Love On The Spectrum (Review By Autistic Person)

Netflix released Love on the Spectrum to an international audience this July, but what does an autistic person think about it?
An honest review by an autistic person can't be hard to find... surely? ;)
What did you think of Love on the Spectrum? Comment below
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[@YoSamdySam]

Be sure to complain about the reflection on my glasses right down here 👇

[@suzannax]

I didn't notice because I avoid eye contact even in videos 😅

[@YoSamdySam]

Haha yay!

[@reallifeanswers9764]

🤣🤣 It was no big deal.

[@ronnareese8354]

I have never heard of love on the spectrum which makes me think " why do we have to explain autism through a love story?" First it was big bang theory, second it was the good doctor, third it was atypical. So whenever autistic people say that neurotypicals need to learn to love and accept people on the spectrum. The writers first thought is "oh, you want a love story." No, idiot! It is like they took their creativity and through it in the trash. Do you get my point?

[@cemeterygates1713]

Suzanna x same! lol

[@rainboSnails]

auto-generated captions wrote "neurotypical gaze" as "neurotypical gays" and i honestly find that hilarious

[@hillarymcguire817]

.....i heard neurotypical gays at first and i just went with it

[@The_double_ewe]

Hillary McGuire I heard the same thing and was thinking wow that’s a strangely specified audience to promote a show.

[@stragmar]

@@hillarymcguire817 me too

[@puddlesplasher7]

I thought she really meant that... Oops... And I heard "The Deplorables" as "unemployables" or something and I only knew what she meant bc I watched it a few years back

[@That_Awkward_Mum]

Ha ha! Me too!

[@dracawyn]

I went back and forth between "is this representation or is this exploitation?" It was cute and I really liked most of the people but some if the framing and music choices made me wonder if they were being made fun of. At points, I got old-timey freakshow vibes.

[@harleyholst1647]

Mary Whipple ; I agree. There is a very fine line between representation and exploitation. I feel they needed to have more people on the spectrum interject in the editing and making overall of the show.

[@powerpuff4ever]

I feel the same way. Cute couples with genuine people but there were so many examples of displaced comedic framing and infantilizing interactions that made me uncomfortable.

[@ghostofmybrain]

I hated how they edited the dates. Like, "here's all the extremely awkward parts of the date, and only those moments" and then they ask how it went and they're like "Yeah, I think it went really well!" Why can't they edit the dates to show all the actually enjoyable parts?? It makes me feel like the only defining part of my character is how I can be awkward at times.

[@JD-ku3xt]

At first I liked it, until I realized they are just showing certain autistic people only . . .it's exploitation to make it seem like we aren't adults or functional. I would love a real documentary about adults on the spectrum talking about their experiences dating without even needing to date in front of us. THAT would be great.

[@MD-di7fi]

Maybe there can be a small group of older people on the spectrum who could share their life experience and give some advice to the cast.

[@hitsujikumasheepbear967]

Oh I like that!

[@rebeccarolnick1890]

Love that idea!!

[@haniyyahn]

I say Sam should volunteer her services as a consultant.

[@Keopro]

Very good point!

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

They should hire me. I'm almost 60 and was recently diagnosed as autistic. "Reality" shows are awful in my opinion. They seek to entertain nuerotypical / average people by scripting interpersonal conflicts and moral dilemas. The humiliation of participants is central to how they work. Everyone is infantalized and debased. There is no true humanity, no insight. Just cheap emotional manipulation of audiences and participants alike. When "reality" shows exploit egotistical narccissists, they become vulgar and distasteful. When they exploit vunerable, trusting people - like those with autism - they become evil.

[@allbymyshelf4125]

The reaction to the show has really made me uncomfortable. So many people have watched it, which is great, but because it's made for the neurotypical gaze I've heard a lot of "It's so inspiring", "What a heartwarming show!" and the vibe I get as well is that we are almost a spectacle for people who want to see how the 'mysterious' autistic person lives. I think the representation is so much better than a lot of things out there right now, but we still have a long way to go.

[@radixreuel7631]

Perhaps, but if we go that direction, couldn’t we can say that about every minority?

[@blaxalb5403]

Ngl I'd be interested in seeing a reality show made by an autistic person about neurotypicals for the autistic gaze

[@empowerment.artist]

blaxalb lol great idea!!

[@greydoe]

@@blaxalb5403 Wouldn't the audience be too small to maintain? Maybe a documentary instead of a season of shows?

[@AG-ej7wm]

As a neurotypical person, I felt quite ashamed about the condescending and patronizing way in which the show was made sometimes. From the childish music, to the close-up of ticks, and interviewing the parents as if they were talking about a child, rather than a grown-up. It really didn't do justice to the abilities of the featured candidates. But I still found it inspirational, because some of the featured people were so polite, well-spoken, funny and honest while dating. In some aspects, some of the candidates struggled, but in other aspects, they did better than me or than people I've dated.

[@TheOakleysworld]

As an autistic person who has been fortunate enough to have a fairly good dating experience overall, I completely agree on your takes about the coach. The most successful dates I've ever had with people who were identified (or suspected) autistic, involved meeting up at a comfortable/familiar setting. One of our homes for example. And I know to neurotypical people, that may sound absurd. But when unfamiliar and unpredictable surroundings can be the most stressful and traumatic aspect of your life, this can be a great option. The worst dates I've ever had were when meeting in bars. These were always uncomfortable, distressing and unproductive. Maybe I should be a dating coach for my fellow autists? xD

[@stuntslikeeveryday]

Yeah, why not?

[@pisscvre69]

Thats how i thought it was about LOL

[@vvelvettearss]

o gosh. can relate. I was invited out on a date a longggg time ago and I almost threw up from nerves I've never felt so scared. it was at a table at a coffee shop. I didn't enjoy myself. the second was in a pub, I hated it. I actually remember suggesting a walk in a field not caring about the weather. I think he hated it and I loved it lol. I sort of get dates now but the very word can fill me with dread so I don't date xD thanks for your input !

[@Space_Potat]

YESPLIZBE

[@nicolemoser7892]

I wouldn’t ever meet at someones house for the first date for safety reasons but otherwise I agree.

[@studionightshade]

I was neutral about the show. I did find certain parts patronizing and agree about the coach... She seems like a nice lady but isn't necessary. I'd like to see more autism people that aren't living at home represented. Some of us managed to get jobs, own homes, and struggled quietly before diagnosis for years. Dating as an autistic person still sucks, even if you manage to overcome the other obstacles that represent "adulthood" in the Western world. More diversity (other races, LBGTQ+) maybe get more feedback from autistic people on how to edit the show in a way that illuminates the characters instead of putting the spotlight on the awkward. We're all awkward. No need to make it the running theme.

[@brylaw]

I agree so much about representation of autistic folks that don't live with or heavily rely on families! I think it contributes to the masses assuming that autistic people aren't capable of leading lives that appear relatively average.

[@daivahataka]

I suspect part of the problem is that with an increasing % of young people living at home it's a common theme among those that are early enough in their dating careers to be open to an agency or coach as these shows use. Those living away from home due to college are probably dating there, those post college are probably dating coworkers or friends of friends, etc...

