ADHD Life Lesson 47

ADHD Life Lesson I wish someone told me after getting diagnosed, number 47 of 50
If you have ADHD you will often say yes to everything only to end up sabotaging yourself. No matter what people ask, you often don’t take the time to reflect on your own feelings and prioritise the wants of others only to end up regretting it. Whether it’s going to a party you really don’t have the energy for or taking on more than you can handle at your job, you always end up completely drained but then repeat the same cycle.
This is when I had to learn about setting boundaries on things that drain my energy and the power of authenticity. I realised that, in order to not burn out in the short-term I need to know what my limits are and create certainty for myself by starting with the end in mind. For example, if I go to a party that I know will drain me because I need to mask, I now know when I will leave beforehand and communicate this openly. And it turns out that setting boundaries, actually leads to people respecting you more, since you’re respecting yourself.
Which ironically enough, allows me to actually enjoy myself.
Lesson 47: Start with the end in mind.
Disclaimer: All my content is based on my own experience and/or research/observations from licensed professionals. Just because you do these things, doesn’t necessarily mean you have ADHD. If you think you might have it, please look to get officially diagnosed by a professional.

[@hollow34]

My wife bought me a t shirt that says "no i will not fix your laptop". I was being taken advantage of so many times. 10 years later, now i know why i find it so hard to say no.

[@SteveBufz]

Aww thats so sweet.

[@Cobalt_11]

Thank you. I've avoided these types of videos out of some sort of fear but theyve really helped me reframe a lot of my behaviors and allowed me to make small but consistent changes in my life.

[@LaceR.Griffin]

I hydrate and eat a really healthy meal before parties, this helps keep my blood sugar balanced and prevents me from consuming party food AND alcohol because once I start eating and drinking I don't stop (because it's a cheap method of dealing with social anxiety) and the heavy sugar, salt, and alcohol wear out my senses and I have to leave so I can have a meltdown without making a really uncomfortable scene at the party. Also, as a result of eating that healthy meal ahead of the party, I know when to leave once I start to feel hungry.

[@FeminineLogos]

Omg I feel bad when I eat before parties, I even stop eating a day before. Thank you.

[@magueysunset]

I liked that meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels. Helped with detaching from negative thoughts and the desire to be liked.

[@renel7303]

Ages ago in my mid 30s I was getting a promotion from being a store assistant manager to having my own store. One of our sales ladies was in her late 60s, still needing to work. Before leaving she took me aside and told me that when I got to the new store to "don't be so effing nice." That the girls walked all over me. Oh, she used the full word. 😊 Miss you Roma. And yeah, I have been too effing nice most of my life. Sigh.

[@SaltAndVinegar42]

The coffee is a very important item in every video. That's how it always starts 😅

[@MaddoBatto]

ADHD life lesson #0: Caffeinate

[@edainari]

I love this man. He has helped me SO much. And yes, he described it all perfectly.

[@kateashby3066]

Yes! One of the best things I’ve done for my mental health is to pause by saying “let me get back to you on that”. Or making myself a note to respond to that text later after thinking on it. :)

[@milamoon777]

You are so right. I promised so many things to my clients that I should not have. If I took time to think it over, it wouldn't happen. We feel that urgency inside to answer or do and it's a false urgency the most of time...

[@evezford]

I’m the opposite bc I’m so disorganized and always running so far behind that I can’t catch up and have no time for anything but work, sleep, cook, clean, repeat.

[@melindawestbrook7286]

I say no to absolutely everything! I don’t feel bad!😅

[@Rannsaka]

Got diagnosed some year ago, but i always was taken advantage of and never getting the same in return.. but eventually i tired because of it and didnt help people 24/7, appearently it's not so fun to be my friend anymore

[@josiieize2.051]

Your true friends will stay with you!!

[@kayodudu5190]

Am learning boundaries now

[@milamoon777]

"Start with the end in mind"! SO HUGE for me. I realised theses days that when I start whatever ans especially work tasks I just can't imagine that picture where I have FINISHED the stuff...It's like if I was stuck forever in the process, doing that task and because of lot of procrastination never arrive to the end 🙈 And it's the same when talk, I talk for really longtime and don't know how to get to the end of my speech going on and on...Thank you so much. Yes! The end is the key!!!!!

[@AttacRacc]

my ADHD is so bad I can't sit through the entire short half the time :,D I still love this guy's content though it's extremely relatable!

