Sobriety for Beginners, Step 9.Making Amends

Рет қаралды 7,684

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 53

@ilikenachosify Жыл бұрын

Great message; I spent almost 30 years not doing a proper 8th and 9th …. I started cracking up at work from years of being quietly haunted by shameful memories. Secrets . I thought I needed to “go away”. Instead, I did the steps all over again, with a new bossy sponsor ! Doing much better by Gods Grace

@AnAlcoholFreeLife Жыл бұрын

Try and forgive yourself :) I did something in my drinking life that haunted me for years, too. You are not alone ,one day at a time .

@PlurLogic 11 ай бұрын

Speaking of, I'm currently at a house, cleaning in my old stomping grounds. Bringing up sooo much stuff that I've had buried for almost 30yrs now. I'm begging God for forgiveness and asking him to throw into the sea of forgetfulness. My question is, do I make amends to everyone of these ppl or to God??!! There's sooo many ppl. It would take mee forever. Idek where all of these ppl are, or if their even still alive.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 11 ай бұрын

@PlurLogic Do have a sponsor ? Slow down you are getting overwhelmed .I had the same problems with step 9 as your having .

@PlurLogic 11 ай бұрын

@AnAlcoholFreeLife no, I'm 13yrs sober. No desire to ever drink or do drugs again.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 11 ай бұрын

@@PlurLogic Do you have someone you can go over your step eight and work out how to move forward with step 9

@marymcquillan6417 Жыл бұрын

My ex partner who has an alcohol dependency was verbally, emotionally and on our last night together, was physically abusive towards me. I understand you maybe not wanting to reach out to your ex as she’s maybe heard the ‘I’m sorry’ all before but trust me, it won’t hurt to write it down in a letter and send it to her. It’s painful being on the receiving end of the abuse with no remorse being offered.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife Жыл бұрын

Are you doing ok?

@Mandrake591 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, this is excellent. I’m revisiting this step, and your video is a great refresher!

@patricklena9307 Жыл бұрын

I'm just starting step 8 now. I am petrified of this portion of The steps this is what has kept me away from doing them. I have a lot of Baggage to unload and I am just trusting my sponsor and following direction.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife Жыл бұрын

First all, it's just a list making. No one has to see it . These steps made me very fearful, too. But once I did them, I felt a lot better:) Just take it easy on yourself. You are worth the gift of sobriety! Stay the course and trust in the journey . I also had a lot of baggage to unload and stuff that kept me drinking . Good luck:) God speed

@kimballer 3 ай бұрын

My sponsor told me is All we're looking for is a Pattern...not judging our past. Put it on paper and trust the process.

@adamschwartz3449 3 ай бұрын

Good video. I'm doing a 9th Step with a co-worker who I badmouthed and told to "be more friendly" in an angry tone. I can feel the relief just from thinking about it.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 3 ай бұрын

Right on 😀

@rodelmar1 8 ай бұрын

thank you, Terry! Your words has provided me a light in this path.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 8 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

@mrf3736 8 ай бұрын

As a son of an alcoholic and a drug addict, I just want to tell you that from my perspective, making a man's is a lot like making a crime and then going to church and confessing for it. It doesn't mean you actually fix the problem. You may feel better about yourself, but unless you truly make amends the right way, it's not real

@psmathis 8 ай бұрын

What you are talking about is saying “sorry”, that’s not making amends. It’s a common misconception that people treat these as the same thing, and it does a huge disservice to the purpose and ability of what a true amends is, which is sooooo much more than a simple “I’m sorry”.

@mrf3736 8 ай бұрын

@@psmathis well sometimes so much damage is done that this really nothing that could be done to fix it

@ilikenachosify Жыл бұрын

Thank you Terry❤

@dj8350 Жыл бұрын

I was contacted recently by an addict who caused extreme carnage in my life. The voicemail said, “I want to make amends please call me back” I am very wary of contacting this person. Years of theft, lies and cheating and now this addict wants to apologize to lift a burden, but it sounds like this step 9 is just for the benefit of the addict, like it’s always been…

@AnAlcoholFreeLife Жыл бұрын

Just person out ,you may be surprised:)

@dj8350 Жыл бұрын

I’m thinking about it

@selaysomeweebykilljoy2671 7 ай бұрын

How was it @@dj8350

@soberreference2975 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story.

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for great feedback 😀 Are you starting a recover channel?

@jennahillier5346 3 жыл бұрын

@@AnAlcoholFreeLife You're so kind to notice! I have the idea to start a recovery channel. It takes courage and commitment to actually do it! That's something I'm working on. Have you enjoyed creating your channel?

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 3 жыл бұрын

@@jennahillier5346, I enjoy making videos for my channel very much. The commitment can be difficult at times, But I try to put something out every week. Just put a video up and see how it goes !

@SarahWozniak-y9o 2 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@MrMerrrrrrr Жыл бұрын

Excellent work ❤TG

@AnAlcoholFreeLife Жыл бұрын

Thanks ✌️

@Noah-nk1qm 2 жыл бұрын

Hey Terry, I know this is an old video, but do you have any experience with making amends to genuinely bad or evil people from your past, who at the same time, you also wronged, even if it pales in comparison to the things they’ve done? Im really struggling with some amends on step 9 right now because of this, and it is causing me alot of uneasiness. Thanks!

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 2 жыл бұрын

In step 9 where it says (would injure them or others) we are the others. There were people, that whom I was really afraid to make amends to. Some I wrote a letter too. the Evil people I simply wrote a letter to them but never mail it but read to my sponsors and prayed for them.

@neryfernandez8103 Жыл бұрын

Ty ❤ ty

@gbearded6223 2 жыл бұрын

Curious, you said for some, the process can take 10 years. Does this mean that can’t move to steps 10-12 for 10 years?

@AnAlcoholFreeLife 2 жыл бұрын

No ,you can move on to next step. I made the majority of my amends within about week. But as moved thought life other people would come up that I needed to amends to.

@DarraghQuinn-d8o 3 ай бұрын

Nah. 15 years sober. I forgave myself and I'm good with the man above. That's it. Picking at old wounds is a selfish act. Those we've hurt or disappointed don't want all that. Don't rake over old coals.