[@daivahataka]

There's also the possibility that only those living with their family were put forward for these shows by their families, those not did not apply themselves. 🤷‍♂️

[@JD-ku3xt]

YES! But they are adamant about showing us as "child-like" and not independent. We need a REAL documentary with only people over 35 called "Let's get Neurospicy" to show the true experiences of dating on the spectrum . . .not these weird dates they set up and manipulate. Also there's not a lot of us, so many of us date neurotypicals and they should show that.

[@MiroslavHundak]

I like that take : "Show where neurotypicals are gawking at autistics like they're zoo animals.". I don't want to believe that the show creators had that in mind, but in a way it felt as such. It wasn't an entirely bad representation of autism and I did enjoy watching the show, but there's a lot that can and should be improved for season 2. But I'm not holding my breath, since this show seems to be targeted at neurotypical audience. I don't believe it will ever have the same impact and honesty as, for example, Hannah Gadsby's "Nannette" and "Douglas" specials.

[@YoSamdySam]

I was encouraged that Amanda said they did consult as to how things could be improved for season 2.

[@masonnix9566]

@@YoSamdySam You are not autistic.

[@haniyyahn]

@@YoSamdySam Apparently Season 2 is already out in Australia. I have not been able to find it yet on US Netflix. Word on the street is that it's not much changed, unfortunately. Maybe they feel that they've found their successful and easy to produce formula and are therefore sticking with it.

[@haniyyahn]

As someone else said in a review, the David Attenborough (let's look at the animasl) voice-over didn't help.

[@viennadesou6546]

I feel like the entire dating premise IS trying to fit neurodiverse people into NT life. It seems like there is a very narrow mindset for how dating and relationships are meant to set off. That awkward "job interview" like introduction...there's got to be a better way around that. Not the show's fault but just my 2 cents.

[@lisedenmark]

Exactly! The NT rigidity about how dating is "supposed" to be would be hilarious - if it wasn't so damaging. And we are the rigid ones?!

[@haniyyahn]

@Vienna DeSou I think the set up is very much within the show's control. They were literally forcing some of the participants to sit and make eye contact and answer (often invasive) direct questions when they might have been better to talk to them as they went through their days or in a setting that would be more comfortable for them. And the dates weren't largely interest based, instead sticking most of the time to the classic date construction even in settings where the participants couldn't possibly have been comfortable. In terms of ease, then, the best done segments were probably with the people who were already coupled as they mostly followed them doing things they may have done together anyway.

[@karatepop]

The issue, for me, with the popularity of the show is the expansion from that. Michael has been SO popular - and NT people are fascinated with him, and are reducing autism to, once again, straight white male who likes trains. Further than that, though, are the interviews, which include his mother who repeatedly says there was "something wrong" with him and she says she wants him to mask, to fit in, or he won't get by. NOTHING about changing systems or advocating change, etc. Ugh. She's a nightmare.. I think Unemployables and the Undateables are HUGELY problematic.

[@justcallmejessz3712]

This is such an incredible point!

[@haniyyahn]

I actually found Undateables less cringey than Love On the Spectrum (LOS) -- maybe because there they use already existing dating services that the participants have chosen themselves, the settings are less staged and seem like they fit the people's interests and comfort zones more. On Undateables they also pair all sorts of people together and don't make the assumption that autistics have to date autistics. Plus, more time is spent learning about each participant (or it seems so anyway). With Jimmy and Sharnae on LOS, other than that they are a couple and Jimmy is great at pool, we don't learn much else about them as people. There is the same family-centered framing there, though, too -- though maybe that is tricky when someone does live with their parents and does require their support - it might be weird to leave them out of the frame altogether. Re Michael's mother: She and Michael have done the interview circuit and those clips are much harder to watch, because she does treat him like a child, answering for him and talking about him as if he were not there and is her patient. I do understand that understanding autistic agency can be hard for NTs if someone cannot live independently and if, as is usually the case, a person's abilities and challenges are uneven.

[@Beatmyguest001]

I actually really love Undateables and although feel it is very much for a NT audience, it is kind and shows a huge variety of people. I agree Michael’s mother is so frustrating…

[@psychedelictacos9118]

I love Michaels mum, I agree that it is a bit controversial to force an autistic child to forcefully restrict/inhibit their autistic behaviours as often autism leads to great achievements and personalities also. But she does have a point in a lot of ways that although I don't think autism is a disease in the sense that I believe that society would not be as advanced as it is today without autistic people at least not severely autistic people that are severely disabled and need intensive care 24/7 . However, there are definitely downsides to austism, although they can't help being autistic and doing autistic things it does make sense to work on reducing negative autistic traits such as working on ways to read people and not hijack conversation with your topics of interest always. Understandably it is difficult for autistics to control these behaviours. Also, I think Michaels mum might just be the hottest mum I have ever seen, she is beautiful inside and out!

[@Keopro]

I recently edited a NYE segment featuring Michael (made for ABC Kids but as one of many adult ABC regulars who were involved) and I definitely was conscious of the tone of my work to make sure it avoided any condescension. I was glad they chose me to edit it as, even though I'm not autistic, I have a neurological condition and have been paying close attention to videos such as this and Chloe's content. I tried to keep it as genuinely Michael as possible. Hopefully the focus on him leans away from anything condescending.

[@vegansauce685]

I believe Paul from Aspergers From The Inside is a relationship coach, and he also lives in Australia. Of course, I have no clue if he would be interested in taking on this commitment at the moment.

[@rebeccarolnick1890]

I was thinking of him too when she said that! I wonder if he'd be interested

[@ameliabarnish9135]

I did too!

[@soupstoreclothing]

not trying to discourse but has he ever apologized for wearing dreads

[@arasharfa]

The patronising tone seems to be the core definition of the NT gaze

[@TheWhitePhoenix1]

Incidentally the show that motivated me to look into my own autism diagnosis and ultimately led me here. Not perfect by any means but a stepping stone in the right direction. Also if it helps those of us in the generation that missed out on early detection then it's all the better.

[@weirdosnextdoor4039]

I feel the same way, and looking forward to season 2. Fingers crossed we get more inclusion and less looking at us like zoo animals. Focus on their personal journeys rather than the shock value of Autistic moments like stimming or getting confused or panic attacks.

[@patrickmcdonough7008]

Like it. Focus on their personal journey. Here is a book that helped me. www.amazon.ca/Contemplative-Therapy-Clients-Autism-Spectrum/dp/1785924079--neurotypical gaze--great phrase--Martin Buber has phrase called the Modern Look which tends to objectify and dissect.

[@racebiketuner]

Yup.

[@thevirtualjim]

"This is a show about autistic people? why would we WANT autistic people involved in running it? Why WOULDN'T we make it all about trying to make autistic people fit into an NT world? Why WOULDN'T we put so much focus on their NT families instead of the autistic people themselves. We HAVE to infantilize the autistic people, otherwise how could we make them out to be disabled otherwise?" - all the people who made nearly ever show about autistic people. Sure in this show I liked the autistic people themselves but as you pointed out everything else about the show sucked and i was very upset about iu. Also michael's family just laughs at him all thre time - i feel so bad for him and that young woman who has been convinced that her happy stim is really some unknown muscular diysfunction? I wish i could help them!

