The (Real) Delusion That You're a Corpse

More than just feeling a little dead inside.
Thank you Patron deathlings, who make this all possible!
/ thegooddeath
Learn more about the Mortals' Market: www.mortalsmarket.com/
Learn more about Self Help Graphics & Art: www.selfhelpgraphics.com/
**WAYS TO SUPPORT AND GROW OUR MOVEMENT**
Join our community of deathlings and support Ask a Mortician: / thegooddeath
Support the education and advocacy efforts of The Order of the Good Death: bit.ly/3iaz9jN
Shop our advocacy wear: the-order-of-the-good-death.m...
**MORE DEATH CONTENT & RESOURCES**
Books: caitlindoughty.com/books
MORTAL course: www.mortalcourse.com/
Our podcast on iTunes: apple.co/2yK6c6G
Spotify: spoti.fi/2QZEVEM
Google Play: bit.ly/2AdEvoj
The Order of the Good Death - articles, resources, updates, and more: www.orderofthegooddeath.com/
**SOCIALS**
Order Instagram: / ordergooddeath
Caitlin Instagram: / thegooddeath
Order Twitter: / ordergooddeath
**CREDITS**
Mortician: Caitlin Doughty
Producer & Writer: Louise Hung (@LouiseHung1)
Editor & Graphics: Landis Blair (@landisblair)
Additional Research: Remy Servis
This video was greatly informed by the essays of Esmé Weijun Wang, her book "The Collected Schizophrenias", as well as interviews with Ms. Wang. Thank you Ms. Wang, for sharing your experiences with such candor and humor. esmewang.com/
**MUSIC**
Operating System (Sting) by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (creativecommons.org/licenses/...)
Artist: www.twinmusicom.org/
**SELECTED SOURCES**
"Extending the World: An Interview with Esmé Weijun Wang"
www.awpwriter.org/magazine_me...
"This rare illness makes people think they’re dead"
www.washingtonpost.com/nation...
"Mindscapes: First interview with a dead man"
www.newscientist.com/article/...
"No Seriously, I'm Dead"
blogs.scientificamerican.com/...
“When the Patient Believes That the Organs Are Destroyed: Manifestation of Cotard's Syndrome.”
Machado, Leonardo. Case reports in medicine vol. 2016 (2016)
"Etudes sur les Maladies Cérébrales et Men-tales"
Paris, Baillière, 1891. 10 Cotard J, Camuset M, Séglas J: Du délire des Néga-tions aux Idées D’énormité. Paris, L’Harmattan, 1997.
Jules Cotard
www.histoiredelafolie.fr/psych...
“Charles Bonnet's Description of Cotard's Delusion and Reduplicative Paramnesia in an Elderly Patient (1788).”
Förstl, Hans, and Barbara Beats.
British Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 160, no. 3, 1992.

[@TheDemonicJenny]

My mom had surgery in January and called me at 4am from the hospital because she thought she was dead and laying in the morgue and complained that she was cold and that her doctor made a mistake. This was the SINGLE MOST TERRIFYING phone call I have ever received.

[@owen.o.z._5283]

i really hope she's ok, that's horrifying

[@TheDemonicJenny]

@@owen.o.z._5283 she's fine now, and doesn't really remember the conversation. I had called the nurse's station to see if someone could check on her and the nurse told me she was just in the room talking to my mom, and my mom wanted to watch tv and plug her phone in and was acting normal. So she had like a 5 minute psychotic moment. She had a tumor removed from her abdomen and was on some heavy drugs

[@rose_ugh]

Calling my health insurance now to make sure they cover precious stone and opium powder.

[@falsehcf]

Lmao this comment is so underrated

[@stephaniemartin-ward4578]

Grind up some hydrocodone or oxycodone = voila! Opium powder covered by insurance! I still need to figure out the precious gems.

[@KirkLee1983]

@@stephaniemartin-ward4578 I want some

[@catherineklabouch9749]

Zing! Bring it back, babe!

[@misfitrosetarot]

Yes! LOL

[@shmorange]

“you may think i’m hot but i’m also a rotting corpse. sucks to be you, sir” is the best quote i’ve ever heard

[@lily-mo2gc]

It can be a better alternative for “i only like u as a friend” 😬

[@b.benjamineriksson6030]

We who has seen Nekromantik & Nekromantik 2 knows it doesn't really matter. The courting process involves more shovels than ordinary dating but otherwise it is fairly the same.

[@BlackReshiram]

i legit irl thought "thats such an iconic thing to think in a situation like that"

[@paulgibbon5991]

I just thought of the last line of "Some Like It Hot". "Well....nobody's perfect!"

[@jacilynne5313]

My next reply at a bar ..

