Dyslexia's Ongoing Impact in Adulthood - The Most Insightful Explanation

Explaining dyslexia is often done by focusing on the dyslexic himself or herself. One might say dyslexics have trouble with phonemic awareness or the short-term memory of the dyslexic is affected. Comments like these are valid; however, they level out the influence of the effects of the social environment. Understanding the role of the social environment is important because it makes us realize that we are not THE problem. A variety of factors come together, resulting in a child who has trouble learning to read and write.
When we try to explain adult dyslexia, we need to consider typical childhood experiences. Because our childhood has a significant influence on the way we see ourselves, others around us, and the world as a whole. As children, we learned coping strategies that helped us deal with our situation. While growing up, our circumstances change, but our coping strategies tend to remain the same regardless. Realizing what exactly your own patterns are is the first step in making a positive change for yourself, and I hope this video has helped you do that.
⏰ Timetable:
00:00 - Intro
00:42 - Set Up for Failure
01:24 - Social Tensions
02:30 - The Emotional Side of things
03:17 - Dyslexia in Adulthood (unsupported at work)
03:46 - Positive Feedback versus Negative Self-image
05:38 - The Inner Dialogue
06:46 - Connecting the Dots
🙋🏼‍♂️ My name is Arije, and I am a dyslexic with an MA in Education Studies and I coach dyslexic adults. I aim to share all my tips for learning, coping, teaching, and more on my channel. For dyslexics, educators, and parents alike, I want to make videos that inform and inspire you to reframe dyslexia.
COACHING:
Have a look at my website: dehaas1on1.com
☕️ If you'd like to support me, feel free to do so one coffee at a time! via ko-fi.com/arije
Here's some of the literature I consulted to create this video:
Betz, D., & Breuninger, H. (1993). Teufelskreis Lernstörungen: theoretische Grundlegung und Standardprogramm. Beltz.
Fuller-Thomson, E., & Hooper, S. R. (2015). The association between childhood physical abuse and dyslexia: Findings from a population-based study. Journal of interpersonal violence, 30(9), 1583-1592.
Wissell, S., Karimi, L., Serry, T., Furlong, L., & Hudson, J. (2022). “You Don’t Look Dyslexic”: Using the Job Demands-Resource Model of Burnout to Explore Employment Experiences of Australian Adults with Dyslexia. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(17), 10719.
Alexander-Passe, N. (2015). Investigating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) triggered by the experience of dyslexia in mainstream school education. Journal of Psychology & Psychotherapy, 5(6), 1-10.
#dyslexia #mentalhealth #neurodivergent

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

I really hope this way of explaining dyslexia will help you as much as it helped me :)

[@seriousfam1341]

The clinical word didn't exist when I was in grade 2. My mother told the teachers: ''she is not repeating her grade 2, she is smarter than her classmates, you just need to know how to work with her because she pieces things together differently, so the nit-picking has to stop! '' I was one of the lucky ones! Now my daughter has dyslexia and before ever seeing this video, I preached similar words my whole life to educate my high school teachers, collage teachers, employers and anyone I had to collaborate with; now advocate for my daughter. Thank you so much for your hard work and the relevancy of your video

[@simonwelzmiller7275]

I got diagnosed with dyslexia during elementary school and made some therapy which didn't help so much. Got bullied by teachers in secondary school at the age of 10 and told that I'm stupid. Still made it through, though because I had good support and a therapy which helped with self esteem. In the end, I proofed them wrong and got a PhD in Chemistry with highest merits. I still strongly rely on digital spell checkers but getting along.

