Ari Shaffir Answers the Internet's Weirdest Questions

Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 7 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Ari Shaffir to the test.
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[@slamazu9232]

I feel like the filming quality has gotten worse over time.

[@GSTACK57]

slamazu it really has

[@In_Case_Im_Fake]

I have been saying this for a while now. I'm sure they hate seeing my comments. I have even requested the raw footage, and assets. I was going to give them a cut just to show them what is possible.

[@daemonhat]

looks like a bad green screen

[@DeathTrapProductions]

Justin Case That’s super cool of you to do. I try to offer freebies from time to time too. Professionalism.

[@Zeesneakyninja]

I don’t get why they are green screening, they could just use a grey background. Doesn’t make any sense.

[@calebmcgee4589]

“Italians! The worst of the whites!” Damn, really gonna do Papa John like that

[@machinesandthings7121]

Ya, but you know he's got a point.

[@sarahgilbert5884]

imagine if joe rogan answered that question with the jews. he had better have a funnier reason

[@frankdavis313]

Its fact after being married to one there super racist Mexicans that think their shit dont stink

[@DualYel]

Papa did that to himself

[@RADsLife]

You worry about Papa John, I'm worrying about little Caesar

[@flukeskywokker]

ari got a little too excited about the killing 10yo question

[@NickyCrash]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/a5jHZqSVitxjfKs

[@The1DarkBoy]

Right?! kinda got weird a little bit lol

[@swhite6]

Well he has an hour comedy special all about how much he hates kids so shouldn’t be that surprising he was excited to do a comedy bit about killing kids

[@09smartin1]

Ever see the animated clip of him and joe talking about it? It's hilarious

[@flukeskywokker]

09smartin1 nick t. posted a link to it

[@Themes_and_Dreams]

wtf happened to this one? why is he infront of a green screen being filmed on a blackberry

[@BreezyHorn]

they just moved to a new office

[@brocksdaddy081910]

Haha

[@djbarnhardt9504]

Ari just looks like hes being filmed on a shitty camera irl, hard to fix it in post

[@chrish267]

He looks like a japanese guy drew a jew elf

[@dylan8550]

Hahahahaha

[@jewfedmuzik]

🤣

[@robertthefeminist3370]

This is the reason why i read youtube comments xD

[@jeremybrown2979]

I love that he actually engaged and took every question seriously - so many guests don't get the questions or give cop-out, jokey answers

[@locusthordemini]

If there was a perfect comedian for these questions it's Ari Shaffir and he did not disappoint

[@richb5478]

I agree

[@colbymarsh2074]

The ending was the best oart

[@craigvgs3924]

It sucks this is filmed in its own room now and not the middle of the office. I enjoy hearing the people react.

[@TheDeven1000]

I hated it lol they were always in the background talking and shit

[@painplayer1614]

Cause hes a jew lol

[@edithmr21o]

Nah they're in the background tho

[@Tinker.Studio]

Missing your sitcom cues? Not sure what is funny anymore?

[@somethingfunny8734]

The lack of laughing in the background annoyed me. He's the best they've had on

[@aflaczach]

They’re definitely scared of getting back lash lmao

[@etb10]

They’re not doing them in front of the entire office anymore

[@somethingfunny8734]

@@etb10 I was really hoping somebody would tell me that. Thanks for the heads up

[@austonmatthews3854]

He was pretty average

[@yaknowmysteelo404]

The best I've seen is Theo Von.

[@cesarperez-ur7qt]

Ari go on hot ones

[@jmoore155]

I don't think his blown out asshole could handle it

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

If Ari is murdered, I'm blaming Bobby Lee

[@jamesholyfield3304]

Is this a fellow JK News sub 👀

[@jimpickens4]

or Bert or Kobe Bryant fans

[@mitchellnewman9670]

more like thanking Bobby lee.

[@KTF0]

Luis J Gomez

[@chasecushen7147]

I've seen dungeons with better lighting

[@jewfedmuzik]

🤣

[@ninobrown987x]

If you like that then you should see my dungeon that I’m keeping Terry Shiavo’s body in.

[@shaunpolk1702]

The audio for this video is lower than Patton Oswalds self esteem

[@sexywhite7198]

Shaun Polk *Oswalt

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

Who in the hell is that?