[@kelvinengland3991]

I need some help. I'm 40 years old and have recently found your videos and others like you. They have spoken straight to my soul. These things are me, it's like a lightbulb goes off over and over the more I learn about ADHD. I have found why I have struggled with things my whole life. I know this is why but where do I start? I need help in my life if these things I struggle with can be easier it could change my life and I don't have to be so stressed and worried.

[@Underneath.It.All.]

It’s a choice to learn a new way to live by developing healthy habits which takes time…we are not taught the Life Skills we need growing up…it is possible to live with ADHD without medication where your life is happy and manageable ❤

[@Steve211Ucdhihifvshi]

I learnt to just say no sometimes, even if you have time, no, i dont have time sorry, then take the time you would have used for someone that knows they are using you, for yourself. relax and breathe.

[@LilithSantiago]

I wish I could do that. I have the same problem but I don't think my friends or family will understand. Especially my parents. I would have to get along with my social anxiety to communicate that tho 😅

[@miaa5712]

Ughhhhh I always thought it was just me being a people pleaser

[@444DoubleD]

TRUTH! Love your suggestion. Thank u!

[@violetindigo8514]

Not anymore 😊 I learned to say n, priority myself and set my boundaries. I mean the last one is something I'm still learning but better something than nothing 😅

[@janeli1930]

I subscribed your channel because I want to understand more about my ADHD nephew but this lesson apply to me as well 😁

[@Heiscomingbacksoon7]

I ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️this channel. So well spoken, such good info. ❤️🌹💜🎊🌺

[@Renee_egan]

This sounds GAME CHANGING, and why Ive never really linked the two I dont know, I guess I just thought everyone was this way 😂

[@boserbeissbold1391]

sabotaging yourself.... so true...

[@YvonneWatson-ff5ex]

My latest ‘can’t say no’ episode happens in two weeks when I leave for an unwanted cruise for 2 weeks because I couldn’t say no AGAIN. I’m dreading every minute of it. 😢

[@bonitaclaireloveday-wp9rq]

Thank you Brother👏 Thank you 💚😊

[@jeangubar2132]

Love your videos! Great explanations

[@crushbrain2416]

Those twilight city views are gorgeous 🤩

[@neva_nyx]

Mmmmm, that coffee mug 😅❤

[@imen97]

Often, I try to say something in a hurry or reply to someone or ask a question and when I say it, it's a completely unstructured stupid sentenced that I never intended to say sometimes grammatically incorrect even and sometimes I say words that I didn't even think of (this happens in like milliseconds). It's so embarrassing!!!

[@TheHeisenberg1901]

Thank you for this!

[@crossXFaed]

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱. So beautiful. And boundaries, YES. This is what I'm actively focused on doing all day night everyday now and it really does feel different. 🙏🏻💙🩵💙🩵

[@stevenb1703]

Its all true but to add you are your limit i said yes i helped i did the work i had no energy for 😅 you will have more energy later your ability and tolerance will grow with the amount you end up learning to handle do your best all the time and never forget to be true to your self 😊

[@themysticmuse]

Love your channel.🙏🔥

[@gamerdweebentertainment1616]

Me starting to help people out recent year, again. After saying no so many times. This clip, fk... going backwards again, perhaps.

[@brianpendez5340]

That’s brilliant actually

[@meganwyatt1607]

Wow!

[@DocHempy]

I have ADHS and borderline Syndrome. This is Something, that happenens with both diagnoses and in my cas it makes it sometimes extreme hard.

[@MaddyFortunato]

I also don’t understand why people are like I wish I had ADHD

[@jbmuteboi2381]

Thnx a lot called me out on that one too

[@SunnyDallasRealtor]

Excellent

[@moz7173]

Love this X. Plus your Fred Perry obsession (I'm British ;)

[@JamesZ-py1xl]

Yes

[@SamaraHancock]

Put a finger down if you forgot to listen to the lesson bc you were distracted thinking about how uncomfortable it would be to drink out of that mug at the start of the video and how it reminds you of the forbidden big spoon. ... Yeah me too

[@Joywith3LastNames]

Why did this video come up before I had a chance to search for help on the same subject!?

[@EthicAura]

❤

[@K9monos]

I thought this was codependency, not a manifestation of ADHD. I relate to that though 😒

[@barb7821]

I am looking to access more interaction. How can I proceed to attain that and source this site and absorb full use of tools available.

