Apple Newton MessagePad 100 | Ashens

[@isaacbailey3681]

Not gonna lie, I was laughing my ass off at Stuart’s legitimate anger at that Norwich flub.

[@ChickenPika]

Boston Big is a great place. It's just like normal Boston, but everything's twice the size. That's where Geoff comes from, actually.

[@MojangStaff285]

hi

[@supernovagamer929]

ChickenPika and so do butts

[@EliteSmorechannel]

ChickenPika Youre bloody everywhere

[@ashens9486]

[@thedebug3866]

+ChickenPika HE's EVERYWHERE!

[@dominateeye]

Oh, I fucking lost it when it changed Norwich to Worcester. I think it's just mocking you, Ashens.

[@jakeb.3497]

During the day he is Chef Excellence By Night He is... Cliff Excellent

[@procommentr]

"An Excellent Tagline"

[@sushiacid]

Nice quote

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

An Excellent Movie: The Tale of Cliff Excellent and Feature Martin

[@RCT3Crashes100]

*Cliff Excellent* _”An Excellent Seashore”_

[@barubary87]

I like how angry he gets about Worcester.

[@junthergauch3089]

Your 10 year old comment made me audibly laugh, cheers!

[@PetesTools.BiggestFan]

​@junthergauch3089 your 5 hour old comment suprised me that I also came here today after noone else had for a decade. A decade. Say it like that an it seems wild. 😊

[@khhnator]

love how i have incomparably more useful and powerful device on my pocket right now, and yet this still evokes some kind "omg future" amusement from me

[@markmeason1244]

You could either buy this for $700 or an etch a sketch for $15 and the etch a sketch was more accurate.

[@MuchWhittering]

@Flicks It's not hindsight. The etch-a-sketch was better, and it was easy to see at the time.

[@Una_Ridlow]

@Flicks the problem is that all of those features barely worked and were incredibly slow, making it far more intuitive to just use a piece of paper than the messagepad to do your daily work

[@samholdsworth420]

Apple has always been about overpriced garbage

[@BloodWraith777]

S. P Moreno's sounds like an overly fancy restaurant with overly high prices.

[@maverickREAL]

Blood_Wraith ‎ Have you tried the raviolio?

[@Yeen125]

Or an old small town department store that got bought out by Macy’s.

[@IvanovIvanAKrutoi]

@@maverickREAL Does it have a secret formuolio for that?

[@mchagnon7]

No. its a designer clothing brand.

[@mmmhorsesteaks]

How d'you get from Norwich to Worcester? You'll want the A14 mate!

[@zacharylewis-briers5495]

Or public transport where u can take a train which has many germs

[@itsthesola10]

Bob is BagHeadMan ooo spores :D

[@Takeshi357]

Google suggests train

[@brianm6337]

*snort* I said- "by perhaps, driving?" XD

[@autumnmatthews3179]

I live in Costessey. Not very interesting

[@MountainStorm]

Cliff Excellent approves this massage.

[@Dd-gi5lm]

"An excellent super hero name."

[@SolidSonicTH]

"Please Macintoshes." Go to your local Apple Store.

[@pseudotasuki]

Didn't exist in the 90s!

[@theraveniscool]

Rob Speed there WAS CompUSA

[@Iristallite]

Can't do that right now

[@futurealarms121]

I've been to June on holiday... it's very warm.

[@DASyam-tb7qt]

Brenden White loled at that 😂

[@grimTales1]

Stuart's reactions when the writing recognition on the machine fails are hilarious :D

[@cocoelacanth]

“Now, you're just shipping, aren't you? See, I'm not into that.” -Dr. Ashen on ships

[@-throat-]

Boats.

[@DanaTheInsane]

First thing Steve Jobs killed when he got back in power.

[@EssexAggiegrad2011]

Too bad he was horrid

[@RyanGonTV]

If Steve didn’t come back. Apple wouldn’t be a thing.

[@EssexAggiegrad2011]

@@RyanGonTV Would not be so bad

[@annamundun]

@@EssexAggiegrad2011 🙌🏻

[@EssexAggiegrad2011]

@@annamundun Huh?

