Ashley Is Quitting Comedy | Chosen Family Podcast

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

omg happy 100 everyone?! 🥳

[@frimchi]

Happy 100!! ❤🎉

[@Zoomalyssa]

HAPPY 100!!!! 💗💗

[@finkleycarrot]

toot toot!

[@someonesomehow379]

@@AlaynaJoyOfficial 10000% thank you guys for this comforting RELATABLE podcast!

[@libsreese]

Happy 100!!! And also you need to watch D.E.B.S if you haven’t yet

[@wanderingphotomagician]

Ashley, this does happen in the straight community. The discussion that you guys had about queer and trans people not wanting only trauma and fear to be portrayed and being triggered by that is the exact same conversations that the black community has been having for decades about only being seen in the mainstream media as slaves, gangsters & criminals. In the beginning, because of the complete exclusion of blacks in the media (& basically everything), the community was, of course, just happy to see that black people were in the media and that their stories were being told at all, but at some point, similarly to what Alayna was saying, you are just tired of only seeing traumatic moments & perpetuated stereotypes of your community on screen. We want to see the black love stories. We want the bad movies and the cringey slapstick comedies. So yes, other communities-straight communities…minority communities-are having these conversations. It’s just happening in places you may not be, around people you may not have in your orbit. Also, know that I’m saying this as an educational conversation. Not a dig, but during this entire conversation, as a straight-passing queer woman that can never be mistaken for anything but black, you could insert “black” into this conversation anywhere that “queer” or “trans” was said. People sitting in the intersectionality of it all have been having these conversations and looking for this type of perspective shift media desperately. So give us the bad movies please!

[@ashgavs]

Not a dig at all, a really great point!

[@elleroLUV]

Thank you

[@TimSorbera]

Sometimes I forget Ashley knows technology and then she just accurately and simply explains everything.

[@graceelmu]

Lowkey make a petition for Ashley to make tech informational videos because she explained gates so much better than my teacher last year

[@ashgavs]

that was my job! i have a ted talk :)

[@graceelmu]

@@ashgavs I just finished watching it and teaching computer science to younger kids is something I've been thinking about lately. My first year of school in a different state I had to take a MATLAB class, and I was the only student who had never seen a line of code (other students had worked with at least Scratch). I know it also has a lot to do with the state I'm in. I am currently in a program, graduating next year and have never made a project. A lot of my assignments have been "code this random problem I made up" and they have never explained any real-world purposes to us (this is an ABET-accredited program). Some of my classmates and I talked about how we feel that we aren't actually learning how to do "the thing" and will probably learn more when we get jobs. I know that I want to make apps and tools but it feels overwhelming starting from scratch and trying to figure everything out and finding the time to after classes and homework. Overall, I loved the Ted Talk and fully agree that how we teach computer science and when needs to change

[@urdelicatepov]

happy 100 episodes of chosen family!!

[@4455-d6w]

so what male-dominated field are you going to conquer next

[@ttarotkidd]

LMAO

[@nahadoth2087]

Maybe bouncing, using the power of gender confusion and the little butch shuffle.

[@ashgavs]

@@nahadoth2087 youre a real one.

[@katiehanson6253]

All of them! Let's go!!😂❤🎉 this is awesome

[@tambourinewoman]

woo!! 100 episodes !!!!111!1!!11111!1!!

[@urdelicatepov]

i see what you did there 😭

[@mathildec2039]

i am indeed, and I quote, "dripping" from witnessing Ashley easily explaining how a computer works. that's hot.

[@austinwayne8137]

As a trans man, Boys Don’t Cry is one of the hardest movies I’ve ever watched in my life.

[@alexwhitelaw2003]

boys don't cry is a tragic film such a beaut destroyed by discrimination

[@skallywalla502]

I'm glad Ashley finally clarified why her experience is "we're only allowed one gay show at a time" because i was listing queer shows and movies in my head for 15 minutes like Heartstopper, Red, White and Royal Blue, Gentleman Jack, Sex Education, The Half of It (wonderful queer retelling of Cyrano), She-Ra, Nimona, Trinkets, Heartbreak High, XO, Kitty, The Sex Lives of College Girls, First Kill...now, there's a BIG argument for the lack of sapphic content vs gay, but heck, Doctor Who has an openly gay Doctor now. But pitching shows to networks? Yeah, I can imagine the constant disappointment with hearing "we have a gay show right now." I can also understand where Ashley is coming from with "yay, any queer media is a win, even if it's bad!" That's a generational thing right there. I can appreciate that as a Xennial myself- but also be grateful that the younger generations are demanding more accurate and more joyful representation in our stories because it's made an impact. ❤

[@kileybatchelor]

Boys Don’t Cry traumatized me for weeks. The graphic SA scene I believe was due to the film’s original title “Take It Like A Man” and followed that theme. The police officer scene was worse in real life, he eroticized Brandon instead of protecting him. The gunshot scene was hard to watch as well. Hilary Swank and Chloe Sevigny were perfect in their roles and they only made $3,000 for their performances.