[@manifestationsofasort]

My cousin had Cotard's. He had died for ten minutes. When he woke up, he thought his spirit was stuck in his body. For six months he thought he was dead and tried to leave his body. He fell asleep one night and he just...snapped out of it. It was scary.

[@catiag1558]

Omg

[@ThePitchblue]

how did he try to leave his body?

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

That sounds horrifying. Hope he's doing okay now. :(

[@metalflower9543]

Oh that sounds terrible... how's he doing now? I heard about that from Pelle/Dead from Mayhem. Btw I love your pic of Joey 🤘🏻 (sry for my English^^)

[@lilgothpotato4867]

@@metalflower9543 if only pelle had snapped out of it too :/

[@Natalie-101]

I'm not like the other girls, I'm *A ROTTING CORPSE*

[@rsolsjo]

I can't believe it's not necrophilia

[@Mo-hx3nm]

💀💀💀💀

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

💀😂😂😂😂

[@isunlloaoll]

Don't worry, I like it that way 😏

[@adelinewurzer4533]

me

[@nicolepiechocki3118]

"You may think I'm hot, but I'm also a rotting corpse. Sucks to be you, sir," is Millennial ennui in a nutshell and I am a huge fan.

[@technopoptart]

this needs to be set to lofi and read out loud to an audience

[@rudetuesday]

Esmé Weijun Wang's a wonderful writer, and I highly recommend her work.

[@cclyon]

Gen Xers have been walking dead for years.

[@rudetuesday]

@@cclyon Am Gen X, can confirm.

[@childofcascadia]

Me too. Also confirm

[@z0mbiepuppy840]

hi, i am someone with cotards, thank you for making a video about this that doesn't sensationalize it and make it seem like some horror movie cheap trope or something like a lot of people often do. its really important to me to humanise the condition and remember the person

[@sarfati1507]

This is so fascinating to me, how did it start?

[@chloeedmund4350]

How are you doing now?

[@CarloisBuriedAlive]

This person dropped a bomb and then left - come back, we all have questions!☝️

[@z0mbiepuppy840]

@@sarfati1507 i had a su1cide attempt in feb 2020, and bc the world shorty went to shite my brain coped by believing i had died and was in a sort of purgatory hallucination before the afterlife. i believed that any new person i met after my death were angels

[@z0mbiepuppy840]

@@chloeedmund4350 im actually doing a lot better !! with therapy ive managed to overcome it completely :)) it lasted from feb 2020 to about june 2021 :)

[@savannahroberts426]

Honestly I thought everyone who had depression experienced this and didn't know it was unusual. Thank you for making this video, I'm going to seek medical help for it.

[@slithra227]

How'd it go?

[@grass7864]

Good luck with that.

[@Infinite_voyager]

I hope you found the assistance you needed 👐🏼

[@urmammy84]

1 year later. I truly hope you got it all taken care of, and are living your best life. ✨

[@yaboicolleen]

I hope you're doing better now, or at least on the way 💛

[@earthavi]

i really appreciate you talking about this. it’s so difficult to explain to people (even mental health professionals!) in a way that gets across the fact that it’s not *feeling* like you’re dead, you *are* dead and it’s pointless to feed your body or have any kind of treatment. When I was in the midst of my worst episode with it I would pick at parts of my skin because I thought they were rotting, I would refuse medication, I was convinced that my chest cavity was completely empty and I had no concern for my own safety. It is a terrifying delusion and while it’s been a few years since that time, I am constantly worried of it coming back.

[@kphoto83]

Sending prayers and love that it never burdens you again!🙏❤️🙏

[@micaelahermoso5607]

Thank you for sharing this. I wish you the best and I really hope it doesn't come back

[@LihlCherry]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.. Sending prayers and good vibes🙏🏻💕

[@gus2600]

this the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard of ! Are you alive at the writing of this ?

[@yesterdayitrained]

I am so sorry- I cannot imagine going through that- sending you peace and love

[@Hydrea1]

This brings a whole new meaning to being dead inside

[@ClepsidraSideral]

🙄

[@arcturus4939]

Oh look muichiro! My fav dead pillar 😭

[@Lighting_Desk]

Mood.

[@prateekkumar8846]

O.M.G!!!! Your’e so right!

[@dianafossi1295]

AHAHAHAHAH

[@kristenk6898]

I was detoxing off of drugs and suffered psychosis for about a full week of intense hallucinations. I was in the emergency room and I remember thinking I had died and my spirit, instead of going off into the universe had accidentally come into a new body and this body I was in wasn't mine. I remember thinking the only way to get out of my predicament was to use this body to run into oncoming traffic.

[@drivethrupoet]

Glad you are better now! How horrible!!

[@argylegrocery]

I'm so glad you're okay!

[@myMelody4life]

Oh my goodness, that would be terrifying! I'm glad you're okay!