[@TenshiCat]

This has to be one of the funniest Ashens videos

[@Fahrenheart]

11:50 The answer, is, of course, through Birmingham.

[@manuelbuchers3280]

LMAO

[@IGotThePooDoo]

How to get from Norwich to Worcester? Take a flight from Norwich International to LaGuardia, rent a car, and it's a two hour drive to Massachusetts.

[@Muzer0]

Roku Haram Depends which Worcester. I'd have assumed changing at Ely/Peterborough and Birmingham New Street (or perhaps London) would be better ;)

[@AgentTasmania]

just dropped a couple bands to save bbc three Or just walk west-south-west. Should only take a couple hours, England isn't very big.

[@DanTheStripe]

AgentTasmania Please tell me you aren't serious.

[@AgentTasmania]

DanTheStripe Try reading it in Stuart's voice and get back to me on if you can identify a joke.

[@DanTheStripe]

AgentTasmania I thought you were joking, but with the Internet you never know.

[@drxym]

I had a Palm Pilot V I bought in Dubai and while the handwriting system was weird and had to be learned it was remarkably accurate. Amazing that PDAs as a thing have basically come and gone, subsumed by smart phones.

[@lucasthornton6794]

Interesting that even 20+ years later, handwriting recognition still doesn't work all that well...

[@dasherpie]

I’m surprised it still worked all together

[@MazeFrame]

I am surprised the dumb prompt about it only pops up every thirty minutes.

[@cygil1]

Yeah but Palmos Graffiti 1.0 worked fantastically, until Xerox crippled it with a lawsuit. Never forgive the fuckers.

[@TXFDA]

I know this is from 2013. But we need an entire series of videos based around Ashens trying to write on this.

[@Zycyzyx]

I eagerly anticipate hearing more of the exciting adventures of Cliff Excellent and the no-doubt wicked corporate machinations of Big Geoff Inc.

[@spoonman6256]

"How the FUCK do you get from Norwich to Worcester?!" By plane, I imagine.

[@zackl2000]

fuck you for making me laugh and choke :(

[@wilsonm6839]

You drive there in a car for about 5 hours

[@AgentTasmania]

England isn't very big, you could drive it in a few hours.

[@spoonman6256]

AgentTasmania Stop ruining the joke

[@AgentTasmania]

epic liampaul Everyone else is reporting with British highways.

[@exmerion]

I didn't know many people who used PDA's that actually carried them in their pockets. They would usually just hold them in a belt clip.

[@MrGeforcerFX]

My zire 31 i usually kept in my pocket, my Tapwave and Life drive I usually kept in my backpack.

[@penguin44ca]

11 years and the video is still great

[@GoobNoob]

I saw the face. I stopped at it successfully.

[@Luneth512]

Good for you.

[@jaclynanne1188]

Me too!

[@Akkuzi]

FYI In some videos he shows his face, not a reflection,when he does videos with other KZbinrs he does a little vloggey chat...lel

[@altairstar1922]

Me too.

[@ThePandaAgenda]

Darklight Bandit he also has a movie... starring himself...

[@Ninjamohawk]

11:48 "How the fucking hell do you get from Norwich to Worcester?" The A14 I'd imagine! *rimshot* ...sorry.

[@dracopticon7788]

Very funny! More humor than a professional stand up act!

[@AgentTasmania]

+Dracopticon Because most standups are completely awful.

[@demonetizeddemonetisedinmy1890]

+AgentTasmania I went to one and it was a gutter-kicker. Non-stop laughing

[@DanielLopez-up6os]

Nothing beats this review of the Newton even 10 years later.

[@Knuxfan24]

Minor problem with Handwriting Recognition. UK Primary Schools (at least the one I went to years ago), encourage joined up Handwriting. Most devices don't play well with joined up Handwriting. Geh.

[@Vajuras]

Uh.. You mean cursive?