[@meganbraun9323]

I watched Boys Don’t Cry with my extremely homophobic/transphobic family when I was a kid, and although I hate the graphic SA scene and it completely traumatized me as a young child in a way that I still think about as an adult, it was one of the ONLY times I’ve ever seen a trans/queer person humanized in my parents’ eyes. Is it extremely f*cked up that it took that level of graphic violence to make my parents see a trans person as a human being worthy of life? Absolutely!!! But I think for some of these people on the extreme, that’s what they need to shock them out of the grotesque mindset that is so ingrained in them of queer people being less than. The fact that it’s a tragic true story, I think drove the impact home further for them. It shouldn’t be this way, but I do think the graphic nature of scenes like that can be necessary to actually reach certain people’s hearts. Also, my parents are in law enforcement, so seeing the corruption of the cops was helpful in broadening their perspective in that way too.

[@louis0320]

Congrats on hitting episode 100 !!

[@paulmeans7063]

Observation: the target audience was the straight community that needed to understand the real world consequences of their behavior. Human is human--no matter the expression

[@ashgavs]

yeah great point!

[@ArtichokeHunter]

i'm glad alayna pointed this out, it's a little sad to me how much we continue to pretend that there aren't lots of queer movies, tv, etc. do we need more? absolutely. but the conversation stays treating it like there aren't lots of options for people with different tastes. we don't all have to like happiest season or pretend that every queer movie is great when it's not. honestly it's just kinda shitty to all the people making great queer art just to have it be ignored by the same people who complain about not getting queer art. honestly the fact that ashley and alayna are more the correct age to love DEBS than mak and have never heard of it, but are saying there are too few queer movies, indicates to me that problem on not giving attention (whatever your preferences) to all the work that is being done and has been for decades.

[@elisamagioli1555]

I studied 5 years of Electronic engineering and this was the best explanation of how a computer works.

[@karolinapajaczkowska9936]

I've studied 2 years of Electronic engineering and also i enjoyed this part of podcast

[@aliviafletcher8926]

A League of Their Own tv series is the BEST queer tv show i have seen to date. Queer literature is also everywhere and it’s fantastic !!

[@petezahut97]

Yes 1000% so sad when it got cancelled

[@JuMixBoox]

I hadn't heard about this film, and apologise if you mention it later in the episode or if the information I got off Wikipedia is flawed. Apparently, the director tried to cast trans men or otherwise lesbians for the role because that was definitely on people's minds making queer stories then as well, but the actress that was cast was chosen because she did the best job at creating the vision the director, who had apparently been obsessed with this story for years, was going for. I hadn't realised the film was based on a true story, which unfortunately makes me want to heed Mak's warning about the impact of watching it more and probably means that I won't do it. I do, however, now know that telling trans stories in media in the nineties could get you an Oscar and Golden Globe for best actress and be mainstream instead of niche, which feels like important queer media history to know.

[@nahadoth2087]

Boys Don't Cry was Hilary Swank's first Oscar win. Her second one was for Million Dollar Baby, which is also a really good movie IMO and also a tragedy (though not queer).

[@gimme_something_c_mon]

thanks for the review of my computer science degree can’t believe you still remember all that. i graduated 3 months ago and i couldn’t have explained all that

[@ayla1316]

In 1998, when Mathew Shepard was murdered, my mother's reaction was basically that killing him was wrong, but what did he expect, coming on to normal men the way he did. (Yes all wrong information but that was the story fox was spinning so that's what my mom believed at the time) 12 year old baby lesbian me listening to her say this was terrified. Some time in highschool, after Boys Don't Cry came out I made her watch it with me. (Most uncomfortable thing I ever signed myself up for) I believe that movie helped start the process of her seeing LGBT+ people as people. She bawled like I rarely saw her do at the end of that movie. "Why couldn't they just leave her alone? She was just trying to live" misgendering Brandon I know, but still SO much progress from just few years before. When I came out another 6 years later it was to open arms and she walked me down the aisle when my wife and I were married. I don't know if it would have hit AS hard without the gratuitous S.A. scene but I do think that movie did move the needle for her.

