Are you ever too old to have a baby? - The Global Story podcast, BBC World Service

In countries across the world women are deciding to delay motherhood. Increased access to education, more career opportunities and less financial stability means that more and more women are having children later in life.
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But fewer babies now, could mean more economic pressures on the rest of us in the future. We explore this complex topic with the BBC's Population Correspondent Stephanie Hegarty and Professor of Reproductive Science at University College London, Joyce Harper.
00:09 Introduction
01:58 How old is an older mother?
02:44 Global motherhood trends
03:30 Much older first-time mothers
04:51 Why women are choosing to have babies later
07:39 Environmental concerns around having children
09:07 How we're having babies later with fertility treatment
11:02 The consequences for global populations
15:33 Private sector paying for staff fertility treatment
16:35 "Having kids is fabulous"
Watch more episodes of The Global Story here 👉🏽 • The Global Story
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[@strngmgc]

why are people surprised my generation isn't having many kids? the jobs we have pay fuckall, the threat of being unemployed is omnipresent, we can't afford to buy a house, the rent is ridiculously high, buying groceries sometimes bankrupts us, we have no time for family or friends, we live to work only and relationships are more and more existing mostly digitally. with all that and many other such cases how can i physically, mentally or financially take care of a child?

[@WhitneyMerten-hb3tc]

Don’t forget that once you have the children you will get zero help! If you’re not blessed with family support, you’re on your own.

[@strngmgc]

@@WhitneyMerten-hb3tc yeah my sister had a kid (not planned) and it was amazing seeing her helpful boyfriend that i thought would be such a great proactive dad turn into a father that needs her to say exactly what he has to do otherwise he "won't know" what he needs to do to his own son or the house (the poor fellow!) now my sister has no time for anything and figured out a divorce is better than to live like this, but all the money goes towards the rent bc no one our age actually owns a house and she can't move out. it's like my generation taught the girls we can be anything and to be free but still taught the boys they need a wife to do things for them. i only date men my age and every boyfriend i've had is extremely childish (i'm 28 now), makes me think if i need to wait till im 40 or something so the men are actually grown enough to have an equal relationship, bc they can't fathom this concept now.

[@WhitneyMerten-hb3tc]

💯% That’s why more women are choosing to use donor sperm and do it alone now! Another reason we’re seeing women’s rights being eroded.

[@Fay1106]

Just date older problem solved

[@cajuncajun183]

You just summed it up. Who can afford a baby when we barely scrape through

[@daphnefinley2259]

I’ll be 48 when I deliver my baby. Conceived naturally. Truly a blessing ❤

[@tkio]

Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy and a darling delightful little babe on the other side ❤

[@GeryNH]

Bless you and your family!!!❤❤❤

[@jennbi1627]

Awesome ❤

[@khanf7085]

so happy for you

[@Useruseruseruser77893]

Congratulations and thank you for sharing. I'm 49 without partner and affraid that It is to late for me. It's nice to know that the dream might be still alive. God bless you.

[@IndomericaLife]

I've done my PhD, travel the world, being content with my career before started my matrimonial life. I'm 43 yo now and is expecting my first baby with the man I've met during my fellowship. It is THE BEST decision I've made ever to delay to a healthy pregnancy until later age!

[@krishnagondhea7428]

Wishing you all the best. The main thing is you’ve married a good man. You can have peace in your heart knowing that

[@thehoneydeev]

Congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳. Same boat (same boat as you but 5 years younger)- did you conceive naturally??

[@professordumbledore369]

All the best. Congrats. God bless you

[@mariaizaurralde]

How do you know it's best decision...if you haven't even had your baby yet?

[@IndomericaLife]

@@mariaizaurralde I’ve seen my women colleagues being sad when they telling stories of how having babies have hindered their career progress or their study. Mostly ended up with “you're lucky, you're still single, no baby yet bla bla” and now I'm expecting, I've shifted my research skills on parenting and newborn care etc, things most average younger women couldn't be bothered about. We wanna provide the ultimate for the sake of the next generation.

[@mcyrus27]

Man are having kids at 80 and no one is questioning 😅

[@GemGames3]

Unfortunately they can reproduce all their lives.

[@penelopeworld1580]

Men are not going through pregnancy and nursing all that stuff. It is much more impactful for women’s bodies. But I don’t think it’s good also for men to have kids this late, they cannot be really a participant in the kids life at that point. Can’t run, play soccer, pick up the kid , etc

[@omyhaby1912]

I hope U have some Knowledge of the biological difference between man and Woman....

[@OyarsaElentari]

I hope you have some knowledge that losing a parent can cause harm to children. A man who fathers children at 80 and dies causes harm through loss of a parent.

[@mbthe8731]

Men fathering children at older ages increases the odds of some childhood cancers like leukemia, as well as conditions like autism and schizophrenia.

[@21m455]

I honestly think females aren't getting pregnant until later is because nowadays it's harder to find a suitable partner

[@alisonquinn1494]

I was just scrolling for this comment. The change in dating culture must have some correlation with the change in birth rates. I know many women who would love to have children, but they have found it impossible to meet a solid partner who also wants the same thing.

[@mimingcooks630]

amen to that!

[@ikunnamok]

Also, I think our standards are higher for men and ourselves. We have more knowledge about mental health and emotional intelligence, how parents' behaviours can affect children. I certainly don't want to pass on the toxic tendancy I inherited from my parents, before most of it is healed.

[@Sandy-of6gq]

Also there is no village anymore, you have to solely rely on yourself and your partner and you usually both have to work. Even if the kids are of great health that's challenging, let alone if they have special needs. That seems quite a risk so maybe society should address that instead of shame and push people into bringing children into financially, socially and emotionally deprived circumstances

[@gailainsley6939]

Absolutely this. This is number 1 reason.

[@anjalianthony1656]

Women are choosing to start families later (or not have a family at all) for many, many reasons: 1. It takes much longer to find a good supportive partner 2. It takes longer to establish a career 3. Cost of living / affordability 4. Lack of post-partum care for women 5. Cost of childcare or lack of support for families. 6. General state of the planet and environment.

[@Agtsmirnoff]

The first reason is bullshit, there are plenty of good caring men out there that would love to start a family with a good partner,, with good incomes, but women believe they need to have a 10/10 in every aspect or they aren’t worth even considering as a life partner. Tired of hearing this excuse.

[@KS-cl8br]

OP is right, there are fewer good men who would be good husband's so yes it does take longer to find.

[@Aquagirl-in6wr]

​​@@Agtsmirnoff she is right. Finding a good male partner is incredibly hard today. Many of them are game players, narcissists, violent controlling men. So it takes a long time, and it's tiring.

[@soydansogukcesme470]

@@Aquagirl-in6wr yes and woman like you are angels.. its always the other sex who is not good enaugh. -.-' grow up

[@Agtsmirnoff]

@@Aquagirl-in6wr What do you mean "good" male partner? Let's be honest, you'll list off a bunch of intangible crap but really you mean is: "Finding a good male partner that also has super model looks is incredibly hard today" Otherwise what you are saying is BS.

[@JJ-xm2km]

i’m 38 i had 2 miscarriage recently…. please send me prayers all i have ever wanted was to have beautiful healthy babies… and give my unconditional love and support

[@Kolobok725]

Bless you,🤞❤

[@aduckwithanumbrella]

Praying for you, sister ❤

[@ohneka1561]

❤

[@usnasi4439]

My prayers with you. All the very best

[@geminimademoiselle3261]

You will be blessed!

[@fayafshar]

My friend tried and tried to have her first child in her late thirties with miscarriage after another. She quit her stressful toxic job, pursued her passion and without trying they fell pregnant at 45! She is very fit and a excellent mother

[@nuranur4093]

🥰

[@BearingMySeoul]

Good for her!!! ANY woman who has fertility problems needs to take time off work for her body to reset. I've heard story after story of this. Hillary Clinton didn't conceive until she was on vacation. Not everyone's body handles stress the same. :/

[@kaystar1844]

So beautiful. I love a positive outcome like this. Woman often get so much more hostility for not having kids regardless of their personal battles.

[@krishnagondhea7428]

@@BearingMySeoul taking time off work isn’t for everyone. Financial pressures on most people don’t allow it.

[@BearingMySeoul]

@@krishnagondhea7428 True. But in America anyway, where there's a will, there's a way! If I wanted to have kids bad enough, I'd move my family to a lower cost of living area to cut back on stress and expenses. There's a lot of families that can only afford to live in the boonies. 🤷‍♀

[@moniquecaesar1350]

I'm 37 and 17 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I've never felt more prepared than now. We've been married for 3.5 years, have enough income, savings/investments, a home to give her space to grow, and most of all a stable two parent household. We're blessed and grateful!

[@mosijahi3096]

That’s not being prepared to raising a child, having a child is simpler than raising a child having one is the easy part. You can’t prepare for raising a child. You can read and talk about it all you want, you’ll see and your partner is going to be apart of this too.

[@robinsonfamily3948]

@@mosijahi3096 You could've said congrats and moved on. You also could've kept scrolling. But here you are sounding like a bitter hater.

