AMWF: CHINESE CHEATING EPIDEMIC

[@alishamcg]

I have to say, this scared me like crazy when I was first dating my Chinese boyfriend. All my Chinese girl friends said to not have your hopes high dating someone, but I never understood the meaning. I honestly don't know what their parents tell them. But it scared me more when I found out that his old friend, who isn't necessarily a friend but you know, "guanxi"... His friend brought his mistress to a dinner, I was so shocked. I've never met someone like that openly and knowingly. My boyfriend said he wasn't a good man, and man did I make it clear if he ever cheated on me I would leave immediately. I don't tolerate that shit, because once you lose trust, its so hard to build back. Anyways I was just scared by what some girls said, but I find some people tolerate the bullshit and say "men will be men". Like hell no, have some common decency and respect. I think sometimes here people tolerate way too much crap and they need to have the discussion.

[@sc_arriola382]

aallhh A that happened to me. I was the mistress i didnt know and he brought me to dinners brought me to a wedding etc. When i found out i never would have suspected anything cuz of him bringing me to dinners. Crazy shit. Now i know the culture more and learn to be so careful.

[@yunlongjiang6570]

Omg, I'm also stupefying by what you saying and I'm Chinese. I think this is why some boys like me never found a girl lol

[@pjscafe]

Remember everybody, cheating happens everywhere. It sucks but it happens not just in China.

[@alishamcg]

True, but it seems widely common and not so much shamed...

[@sc_arriola382]

aallhh A aggreed

[@MM-zp4dz]

More than 50% of marriages in US end in divorce and the vast majority of these cases are due to infidelity - that is cheating by one of the spouses, mostly men. So, how could it be a Chinese thing when it occurs at a higher rate per capita in US?

[@alishamcg]

First off, in China there is a cultural repercussion of divorce. Culturally its extremely looked down upon, and women have little benefits because of the patriarchal system. I've known women who fear of leaving a marriage because the way people will view them. So people cheat openly, even within the bonds of marriage. (NOT every marriage in China, but it is quite open.) In the US, generally speaking people will leave the person if that ever happened. Many people don't tolerate that crap, while unfortunately many Chinese people do among other things. (AGAIN, NOT EVERYONE) I guess by statistics the US has more reported cases, but what about the unreported in the broad spectrum? These are two differing cultures, with different morals and ethics for certain cases.

[@sc_arriola382]

aallhh A well said

[@cooperlisa69]

Cheating happens everywhere. Can't judge one country on that. I know a lot of American men who have cheated. It depends on the man and if he truly loves his wife same goes for the wife.

[@miriamtiuseco2nd]

I know that if the husband has very strong family values, and he values his family to be intact and whole, he won't cheat. I know many chinese guys like that. They are atheists BTW, so religion plays no role here. Conscience and morals exert strong influence on them.

[@voltaireduterte8986]

Hallo ! schön Laura thank you for the advice and sharing your honest experience. "a lion wouldn't cheat, but a tiger wood." Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Lingling thank you for another episode of AMWF. Kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[@user-kf5cp4gh7u]

"Cheating":it depends on the person. I don't think it is more common than the rest of world (based on percentage).

[@awakenedventures3501]

I love your videos! It has given me a lot of insight.😘

[@vi6141]

lingling~ have you ever wanted to try interviewing chinese in beijing streets? asking them about amwf seems interesting to watch ~~

[@voltaireduterte8986]

Ana funny I have the same idea.

[@vi6141]

Lenaaround i understand because same here and i'm nervous around people i don't know haha but feel free to do it whenever you feel okay, also chinese are very nice so i guess it's a plus :)

[@kelvinbaldwin2927]

If he is rich, he definitely will, based on my experience

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Kelvin Baldwin according to what I've seen and heard then I agree

[@armstrongchan1417]

Does your chanel talk about gay relationship as well? I am a male and had dated 2 white guys before , who both married with kids, cheating is universal!

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Armstrong Chan no I haven't discussed that much. I'm sorry for that. Hope you're OK!

[@熱帶地區]

It is a very informative, useful and interesting vlog 😊👍

[@gangshan]

Chinese this generation still have suffered from some psychological complex due to their parents, who lived through wars, following political upheavals, and extreme poverty. Their parents mostly were hurt before, affecting their children.

[@jessiehorne]

Another wonderful video from you Lingling on AMWF relationships. Let me take this time to welcome your friend Laura to this series of talk on AMWF 😀 Yes Lingling and Laura this topic is a common question I know. As you mentioned in this video I feel the possible reasons that Chinese males have a wife as well a girlfriend/s comes from the emperor having them in the past especially for the older generation of males. It also happens as though more and more Chinese marriages are not set up by the parents of the two respective people these days because of those arrangements. Hopefully the divorce rates in China will start going down in the near future Lingling and Laura. Well till next time Zaijan Lingling 👋 Zaijan Laura 👋

[@ourcnwedding753]

Hey Robert, it certainly is a poor excuse but it is also a fact that powerful men had concubines to show off their money, power and status - a phenomenon which is still very present in today's business world in China (and certainly also other countries). Sure, it's not an excuse, but the concept of equating mistresses with power and money certainly stems from this history.