[@jaceiselsewhere]

fresh off the press! I love catching these the minute they drop 🥰

[@LucasSharrett]

Thank you so much for your insight into the discussion Ashley!!!! That really is a big problem I have when talking about movies with other queer people.

[@jacquelinenishino3071]

Also, I think queers being over-critical of queer art also falls into the trap of "there is only one kind of queer experience and only one way to portray the queer experience."

[@ashgavs]

agreed

[@KristinCerda]

I’ve seen *a lot* of disturbing things, but that scene in Boys Don’t Cry is burned in my mind even 25 years later. I generally am in the same camp as far as not showing too much around SA. But I also wanna add that growing up in Texas, the impact of that film - in particular that scene - was shocking. It did some radical heart opening. Truly eye opening for some surprising people. I agree with Ashley, that from where we sit it’s hard to understand the cultural moment it’s coming out of. The normal conversations we have about gender and identity basically didn’t exist in the mainstream then. All of these images and cultural labels are basically encoded with whole layers of meaning that just aren’t accessible from our current cultural moment. (And I am not trans and not questioning the validity of trans criticism of the film💚)

[@ttarotkidd]

I'm a transmasc lesbian and I watched Boys Don't Cry when I was 12 without realizing what it was and it scarred me for life. scared me into the closet for 2 decades lol

[@itsmj3103]

Think reality is scarier than any film ever could be. But yeah, that was not an appropriate age to watch that film at all lol I watched it at around 16 when I was really digging into my sexuality and identity, watching every queer film I got my hands on, Boys Don't Cry was probably the heaviest of them. It's a very haunting experience.

[@FJA---]

I was living in Lincoln when that entire thing went down. It was horrifying to most people and a lot of Nebraskans couldn't believe it could happen there. You have to know that the southeast corner of Nebraska is a very weird area. Reminds you more of the hillbilly south than the midwest. And of course, there were the people that said he got what he deserved. What happened at the police station was even worse than the movie showed. You can read thru the transcripts of what happened there. The entire police force should have ended up in prison for their actions. The movie was very disturbing. But I think it would have been even more disturbing if they had sugar coated the entire thing to make it more palatable for audiences.

[@ashgavs]

Another great point!

[@shae113]

OMG, I grew up an hour west of Lincoln and remember the news about what had happened. When the movie came out, I went to see it in the theatre with some friends. We were all 17/18 years old. I wasn't out as bi (and wouldn't be for close to a decade and I was living on the east coast), but was seeking queer media when I could. I wanted to see the movie to better understand how things went so wrong. The late 90's saw some very raw movies, it was kind of a trend for a bit to show way more than we do today, when it comes to traumatic events. One of them was If These Walls Could Talk, which was a very raw look at stories of abort*on before it was legal.

[@JansmaIvy]

Thank you Ashley, for being the voice of reason about taking ‘the times of creation’ into consideration when looking at these subjects and projects from back in the day. ❤ which does not have to take away from opinions you can have about these things

[@belladan]

People are truly sleeping on 'Love, Classified' (2022) with THE Arienne Mandi (Dani from 'The L Word: Gen Q') and Kat McNamara - one of my favorite sapphic movies, no doubt!!! Also: 'Motherland: Fort Salem' - a TV show about a witch US army with a BEAUTIFUL sapphic relationship being one of the main plots. ALSO HAPPY 100!!!!! 💜💜💜

[@nahadoth2087]

Boys Don't Cry was sort of a formative film for 15 year old, cisgender, straight, small town me's worldview. It is what put the reality of trans people existing, and the depth of the hatred for their existence, as anything other than a weird idea I had vaguely heard about on the map. That might sound stupid to young people today, but Ashley's right in that the 90's was a very different time. I watched it for class with the goal of writing a paper on it (we had to watch an award winning movie of our own choice, and Hilary Swank had just won the Oscar for lead actress for it), but that proved to be too much for me to put everything I felt into words, so I did the paper on Magnolia instead. lol. Also, the director has since come out, first as a lesbian and then as genderqueer.

[@s00005]

My favorite queer show is I am not okay with this. Books; Angels before man and a psalm for the wild-built. And THIS podcast is my favorite piece of media I’d never get bored of consuming Btw happy 100 episodes!!! 🥳

[@someonesomehow379]

have u read the 7 husband of Evelyn Hugo?? I've just started reading it and I'm hooked.. I recommend!!

[@s00005]

Ohh I heard it’s good but it’s biographical isn’t it? I should give it a try

[@Megf570]

Sirens and Muses and Experienced are SUCH good queer books!!!