[@mariamatte1112]

OMG YES about michael, I felt reeeeaally bad watching his family laugh at him the whole time and get treated as a sweet familiy for that?!! WTF honestly I'm angry That phrase "every family should have a michael hahah" or something like that grrrrr >:(

[@alicegoldenvalley]

Oh I agree, laughing at Michael and saying : "other men don't have to think about stuff like that, we're just born with it." Like, my mouth dropped wide open, I found that quite shocking tbh. Some of the families I feel kinda didn't respect their own kids? :S I don't know if maybe they were behaving differently because there were camera's around ( sometimes people flap out BS when they have big camera's surrounding them). But yeah there was some weird stuff being said by family members and a lot of pressure being put on the people the show was about.

[@lara-pw9tj]

omg yes i could be wrong but it seemed pretty apparent to me that Michael was uncomfortable with the way his own family was laughing at him

[@Anonymous-df8it]

You had us in the first half ngl

[@diannepenny407]

I agree about the relationship coach: it was cringeworthy, watching her leaning in really close and eye-balling her poor 'student'!

[@daivahataka]

That would freak the s**t out of me before I got anywhere near a date! 😳

[@Claud_the_Tassie_woman_93]

I’ve had people approach me in that manner. It was quite offensive. I mean I’m a grown adult, not a kindergartener.

[@awkward567]

I wish there was more discussion about masking, and about differences in AFAB people, and about stimming, and about sensory things. Those are all going to play a role in people's relationships anyway, isn't it worth discussing?

[@laurakurkowski4413]

I have avoided watching this series primarily for the main concern that if it was patronizing, it would disappoint and upset me greatly. However, what put me off the most was the mainstream media embracing and focusing on the men in the show. I’m not seeing that same mainstream reaction about the women and it concerns me that society is more ok with autistic traits being exhibited by a man than they are with autism in women. (You’ve already eloquently addressed many times on your channel that autism in women is not recognized/understood at this point in time.)

[@paulrudd1063]

Do you think that there really is a lot of differences between autistic people based upon gender? Because I thought there was also a lot of overlap. I think the way that autism has been traditionally framed in the field of psychology is not very representative of autistic people in general. Of course there are gender-specific issues that need to be acknowledged as well. I just think that we are more united by our similarities than divided by our differences?

[@laurakurkowski4413]

@Paul Rudd: As a late in life diagnosed autistic woman: yes. Not being a trained professional in this area, I don’t think I am able to articulate it appropriately. But please check out the Spectrum Women channel (and book) and Yo Samdy Sam’s videos on masking in autistic women for some additional info that will give the details you’re interested in.

[@haniyyahn]

I assumed that there wasn't as much focus on the women in the show because they are more "passing" from an NT perspective. It would be really obvious to an NT in two seconds of meeting them that most of the men, with the exception of Thomas, are autistic (or as they would be more likely to say it that "something was wrong with him"). The women would fly under the radar and at most be classed as a little quirky -- which is one of the issues with diagnosis - missing girls and women because they present differently and mask. I also don't see the attention given to the men, especially Michael to be a positive or to be the right kind of attention. It feels instead like fetishization or exoticization. A lot of the NT comments are about how "cute" or "precious" he is, the way they might talk about a kitten or a teddy bear. So, I'm glad the women on the show have been spared that. Like @Yo Samdy Sam I would have preferred to have them craft the show from our perspectives and be telling a story that informs those viewers who are NT on the autistic experience.

[@MarkScheffer]

I agree with you, NT's producing a reality show about Autism for entertainment, contrived at best, not a fan of reality shows anyway. One could argue that this brings awareness to the mainstream, surely there are better ways to do this?

[@daivahataka]

I think the best show I ever saw on it was about a family where all 3 boys were on the spectrum and the middle one narrated the show. The sisters either were not on the spectrum or were undiagnosed. It was a one off documentary about 20 years ago so can't even remember the name of the family nevermind the documentary. 🙁

[@paulrudd1063]

Hi Sandy, I agreed with a lot of the comments you made about this show, although I think you were a little generous. I loved your comment about the neurotypical gaze. I started watching this show and found it patronising and exploitative. I couldn’t watch too much of it. One of my daughters and myself are diagnosed ASD and I would not want her to see this show as it would only reinforce her emerging sense of self as being rooted in her differences from ‘normal’ people. The idea of ‘normal’ is reinforced on a subliminal level when you are focusing on the atypical or ‘abnormal’. This is so difficult because I also want the general public to learn more about ASD and to be more inclusive of people who are ‘different’. If there was a show about Indigenous people and their specific problems dating, we would immediately recognise that as being exploitative. It’s about time our culture stopped looking around for the aberrant, with a kind of colonial male gaze, and just started accepting that most people, (if not all), when you scratch the surface, are pretty damned weird!! My daughter and I love your web channel. She binge watches it, especially when she’s feeling a little anxious. I am so glad that you make your content. It is so important for young people with Autism to have a positive and ‘real’ person with autism to look to and learn from. I also appreciate the academic rigour you being to your channel. Your university training is evident in the way you present your information. I think that we need a post degree course in Autism in every major university! Designed and auspiced of course by actual people with autism.

[@Dan_Chiron]

I think a great issue in cultural discourse in general (coming from medical research, even) is that autism is a condition that should be 'cured'. Hence, the representation we get is NT's coaching autistic people on how to be 'nomal', instead of ND's and NT's learning how to communicate with each other.

[@isabellaw8817]

I saw the show when it first premiered in Australia only a few months after getting my official diagnosis and I couldn't for the life of my put my finger on what bothered me about it other than the fact I hated the dating coach and the way she seemed to baby everyone. I agree they should definitely not just focus on setting up everyone with other autistic individuals, as if to say that we can't date outside our neurotype because we're "too awkward". I've been dating a neurotypical guy for two and a half years and I find it so helpful to have someone more "socially resilient" who can recognise when I'm getting overstimulated and point out social cues for me which I simply can't pick up on.

[@queenmotherbug]

I really appreciate that they showed happy and successful autistic couples on the show like Ruth and Thomas and Sharnae and Jimmy. It's absolutely possible for autistic people to find true love and be in a committed relationship. My partner and I have been together for 8 years and are still going strong. I was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum as an adult about 5 years ago, and he is likely autistic but has never been diagnosed. Sure there are challenges, but there are challenges in any relationship, whether you're neurotypical or autistic. It would be great to see a show focusing on autistic adults dealing with the ups and downs of a committed, long-term relationship or marriage.

[@JD-ku3xt]

I did appreciate them. I also related to the blonde woman who lived with her friend and didn't want to date a guy with a gun (good call). She was funny and I thought she represented how autistic people DO have a sense of humor, are independent but have struggles due to their disability and lack of accommodations and understanding from neurotypicals. We also tend to have a sense of justice and equality that fills us with anger when things aren't fair and balanced for everyone (which is always). I'd like to "relax' but I'm waiting for the world to start making sense (people to have equal rights and consequences . . .and gas SUVs to be banned for the environment) . . .common sense stuff that I don't understand why we haven't done yet.

[@justinevans6546]

I did not like it, felt forced and inauthentic,

[@Astharia]

Can you make a video on how neurodiverse people date? That sounds very interesting

[@YoSamdySam]

Hmm. For me it was disaster after disaster, then decided to go on holiday with a "friend" of mine, moved in together 3 months later, now together for 11 years. Dating was never really on my radar

[@HereComesPopoBawa]

As an ND person, I have little experience dating. I always thought it was a quaint and silly ritual.