[@kittenmittens4387]

You did the right thing. It's far healthier for children to grow up in secure environments. That means emotional and environmental stability (directly affected by your financial stability- consistent housing, food security, predictable routines, etc). You are providing your child with a strong foundation. Good job

[@kittenmittens4387]

​@@mosijahi3096wow, it sounds like you really struggled as a financially disadvantaged parent. I hope things get better for you and your family 💕

[@le3336]

@@mosijahi3096you can mentally prepare yourself to change diapers and let a kid cry in a separate room etc

[@emu9520]

Had my first child with ivf at 41…now I’m pregnant naturally at 43😊

[@vanikaedward1793]

I still have hope 🙏🏽

[@sunmoonrising81]

​@@vanikaedward1793me too

[@Wavesurfa]

I had baby 4 (bonus baby we didn’t know was coming) at 43, she is 7 months old…. My eldest daughter just turned 24 🤣

[@kap849]

​@@Wavesurfa wow. Congratulations 🎉. My first born sister and I (currently 33) are 17 years apart. I wouldn't change a thing ❤.

[@syrykh]

That's awesome! Congrats! ❤

[@sazzlekaz]

I had my twins at 40, conceived naturally. I think evidence and attitudes around women’s fertility are changing.

[@nuranur4093]

Nature is supporting us 🥰 despite the system (capitalism).

[@NuLyteTV]

I hope so because it can be so negative and debilitating!

[@maudbrewster9413]

Yeah especially since most women have partners older than themselves it is not only a fertility issue of women but also men. Less healthy sperm is just not strong enough to reach the egg or is so deformed that the female body just rejects it, so miscarriages may not only be caused by the age of the woman’s body but also the age of the sperm producer, especially if both factors are combined.

[@Rubymaureen6679]

I will conceive my own this year.

[@missfavoured]

That’s a good point!

[@johannees622]

That comment section makes me smile from ear to ear. I am 37 and with God’s Grace, I will have my family too. Thank you for sharing your life stories. Very uplifting 😊

[@nuranur4093]

Same here 🥰 May you find a good, strong husband soon and have beautiful, healthy babies!🤗

[@johannees622]

@@nuranur4093 thank youuuu 🙏🏽. Same to you 🫶🏽

[@tanm9260]

I am 37 soon and want to hve children just like u wishing us all the best

[@johannees622]

@@tanm9260wishing you the same 🫶🏽😊

[@eberechichima3615]

🙏🏾

[@victoriaporsiempre]

Praying for the women who really wish to have a child but are struggling with fertility issues or other issues 🙏🏽 might God bless you with a miracle ❤

[@vanodiate9731]

Amen

[@simplydivine77]

❤

[@SkiraReed]

Thank you! I'm so stressed about it and scared we might need expensive procedures. At 32, I didn't thought I'd be 'too old'. It took me too long to find a good husband and turn my back on the feminist lies everyone told me. Hopefully we're going to be having our own baby this or next year. 😢

[@revn9203]

That’s the kindest comment so far. Most comments have been about how they have become mothers at such and such age forgetting that there are many who are childless not by choice and struggling and grieving. Even the ladies in this podcast enthuse about the wonderful feelings of being a mother without a thought to those who are unable to have children.

[@bendangaier3567]

Amen

[@brendagotababy8284]

I just had my first baby at 43. My daughter is almost 4 now and I'm 47, and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad she knows the mature version of me who has broken toxic patterns learned from a toxic upbringing.

[@yaelfeder9042]

I wish more people could be like this. You are making the world a better place by choosing to put off having kids until your mental health got better. I’m in therapy now and am almost 27. I don’t know if I want kids or not but if I have kids, I am following your lead.

[@MelaniaRose]

God Bless ❤

[@85catnip]

wow lol are you me but older?? my fiance and i are doing the same thing with the toxic past. we both grew up in domestic violence etc. it was my daughter who unintentionally taught me how bad my childhood was and how the F my mother could allow such cruelty to happen. my father NEEDED mental health help but with his upbringing... never going to happen. our child is 4 and we are already miles better than our parents at being parents. so i can totally relate to you.

[@beaulieuc8910]

it is very selfish. I was a kid of an older parent, and he died when I was at school, and I had to put up with a series of bad boyfriends my mother had. Parents only think of themselves not their kid.

[@zal5989]

​​@@beaulieuc8910people make choices considering circumstances. Your father could still have died when he was young. Maybe you would have both young toxic parents. You can only prepare for life and hope choices you make is right. Even in older gen people used to have kids in their 40s. My great grandmother and great great grandmother all had kids in their 40s too. Some of them lived to see their marriages, some died soon. Perhaps if your mother died while giving birth, would you have blamed her ? Would you have been happy with abusive toxic 2 parents? It's your mom's mistake for bringing bad bfs not your father's for having child at an older age.

[@Alfablue227]

My granny was a trailblazer. She was 48 when she became pregnant with my aunt. She had her at 49, and this was in 1961 !😊

[@csong9940]

Um, I think women were doing that long before your granny and long before 1961

[@Kwizii]

Women in that time did use to have children late, it's just that their first birth was earlier, but their last birth was late too (my grandma on my dad's side had 12 children, they needed kids to work the farm and also they were religious and there was no protection during sex).

[@appletree9974]

When did she die? Some kids become orphans though very soon😮

[@Alfablue227]

@@appletree9974 She died in 1979. My auntie was 18 when she passed.

[@krishnagondhea7428]

I guess your granny didn’t have the pressure of doing a professional job and the financial pressures women have today too.

[@cheryyc1751]

I’m in love with this comment section as a pressurized 24 year old ❤ happy to see women able to make the right choice for their families and themselves

[@TheBennygutierrez]

❤ Do you, honey

[@gailainsley6939]

Do not do it early. It’s a trap and most men you meet around that age will be the ‘wrong one’. Wait at least until 27/28+. You will be more wiser.

[@bugra320]

@@gailainsley6939 Don't misguide her jeez... It is absolutely right time for her. There is no point of waiting until 27/28. It will only get harder for her to find a husband and to give birth for biological reasons.

[@gailainsley6939]

@@bugra320 You are the one misguiding her. Most of the early relationships DO NOT last and the earlier a woman has them, the less likely she is to escape poverty. Have you seen the projects? Or council estates? Or ghettos? Yes. They do not move up. Why do you want her to have a hard life when she can avoid it?

[@bugra320]

@@gailainsley6939 The early relationships that you mentioned is not a relationship. It's only the modern women chasing the top 10% of men and they are being pumped and dumped. But non delusional women can easily find herself a suitable long lasting relationship. Men value purity and youth.

[@ChooseU4ever]

My grandmother had my mother at 40 and my uncle at 44. My mom was born 1948. I'm having my 1st child at 47.

[@robynlea6950]

I, personally love reading/hearing about women who've had children after 45 y/o.

[@francinejones2524]

Congratulations that’s awesome! I envy you! I think I want a baby and I’m 46😬

[@robynlea6950]

@@francinejones2524 Go for it!

[@DivyaJoan]

@@robynlea6950 Me too. I love reading these stories because I feel like there's still hope for me. I'm 42. I'm yet to find a partner. 🙄

[@robynlea6950]

@@DivyaJoan There is STILL hope for you. You never know where/when you can encounter love.

[@molliemoxie5276]

I'm so glad I'm in good company! First child at 41 and last at 46. Natural and IVF. My husband and I has been there, done that. We're debt-fee, own two mortgage-free homes, vehicles paid off, college loans paid off and we are both engineers. We got the hard part out of the way first now are just enjoying our little ones. Our children are in no way a burden, they are blessings. No regrets waiting to start a family in our 40s.

[@Shayne_T]

This kind of sounds arrogant. I passed it by my partner to see if I was overreacting and they said, “they kind of sound full of themselves.” Firstly, I have friends who are Engineers in the Bay Area and they have very good positions, they could not even pay off their 2.7 million dollar home, they had a plan to sell in the future and retire in a different state. My husband made 600k and I was a stay at home mother, we couldn’t even pay off our mortgage. Now that we’ve sold our home, this is more possible, but we don’t run around telling people we have this and this paid off, especially with how many people are struggling these days. Good for you, but most of the world does not have a paid off mortgage at 40.. even hard working people who make money, unless the homes are very very inexpensive. “We got mortgage, college loans, two mortgage free homes paid off, cars paid off, look how amazing we are!” That’s what it sounds like. If anything, explaining to people that maybe you made money on a sale of a home and decided to purchase something else cheaper with cash, and that it took years to save, etc. you just go, look at how great we are, basically.

[@alohawhy]

Op can't explain all that in this comment section. 🙄 Why are you so bitter? I'm broke, and not debt free but I saw her post as inspiring, maybe it's just your own POV .​@@Shayne_T

[@molliemoxie5276]

@@Shayne_T I am sorry you think my post is arrogant. However, my point is that as a woman we are brainwashed to believe we have to get married and have kids as soon as we can to be validated. Nope, we don't. We can wait to get a higher education, build a career, especially in a male dominant field to get higher pay, pay off debt, and maybe marry. I was 32 when I married. By then I was a third time homeowner before marriage. Listen, I was raised by a single immigrant mother who worked two jobs to compensate for the absence of one parent. Somehow she managed to send her two daughters to college. My mother's hard work has inspired me to make good choices, including holding off having children until I was in a financial comfort zone. This is a choice most women don't think to do. It seems like everyone is struggling because mainstream media says so. That's not true. I'm not. And I hope a young woman reading this will see that she has a choice in becoming a mother when the time is right for her and not what society dictates.

