamt“ (Registry office) and we do not have wedding rings. When registering for the marriage („Aufgebot“) we were asked if we wanted a ceremony with or without rings. We were also asked which last name(s) should be our „married name“ („Ehename“), his last name, my last name, double-name (that was possible in 1978) or would we each keep our own last name. Reasons for no rings: I’m German and insisted a wedding ring must be worn on the right hand, hubby is US American and insisted wedding ring must be worn on the left hand. We didn’t have the money for good rings. In the decades which followed we considered every once in a while if we should get rings … but either we couldn’t find any we both liked or it was impractical for him to wear any rings, because working as a carpenter he risked getting caught on a nail or such and ripping his finger off … who needs that. So to this date, I have plenty of pretty rings, even some expensive ones, but no wedding rings. My hubby has 1 turquoise ring which he bought during a vacation to the USA in 2018, he only wears it on special occasions. My parents on the other hand always had and wore wedding rings. They got married at the Standesamt (Registry office) in 1954. 25 years later they celebrated their silver wedding anniversary in the church they meantime had joined, and it was like a short wedding ceremony officiated by a priest, with a party afterwards for family and friends. And they bought themselves a new set of wedding rings. Now they’re deceased and both sets of rings are in my possession, but I don’t wear them. I think especially the diamond engagement rings is something that swapped over to us from the USA, and maybe UK, as shown in the movies …

[@tridder]

When either of the to-be-wed is a Navy soldier you can have an addtional task of cutting the rope. The rope is usually prepared by deckman of the ship he/she serves on. It is a piece of the mooring rope with added obstacles such as a pipe or screw added to it to make the task of cutting harder. The best man/woman usually orders these and tells the decksman how tough the challenge is supposed to be.

[@Lylantares]

yep, but not the american engagement ring madness where you'd have to buy a stone way too big to be considererd beautiful.

[@tmaciol]

Yup. Polterabend is a thing here. Also the toilet smashing since they’re made out of porcelain. But usually it’s mostly old china that is put to good use (for good luck). But no glass !

[@andreaerdfalvi-mckenzie6775]

Ryan, the Polterabend (where they break porcelain) is true! I've participated in a few when friends got married, and it was always fun.

[@schwammi]

It's not just specifically porcelain shards that are thought to bring luck in Germany but shards in general, we have an old saying that goes "Scherben bringen Glück" (shards bring luck) which is most often used to make someone feel better (or also tease them) after breaking something.

[@SouthernBelle888]

Some people in Germany also renew their wedding vows, it all depends on personal preferences though.

[@a_lethe_ion]

8:17 yup my parents did that. Its like a funny little thing lol

[@yannick-was-taken]

The bride kidnapping thing is shown on the Office, too

[@annkathrinhanamond2982]

At Polterabend, people throw old porcellain (mostly dishes - toilets are more a thing if friends think they are oh-so-funny ...) on the ground and the couple has to sweep the shards together. This tradition was done to chase evil spirits away from the wedding (I guess the spirits should flee from the loud noises - "poltern" means "making loud noise"), and traditionally it is done the night before the wedding. Today, it is mostly planned one week or longer before the wedding and just a fun tradition where friends mock the couple by bringing very much porcellain (or toilets). Registry wedding second: The state would not care, but the protestant church insists on "You have to be married officially first" (because the protestant wedding is just the blessing of an existing marriage), the catholic church _could_ do a wedding without, but mostly they insist on "registry wedding first" for reasons I don't know :D Weddings in a wedding venue are complicated in Germany. The registry wedding is only allowed in either a room of that office or an "Außenstelle", a place the registry office owns. You cannot do that anywhere. Most churches only allow weddings in sactified places. In most German weddings, the ceremony is at one location, then everybody goes or drives to the celebration to a second location. Both in the same place is quite rare. The only way for a wedding in a wedding venue in Germany is a "Freie Trauung", a "free wedding" - a private ceremony without any official meaning. Luckily, I think not many couples here do the "the groom has to get the bouquet" tradition anymore - because you are totally right: It is stupid, the day is stressful enough for the groom and it does not matter who gets the bouquet. It is pre-ordered anyway ... I don't think ANY groom in Germany chooses the flowers (if he don't happen to be a florist ;) ). That is NOT a thing anymore. The (diamond) engagement ring is also a thing in Germany, but I think the diamont is not such a big thing there as in the US - it CAN have diamonds, but it does not need them. Also, some wedding rings have (mostly small!) diamonds, some don't. Oh, and the engagement ring is worn left, the wedding ring right, but some people wear their rings just where they like. Not such a big thing here ... some people also wear them hanging on a necklace after the wedding because they can't wear rings at work for safety reasons.