[@daivahataka]

I think the fundamental problem is that, unless we engage in some sort of segregation, the neurotypical being "typical" means they are in the majority and even a lot of relationships with neurodiverse people in them would still be 50% NT so they kind of get to dictate the rituals somewhat. Democracy, the majority determines culture, etc....🤷‍♂️

[@Krista2882]

I'm halfway through the first episode and I just feel like they're making a spectacle of autistic people. I guess the good thing is that it shows that autistic people do date, are capable of finding life partners, and that we don't actually all fit into the stereotype. This is a good thing for allistic people to see, but I feel like it's also kind of like, "look how cute and awkward these people are."

[@hazanozturan3936]

Funny thing is: The show is the reason why I started to think I was on the spectrum. As a female, I did not now that my experience would have been different from all the male aspies and all I knew was male stereotypes which I didn’t fit in. But watching the show, something clicked. I find some part of my relationships, how I acted while I was dating, some of my very well hidden difficulties and stuff. I discovered your channel this way, and probably I’m not the only one. Overall, this makes the show quite important

[@Atalinay]

Neurological GAZE not Gays. Oops haha. That had peaked my interest for a second. For the gays you say?...

[@YoSamdySam]

Hahahaha oops. Someone remind me to check the autosubtitles!

[@gamehero6816]

Gay neurotypicals are fine, so lets focus on the straight ones for now.

[@garyfrancis5015]

You watch Princess Aspien review and she was ask to go on the show. She said no "unless Harry Styles is on the show".

[@hamonaflowers3899]

I enjoyed watching the show. But I totally agree with the points you raised! I am investigating my diagnosis on the spectrum and my psychologist spoke on the program, trying to assess me through how much I saw myself represented by the participants. And look ... I see myself represented in you! And yet, each person is a different person.

[@weirdosnextdoor4039]

I remember when I was discovering my own Autism, I found that I related way more with Yo Samdy Sam than I did with any Autistic people represented in TV shows or movies. KZbinrs like her helped me a lot to learn about and get my own diagnosis.

[@hamonaflowers3899]

@@weirdosnextdoor4039 Exactly! Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

[@Dwamak]

Reality shows are the modern equivalent of the old-timey freak shows. Their core audience love to feel superior from others and those shows primarily designed on this premise, to make feel superior their audience from the people they are not like them. In recent years that genre mutated into different yet similar form with "social awareness" badge on it. That is why those people who watched it find this show "cute". Infantilizing others make their NT audience feel superior and they succeed on their premise making the show "enjoyable". But It is sure a step forward from the "Rain Man".

[@alicegoldenvalley]

Well, I don't know about the core audience, I can only speak for myself, but I definitely don't feel superior to the cast members. I see all people as my equal. The cast members were going on more dates that me in a year :) I actually learned from them. But that's just me.

[@edwinamendelssohn5129]

That's an opinion. I don't feel superior to them. They are as varied as we all are. Some are very kind and sweet, some are a bit obnoxious, thru have a variety of interests, thru want companionship. I find it educational.

[@eleonore-8969]

My general thoughts on the show seem quite similar as the one u mentioned. Sort of enjoyable to watch (but too cringey at times), feels like the makers intented well and I appreciate that (even though there is much room for improvement in season 2). What I didn't appreciate was the approach of 'how to date more neurotypical-like and less autistic'. When will the world understand that this whole concept is humiliating and discriminating? This thinking pattern needs to change, it should not be us learning to do things 'the right way', we are not 'the wrong way'... Anyway, I liked the part where the girl had to leave the restaurant because she was overwhelmed and because it felt so forced (even though it hurted to watch, she shouldn't have ended up so stressed out, it clearly wasn't the right setting for her and I hope the crew learns from this). That part was super relatable to me, I could never date like that. Who said by the way that the typical example of a fancy date and moving the girl's chair etc necessarily applies to autistic people. Maybe not. I find it better to focus on the skills we do have and work more with our way of doing things. A neurodivers coach in season 2 sounds like a good plan! Nice video Sam x

[@Raritie1]

Eleonore - Hello Elonore, it's Amanda here from the show! I will say yes it was a very hard date & also cause the restaurant was closed to the rest of the public that night making the focus being on us two only. But I will let you know that it was Michael who organised this date, not the crew. I didn't know this until after I went home however. It turns out Michael has always had a liking for formal style events, it just wasn't for me. ☺️

[@eleonore-8969]

@@Raritie1 Hey Amanda! Thank u for your answer. I was wrong to just assume the crew organised the date and to conclude they didn't consider your preference. I take back my criticism on this one😊 I'm glad though the situation happened cause it was relatable. I don't function well in artificial situations and can withdraw when things don't feel authentic. Also now u explained that Michael did prefered the date like this, it's interesting to know! I guess the formal style feels good to some autistics because it's clear and structured, kind of a guideline? And maybe the more sensitive intuitive based autistic people struggle a lot with that form. It's an important part of the dating process that needs to be considered and handled extra carefully for autistics, because for example for me that formal structure would add a whole other level of stress and make me so uncomfortabel I could get blocked. Then the date would automatically fail for the wrong reason. I mean, it's important for neurotypical dates as well but less predominant cause they would probably not get this overwhelmed and might adapt to the situation more easily. While autistics could get stuck in the uncomfortable feelings and atmosphere. Loved seeing u on the show, must not have been easy but it's helpful and nice to see for people like me, thank u x

[@SkeindeerKnits]

Loved this video. Thank you, Sam! I'll admit I've avoided watching the show for fear of many of the things you mentioned. The "gawking" factor of making it for the neurotypical gaze, and the whole "aren't they sweet?" And my alarm bells truly went off when some very autism-ableist people I know said they liked the show. I wonder if the show focused at all on the safety of autistic females in a dating context, as that's often glossed over despite being so important.

[@toericabaker]

WHAM BAM THANK YOU SAM

[@gauntlettolife833]

Love your comment "Coach the neurotypical person how to communicate with an Autistic person" LOVE IT!!! You have some excellent points. I can't stand the words "Oh, they're so sweet" makes me want to barf .On laptop no emoji's ; ( You know what would be funny? Autistic people producing a show about neurotypical people! Ha ha ha !!! I did enjoy it but I have to agree about the stick figures ( especially with the guy who is a brilliant artist! ) but yes the infantilising & condescension was really horrible to hear. Zoo animals, yes! like we're there to be "studied & squeezed" into an idea that a neurotypical thinks best represents us. Asks the experts next time not bloomin neurotypicals who have no idea really regarding what it is to see & experience life as an Autistic person. If they do ask for consultations from Autistics then PAY them as you would any other person! This ticks me off because it seems that we are so often ripped off & only half the story is told .You hear comments like "oh, I learn the most off my clients" but dah they are paying you?!! That one really churns my butter!!! Great video Sam & love the background. I find stripes hard to look at so I just focused on what I found visually enjoyable. Noticed the reflection on your glasses. Soo funny that you said "be sure to complain ..." Only an Autistic person would really notice & I thought your preemptive strike was brilliant!" Great content Sam !!!