[@molliemoxie5276]

@@Shayne_T Also, my sister is expecting her first child at 44!She married at 39. And I'm proud to say she is more successful than me.

[@Ytliar24]

​@@Shayne_TShe doesn't sound arrogant. To me she seems sincere.

[@lwliu1112]

Delivered my baby when I was a month shy of being 45. Conceived naturally. He’s a freshman in college now. Totally worth it.

[@mistym0rning]

He’s a freshman in college, and I’m guessing you’ll soon be retired? I wish you all the best, sincerely, but it’s also very likely that your son will have to help take care of his elderly mom / parents when he’s barely in his 30s, and he’ll possibly lose you at a rather young age … maybe before he himself gets married or has kids. I feel that older parents often don’t seem to consider those things. As someone who lost both of my parents before I was 35, let me tell you that it made me very lonely in this world to know I’ll live most of my lifetime without them.

[@naightengale101]

​​@@mistym0rningwait, my grandmom had my mum in hear early 20s. When my mum was in her early 60s she had to be taking care of my grandmom. She wanted to enjoy her retirement and couldn't so, what's your point?

[@nuranur4093]

🥰🤗

[@daughterofsankofa]

@@mistym0rningsuch a negative outlook. I’ve had friends who lost parents who were only 28 at the time of death. The reality is ppl who take care of themselves can live to well over 100.

[@kate57425]

Thanks for sharing, that's awesome!

[@akferren1]

I’m 53 and have a 10 year old.. I’m much more patient and relaxed as an older mother than I would have been had I had him earlier in my life.. and he keeps me young and busy.. no regrets

[@kate57425]

Thanks for sharing, that's awesome!

[@ariadgaia5932]

I'm almost 40... and have waited my entire life to have children because I refused to have one without a good father to share in the adventure. Having come from a toxic family and spent most of my life surrounded by toxic people? I refused to have children because I didn't feel safe and knew the child would suffer... I've FINALLY found the loving, supportive, and protective man I've always longed for only about a year and a half ago. We both want children, but there are a few other things we want to set in place first. Once we have our farm and I'm a naturalized Japanese citizen? We plan to marry and have our first child. I'll be in my 40s, but that just increases the chances of twins~ We couldn't be happier with the life we've chosen, both for us AND our future children!

[@marianemashkalo4182]

It does not just increase the chance of twins,sadly. We do have a biological clock. Hope it works for you. Check your tubes

[@aspiring...]

No one talks about this and it's a major reason. It's very difficult to find a good partner to start a family with.

[@ariadgaia5932]

@@marianemashkalo4182 I know. I was just trying to focus more on the positives.

[@ariadgaia5932]

@@aspiring... It's sad that it's not spoken of more often. It's not just women struggling to find good partners, it's everyone. Many still think that all they have to provide is money and a roof, because that's all that was required of them for the past few generations or they were taught that. Generational trauma has been passed down for a centuries and few are doing what they need to in order to heal from it so they can be decent people, much less loving and responsible parents. It's a major issue that's getting in the way of many individuals starting a family...

[@nativefraulein5801]

Hi there, I am 40 too and I am in my round cycle of medicated cycles, that is to say, fertility medicine. I had my first child at 34. My advice, please don't wait around for nature. Nature isn't that kind to the healthiest of us. Find a fertility clinic that can run hormone tests, sperm checks etc and set you on a path towards success. Also with doctor's approval you can start with prenatal vitamins, ubiquinol, Alpha Luponic acid. These can help improve egg quality. I wish you all the best.

[@whatrtheodds]

My grandma was 16 my mum was 17 im starting at 35. I needed to heal some real trauma that comes from kids having kids. ❤

[@luvlay1]

The truth in this… whew 😥

[@diyallthings]

You will do great 🤗

[@TheBennygutierrez]

My grandma at 19 and my mom at 15. I had my baby at 32. It provides healing and relief, yes ❤

[@Kolobok725]

True, Mothers of that generation had kids at that age, no one complained. Good luck with your pregnancy, you are lucky you will get all help from young and strong grandmothers, ;). 😸

[@derrickjoe1872]

35 is considered and "elderly" or "geriatric" pregnancy, with much higher risk involved. What your mother and grandmother did was much safer and natural.

[@Meerkat74]

I had my 1st baby at 43 & Dad was 49, conceived & birthed naturally.

[@SA-lz1vx]

I’m a 31 yo single woman and this gives me so much hope

[@diopfifi4937]

​@@SA-lz1vxyou are still very young ❤

[@jenniferhorovitz2879]

I had my first at 44 and my second at 46... I couldn't be happier, they keep me feeling young.

[@ViantSiddique]

Hi @jenniferhorovitz2879 I am producing a programme for BBC Radio 4 and wondered if I might be able to speak with you regarding your experience?

[@mariaperez3040]

I am 52 years old. I gave birth my first kid when I was 39 years old, because I was 2 years struggling to become a mother. Actually I lost my first pregnancy . My second daughter was born when I was 42 years old. I was born when my mother was 45 years old. !! She died when I was waiting my daughter, I was 42 years old. My mother got married when she was 43 years old. She worked as a lawyer. So I learnt her experience. I met my husband when I was 35 years old. Sometimes we can´t decide in advanced what matters are going to happen in life. I live in Argentina where the economy and life is hard, but here I am . My husband and I wanted to have 2 children, we love our kids although the difficulties. We went through difficult times but it is worth to be alive and sharing our lives together.

[@Canadianlove]

Blessings

[@nandarani975]

😊❤❤❤❤

[@yaelfeder9042]

Yes! I noticed that sometimes people who have kids in their late-30s and early-40s also have parents who had them around that age. I always say whatever works for you is the right answer.

[@Eli-bz4vv]

I like what you said. People assume that we don’t want to be pregnant earlier but some of us just had miscarriages, fertility treatments that started years, male factor. It is so unfair that it is like we just decided to get pregnant in our late 30s

[@user-lb5tt3rb2t]

All the best for you, I also had my son at 42 years old and I am now 54.

[@DivyaJoan]

A reason rarely considered or discussed is the lack of a good supportive partner to have a child with.

[@nicksyb5920]

Exactly! There are a lot of men who won't commit until they are in their 40s which means their partners are also older.

[@ciarakristos111]

I know. Everyone seems to overlook this *essential* factor. Isn't it obvious? I would have already had children years ago if I'd been lucky enough to meet a suitable guy. I've only ever attracted flighty, immature, unavailable and lascivious men (the complete opposite of what I am). I'm slim (not curvy) and I dress conservatively, so I don't know why this happens. Where are all the mature (not old), committed men who have worked on themselves and who are interested in creating a family? Do they exist anymore?

[@JaynaSelene]

​@@ciarakristos111Unfortunately i had the same luck as you.I have one daughter,i gave birth when i was 30,now i am 34 .My partner was really immature, alcoholic, narcissistic and insulted me that i got weight and also he had mental problems.I broke up of course!You can't find these days a good man, because porn, social media have ruined them .

[@pronunciationmade4u571]

@@ciarakristos111 They do! Unfortunately, many of them choose not to be on social media. Maybe you find them (like myself, second husband) by chance, on a dating platform. 😉

[@diopfifi4937]

This. Is not a joke.

[@user-qc1qe4it4j]

I had my first son at 36 and second at 37 ,now 66 I have no regrets. 🎉

[@intr0vert315]

My mom had me when she was 45! And this was 1990! I love y’all ladies all of you ❤

[@whatliesbeneaththeweave3518]

I had my first baby at 32!! NO REGRETS!! I had a happy, healthy pregnancy. NO ISSUES. I’m glad that I allowed myself to mentally mature and achieve financial stability to be the best mother I can be!

[@Saharah253]

I don’t think they’re talking about 32 year olds having a baby 😂 you’re the perfect average for the UK. They’re talking more about women who are beyond the fertility drop, I.e 35+ and far beyond. 32 is now considered on the younger end of the spectrum believe it or not

[@Agtsmirnoff]

32 isn’t that old to have a child… fertility doesn’t start to significantly decline until around 35

[@noramartin96]

You were still a young woman.Good that you thought things through before becoming a mother

[@CL-do5eq]

I get what she wrote though. I’m in the US and they consider 30 to be old. Theirs a lot of pressure on getting married young and having kids in your early 20’s. Even when I dated it’s rare for men to think I’m 31 with no children. They think I’m a man lol or something is wrong with me. Only because I believe in marriage first and I value sexual discipline. It’s crazy I’m shamed because I’m waiting (I’m not a virgin, but if I’m not in a committed relationship no). And I’m still learning about myself. So congratulations to you on making that decision. I have many family members crying to me in their early 20’s because of how expensive it is or they don’t have a life. The guys they choice aren’t around. So I’m following gods plan and not my own.. Also some older men (who are divorced now) . People that married young are getting or are divorced by their 30’s so unfortunately those are the majority of men available. Most men have kids by now. But, many weren’t mature or knew themselves to get married. So men also pray on your biological clock. Making you feel behind. Thinking that I’m desperate to have kids. Sir lol I’m not desperate. I love kids and I volunteer to help with them. Lastly, I own a business and many wealthy people have their kids in their 30s and early 40s. Chose what life you desire and give it to god life your life.

