Asexuals give dating "advice" 🙃

[@louiscorydon9964]

I don't know about you guys but having half of their answers be "It can be like that but IT CAN ALSO BE" or "UHHHH- MAYBE?" is, at least for me, the biggest comfort ever as ace-aro. I am in need of relationships and enamored with the idea of life-long bond which leaves a hopeful ache in my heart, BUT I DON'T IT TO BE ROMANTIC OR INTIMATE is biggest call out and some I really am happy about

[@Dr.PicklePh.D.]

For me, the question of "would you be okay with never having a traditional relationship" is weird to answer because I could absolutely go my entire life without a sexual or romantic relationship, but I really don't think I could live alone. I dislike socializing, but I need to cohabitate with at least one person who I'm really comfortable with. I need someone to share taxes and dishes and sickness and late-night thoughts and impromptu movies. This hasn't been a problem yet because I still live with my family (I'm in my twenties) but my parents are getting older, and if my siblings move out with partners or on their own I don't want to be clingy and obnoxious, so sometimes I worry a little about ten or twenty years down the line.

[@ying_verse]

I absolutely resonate with this!! I always say that my dream is to someday have a little village or co-op with my closest friends where we do subsistence farming and platonic cuddle puddles hahahaha

[@kallamatko]

I feel the EXACT same way!! It's made it really hard to plan for the future...

[@curiousnara3066]

@@ying_verse A while back my friends and I, not all ace or single but most of us who don't want children or the traditional family connection, teased about creating an elderly village for us all to live together in the future lol. I am not alone then.

[@lil.ikuraa]

I am thankful for this conversation and can’t wait for this to become a series 👀

[@nineplustentwentyone26]

Same here! I am still questioning if I am asexual and all so any type of advice for asexuals would really be so helpful

[@chronicallychic]

The chat comments talking about demisexuality as the norm is interesting. It's absolutely normal, but I wouldn't say it's "the norm" simply because allosexual people can still feel sexual attraction but not act on it right away, whereas demisexual people don't feel sexual attraction until certain conditions of the emotional connection are eventually met. So I personally think they are different 🙂

[@catherinej6542]

It's so refreshing to hear from people who have also never been in a relationship before! I have recently discovered that I'm on the ace spectrum and , idk if its because I haven't been looking hard enough, but a vast majority of the advice I've come across has been from people who have discovered they were ace spec after experiencing relationships. Really hope this becomes a regular thing🙏

[@purplecake-iy3tn]

This is vey comforting to watch and chill thank you. I personally identity as asexual and aromatic but, since I came out as bi/pan in April 2021 it didn’t go well with my biological family. If the world perceived me as bi then I don’t have to explain as much to folks. I’m perfectly content with only about 20 people in my personal life knowing I’m ace and aro. I’m sorry I tend to rambler. I hope this make sense lol I’m only at the introductions. 😀💚💜

[@artistbervucci1716]

Omg, this is actually helpful! Thank you Ying for not overseeing the ace community!!

[@shantelwastaken]

couldn't catch it live but so happy to catch up right now!! i'm very demi/ace (its so hard to explain demisexuality sometimes i just say i'm ace lmao) and it took me a long time to come to terms with and it's just so comforting to have a comfy space where so many people can relate or understand 🥺 recently i just realised all my close friends now have partners or buying houses etc except me HAHA and i think i'm okay with that. whoever reading this know that i'm proud of you for being you 💕 you are valid, you are seen, and it's okay to be unsure, or to change.

[@curiousnara3066]

I feel that bit of everybody in my circle building traditional families and in part it always made me feel I was in some delayed adolescence period until I realized it's fine to not be like everyone else. I also had issues (still do tbh) with fully understand where I fit as demi/ace especially since the last time i was in therapy i mentioned that and the psychologist said "I don't believe in these labels i think your problem is your self esteem". That just broke my mind for a while.