[@Keopro]

One thing I did note in the second season was how Kassandra as sort of an educator for the audience, being undiagnosed for years and I think also bringing attention to heteroflexibility in later episodes. There was an interesting part where she was discussing masking which really helped explain concepts that I have tried to explain as a person with hydrocephalus. From memory, I think they may have also noted the autistic people not necessarily needing to date autistic people part. I recently also edited a segment involving Michael for the ABC Kids New Year content (he was one of many ABC adults who were featured) and consciously tried to make sure my editing and music fit closer to the messages presented by you and Chloe.

[@grahamhurst6212]

Watched it, liked it but was also upset by the experience

[@AnnieIce123]

Couldn’t agree more with all your comments!!! 👌 I have been trying to explain this to my neurotypical friends. It’s a struggle as they don’t understand ASD let alone how this show can be seen as condescending and infantilising. It just sits wrong with me and doesn’t go toward the much needed educating that most people need on ASD, rather than the over stereotyped characters like rain man, the accountant and Sheldon cooper. I hope season 2 is much better and takes on all your recommendations 🙏

[@sandrafeliciano9105]

Hi Sam! Interesting video and I also hope the producers and directors watch it. I generally agree with the points you raised - both positive and negative. Plus, what I mostly missed in the show was a representation of the more subtile Aspies. Those that pass easily in society for years and years as neurotypical, often non diagnosed untill adulthood. It would be nice to create awareness in the population for this invisible subtype.

[@reallifeanswers9764]

I'm married to a bipolar person. They could do that too.

[@catz537]

I'm autistic and my boyfriend is bipolar. We've been together 8 years

[@francescoleman-williams911]

I’m married to someone with ADHD, we often reflect on why it works so well. We’re not the same but there’s just a shared understanding!

[@jedigirl2785]

You are onto something in regards to POC being represented. Being a black female on the spectrum, I'd love to see more people that look, and think the way I do. One year at a time I guess.

[@Creddiam]

I actually thought you were saying neurotypical gays instead of gaze.

[@mercurialthrills9011]

Same.

[@cd4536]

I thought that at first then I realized it was Gaze. Then I though hmm gays probably would be too far off. Reality dating shows tend to attract gay men.

[@mic6074]

Yeah and it took me awhile realize it was gaze xP

[@berdooli3326]

I'm an aspie and I wouldn't mind wanting to date a NT. Am I bad for saying that? I just don't click with other aspies when it comes to dating, especially not aspie men.

[@ladyjaneoftheearlgreyteatribe]

Same here. I prefer NT men

[@BGBTech]

As an aspie male, it makes me wonder, as I seem mostly unable to relate to NT females much at all. It does seem though that I can at least sort-of relate to ADHD females, though there still tends to not really be much of anything in common in terms of interests, and those with any common interests tend to be mostly not interested. Can note though that my "dating life" is basically non-existent...

[@berdooli3326]

Brendan Bohannon thank you for sharing. Frankly it can be hard to relate to anyone at times. My dating life is nonexistent as well so I just do hookups instead

[@BGBTech]

@@berdooli3326 I don't do hookups either. To me, these seem kinda pointless, and admittedly I am not particularly interested in the "physical" aspect (kinda wanted kids and similar, but otherwise not particularly interested).

[@berdooli3326]

Brendan Bohannon yeah they don’t turn out well cuz I really don’t like the physical parts of a relationship myself. I found I don’t even enjoy kissing. I do want kids someday so I’ll need to work through those issues if I want that to happen

[@pw510577w]

Why the emphasis on being like neurotypicals? There's actually nothing wrong with not being in a relationship. Why push yourself to try and be someone that you're not, in order to meet societal expectations of what is normal? How does someone on the spectrum understand consent, when they're already doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable?

[@HereComesPopoBawa]

I understand consent in terms of ethics. Straight-up negotiation of what our respective rights and responsibilities to each other are. When it's based upon protocol and explicit communication, other autists find that clear, in my experience. Sometimes significantly _more clear_ than the popular NT "make faces at each other and guess" method. How we feel is usually more or less automatic, which is why consent focuses more upon actions.

[@haniyyahn]

That issue - societal expectations probably does need to be addressed though -- because they are there for everyone. Sharnae and Jimmy sat for two hours in the cinema holding hands even though it didn't feel right and hurt because they thought that's what you do on a date and later found what was right for them. It would be nice to have the show affirm that as really being ND is about finding what's right for you and right in your particular relationships, I'd say.

[@irisl7817]

I haven't watched the show. It has intrigued me for a while. After hearing your opinions on it ,it sounds like it would be very awkward to watch and might bring up unwanted memories of my own past dating experiences....before I learned/ realised that I was on the spectrum. On the other hand, it could also hold up some kind of flashlight on my own experience as well? I'm still on the fence.

[@Respectable_Username]

When they were doing the casting for this show, they sent an email to our student society (I was one of the organisers with access to the inbox) asking if anyone wanted to be in the show. We ignored the email because, to be frank, the whole concept seemed to objectify and belittle autistic people. I don't have access to the emails any more, but it felt like they were asking if you wanted to date somebody because they were autistic, rather than because they're an awesome human who happens to also be autistic. Rubbed me the wrong way, especially with presumptions with sending it to a tech society

[@criticalmaz1609]

So what they meant when they said things Chloe "loves" and "hates" is what I would think of as my stressors and soothers...? Do other people think of them this way? 🤔

[@hukhh3145]

I noticed that NT people watched it really differently than me. I thought it was cute, funny and really really awkward. At no point did I feel "inspired" like so many NTs. Ive never watched a show that centred ND people in this way though, rather than their parents etc. I really liked that

[@hannasophia18]

I haven't seen the show, but it did strike me as odd that the autistic people only dated autistic people. My boyfriend has autism and I don't. It's just weird to think autistic people could/would only date autistic people.

[@edwinamendelssohn5129]

Not all dates were autistic

[@richardwatkins6725]

forget the glasses reflecting, the backdrop is really psychedelic.......

[@emilymarie9796]

Edit: to clarify, I have only seen a few episodes of season 2. not season 1. I have ADHD and a lot of sensory issues but not diagnosed autistic. I have really enjoyed the show and it felt really refreshing because I can relate to a lot of the participants. However, I'm really glad I decided to come see your review because your points are fantastic and constructive criticism is so important! To me, the "so and so likes ___ and dislikes ___" came off as cutesy rather than patronizing, but I forgot that the rest of the world doesn't necessarily understand and relate to sensory issues so I can see how it's problematic. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this; hopefully the creators of the show are receptive to the feedback :)

[@pinkmagicali]

I’m pretty sure I saw one of the girls in a Sydney Daiso and totally freaked out. I chickened out asking for an autograph, I was so blown away with them all being so open and brave. I couldn’t do something that personal. I also would love to be friends with one of the other girls, she seemed cool.