[@someonesomehow379]

@@s00005 yeah it is, I really recommend it!!

[@someonesomehow379]

in chapter 10 there's mention of dv.. as a tw.. but the book is really well written

[@Aya-nc4ro]

I would definitely recommend the film "Disclosure", which explores trans representation in movies / TV / media. It goes over many of the issues you discussed here! "Half the Picture" and "This Changes Everything" are similarly about representation in Hollywood / film / TV, but not Queer or Trans specific and more focused on women’s representation and influence. Representation of Queer and Trans people in media can be held to higher standards than media that doesn't center Queer and Trans people because how people see us represented can translate to the real life narratives they hold and (potentially supportive, but also, potentially violent, or somewhere in between) actions they take, especially when the Queer and Trans centering media they see is minimal and most people (in the US at least) don't personally know a Trans person. This stuff can impact real life biases, interactions, and violence and it's important to think critically about how media portrays us and the people we love and how that translates outside of it. Content Warning: Disclosure is a heavy film. Especially for Trans*+ folks (and those who love and are close with us), it's definitely one I would recommend watching with a supportive person if you can, or having a supportive person lined up and ready for a phone call if you can and think that might be helpful. Please take care of yourselves however you need to before, during, and after watching the film. It's important, and impactful, and I would totally recommend it, especially to people who have few interaction's with trans folks, but it's heavy, so just a reminder to take care of yourselves. Sending Love.

[@canadianicedragon2412]

The "idiots explanation of WiFi" is Radio. Radio is a series of waves on a particular frequency. Like the ones and zeros of code - rises and falls of that wave are translated. It is like sound. Sound is also a wave that our brain (ear) receives and translates into meaning. I have not seen that movie, and am not comfortable on that topic... but there is a very real aspect of a trauma, that is a crime, happening "more that once" - first during the event, then in the police report, then possibly in court. We are "forcing the victims to relive the worst event in their life" and that is part of a true retelling of this type of story. I wish we didn't need to gather evidence by asking the victims questions, even kind questioning is traumatic, and wish their testimony wasn't needed... I don't have a better system.

[@samanthaluv7]

Can we have a regular bit where dad helps us with our math homework and answers STEM questions from the discord? 😊😂 9:19

[@EsotericWizard]

Love the comp sci talk! “I’m so smart, why am I doing this?!” is such a mood. Every time I joke about dropping out of engineering to start a café, I immediately feel that so strongly 😂

[@EsotericWizard]

And not that starting a cafe isn’t hard or worthwhile, it’s just like… it wouldn’t utilize all my math skills and university sufferings 😂

[@dreamzens]

i only just graduated in june but the CS discussion at the beginning gave me some crazy flashbacks 😭 like mak asking abt how the computer understands code just reminded me of all the suffering i went thru in my compilers class LOL

[@ewaldahl]

I am a straight man, and saw the movie a long time ago and also cried my eyes out 😢

[@Kassandra_Karma]

Happy 100th episode!!! My favorite queer movie is " The Handmaiden". It's a masterpiece!!!

[@soccercool13]

I didn't understand anything about the 1's and 0's convo but it was hot listening to Ashley talk about this lol

[@rush_amanda]

Omg this was the one time I was so grateful for the trigger warning, I ended up skipping most of the episode sadly but for real thanks Mak!!!

[@stephtaylor6292]

Lets make the comment section a thread of our fave queer films and shows. Fave lesbian movie: Disobedience. (Rachel weisz and Rachel mcadams as lesbians in an orthodox jewish community. So good. So hot)

[@DonkeySelect]

As someone who saw Boys Don't Cry in the cinema, for the times it brought trans violence into the light. At that time, many communities outside of bigger towns, were bashing gay people and trans people were being killed and considered lesser beings. That scene was massively impacting, especially in surround sound and it made viewers uncomfortable and it made it real. It was dehumanising and controlling through sexual violence. The 90s was so censoring in a way, especially female sexuality was taboo - I mean Salt & Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex" was black listed in a lot of countries. I don't think it would have had the same impact on the broader community and opening discussions about trans issues. Shocking people got messages through in the time before internet and social media. Sure, people wouldn't do that now on the big screen; now they can film abuse on the phones and share it through their private channels. We know more now, we have a larger vocabulary now, we have the ability to disseminate information more widely now. But for the 90s, this was groundbreaking and it was starting a discussion. This was our forum page

[@katiedrais4224]