[@yamada_rob]

i genuinely thought that this would be the meme-est funniest stream/podcast but it turned out to be a very good and very needed conversation about the topic of dating, whether you're ace or allo. Thank you ying for organizing this and i hope to see more of this in the future ☺☺☺

[@tiger6024]

As an ace/arospec/lesbian its really such a relief to see creators I know and like for reasons unrelated to asexuality, on the other side of the world, talking about their experience with this stuff. I know some ace people in my own bubble but there's always a feeling of otherness where you know most people around you don't even know you exist. Ying, thank you for putting this panel together! I've often been invalidated or questioned about my being ace, especially as a person in fandom and as someone who like shoujo tropes and such, so its nice to see similar ace people try and explain themselves to each other haha

[@curiousnara3066]

It's nice to see a panel/podcast like this.

[@CaelynxWasTaken]

This panel is suuuuuuuch a mood, I loved it to bits! It's so seldom to see Ace content online, this really made me feel seen and actually valid with the way I (and probably a lot of other people) see feelings/relationships ;w;

[@TheFullMetalSheep]

This was such a wonderful stream! I'm aroace, and while I remember accepting that I was ace pretty quickly I struggled for a long time accepting that I was arospec. I used to feel crushed that there was something wrong with me because I didn't reciprocate feelings that I thought I was supposed to have with people who were interested in me romantically. The pressure to "find someone" still pops up from time to time, but now it's less of a worry and more of an acceptance of "if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't then that's okay too." I appreciate these frank group discussions, and I hope y'all do continue this as a series if you're able to. It's such a fun way to see different perspectives from other ace people.

[@outrider8569]

I love the vibes of this. Also late happy valentines!

[@takaradachi]

Thank you for hosting this! I've known I'm in the aroace spectrum for a while now, but I've had a really hard time labelling myself and couldn't help but feel a little bit of imposter syndrome because I didn't really know if I could label myself as aroace given I read and write about the topics I'm not "supposed" to be interested in... This stream has been really enlightening and has helped me be at peace with my identity. Really, thank you so much.

[@jonathanwilson5355]

Woo! Ace fam unite! Can’t wait to watch this! :0

[@Chazkuangshi]

Ying is Ace?? As an ace that makes me so happy to find out!

[@dragonwithamonocle]

Yeah, was pretty great for me, too when I found out. She HAS talked about it before, but they only really mentioned it in a couple videos, so, pretty easy to miss.

[@batrieniel]

last year,i realised i was on the asexual spectrum; i don’t feel much sexual attraction,sometimes i do but it’s very subtle and stuff,sometimes i can’t stand sex,sometimes i tolerate it,sometimes i enjoy it.(also has to do with the fact i’m an SA victim so sex is hard for me).but i do know i’m demisexual,bc i’m not the type to hook up,i only have sex with people when i’m in a trustworthy relationship with them to avoid,certains situations ;^;

[@CalmThyPalm]

And now to catch up after falling asleep to the stream earlier. 🤣

[@mousethehuman7179]

this was such a wholesome podcast, thank you all! I couldn't help nodding along and saying "This!" out loud on so many points while cutting veggies in the kitchen. Eat your vegetables!

[@dorkamolnar8609]

Aaaaaaa I missed it 😭 Damn you, time zones! I will make sure to listen to it and hopefully not miss it if y'all decide to bring it back next year 🤩

[@sueflewelling3657]

great stream ying

[@jellyfishwitch]

aaaa the vod was so good !! I lov this chill format so much !! Thank you Ying for hosting and the panel for their thoughts!!

[@pamelajacosqui]

I'm a peripheral viewer and I don't watch much of your content but this was just lovely to sit and listen to

[@Chikorita2Chante]

It is too bad that I was asleep (it was night, lol), because it would've been nice to be in this chat! Everyone seems so open and interesting to listen to. Thank you to Ying and guests for doing this. It's a gift to be able to hear your candid thoughts and be able to see you share things that can feel vulnerable 😊 Personally, I'm nonbinary, acespec (demi) and bisexual, dating someone who is cis, but also demi and biromantic. I really lucked out in finding a good partner I happened to be so compatible with. He didn't have any labels at the time, but knew there was something queer about him. Having similar backgrounds help a lot in relationships of any nature. Now, if there's anything I've learned about straight relationships, the partners having discrepancies in their sexual needs is so normal. My partner is low libido and I'm... not, lol. So even though we aren't a straight relationship and there is a bit more nuance to our dynamic, it is comforting to know that it's a very common issue that can be worked on through communication. So if you're reading this and struggling, there is still a chance it'll work out. Of course, like with any issue, it might not, but that's no one's fault. We are who we are and we can only mature, communicate and try our best ♡