[@ananasvostel]

32 is still quite young! You aren't an older mom:).

[@julianatorrez5146]

I had my daughter at 28. I thought I did everything right, finished college, had a career, and found a wonderful man who was also highly educated. However, I was tricked! He waited till I was 6 months pregnant to reveal what an abusive monster he was. I fled when my daughter was 9 months old. Now Im 47 and absolutely exhausted from the last 20 years and just want to be free from all the madness of doing absolutely everything. I just want to rest and conserve my lifeforce (if possible) into my 50s and beyond. It would be interesting to hear these women's experiences 20 years later after having children later in life.

[@fairywingsonroses]

This story is similar to mine. Had my child at 28 right after graduating college; her father abandoned us before she was even born despite previously ranting about how much he wanted kids. He pays child support but has provided literally nothing else other than blaming me for the circumstances being what they are. I lived with my abusive mother for 10 years while working full time and trying to save enough to move out, but covid and inflation made all of my efforts futile. I finally got married to a wonderful man last summer who has taken on the father roll, and I am currently a stay at home mom, and we homeschool, but that hasn't made things easier. I had to give up my career, my retirement, and my dreams. I keep hoping that someday, I can find the balance between my roll as mother and just generally preserving my energy and sanity for other life endeavors. I will say that I do sometimes wish that I had waited even longer to have a kid. When I got pregnant, the situation wasn't ideal, but I also felt like I might not get another opportunity to have kids, and looking back, I think that mindset was my downfall. If I had waited, I might have had a completely different experience as a mother, and many of the struggles that I faced as a result of not waiting would have resolved themselves. I would have been older, yes, but I also would have had a different mentality and probably more opportunities to find that balance that I crave now but cannot seem to find.

[@julianatorrez5146]

@@fairywingsonroses I feel everything about your experience, all your hard work, and the disappointments after sacrificing so much. I understand the feeling of wishing you would have delayed longer. But, at that time and given the circumstances you describe, most women would have felt like having a child was a great decision. I think that stories like ours demonstrate that no matter how much a woman prepares herself for being a mother, we are not in control what our partner does and the implications for their misteps can be an enormous burden on us. Adding on the challenges that come along with the unique issues women face in their older age would seem to compound this burden......but, may you reach your every goal and may you be able to rest comfortably in your sucess. 💜

[@pepy7779]

Us older moms are much more easily capable of doing things ourselves and often we prefer it that way. I'm a self made woman, completely independent. I have my safety net should something happen to my health or life.

[@amiwhite5514]

I hear you girl! Conserve your energy❤

[@chelseaxu2323]

Yes, we all should follow the natural law rather than setting the natural law by individuals intelligence

[@DaniS398]

40 years old 29 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. Healthy pregnancy . Healthy baby.

[@johannees622]

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@angeltravelstheworld]

As a millenial with no children , I've been watching a lot of videos where the interviewer speaks to older people. Their greatest advice over and over is always to live life your way. Do the things that make you happy, versus living for others. You will never find fulfillment in trying to either conform or impress others, when much of society is unhappy with themselves anyway. Whether it be having a child, or not.. go slowly and intentionally in life and make decisions that feel intuitively right. That is a powerful gift we women have - intuition. May we choose to listen to it often and use this gift wisely :)

[@apinkheel]

Preach 🗣

[@stonepainter]

Yes!

[@The-Steigers]

Both my great grandmothers had their last babies at 43 & 46. Big families were common in rural areas and children were considered a blessing from God. Don’t ever let anyone else’s opinions determine what you do or don’t do. Opinions aren’t facts and often misguided.

[@melroc8566]

Last baby in your 40s is fine. But if society follows a pattern like Italy where the next generation also waits until late to have children, then one does not become a grandparent until 75-80 and is never really part of the grandchild's life. No more "Nonna", she'll be dead by the time the grandchild hits puberty. It's just sad, that's all.

[@Sandy-of6gq]

​​@@melroc8566 but in the west with nuclear families kids also don't have solid relationships with extended family. Prior to birth control women regularly gave birth up to menopause at cca 50 plus life expectancy was much lower than today so many kids back then probably didn't have long relationships with meemaws either

[@michelleg7]

Mine too :D

[@MukyalaKiyingi-Love]

THE 70 YEAR OLD LADY THAT GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS IS IN UGANDA 🇺🇬 EAST AFRICA.

[@angyveysey2678]

I had my only child at 49 yrs old and as a single mum- no regrets it has been the best and most joyous thing! Of course I did have medical assistance - though started off without- the process took a few years due to this- advice- start as soon as you can!!! He is now 22 yrs old!

[@mariaperez3040]

my best wishes for you!

[@daisy9910]

This gives me hope. I'm turning 49 this year.

[@priyadharmasena6067]

Congratulations

[@MelaniaRose]

❤❤❤

[@robynlea6950]

I find that amazing having a child when one is 49 years old!

[@beawhite4516]

My (27) mum had me at 44 (dad was 50), I was a happy surprise. 20 years difference between me and the next sibling. Congrats to all the mums in the comments! :)

[@krishnagondhea7428]

There you go. And bet she was a good mother when you were growing up. It’s like you were meant to be born to her at that time. We are we to argue what nature Wills?

[@ChooseU4ever]

As an older mom, I'm interested in the child's perspective in having older parents. How was the experience?

[@nelsannie]

@@ChooseU4ever Not the person you're replying to, or relevant to me personally, but one of my best friends is incredibly close with her mum, who gave birth to her (I think) at 41. She's the youngest of four, but they have the strongest mother/daughter relationship I know of. They're able to talk about anything and everything together.

[@ChooseU4ever]

@@nelsannie thank you for sharing.

[@sarahkpaul9364]

The comments from older mums are very encouraging ..I’m 39 now, can’t afford to freeze my eggs and no potential life partner yet but I’m still hopeful

[@krishnagondhea7428]

They say Chinese herbs make a big difference in women over 40. Traditional Chinese medicines. Need to take for around 3-6 months.

[@RichierichTran]

I have several reasons to have my first son at 39: 1. Psychologically I was not ready to give birth until 35. 2. I did not meet the right man until 36 3. I have not saved enough for 1 year staying at home until 33. 4. The miracle did not happen until 2 year after marriage. Now at 41, I have to healthy handsome boys. More tests were required for the 2nd pregnancy than the first, but everything turned out ok. If I had my kids earlier, like in my early 30s or late 20s, I don’t think I can handle being a SHM well.

[@suppernova1184]

can you elaborate on the psychological part ? I am 35 I don't feel ready I was never in a relationship I have anxiety that might be the reason and people around me keep saying you need to hurry up and have children or you will die alone

[@RichierichTran]

@@suppernova1184 1. I was afraid of commitment so I thought of being a single mum. At the same time, I was afraid of raising a kid all by myself. 2. I wanted a kid of my own but I was afraid of labour pain, delivery complications and death during birth delivery. 3. I was not a happy person so I doubted if I could raise my kid to be a happy person. 4. I had not achieved the career goals I set in my 20s so I was reluctant to give up everything to be a mom. 5. I found myself awkward around young kids, like I did not know how to interact with them, so I doubt if I was really destined to be a mother or not.

[@RichierichTran]

@@suppernova1184 my grandparents had 5 kids and they died alone. have kids when you think you are ready to sacrifice everything for them only.

[@dia.8988]

These ladies associating women in their 30’s with the word geriatric is part of ageism against women. Last year a 47 year old coworker had twins without any ivf treatment. A healthy woman who took care of her health so well throughout her entire life was finally in a healthy and safe relationship and nature just took care of the rest. People just get over it! With help or no help from science, society is changing and more and more women like my beloved coworker will be having healthy babies.

[@anne-louisegoldie]

It's doctors who use this term to describe the mothers. Negative isn't it?

[@queenprincess4life]

My mother had 4 kids in her 40s and my grandmother had her last at 52 and is 96 today. If you stay healthy you’ll have no issues with pregnancy.

[@elisabethm9655]

@@queenprincess4life - yes, staying healthy and having a good chance (genetic record) of longevity means that having children in your 40’s or even 50’s is fine. Parenting is a risky business at any age, it’s just that the risks are different. Having them young means there is a higher chance of making serious emotional developmental mistakes in raising them because the parents are still immature. Having them later increases the likelihood of leaving them through death or burdening them with your own health issues before the child reaches maturity. If you feel you still have a good 30+ healthy and vital years left to devote to a child - go for it!

[@MelaniaRose]

Women have been having children in their 30s & 40s for generations. In a lot of cultures it’s not taboo to have kids that age it’s considered a blessing.

[@jennychurchill2716]

I was called a geriatric Mother when I had my first and only baby at 30.

[@Sonoragrove4]

Prayed so hard for my almost 40 yr old son to find someone to start a family. He finally met an incredible woman who is 37 , she too always wanted a family but thought it wouldn’t come to her. They are now pregnant naturally and we are so over joyed for them. I had all 4 kids by 27 and married 40 years. Times have changed for sure ❤

[@c.carter7219]

There’s many more rules and laws protecting children! It’s not as easy as before. Having four children in the 80s was so different than now. That life is a dream now.