[@jessiehorne]

Our CN Wedding Yes that is a very poor excuse to say the least ... I am sorry if it seemed I was trying to make an excuse for the cheating to take place because it is not .

[@tresfoil]

Your makeup was so cute in this video!

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Calliope thanks 😋

[@nihaomatilda5727]

Hi Lingling and Laura, thanks for this great vid! I have also encountered married men who failed to tell me about this detail before meeting in person. Apparently you have to always ask. Especially dsating apps are tricky in my experience, you just have to always ask or else... Secondly I have noticed lots of men do not wear their wedding ring - do you know anything about why that is?? Lastly, I also feel like there is some sort of double standard going on here, although it is surely stereotyping both sides here, myself and a colleauge have found that people here expect western women, or maybe just westerners in gerneral, to be super promiscuous and what not, and then at the same time they are the worst cheaters on the planet... - your video helped me understand some of the underlying reasons for this, XIEXIE girls!!! Cheers from Shanghai!!!

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Ni Hao Matilda yep the stereotypes of western women are very much alive in China right now which is super annoying. Another reason why I mostly date guys who's been abroad and don't think stupid things like that... I totally agree on the double standard problem.. Anyways, thank you for watching girl. Let's meet up if you're ever around Beijing or I'll let you know if I'm coming to Shanghai :) x

[@meredithr9824]

For some reason I immediately thought about checkers. 'What's this crazy board?! This isnt how you play!!'

[@zhli4238]

Chinese do not wear wedding rings (men or women). One can come to drastic different conclusions from this practice, given that other western wedding traditions are widely accepted by the Chinese.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+zhli would be nice and easier if they did

[@terrencecheung2450]

For older generation it is quite common especially for successful men. They are luck of education, got rich real quick, they got married old school way (men and women weren't as picky as nowadays). And many of the wives know it but because last generation women mostly don't work and submissive, and they don't want to divorce because they will "lose face", and no one to rely. But I guess new generation tend to change for a bit

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Terrence Cheung I agree on what you're saying.

[@sc_arriola382]

This video is so helpful i wish i woulda seen it sooner. Hopefully it will help some girls avoid heartbreak.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Skye Chavis I really hope it will. I'm happy that I weren't too invested in my guy at that time but it's still freaking annoying...

[@topspark9155]

Cheating is not fine and people should not do it . Are you in relationship with someone in china 🇨🇳

[@topspark9155]

Lenaaround , thank you for replying , sorry being nosy are you an English teacher in China 🇨🇳 also how long have you lived there 🤔

[@topspark9155]

Lenaaround hi , thanks for replying . You must just got up :) it’s 20 to 11here in Manchester it must be 20 to 7 in Beijing . Is the weather nice today . We had our first snow ❄️ about 10 days ago . When will it snow in Beijing normally? Is it cold there in winter? Are you studying Chinese in uni 🤔

[@rhonateleron8791]

Hi. I am from Philippines and I’m dating a Chinese guy for almost 5 months now. He’s back in China for awhile to celebrate the Chinese New Year with his family. It was cool for me until he stops communicating with me the moment he arrives in China telling me that I’d harm him if I voluntarily contacts him first and he said that I should wait for him to contact me. But 3 nights had passed and he never contacted me so I sent him a message to ask if he’s good. He became angry to me and tell me to follow what he told me to do and blocked me. He said he has a house in China, other from his parents house and he is paying for the house and living there alone. I kinda doubt he have a WIFE IN CHINA. That’s the question I wanted to be answered. But he blocked me and I couldn’t contact him. He’d be back here in the Philippines next month after the Chinese New Year. What do you think so? Can you help me tell if he’s telling me the truth or he’s really hiding something from me.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

He blocked you for a reason. I would not bother contacting him again. Also, I wouldn't take him back when he's back in the Philippines. That's my advice 😔 sry

[@dayan1287]

Same situation, he came back to China for Chinese New year.

[@enoseliezer3335]

You need to ask him to inviting you when there is a chinese big day then :) if He rejects you then move on, find another man, he is definitely cheat

[@eusillopez2]

Now im scared.. my boyfriend will fly back to China the end of this month. If ever he will do the same, like block me or tell me to wait until he contact me, then it will be a sign . And it's over !!

[@savoirfaire8979]

*I would never cheat on my wife-especially if she was Lena. ;-D*

[@kamhong7441]

I must say your answer was very promising albeit a bit cheesy to my liking .

[@voltaireduterte8986]

Michael Jackson song:"The Girl is Mine" Well, after loving me, she said she couldn't love another, so beat it !

[@savoirfaire8979]

Voltaire Duterte *Fite me. I will defend thy dame’s honor.*

[@voltaireduterte8986]

I will defend my girl with AK-47. so sleep with it !