[@supernova19805]

We decorate the bridal party's car with flowers also, which are generally placed on the hood of the car. Usually old dishes or glasses are used for Polterabend. I never heard of toilets being used but hey, whatever floats your boat. At my brother's wedding, they strung up a clothes line outside the courthouse , and the groom and bride had to pin up baby clothes. It's supposed to bring luck for any future family expansion. If you're engaged in Germany, you wear the band/ring on the left hand, then when you get married, you switch it over to the right hand.

[@kathilisi3019]

You CAN get married in church before having the legal civil wedding service. I know someone who did that so as not to lose her orphan's pension, which she was entitled to until a certain date (I think her 25th birthday) but getting married before that date would have cut it short. She had a church wedding half a year before and the civil ceremony on her birthday. Also, in some areas it's customary to have the civil service and the church service on the same day or the same weekend. Venue weddings are a thing as well, but they're either in addition to a small courthouse wedding or you can get a civil registrar to officiate your ceremony at your wedding venue.

[@RickTheClipper]

Ryan, remember: Two rings are a good start for a chain

[@isforme2789]

We also have weddings at venues with an registrar usually the courthouse offers some places for exzra money like a nearby castle

[@Danny30011980]

Yup that is what happens on the Polterabend. Attended a friend's wedding and some guest brought a sink to most likely get rid of and they smashed that on the pavement too. And then the couple have to sweep the mess up, also symbolically of having to share all the household related tasks together when married. And the getting married twice is pretty normal, first in the registry office and then in church if they want to do. If not religious like my friends back then you can have some registry official perform the wedding in some weeding location like a castle chapel. Also optional on what you wear on the registry part, can be casual, can be dressy, can be a wedding gown. And the white wedding dress was basically an idea by queen Victoria, before it was not common to wear white, one would just wear their best dress for it. The wedding band on the left was an old tradition as people back in the day believed the left hand and fingers had a direct vein connection to the heart. Not sure why Germans did it the other way round tho'. IN Germany viws renewal isn;t so much of a thing, however people may celebrate silver or golden wedding anniversaries to mark the occasion

[@jamiefraser0]

The engagement ring you wear on the left hand. Often it has a stone but that's not required. When you're married the wedding ring goes on the right hand. Sometimes women wear both rings right after the wedding, sometimes they let them build together (2=1) but sometimes they leave it be, engagement left and wedding right. The right side means, that the woman is now legally part of the man's family. Because right (rechts) has a double meaning, it means right side or legal (Recht).

[@thomasstroh-uu2mj]

I am sure there are a ton of videos showing "Polterabend" There are a few that made it to the local news from time to time 😁

[@iriswaldenburger2315]

Yeah I remember my uncle bringing an old toilet to the Polterabend of his best friend in 1995. It was hilarious

[@Hamsterdam91]

1. Shards bring luck because back in time when the phrase originated "Scherben" (shards) was a word used for pots. So it originaly ment that having a lot of intact pots, filled usualy with preserved food, was lucky because you would not have to be hungy in the near future. What makes much more sense. But because of how the language changed over time the phrase turned to the opposit. 2. I was at a wedding last years that was just held at a restaurant with a beergarden instead of a church. Two weeks after the legal marriage 3. My mom was "kidnapped" at her wedding and she said it was annoying and she was pissed because the wedding was already stressfull and then they delay everything like that. It luckily did not take too long

[@KimPinelli]

The wedding in a venue is usually Combined with he church wedding if a church wedding is held or with the civil ceremony if you don’t want the church wedding. You go through either of the ceremonies and then go to the wedding venue for the reception.