[@Fabeli18]

Had my first at 42 naturally and everything went smoothly.

[@AmieMorgan-ur1pq]

Have kids whenever you feel it's right. Not really any one else's business!

[@EnhancedSimplicity]

EXACTLY!!! 💯 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@GregSole]

That's a really ignorant take on it. It impacts on other people so it is their business. It's not a bad thing to think of the impact of your choices on others.

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@GregSoleit only impacts incels and no one cares 😂

[@nber1954]

​@@GregSoleits none of your business went a woman decides to use her reproductive organ!

[@beaulieuc8910]

rubbish. it is the kid's business. as the child of an older parent I do not recommend having an older parent, it is no fun having your dad die just before xmas while being a kid. parents are very very selfish, and onl y think about them. I don't get on with my mother.

[@yeshalloween]

I’m 42, pregnant with my 5th. Naturally conceived. Had my 4th at 40

[@Erlymroz]

What’s your diet like? Omg share your routine because I want to be that fertile

[@diopfifi4937]

Very fertile ❤😂

[@user-np2dp8ck4j]

5?????? Ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@n451a]

Congratulations. Wishing you all the best.

[@No-xs1no]

Ever heard of Overpopulation? So selfish smh

[@erikapuno3163]

I gave birth to my first child at 36 and my second one at 41. They are both happy and healthy girls. ❤

[@nuranur4093]

🥰😃

[@moosepatil5946]

It took 30 years to unpack my trauma and be anything remotely close to a parent. Younger me would have ruined any child I thought I wanted.

[@wishingonthemoon1]

Sixties and seventies is too late I think, but I’d rather have parents who actually knew how to take care of themselves and were emotionally mature. My parents started having kids at 30, and I think that was the right choice. When they tell me about how they were at 22, 25, 27, I can’t imagine being raised by those people. They’re different, and dare I say quite irresponsible, people.

[@daus6035]

That a bit harsh I had my first one at 23, 24, and 27 and have been married now for 24 years and have dedicated my life to my children to say that parents in their 20’s are irresponsible is wrong. People have children when they are ready weather it be in their 20’s or later each to their own

[@truthspeaker8863]

@@daus6035 it's not wrong and it's more likely that a parent in their 20s is more immature than a parent in their 30s. This is not debatable. You can't even rent a care until you are 25 in the U.S... You aren't thinking critically.

[@gillianmillington7735]

I had mine at 16 ,you are very rude.

[@truthspeaker8863]

​@@gillianmillington7735 My mom had a child at 17 and 35. Guess which child had the much better life and outcome? take a wild guess.

[@williamnelson2228]

This is an important point. My parents had me at 23, they were still just babies themselves and made some serious mistakes as they just didn't have the emotional maturity to handle child rearing. They had my sibling when they were in their 30s and did much better as they'd grown up a lot. Our brains don't even fully develop until around age 25 so it seems sensible to hold off until 30 or so (for most people).

[@Jingasol]

Watching this with My daughter I had at 42

[@kakish612]

Me too…had my first baby when I was 39… conceived naturally..I had given up the hope of getting pregnant by then… I hope this gives some hope to women who are trying to get pregnant at a later age

[@alessandraferrara240]

I had my child at 40 , now she is 8 and we are truly happy. If l could go back l will do the same. I did so much in my life and now l have still a lot of energy for my adventures child. I wish the best to all mums of any age.

[@little_miss_muffet]

I am 40 and just started trying for my first child, having finally found the right partner. I own my own home, have travelled the world, have a good career and have built up decent savings. I am so ready. ❤

[@loveyourketo1433]

Sums it up pretty well

[@diopfifi4937]

Good luck. It will happen ❤

[@little_miss_muffet]

@@diopfifi4937 Thank you so much ☺️

[@leylove13]

All the best dear

[@liubovpiano9573]

I’m pregnant with first baby at 39😏

[@victoriaporsiempre]

Congratulations 🎉wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy!❤

[@latticeapplepie]

@@3questo699 Did she say it was? You seem to be projecting your own issues,

[@a.y.greyson9264]

@@3questo699Quite so. Especially since life spans are predicted to jump 30 extra years due to AI solving diseases at a faster rate.

[@beaulieuc8910]

why

[@prima-madalina]

@@3questo699 it’s not a flex, it’s her real life 😂

[@MsEKN]

I just had my first baby last July and celebrated my 40th birthday in December. My husband and I now have a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Everyone’s path is different, and honestly I wouldn’t have wanted ours any other way.

[@shiellaaa]

How are the nights for you? Im scared to bear a child because at age 40 you need to be sleeping well already. I feel old

[@PriyaPP7]

I had my first at 39, and have recently had my 2nd at 43. I agree with the fact that women place priority on growing their careers and taking time to find their life partner. I didn't marry until i was 37 and am pleased that I waited. I'm grateful to have also travelled extensively and relocated globally several times in my 20's and 30's and had all that experience before starting a family.

[@mikethemechanic7395]

Smart!

[@Makinen689]

THIS! Exactly! Experience life before giving birth to another life.

[@brontec9769]

agreed! Having a child later in life makes me feel like I'm not missing anything and I can focus on her 100%

[@BBCWorldService]

kzbin.info I hope you're well. I wondered if I might be able to speak with you regarding a programme we are currently working on? Thank you.

[@funmilayoolukanni3338]

Smart!!!

[@VN-gf3nw]

My mom had me at 23. She just wanted to fit in really not to become a mom at that age. She was a terrible mother to me, cold and avoidant, she was just never there for me. I had been sexually abused by a family member for 3 years on a regular basis and she just never found out when it occurred right in front of her almost. My grandma took care of me mostly. Mom had another child later in life and is just like a different person to him, she had him when she was ready to be a mother. Honestly, I'd rather have a much older mom who's warm and caring than a younger one who's been forever annoyed by your presence in her life. I'd love to take care of an older but warm and caring mom in return.

[@WinstonOnBoard]

I can’t relate, however I wanted to wish you continued growth in your personal life. Glad you see right vs wrong

[@ciarakristos111]

❤ So sorry to hear about what you suffered with your family.

[@katharina1439]

Just got my baby at almost 40yrs. BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME❤ Yes I've wanted to become a mother earlier but i haven't found the right partner. My health is AMAZING❤ My baby is amazing❤ healthy, beautiful, perfectly developed ❤ But I do fasting, heavy metal detox, personal development,... I'm the best I've ever was😊 And i wanna have another child❤

[@le3336]

Adopting ppl that want to be adopted is a good idea for many that are content with the responsibility and doesn’t require pregnancy

[@daus6035]

I’m happy for you enjoy ❤ I’m 44 and my youngest is 17 😂 I enjoyed them when they were toddlers such a fun time ❤

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@le3336then do it! But it’s not meant for everyone

[@krox477]

Don't you feel tired caring for the baby

[@iii.....]

Bravo Katharina you give me hope

[@dianegron]

Don’t know what y’all talking about. Since childhood I’ve known of women giving birth from early 20’s up to mid 50’s. Older generations had no contraceptive and no sterilization. You had siblings that could’ve been your parent. That’s way less common nowadays.

[@sonaliv1489]

True. My great grandfather had a baby, (my grand aunt), when his (son), my grandfather had his first born, (my dad.)

[@sonaliv1489]

All healthy.

[@cfromnowhere]

Before the pill, most women gave birth until menopause so having children at older age was not a new thing. What is new is that people become first-time mothers in their 40s near the end of their natural fertility and some use IVF to conceive after menopause.

[@zal5989]

😂 welcome to social media and new age where everyone have opinion and at the same time forgets history. It irks people that women are making choice to have children young. So obviously it angers some people and have to criticize women.

[@dianegron]

@@zal5989 Don’t think so (that they’re angered) necessarily. To me, it’s evident that nowadays there’s a very unnecessary urgency to be original and come up with something new, as if a look at the past is ignorance. So much renaming and/or “rebranding” popular knowledge, and wanting praise for common practices. Also, related to this topic, it’s so obvious the conversation is made to support a lifestyle that prevents women to embrace maternity as an aspiration early on.

[@suziebest6871]

Sarah was 90 and Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born.

[@carolinemanuel5996]

Lmfao

[@user-np2dp8ck4j]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ruthkatui133]

😂😂😂😂

[@n451a]

Yes, but theirs was a case of infertility. They wanted to have children but couldn't.

[@nachannachle2706]

Amen.

[@juniper617]

My father was born in 1932 and his mother was 35. Women have been having babies into their 40’s forever; it’s having the *first* child later in life that’s notable.

[@ashleyreynoldsschneider3839]

For those who consider marriage before children, I think that also is a factor. People are getting married for the first time later in life, thus children would naturally come later. I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but throwing it out there.

[@whalesong4401]

I had my first baby at 30, second at 32 and now again at 34. Every pregnancy was great, each baby was born naturally with no complications and are healthy. I love them so much. ❤

[@tessamelchior8415]

Sounds amazing! I would love this as well. Plus, I would like to add my fourth and last baby at 36. I am turning 30, have a house and a good relationship, finished university plus all the other courses and studies, wrote some books, traveled the world, and did everything I wanted to do before getting pregnant. The only big problem we are having is renovations. We live in Spain and everything takes such a long time.. Plus, we have been scammed by ´builders´ a few times already. Initially we wanted to wait until all renovations were done, but I just don´t think this is duable. My guess is at this pace it will still take 5 years or so.. I can´t wait for that.. My eggs neither..

