AN AUTISTIC REVIEW & REACTION OF 'LOVE ON THE SPECTRUM'

I'm so sorry for the issue with the last upload- let's hope this works!
An autistic review of 'love on the spectrum'
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[@chloeh24]

Hey Chloe, Chloe here (from the show).. I absolutely love your Channel, I’m currently binge watching your videos. Thank you so much for your kind words about me💓

[@chloeshayden]

Girl I absolutely ADORE you! Let’s be friends! 💛

[@garyfrancis5015]

Princess Aspien it good to see Samdy in the comments. I did link a video of your channel to Samdy's. You are louder and more fall of energy than Samdy. Of course you have Australian accent. But Samdy get the same things on her autism and girls videos. The same comments she fake being autistic. She just doing it attention. Vaccine causing autism You don't look autistic. It's just generally hate and mis information. Of what autism is. NT just see autism has classic autism (Kanner autism). They don't care about level 1 (old Asperger's syndrome). So just ignore the comment now about you look autistic. Well to me you describe your own though like a autistic person. NT don't compare themselves to anyone else. So the autistic and NT debate you have to be on the spectrum to think that. So I guess just like with everyone else. I can tell Audar just by the way they talk about there own though process your not normal. You're aspergers/autism join the club. So. Yo Samdy Sam has the same as you it is the same thing in her comments.

[@kriw5658]

@Sailor Pom you are such a queen. I absolutely loved watching you on the show. You exude kindness and beauty. I really hope you collaborate with some of these amazing channels for an interview!

[@melissahood2960]

My daughter (gay and aspie) and I (aspie) loved you on the show! You are lovely!

[@GreenDayBJAS2]

CHLOE YOU WERE MY FAVORITE ON THE SHOW!!! I hope all the best for you in life, you are the sweetest most amazing person and you deserve all the love in the world ♡

[@gingerzarecool]

Really interesting point about person first/ identity first language. I'm a health care professional and we are ALWAYS trained to use person-first language as it is considered much more humanising and compassionate. You will most likely be taken to the side, and potentially disciplined for not using person first language. I had no idea that some people in the autistic community prefer identity-first language, as it is always drilled into us as a big no-no. Thank you so much for the education. Just shows that we need more autistic people involved in the education of health care workers.

[@SallyM-hi1mh]

I was taught the same. I had no idea that autistic and disabled people didn’t like it until fairly recently and have since changed this.

[@specificsoup]

It depends on the disability community. For example, Autistic people generally prefer identity first language, but people with Down’s syndrome generally prefer person first. Then on top of that it’s up to individuals and what they’re comfortable with for themselves. It really breaks my heart that professionals get taught person first so strictly across the board. Glad you are learning!

[@sarahjoy6234]

I binge watched this show last week. I really enjoyed it and generally it does just make you smile a lot (I mostly just wanted to be friends with all the people in it!) but I also 100% agree with everything you said. As a neurotypical (suspected undiagnosed aspie) married to a fully-fledged diagnosed aspie man, I'm not even sure I could be with someone who wasn't on the spectrum! Autistic people have so many positive things to bring to relationships that many neurotypical (men) don't have. My husband is the most sensitive, caring, empathetic person I know and I love that he wears his heart on his sleeve - it means I don't have to spend hours trying to work out how he's feeling, he literally can't hide it haha. I love that he allows me to be my weird self and enjoy weird sensory things and he covers my ears when its too loud and I cover his back when he's having anxiety.

[@girlonabookshelf4922]

I really liked the show, mainly for the people in it, but I agree the way it was edited and the way they spoke about autistic people was just a bit unnerving and you're right when you say that special interests and sensory overloads aren't our only likes and dislikes. For example: my special interest is Musical Theatre and History, but I also like books, poetry, painting and art, animals etc. I don't like abrupt loud noises and overcrowded/unfamiliar places with new people, but I also dislike most vegetables, punk/rock music, racially insensitive comments/people being disrespectful in general. We are more than our special interests and sensory triggers and it can be very condescending when others view us as such, but overall the show is very sweet and I love the people in it :)

[@connorbishop7108]

Love this, brilliantly put Chloe, something i have been discussing and trying to explain to others. Was worried about watching this (series) and now am able to approach this now seeing your review. Thanks

[@thisispearl]

Girl, I love your energy and positivity. Will check out your other videos 😊

[@terrariumelio974]

Hi Chloe. This is a great video. you opened my eyes to many of the preconceived notions that people and the show producers impose on the show. I love the show. I love that the autistic participants are guileless, honest and sincere. These are qualities that my ma instilled in me and that I seek out in others. The trouble is that these qualities are very hard to find in "neurotypical" people. Often my honest was used against me at a very high cost both monetarily and especially emotionally. I truly believe, and say this with no condescension, God put autistic people on earth to be held up as examples of how to be. I love that they are filled with wonderment and get excited over the simple things that truly make life special. What I love most is that they express their emotions. They don't hide away behind a mask. I'm so grateful for this show. For all the missteps it takes it still brings warm feelings to a depressed heart. Thank you very much for the video and the enlightenment I got from it. Ciao Elio

[@michelle19991215]

But the person first and Identity first language thing is really just preference and how the person perceives it. I went to a school where I got bullied for having autism to the point where "autistic" became a scolding word to myself. And saying I have autism is a lot less triggering. Maybe it's an idea to ask a autistic person/ person with autism what they prefer instead of looking at what most people prefer.

[@lizard1325]

great review on this show. I feel the same as you do watching these beautiful people find love, but I couldn't get through the first episode because of the negatives you talked about including the general infantilazing vibes. The "quirky" music bothered me too lol. I am happy for people who can watch the show despite those things but it just ruins it for me personally. If it was edited by an autistic team it would be watchable lol. It's nice to have my initial feelings about the show validated by another person and an autistic person at that (I'm adhd, not sure if i'm autistic but maybe lol). "DRIPPING in inspiration p0rn" is such an accurate description.

[@Petertwohig1948]

Thanks Chloe. You rock.