[@logbuzz]

;p;

[@DaniL731]

I hope all is well for you now. That sounds terrifying considering you were going through so much already. Thinking of you

[@titsoutforlusikka]

"Really, that shade of black?" "This coffin is not comfortable. AT. ALL!" "I did not die for these half dried flowers!" "You're not crying enough for me Shanon!" "Will I have to get up and bury myself?! Dig harder, you dingus!"

[@pogfection787]

"Mom, please stop, I'm trying my best"

[@Rose-uf1eh]

Karen even in death...

[@jewelzzz4455]

This sounds like my mom agh, "are you wearing black so you don't look as fat? Of course you couldn't wear a pretty color on MY DAY" lol

[@ananyaneralla5382]

"That one over there is crying way too much I don't remember being that tight with her make her stop ffs"

[@professorcurious]

"You've all convinced me to go on living, by showing me how trash my funeral will be!" - Bender (3004 AD)

[@alecwinner]

I was diagnosed with psychosis after i attempted suicide, this was one of my recurrent delusions, oddly enough it probably helped save my life as I was convinced i'd succeeded in kill myself, thus didn't try again while i still held the delusion, i didn't attempt again. Though after i went on then back off some antipsychotics i did try again a few more times, tho the delusion never came back. Edit: To those of you sending lovely words you’re all amazing! I havent tried to end my life in almost 4 years. A feat I never thought i would achieve! Thank you for your kind words.

[@lillystern]

Im glad youre still here!

[@moonbook12]

Thanks for sharing this with us

[@theluth9046]

So thankful you didn't! I'm sure there are people and family that would greatly miss you! Take care and take care of number one.....

[@earthavi]

hey, same! well i had been diagnosed with psychosis years prior but that particular delusion didn’t manifest until after an attempt.

[@ms.krueger2660]

You are here for a reason.😎I’m sure someone would miss you.😢Think of all the people that would be affected by your passing.🤔Do you really want them to hurt FOREVERMORE?!!! 💜All life is precious!!!! 🦚🌼🍄🐚🌹🌻🌸🦜🦋

[@khotsomosia2260]

Im a chef and I “watch” your videos on my phone, while working, with the sound from your videos battling with our huge commercial extraction fans. At first, my boss and my colleagues thought I had a weird obsession to your videos (death). Now they are becoming more open to talk about their own cultural practices around death and how those practices/traditions/rituals colored their views towards mortality, the dead body and what happens to it when they die. The death positivity and knowledge about the funeral industry is spreading, in a little remote costal village in the Eastern Cape in South Africa, because of you! *it also helps that i listen to you LOUDLY in the kitchen like those armageddon street preachers on loud speakers😂😂😂* Anyway, much love from South Africa 🇿🇦, thank you for teaching us about death plans and taking back ownership of the care of our dead amongst other things❤️🙏🏾

[@kirikirikiri99]

That's absolutely wonderful! Great job, Khotso, and keep spreading that death positivity!

[@HowToKillYourself]

hahahaha this is such a wonderful comment, you're great :D

[@mysticmama_3692]

My husband is a chef as well....I know how loud you'd be playing these videos over the chaos of a restaurant kitchen! Good that you've chosen to play something educational. I love it!

[@DizzyPlasma]

Omg, fellow South African here 🖤. Glad to know that there are more of Caitlin's fans here 😅.

[@cleof1503]

Hey.. fellow saffer here. Durbanite ..

[@rainbowmelody4393]

“He believed his brain was dead and that he had killed it” Nietzsche: sick bro

[@samisearle4960]

I'm a mental health therapist. Some years ago, our office had a client who believed he was a ghost. Very interesting case.

[@pringlebatch]

I imagine such a delusiom would impact your life quite a bit, even if it didn't cause you distress

[@rsolsjo]

In the underworld: She's delusional, this lady thinks she's alive!

[@emmecross2204]

Lmfao this is an underrated comment

[@rsolsjo]

@@emmecross2204 You are an underrated person!

[@dbadaddy7386]

"Doctor, I'm dead." "Do corpses bleed?" "No." Doctor pokes patient and sees blood. "See? You're bleeding!" "Huh, guess corpses can bleed after all."

[@maddieb.4282]

Unfortunately that is a really accurate example of how delusions work. They aren’t logical and they can wrap around so many different inconsistencies. If they were logical they wouldn’t be delusions 😂

[@dbadaddy7386]

@Mr Temporal If the corpse is talking to you, it might not be a corpse.

[@NotTodaySatan557]

exactly!

[@nalinea18]

@@dbadaddy7386 unless you're an aspiring necromancer / Umbrella Corporation scientist.

[@dbadaddy7386]

@@nalinea18 Shhh. That would be telling.