[@LordXelous]

***** We Brits call it "joined up".... Cursive is very much an Americanism :)

[@bakintoast]

Lord Xelous When you call it joined up, is it synonymous with our 'cursive' style (the letters are considerably different) or do you just join the printed letters?

[@Headsign]

Actually, the Newton was pretty good with joined-up handwriting. Its handwriting recognition was much better than its reputation. Only people wouldn't take the time to teach it to adapt to their specific handwritings.

[@LordXelous]

iVulgarThrust "joined up" is the vernacular for what Americans call "cursive", but which is also known as "copperplate" writing... Cursive is easier, so they use that term, however, "joined up" is more amenable to children, which is why we call it such as we learn (or learned, I'm yet to meet a child who can write intelligibly who was born after about 1995, they all use laptops in school now and don't give a fig).

[@Ipodmini]

3:50 "Now you're just shipping.." I ship Martin and Stuart xD

[@janicechristinedenton0451]

Martin/Stuart OTP!

[@StraightFlame]

Stuart ♣ (tat, sofa) is a way better ship. (I wonder how many people, Homestuck fans or otherwise, are gonna notice the pun in my comment.)

[@RickWhitechest]

***** I noticed you, senpai. An Excellent Reference.

[@trydowave]

who is that?

[@MendelsonShape]

The poor Newton wasn't designed to cope with East Anglian place names. I used to live in Wymondham, which as we all know is pronounced 'Pelk'.

[@Jughead29500]

1:30 Apple Pencil v0.1.

[@Thomas_Bergel]

We reinvented the pen. This is... The IPen

[@BullsquidGaming]

+Jughead2950 and i seem to recall Steve Jobs when first unavailing the Iphone he basically said no need for a stylus? so.........WTF DO YOU NEED A PEN IF WE HAVE FUCKING FINGERS

[@valeriexvegan]

+SwiftFoxyGamer easier to type if you have big, fat, fumbly fingers like me.

[@Boemel]

+Jughead2950 still works just as well.

[@MrSlashStudios]

+Tom Jacobs Only $150 buy now

[@tobylast3153]

"liters float" and a circle with a v next to it. Brilliant work, Newton! I'm glad you knew I wanted a strange little doodle in with my notes.

[@dolgy3762]

Cliff excellent. Sounds like Troy McClure's sidekick.

[@LeviathanRX]

It DOES get hotter in East Delaware in June...

[@MATAM29]

Lol

[@gwishart]

Is that the code phrase your MI5 handler uses to let you know your cover's been blown?

[@MrRocketFX]

Big Geoff Inc. is now on Facebook WTF

[@ioioioioio6026]

no one asked, furry

[@therianCatastrophe]

woah there mr. scotch fueled, no need to get your knickers in a twist over a comment

[@BeaverIAB]

@@therianCatastrophe Missed opportunity to quote Ashens and the Quest for the Game Child there.

[@graysonwells21]

Vyrez let’s not forget the comment was made 4 years afterwards

[@ioioioioio6026]

@@graysonwells21 4 years of no one asking

[@obsoletegeek]

Big Geoff Inc! Too funny

[@caffeinepizza]

i love your humor. i always laugh so hard!

[@thescienceperson]

11:03 it predicted the tf2 bot crisis

[@idrgafnm]

this is where he got his name from lmao

[@Bluith]

put a band on it and wear it on your wrist and its about as useful and expensive as the apple watch

[@stonecrestmovies]

Bluith wow, so edgy

[@MrE10000g]

Bluith In fact, more useful than Apple Watch.

[@Firetomysoul]

Bluith very hipster

[@kenetickups6146]

#shrekt

[@MrE10000g]

John Carver Go away.

[@OvhanDevos]

Wow thats like, the most perfect circle i've ever seen anyone do by hand, at 5:48

[@landonbilyeu5285]

You can see that it changed the O to a perfect circle

[@SuperMudbog]

"Fantastic, you can bring down a jet aircraft with that thing." XD

[@AVARICEFarran]

Professor S. P Moreno's Does Hotter, Big Geoff Inc. East(DE), June

[@0100-t5q]

This is why you have one of the best KZbin channels. My favorite gadget from 1995 was the Sharp Zaurus. It was ahead of its time and incredibly well made. I think it and the Newton were similarly priced at around $600.00.