[@savoirfaire8979]

Voltaire Duterte *Silly peasant. Thou shall not tug on Superman’s cape.*

[@sc_arriola382]

The video ive been waiting for LOL

[@plauditecives]

Your friend Laura is a lovely person.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+plauditecives she is indeed

[@merinsan]

I know a lot of Chinese guys, and I have to say, cheating is considered normal.

[@yicozao]

背叛不仅仅发生在中国，在世界上到处都有。对伴侣忠诚是作为一个男人对女人最基本的承诺。

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+yicozao 嗯嗯

[@vanessaromansiuce3462]

Hi:) Leena , what is your lipstick ? It’s really pretty

[@spencer7404]

Looks like MAC lady danger to me.

[@spencer7404]

The one you apply in the video looks pretty on you, suits your eye shadow .

[@acornsucks2111]

As the world turns.

[@spencer7404]

According to some survey research, the fact may shock you. The average ratio of cheating in China is about Men 40% and Women 60% ( prostitutes not included ). In certain type of workplace, like state-owned enterprises or institutions, women's number is above 80% (sex trade, money or power). I consider it true based on situations of some of my besties. There are 40 million men more than women. Women get more temptations of all kinds. With the stress or routine in relationship, women are easily set the wrong foot in China. I get hitting on all the time, it's annoying, but sometimes makes you feel good. To be honest, I understand those who cheat. It's really a trigger thing.

[@spencer7404]

That research I mentioned is a little shocking because it's based on certain workplace. And the men dominating situation is the exact reason why in some workplace such as state-owned enterprises and institutions, the women's cheating ratio is higher. If you ask some Chinese friends about the situation of those places. They may answer you with one phrase '藏污纳垢'. There is a Tencent research about the cheating issues of the young people in China in 2016. The numbers are usually higher in middle-aged people. Here is the link: news.qq.com/cross/20160815/U6RV5t07.html

[@idunablack2592]

Culture barriers thar occur in a amwf relationship

[@idunablack2592]

Lenaaround hh it would be interesting to make a video about that 😂😉

[@xihangyang]

cheating in china is illegal. so in a divorce would be a plus punt if you want the child custordy when your partner cheat. Also in the europe you need to be seppearate from each other for 5 year before you can file for a divorce.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+xihang yang hmm I don't think that's true

[@xihangyang]

I think in french you need to be sepperate from each other for 5 year before you can file for divorce. Not sure about denmark. There no such thing as pre-divorce in China. Cheating in a pre-divorce (sepperation) is not cheating in europe.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+xihang yang it's not like that in Denmark. Remember Europe is not one country. There are different rules everywhere. Anyways, cheating is a bad thing all over :)

[@htin08]

The word "cheating" is so harsh. Should be only used when one side of the love triangle felt cheated. Polygamy is a nicer term. Tibetan have a tradition of all the brothers of a family marry to a woman as common wife.

[@yujitsuzuki5439]

Dude, how many European dudes cheap on their girlfriends?

[@jennbrandon8182]

Not that much compared to China

[@petermcg749]

Jenn Brandon which is unlikely. That is why they need personal space/time

[@valde2707]

Cheating..? No good at all!!! It is a phenomena very is very characteristic for the human race :(

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

+Valde // and very sad

[@kamhong7441]

Have you ever watched Thomas blog , he , a German guy married a Shanghai woman living in Shanghai , lots of good videos from him , you can see a lot chemistry between them ...... working in perfect harmony .阿福 Thomas is his KZbin name , his latest video today is called没想到结婚四年后的第一次约会，会是在超市！

[@kamhong7441]

I do not agree with you , I think Thomas is lovely with wonderful personality ......... white or not white , fat or not fat , certainly not ugly as you put it .

[@kamhong7441]

You are again missing the point as I repeatedly mentioned the term "personality" and not anything to do with a person's physical features .

[@spencer7404]

Thomas is sweet and simple, so is his wife. They both are a little 逗比. I don't think they are typical.

[@saraishinkai15]

type95 .hey hey now don't spill out the truth

[@MM-zp4dz]

Every ugly fat white man has *ugly* Chinese wife - that's the point. Don't you notice that white men never get beautiful Chinese women?

[@idunablack2592]

Laura ich bin auch aus Deutschland!

[@idunablack2592]

Zhenlin Jin hhhh thats nice to hear ^^

[@ourcnwedding753]

Hi Iduna, freut mich sehr :D Aus welcher Region?

[@charmxilee5593]

wtf?

[@Erika2K]

Saddening... I've also read somewhere that 1/3 of Chinese men think having a sexual relationship with a prostitute is not a form of cheating.

[@kizarumelon2477]

linda your pretty though

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

Laura? Or Lena? lol

[@kizarumelon2477]

u, but u gotta change that intro with that song and clip it doesnt fit well with you...... i cringe at that...