ANSWERING QUESTIONS - EP 2 | Love | Mental Health | Why I left the church-storytime | CHURCH TRAUMA

Join me on my second video answering questions some of you asked. This has been a difficult video to make because I had to relive the traumatic experience I had. I tell my story on why I left the church. These are MY experiences and I can accept that there are people who have had a different experience.

[@conversationswithzee2055]

I love that you’ve chosen you and that you got the chance to encounter God on your own instead of being told who God is.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

It has been such a wonderful journey. One of the greatest blessing has been living fearlessly. Living life without fear and having to love abantu without being bound has been freeing.

[@imlapams]

You are raising such important points, and one of them that stands out is the issue of spiritual bypassing. This concept holds significant relevance in today's world, where individuals often seek spiritual growth and enlightenment but may inadvertently overlook or avoid addressing deep-rooted emotional and psychological challenges. Thank you for advocating for mental health. Thank you for bringing up this significant point. It reminds us to be mindful of our own spiritual practices and to support others in their growth while remaining conscious of the potential pitfalls of spiritual bypassing.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Spiritual bypassing is the word! It’s painful that I was part of the people who taught others to spiritually bypass very real problems. It is so important for us to address mental health issues because they are real and there should be no shame or stigma associated with them.

[@MphoK]

Your dad was the sweetest. He really was your friend. He loved you guys so much❣❣

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

He loooved us overrr! He truly was shame. I miss him so much

[@imlapams]

Well done for standing in your truth. Your ability to authentically express yourself and stay aligned with your values is truly commendable. In a world where conformity and societal pressures often discourage individuality, your courage to be true to yourself sets a powerful example.🥰

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

It is a scary path for sure

[@olwetunqoza1530]

I was in the same church and experienced the same I’m glad God took me out

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

God truly did an amazing thing by taking you out 🙏🏾

[@luciadalicuba6440]

Religion trauma is a real thing, I'm glad you're healing. God is not religion and He is bigger than religion. There is so much you touchbased on that I found myself relating to, had so many 'aha' momements while watching this. Thank you for your vulnerability ❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

God is definitely so much bigger! Being in a high control group is traumatising especially when your whole life was based on it. Healing takes time as well. The triggers are still there but there is so much progress and I have so much more love. Thank you so much for watching and engaging.❤️❤️❤️

[@sisterhood60]

I love how you well articulated your experience and how you stood your ground especially there by the misconception of mental health. I love that train on "Sunday's are for lover's" Exactly my dear!!!❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

I was worried about the articulation aspect. Thank you so much for these comments ❤️❤️❤️

[@imlapams]

Perfect love drives out fear!😇

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Yes!!! Also God is not angry at us.

[@conversationswithzee2055]

I need to check this verse❤️

[@simplymahle]

I never get tired of hearing how you and your husband met! So wholesome😊😊❤❤❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Awww man ❤️❤️❤️

[@conversationswithzee2055]

You are brave for sharing this and my step dad was stuck in the trap of that church. I know exactly how it is even though you did not mention the name.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Yho sana. I am so glad he was able to get out. It is so difficult when you are older sana

[@imlapams]

Thank you for sharing your story myF. Your willingness to open up and share your experiences is both brave and impactful. Love you so much! I'm sorry you had to go through this experience.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Thank you so much for engaging my friend. Your words of affirmation truly make an impact to me. I regret nothing from the experience. I would also never judge people who are going through that and perhaps don’t want to leave because I too have been there. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[@simplymahle]

I really found that ADHD explanation so helpful! ❤ so sorry you had that unpleasant experience with that psychiatrist and I'm grateful you've made strides in your mental health journey❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

That psychiatric nurse really was not it hey. The more we talk about it, we are able to remove the shame from it

[@asandamlakuhlwa5940]

Thanks for sharing Yonie,everything makes sense kengoku,and all you said is true...all I can say is that God is not the monster that's always portrayed to be...i remember the long conversation we once had😅,I thank God we had it,keep up the good work,for real you articulate yourself very well...please remain a blessing to many

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Oh mntase. You are one of the people who listened to me. I felt bad because I didn’t want to be bitter. We used to discuss after service and I would be so upset. Thank you for being one of the people who allowed me to vent

[@nokuthulamva8094]

A new subscriber here😊, love you ❤️

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Thank you so much for subscribing! Welcome to the fam❤️. Love you even more 🥰😘

[@mabotledianasibi2071]

You've gained a follower❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Welcome to the family! Thank you so much for subscribing and commenting! ❤️❤️

[@sunflowerdaze2222]

Thanks for sharing your experience Yoni mntase. I also went to the same church and had a similar experience but the way I gaslit myself for a long time because there is a demonisation of people who leave the church. I have been deconstructing since 2021 and its a painful and lonely journey. But I have faith that I will find my feet again because my religion and the church/ churches ways was how I made sense of the world and myself.