THIS. I understand Mak's points and I'm not trans so I am not trying to invalidate how this film made anyone feel. But I think the part that Mak is missing is how groundbreaking this movie was for its time and how culturally significant it was/is. I do think it has helped to contribute to the progress we have made since then. Mak is saying people can kind of fill in the blanks in their mind about what occurred, and that is true for a lot of people. But a lot of people truly can't/won't do that. It does not have nearly the same impact on them when details are spared unfortunately. Utilizing a very "in your face" approach means the viewer can't gloss over or water down how horrifying this tragedy was, in order to make themselves less uncomfortable. I haven't seen this movie in about 15 years but it left such a strong emotional response. And that seems to be the case for just about everyone who has seen it. I think this movie did truly help to humanize queer people to the masses and bring much needed attention to this kind of violence

[@cael_aj]

Favorite queer movie I just found on Netflix and watched: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love. I stumbled on this movie, and it is a lesbian teen romance from 1995(!!!) that is just so sweet and honest and doesn't have a tragic ending (or at least not as tragic as some queer movies like Boys Don't Cry. No one dies). Highly recommend. I'm probably gonna buy it on DVD.

[@NE8675309]

Such a good Sapphic film! I stumbled on it as the video store I used to work for was going out of business. I had never seen it before and was able to buy it for like $1. Best spontaneous purchase I've ever made.

[@angelagallant5887]

Also funny to think that people don’t always recognize that the lead in 2 Girls in love is Tina from The L Word. 🙂

[@cael_aj]

Ashley: They just found out that dad not only has charm and charisma but can explain a computer to a layman like that without being a pretentious whore Me and Alayna simultaneously: Well... 😂😂

[@FJA---]

The movie is "Happiest Season" and I have to admit I liked it. Of course it was over the top. It wasn't great. But it is exactly what the average seasonal romcom is except the 2 main characters are gay. The acting was everything from: What!, to Damn!, to so over the top it was HUH? But the scene with Dan Levi and Kristen Stewart in the parking lot was so well done it made the entire movie better by far. Mary Steenburgen played her part so well you just had to love it. I have it saved in my Hulu files.

[@RakshadaShirley]

The Chinese Botanist's Daughters is a film that never seems to get mentioned. I will watch yours and rewatch this one.

[@jenniferwinterstein4248]

Happy 100th Episode! It’s been a long while since I’ve watched/listened to you 3 and I’ve missed you. 😊

[@sarahbeere-k9k]

The film discussion makes me think of that time I watched The Children’s Hour. That film had such an intense portrayal of self-hatred I felt like I had regressed two years

[@hello_its_jo9951]

Don’t know what was sadder to realise that Mak didn’t know books count as media or that she was surprised celebrities are still closeting and in lavender marriages 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@avathomas6431]

Really appreciated Ashley's dad rant on critiquing queer media, it was a really interesting perspective and not one i'd heard expressed that well and in that way

[@leif6534]

As a trans guy, idk how anyone could forget that scene. The level of gratuity was more extreme than anything I've ever seen on screen. It's burned into my mind, still, ten years later. It's horrifying, beyond what is necessary for shock value

[@OwlWitch5141]

you guys are my favorite lesbians

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Happy 100 episodes of chosen family, this podcast has really created a family and support system that i never had growing up thank you guys so much love you and appreciate all that you do for me and many others ❤🎉🏳️‍🌈 and yes absolutely i have seen debs many many times lucy diamond character made me realize i was bisexual

[@JaneMandlinski]

HIGHLY recommend the following movies: Lezbomb, Saving Face, & Crush. ALSO! D.E.B.S. is GOLD, Ashley is so spot on about the Hulu Lesbian Xmas Movie with the FANTASTIC soundtrack, and Alayna is so right that there's TONS of media!!! I'm currently reading Sapphistries (A Global History of Love Between Women) but also recently finished One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston.

[@sherries7962]

I am old but one of my most favorite movies is "I Can't Think Straight". Big crush on Lisa Ray.

[@tracythorpe2662]

Congratulations on the 100 th show guys 🎉❤❤❤

[@carterpeele4913]

I had a similar discussion recently about graphic things in film because I watched I Spit onYour Grave for the first time and I WAS NOT ready for the fact that they show everything!!! I get that the point is that she takes her much deserved revenge but I just don't think a normal viewer of this movie needs to see the details of the pain to understand why someone would feel the need to take that kind of revenge. It literally just felt like I was watching someone's weird fetish they were trying to disguise as "empowering"

[@coolsenjoyer]

I Spit on Your Grave is very much an exploitation movie, like rest of the r*pe and revenge genre