[@scii_kraeus]

left halfway through stream to pick up my brother, now back to watch the VOD

[@ayumi_withafroggyhat]

That was so beautiful and relatable!! Thank you so much for this video, really needed it and I wish you the best ❤

[@Hello_AmeliaGhost]

I wish I had found this video sooner! I’ve been struggling with labeling myself for years! I never thought about it until my coworkers played the game “ who are you physically attracted too” and it really really sucked. It was just me sitting there saying no for 20mins and them asking why! I’m in a very long term relationship and we have both never talked about it but we both don’t have a strong sexual drive. I think I got lucky. Anyway it’s nice to be here

[@nutella7162]

What a nice stream to woke up to! Feels kinda good to be "validated" for your feelings of discomfort or confusion when faced with the topic of dating and physical aspects of a relationship. It'll take time to fully process but I'm not as embarassed as I was before when I tried to chime in to people saying things like "you have sex after 3 months of dating. if you don't then they don't love you etc. etc." or "ofc I wanna get laid, I'm a guy after all" or "from a woman's perspective, she's dating with marriage in mind" and ended up failing miserably without knowing wtf was I not getting. Like, why 3 months? That's so quick. Why wouldn't they love you if they don't want to do it so soon? Or what does it matter if you're a guy? Do girls don't wanna get laid then? Why couldn't a woman just date because she loves and wants to be with you without any elaborate longterm predictions and plans? Why is having marriage in mind different if you're a guy or a girl? I had too many questions while those things came to people naturally or they just didn't question them

[@Shanachan21]

I had a very interesting romantic journey so far. I started to crush on some guys like 3-5 times, they seemed to crush on me too, but no one ever said anything to make things clear and I always found out many months/years later when everything was over. It reached a point where I just laugh about it xD Tbh my crush never reached the point, where I would have really considered to get in a real relationship. I just had one 'contractual' relationship with a girlfriend for 2 and a half years on platonic level based on trust, but she broke my trust so I ended it. I LOVE reading should Manga and manhwa too and I feel much more love while reading than I ever felt in real life as me.

[@DOE_Sen]

Very interesting, I think Path's comment that it was a feeling of fulfillment in just platonic relationships is a good point

[@mimi__core]

legit, this was great! i am not in the aroace spectrum but i am dating an asexual person, so it's super interesting to hear other people's stories! ofc i do hear my partner out first thing first but hearing more about this topic from such a diverse group was very interesting (and funny ofc :,))

[@limliping98]

Hi ying! Just wanna say I just found you recently through a genshin video oddly enough, specifically the one about Yun Jin's opera cause chinese represent, but I've been relating a lot to your videos on ADHD and ace as well!! Obv some parts of it suck, but just listening to someone express the exact same thoughts going in this messy mind is honestly a huge relief. Please keep being you cause you're pretty cool.

[@carrot9023]

thank you to my friend that recommended this to me ^^

[@air2723]

Man wish I was here live for this, I've recently "figured" out that I'm demiromantic and probably ace. I thank you for getting into this especially for valentines day.

[@sapphiredrgn7185]

Thank you all SO MUCH for your time! And thank you for sharing your experiences. Struggling with my own sexuality those days, it was very helpful listening to you. ☺💙

[@LilRadRidingHood]

Thanks so much for this! I'm definitely ace and keep going back on forth on whether im aro and it felt really nice to hear you all talk

[@ying_verse]

GOD i feel you on the going back and forth on aro so much, glad this was helpful for you!!!