[@VictoriousSage]

Congratulations! But fertility is still good in that age bracket.

[@LC-nk5nr]

Congratulations! Can I ask what your diet is like and if you took any vitamins during pregnancy? I want to prepare as much as possible 💛

[@missaih]

I’m 38 and know I’m going to be a late mom, I made the choice to take care of my body/mind and live a healthy lifestyle so that I can carry my child when that time comes ❤ reading these comments make me happy

[@VAghahe1985]

My sister had her first child at 38, and the second at 41, both are healthy and intelligent.

[@cvoborongan9658]

My mom married at 34, she had me at 36. As a kid, people would assume that she was my grandma and I would always feel embarrassed and awkward. I was also a tiny bit envious that my classmates had a lot younger looking moms than my mom. But all of these feelings were just a phase. I love my mom so much. By Gods grace, she's now 74 and Im 38.

[@michelleg7]

My mom had me at 32 and she had issues with getting pregnant so I was the surprise of a life time for her. My mother is the same age as your mom so its ok for a mom to be older. There are things in this world that are not perfect but I love my mom to death as well. In all honesty you mom was still pretty young in my opinion but I don't have kids and I am in my 40's and I would like a child but not sure that will happen for me though. So I have to be ok with that.

[@ciarakristos111]

I had a comparatively older mother when I was at school too (compared to other kids' mothers), and I was self-conscious about it because she could have passed as my grandmother too. We also don't look alike. But I'm very grateful she's my mother and I'm grateful to have a mother, God bless her. ❤My mother married at 29 and struggled to conceive for about 7 years, until my eldest sister arrived. Then another sister until, lastly, she gave birth to me at age 44. 🎇

[@themalawiandiner180]

My mum had me at 35, now I'm 34, no kids and she's 69. I love my mum so much too.

[@phyllissasayeo1560]

My mom had me at 38. We had the same experience when we were kids, but like you said, It was just a phase. I love my mom so much, as she raised me without my father. She's now 70 and I'm 33. I only pray that she has a longer life so I can be with her more.

[@Frankiigii]

I had my first two children in my early 20s, now trying again at 37! Prayers would be very welcome :)

[@Kolobok725]

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🌼🌻🌹

[@Summerbaby247]

Had my 2nd baby at age 41 🤷🏿‍♀️ I enjoyed my child free 20s and 30s. I have plenty of energy and my babies are healthy 🙌🏿 there are risks, but I don’t think the risks are as common as originally stated. We’re much healthier now as humans.

[@SN-sz7kw]

I had my two daughters at 39 & 42. Luckily no issues conceiving. I was a MUCH better, wiser mother as a result. I’d had my adventures, had a decent income & more flexibility. I was ready, relaxed, & mature. It was much better for my girls - they are now good, capable people. The planet doesn’t need us to populate like rabbits all our lives.

[@lesliemoore1656]

I had my 2 children the first age 20, second 22, I was married at 19. Did not have a lot of money but I was able to stay home for 13 years. Now age 67, my children are now 45 and 47, six grandkids. I have no regrets that I started my family early.

[@EvaeAwake]

Your brain wasn’t even fully developed when you got married…

[@naturallybeautiful9109]

That is back in the day …

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

Good for you. Why you thought that we needed to know this here. I don’t know. 🙄

[@FreeSpirit47]

For so many women, their fertility rate might begin to drop at age 35. I'm well past 35. Still have not had any signs of menopause. I remain celibate as I'm single & won't risk becoming a single mum.

[@greencat1976]

Having a baby in your sixties or seventies is just crazy. Just because medicine can do it, doesn't mean that we should.

[@phimolenacukh]

Nobody say we should either

[@yuouyang4207]

Sometimes the people just want to prove that they can, and that’s off.

[@sonyasever7625]

if a person wants it, who are you to sAY THEM THEY ARE WRONG? it's their bodies! they don't rape, kill or beat anyone!

[@trildi]

Its' not, when we live to 100. We used to have babies at 15 when we lived to 30-40.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

My friend had a surprise baby naturally at 57 last year! She's in great shape but was shocked. She's truly a freak anomaly.

[@SharAyeria]

Reading these comments put a huge smile on my face. Im almost 38 and have no kids

[@lilylily6422]

❤ yes but dont relax coz time waits for no one. Pray & act on it. God will surely bless u.

[@jessicaswaine8855]

I just want to say thank you to everyone who have shared their stories! I'm 30 and have a lot of health problems I'm not even well enough to hold a full time job right now let alone have a family. I'm doing everything I can to get better but the biological clock scares me. You're responses have really helped to reassure me so thank you again!

[@olusolaoyadina5187]

Please dear, don't worry yourself sick, focus on yourself first especially in terms of HEALTH, afterall it's the uptmost WEALTH! Also, while that should be at the top, try and look for the right partner, this ultimately determines how your future will be, look for the core values in a man , trust me, no matter what, with the right one, future battles will be half won. I sincerely pray for Strength, Healing, Wisdom and Peace. Come back in few years time with ypur testimonies.❤

[@crulova3776]

I wish you well and a lot of health 💪🏻 take care

[@cindyvialle8071]

May I suggest you to start charting your cycles. With the Creighton Model System. Love it!

[@nuranur4093]

Your body is incredibly smart and resilient! Give it a time, it will heal itself and let your dearest wishes come true! (Same here, biological clock thing scares shit out of me, have panic attacks time-to-time, but this is a socially-conditioned brain which is panicking).

[@EvaeAwake]

If your illness could be passed on to children then don’t have them. It’s selfish and you’d be forcing suffering on your children. Foster or adopt instead.

[@erindabney2758]

It’s too easy to destroy a family. So many of us “younger” people come from situations where one of our parents wasn’t around much, if at all, or where were rarely saw and therefore aren’t close to extended family. Maybe we’re unwilling to bring new lives into families that have a high chance of falling apart.

[@simba8665]

Not really. Y’all just picky and overthink everything today. Our parents married young and turned out just fine

[@cheesewithxbread]

No they didn't. High domestic violence rates, high infidelity rates, high divorce rates, high child abuse rates, high sexual abuse rates, etc. ​@@simba8665

[@carolinebordignon]

@@simba8665many didn’t! Mine didn’t.

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@simba8665 incel spotted

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@simba8665 Well.. if you made this type of comment..

[@XtineJohnes]

I couldn’t take the chance of my kids falling into the hands of my abusive parents somehow. I had nightmares about this. Now it will never happen as my abuser has passed away. Now it is safe to have kids.

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

I’m so sorry you went through that

[@luvlay1]

This is so very deep but I understand 🫂

[@user-jp6me1by7y]

So sorry you had to live through the abuse from your parents, good luck!

[@habesha7777]

Sad to hear that. I’m glad things are better now. Wishing you the best 💗

[@luciemarama7923]

Women are not CHOOSING to have babies later. The society has pushed women to have babies late because it is clearly impossible to own a house, be secure and have a career at the age of 22 🤬 And I am not talking about women, I am talking about men who need to do this in order to become good fathers and that usually happens in late 30s or early 40s. That is why their partners/wifes can only have children at this age! I cant believe women in this debate do not realise this 🤯🤯🤯🤦🏻‍♀️

[@btay1305]

I'm 38, 16 weeks, and having my first child. 😊

[@Eveluna-gm6es]

The truth is that men also have the same big question about having kids, it is not only up to a wish to have kids, it is about creating a solid family. There is no right age, I am a mom in my 40s and I am happy that I found a responsible and supportive husband, I knew that I was not going to settle for less. If you are reading this, find someone who envision a family and not a culture target, if the government demands babies then they should invest in families, social issues, cybersecurity, safety, health care, parental leave, and continuously assess the issues trends.

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

solid stable partner is goal number 1 for this issue.

[@cherylrich7624]

The social economic pressures placed on people have been a menace to society and have brought a lot of fear, especially to our newly young challenged generation.

[@zal5989]

People will blame women for not marrying young and having kids at young age. But suppose a women married young, had kids young but husband was bad partner who abandoned them. These same people will blame women for choosing bad partner.

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

@@zal5989 because a lot of times the dude is long gone and no where to be found. You can never know, but you can vet them big time before. Being the kind of person you would want is also a first step. Are you unstable? Then, that will be magnified x 10 in a parenthood.

[@annapierce1491]

I married at 22 and had my children at ages 24, 25, and 28. I stayed home for 10 years. Now I’m 45 with one left in high school and 2 at college. Our parents are in their 60s and in good health. We are looking forward to some fun years ahead!

[@daus6035]

Oh wow similar to me I had mine at 23,24 and 27 I am 44 married 24 years and two boys in college and my daughter in high school nice to meet you ❤😊 I don’t regret one bit that I dedicated my life to bringing up my children I have done things on the side and completed my college. Best of luck 😊

[@annapierce1491]

@@daus6035 Thank you! I feel the same way about prioritizing my family- no regrets!