[@sleepwalkinmoon]

whooooooooop happy 100 ive been looking forward to this

[@elizabethrollo7827]

RE: Gratuitous sexual violence in film. Sorry in advance - this is such a difficult topic. This is what feels true to me. Personally, the true horror of SA is that it’s often not “dramatic”. People aren’t screaming & shouting with rage after a while. They’re disassociating. Obviously they’re not physically strong enough to stop it from happening. They’re waiting for it to end. The horror of it is how little noise there is while someone’s sense of wholeness is being destroyed. That kind of horror isn’t “visual”. It feels like there’s a desire to “Hollywood-ise” that horror - make it big & dramatic, because no one wants to imagine the reality of that kind of powerlessness. That’s why I think it feels like trauma porn - it’s making a “show”. It’s turning the victim into an object (& so it feels alienating to others). The truth of it is much quieter & more awful. It’s missing the point. It’s not really standing in solidarity with the victim, it’s not really empathetic, it’s making the OBVIOUS physicality of the trauma into the storypoint, not the really devastating part. Equally. There’s no need to make that point over & over again. Once is enough. Every human implicitly understands the devastation of that kind of shattering. As I said, sorry - I hope that makes sense & isn’t unnecessarily upsetting. -- Further to the point Ashley made - if the essential horror is missed, it’s missing whether the actor is trans male or not. The actor can be the closest to the lived experience of the role, but without truthful storytelling, would it ever feel less jarring to the community? I realise this is two very separate arguments & certainly in terms of representation it would! I think what I’m trying to say is - yes, the role *should* ideally have gone to a trans male actor, but I think there’s also a bigger conversation to be had to stop the fetishisation of marginalised people in Hollywood - especially when it’s subconscious & internalised. Christ. Long comment. “Sorrows. Sorrows. Prayers.”

[@cael_aj]

I really can't watch SA in media. I've never been assaulted but I know people who have and I've always had a major fear of it. I'm okay if characters talk about being assaulted, but watching it makes me feel so horrible I have to turn off the movie or leave the room. My parents wanted to watch The Last Duel for a movie night a few years ago, when I was still living with them. That movie shows the same SA scene twice, once in the assaulter's perspective and again in the victim's perspective. I had to step outside both times.

[@bethdavisjimenez]

Did not see D.E.B.S. but I am going to now! I did love me some, "But I'm a Cheerleader" so I bet that it's right up my alley!

[@sestoeckl]

I don't have a well considered opinion on this topic yet-- these are broad statements not specific to the perspectives discussed in the episode. I just want to say how much I appreciate Ashley's critical, educated, and experienced takes. Sometimes the community can be overly insular, getting caught up in its own debates without anyone stepping back to provide an intellectual critique of the bigger picture. The conversations within the community are important, but so is the wider view. I haven't found many with a social commentary lens within the lgbtq space (outside of comedy, which is sometimes social commentary in a digestible and entertaining format). It will be a significant loss when she cashes out!

[@tambob82]

I'm 40+ and D.E.B.S is a great choice! However, XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS is the right answer.

[@kapowjam3462]

You can I just won't hear it 😂😂😂 Ashley's face was 💯

[@nathanmoranx2105]

Episode 100! Woo! I want to be a lesbian when I grow up!

[@ximepe88]

ASHLEY and ALAYNA havent watched DEBS??..?? Im in shock, it was my comfort movie when i was in university

[@monesquely]

A conversation about 1's and 0's on the 100th episode? YES.

[@beasome]

i think queer people need to also expand their horizons on queer media, thailand now has had a boost of gl dramas/series that are so good and the west doesn't seem to pay attention to it because its not american. Same thing for books and novels, china has a really big variety of danmei and baihe stories that have fantasy, magic and other themes that turn out to be very rich and complex plots a lot of the times, i guess it might not be to everyone's taste but there is a lot of queer media being made around the world

[@coolsenjoyer]

Looking for stuff around the world is defintely good and there are also vibrant communties of independent queer creators all over social media. I haven't really seen many filmmakers but plenty of authors, comic artists, other kind of visual artists, game developers and musicians. It's kinda hard to know where to even start looking but if you're at all into like fandom content, eventually you'll run into people in those kinds of spaces that make original stuff too

[@rush_amanda]

The tech update!!! IM SO INTERESTED 👂🏼

[@mariannetfinches]

I would have been 14 when Boys Don't Cry came out. I only saw it once, at the time. It inspired sympathy i'd never seen before towards trans identities. I think that honestly anything less visceral wouldn't have been given the platform that film had. It would probably have gone straight to video as a queer film. It wasn't made for us. We had no value as a film audience. I think Mak's perspective is very true to the current climate. But in the 90s there were plenty of folks with no opinion on trans people (can you imagine)! Having a scene like that where you're fully in it, experiencing the panic & the humiliation, it really showed people how harmful we could be just by not being supportive. It allows hate to go unchecked. But yeah, that film wouldn't make any sense today, because everyone already has their opinion, & those who're sympathetic don't want to be seeing that violence

[@FreestyleTraceur]

Aw dang, I wanted the tech update from Ashley lol. Super curious about what you're making!