[@jarradhurley4866]

You're super cute and I love your energy.

[@StoneSaysHello]

I didn't realize that the narrator was using the nature documentary voice, but she absolutely is.

[@martinusasp8927]

You sound more like a PC ideolog rather than an autistic person.

[@Iden_Elihio_1999]

@@martinusasp8927 What?

[@alexf9381]

She is using the DOCUMENTARY voice. You (and Chloe) are just slanting that part negatively on your own accord because of pre-conceived bias. How would you like the narrator to speak? Broken english, slang terms and sounding uninterested? The way the narrator speaks is just how documentary narrators speak... whether it's nature/animal documentaries or any other documentaries. I just watched a documentary on bullying with the same type of narrator voice. It's just normal for documentaries. You're CHOOSING to read too much into it.

[@sharonjensen3016]

No wonder I don't watch this show. Talking about autistics as though you're at the zoo isn't endearing at all.

[@ivypharness2219]

I loved when the dating coach was drawing stick figures in a diagram for Kelvin meanwhile he's a manga drawing prodigy 😂

[@petalchild]

Yeah but that's probably the best the coach can draw lol

[@soropodo7918]

Autistic here. The part about their sensory triggers I liked because when I meet someone I would like to know this in order to be conscious and aware and avoid triggering them. If something may trigger them I would like to know ahead of time and prepare accordingly. We may even have triggers in common or a may know someone who also has this trigger. It's a good talking point.

[@cinnabonbon]

Yea, I also like to talk with other autistic people about what theyre stims are, it just makes it easier to talk to others because i can relate

[@sandcastles73]

Nailed it with that line "they don't like us in real life that much...but as entertainment..."

[@gagrin1565]

Dance puppet, dance!

[@emy7873]

I don't think it's entirely fair to lump us all in the same group though, I personally found the show interesting as someone who has a sibling on the autism spectrum.

[@jeffbeaudoin4544]

I tend to like autistic people alot in real life. When the show first came out I posted that I thought it was exploitation, and got lambasted for that opinion.

[@beagledog2001]

@@emy7873 very unfair indeed I heard quite a lot of this from Love on the Spectrum

[@RavenNiffler]

I hate that people have made you feel this way.

[@usfilms8828]

The thing that got me the most was the music. The music made them seem more child like and kinda aloof in a way that they just weren’t which sucks because I genuinely am invested in these peoples dates. The sunflower date was so cute and I want that 🥺🥺

[@chantillymarie]

i agree i didn’t like that they only paired them up with other autistic people, because many autistic people are very capable with dating neurotypical people, it’s just are the neurotypical people capable of dating us?

[@sophiewhiting6610]

Right??? I am neurotypical and my partner is autistic. I don't love him "because" he's autistic or "despite" his autism (which yes, have been questions I have received from other neurotypical people), I love him for who he IS. It's really that simple. At the beginning of our relationship, there were rocky patches of communication. But now we understand and learn what works best for both of us. That's the whole point of a relationship, to learn, love and support each other.

[@MeelxRevenge]

But whenever the producers would ask them if they would feel more confident dating a NT person or another Austistic person, they'd say that they preferred dating an autistic person because it would be easier for them. So I think that's the reason why they chose to paired them with another autistic person, not because they wanted to discriminate them.

[@Ursella999]

I've been with a neurotypical guy for 10 yrs! It's not anyways easy but it absolutely works! He doesn't look at my autism as an undesirable trait.

[@aileenmarzanna]

I actually have been dating so many neurotypical people, and it always ended badly sooner or later, that at this point, I'm really scared dating someone neurotypical, worrying that it's going to be yet another relationship only lasting a few months.

[@Ursella999]

@@aileenmarzanna I'm sorry to hear that :( I had a lot of terrible relationships with neurotypical people before this relationship. I definitely think with each relationship, we learn what we need and what we don't need. They're not failures, they're learning experiences. :) Even this relationship of 10 years has not been easy! We have been through all the ups and downs you can imagine. But ultimately, we consider the foundation of our relationship is friendship. We respect eachother ultimately the way you respect a best friend. I hope you find someone who takes their time with you and wants to be part of your life 🖤 I truly believe there is that person for everyone and you deserve it.

[@alexissio9962]

Hi! I'm a nursing student and was recently taught in school to use person first language, the rationale being that people are more than just their condition, but thank you thank you thank you for making this video and emphasizing the use of identity first language!! Now I know to use identity first language unless otherwise stated, and will definitely inform my fellow nursing students to use it as well :)

[@chloeshayden]

Thank you so much for listening to actually autistic people

[@loubest174]

@@chloeshayden I just watched this episode of your channel after watching the whole series of "Love on the Spectrum" I acknowledge my enjoyment of the show from a neurotypical point of view, with I do not shy away from, but it was defently essential to listen to your perspective. Thank you for your comments. I am a music therapist from Mexico who works often with autistic and Aspie children. I have the same experience as Alexis Sio. During my training and work in some schools I was taught to use person first language for the same reasons. I was actually proud to have integrated that into my way of communicating. I was actually giving a workshop this weekend for special needs teachers and used it constantly. I must say I usually work with non-verbal clients, so I have never had the opportunity to actually hear the opinion of an autistic person on how he/she wishes to be adressed. Thank you for this information, seems totally logical for me now. This is not the rule to go by in Mexico and, actually, before we used to use identity first language, then it changed, we were told it wasn't appropriate any more. I think culturally it would be a challenge to change it again, but it absolutely makes me think that at least we should ask or be aware of the person's preference or take into consideration their point of view. It made me rethink the whole think and I will definitely bring this to the table with my colleagues. Cheers from Mexico!

[@hollyann6250]

Lou Best same! I was a music therapist in the states and person-first language was drilled into us! I am so grateful for the identity-first explanation.