[@SophiaKilkis]

i dont know about Germany but in Greece we wear the engagment rings in the left hand ( its a tradition from the ancient times, i think i read somewhere it comes from Egypt symbolizing the ring connecting to the vein of the heart or something like that) but at the wedding we swich the rings to right hand because its the hand we use to do the cross when we pray.. many women like me we have wedding ring in right hand and the ring ( they one we gotten proposed , if there is one) on the left

[@jonashotger4456]

The white wedding dress goes back to Queen Victoria of England. Prior, brides used to just wear their best/a new, fancy dress, but after pictures of the royal wedding spread, brides took a liking to it.

[@carolinlinden7795]

White wedding dresses go back to Queen Victoria, who wore a white dress for her wedding. Thanks to the then new medium of photography, many people got to see this and adopted this fashion, especially as the white dress looks particularly good in black and white photos.

[@MeMiFiLi]

My husband almost forgot the bouquet (I had a blue dress for my wedding - he wanted blue flowers for me). The only blue flowers the flowerstore had (February in Germany) were blue dyed chrysanthemums. They lost their color during the party, so we had some kind of funeral bouquet. We happily threw it in the trash after the party 😂

[@AntjeRoestenburg]

🤣🤣🤣 We smash old porcelain in front of the couple's house & since toilets are made of porselain, occasionally an old one gets smashed 🙈

[@annaluciaschmitz]

In Germany 🇩🇪, we have an engagement ring on the left hand on the ring finger (can be diamond ring or not, depends, mostly it will be not that extravagant) and after the wedding the wedding band (fairly simple ring, gold ring) will be on the right hand on the ring finger. The Polterabend is true, but I’ve mostly seen people throwing porcelain plates.

[@normanroscher7545]

Our wedding rings are very simple, too. My wife's has a little .2 ct diamond embedded in it, smoothly aligned with the surface, so it does not stand out and cannot get caught on something in everyday activities. Mine is identical to hers, but without the diamond. Our rings are not made of gold though. They are rather designed to be heavy duty, since we potentially wear them 24/7, whatever we do. I have to remove it for work though, for hygienic reasons. I work at a hospital. In order for them to be scratch resistant we chose them to be made of tungsten carbide, with a laser engraving of our names and the date of our wedding inside.

[@anyathepanther7977]

Polterabend, you bring Goods made of ceramic, or Porzellan to break. Usually Dish wear, the Toilet is rare.

[@endlessstudent3512]

a thing my husband did that I loved him even more for: when he wanted to buy an engagement ring, the salesperson showed him the usual solitaires. He asked: where is MY engagement ring? Salesperson: only the woman wears an engagement ring to show she is engaged. Husband: Why? I am also getting married and want to show i am marrying. So he bought two so called "friendship rings", that are a like wedding rings, but a bit thinner, one with a stone for me and one without for himself. He wore his ring the second I said yes and switched it to the wedding band later. I so much loved him doing that!

[@sabrinas2068]

We do not freeze the cake. I tried to rebake a smaller version for hubby and me at our anniversary, though. I think I succeded mostly in copying. /Edit: I think these large wedding rings are tacky. We chose a plain band without diamonds (these stones are just a huge scam, google it, there are so many documentaries on the topic). But we could not resist to make them speciulll by choosing a different material. Tantalum. When hubby and I learned about it, we looked at each other and both knew, we were hooked. We did not have a Polterabned btw. We live in a rental appartment and our parents live too far away to celebrate there.

[@labrynna87]

After watching the video I am even more aware than before that my husband and I had quite the non-traditional wedding. And I'm happy about it! --- Engagement rings (with huge diamonds) are also very common in Germany. However, most women wear it on the left hand (like in America) instead of at the same finger as the wedding band.

[@regi985]

for a wedding to count for the state (taxes and rights and stuff) it need to be in a Standesamt (court house) or a official venue, there are some in castles or other cool venues that are booked out years in advance ;) This normally is not a big deal, often with formal clothes but not a true wedding dress and relatively short with the most time taken up by signing paperwork and deciding on the family name. Often people have a court house wedding with just the closest family or friends and then a big party after the church/ceremonial wedding. You can have a church wedding or whatever other ceremony you want at whatever location you want, as long as the person holding the ceremony is okay with the location there are no limitations. And this would be the big event with a wedding dress and all your family and friends. If you only do this, then you are not married in the eyes of the german state and I assume most priests won´t do it without the official court house wedding first, but I don´t know.