[@sn710e]

ahhh, i love this stream. it’s making me emotional what truly is the difference between romantic and platonic love? reading those super romantic stories, you expect that butterfly feeling to equate romantic love. certainly, i’ve never felt that for my platonic friends. and i did feel it for the few crushes i’ve had before. issue is, for me, the butterfly only flaps for a couple hours. this is why i say i’m aro. if the more you look at a person, the more you stop liking them… i don’t think that’s how it works? but i guess,, if i want someone in my life, i’ll just have them. in any way that makes sense i gave dating advice to someone who was unsure whether he wanted to pursue a relationship with a girl. he believes the girl likes him, wants her in his life, but also their mutual friend says she doesn’t have a romantic interest in him. i said.. that it doesn’t really matter if she likes him or not. it’s up to him to judge if he wants her specifically as a romantic relationship. cuz if he just wants her in his life, he already has that… as friends. i’m waiting for the next podcast in this series 😂

[@brunol.8608]

Thanks for hosting the stream. A number of my friends (including my ex) are ace and it's been helpful to get some perspective on something that's severely overlooked.

[@natgl11]

l feel like I could write an essay on so many of the questions, but I decided to watch this at 3am so I'm too sleepy to do it now (I had this stream saved to a playlist to watch it when I had the time and was in a good headspace to do it. why my brain decided that time is the middle of the night, I have no idea. I just live here, I've given up on making the rules and just go with it at this point). will I remember to edit this tomorrow to add my experiences as a demisexual, demiromantic (pan for both), polyamorous, non-binary, neurodivergent, disabled (due to chronic illnesses) person? probably not. so I'll just say that this was an excellent discussion with lots of solid advice from everyone. I felt very seen and comfortable watching this, so thank you. I hope there are more livestreams like this!

[@shawnr3692]

Yeah well...ok then... I just don't get it... WTF GF!?!🌹

[@amirparsahormozi5692]

yasha is so real i feel seen😭

[@CanvasCannibal]

I love this! I am cupiosexual/cupioromantic and i really synchronize with this!

[@grasssnakegildedserpent4184]

Oops hello, I'm an aroace in a polycule with a pan/aro and another aroace (does that make us the legendary pokemon trio) Anyway this stream has been super relatable, thank you for hosting this stream and bringing some visibility to the community

[@purpleisraiyen]

thank you for having this stream! I’m biromantic and I’m also questioning if I’m ace so this kind of helps me

[@dannilo-ro5791]

As an ace 30 year old this feels so good to see. It’s a struggle out here 😂❤

[@BEyondViewtiful]

You are ALL so fine 😭😭😭💙💜💚

[@nireus2299]

ohhh yeah i personally love being ace mostly because it's always there not like my gender and sexuality acting like a randomizer for the week😂😂,also for the "immunity of the weakness of the flesh" it helped a lot in highschool to not be interested in anyone

[@ying_verse]

RANDOMIZER HAHDJAJDJD

[@carrot9023]

story of my life 3:19 all of them are relatable ToT 13:59 26:46 36:56 47:05

[@brick_ball]

only just came on my recom now pepega but this was informative + interesting 👍👍

[@radio9632]

I'm super attracted to cash :D

[@ekaterinakuznetsova]

I'm also ace possibly aro haha and my friends always come to me for dating advice 😭 maybe cuz I can look at the situation objectively idk 😂 I've read enough fanfics to k how relationships work in theory so maybe that helps?

[@chronicallychic]

Just starting this now but I love this idea for a video 😭💜 I'm panromantic asexual and just recently discovered I'm somewhere under the non-binary umbrella (probably agender, all pronouns welcome!). I'm also disabled which further complicates the whole dating thing 😅

[@twostroke12v71]

Commenting on the video for the algorithm

[@landofthehazymist]

the acesians have gathered :D

[@swordoflorn]

I'm.... human?

[@tealeaf_rice]

loveee this! It’s so comfy 🤍 thank you all! ☺️ I’ve been questioning ace / identifying as ace spec for like two years or so now and it’s comforting that none of us have clear answers, but there is a space like this where we can reflect on it together 🤍

[@shawnr3692]

I'm only here to find out/ understand , what this even means... what does it mean to be an Asexual adult??.

[@StopSlavery]

is this the same as " Non-dating "?

[@mariavillalonga6147]

starts ar 4:16

[@kris.........]

Catching up now