[@elizabethgrey6040]

Yeah I’ve heard that too circulating around. That using person first language is more “respectful” when in reality it’s not. The name “person first” and the whole idea of “person before disability” sounds nice but I guess it’s kinda like saying “I don’t see colour.” You’re neglecting who that person actually is. So I’ll change my language too and spread the message

[@nobodyimportant5789]

Thankyou!! We need more people like you, open to new ideas and listening to us as the actual autistic people

[@enaratompkins4828]

Hi I'm autistic and I am definitely a fan of this show and I really do agree with you on every point. I tried ranting about it to friends the other day (in both a good and bad way) and just wasn't as articulate as you were so i'll definitely be sharing this with friends! What did stand out to me most about this show though is that it was played off that autistic people can only be with other autistic people. Moreso, if a relationship specialist is helping autistic people with relationships, why is she teaching them skills from a neuotypical dating standard point of view? I think if theres a next season then I'd love to see couples that are mixed neurodiverse and neurotypical. Like you said, there are plenty of people out there who are autistic or otherwise neurodiverse who have relationships or marriages with neurotypicals and they make great couples! Idek if that made any sense but like you, I LOVE this show and really appreciate the representation minus the likes/dislikes segment and the occasional infantilisation.

[@Maple_Usagi103]

Chloe you are the first person to ever explain the identity/person first language issue in a way that make sense to me. I never really understood why it even mattered so much before; even when it was explained by people, I just couldn't get it. I recently got diagnosed earlier this year, and I thought they could be used interchangeably. Thankyou! :) I will now be using identity first language from now on. (Also less syllables so...you know...) well... one less syllable but whatever.

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

Yes it was a really clear explanation. Thanks Chloe 😊

[@electron2601]

I agree, great explanation! Super great thing to discuss too. I will as be using ident first language as well.

[@DaveDoingDaveThings]

Why do you think it's better that you've learned to be triggered by words? Surely you were better off when you made your own mind up and didn't care which way it was said? It's never said in either way to cause offence so I don't see the problem.

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

@@DaveDoingDaveThings Also a good point!

[@Maple_Usagi103]

@@DaveDoingDaveThings lol. Who's triggered here besides you? 1. I never said I was "happy" not understanding the difference. 2. I also never said I was going to go around policing what language other people use for themselves like you are doing here. I was talking about the language I am going to be using for MYSELF from now on. Me, myself, and I I don't care about how it upsets you if I wanted to understand why it made a difference. Now you can go start a fight somewhere else because I am not interested in indulging internet trolls.

[@Yours_sincerely_thedreamer]

It made me a bit sad, that they only tried to couple autistic people with autistic people. Like we are a different species and only “mate” within our own group. Of course autistic couples can work perfectly, because they often have the benefit, that there is much more understanding of the experiences the other person makes that are related to her/ his autism. But I would have loved to see some coupling of autistic persons and neurotypicals or with a person with Down syndrome. What are your opinions on this?

[@emilyouimette2668]

agreed

[@stupidsminkle]

They did this in season 2

[@artificialintelligence0101]

No they didn't, they had speed dates with those who were not on the Spectrum and they didn't get chosen. You know how ignorant and feeble minded majority of people are.

[@yodadback]

It's very inconsistent in how some of the people get either put into a blind date and others have speed dating. It would be nice if they explained how they arranged the dates. The speed dating sometimes has people who seem autistic. I can tell because I'm on the specturm. Both the U.S. and UK versions are good but I wish there was more variety of people on the spectrum because as a higher functioning autistic on the spectrum, I find it harder to relate to the males because they seem to have more awkwardness and the males are higher on the spectrum than the women on the show at times and even myself. I can relate in behavior to the females on the show compared to the men. I was diagnosed at age 5 (now 25) and I do not consider autism as an identity. It is a disease but its not something that needs to be cured. It's more of a psychological quirk than a disease. I just don't like people identifying as autistic. Its not something you choose to be its something you were born with even if you were diagnosed at an older age. There are challenges in my life that would be much easier if I was neurotypical. But I wouldn't change who I am. I love the way I think. I think differently than neurotypicals and I think it's valuable to conversation and the people who I have connected with really well really like me.

[@aaronz1326]

Autistic people aren't always confident enough to express their difference in public. Sometimes we mask heavily because we know our differences won't be accepted and the fear of being rejected and ridiculed is overwhelming, to the point where we crush and contort ourselves into the shape the world seems to want from us.

[@vvelvettearss]

That's me, I can't bear to be seen as different or quirky honestly. There was a time i sort of flaunted it cuz I didn't know how to be but as I get older all I want is to fit in, I can make art, play music and my brain has weirdly intelligent moments but I'm damned if that makes me who I am or anyone loves me because of my "aspie-ness" just no fk off I'm me and you're tou haha xD who what's to stand out? Once you know what it's like standing out then tell me you love it. Now people probably notice me for my reclusiveness so that worked xD honestly I hate my autism ..sorry

[@aaronz1326]

@@vvelvettearss I think i understand. As i get older I actually am more myself but this is more about having the courage to speak up about things or not be apologetic about who I am. Having said that i will never be someone who wants to draw attention to myself. I'm sorry to hear you hate your autism but I do understand. I have a love hate relationship with mine sometimes. One of the things I hate is ordinary things that other people find so easy they don't even think about, that are really challenging for me.

[@bonniecarpenter145]

I’m like that. I’m so good at masking that people don’t believe I’m autistic when I tell them so then I feel like I have to prove I am autistic 🙄

[@bug8992]

@@vvelvettearss I hate my autism to I always feel like if I didn’t have it my life would be better

[@xavierhutchinson7257]

Well said, well said

[@JT-xh1ih]

The Dislikes: 100% They're talking about sensory triggers AND THEN SHOWING THEM? This is just very clearly not made for them or autistic audiences. The Narration: Let's study the fascinating creatures that are autistic people David Attenborough-style The Parents: They included so much weird dialogue RIGHT in front of the folks as if they weren't there, and several of them (on and off the show) always talk about how they knew that something was "wrong," or about "how hard it was" and it's like... You are RIGHT in front of your kid. Shut up.

[@sharonjensen3016]

Somebody pass a sick bag, please. I think I'm about to throw up.