[@aaronag7876]

This is really interesting and one video I will have to watch a few times. As I need to give this my full attention. As a male in his 50s, I have only found out that I am dyslexic and have ADHD, so started the journey of accepting this and all those years of being called "Thick and stupid" were not true, but uneducated people not understanding these conditions. Primary School in London was hard and harder when sent to boarding school in the 70s and 80s, but adulthood even harder, due to the amount of studies and reading Im expected to do but "procrastinate" or avoid doing them. Im great with hands on, problem solving, investigating how things work, so very practical hands on but I have not passed an exam in my life. My long term memory is outstanding but short term is almost nonexistent. I really wanted to learn Polish, as my wife of 17 years is Polish but I cant speak more than a "hello", "how are you". I just cant recall any of the letters of the alphabet or numbers, if I was studying them an hour or a day ago, but ask me to count to 10 in Welsh, when I picked it up at the age of 13 years old, then I have no problems lol It is hard for us "old folk" lol with dyslexia to learn new things, so we avoid it or divert the attention to something else. Thanks for sharing

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Over the years I have also frequently been returning to this model to understand myselve and others with dyslexia better. And it seems like everytime I do that I get something new out of it. :)

[@ashley.g]

Negative emotions coming up with tasks I associate with difficult experiences as a child in school is definitely something I relate to. Even though it was probably a subconscious decision, I also did adopt a negative view of myself in order to avoid disappointment. And I do have that belief that I have to give 120% for what I do to be okay. Its an unrealistic expection that I can give 120% to everything, but it's hard to go against such long held beliefs and fears. But I am definitely seeing the consequences for my overcompensation because I am getting burnt out and fatigued. It's good to know we aren't alone in these experiences. The non-dyslexics that I've tried to explain some of my experience to find it really baffling. I might just send this to one of them because it explains it so well! It's also good to remember that even though it's hard to reevaluate and change these patterns, it is possible to find a new way. Thank you for another really meaningful and informative video!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you for writing this. For a lot of people, these things are probably subconscious, but if you realize it then you're already on the right track. Take care of yourself, it's hard to keep going while giving 120%.

[@craigmnelson86]

I've always struggled with writing, that's been my biggest weakness but with chat gpt I'm able to have it help me write things. I often take what i would write and have it rephrase things.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

me too! and grammarly now has this function built in--it has made my life so much easier because if I take something that has been reformulated, then i know that it's right

[@kel_sea_9273]

"proving those wrong who doubted you", this was an ode to my youth, and something I still carry with me but am working to foster in a healthier way. I now work with neurodivergent children, although I am new to exploring this realm, I see that there is so much to learn in relation to fostering excitement in their individual abilities, but to teach I must first learn. Thank you for this quality information, I can not wait to explore more of you videos.

[@judithrix-brown8790]

Great video!!! I am 78 obviously dyslexic all my life. As a kid I was extremely sensitive to humiliation which also followed me into adulthood. I had to work extra hard, but I graduated from college but office work required typing .. More humiliation! When computers arrived my work life changed. I had spellcheck!!! I like to think dyslexics have gifts because they see things from different points of view. I discovered late I had a gift for problem solving if id known that sooner my life would have been different and I could have traded on that for self confidence. Now I just have fun with dyslexia.. How words first appear out of context.. Like comic for cosmic..scared for sacred. I fascinate myself!

[@peachsncream5808]

The ongoing AND stupidity of the RANDOM memory problems of the dyslexia combined with the ADD 🤦🏻‍♀️🥵 drives me crazy . problems have been a constant problem - I feel like the stereotypical goldfish . From childhood until today at 55 ….memory 🤦🏻‍♀️ - it was never better or worse - . The strange thing is - I don’t have any problems switching between driving in my home country Australia Driving On the opposite side of the car on the opposite side of the Roads when I’m visiting Europe 🤷 . WHTF is up with that 🤔 . Yet when making posts on social media or reading 🤦🏻‍♀️ . I’ll be typing something out - saying it as I type it out …. I’ll see entire worlds Missing - or I’ll try to type a word - a word I use regularly , Yet in some moments I’ll repeatedly Hit the wrong letters on the keypad 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3 or 4 times 🤯. The word might start with =St And my dammed finger will hit for example =wl 🤯 . Or I may have just used a word during a post a few sentence’s previously and the next minute I can’t spell the same damed word ….and I have to took back up in the post to see how to spell the thing 🤯. This little post probably takes people 5 minutes to do ? It takes me 45 minutes - so frustrating 🥵🥵🤯🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️👉🤦🏻‍♀️..