[@MicahBuzanANIMATION]

I strongly disagree with the comments saying the show makes a spectacle of autistic people or is catering to some "NT gaze". The show emphasized that everyone on the spectrum is unique and has their own challenges and qualities, and interviews of the participants of Love On The Spectrum say they felt they were properly represented as the individuals they are. It was filmed by a small crew of just a couple camera operators. Yes, many parts are funny, heartwarming, sad, and inspiring - which is how life is. Of course it had to be edited to tell a concise narrative and be entertaining. But being offended by the show kind of overlooks how beneficial this show has been, in not only raising awareness to the general public about autism, but giving legitimately good dating advice for people in general. I've learned a lot and feel so much more compassion for people and want to try to understand people better. And in case anyone is wondering I've never been diagnosed with autism, though probably because I was never assessed. I strongly relate to ASD in that I didn't speak until I was 3, have obsessive interests, and find social life a big puzzle that causes stress. In short, I would just hope people don't view this show as pure good or pure bad - it can improve, but let's be patient with those involved in making a show they wanted to help make the world a better more understanding place.

[@kythrathesuntamer9715]

The primary reason I hate thunderstorms is the threat to electronics.... to be honest I like the rain, the noise doesn't bother me, rain hitting our roof is soothing.... It's just I don't want to have to shut everything down and unplug.

[@jennys9043]

Love on the spectrum got the gears turning in my head about my own autism and now I have an autism evaluation scheduled for November! I’m glad you’re giving some criticism for it though. Representation is good but we need to keep demanding better representation for autistics (as we should for every minority group). Kind of silly that there’s so little gender diversity despite the fact that the autistic community is more gender diverse than the NT community. Also thank you for pointing that out about Jody. I felt like something was off about her being there but I couldn’t put a finger on it. She kind of babied some of the participants. I don’t understand how autism specialists can justify talking to autistic people in a different voice than they use for NTs and I think she did that.

[@caraziegel7652]

Oh, i love that point about the coach. She was not only neurotypical-focused but also just super conservative - having someone pull out my chair would really annoy me. I think that some of the young people still needed a lot of basic communication skill help, though.

[@Towandakit]

Clicked on this within moments and then watched til I realized I still wanna watch the show you talk about. Cut to just now, realizing I’d still like to say I am super excited for the Autism Explained conference! I’m moving into my new place next week but I’m looking forward to doing as much as I can!!!! ☺️☺️☺️

[@katherineseager3363]

Great video ☺️ You pretty much summed up all of my thoughts and feelings about the series.

I got so focused on your hair that I couldn’t hear what you said! I love its color, length, thickness! It’s beautiful!! 😍

[@celinavogensen1355]

Definitely agree with the neurotypical gaze and lack of diversity. The coach suggestions were cringy in my opinion and also cisnormative.

[@DeLaSoul246]

Hard agree on the coach. That irritated me SO MUCH. It was like they were purposely setting them up to fail giving them that kind of instruction 🤦

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Is it just me or was the whole TV show really awkward to watch?

[@YoSamdySam]

I felt like it was edited to emphasise the awkwardness. Having said that I also think the show was orchestrated in a way that also emphasised awkwardness.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

@@YoSamdySam you might be right there. I just find awkward scenes in films/TV shows really difficult to watch. I started watching it and couldn't finish it for that reason.

[@neddoesdev]

I watched love on the spectrum season one when it aired first and told my wife I found a lot of the cast relatable. She laughed and told me that I'm not neurodivergent. Fast forward to last October and I was diagnosed as ADHD, and now I'm considering persuing an ASD diagnosis too

[@AnnaMWatch]

All the criticisms you've given are exactly why I don't trust shows like this. I don't tend to watch dating shows in the first place (so it's not like I would have watched this anyway), but whenever I hear about a show that centers around autistic people, a million red flags pop up. I so desperately want some good autistic representation in media, but I've never found it. One of my goals as a creator is to one day write a female autistic character who is just... a normal person with a normal job, no "genius" or anything, who happens to have some quirks and struggles with sensory stuff/communication/executive function/etc, but that's 100% not the focus of the content. I want to see an autistic character who just... is. No jokes about them, nothing at their expense, nothing telling the audience "oh, look at how weird this person is," just a person with a personality. Autistic traits will never be normalized until they can be presented as normal in media.

[@Slaughttermelon]

As a neurotypical watching this show, I agreed on literally all of your points. There were times where I felt bad for the participants because it felt like the producers were embarrassing them. While an interesting idea, I felt like there were a lot of issues as you mentioned. I think my biggest pet peeve was the likes/dislikes portion because I fully expected them to talk about overstimulation and anxiety... There was also only one person who stimmed, which was the girl who bounced and flapped her hands... literally no other participant did which is interesting considering the commonality of stimming. Most participants were also aspies, which makes it seem not as diverse. I also felt like interactions were very forced between participants because everyone acted so awkward, and not everyone on the asd spectrum is that awkward. I also don't think Kevin was really ready for the dating world yet, and it felt like he was being thrown to the wolves with that girl who brought her Nintendo switch to the date (Who was rude to him). I do look forward to season 2 though and hope some things are smoothed out.

[@alicegoldenvalley]

I don't necessarily think that she was trying to be rude, she just had her own things that she liked and her own personality. It just wasn't a match.

[@Slaughttermelon]

@@alicegoldenvalley True, but I was referring to how she talked about him afterwards. Like he clearly is not able to communicate how he feels and I think it created a barrier for her.

[@drobinson-uo7ic]

Thank you for sharing. I am neurotypical and work with autistic and neurotypical students in a middle school and I enjoy it very much. You are very articulate and I found your video really helpful for me trying to be an "ally" or advocate for my students, and for them to be advocates for themselves. I have a a lot to learn and room to grow.

[@Pompazour]

I wish more people were aware of comorbidities like deafness. I’m an adult female seeking an autism diagnosis, but I am also deaf in one ear. The reason they found out I was deaf was because in school I wasn’t responding to my name, and that had always been a problem for me, even in a quieter setting like at home. My deafness does cause some complications since I can’t hear at all on one side but I can still hear almost normally. And since I am deaf they found that first and did no further screening for anything else, which is so upsetting because I could have been diagnosed with autism at a very young age and would have had so many resources and opportunities available to me.

[@alicegoldenvalley]

I hope you will get properly diagnosed soon so that you can get the resources that you need. Sending you my best

[@cedaniel]

I too had mixed feelings about the show. I enjoyed getting to know the cast members and was interested in how they got on, I felt engaged by them and interested in their journies. But my negatives were similar to yours. I think the only extra negative I had was that it seemed the producers were hoping for a happy ending i.e. that a new relationship would form from at least one of the pairings, and it felt like Jimmy and Sharnae were kept to the last episode so that the series could have a happy ending as a new relationship wasn’t formed from other cast members. I too was irritated by the ‘ahhhh aren’t they cute’ tone and would like to see ND/NT pairings. And the relationship counsellor seemed too focused on making them seem NT, on just coaching them through the early stages of a first date and also she didn’t seem to realise their dates would be ND too. I also found Michael’s date in the fancy restaurant hard to watch, his date was so overwhelmed and anxious by the situation, it made me wonder whose idea it was to take her there.

[@liza7459]

These are very good points. The part where they say what people like and don’t like I automatically understood was related to sensory stuff. Also wasn’t the coaching necessary for when the participants wanted to connect with others but didn’t know how to reach out? Like I had to learn all that by myself, coaching would’ve been nice 😅

[@lyratsura2243]

Heya! I recently discovered your channel and I'm finding it super interesting, it's actually inspired me to start searching for an assessment centre cause I've been suspecting I'm on the spectrum for a couple of years now. Would you consider making a video about kinda a school survival guide, especially for uni and exam periods?