[@auradragonfly]

Ikr. I hated hearing the thunder and the squeaky flip flops sound. Yicky!

[@kriw5658]

I agree with how it was unfortunate when they talked about Michael like he wasn't in the room. I loved the show so much but definitely had a few issues like this.

[@IndieAndy]

13:05 to 13:20 - ABSOLUTELY, THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!!! As an autistic who is engaged to a neurotypical woman, I find it abit jarring when that experience isn't shown or shut down in the media. It was nice though to see autistic people who are in relationships as to me being in the UK, we haven't really seen that before even though it's a very normal thing and should be shown. BUT I would have liked to have seen more autistic & NT based relationships shown and more representation in terms of POC. I mean I think, on the whole, this show wasn't as bad as what I thought it would be. I think the way that the parents talk to or about their kids is degrading. For me the language used (Person first, identity first) I do agree with you that the show could have used that opportunity to follow autistic people's lead especially since they have clearly shown their preferences. But that whole conversation I think it's something that's going to take time to get into the minds of people doing these kinds of shows.

[@Ursella999]

I believe in a recent interview, Micheal actually mentioned he has more interest in dating someone neurotypical.

[@ashleyfeinberg6666]

Yes he did. I am not autistic, my younger brother is, and he has only ever dated neutrotypical people.

[@Ursella999]

@@ashleyfeinberg6666 I really hope they pair them with neurotypical ppl next season. I'm autistic and I've been with my NT partner for 10 years.

[@elizabethbennet4791]

@@Ursella999 WHY????

[@M12.22]

@@elizabethbennet4791 WHY NOT???

[@MyOwnWorld221]

@@elizabethbennet4791 because that's how it's supposed to be too lol wth kinda question is that

[@sirenvampire0721]

My boyfriend is also autistic, and last February he and I went to go see a play. At one point during the show, my trigger (yelling) got me and I started crying uncontrollably, but as silently as I could to be respectful. My boyfriend saw this, asked me if I was okay, I told him that I didn’t know, and then he held me, and wouldn’t let me go through the rest of the first act

[@adjjal]

This made me cry I want a relationship like that

[@audih0e]

hey so I like could not get through an episode of this show it just gives me vibes of like "aw look at the baby trying to be a big boy how sweet" it's just so deeply steeped in neurotypical concepts of how people are "supposed" to act and interact that it can't treat the way autistic people act as "normal" I've had a few neurotypical friends ask my opinion of it after saying they watched it and cried or felt inspired etc and after only a little bit of conversation with them they realized the reason they were moved by it is that they weren't seeing the autistic people as PEOPLE but as vessels for entertainment I love representation, I think it's important for all marginalized communities. however, I feel like this is A-typical all over again, where I'll tell people I am autistic and they'll start asking me questions about penguins because it wasn't clearly explained to them how different autistic people can be and that just because they saw one autistic person who was into penguins, that does not mean we are ALL into penguins.

[@unicornfarts8811]

I got those vibes too after watching the show

[@Elena-tt6gs]

They are all really brave to go out there and date so publicly. I could never do that.

[@jakk9560]

Same

[@ALIANGRL]

I don't think autistic people in general are more confident than neurotypicals per say. However, I do think that diagnosed autistic people might be more confident than neurotypical people. I'm autistic myself and as a kid I was very confident, until I started realising that I was different and people started pointing it out to me and called me weird. Between the ages of 13-25 I wasn't confident at all. It wasn't until recently when I was diagnosed at 25 years old that I finally started feeling confident again. Because now I know why I am the way that I am and I know that there are other people like me; Different, not less.

[@yeet-lj3dr]

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OMG

[@catz537]

I just got diagnosed at 25 too! I found out a few days ago. I definitely agree that knowing is a relief and I think it gives you an explanation, so you can tell people if you need to

[@cinnabonbon]

Same :D Its so lovely knowing there are other people just like me :)

[@Foxcato]

I'm 36 and was diagnosed just a few months ago and I've had the excact same experience.

[@carsonsomething2825]

I would like a vid about the puzzle piece problem in the autistic community- I myself am autistic and I'm just kinda curious Like if you agree, cool??

[@yasminecumar3450]

Basically the puzzle piece shows us as “broken” and needing to be fixed, put together. We are already good enough as ourselves. Yes we experience the world in a different way but we need accommodations because the world is catered tK Neurotypicals, not us. We are not’ “ missing any puzzle pieces”. Also autism speaks uses the puzzle Piece and we don’t support them

[@melaniemills3733]

I find your descriptions of person 1st/identity 1st language really interesting. I'm 42 and was only diagnosed 2 months ago, after researching autism for my daughter who was diagnosed last year. Initially I was saying "my daughter has autism" after a lot of research and getting my own diagnosis I now say that we both "are autistic". Love your review of this show!!

[@sketchs_art_corner]

I love how these aren’t stereotypical gorgeous people. They feel like real, genuine, beautiful people, these people are wonderful

[@jenniemoore8307]

I'm on the spectrum and I personally like this show . And I like the title in the UK we have a dating tv show called the undatables and that's about disabled people dating as well I've never watched that .the title put me of watching it I just want to say thank you for making me feel positive about being autistic and less alone because previous to watching your channel I thought am I the only one that references and relates to characters in TV shows and film and I'm just glad I'm not the only one that does that 😊😊😊

[@ogmegzy]

Ive seen that show undateables its awesome....

[@nl3087]

It's a cruel name

[@LilyRosetheDreamer]

God, same, I watched a bit of it, but the title "The Undateables" is so damn rude - you don't see that on another show like First Dates. :/ Annoys me.

[@jean_the_bean]

same! i hated ‘undatables’ because it felt so rude, but i love ‘love on the spectrum’

[@heckinstellar]

something that i noticed from the beginning is that the cast is overwhelmingly white :/ i like the inclusion of kelvin, but it doesn't help the message of autism being something only for white people, with a token minority here and there. i know dating shows in general have this problem, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating to see. they made sure to talk about girls not being diagnosed as much as they should (which was awesome!), but black and brown people are going through the same thing, so i would have liked to see that talked about more.