[@ironboobs]

- Are you classified as human? - Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

[@PolarBear-rc4ks]

Omg i love that movie

[@littledeadridinghood5253]

Awesum reference

[@tf4698]

I just wanted to let you know that my cat loves your videos. When she hears me watching one she comes running over and settles in to watch it. She purrs super intensely the entire time she's watching it also. I know it's weird and creepy, but felt like you should know you have a feline fan.

[@jeskvell3254]

what cat name

[@aileenellis6392]

I used to have a friend a long time ago (back in the 1980s) who I think suffered from this condition, but I didn't know it had a name until now. I don't remember my friend ever calling it Cotard's Delusion or anything else. She just described it to me, and I remember being horrified by what she went through. I don't think I even believed her at first, but her mother later confirmed most of what my friend told me. I was about 16 or 17 years old when I met my friend (I'm gonna call her Z). She was 30 and my best friend's cousin. From what Z told me, her belief that she was a corpse started suddenly during the summer after her freshman year in college (when she was 19 years old). According to her, up until that time she had been healthy and happy. One day she and some friends decided to go for a boat ride. During the ride, Z started to feel "strange." She says she felt an urgent need to get back to the shore, but she didn't know why. She tried to ignore it at first, but it only got worse and she started to panic. It got to the point where she was crying and screaming at her friends to turn the boat around. Confused, her friends did as she asked. Once on the shore, her panic subsided somewhat, except she now believed she had drowned during the boat ride and was now a corpse. She tried to tell her friends what had happened to her, but they of course didn't believe her. They tried explaining to her that she couldn't have drowned because she was never in the water, and that she was definitely not dead because she was talking to them. Z couldn't explain how she had drowned when she had never left the boat, or why she was still able to talk and walk, but she firmly believed she was dead. And that was just the start. Once she got home, she went into her room and lay herself down on the bed, perfectly still, like a corpse. She thinks she may have fallen asleep, and when she woke up she found she couldn't move because rigor mortis had set in. She remained on that bed, in one position, for two and a half days, unable to move or speak. She could feel her body decomposing and hear flies buzzing around her. She was also aware of her mother coming into the room , asking her what was wrong, touching her face and trying to get her to drink water, but Z says she was physically unable to answer or move. (For a long time after Z told me this, I tried to imagine what it would be like to go through something like that, and the thought terrified me). On the third day, Z's mom called a doctor. Z was taken to a hospital, and eventually diagnosed with Catatonic Schizophrenia and transferred to a mental hospital. By the time I met Z, she no longer believed she was dead (at least as far as I know). According to her, she just snapped out of it one day. Although she did have a second, similar episode when she was in her mid-20s. And although some days Z recognized that her belief that she was dead had been a delusion, at other times she would say that she had actually been dead. Sorry about the novella (and kudos to you if you read this far!). I didn't intend for this post to be so long. I hadn't thought about Z in a long time, and I guess watching this video just brought the memories back -- once I started writing, I just kept going. I think I'm going to try to find out what happened to Z after I moved away, even though I'm afraid it's probably not going to be good. ☹️

[@Starlight_Silver]

Fascinating

[@MossyMozart]

@Aileen Ellis - I think that it would be good for Z to know that you still care about her.

[@katiekane5247]

@@MossyMozart definitely.

[@nicolestewart]

This is totally facinating

[@knight671]

Thank you for sharing! That’s incredibly interesting but I can imagine it caused massive amounts of mental torture for Z.

[@TonySlug]

My grandmother had a "near death experience" when she was a teenager ca. 1910 - 1915 while undergoing ear surgery, which today, is a simple, 15 minute standard procedure. Back then, it was a serious, life threatening operation. She saw her own physical body, from above, while floating upwards, could hear (and remember !) everything that was said in the room. "We're sorry M'am, but she's gone." Strangely she experienced feelings of bliss, beauty all around her and also could hear clanging church bells. The sound of her mother (my great grandmother) weeping was when she decided to "go back" into her physical body. Good thing she did else I wouldn't be here typing this. After this, she was NEVER afraid of death, and lived through two world wars to be almost a hundred years old.

[@xyriusd832]

It's so weird that so many people say they see themselves floating above their body. My mother told me many years ago this happened during childbirth as she was having complications and supposedly almost passed away. She also said she saw someone and she kept repeating to them " i cant leave yet" and she came back to her body...

[@animeaftermidnight2765]

I thoroughly don't understand this comment and the way you've written it so please explain. What did she do to show that she was not afraid of death? Your grandma was in the military for both world wars? That's highly improbable. how is living through two world wars and actual achievement? Lots of people lived through two world wars unless they were actively dying in the war. You could tell me about an actual achievement of your lovely wonderful grandma perhaps that would make more sense.