[@BrendanOrr]

I've got a zaurus...somewhere! (c860 I think it is?) dunno, runs Linux :) I'm thinking the "sharp" option on the Newton is a device to device transfer. Nice that they support competitors protocols if that's what it does.

[@0100-t5q]

Did yours run Linux? I think you had the rechargeable one. Mine ran a proprietary OS and used AA batteries ha-ha. It was fun because you could connect to BBS networks (remember them?) with the detachable modem.

[@BrendanOrr]

yup mine was from circa 2004 I think, plus or minus. the model c860 had a rechargeable battery and by default ran a Qt-based PDA environment over Linux. I installed a different ROM that gave a full X11 session so it was like a mini laptop. I think the CPU is an ARM

[@Bacca-rat09]

What the fuck was with the subliminal message at 3:06? It looked like Anton LaVey or Howie Mandel with a creepy smoky beard.

[@NeafusSammich]

Did anyone notice a random face flash around 3:05?

[@foxerboxer2123]

I hear every winter in the country of June, the Earth is ripped into another dimension. Every survivor turns a year older.

[@riksaboee]

"Hideously slow and completely f*cking unreable" I laughed so much😂

[@countzero5214]

I used to have the next model in the series, the MessagePad MP110 which, as you rightly mentioned, used 4xAA batteries and the battery life was really very good - but sadly the handwriting recognition was no better than your Newton ;) Much fun and games were had for about 10 minutes after which the device was shoved to the back of the drawer, where it stayed until I sold it on ebay for almost four times the £10 I paid for it at a computer show. Ahh, the 90s, where we had to queue up for hours in smelly sports halls on rainy sunday mornings to be overcharged entry to what was usually little more than a marketplace for pirate CDs and VCDs (yep - nobody had DVD writers back then so DVD piracy was done on CDs) and the odd seller peddling some ancient hardware that they probably salvaged from a skip :) Anyway I digress. Keep up the great work. I love your channel :D

[@AceyMari]

holy shit 700$ at launch in 1993!?!?!?! 0-o damn son that's even more than a macbook air today

[@kemosonicfan123lbp]

Well this sure aged well

[@ProfessorYana]

If I remember correctly, "L'pomme du Jobs" means "Jobs' Apple" (well, literally, "The Apple of Jobs").

[@AlphaNumericKey]

What the HELL was that thing at 3:05!?

[@pepperspray7386]

Thank you for the beat up martin thing. I wouldn't have been able to sleep after watching this if you hadn't done that.

[@user9f0j23fj2f]

"Useless.... strikes. It certain has stuck when we're using this!" hahaha

[@weeseet]

I really want to play with one of these now.

[@dukeroyal1218]

Cliff Excellent- an excellent action film.

[@CptnFridge]

That bearded man. He's in many of Ashens' videos.

[@Mkspokes]

EpicRancorCptnFridge couldn’t imagine him hiring Noel Edmonds lol 😂

[@SorrelwilkesIsAwesome]

I love the sharp breath intakes he does before saying nearly any sentence

[@Bauhauskiddo]

My father used to have a Palm Pilot PDA, it was a bit smaller than this one and you had to use some sort of special shorthand writing to get it to recognize it. He had this really great space trading game on it.

[@sebastianmeid681]

subliminal bald bearded face at 3:05 when he says "in fact", right at the "fa" syllable. ashens, wut?

[@TheTwoDrunkGamers]

Im just happy to know I hadn't gone batshit crazy

[@kendalldavis99]

Same

[@ExtremeGamer9951]

jpKendall Davis same here

[@theevilone]

Mentski again. He does this a lot now.

[@EX7RUD1CON]

***** me too!!

[@jayshields1234]

who else died laughing?

[@eshanirewatkar940]

i did

[@rogertopful]

If you died laughing how did you type this comment?