[@kriw5658]

I really hope they do better with this problem for season 2.

[@vera_nika2]

Agreed....one Asian did manage to get on the cast only

[@heckinstellar]

@@rohnogeppert3320 "overwhelmingly" as in an "overwhelming majority." i did not misspeak.

[@jessdesilva9678]

I don't think it was them deliberately doing this, the fact of the matter is the show is set in Australia where a high percentage of the population is white.. Australia is different from America mate

[@heckinstellar]

@@jessdesilva9678 the ethnic breakdown of australia's population has nothing to do with it. i said i would have liked to see them talk about how black and brown people are undiagnosed. that point could have been made very well with the cast only having one non-white person, but it wasn't because they didn't talk about it.

[@jessovens8511]

I have actually been taught in my school to use person first language but now when it comes up in conversation or at uni I will always let people know that most of the community prefer identity first language and that they should ask :)

[@heathwilder]

That's ace Jess. I prefer Identity first and my experience among the community is that that is the general preference. (Of course if someone want's to be person first then good for them - respect, it's just no for me)

[@Dancestar1981]

Actually is different for all individuals o the spectrum

[@yado7550]

people talking about me like im not there when im sitting right next to them is probably the most frustrating shit someone can do

[@sharonjensen3016]

I hate that too.

[@CourtneyEWashington]

Going to copy/paste my thoughts on a different review; whoops! For reference I'm on the spectrum (diagnosed at 2) and have a lot of friends who are neurodiverse. The best parts of the show by far were IMO the two already established couples. I think a lot of the dates were awkward, not necessarily because of the autism, but because they were first dates. The second dates overall were better. Not a big fan of the workshop scenes, mainly becaused they felt forced by producers and/or parents (who really knows though). This show definitely had more of a documentary feel rather than reality TV feel which I think inspired a lot of the choices (the music, the likes/dislikes which I actually enjoyed, etc.) and it's really meant to educate neurotypicals, specifically allistics. Going at it from that angle, I still enjoyed quite a few parts of it. "Inspiration porn" is weird to me because I like seeing people like me portrayed in a normal but positive light, while many autistics don't. This is a representation of actually autistic people rather than allistics playing autistics, and in my opinion that's a step up from most media today. If there's another season there definitely should be some neurotypicals in the relationship pool and some autistics on the creative team for assistance with date planning and knowledge of sensory overloads that can override production. Let the daters involved in on the date planning; some people just aren't good with the standard dinner and movie (neurotypicals included). That convention date was one of my favorite parts because it felt so natural.

[@wantingoneangel8976]

Chloe, I so agree that this show should be "made by Autistic People for Autistic People":)! And yes, Autistic people do date Nuerotypical People too:). I had a Boyfriend in my L.D. High School Class who has Autism and is now a Psychologist:)!! It did not work out between us, but NOT because he is Autistic!! It was because we just were not right for one another, just like other couples when it just does not work out. However, I do agree with you Chloe that it is nice to follow the couples on this particular "Love on the Spectrum" show to see how their relationships grow:)!! And Chloe, I so LOVED it when the Man said, "That is the difference between love and lust", which to me is important in any long term romantic relationship:)!! He could teach many Men, Autistic or not, something about being a Man:)!!! However, I found the "Counselor" annoying. Also, although I guess I am Nuerotypical, but I have some things in common with the Ladies like I too LOVE to collect Dolls and Toys as well as I LOVE flowers, including Sunflowers:)!! So, In my opinion, whether someone is Autistic or Nuerotypical, we are all Human Beings and basically we all want to be loved as well as have friends who care about us:)!! Thanks for sharing this video:)!! And Chloe, I pray that You and Your Family as well as all your Animals stay safe and healthy

[@heatherridge2730]

Hey Chloe, I'm Heather (from season 2 of the show)... Like Chloe Hatch (who is on Season 1 (and possibly 2), I adore your content (first video I watched was the Sia's Music review). Thank you for an autistic perspective on the show! Can't wait to see more!

[@Coldnfallen]

I feel empathy, but I over do it to show it now. Years ago, it was pointed out that I hurt someone because I never asked how they were or listened. I never forgot. I still hear them say it in the back of my head, but they don't even remember it now.

[@LelynnsSquirrels]

he said "it's like makin out with Medusa" [LMFAO] 💖

[@AdrianColley]

Was this really a first-view reaction? All the thoughts are almost supernaturally well organised. It's really impressive, and informative. I really disliked the show's use of "normal" for neurotypical and "disabled" for neuroatypical. It was especially bad that these words came from the parents.

[@michelebergman4336]

Why don’t u get a job on this show in production?

[@katiemarie8619]

There's a show here in the UK called the undatables which is a dating show for people with disabilities whether thats a mental or physical disability. I'm neurotypical so i don't really have a say, however i do think the name is not very nice. I have a physical disability and it feels a bit like they're saying that people with disabilities are undatable

[@jenniemoore8307]

I've commented about that as well 😊😊 I never watched undatables

[@enaratompkins4828]

I haven't seen that show but I've heard of it and have always had a problem with the title!

[@garyfrancis5015]

Enara Tompkins Undateables is great entertainment if your NT. But aspergers it just make us the adults who don't make into a joke. Only the once that don't mask get on the show. Like Lord Richard.

[@Dancestar1981]

Saw snippets of it can’t stand that show

[@jackstraw4222]

yea iv saw it and they are biased towards these topics as if seen over the years,they have certain view of how certain types should act and thus the show would be scripted in this way...they do the same with other dating shows..

[@porkio192]

I HAVE GAYNESS

[@laurazaetz9505]

I am autistic and one time I brought a stuffed animal inside my purse to work and I got weird looks for it, but it felt comforting to me, so I relate to the adult lady who brought her teddy bear with her.

[@amyb444]

I liked this show because it made me so incredibly hopeful that I can find a relationship because all my previous ones have failed and I hate feeling like I am the problem because of my Autism

[@snowfoxxie]

You can do it!~ me- random girl on the internet is cheering you on!