[@RDawn]

HAPPY 100!!

[@missanthrop0cene]

When you explained boys don’t cry, I remembered a movie called “The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson” that I watched when I was like 12. Truly heartbreaking but good for empathy for trans people.

[@ishapurandare5685]

Sex education is an inclusive show that's well done.

[@jackieo-]

Omg 100 episodes! Congrats you guys - Feel like it was just yesterday that I stumbled on this channel! Ummmm Ashley do you need a UI/UX Designer for your “tech thing” 👀 I would be happy to help (pro bono)

[@duncansonoryan]

I remember when Brandon was killed. That ish is... sad. And terrifying (as a trans man). Separately, D.E.B.S. is awesome. And I'd also recommend Better Than Chocolate.

[@mariannetfinches]

Better Than Chocolate is one of my favourite sapphic films!

[@GraceNcube]

LOVED all the techy explanations!

[@kristinavernaldi]

Loved this episode. Also, Big Swiss should have gotten more credit at the end 😊 Such a great novel ♥

[@the_rest_is_confetti]

So excited for Jodie Comer to play Big Swiss when that comes out!

[@kristinavernaldi]

@@the_rest_is_confetti oh yes can't wait 😍

[@benjulesrun9057]

honestly I'd listen to anyone talk passionately about their expertise even if it doesn't affect me or my life at all

[@ttarotkidd]

Mak is right, canes are hot af. Just look at Aubrey Plaza

[@Zoomalyssa]

HAPPY 100 EPISODES EVERYONE!!!! Can’t believe I’ve watched 100 of these lol 💗💗

[@MagiCalculus]

Try looking into more SEA media on queer content, we’re getting a lot of what you are saying. A film where being gay is not the main theme, film that focuses on representation, film that focuses on hardships, a bad film, and a good film.

[@terraexcognita6637]

If y'all aren't watching Evelyn Dar's upcoming lesbian media videos, you should be. She's also a kick-ass novelist.

[@scanya65]

happy 100!!

[@terukoarimori]

I'm so happy for these 100 episodes 🎉

[@stephtaylor6292]

Omg mak I also watched boys don't cry 2 nights for the first time also. And also did not know what I was getting into. I was aware it was a queer movie, that is all going into it. Super weird hearing you express the same

[@boredveryverybored9887]

Ashley is like that one mythical engineer with both incredible intelligence and charisma who no one believes actually exists.

[@annaw7]

I thought the christmas movie was so cute though, stupid. but so so cute it's like the only one we've got 😭

[@smaragdapapadopoulou7807]

I don't see anyone else doing this, so here we can start the "good queer books comment thread" for the good of humanity ❤ I'll start 😘

[@smaragdapapadopoulou7807]

HEARTSTOPPER BY ALISE OSEMAN FHSJDJ!!!! I was desperately waiting for you to mention this series all episode 🥲 It's a graphic novel series that has been adapted to an amazing and heartwarming TV show on Netflix, and I don't know about you, but in my head it's just happiness/queer joy on a silver plater and I'm obsessed 🥰🥰

[@smaragdapapadopoulou7807]

Also, the Aristotle and Dante duology by Benjamin - Alire Saenz is also a very cool storie about gay teens - a little bit kore sad tho

[@smaragdapapadopoulou7807]

AND bc I don't often see sapphic book recs: Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid is epic, and She Gets The Girl by Rachel Lippincott and her wife who's name I don't remember off the top of my head is also a fun lil queer romance book ❤

[@mariannetfinches]

The Power Book by Jeanette Winterson is high art Will I Ever Have Sex Again by Sofie Hagen is nonfiction. They're an excellent standup comedian, a bisexual who's never slept with a woman, & it's a thoughtful, well researched conversation about the reasons people who want to have sex, choose not to have sex

[@mariannetfinches]

Oh! Just remembered Under The Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta. A novel set near the end of the Nigerian civil war. It's harrowing, but beautiful. Reads like a biography

[@abby8098]

Bound (1996) is a great Thriller/Crime moive that is centered around 2 lesbians. The movie is not all about them being gay, it’s just a part of it and I really like that. It’s just overall a really good movie and it’s on Pluto Tv

[@Raddiebaddie]

I knew Ashley was talking about Happiest Season right away ahaha -- I love BOOKSMART!