[@NeoPolitona]

***** Because HE IS ZOMBIE VAMPIRE!

[@vzwGrey]

Velvet Scarlatina Actually he's just a noisy car

[@NeoPolitona]

vzwGrey Oh, good point... Why not a Zombie Vampire Noisy Car 2: Electric Boogaloo?

[@UnaccountablySelfy]

I completely forgot about this video and now I'm at uni in Norwich I kept pronouncing Costessee wrong until I found this video again... Which is a little embarrassing as I actually work in Costessey... My favourite is Trottiscliffe in Kent... pronounced 'Trosley'...

[@SmeddyTooBestChannel]

***** Looks more like "Trot-is-cliffy". How the fuck do they get "Trosley" out of that?

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

Sir Cleanington Britain.

[@thatsuaveraptor4297]

Smedis2 some of these places have existed for 500+ years, due to general illiteracy back then town names were transferred by word of mouth. And like chinese whispers, over time the pronunciation eventually changed to a simplified form.

[@lpdgaming4848]

at 13:25 Ashens: Types in UAE while saying "Even you cant get 3 letters wrong" Newton: "You underestimate my power!?"

[@medworthy]

Why is there a single frame at 3:04 with a picture of a face? (I only noticed due to my slow network connection - not used a video editor to try and work out what this image is) Is this something to do with subliminal messages? (maybe this is a way of getting the viewers to buy old 90s crappy gadgets)

[@MinusPi-p9c]

Um... What's with the face at 3:05?

[@anessabdelgader5310]

Yyep I fought it

[@user-tw7jd9pk5v]

Time to have that has my screen saver.

[@RichardTroupe]

Worcester... "Oh for fuck's sake!" Hahaha!

[@hartage4]

Apple: Shipping people since 1993

[@BloodrealmX]

How the flying fuck did progressively stacking colloquial accents manage to morph 'Happisburgh' into 'Haysburruh' and not manage to alter the spelling over the years?

[@MCDreng]

By day, he is Big Geoff. By night, he is.... Cliff Excellent.

[@black2783]

feature Martin do Stuart

[@itsthesola10]

81986978 either mouth move it

[@13thFlProductions]

liters float

[@CookieLuverHmm]

The ship must sail

[@mydadshowering2978]

H

[@itsthesola10]

PS4 Games on a shelf Hanoi

[@GlitchCrunch]

"Does Hotter"? "Big Geoff Inc."? You made a gay porn star's business card didn't you Ashens?

[@ImInAgonyLOL]

Featuring Martin do Stuart.

[@SouthwesternEagle]

I love this video! It's brilliantly crafted and performed. I laughed so hard through this review!

[@foxman105]

Considering the time it was released, this was pretty damn impressive.

[@robinw.8083]

Ashens: "How do you get from Norwich to Worcester?" My stupid dad-joke-prone brain: in a car.

[@HAL_NOVEMILA]

3:05 What the hell is THAT?

[@TheMrKeksLp]

"Who wants a stylus?" - Steve Jobs

[@k0ri_196]

Nullpointer, this is what made him come to that conclusion

[@Schule04]

Should have loaded some third-party applications on it.

[@hihihihihihey1]

At around 3:05-3:06 there's this image. When he says, ''in fact''. What's that about?

[@TheBlueCoyote]

"hello, Big Geoff Inc., yes Geoff is free to help you move the bookcase this time next week ." -- could not stop laughing for more than a minute.

[@manduheavyvazquez5268]

Beat up Martin......eat up Martha.

[@jevilleyoutube]

Still better than the Apple Watch

[@dave_riots]

Yep.

[@chuckleshelicopterwigwamjo7315]

+Jake Neville (TheCoolestKid) Still better than smartwatches in general

[@oofouchowie6425]

+Jack Thrain fatfatfatfat

[@AgentTasmania]

+Chuckles Helicopter Wigwam Jones It does actually sort of do something.

[@abigguitar]

Actually, the Newton had no uses at all. The Apple Watch is at least a watch (when it's not hung).