[@TheCapitalAlfa]

Yes, yes, YES!! Oh, I _loved_ this review!! I had like 98% all the same feelings and reactions as you had watching the program!! I cried like trough the whole series tho.. Really because I had never seen so many same-minded people as me, ever before in my life. This show made me feel like home in so many ways. But you bring up a really important point here in your review... The way that many NT could see the show might really differ. Anyway, thank you really much for sharing your views on this episode and for bringing up new perspectives to ponder upon the subject!

[@nutjobproductions5576]

I saw the show myself, and my initial reaction was, well, kind of a mixed blessing. But I can definitely say this, it’s wasn’t boring and didn’t show them in a bad light. These people are definitely unique.

[@catz537]

I went for a diagnosis and found out that I am in fact autistic a few days ago. I watched this show last night, and I didn't have a lot of super strong feelings about it, but the one thing I couldn't stop thinking about was Michael's problematic language about women. There is some subtle misogyny in a lot of what he says, but I think he genuinely doesn't understand that what he's saying is problematic. Like his ideas about dating and women in particular come from society and maybe his dad (the scene where he is going over his brother's dating advice before his date and his dad makes a comment that most men wouldn't even think of that, and his mom says something about how she taught Michael that). I also think he might not be as good at wording things, so he probably just needs someone to explain to him why it's not okay to talk that way about women. I don't think he's a bad person...just misguided and needing to word things in a way that isn't so misogynistic. I will say at least that his actions don't line up with the way he speaks - when he's on his date with Amanda, and she gets uncomfortable, he doesn't pressure her at all to continue the date. He gives her space and is very understanding when she needs to end the date, so this is a good thing. Also, I'm very very glad that you pointed out the things you did in this video, because they were things I didn't consider at all while watching the show. The person first language thing isn't something I've ever thought about, probably because I don't know a lot about the autistic community yet since I was just diagnosed. I *have* heard from many people that autism speaks is a bad organization and casts autistic people in a negative light. And you made a good point about how only showing sensory overload issues as the things that autistic people don't like makes us out to seem like aliens, or as if those are the only things we couldn't like. I also agree with you about the infantilization, and your point about giving the parents too much credit - because you're right, even though their parents helped them along, it was the autistic people who ultimately achieved what they have. Oh, and I will say that the way Jodi and the other "autistic life coaches" talked about autistic people was off-putting to me. The way she talked *to* her clients, especially Kelvin, was incredibly infantilizing. I found it condescending...If she talked to me that way I would take great offense to it. And I *have* had people talk to me in a condescending way, on more than one occasion. It always infuriates me. I understand that Kelvin is on a different part of the spectrum than I am, and maybe he needed more help with socializing, but I still think she could've talked to him in a way that was less condescending. Also: I have been in a relationship with someone who is not autistic for 8 years now. We just had our anniversary recently. I was very surprised when Olivia said she came across a statistic that 95% of autistic people don't find love. So yes, I 100% agree that pairing up people with the same disability or, as I prefer to call it, the same neurodiverse personality type, is kind of ridiculous. I didn't need to be with an autistic person to be happy, and my boyfriend doesn't need to be with someone who's not autistic to be happy.

[@Lalabooey]

i’m not autistic but that show was so wholesome. i really hope they make a season 2

[@jerrihines7992]

Such a great review. I have been using person first language. Thanks for pulling me up on that.

[@taylorrobert2088]

I actually got in trouble a the Spectrum Center are used to work at for saying Autistic they made us say Children with autism.. kinda pissed me off because as a Mentor I felt it was better to say Autistic children because they need to be proud of who they are!

[@fenrik8178]

The empathy thing was why I was only officially diagnosed as autistic in my teens. They already suspected I was autistic when I was like five, and I went to professionals for it, but according to my parents they didn’t diagnose me as autistic because I was able to recognize emotions and be emphatic or something. Very strange... On the autistic vs person with autism thing. I do personally prefer to refer to myself as autistic instead of someone with autism. However, in my country the word ‘autistic’ is often used by neurotypicals when they’re being clumsy or do something stupid or care a lot about small details, so sometimes I have to refer to myself as a person with autism to make that distinction. It’s annoying.

[@mika_amongst_evergreens]

Thank you so much for talking about person vs identity first language! I'm an Education major and was taught to do person-first. Which, confused me as a ND person since when I've talked with Autistic people in the ND community, they usually say they prefer identity first. Thank you for going into more detail about it!

[@robokill387]

I do agree that it's kind of infantilising and "inspiration porn"-y. Regarding the issue of only depicting autistic people dating other autistic people, I think it's important to show some mixed autistic and NT relationships as well, I looked into some of the comments on related videos to this show, and some viewers defended this because they thought that autistic people automatically can't consent to a relationship with an NT person, this misconception needs to be challenged.

[@artificialintelligence0101]

I respect your perspective but I don't agree. This show gave me a much better insight on the thought process and aspects of dating for those on the Spectrum. I have the utmost respect to you and those who live with autism. In fact this show made me more aware of the various levels of Autism and I left the show thinking that I would be open to dating someone with Autism.

[@Maria-up2yv]

we can't speak on behalf of autistic people we don't know even if we are autistic. the people featured in the show did have a fair bit of input. i agree with many things said but we shouldnt be saying what is or isnt normal on behalf of specific people we don't know. as someone who 'passes' sometimes as NT when i am masking, im in no position to talk on behalf of those who do not pass as NT. we all find different things hard. for these people its not 'just' a date. its something very hard, and very important for them too.