[@sunflowerdaze2222]

I was born in the church and only left officially in 2021( I remember you and I told you who I was you'd remember me😂). You are so brave and you are going to accomplished so much in your life. I remember how sweet you always were, glad to see you are on youtube . All the best sis❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

That’s exactly where I am at. I know I will find my way but I’m not there yet sana. I am not ready to be fighting shame. But God has our back sana

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Thank you so much for your feedback. Please inbox me on Facebook and remind me please 🙏🏾. I appreciate you ❤️. Please have grace on yourself

[@anitamnge4623]

🌸

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

🥰🫶🏾

[@phumzambodlana5209]

Jonga the church story...People need to read their bibles ngoba sana its bad out there!!! Thank you for answering the questions love you 🥰

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Yho Phushy! That’s the only way. But I never blame anyone because the bible can be used to deceive. You never notice the religious abuse until you leave.

[@phumzambodlana5209]

@@wingingitwithyonella3663 When I left my previous church I didn't understand it then but now am glad I left shame..

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

@@phumzambodlana5209 that’s so true. You never know how good it is until you leave. You no longer live with the guilt and the fear. You become better (as an overall person) over time. Thank you so much for tuning in ❤️❤️❤️

[@conversationswithzee2055]

Girl! I love your storytimes. You’ve educated me about ADHD. I’ve always associated it with young boys.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

It truly is one of the things that has been under diagnosed in girls shame. I hope we get to assist those who struggle and suffer in silence. Thank you so much for engaging ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@sandiletukani]

Haha give your Isaac baba, what you gave was your Ishmael🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣... I don't wanna get into this conversation because we would need to delve into much deeper issues ; psychological tactics, ultra manipulation, mind control etc. I'm glad you freed you fought, and still do, for yourself and wellbeing. That's your greatest asset, YOU!

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Eyyyyy!!! Sisuka ezintweni. I mean it would be great to expand on it but it is quite scary and you don’t wanna step on feet.

[@sandiletukani]

@@wingingitwithyonella3663 some day we'll get into it. I'm sure it'll be one hell of a topic. One key point I will highlight is that you should always prioritize your stability, it takes actual mental strength to overcome cult habits, I'll say that much!

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

@@sandiletukani Definitely. It really is not easy. That is why I do my best to have grace upon myself and other people who may be experiencing what I experienced. It definitely is not easy. I think one thing I did well was leaving before I left because that makes the transition easier. I always question myself. If I want to disagree, I always will question where it comes from and even ask if it is harmful. That makes me be more accepting. I think one thing I also did inside was not judging others and not just go along with the judgement part of stuff (although I went along with everything else). The habits do take a toll on your mental wellbeing. Also very important to choose your battles.

[@ms_traversspeaks6815]

I truly understand the "lack" of community within a place that preaches community... But into edibana nabantu nyane...

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

It’s painful how negligent they can get towards people. If you are not popular or liked then it’s curtains for you when you lose a loved one. It’s extremely painful.

[@imlapams]

Thank you for the ADHD explanation. Your insights were incredibly insightful. 10:54

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

I hope iyeyavakala f. There quite a number of recourses on KZbin and TikTok that assist in understanding the condition from people who live with it. Thank you so much for your question ❤️

[@AndiswaMojapelo]

📍📍📍

[@sphokazizide2000]

I love that part ...bani uthe unaye nyani hahahahahaha I love it❤❤❤❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Eyyyy😅❤️❤️❤️

[@imlapams]

You articulate yourself so well❤

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Oh chom yam🥹🥹🥹. You don’t know how much that means to me. I so insecure about my articulation, because sometimes I go around in circles and not make the point I had intended. This is a much needed validation ❤️❤️❤️

[@AndiswaMojapelo]

Nolufefe kwezondawo 😂😂

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Yayivhaaa!!! I saw the future 🤣🤣🤣

[@andisiwemguli541]

I always find myself smiling like a fool when you’re telling how you met your husband- love is beautiful mntase wam♥️ You articulated your(&our) experience in that place very well, I still get anxious xa ndicinga ngalandawo😩 Lol I remember the sermon about Depression very well, yayingase ndiphume ngomnyango😅

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Umyenam ondithandayo 😍😍🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣 Yhuuuu!!! I don’t know how I managed to stay. I guess I began daydreaming. It is super traumatic. The shame and guilt we faced. The fear we have when talking about it. Akumnandanga uthetha because you know the consequences. You’ll be labelled and shamed but I love the fact that no one can shame you for your experiences. There are people who have said we must “heal” but njani guys because we have spent so much time in there. If we do not talk we will never heal. Ibuhlungu but that’s how it is and I will continue to hold space for those who criticise us because of the cognitive dissonance which I have experienced. It’s hard to reconcile that people you love and trust can be the people who have been, unknowingly, harming you. I also appreciate your comments because they make me strong.

[@SheIsMrsVanJaarsveldt]

Can i ask for more English, please🙃

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

I’m soooo sorry!!!! I will definitely do more English!!! Thank you so much for pointing that out ❤️😍

[@conversationswithzee2055]

I was hoping you’d share how you guys moved from a fist pump to being married.

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣We will definitely do a video on this!!! Stay tuned

[@imlapams]

😂😂😂😂@eating carrots 🥕 27:55 heyi sake sagowa

[@wingingitwithyonella3663]

Yhuuu my friend!!! Ulambele abantu who’d never. Oh hayi uThixo wasikhupha ezintweni. We can only thank Him.