[@YoSamdySam]

I'm not sure whether I have any good tips as I went to a somewhat atypical school, but I'll definitely think about it. I do have a video about my experience at uni though.

[@lyratsura2243]

@@YoSamdySam thanks for the honesty re tips XD and I'll look forward to the uni video c:

[@bowers8242]

Good review. Similarly, I liked seeing autistic people on TV and it was comforting/made me feel a bit less alone in my experiences. But it's a great point to make that they'd do better by having more autistic people involved in the show's production team. Cheers!

[@Leena79]

I tried to watch this when it first aired on Netflix, but I wasn't able to finish even the first episode. I may need to try again, now that you said it isn't all bad. For the little I watched, I think it was the patronising way the participants were treated that rubbed me the wrong way. I've never watched any neurotypical dating shows, either, so I have little to compare to, but I was quite irritated with the whole quirky, cute attitude of it all. And the family stuff (although I admit having sometimes thought that finding a partner would be so much easier if someone else did it for me 😂). But despite my own inability to watch the show, I did suggest it to my parents (who probably haven't watched it), because it seemed like a fairly easy entry-level course on autism spectrum. There is very little more recent info available in my language, as my country follows behind the English speaking world on autism stuff, and this show has subtitles. Instead of a show like this, I'd much rather have someone autistic tell me about how they found a partner. I've watched some videos on YT of lectures by Sarah Hendrickx, and her advice and stories are way better than an overly simplified reality show like this. So, if there is goung to be a season 2 of Love on the Spectrum, they should ask Sarah as a relationship consultant, if, of course, they don't ask Yo Samdy Sam 😀. Also, I didn't really mind the reflections, but my eyes are sensitive to bright lights today, and I opted to just listen to your video because the overall screen was a bit too bright. 💗

[@haniyyahn]

Maybe @Yo Samdy Sam could start a partner tag where autistic and other neurodiverse folks talk about their relationships and how they met their partner and or their relationship experiences. I think we may be waiting a long time otherwise for mainstream shows to really deal with our lives as we'd like.

[@jamessorensen3447]

The dating coach specialized in working with Autistic people. I actually learned quite a bit about how to interact with someone you might want to date and I'm 64.

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

I'm betting they recruited at SupaNova which is that big convention in Australia that is so well known even I've heard of it here in California. And yeah, you're right about getting a certain type of person from such a specific niche of people who would even attend such an event.

[@commonwisdom5333]

you might be asking for to much. the simple recognition is super great. it has to get a lot of neurotypical viewers to be popular and start a trend. the part about their parents can be reflective and help autistic people to grow by seeing other family behaviors even if we don't like some of those parents. we should meet neurotypical's half way. the best they can do is understand. what needs to be understood is the growth we are capable of and that certain stereo types are not always common.

[@Lordvoivod]

I've been in a relationship in since I was 22. I started dating again at 40. I've found all the advice I got from neurotypical people to actually corrode my confidence and I ended up not even having fun anymore. It all sounded vague or counter intuitive, like tricks, acting or deception. It actually took me a while to bounce back from all that advice. There's advice to be given, but none of it came from well meaning neurotypical friends.

[@Respectable_Username]

For the living at home thing; how old were the people in the show? It's quite normal in Australia to live with your parents until your mid-twenties, with many young people from all different backgrounds not moving out until they've saved enough to actually buy property. That particular aspect might just be a cultural difference.

[@rOmpism]

I had a lot of the same issues. Similarly on diversity, I’d to see more representation of different traits! I feel that TV and movies just make a bee-like for people who struggle with communication only, and you’re right, that is purely for NT entertainment. On a positive, the show brought me to happy tears in S2, and sparked a level of empathy I never knew I had!

[@SuperMissblueeyes]

I didn't see the show & I'm not on the autism spectrum, but I volunteer with & grew up with people on the spectrum & I totally agree with you view on them being infantilised. I do find it so difficult to find suitable craft resources for the group I volunteer with at Church. For example, I don't want to just give them a colouring sheet to give them a craft with a suitable picture for their age. We're doing the Bible story of Daniel in the Lion's Den in a few weeks & since they enjoyed a whale craft I did a couple of months back, I wanted something similar with a lion head. But all the craft templates are really childish. They're adults, I wouldn't want to be treated like a child if I were them, so I'm not gonna treat them like a child! Yes, they struggle to take in information on an adult level, but they're grown up enough to deserve to be treated like any other adult. They have slightly different needs, but they're not children & they're not stupid. It's so difficult trying to find suitable things in a world governed by neurotypical people. I don't want to just print out 10 colouring sheets & say "there you go", they deserve a more adult version of a proper craft. It's so frustrating. It must be even worse for them.

[@lydiajude8017]

I had never heard of this show. I watched the first episode and I enjoyed it so far. I agree with most of your commentary on it, especially your criticism of the relationship coach. When she told Adam to hold eye contact with his date, I was like, oh, that would make me and most of my autistic friends a bit uncomfortable. That seemed like she was projecting neurotypical dating standards on him.

[@EricMeatlikeaking]

I think it is good to share our experiences to help other people

[@amber3574]

I agree with you Sam! I especially agree with the part about the coaches and the part about families.

[@garyfrancis5015]

It would to get you and Princess Aspien to Colab. But Chloe doesn't Colab also the same thing with Aspergers from the inside the time zone in Australia.

[@terrariumelio974]

Great video and you raise good points. The point about ditching the "dating coach" is a good one. They should get a more appropriate coach. However, the point about not showing the family I kind of disagree with you. The show is meant for a wide audience and showing the family helps people relate to the show and contextualizes living with an autistic child. As a father I liked to see the family interaction and the love the parents have for their children. They love them not because they are autistic but rather because they are they're children. It's comforting to see loving families on television whether they have an autistic child or not. Its not something we see often. What I love about the show is the fact that the cast members are guileless. They speak from the heart, honestly and with sincerity. These are qualities I try to live by, that quite honestly are dying in modern day society, but that come very easily to them. So no I don't like the show because they are cute. I love the show because they are real. I'm surrounded with phonies that always seem to want to get the upper hand on me. My honesty is often used against. This makes it difficult to stay honest, but I tried hard to. I say this without any condescension, God put these people on earth to make us realize what life is truly about. Caring, honestly, and wonderment. Excellent video. Keep up the great work and thank you very much for opening my eyes wider on the subject of autism.

[@kaleygoode1681]

Saw this then started watching the show. Both the parents, coach and individuals appear to maximise the anxiety of dating even before having a date in front of a TV crew! Dating Advice offered: [I'm autistic, have had many dates and have been married for 25 years] So, for anyone starting dating: just go, be yourself and don't expect it to work out: just spend some time together and see if it's fun. Expect dozens of failures while you practice and get used to meeting strangers! Expect the worst, hope for the best and take what comes. Fail early, fail often, learn from each failure. Like you may collect toys, you can start collecting ways to help other people feel engaged and involved on a date but really it's not about mastering dating, it's about meeting enough people that the chances of compatibility rise. And just because you've met someone compatible doesn't mean you have to totally invest in that person (that might be overwhelming) meet several compatible people if you can. Dating is building a map of connections; each connection having a different strength. Enjoy collecting a map and sending the connections. Good luck! ❤️

[@Keopro]

When you were mentioned the employment show, I thought you meant Employable Me which also aired on ABC/iview over here. That one was quite interesting too and is helpful for someone like me who is disabled but wasn't really part of the many disability communities til after I was became an adult.