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Yeah, seems very frustrating and it does also take me a lot longer than I feel it should when I write things. That being said, when I feel like it's just too much, I switch to my phone and simply dictate what I want to say. But know that you're not alone with it

[@shanydror7107]

As always, thank you for giving words to my feelings. Now I understand them. As a kid, I was always told I will need to work twice or three times harder than everyone else just to break even. While I appreciate that is true, I don't think it is stainable. As an adult I am constantly working on the expense of my health and personal life. It is so hard to break free from the constant fear of failure, get free from the mindset that pushes to exhaustion.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're right that it's not sustainable. By giving 120% all the time I think we might have lost track of what is actually enough.Poeple with a very severe case of dyslexia might have to give 105%, whereas for others maybe 80% is enough. Many of us is acting based on our past experiences and we haven't really checked back in to see what is going on with us now. I think these feelings will continue to come up in adulthood, but it also helps not to identify with the voice in our heads anymore. We can hear it and acknowledge that that's the voice of our dyslexic past just expressing fears and saying hi. May be a good way to come to peace with it.

[@yhurwitz1153]

It does resonate with me in a weird way.I noticed. As i got older that I have an automatic distrust and almost fear towards teachers ,and when I get positive feedback I tend to think that they have not found out the true stupidness that i am hiding with extra work.

[@TwoWheelAccord]

Pretty much resonated with me. No official testing of it and I can read and do english quite well..i mainly scored high in the mechanics of it. Makes me doubt could I be dyslexic. But your videos been helpful and pretty much all on point for me. Thank you.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks for sharing

[@nanawolf7443]

I’ve had these thoughts floating around in my head for some time now. Didn’t know how to piece it together until this video. Hopefully I can use your insights to reframe the beliefs I have about myself so that I can resolve my negative self perception and cycles of procrastination and perfectionism. Thank you Arije!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You are very welcome!

[@elwynelvy]

I had never heard of dyslexia until i was 25. Which was back in the mid 90's. But then I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that information. I just had to keep muddling through life. And being left behind. Looking for work with your self-esteem dragging behind you and your family, telling you to 'just get over it and try harder...' Yeah, fun times.

[@RussellGi]

This resonated with me in a timely manner, as I have 3 1/2 hours to start and complete an assignment for my Post Grad class, which I should have completed last weekend. I receive merits for everything, plenty A grades for positive reinforcement, yet I'm still the 'garbage' student I was at school internally. That inner child hurts, but is both fascinating and reassuring to see I'm not the only one with this issue. On a neuroscience basis, am increasingly interested with how the dorsal attention network, is interfered with by the default mode network - but I'm a psychology student, so I'd better get back to that! Thanks Arije 💪

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Hope you are getting the assignment done at some point. I'm sure you are not a garbage student, but accepting that took a while for myself as well. Sometimes I still tend to make my achievements smaller than I should because I have the same inner dialogue from my school years.

[@RussellGi]

Many thanks, it was completed. I also have a couple of exams at the weekend, so intend to spend my time 'productively procrastinating' by re-watching all your brilliant videos this week! @@ArijeAikedeHaas

[@kiufordiskhasidis681]

I am an adult who has just come to term with my condition. I have accomplished many things in my life and feel career has a limit based on my condition because of that i reject moving up in my career. It i amazing to me as I learning more about this i may co soncider myself a fighter. I became a drafter and majored in architecture.

[@XXgoblinmonkeyXX]

this is on point. i do feel like i carry the weight of the world.

[@FizzyMcPhysics]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I had a lot of help with literacy to get me through school, and then it disappeared. I think because it's classed as a Learning DIfficulty, it's assumed that you struggle with school, but with help you should be a function normal adult by graduation, but new jobs, especially first jobs, are also learning environments, and a lot of support is needed. Mainly, extra time for training , and progress checks for me. But I didn't know that, and no one told me what I needed to ask for in work places, or the advice all seemed really vauge.