[@samara19960]

My question is whyyyyyy do we do this?! Ugh 😩

[@vhelma21945]

It is our way .. the ADHD brain wants excitement (dopamine) and creates these terrible situations.

[@Devminny]

Is overthinking/underthinking everything a symptom of ADHD?

[@crushbrain2416]

🕺

[@MortynFriends]

What if everything drains my energy? What if every interaction with a human drains me?

[@winstoncoolidge1644]

Agree

[@FaithAndRepentance]

❤❤❤❤

[@Riku24100]

Hello,I have a litle question... I have ADHD and social anxiety, usually I end Burned Out of People and I can't socialice and spend one whole Day closed and sleeping, there is some way to improve it? I don't want to be useless for one full Day, but I don't Know how to gestionate my burns outs...

[@smoke12785]

Seek the help of a psychiatrist specialised in adult ADHD. What you are describing could also be SCT(sluggish cognitive tempo) but it is usually investigated aswell , since it's often confused with ADHD-Inatentive. Either way that's the best way to seek treatment.

[@Riku24100]

@@smoke12785 thank you very much for your advice, I'll try

[@Mudi2783]

I have a random question... I almost never get sarcasm right away... The penny drops after I respond serious to the person beiing sarcastic and they explain to me what they actually mean. Is this by any chance an adhd thing?😅

[@EverythingsEventuall]

Odc about the video, nice Casio though

[@user-sn4ue6ex4b]

😔

[@violetindigo8514]

Btw did someone tell you how handsome you are? It's really nice just to look at you 😁😍

[@NMnome-11]

Are you Polnisch?

[@mk29292]

Was I the only one annoyed that there were no subtitles?

[@jakefromstatepharm]

Has anyone felt their sense of self-worth is much lower than what others say or think? I am curious if this is just me or a part of add/adhd...

[@judymiller5154]

yes, for a lifetime, now 78 and it continues

[@chriscohlmeyer4735]

Too often we are our own worst critic. When someone praises us accept it and tell yourself "see, I'm better than I think". Put it in your memory bank to pull out when we go down that rabbit hole again.

[@user-ez6ds4sv4k]

To many reuploads

[@smoke12785]

Why don't you try non stimulant medication? It rarely has side effects and they are so much more tolerable, plus there is no crash afterwards. It's better than pretending that all these strategies avoid burnout and frustration. I find it offensive when someone with ADHD avoids taking medicine because of 1 bad experience in the past, when instead maybe they should have kept trying. My life has gotten so much better since i tried the least potent non stimulant medication.

[@jakefromstatepharm]

if i may ask, what do you use? i was curious about stim-meds but i do not want to get addicted and rely on meds to make it to the end...right now, i smoke the ganja which helps a lot of other things but i am not sure it helps with my "superpower".

[@violetindigo8514]

If you find offensive someone living their life the way THEY WANT TO than YOU need a therapy... Not everyone needs medication and not everyone wants to be medicated.

[@smoke12785]

@@violetindigo8514 I'm starting therapy soon , it's part of the healing process of ADHD, thanks to the flawless society that we live in , so I stop feeling so bad about myself and my underachieving problems.

[@smoke12785]

@@jakefromstatepharm If you suspect you have ADHD, I suggest you talk to a psychiatrist specialized in adult ADHD. They need to screen you first , and make sure you don't suffer from anything else. Taking ADHD medication when you have ADHD makes you more normal, but that means the world to most of us, whereas if you take it when you don't have ADHD it can lead to unpleasant side effects ,addiction and withdrawl symptoms if you stop taking it.

[@smoke12785]

@@violetindigo8514 It's not about the way he lives his life. It's about the fact that he is giving advice on how you should create all these little strategies around the problem. You probably don't have clinically diagnosed ADHD or at the very least don't know how much of a struggle even the simpler tasks can be. So when I say that i feel offended, I have a right to. Never once did he speak about the benefits of medication and therapy, and how they can literally turn your life around and make you more normal. Why bother with all that mostly useless crap that doesn't fix nor alleviate the problem, just work around it till you inevitably reach burnout again and again, when you could just treat it?

[@KLoveView]

Mind. Blown. It actually feels very exciting to hear someone explain me to myself 🫣

[@pbl777pbl]

Also i dont like labels or feeling like a victime the more i look at your vidéo i completly identify...🫂🇨🇵.

[@K9monos]

I thought this was codependency, not a manifestation of ADHD. I relate to that though 😒