[@catmeeponies9325]

Hey thank you. I love that you put words to a lot of what I was feeling uncomfortable about when watching the show. I completed the series because I’m a sucker for dating shows. But I left with an uneasy feeling. It didn’t feel inspirational. It felt like the coaches, interviewers, director, the whole casting cast honestly were coming from this angle of “look at these weirdos apparently they want love too. 😮” I guess I never thought about autistic people that much. But not because I didn’t know autistic people existed. I know they are capable of dating. I just thought like Michal’s mom was taught. That autistic people don’t emote (have difficulty reading faces), don’t feel empathy, and really don’t like intimacy (due to all the sensory overload). I’m so glad this series proved me wrong on that aspect. I feel like without this show I would be so much more ignorant to the wide range of personalities and feelings autistic people truly have. So yes like you said the series isn’t perfect but I truly admired the confidence all cast guests exhibited despite that “neurotypical naritive” they were trying to push. I feel the show made me uncomfortable with all the high sensory dating locations, awkward pairing, and just a genuine disregard to paring the dates up based on their interests in the first place, or just giving them a chance to really talk (there were so many interruptions by waiters and staff I could make a drinking game, honestly 🙄). I truly hope all the show’s guests find love, they truly deserve it. They shouldn’t be outcast or disregarded for their identity.

[@snowfoxxie]

I'm sorry you don't feel like 'typical' people like autistic people :( I've always been curious to learn more about you guys. I really liked the show :) made me realize autistic people are basically the same! Just with different ways of expression and seeing the world. A few 'quirks' which we all have in our own way. I agree I wish they paired people up with some typical people. Thanks for giving your opinion. I liked your explanation of person-first language. Very interesting.

[@peachyevren5789]

I watched part of the video and a lot of the comments are really infantilizing/condescending in the form of a compliment? Idk that just made me feel weird

[@EreIGo]

Thank you for the “person first” lesson. As a person in education...we tend to be trained (in my experience) to do that with all subgroups. To emphasize humanity over all, I was taught. Using it at the beginning of my previous sentence, I actually removed myself from my occupation...a teacher. I could’ve just said I’m a teacher, but chose to emphasize that I’m a person first. That’s ok, that’s my choice, but to impose that on others without looking at the true impact of word choice isn’t right. And in my example, it’s just a job...not my identity. Big differences, thank you for raising my awareness.

[@NotAyFox]

I really don't care about dating shows, or reality shows in general, but I think this is very detailed and insightful analysis of the show's good and bad sides.

[@sarahg9628]

Loved hearing your perspective! From a neurotypical, I also noticed the super belittling soundtrack, so cringe 😖🤦

[@julierimer4544]

Long live Princess Aspien! You are both brilliant and adorable. I just finished watching all 5 episodes of "Love on the Spectrum" and your insights are so astute. Your analysis taught me so much. Thank you, Chloe.

[@dananitu2452]

It looked fake I am autist and I think they chose low functioning people for the teatrical effect. I don't know how to explain more, english is not my first language

[@ebonyhorton8236]

I agree with all these points, Girl how have I only just found your channel 😂👍😭 I wish I had a friend irl like you I could relate to lol 🥺💜

[@nanimuss7089]

Who likes loud machinery and people talking all at once??? (NT’s included)

[@danielleyoshihara2977]

The likes and dislikes in the intros reminded me of Amelie (which I love). I wonder if they did that on purpose?🤔

[@polygawn]

I have no idea if anyone has ever mentioned this to you before but I LOVE how FAST you talk in your videos it’s so great

[@elizabethhar3769]

I'm from Mexico, I'm a neurotypical and worked on a health care clinic for autistic children and they told us it was better to use person first language.... I wish I saw your videos earlier

[@fichicken1]

Totally agree with you. I am married to an autistic man and we have two autistic children . I look to them as to how to navigate these things. Something my husband raised was is why do they only show them dating other autistic people.

[@heathwilder]

That's a great point Fiona. My wife is neurotypical and we've been together for 15 years. I guess that they didn't want people to compare NT v ND if it didn't work out. Also dating is a bit easier if you both can skip the small talk ;) (jokes)

[@DJSHART69]

Yes Chloe, I definitely have gayness. That's totally how it works. (Btw, sarcasm, for people who have a hard time telling)

[@annika6081]

Have you reacted to the Netflix show Atypical yet?

[@aileenmarzanna]

Why are all the awesome aspie youtubers Australian... Like seriously, every single time I come across one they have this obvious Aussie accent...

[@Jukebox1412]

Try Joe Jamfrey.

[@evie_the_toon]

The cosplay con is one of the only bits I remember because the girl was cosplaying as Riko from Love Live!, which is one of my special interests ☺️

[@lyricswritinggirl]

Ur so beautiful 💖🥺

[@lyricswritinggirl]

@maypaki alam I hope everything will get better for all of you soon🥺 and I hope that when she wants children that she finds a way to do it💖

[@lyricswritinggirl]

@maypaki alam just don't lose hope and even if she can't... Try to make the best out of it💖

[@lyricswritinggirl]

@maypaki alam oh... well i still wish you and the ones you love all the best of luck!

[@jadekat6]

I think people that work in the disability sector use person first language it because that's what we are taught at Uni when doing our degree they push it a lot. So thank you so much for making it much clearer I will definitely bring this up at uni (when it is back) when they mention person first language I will say what about identity first language. Thanypu so much 🥰

[@ruthkoh8005]

Hi Chloe! Really interesting to hear your comments on using person-first language because as we're learning about it in school (I'm studying to become an Occupational Therapist) there is a HEAVY emphasis on using person-first language and not identity-first language! Publications that we're made to read also emphasize the need to use person-first language and it's become a point whereby we're corrected every time we use identity-first language.

[@syl59281]

Why are they so intense and so wrong? Who decided that was "the absolute right way" to say it

[@Snugs_does_life]

Hm.. I never thought bout the person first thing? We are literally taught in spec. Ed education to say: person with... To put the person before the diagnose? This might be why? Cause that's whats we've been taught. Like I also say I am a person with adhd, cause to me, it's not like the important part? Idk, I've got something to consider

[@mollytovxx4181]

Yeah I don't even know what I'd call myself.... an ADHDer? Haha.... well it's not something I feel I "am" it's just part of me. I would honestly find it uncomfortable for people to include ADHD as part of a description of me unless it was relevant (like there are so many other descriptors why hone in on that specifically). I can totally understand why some people prefer it the other way and I wouldn't refer to any one in a way they don't like if they tell me. It seems to be a matter of subjective interpretation so it's not like a hard and fast rule that everyone across all different communities are going to agree on. I think we can only try our best and change our language by request case by case. Otherwise I find myself going dizzy from inaction and worrying I've got it all mixed up. I think most people can tell if you have good intentions and if not... well you can only do your best and try to rectify things when it doesn't work out.