[@heythere9707]

Florida Man short dude from parks and rec

[@maxh9579]

@@heythere9707 lol he was in like 2 Parks and Rec episodes and everyone calls him that😂

[@jwferreira]

When he said I can kill the giant because I'm a recurring character I laughed so hard

[@SemperSalam]

Oh Christ, I cried I laughed so hard at that last question.

[@devincroft85]

“He went back in to close a deal and then ran out of time” 🤣

[@5stringmikey]

It actually costs less and looks better if you rent a 20 by 20 cloth background and actually light it correctly. #kidsthesedays

[@Rosetheegreat1134]

Ive seen better quality and lighting and a hostage video

[@DelightfulRain713]

You've seen better quality and lighting AND a hostage video? That's pretty impressive...

[@JediZombieMedia]

Most entertaining video I’ve seen in a while. I didn’t know Ari could be funny on camera

[@phredjonze]

Surprised he didn't pick rogan to do his play by play

[@rudeboirasta3629]

Me too

[@williamlane292]

They're friends. It would probably be weird.

[@fuckyou1p8r487p93q47]

Probably already happened many times and he didn't want mrs Rogan to hate him like Bernt Chryslers wife.

[@phredjonze]

@@fuckyou1p8r487p93q47 you talkin bout brint crystals?

[@josephiles5793]

Joe is his pal, he dont need a magical internet question wish to grant that one, just a quick text.

[@MrJharpermxschool]

Would you rather drug a friend or go sober a whole month... oh nevermind.

[@louiselaliberte9816]

Purely in the spirit of AIDS/HIV awareness (no tea, no shade, just facts), 11:27 should really be, "Would you rather be Magic Johnson (a 6ft 9in retired Baller with 650million+ in the bank), or would you rather be regular-degular you?" Ari was right when he said that Magic has HIV, not AIDS. However, Ari wasn't so right when he said "yet". It's a common misconception that AIDS is an inevitability of HIV. AIDS is a condition that develops in the 3rd/end stage of an HIV infection. AIDS is still an untreatable condition, but thankfully, medical advancements have made it possible to suppress the virus (HIV) to the point of being virtually undetectable and untransmissible, giving the HIV positive a life expectancy and quality of life that is comparable to anyone else's. HIV positive people can even safely have children now (under the care and supervision of their physicians oc). Nowadays, HIV infections that get to stage where they develop AIDS are far fewer than even a decade ago, but still too many to not be heartbreaking, especially given that in most cases, they want, but can't afford or don't have access to medical health care or HIV medications/treatments. This isn't just happening in '3rd world' countries either. For example, millions of Americans are forced to succumb to a long, painful, unbearably miserable and highly preventable death, because they are impoverished, have no access to health care, or can't afford the astronomical costs of health care and medications in the U.S.....ughhh how did this turn in to an essay from a simple correction? I must be way too over tired. I'm off.

[@dyslexicboogaloo]

Thank you for the clarification there. I always find it interesting when I can learn something in the comments. Also, your educational post was just as, if not more funny than anything Ari said in his whole “edgy” video so I didn’t completely waste my time watching.

[@ShookOnesTO]

His face reminds me of that famous "scream" painting by Edvard Munch.

[@Tha561homie]

I guess this is why they say don't hire a guy from fiver to do green screen work... Honestly some of the worst green screen work I've ever seen, who edited this a 4th grader?

[@rebelfiremma]

Best one yet

[@JessyTeddles]

holy shit!! he named the Js as being behind 9/11. thruth masked as comedy.

[@ryanchampagne1]

he gets like 10% into a joke, gets a little chuckle then continues into the 90% that isnt funny

[@dyslexicboogaloo]

I’m glad someone noticed. Everyone in the comments thinks he witty and has a good shirt. I think neither. I can agree with him that Italian people that always need to remind you they’re Italian can get a little annoying and I’m just glad he doesn’t do anything like that.

[@clm5899]

Thanks for the great show in Calgary Ari. You the funniest jew ever with exception to bert Chrysler... he's number 1 jew.

[@krazykdon]

Bert isnt jewish.

[@frankdavis313]

And his name isnt Chrysler lmfao

[@gretchenbaker7435]

He’s also the fattest jew

[@seabass9043]

Burnt Chrysler*

[@rustylachance]

Brett Crystals

[@DavidGomez-te9ck]

Ari Shaffir is the best comedian you could get to do this, his answers are raw and hilarious. Love the guy.