[@milkdud5418]

@@animeaftermidnight2765 chill. the original comment was just detailing an experience her grandmother had during ear surgery back then where she had a vision where she was passing away, but the sound of her mother crying spared her and brought her back to her body. they said she wasn't afraid of death after that experience because while she was passing away, she felt wonderful and saw beauty. then they detail how after that, she lived a long life. and have you never heard of the common praises "they survived x war" or "they survived the both world wars"?

[@AmandaKayHowell]

@@animeaftermidnight2765 For that generation living through a WW was a big deal! It wasn't easy even if you were on the home front. My grandmother who went through WWII told me she never wanted to go through that again. She died a couple of years before 911... I have a strange peace that that is how she would have wanted it. To not have to live through another Pearl Harbor and resulting war. The original comment makes complete since to me. I'm sadden someone doesn’t understand what WWII was like to live through. Find some survivors of WWII and have a chat with them... before it's too late and the lessons they learned the hard way are completely forgotten and we end up reliving it without a clue.

[@LordofFullmetal]

@@animeaftermidnight2765 Why would she have to "prove" she was no longer afraid of death? You do know you can just feel emotions inside without having to ACT on them, right? That's a thing people do.

[@abyss57]

I’m really surprised I haven’t seen anyone in the comments mention Per Yngve “Pelle” Ohlin who went by the stage name “Dead” in the Norwegian black metal band Mayhem. From what I’ve learned, he was obsessed with death and convinced that he was dead following a childhood incident, with a lot of authors suspecting he had Cotard’s syndrome. He was possibly the first metal artist to wear corpse paint, and he would also bury his clothes in the ground so they could start to rot before he dug them up to wear them during performances, all because he wanted to look as much like a corpse as possible. TW: SUICIDE- Unfortunately, it seems like he didn’t receive any psychological help and he took his own life in 1991, at age 22.

[@skeextree]

I was looking for this comment

[@juliannewarren5466]

If I haven't found this comment, I would have to post it myself. A mentally ill person sharing accommodation with Euronymous was a tragedy waiting to happen. Tragic story by itself, but to give away pieces of his skull as memorabilia, not to mention the album cover picture of his corpse takes it to a completely new level of demented behaviour.

[@patrickmcdade7353]

Mayhem recorded some of the best Black Metal ever! Listen to "Live in Leipzig" bootleg concert to hear Dead at his best!!!

[@abyss57]

@@patrickmcdade7353 I have that one on vinyl! Definitely his best surviving work

[@patrickmcdade7353]

@@abyss57 Vinyl, you are lucky for sure!

[@gabybiz6089]

My husband almost passed away almost 3 years ago. I saw him bleeding out, His eyes roll up and go blank.. We rushed him to the E.R ! Thankfully he lived, he was in the hospital for a week and the day he was back home I took a long nap, when I woke up he was in the living room.. I panicked I thought I had dreamed the fact that he made it and was back home. I rushed to living room to make sure I hadn't dreamed or Imagined it. I had a weird thing run through my mind a few times after. I would "joke" with him saying what if I actually went crazy ..and you died and I am imagining you being here😫😬.. And I would catch myself laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat and thinking "Dang .. I took this sound for granted so many times before.. I cant believe that this man would be buried in the ground and would be decomposing yet here he is ❤😮😭 I know im weird.. But its crazy how our brains deal with traumatic experiences .. Aaaanyway Happy Birthday Caitlyn's MOM💕😀

[@SpaceAntlers]

I kind of think this way too, though havent had a traumaric experience like yours. when I'm snuggling with my partner I always think of those ancient burials they find of couples where the skeletons of the people are visibly huddled together in a hug or embrace, and wonder "if we were buried in ash right now, what would our bones look like when scientists discovered us in 1000 years..." Kind of morbid but also romantic at least to me. Cheers and thanks for sharing 😊

[@starscreamofvos]

If seeing him dying scared you, then please stop paying for others to die. www.watchdominion.com

[@gbrown932]

I have a similar experience but my husband actually did die and I have dreams be lived and i wake up and search for him. Takes a few minutes to process it was a dream and he had in fact died. 4 years ago on the 19th and I still have it

[@anceptus]

Totally understand the feeling. My boyfriend went through one month with a misdiagnosed fully popped and collapsed lung, had two surgeries and lost 4cm of one of his lungs. It was really scary and despairing to everyone, but he made it through. Every single time he's asleep I always make sure he's breathing properly, and every time I'm laying on his chest listening to the sound of his heartbeat, I savor the moment and I just show gratitude towards being able to listen to it one day more. He's really important to me and I'm just glad to have him here. Ever since it happened, though, I became devoted to unpacking my exaggerated fear of death, loss and mourning. That's how I got here. Doing better than I used to, in this regard, which is something I'll always thank Caitlyn and the Deathling community for :)

[@abelk918]

Do you know how strong a delusion would have to be for Mademoiselle X to die of starvation? Her brain overrode the biological desire to eat. The human brain is a fascinating place.