[@yodadback]

I was more confident when I was younger. Not everyone who is on the spectrum is more confident than most people. I have had a low self esteem throughout my childhood because I had a hard time making friends and people treated me differently in grade school because they knew I was different. That has translated into the present. My confidence is much better now but I still struggle with certain interactions.

[@emberdt7998]

adhd isn't a disease but we say "I have adhd". Not I "am" adhd.

[@dananitu2452]

What is the things with trains and autism? I remember a boy when growing up he knew the time table for all trains in the country.

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

Hello CHLOE I am 35 years old. And I am on the autism spectrum. I have pdd-nos. And I live in the United States of America. And I love your KZbin channel. And I subscribe to your KZbin channel.

[@kriw5658]

Did you put that grey filter on the clip to avoid copyright or something? It was hard to look at it, but I understand if that was the reason. Just noticed the image is also flipped, right? Anyways, I love this vid!

[@annielark6650]

I love that show so much and I feel it comforts me. I like it cos it feels like home...Some ' neurotypical people that love that show' might like it cos they relate on a deeper level cos we are all somewhere on the spectrum.

[@audih0e]

absolutely loved the video, you're a true gem. would love to make music with ya some time :)

[@rsmith4407]

I’m ADHD with a decent amount of crossover qualities/experiences shared with autistic people, but I don’t believe I myself am autistic - yet, I have the feeling of sibling-hood with autism and how it’s portrayed by NT media. It regularly makes me angry to see NT being unable to place themselves in the shoes of NDs and specifically autistic people. I’m genuinely disgusted by how ignorant they are to they judgments and their insistence that autism only presents like rainman/savant syndrome/no eye contact/stereotypical male traits and their inability to understand that this is pretty much the least common expression of autistic people in real life… particularly for women… It’s nice to discover your channel.

[@baxterbunch]

I binge watched this whole series when I was pregnant 18 months ago, I was surprised and actually quite liked it

[@mickydrew]

The autism spectrum is extremely broad... just because you feel this way doesn't mean others do

[@aussiefurbymogwaifan6621]

Probably because they don't release it and might have a fair bit of ableism to unpack themselves, as they might of been learning about autism from alltistics, instead of autistic people themselves. I saw an episode today and I found it kind of cringy - probably because I had already read about some of the ableism in it from other disabled people online way before I saw it

[@mickydrew]

@@aussiefurbymogwaifan6621 From actual people with autism :/

[@andyvan5692]

Yes, Chloe, I agree, we do have empathy, BUT this show is about the MOST intense social event in the life of all humans... LOVE, but, regrettably for most of us with Autism, our "social skills", and sensory tolerances to touch, "social distancing"- NOT the covid version, but 'our' interpretation of social spacing between people; and other issues, make it impossible/ impractical to ever find a friend, let alone a 'companion', as this show is demonstrating, and trying to show. This assumption is incorrect, not all of us are capable of 'love'- other than that which we show our parents/ siblings, so it is not good publicity, at least for most of us.

[@ToqTheWise]

The other issue with the inspiration porn thing is that it really sets low expectations for autistic people and I don’t think that’s right. Like as an autistic person, you should know how to manage your disability to where you can live a healthy and productive life. And if you need help in doing that, that’s a different conversation, but it’s like if you don’t praise an NT for making their bed in the morning, why are you praising us for the same thing. It just feels very patronizing, like because we’re autistic we shouldn’t have an expectations. Which isn’t right, what’s also not right is expecting us to be neurotypical because that’s simply not going to happen, it would be like expecting a fish to climb a tree but you can expect a fish to swim and feed itself.

[@pikapie2883]

I love this. The commentary was on point. 💕

[@tamarahansen9141]

Thanks for sharing you options on the show! I am not sure if someone else has mentioned it, but I am pretty sure the show was trying to go with the style of the French film "Amelie" with the 'quirky' likes/dislikes list as it introduced each person. I agree with you that because of the stereotypes it reinforced they are unnecessary and seem condescending, but if you haven't seen Amélie, it is a fantastic and sweet love story! Go watch it! ❤️

[@Mental-Autopsy]

About the whole wondering why people who work with disabled people often use person first language - (I'm autistic) I worked for the NDIA in Australia super briefly this year and they actually have a page of information on how to talk to autistic people in their call centers. And it specifically states that we had to use person first language even though it also acknowledged that most autistic people prefer disability first (even going so far as to go "but we prefer person first because it is important to remind people they are a person" EWWW. I think a lot of people in the health and educational sectors may do it specifically because they could be written up or be otherwise reprimanded for using disability first because it goes against the paperwork they have to follow by the rules of their employer/supervisors

[@Raven74408]

I feel so much more seen an heard in my relationship with a fellow autistic person than I ever did with an allistic person. Sure they could pair them up with neurotypical people, but I feel like that's just setting them up to feel alienated. I don't have any autistic friends who date allistic people for this very reason.

[@eleegee]

2:15 I know this video is old but I’d absolutely love a video about the puzzle piece symbol

[@dayanlfish]

Chloe you are wrong in that part, is a good job from both the parents and Michael. We are in a way who we want to be, but also it's influenced for the quality of life we have and it applies for all human beings. Any human being that grew up in an isolate environment, not much support from parents are in disadvantage with other that grew up having support, love, and inclusion on many environments.

[@blissfullyunaware4175]

Do you think that your life would have been different if you weren’t diagnosed? Are you glad you were? I’m asking for myself, because I’m scared about telling my therapist about it. But if it’s going to positively affect me, I’d really like to!

[@Dancestar1981]

Diagnosis is such a relief we already know we’re different it gives us a scientific explanation or a reason for why. Self awareness enables you to grow and cope better in life