[@johnf120]

Eric Andre would be great on this

[@a.v.julian9917]

For the music during a car chase to evade high police pursuit, 100% I'm going Slayer's "Atrocity Vendor"!

[@jethrowomber]

That last question killed me 🤣

[@non4997]

Let's be real here, if you're watching men's volleyball you doing something wrong

[@tightbuffalos]

Classic Ari. Good shirt too.

[@BryanGuerratv]

That last question though. Wtf lol 😆 🤣

[@benjineer-outdoors]

I need that shirt...

[@e-rokp911]

Same

[@neenerheaddj]

Agreed

[@blueshky]

He's the fattest most racist comic as well

[@wildbill9863]

Trump is one of the funniest humans alive Self aware or not Dude is hilarious Ari shafir is so savage Tearing it up

[@bh-0330]

alex jones

[@Spfinator]

God bless Ari Shaffir. This man is a treasure.

[@jewfedmuzik]

"I wanna OD with the Miami hurricanes! They'd have one of those traech things!"

[@wojecire]

best episode yet!!!!

[@gofilmyourself7919]

What’s going on with the filming/green screen effect? It used to not be prevalent in past episodes but now it’s gotten very noticeable and hard to watch because of it.

[@MrByrl]

People keep saying that, what's wrong with it?

[@gofilmyourself7919]

MrByrl when using a green screen if you don’t have the subject and edges properly lit to get the “green glow.” Effect. If you look on the underside of the subject (most noticeable on the left.) you’ll see that sort of sickly green look. I’m guessing they’re trying to negate that as much as they can by turning up the reds which is why the last few videos have had those really deep reds in their skin tones.

[@MrByrl]

@@gofilmyourself7919 ohhhh

[@JohnDoe-qh3bs]

After Effects. Use the green screen key and turn on the advanced suppression to kill that white glow.

[@In_Case_Im_Fake]

I bet you could get away with keying this right in premiere...

[@jackbauer4101]

He is the perfect person to answer these questions with brutal honesty

[@MrCMStuck]

Where do I buy the t shirt?

[@its_millertime3157]

If I had a song playing during a police chase in my car... Was thinking some gangster shit but it would have to be “Black Betty” by Ram Jam

[@richb5478]

This was gold!!

[@danielpratt6672]

“Italians” ari does the lords work.

[@maxchristensen9315]

Shortsighted imo. You wipe them out you don't get pizza, pasta, or the best wine.

[@danielpratt6672]

Max Christensen people pretend to like that stuff to get Italians to shut up about it.

[@Cornbreadddd]

I love all of these.

[@gamers_channel]

Where can i buy that shurt bruh

[@d-baer4161]

John madden narrating sex would be legendary.. "Aaand there's Brett Favre"😂

[@sourdieselallday]

whoever does the audio mixing at bar stool mixes everything solo I have to turn it to Max to hear anything that's going on.... Come on..

[@nickdailey9889]

Get chappelle on here right meow

[@etb10]

droney Mcdroneface love Chappelle but he doesn’t really do podcasts

[@tylermorgan8787]

Holy god this is hilarious. I love Ari. How do I get that shirt tho?

[@blueshky]

Is that not a YMH shirt? I figured it would be?

[@Protectobot]

What KIND of bat: metal, wood, SPIKED?! Etc. haha! 😝

[@McKannon]

Probably the funniest one I've seen yet.

[@captainkrillz]

Did anyone ever answer what sample and/or song is that from in the beginning?

[@jasonnorton4468]

Air is such an underrated comedian Please come to podunk ass florida

[@ImJuice225]

Ctours(China tours) were fucking our whole Grand Canyon trip up. Ari is the fucking greatest!

[@jrod8099]

Is the baseball bat metal or wooden?

[@phredjonze]

Wood, he'd never stop if it were metal

[@PhilieBlunt666]

The real question is are the ten year olds armed too?

[@phredjonze]

@@PhilieBlunt666 yes... they have bike helmets

[@DrewKane]

The last question is legitimately funny as fuck. I don't know if I have laughed this hard while being alone in a long time. I rarely laugh when alone, and this did it for me.

[@the_abhiG]

I called LeeAnn before his answer 😂😂😂😂

[@Codyjb818]

Can anyone share the name of the intro song please?