[@user-ji7xq7ci9f]

That's really helpful indeed! I knew I had to work on reducing my perfectionist tendencies and on my self-esteem before I figured I must be dyslexic too. Now these things kind of make sense as a whole package and I can see how it stem from the difficulties I had in childhood. Thanks for your work :)

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You are very welcome

[@DavidJVMusic]

Augh! Yes, all that, since way back and even now... Has anything helped? No, I'm done killing myself to do anything that agrivate(sp)s the neurodiverse brain. I'm pretty sure this is a big part of my constant mental exhaustion. Thanks for sharing Arije!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're very welcome!

[@marichkakropatnytska9910]

Very familiar to me. Thanks for sharing this information and helping in understanding of what is happening.

[@judithegli1345]

I was diagnosed with dyslexia in primary school, I am now a teacher in my late 30's and coincidentally I am also Australian. From my experience with dyslexia and students in general I consider these feelings you describe resonate in people with dyslexia however adolescence isn't an easy time for anyone. The tests you talk of use a group of dyslexic people but how could you possibly choose a control group to determine this does not happen to people without dyslexia. I have watched your videos on your experiences in school and I am sorry that this has happened to you and many other people. In my opinion the biggest change in education since I (and you) was at school is that education and the curriculum is built around the individual rather than asking the individual to conform to the curriculum level outlined by their age. This shift to an individuals learning journey is in theory a great idea but has lead to its own issues and we will have to wait to see the outcomes and feelings that resinate for this generation. I am in no way saying that assisting people with dyslexia shouldn't be of importance I just think a lot of people have difficulties and it is more important to find ways to fit into our environment as a way to grow and prosper.

[@user-kn1yl7xk2u]

Oh my God, I am 60 years old and all my Lord.You have got wear I wanna listen to you and I am❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊

[@nicklm99]

spot on, thanks

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

You're very welcome

[@thelegendofsam5231]

My work is currently trying to get rid of me due to my dyslexic because they cantbe bothered to support me, this is EXCACTLY what i feel but cant communicate to others

[@hannahteddyschachter7407]

Another great video Arije. Thank you for sharing this ❤

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks for watching! I hope you get something out of it

[@pppp67567]

Thank you.

[@PlanetImo]

Oh yeah - definitely resonated!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Glad to hear!

[@craigmerkey8518]

I l ways look forward to your videos!

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you and I'm sorry that it took me a while to get back to it this time. I live in Jerusalem and even though I wanted to do a lot for dyslexia awareness month, the war broke out here and everything kind of went sideways..I'm hoping to upload more regularly soon

[@jonnybrandin1362]

I related to everything you said. And I feel seen 😊

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

That is great to hear. I felt a similar way when I found this theory and had to share :)

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I'll have to think about this stuff. Lots of food for thought here.

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Yeah, I've been mulling this over for years and sometimes I still go back and forth on these things. Also remember that we dyslexics come on a spectrum, so depending where you fall on that spectrum and your individual experiences, this explanation might resonate more or less for you

[@user-kn1yl7xk2u]

My personal experience is also no.Everyone's great at my job they understand me

[@user-kn1yl7xk2u]

Yes Aman 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 ❤❤❤😊😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@user-kn1yl7xk2u]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@stephaniesoma3610]

Damn...

[@Rambo51TV]

Please hear or read psycho-cybernetics

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thank you for the tip

[@DissonantSynth]

Typo in title. "Insightful"

[@dhaval1489]

If you found that typo easily your not one of us 😂

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

Thanks, I fixed it! Sometimes even Grammarly can't help me...

[@ArijeAikedeHaas]

😂

[@DissonantSynth]

@@ArijeAikedeHaas no worries 🥴 great video, BTW. I don't have dyslexia myself, but I teach (high school), and some of my students do.

[@fjb420]

Never been able to read a book. Oops

[@Chompchompyerded]

I think I need to stop watching these videos. It's making me super depressed