[@westernpigeon]

i recently finished the show and i could see how some people might not like it. i personally enjoyed it and it taught me a lot about people with ASD that i was absolutely oblivious and ignorant of. i hope they do more seasons.

[@Raritie1]

Olivia & I are both bisexual & mentioned it to the crew but it wasn't mentioned & we only got set up with boys but I suppose it depends on who else had applied to be on the show I was told it was a few hundred I think. I agree with Jodi, if I was offered coaching I would have declined & I am someone who likes independence so I didn't really want my family too involved. I live alone so they don't know absolutely everything about my daily dating life. It's nice to see Maddies parents are excited & all but I would have hated my parents acting the way they did.

[@Phantomhive20]

Hey there Amanda! It’s really an honor to see you replying to comments! I have a few questions for you if you don’t mind me asking. Are you and Michael are still in contact and have you seen his podcast interview on No filter with his mom? If so what do think of it?

[@Raritie1]

@@Phantomhive20 Hey so no we don't really keep in touch.

[@Phantomhive20]

@@Raritie1 Aw that’s a bummer. I thought you guys would at least be friends afterwards. But yeah it made me feel sad for him after watching the podcast of him and his mom since she wants him to be as normal as possible and to mask in order to fit in.

[@Raritie1]

@@Phantomhive20 Yea I saw the podcast & the fact they think he should be with someone neurotypical rather than autistic or any disability for that matter was a bit of an oooft.

[@Phantomhive20]

@@Raritie1 I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks so. His mom was actually responding to comments whether it’s being praised for raising her son or gets defensive when getting called out. I have to say it was quite a shitshow

[@empowerment.artist]

Dont apologize! This review is great, you articulate SO well exactly what I thought too. I would like to add that I missed representation of more adult diagnosed autistics in the show. Sometimes we dont have problems getting friends, just problems finding the right ones, and putting up healthy boundaries. One reason is bc we are conditioned to be like NTs, and when we are masking constantly its hard to find authentic friends and partners (read: virtually impossible..) And dinner dates...sitting opposite each other to stare in each others eyes...a nightmare! Autistic dating needs to be something we enjoy in the first place.

[@cristinagonzalez6591]

I've seen Love on the spectrum, twice. I think they have been very respectful and this program is educating many people on autism. Of course they could have done it better, but many people is watching it, understanding things about to be on the spectrum and realizing that if you are on the spectrum you want to have love, a couple and you have to date as everybody does. By the way, How do autistic people date? Would you mind explaining it to me? I'm autistic and never had a date with other person on the spectrum. Is there anything I have to know?

[@cydneyroy1969]

I am so grateful for your videos. They have helped me a lot. But is there any way you could use a different backdrop? I am very sensitive to certain colors (especially bright ones) and I can't really watch your videos with this background. I have to scroll away or put my phone down so I can just listen. No worries if it is too much of a hassle though. I'll keep listening lol

[@YoSamdySam]

It's a new setup so I will be experimenting with some different lighting and camera settings to try and tone down the colours a bit because a couple of people have mentioned this. It's been mentioned enough that I'm aware it needs adjusting (unfortunately we are currently redecorating out bedroom so it's not possible to film in there for now). Thanks for your feedback.

[@corrierou7768]

I love that they actually took your advice for season 2! I personally loved both seasons except for the fact that they didn't pay the cast,(I heard anyways).

[@jaykay030]

Absolutely agree with your takes. I do think it's good to have a coach but it should be one in the spectrum. Because there are people who might just info dump and not let the other person speak at all which can br frustrating for that person, especially if they're not good at mentioning that it's frustrating for them or smth, at least I'd probably just be spoken to and get too overwhelmed to get a word in.

[@cydneyroy1969]

omg you interviewed them! love

[@MoonbearStartiger]

My issues align with yours regarding the presentation - I also felt like (and I told my girlfriend this while we watched it as we're both on the spectrum) it was framing love and dating through a neurotypical and traditional lens, like "Oh, I am going to call the woman and ask if she would like to go to this stereotypically "romantic" thing even if it doesn't align with my authentic interests because this is what dating is". And I said to my girlfriend, "why are they being taught how to go on a date? Wouldn't it be better if they DE-masked and went about dating however they felt was authentic, especially when BOTH partners are Autistic? They could discover their own ways of communicating and relating to one another without forcing small talk, which a lot of Spectrum-leaning folks do not like to do. I feel like they could have structured things so that the means of dating/what dating looked like would be more appropriate for each individual - say if one person wants to have the date at their house and engage in hobbies, etc. Forcing neurotypical "dating standards" probably added unnecessary stress to some of the less-socially inclined people on the cast, and I think they could've tailored things more to the ND mind rather than trying to teach Neurotypical dating habits.

[@garyfrancis5015]

ABC Australia (thanks to someone in Princess Aspien comments picking that up) original showed it in 2019. And then they re show it to netflicks. So it will probably 2022 by the time netflick will show the next series. Depending on COVID filming in Australia.

[@tiiaj7589]

So, I dated one person for 2 years (long distance) And have now been married to him for 20 years. He is not autistic and has been an amazing husband and father, despite all the challenges. Also, I am getting my assessment started this Monday!!! I’m quite nervous, but also, the place doing it hire all ASD or adhd employees so I am hoping very hard that will make up for having to do it virtually. Also, if they come back with a “NO, not autism.” I will be much more sure that the diagnosis is accurate. Also, haven’t seen this show, not particularly into dating shows as a rule, they always are so staged and seem to be more of a hook up thing then actually trying to find a spouse, so I can’t say what I think of this one in particular.

[@michaelseitz8938]

Oh damn, they must have seen your video ... and decided to do the exact opposite of what you suggested for season 2. I found season 1 somewhat interesting, but season 2 ... felt like they intended to make a freak show ...the way they presented the participants, the situations they were put in (like, speed dating, wtf?!), that quirky/comedic background music, the shaky camera, the cuts, the "cliff hangers" at the end of episodes.... And then there is the question: Are people who agree to being filmed while dating good example of the group they represent in this "documentary"? This series is entertainment for neurotypicals, not a window into the autistic world 🙁

[@MrsKoala-wd7ct]

Hi, i have a serious question (i am neurotypical): how can we (neurotypicals) learn better about how life feels like for you (on the spectrum) and to be more understanding, but without that Neurotypical gaze you have been mentioning? If I wanna make „my world“ better for you, i need to learn how it is bad for you. And i am not sure it is possible to teach us without that gaze... or maybe i don’t really understand what the gaze means. But i think the show did show me/teach me that for me... to an extent. I’d love to learn more, because frankly I fell in love with each castmember in the show and if i could make their life (or people like them) easier, id really love to!

[@kellyschoenherr-gram1055]

my problem with the show is that most if not all of them seemed developmentally behind. There was no reflection or representation about the gifted smarty pants or that many ASD people are almost undetectable.