[@chardhrosreaper2307]

When it comes to the choice and mechanics involved with creating art, the question of whether to show, tell, or allude can be a considerable challenge. No method, approach, or technique guarantees absolute success, and not everyone is going to understand. In comedy, not everyone ends up getting the joke. Involving the imagination of the audience instead of showing a graphic scene through the eyes of the director means that many may not paint the intended picture, even when extra effort is made to make it very paint-by-numbers. Done well, it is possible to achieve a greater impact than showing horror directly. The first season of True Detective is the first example that comes to mind, where nightmarish behavior is recorded and the only parts visible to the audience are a couple lead-up shots and the reaction in the face of a detective watching for the first time. However, imagination can be powerful to also blunt the impact and make a scene less powerful. Maybe the audience will be more invested and paint a more personal picture, though at the other end of that spectrum there may be no direct experience to draw upon, whether from being insulated to those parts of life or even having the mistaken teaching that certain social groups aren't worth the consideration of a full person. Instead of relying on faith in the audience, I can understand taking the choice to cut out the uncertainty of re-interpretation and just show the scene directly. That way the audience only has to focus on understanding and relating to what they witness without having to fill in the painful details as well: when everyone talks about the scene later there is certainty that everyone saw the same thing (and the tape can be checked). When Boys Don't Cry came out, the social climate included a gradually increasing awareness that those who grew up male with a desensitization towards violence to a degree that most were not just less responsive, but habitually unaware that violence was even present and being actively ignored. Even when violence was noticed, it was often downplayed and minimized: boys will be boys. It can be hard work to even come to terms with how horrifying that phrase can be and the damage it covers up, just because it could be so often heard and part of everyday life. Movies are not quickly made and are work that often takes years between inspiration and completion. Ashley's point that certain demographics get fewer releases also means that less material was released because maybe there was already a well-known, gay title. It rarely mattered if the labelling was accurate, because those applying the labels often didn't take the time to even try to understand the topic seriously. The film Kids (1995) was still very much in the social consciousness, and The Crying Game (1992) cast an even longer shadow with added attention and debate that survived for years as a topic. Especially at that time, there were few chances granted to tackle the subject matter of Boys Don't Cry. That can be a lot of pressure for the artists involved, and with so few opportunities it is easy to understand the extra effort and attention given to make sure the topic is impactful and doesn't fall prey to taking half-measures. Such scenes of violence can be very hard to watch, especially when juxtaposed against scenes where characters respond to the harrowing events in such a trivial manner. That being said, such an unpleasant, uncomfortable experience while watching such layers of violence are certainly less damaging than living them. That is not an easy subject for artists to grapple with.

[@zyxxyzify]

Thank you for telling us what the book was 😂

[@Zweigenhaft9]

Mac is so pure and wholesome lmfao omg so precious... Fully agree that if you take rape scene past the point of implication its trauma porn and gross. But as far as representation, we had to get through the traumatizing stories to humanize us to the masses before we were able to get to the full breath of representation we have today. Also it wasnt until Laverne Cox in the 20teens that we had trans ppl portraying trans stories. 100% all of the critiqued aspects are just products of its time.

[@njodice6731]

DEBS is great !!! Jordana Brewster is in it (probably spelt wrong)

[@SpaceyD]

Can't wait for the Lilly update on WHGS Patreon!

[@rollespil1000]

Ding, podcast level 100 😀 ❤

[@LaraMoore-k1r]

Happy 100 Also recommend watching D.E.B.S 2004

[@PeachNEPTR]

I get the two cents, on queer discourse, I think as a community we’re just already having those kinds of conversations. I don’t remember the exact quote but Melissa Etheridge was being asked about the queer baiting of Russian fake lesbian pop duo tATu said roughly; it’s such an amazing change that it’s PROFITABLE for them to pretend to be gay, so she’s happy with that. I think there’s just such a weird frame of reference with how fast culture seems to shift these days.

[@icedoatm1lklatte]

happy 100 episodes!!!

[@mildredperkins5791]

I'm surprised no one mentioned Love Lies Bleeding as a film that isn't about being queer, but have queer main characters in a trippy gangster noir.

[@bethanygreenwood8259]

Episode 100!! 🥳

[@iamtherealiamcam]

8:35 mak: *radio waves..* 👁👄👁