[@cyansloth1763]

Bandit Montgomery I understand feeling upset, especially if it makes one feel like they’re being treated as less worthwhile or somehow less of a human. It’s not so. I personally have a couple mental illnesses and I do personally find them fascinating at times, but at other times I find others fascination to be ignoring my pain and dehumanizing me.

[@stormqueen29]

For a while anyway. After a certain period of time passes without eating, you just stop being hungry. The signals from your stomach to your brain either cease altogether or become so weak the brain no longer registers them. I've experienced it. I was hospitalized on a few separate occasions for various things, and in each case being unable to eat for a few days for specific treatments, by the third day, I stopped feeling hungry completely. Then when I tried to start eating again, I actually felt so sick from eating I wouldn't eat again. The human body is a strange thing no doubt.

[@mirandah9758]

Bandit Montgomery Get over yourself. Most of us have some sort of mental illness. How would doctors learn anything if they couldn’t research?!?! You should want people interested to bring awareness and maybe treatments or a cure. Stop being a victim. I don’t even know why you would watch this educational channel if every single thing is offensive to you.

[@maryamdear2122]

Miranda H I really don’t get their train of thought. Medicine is fascinating. Brains are fascinating, Nd I guess only in 2020 would that be offensive. Bigfoot dude was wishing them well with whatever condition they may have..I don’t understand people. 🤔

[@OverdramaticAngel]

@@neoncircus2365 @Bandit Montgomery I have absolutely no clue how you got the idea that Bigfoot doesn't care about people's potential suffering from what he's said. And he's _right._ If people don't find certain mental or physical health conditions interesting, nobody will research them. Little to no research means no treatments, no cure, meaning the person will either end up dying from it or suffering for their entire life until their natural death. Would you prefer that? I certainly wouldn't, especially since I _am_ someone with a rare disease- that's not even counting other, also rare, comorbidities.

[@Sushicakes2610]

Hey Caitlin, I just started watching you few months ago. I lost my dad 3 days ago, and I remembered your words of wisdom. I am usually scared of death but I was there close by him, and also caressing his dead body like I used to when he was alive. I don't know if you'd see this message but I want to say thank you so much for helping me - a 20 year old who has lost her dad

[@kishmishbhat1583]

I hope he's in a better place now and that you and your family make peace with his departure.

[@16tangerines]

What a beautiful comment! Sending love & praying for healing for you & your family.

[@justinhamilton8647]

I hope you’re well currently. Stay strong, we’re in this together. -a 20 year old who has also lost his dad

[@Sushicakes2610]

@@justinhamilton8647 we got this :) we are strong I may or may not know how u feel, grief is weird

[@juliettehernandez2533]

Another 20 year old who lost her dad. Sending you all my love. ❤️

[@ladydiamondprisca]

Everything you said in the video felt vaguely familiar until you mentioned Capgras syndrome. For almost 6 months starting last year in November, I was convinced I was in hell and everyone around me were demons wearing my family's faces. It started as a suspicion " why are they acting mildly strange?". About 2 months into this period i came to a sudden realization: the surgery I had a few months ago may have caused my death and I was currently in my personal "afterlife". Then the pandemic hit and life became stressful, and the "afterlife" became hell. I kept quiet about it because I didn't want the demons to realize I was unto them. At some point in May as we started planning renovations for our new house the delusion slowly faded away. It wasn't until now that I realized I had been over it. Thank you Caitlin!

[@rachelmarie1847]

“I don’t even know what’s wrong with me but THAT would fix it” 😂😂

[@PatriciaPerkowski]

Me too!!!!!

[@kristanchecketts9914]

That's definitely a mood

[@elizabethbarron4214]

I’m so happy I found your channel. I remember being a teenager and at a family member’s funeral and everyone was whispering about how the funeral home hadn’t done a good job that she wasn’t arranged right how her hair was messed up and so I just walked up to her casket and started fixing her hair for her. To me this was my loved one she didn’t stop being her once she died so I fixed her hair for her. But everyone was appalled that I had touched her corpse and saw it as disrespectful and disgusting. But to me it was disrespectful to whisper about her when you can literally fix her hair yourself. Ever since I was a child I never understood how people could be at their loved ones side begging them not to die and once they do it’s like ‘eww dead thing get it away’. Thank you for helping me not feel so weird and giving me basically a video pamphlet to show my family 😆

[@mysticmama_3692]

Good for you! I wish I had done something for my mema at her viewing, but I didn't dare wipe off the red lipstick they put on her that made her look like a clown....she never wore lipstick a day in her life, and everyone just shook their heads at it, but did nothing to fix it themselves. Proud of you for understanding death positivity at such a young age. Hopefully this will show others how to be with their loved ones after death, instead of being afraid. Kudos to you!