[@pws3rd170]

The last one is the best yet. Danmed if you do and gay if you don't

[@dannorwood4906]

Where do I get that shirt?!

[@josephbraun2132]

Damn, he's so good.

[@andrewloveland3550]

LeAnn Kreischer FTW hahahahaha she has the motivation hahahaha

[@TheElcollin]

why would you green screen in a normal looking wall. kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it?

[@caingeron]

Okay, bang 10's for your whole life but they have a non curable sti and it can be a combination of a sti's and you cant wrap it. Or you are stuck with a 1 at and they are clean as a whistle and you can wrap it. Which do you choose?

[@Mang0Loco]

If they are clean why wrap it?

[@caingeron]

@@Mang0Loco if you dont want kids but you can get risky if ya want

[@jewfedmuzik]

"Bert kreishers wife... leAnn. She has proper cause to hate me... she does make a great jam tho..." -Ari Shafir.

[@jhonnyrodriguez2944]

Did you record this on a flip phone

[@noahberg1178]

Who else cant stop looking at his ears though😂

[@ebsmith86]

Now I can't

[@Greyseason519]

Hands down one of he funniest comedians of our time

[@BadgerBuns]

Best one yet!!

[@nickwakeham9548]

how is 6:50 NOT Jim Ross "MAH GOD HE KILLED HER"

[@jimbob4762]

Best so far!

[@2but800]

Only Ari would wear a flesh colored yamaka

[@thatgoodgoodinc.4895]

Ari is top 5 best ATI imo

[@TheCorky42090]

Baseball bat and 10 yr olds? I could go all day with a smile.

[@hunter_hult]

That shirt is amazing! Where can I get one?

[@willsapp2035]

What song is playing? The race by tay k. Not even a question.

[@brianboss484]

LOVE the shirt

[@jonahgill1]

18 dollars, biggest bagel of all time

[@tamerafarly7666]

*Pick one person to do Play-by-Play of you having sex* Me: Morgon Freeman or Tom Hiddleston

[@xallax1520]

bummer that this set of questions was not the best because Ari is by far the funniest guest

[@wdtriplett]

whoever asked the "song during a police chase" question, fucked it up. "You're running from the police in a high speed chase. Your car has a full tank of gas. You can listen to one song on repeat to help you escape. What song do you choose?" My song is "Highway to the Danger Zone" and it's on a one song playlist, JIC.

[@PhilieBlunt666]

He made a hitch hikers guide reference, amazing

[@iambecomejeff]

3 minutes in and it’s FUCKED up lol

[@tianieves3228]

Side~note: ari busted my *answer the internet* virginity&I'm addicted

[@MetallicaRocksss]

Ari killed it in this one

[@dirtysaint5324]

Ironically Ari Shaffir is about the most Italian like Jew ever.

[@mrburns805]

Nah he’s way too self aware even if he acts like a douche sometimes.

[@dirtysaint5324]

@@mrburns805 You mean like that shirt he's wearing lol

[@etb10]

As soon as he started reading the most likely to kill him question I knew he would say LeAnn.

[@bugz3349]

9:27 This dude is hilarious😂

[@jasonnorton4468]

"Hes like Howard Stern now, just a shell of himself" So fucking true We speak your name Ari

[@Ears95]

Please have Bert Kreischer on next!

[@jesusthemillionaire]

i met ari outside of a comedy club in toronto, cool guy

[@michaelrounds3578]

You need better lighting and you need to work on your chroma key so you dont see the green outline. Light bulbs 5000k or higher will work fine

[@justicelucas1116]

why is everyone complaining about the green screen i thought it was fine

[@craigmills6275]

Ya blind?

[@noahberg1178]

One of the funniest comedians i know, check his stuff out.

[@conradkorbol]

I didn’t laugh the entire time. Is he normally funny?

[@wvusmc]

@@conradkorbol he was as the Amazing Racist. Best stuff on KZbin.

[@conradkorbol]

wvusmc got it. I may have liked that when I was younger. I don’t think his humor is for me now though. Not that there is problem with it necessarily. He just seems mean spirited. I prefer comedy from personal experience

[@Barbievel]

I find him amusing, but not funny.

[@skellyo1232]

Ari the man, we need more really funny guys like him on here

[@frankdavis313]

Did yall just get the new set up right before the shooting