[@Max-gu5so]

In my region Polterabend is not common. Its always in the week before the wedding. I participated at one twl times. At one there were some cups an plates. At the other some friends of that guy came up with a tractor and trailer with some stuff on it. Even a toilet. The husband gonna have to clean everything up.

[@DASPRiD]

Another great tradition is how you gift the married couple money: This is usually involving some elaborate task, like putting a lot of coins into a toilet bowl and then filling it with concrete. Or what I did for my brother's wedding: putting a bunch 5€ bills in individual envelopes, filling 20 times more envelopes with fake bills and putting all that in a giant box filled with styrofoam balls… That was a lot of fun :D

[@ClaudiaErnst]

You can get only the courthouse wedding, but not only the church wedding. Of course we have like many other countries different kinds of weddings, meals, dresses, bouquets, .... aso. But the US movies influenced our weddings and in special the whole bachelorette bridemates things. The wedding cake can also be a Mett cake, just googel it in the picture search.😂

[@aury3633]

Raw meat cake? Why? 😮

[@ClaudiaErnst]

@@aury3633 Because we can in Germany.😁 Not everybody likes sweet stuff and it's yummy.

[@nriamond8010]

You can get only a church wedding (Catholic; NOT possible for protestants) but then, you are not legally married but only married for the Catholic church.

[@silvialittlewolf]

Hi hi! 1. The thing with the porcelain is true, but you don't get your expensive china out for that. There's places that sell cheap "malware" porcelain with defects that couldn't get sold for regular use, so it goes to the Polterabend. 2. You don't have to marry in a church, you can also go to a venue like a castle (Schloss). However, this would not constitute a legal marriage. Only the marriage at the registrar's office is legally binding, hence it needs to be done first. The rest is just "the party", albeit optional. Quite a few people skip on that and only go to the "Standesamt" to make their marriage legal. 3. Engagement rings do exist but I usually don't see them on a German lady's hand - unless she's marrying an American. 😄

[@LisaBeta-42]

My husband bought the bouquet just 20 minutes before the wedding, because the whitness asked him IF we had thought of any flowers at all: the flourist nearly died of shock, she thought she had 3 to 5 days to compose the perfect flowers. It took only 18 minutes to get legally married - still being together, although we skipped the church bit. A toilet is called porcellain, but more often is made of cheaper stuff and braking Glas or Steingut is NO sign of luck - as breaking a mirror is supposed to make you unlucky for the next 7 years - but back then mercury was used to make mirrors shine and reflect your picture: breaking THAT would contaminate your surroundings, so "bad luck" also included illnesses due to poisoning.

[@ems.5703]

You would also celebrate the 25. Silver wedding and the 50. Golden wedding as anniversarys. Mostly with a big party and all your family and friends. If the couple is merried in the church there would also be a blessing ceremony similar to a wedding.

[@rachelglenn4821]

Most weddings I’ve been to are much smaller (than what I’ve seen from the US) and many don’t follow all traditions and yes ofc it’s a typically “western” wedding celebration. My mom actually got married in a traditional german gown and not in white but she’s also the only person I know who did that so idk

[@franziminimuff9562]

Well, my parents had a Polterabend but not my sister. I think you can decide If you want to have it

[@annehoog]

The white wedding dress wasn't a thing before queen Victoria decided to wear one. After she did, others wanting to copy her followed suit. Here in the Netherlands, you can only get married at certain registered places, and outside of city/town hall there are very few of them so most get married there. Also many here aren't married at all. I personally am not, it really doesn't hold any extra value to me and I'm not a big fan of being centerstage at a big way too expensive party (I know, I'm such a romantic....)

[@martinagopfert7509]

I‘m from Germany and I wear my Wedding ring on the left hand. All my family and many friends do so as well.

[@Headhunter-5000]

The church part is optional and really depends on your religion (or no religion as in my case).

[@alexradojkovic9671]

In the 60s, I once saw a new bride in white kiss a passing chimney sweep for luck. German chimney sweeps used to wear a uniform that consisted of a black suit and top hat (I shit you not). You'll have to google that.

[@KittenKatja]

It can happen that parties are thrown on anniversaries, but the huge parties that are like the original wedding are thrown 25-yearly anniversaries. The first is the bronze wedding, the second is the silver wedding, the third and possibly the last is the golden wedding.