[@nicoleperron3315]

I did the same at my mother's viewing, they combed her hair off her forehead, she hated her forehead and always had bangs. I knew my younger brother would freak out if he saw that so with my son as lookout the lady who worked there and I fixed her hair. I must admit the look on my son's face when I said go be a lookout and watch for your uncle while we fix this was priceless! Hahahaha. The major problem we had was my God who uses so much hairspray! My Brother still wasn't happy but I like to think it wasn't as bad as it could have been. My older brother and I would have gone for a closed casket because we know they never look right no matter how skilled the people are, but my younger brother insisted. I still remember my dad he looked like Dracula but my younger brother was too young at the time and didn't go to the viewing just the funeral. I'd like to know why we bring a picture if they don't use it to style the hair? My dad also never combed his hair off his forehead.

[@kathrynwass6422]

@@nicoleperron3315 I had the same experience. I wish I had had the guts to complain, or dig out a comb and fix my mama's hair. She always had a side bang and hated her hair brushed back away from her face. We even gave them a picture of how she wore her hair and makeup. We even gave them the makeup that she used, but all they did was brush her hair back.

[@nicoleperron3315]

@@kathrynwass6422 I know right. At the price they charge you'd think they would use the pictures provided. Me, it was more because I knew my younger brother would just blow up and make a huge scene . My mom got brain cancer and within 3 months she went from fine to dead and we brought her home to die. It was really hard on my youngest brother and he was having trouble dealing with it, we lost our dad in a car accident when he was very young so mom was the only parent he really knew. There was 10 years between us. But honestly why would anyone have trouble touching their loved one? I had given them her hair dye and makeup also. They also gave her a haircut. So me it was only the way it was styled that was wrong. I prefer to remember her when she was alive and vibrant, that's how you should see your loved one, not the few hours they're on display.

[@kathrynwass6422]

@@nicoleperron3315 OMG! My mom was diagnose with two brain tumors, one of which was the size of a grapefruit according to the specialist. She refused to have brain surgery because the outcomes were not something she was willing to live with after surgery. They gave her steriods to slow the growth of the tumor, and she lasted three months longer than the specialist had given her. We considered that a small miracle because we had her that much longer. That was 17 years ago when we buried her. She had wanted to be cremated, but my youngest brother had purchased the plot next to my dad, so she was buried next to him instead. She was well aware of this because she requested a metal coffin and we found one that looked like the cherry wood one my dad had wanted for himself. He passed a few years before my mom.

[@princesslava15]

I only have social anxiety, and while I *know* every single person in public isn't scrutinizing my every move, waiting for me to trip, make a weird face, or slip up somehow and mock me, I still FEEL that way. Knowing something logically means nothing to brains!

[@justinhamilton8647]

Exactly. I’m currently going through therapy for my social anxiety (among other mental health issues), and it’s that weird feeling that you *know* nobody gives a shit about you on the bus or walking down the street, but you still feel like all eyes are on you.

[@Dojan5]

"I am dead." "Mother! You've been dead five times since March! Do you _truly_ believe it to be final this time?" "Eeh, it's gotta stick sooner or later."

[@iwant2haveu]

Read this in an Italian accent.

[@sonicthehedgegod]

is this a golden girls quote?

[@sonicthehedgegod]

@@iwant2haveu it definitely seems like a sophia/dorothy banter from the golden girls tbh

[@yoymate6316]

let’s face it she just wanted another hit of opium

[@meldlew]

This also reminds me of the women who think they are pregnant despite ALL medical testing proving otherwise. They call it a cryptic pregnancy... and say that the fetus grows slow and the pregnancy lasts 2-7 years

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

Oh god, I remember reading a reddit thread once written by a concerned husband who's wife was suffering from this. It was just so scary hearing him relate how she'd slowly become more and more obsessed and caught up in the forums of other women. He started checking her computer and reading the posts of women encouraging her not to 'give up hope' etc. So deeply sad and disturbing.

[@casmeraki]

What makes a woman just switch and believe she is actually pregnant? Forum's like that is exactly why I feel like the Internet is so so so dangerous... For all mental illness. I know girls with anorexia do the same thing and they egg each other on to not eat and excersise longer

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

@@casmeraki 'hysterical pregnancy' has always been a problem faced by some women who are desperate to have a baby, but with these forums they can just feed more and more into their delusion, rather than seeking the help they might have done otherwise. It becomes an echo chamber where any 'dissent' (IE: attempt to look at the facts logically and based on what we actually know about medical science) is immediately shouted down or deleted because of the sheer cognitive dissonance of the people involved. Add to that, that of course some of these women do eventually fall pregnant and give birth, and then they and the others use that as 'proof' of these ridiculously long pregnancies actually being real. It is one of the dangerous aspects of the internet - that anyone can end up in an echo chamber, whether that's mental illness based, or ideologically (like incels), religiously (online cults) or politically.