[@rpaafourever7908]

So what? There are other positives that far outweigh the negatives. Older mothers are smart, wise and have loads more patience. Research shows that kids born to older mothers are more intelligent and the mothers too tend to have later menopause with better hormonal profile and live longer. Funny how people who don’t have the experience of being an older mother are quick to congratulate themselves on their life decisions on a post about “late” motherhood 😂

[@rpaafourever7908]

Older mothers have had their share of unadulterated fun for decades 😂 they’ve also had the time to build solid relationships with their partner, families and sisterhood and time to dedicate to that and themselves in a lot of important ways. They have likely travelled, built a career and have a good sense of themselves. My mother did all that before she had me at 42 and I’m grateful for that. Point is fun means different things for different people, my mother derived her happiness from raising us, after she had her youthful fun and all that it entails. Good for her I say.

[@annapierce1491]

@@rpaafourever7908 That’s great- your mother had her fun first and I will have my fun afterwards. We are both happy with our choices and having fun!

[@sonialupish2017]

Had my last one at 43. Naturally conceived. My Dr said 5% chance...well my 5% is now 10 and gorgeous 😍

[@CRBungalow]

As a child of an older mom, It's not as fun for the child as you think it might be. unless you managing to stay in amazing shape you won't be able to play with your child like you think you can. I remember so many times when I wanted to do something with my mom but couldn't because of her age. And my mom was in good shape. I am 29 now and have to live with my mom because she can not live alone. It makes dating again really difficult and in general inviting people over.

[@naightengale101]

I'm 47. Still hopeful of having my own child. I've had at least 4 friends who've had their first child in their 40s. One had her first at 45. All naturally conceived, all children normal by all markers.

[@user-lb5tt3rb2t]

I conceived naturally at 42 years old, we both are healthy.

[@beaulieuc8910]

It is very selfish to have a kid late, i was the child of an old parent who died while I was a kid a few days before xmas . then I had to put up with years of terrible boyfriends my mother had. Parents never think about the kid, they think they will love having an older parent but they will feel always anxious, and should they suruve will have to look after them while they are young. older parents have less energy

[@naightengale101]

​​@@beaulieuc8910 I'm really sorry you went through what you did. As a teacher for over 24 years, I've taught and interacted with over 2400 children and I've seen children lose young parents while still in school and before they hit other major milestones. I've also seen older moms raise fine young adults and live to see their grandchildren. Life expectancy is also increasing. These days, older women desirous of having a child, prepare themselves differently for pregnancy, childbirth and for the long haul. Aside from accidents which can happen to anyone, I think it's important to avoid many of the toxins around us, which accumulate in our bodies, predispose us to disease and affect our egg quality as we age. It would increase the likelihood of a longer life. That being said, I hope that your dad has left you with memories which you can treasure.

[@krishnagondhea7428]

@@beaulieuc8910 but it’s natures will. Energy? Start doing some proper yoga. Eat good food. Vitamins. All will be well.

[@adminsaharasscouk]

Me too have the same hope now at 47, pray for both of us and all women to make it true 🤲

[@CitiesForTheFuture2030]

One may never be too old for a baby, but perhaps one can be too old to handle a teenager & young adult when they're going on dates & staying out until 2 am when they call you to collect them from a nightclub, getting bullied or getting into trouble or drugs, starting a career and a family - that's when your kids need you the most. Kids are babies for 9 months, a toddler for 2 years & a child for 9... the easy part (parents control everything). They're teenagers for 5 years, young adults for 3 and adults for about 70 years. Parents make the mistake of thinking they want a "baby" or a "child"; what we are actually doing is raising adults (emotional turmoil, bullying, financial stress re student loans & cost of living, family drama, teenage pregnancy, divorce, GBV, moving back home when things go wrong etc - that's what parents need to prep for. Diaper changes, teething, potty training, terrible 2s, tantrums, primary school - that's the "easy" part... I'm not saying the early stuff is easy, but easy compared to the hardship of trying to get started in life as a young adult nowadays.

[@saminjoon3409]

i lost my parents early. Your comment is so true and to the point. I have suffered in all the stages of my life and still suffering.

[@sharinaross1865]

What is GBV short for

[@dicle5719]

Well said👏 exactly

[@CitiesForTheFuture2030]

@@sharinaross1865 GBV = gender- based violence... anything from exploitation & trafficking, rape, domestic violence, emotional or financial control, murder etc. I think the global stats are about 1 in 3 girls / women will experience some form of abuse / violence / death. Men can also experience such things, but women & girls bear the brunt of a violence world.

[@CitiesForTheFuture2030]

@@saminjoon3409 i'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. I lost my dad in my 20s. There are no guarantees in life unfortunately (one of my school friends lost her husband in a car accident when she was 25; she had 2 young kids). I hope you have a good support structure... we can still make our own families later in life via friends & relatives. My main point was that when considering starting a family is to think past raising babies & small children because that's over very quickly. Raising young adults & standing by your kids as adults is for the rest of your life. Parenting doesn't end when the kid is 21...

[@colleenmurrell7438]

I was called a geriatric mother in my NHS notes. After multiple miscarriages I had my first baby at 38 and my second 39 (both conceived naturally). I was appalled when I read this and I do think it affects how you are treated. My mother had first child at 32 and her last child (me) at 45.

[@prim.an.propher1505]

We have a 16 year old and now I am pregnant at 41. This child will be born the week of my 42nd bday and I feel blessed. I realized that more of my peers are having children later in life. My grandmother had my mom at 44. I do not see an issue with having children at any stage of life as long as the child can be provided for

[@bancymunene2960]

In African culture our grandma's who are above 75 now had at least 10 kids in a span of like 25-30 years which means even if they had their first kid at twenty , the last child was born when they were almost 50

[@catiemsimpson]

I had my first pregnancy at 23 and now my 9th pregnancy at 40. 2 of those have been miscarriages. My mom did t go through menopause until her 50s. So I’m seeing the natural pattern of having children goes into a woman’s 40s much of the time. Let’s normalize the natural fertility of women!

[@t.8936]

This is my normal as well. All the women I grew up with had babies in their 20's and kept having them into their 40's. Without birth control this is just the NATURAL way. I don't condemn women for being on birth control, mind you I see it as harmful in my personal opinion, but maybe we should stop making it sound like it's ABNORMAL to have babies at any of these ages. Because it totally is.

[@gabrieleelenapuisyte4928]

I hope I am not the only one, who thinks that women want to not only afford to have a child but actually raise a good person, who would be part of a better world. And definetely older woman has more wisdom. Young parents may be better for the physical health, but older parents will have much richer life experience

[@mariaperez3040]

I totally agree with you!!

[@cg8397]

No, the older life experience is got from the involvement of grandparents.

[@soydansogukcesme470]

If what you saying is true.. Why do so many mothers ignore their sons? Give too little love, affection, touch, both physically and emotionally, embarrass and shame you at the slightest trifle, expose you, or if the boy wants to move forward in life, you don't allow him to do it and hold him back or manipulate him and don't allow him to develop and so he loses the need to make something of himself. And will be exactly what you women are crying about. Where's all the good men go..

[@poollife777]

All women have more maturity when they're older so give me a break.

[@gabrieleelenapuisyte4928]

@@soydansogukcesme470 I did not say anything regarding what you are talking - any age women could be cold mother dor that matter. My main point for example I am mich wiser being 32 than I was 22. If I would have a child at that age. Not sure what person that child would be. Of course some women already very mature from very young age. But for me it makes sense why a women would want to do it later

[@Kiriza22]

My mother gave birth to 12 children. All born and concieved naturally. She had the last at 50!

[@crd9551]

I'm 36 with a paid off house, travelled extensively, built a nice career, dealt with all my traumas and emotional issues, married the perfect guy, and about to have my first baby in about 3 weeks. There's no other time in my life I would have wanted children but now. I'm ready to meet my son and I'm very happy with the person he's going to meet.

[@KineticSoul2]

I had my beautiful daughter at 46. Never thought I would do this at this age, but when circumstances presented with a willing partner and I had always wanted children, combine that with the innovations in science, and whah! It’s is so hard but it’s also the best thing I have ever done. We have more embryos in ice and I’m trying to decide if I’m willing to go through it again at 48-49. 🤔 I’m sure some things would have been easier when I was younger, but I know without a doubt that I’m a much better mom in my mid 40s than I would have been in my 20s or even 30s. Blessings to all the “older” moms out there!

[@robynlea6950]

What a wonderful story 😊.

[@suzyterry7820]

If you don't choose to carry these little embryos, adoption is always a beautiful choice. National Embryo Donation Center has placed over 1300 of these little ones in adoptive families with both open and closed adoptions.

[@KineticSoul2]

@@suzyterry7820 thank you! We will definitely look consider and look into this. 🙏🏼

[@asm-6547]

How you gonna be 60+ at your kids high school graduation.

[@beaulieuc8910]

it is all about you. It is not about the kid who may have the parents die early

[@SingKiaMuze]

Just had my first last year at 50.

[@PandaA-cv3mm]

Congratulations. That’s amazing! Any complications? Very inspiring. Thank you 🙏💜🥰

[@beaulieuc8910]

very selfish

[@naightengale101]

Congratulations!!! Best wishes for many years of wonderful adventures and memories 🎉🎉🎉

[@SingKiaMuze]

@PandaA-cv3mm no complications thank God, textbook pregnancy, scheduled c-section delivery. Baby boy is healthy and 💪 strong . I feel very blessed. He is the best thing to ever happen in my life.