[@LaatiMafia]

@ashens Did you try using capital letters only? I bet it would be easier for the device to recognize the letters.

[@informaticasistemas6264]

+Laatikkomafia Who can read this assholes handwriting. No one not even the fucking machine.

[@penguinchip]

+Fabian Salini Anyone above the age of 3

[@Morbing_Time]

suomi mainittu torilla tavataan

[@klappstuhlPE]

+SinäLennätKuuhunEnsiViikollaApinoidenRaketillaJokaToimiiIhmisLihalla vituu Saatana

[@normanusrex7910]

You can really picture the 90s' hipster sitting around his fancy café with his "Newton", sipping a latté and trying for hours and hours to enter mother's phone number.

[@caldanwil]

Most entertaining tech review on KZbin!

[@idrgafnm]

10:59 doeshotter

[@hiimemily]

"How the fucking hell do you get from Norwich to Worcester?" By way of Birmingham and Peterborough, you silly man.

[@UnL1k3]

At least apple gave the damn stylus for free!

[@UnL1k3]

+Jordan Johnson It was? Why did I even expect Apple to give anything for free!

[@TheSlimshadyrocks]

+Jordan Johnson how tf do you use it without one

[@UnL1k3]

+Del Taco James Apple marketing tactics! This means you definitely have to buy it!

[@flabini4883]

+Penta Cereal Are you serious right now? Of course it came with it...

[@UnL1k3]

+Dupa Dupa I was responding with Jordan's comment in my mind....I assumed that his comment was true when he said that the pen cost an extra 50$.

[@cocobuddd]

Isn't it crazy how far Apple has come? Back them, most people didn't even consider colored electronics being avalible for everyone, not to mention powerful electronics. And now we have the iPad Pro. Crazy.

[@moatasemaldayea6502]

5:47 perfect circle right there. good job ashens

[@RadioactiveCheese0]

Le pommes du Jobs.

[@bakintoast]

Les* pommes ?

[@RadioactiveCheese0]

iVulgarThrust Dammit, you're right. My French is really bad.

[@bakintoast]

E. Healy I only know the basics, but knowing Spanish and French at the same time certainly helps in that respect :).

[@ChedCake]

And les pommes translates to apples..... I don't think jobs as it's own word exists in French but the English jobs has it's translation which I think is something similar to occupation

[@bakintoast]

Yeah, seems like the best they've got is basically 'employment' 'l'emploi', masculine, for whoever cares. Jobs being a proper noun, it wouldn't need to be translated though.

[@Kapsyloffer]

Still better than the current iPhone

[@7teenagesmokers309]

Omg did you make that up? That's so funny. Haha :)

[@Kapsyloffer]

dafuq happened here?

[@Kapsyloffer]

Spoder Man

[@kenetickups6146]

HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL!

[@nukiradio]

Spoder Man Spoder, you need to get off the internet with comments like those.

[@IndiBrony]

11:44 - That would be via the A14, mate! edit: naturally, on a 7 year old video, the joke has been made several times. I'm a bit late to that one

[@ken131]

I love it when we can actually see Ashens doing a video in the video

[@Nails_By_Kimberlee]

Wow, 1993. That's the year I graduated from high school. I didn't know we had things like this back then lol. But then again, I was concerned with much more important stuff at that age 😄

[@octoman511]

Eat up Martha

[@futureamma23]

3:05 the hell is that face?

[@gronaldbibinsky6409]

Mentski

[@jackbluepirate87]

Satan

[@bloodrace]

What was the Fuck at 3:05?

[@room___]

he puts it into a majority of videos in several different forms, nobody has any idea

[@nimk]

Its a picture of him lol 😂

[@room___]

MegaDog532 not at all, an entirely different person

[@nimk]

UHHHHHHHHHH

[@rockyryan2805]

MegaDog532 #younglove #minekush #orgasm *damn son, where'd ya -* *STATIC* *UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

[@WillSellari]

What's with that image that flashes on the screen around 3:00?

[@fooperful]

a weird face

[@nescr3439]

Beat up Martin Eat up Martha 🤣🤣