[@krishnagondhea7428]

Own egg?

[@Sophie-db1ko]

The topic is addressed like we have complete control over our lives. It’s just harder to meet people nowadays, not to mention people that want the same thing as you. It just takes longer to find a fit.

[@obehioyemwimina1311]

Miracle babies!!! God is showing His Glory 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 With God, there is no such thing as it’s too late or impossible (Matthew 19:26).

[@changsan608]

Education system could be the main factor of older mother or late marriage. In this world getting education and stable job becoming compulsory to run a family.

[@chrisli9685]

And why are women always attacked over this? Some women like myself have not found a suitable man to have children with and thus in my case, I have given up on a lot of things I wanted. My mother got cancer when I was 35, so I quit everything and took care of her. I also was young during the Great Recession in the US so getting job employment equal to my educational level was lacking. The truth is I wanted to be a wife and mother, but it was not in the cards. I am just suffering in life and waiting to die. Men are never attacked about their contribution or lack thereof when it comes to all of this. Why are they unable to make a life long commitment, why can they not be abusive etc. Granted, not all men are abusive, but I ended up dating one who was that way. I am treated like I am weird in my so called family. I was recently called a "free spirit" by my mother's sister which was highly offensive to me. I didn't choose to not be married; it chose me. I was not willing to just settle for someone for one. No one ever asked me to marry, and I'm tired of the disappointment of it all. I'm also sick of a society that puts the blame exclusively on women.

[@marcvb3364]

You're complaining about a generalization, generalizing the behaviour of men you've dated. Doesn't make any sense.

[@jamiecare1042]

💯 this. People assume all women who have children late or don’t have children planned it that way. Which is judgmental and plain wrong, given all the things which need to align to get pregnant with the right partner within the fertility window. I’m sorry for your griefs.

[@whitneyanders5945]

Because this is an issue where everyone lacks common sense and applies their own lived experience to the subject. The emotions cloud their judgement where they should realise we are all different and have varying timelines.

[@t.8936]

It's never too late. Just keep manifesting what you want!

[@EternalflameC.L.]

Nobody attacking you ,chill!

[@deer.4651]

Im 35 and starting now. Ill come back to this comment when im pregnant. Prayers to eveyone trying or already pregnant 🙏🏾

[@Neophema]

My grandmother had her first child at 33 in 1956. She'd been with my grandfather since her late teens, but they wanted to wait and live a little first. She had her third and last child at almost 41.

[@norahn4078]

Women in this country and more widely infact, get zero education about how our bodies actually work. Maintaining and improving egg quality is something that should be taught from an early age as infertility knows no age. If you have a poor diet and suffer from chronic stress, these contribute to poorer egg quality. Women should be empowered to learn about how our environment, mental wellbeing, exercise and nutrition makes a very real difference in our fertility and the quality of our eggs. Saying 35 is a statistical cliff fall completely ignores the circumstances behind the fact that women have had no education about maintaining fertility to begin with. You can be 45 and be perfectly fine if you’ve looked after yourself and made well informed decisions about your overall health. Public policy should talk about essential nutrients that women should focus on from puberty onwards. Egg freezing doesn’t guarantee anything, is expensive and your body goes through a lot to artificially extract several eggs. The thawing process and % of successful transfer is something that’s more widely discussed within IVF circles but not emphasised enough when women are told to just freeze their eggs and expect success later on.

[@msdemeanor6057]

You realize that women are born with all our ova? There isn’t any “fix” to egg quality with diet or lifestyle choices. Unlike men who manufacture sperm throughout their adult lives. I’m so tired of reading these one-sided screeds that tend to put the onus of self health onto women. It takes two to make and rear a healthy human.

[@mariahsabar3969]

What are some of the foods that are good?

[@whitneyanders5945]

Coenzyme Q10 is a good one to look into for egg quality

[@whitneyanders5945]

Considering many women don’t understand the difference between vagina and vulva, I agree… so many women have no idea about fertility, their reproductive organs and how to ensure good egg quality.

[@rosmarbal]

Nonsense. There is no science to back this up

[@AlfredOrcaCat]

I was 41 when I gave birth to my first. Experienced placenta abruption due to my age. Thankfully my son made it through. In my case it wasn’t a choice. Went through numerous and painful unsuccessful fertility treatments spanning years. I had just been gifted a baby at a later age. It does have its benefits: financial stability & maturity. Although it also has drawbacks: physical challenges.

[@LisaCulton]

If the abruption was due to your age, then every 41 year old pregnant woman would experience placental abruption. Yet, they don't. Food for thought.

[@aminaa7909]

@@LisaCultonwow research and statistics show higher risk and possibility for older moms!! Humans age do you get that?!

[@LisaCulton]

@@aminaa7909 No, I don't get it. I'm not into deterioration like you apparently are. 👍

[@Nana-uo2th]

Magnesium,Iodine and Vitamin D deficiencies play a huge part in this and female fertility in general. After years of infertility I learned about this. Finally fell pregnant naturally and gave birth easily and no medical interventions at 42. Doctors told me last month that if I do not get on birth control, I WILL fall pregnant again. I am 45 now .

[@LisaCulton]

@@Nana-uo2th Exactly!!

[@gabak1292]

A friend of mine got pregnant at 54! She thought it was the Menopause. Her " Menopause" is now 10 years old!

[@TheStar798]

My Mum had me (her 3rd child) at 43 🤷🏾‍♀️ She and Daddy were patient, intelligent, calm and wise. I thank God every day for both of them - even as a child I saw the difference in mindset, time spent with me, disposable income and the morals we were given, to my peers (every single boyfriend and friend was jealous of me having the parents I had) They were so accomplished in their careers and life experiences that I knew I could do and be anything, and deserved love, respect, kindness and romance from partners (and learned the blueprint of how to give all of that back) .... Older parents rock 😂

[@laurayoung9485]

There's always been millions of older moms, so many woman in their 40's, 50's and older that are taking on the mothers role when their own kids aren't ready/able to parent their kids. Whether you birthed the kid or not what's the difference. Older moms is nothing new.

[@elisabethm9655]

As a 72 yo grandmother currently caring for her 5 grandchildren under the age of ten, I can definitely reinforce the idea of an upper limit. Their mum is in hospital and will be coming home soon, but I’m exhausted! ❤we’re a family of long generations however, one of my daughters had her first at 44 and her husband is 48 … so yes, she’s caring for a newborn and treating wrinkles at the same time.😸

[@rpaafourever7908]

So there should be an upper limit because you are exhausted? Have you considered that your daughter may not have felt emotionally mature enough (wonder why..)to have kids before the age of 44?

[@aleciacrooks7554]

Yes, grandmothers actually don’t have the energy to care for 5 children under 10 yrs old. The original post expressed a reality currently being lived and the challenges involved. The person responding must lack empathy and consideration, even accountability to discount, minimize and dehumanize grandma’s shared experience. Wishing the highest good and sending love to both.

[@aleciacrooks7554]

Still, the last sentence was killer. Grandma also has a good sense of humor. May God continue to Bless her!

[@rpaafourever7908]

@@aleciacrooks7554 Grandma's not being empathetic if she is talking about an "upper limit" for another human being's decisions about their fertility/body is she? She is well within her rights if she didn't want to help, that's the only thing she controls not other people. And what I said is true, most women who put off childbirth in my generation are doing it to heal their trauma so they can be good mothers. That's ALSO someone's reality currently being lived and the challenges involved. Acknowledging that and not making indirect comments would be you know.. empathetic and considerate of you..

[@Gina-Montana]

I had my first at 18, 2nd at 26, and 3rd at 29. I am a 49 year old grandmother now and there is no way on earth I would want to start a family at this stage of my life. My husband and I are now free to travel and spend adequate, quality time with one another, and have the means to do so. All of our children are very well-adjusted, productive adults, despite having raised them for most of their lives in a lesser financial position than we are in now. There was quality over quantity, and an abundance of love. Kudos to any woman my age and older wishing to start a family so late, but my husband and I both often say how grateful we are that we started so early. No matter the age, motherhood is such a wonderful gift. Being a grandparent is equally rewarding. My husband and I are at the age where we can be very active with our one and only granddaughter, but we are also equally worn out (much more than we ever were during parenthood with 3) when our visits have ended 😂

[@AnonymousOnimous]

I'm 30, no children. One of my greatest concerns about having children - even though I knew I wanted to be a parent since I was 12 - is isolation. So many women I know have struggled with feeling like they have to manage their male partners, their households, full time employment, and parenting. The feeling of being alone in a marriage and as a parent, of being unable to take a break, genuinely haunts me. I love having time for my hobbies, I've always had difficulty sleeping according to standard hours as I'm a "night owl", and even though I have a masters degree, I've tried and failed to get a decent job in my field for 15 months. In an ironic twist, my field in is climate and disaster resilience. The idea of having children is so distant that it almost seems like it might not happen. And I know there are many, many women and gender queer people my age who feel the same thing.

[@merlyncostalesdelacruz7048]

i was the last child in my family my mom had me when shes 45 .now im 52 and a grandma of 2 beautiful grandkids i get pregnant at the age of 19 .life ups and down but i manage to support my kids .