[@334...4]

@@ChickenOfAwesome it basically sounds like a delusion dogs have, they even make nests and take plushies and stuff and think they are babies.

[@sophievandermeer9271]

“i AM pregnant....and it is jesus”

[@kraesims7859]

Re: the guy who thought he had no brain. You mentioned that the scan looked like it would for someone under anesthesia. I wonder if it is a type of extended sleep-walking/sleep-paralysis? Some people who sleep-walk can drive cars and function normally.

[@softballchick519]

This is an interesting thought- now you have me wanting to know too!

[@chloebowne7153]

The problem with sleepwalking is while they are “functional” and their eyes are open, they do not perceive the objects, situations and people around them (including themselves) correctly, as they are in fact dreaming. So this is a solid theory.

[@ems7623]

As I recall, the sleeping brain would not show the same activity in a scan as a brain in a vegetative state. I suspect your interesting thought would a dead-end in research into Cotard's Syndrome. However, if you want a more definitive answer you could consult the published research.

[@Badass_Brains]

It is hypothesised to be a consciousness disorder. There is Cotard's Parasomnia also; a night time version of Cotard's!

[@jenniferhamilton4533]

Caitlin, I am a mental health profession who worked with an individual who believed he had no internal organs. He because enraged when during a regular physical the doctor said he heard "normal breath sounds" as this was impossible because he had no lungs. There were several other delusions that went along with this one but he was a very interesting individual.

[@CaitlynAmanda]

“I don’t even know what’s wrong with me but that would fix it.” 😹

[@elysapethsmith8505]

*spirals down the rabbit hole of reading about walking corpse syndrome*

[@brycelynch2138]

While you're at it, check out the history of the band Mayhem. Cotard's syndrome may have had a hand in the genesis of black metal.

[@AK-jt7kh]

I understand completely. I’m 7 minutes in and struggling to remain on the page

[@linsieryan4471]

After finding my bf at the time on the floor and unconscious, his parents kept telling me to stop cpr cause it was too late, he was gone, it was vary tramatic and even though i continued to do cpr, i really did think he was gone too but have always known and was trained not to stop compressions. He lived, and for over a year i truly felt like he was gone and that i was just dreaming all the time, i was diagnosed with ptsd but i really didn't tell anyone about the feelings and thought that he was/is dead.

[@MossyMozart]

@Linsie Ryan - You are a hero!

[@proverbialloaf]

The pain you felt-the trauma from that frightful experience and how it stayed with you for so long must have been terrible. I hope you are doing much better now ♡

[@reboundingfromnarcissistic5386]

Creepy

[@AsleepOrDeadXoXo]

@michelle Lovrens I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you've gotten some emotional support for it since. It's comforting to hear he took his own life. He didn't deserve to inhabit the same Earth as worthwhile, good people.

[@Jayleenyc]

@michelle Lovrens im so sorry that happened to you, I'm glad he's gone.

[@theeldritchpen5599]

"Your organs are rotting." Every diabetic. "Well..."

[@classicambo9781]

Dude you may be wanting to see your diabetes educator if things are getting that bad!

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

"you may think I'm hot, but I'm also a rotting corpse" - well, for some people that actually improves things

[@wendywoo7031]

Oof! Now that's dark. I like it 😈🇬🇧✌

[@TheBroccoliFox]

My mother had a patient years ago who suffered from Cotard's. Obviously, she could only provide me with vague details, but she said the primary experience this poor woman had was extreme confusion over a number of things. She didn't understand how she was able to think, how people were able to interact with her and she had no memory of her death, but she was adamant that she was dead. That was the only thing she was sure of. I can only imagine how terrifying being in such a state could be. These cases are so fascinating, but terribly sad and I feel for these people and their loved ones. Thank you for doing a video on this subject.

[@MatthewMilton]

Should I quit youtube my friends keep making fun of me for it

[@TheBroccoliFox]

@@MatthewMilton Your friends are making fun of you for watching youtube? Seems weird. But if you really want my opinion, those people are not your friends if they're making you feel bad. If they are doing it not in a mean way, but in a lighthearted way, asking them to stop should be enough. As for quitting, well that's your business and there's no need to let them influence that decision. Base it on whether or not doing so would improve your life and make it better. :)

[@balargus319]

@@TheBroccoliFox Question: Did you try and reason with her? Like asking her if she thought she was a ghost? Why does she feel pain? Was she disproof of the phrase "I think therefore I am?" Because to me, that's my first instinct in a hypothetical situation talking to someone with this delusion. Either reason them the F*** out of it, or make them do some pretty funky mental gymnastics while trying.

[@spiritmatter1553]

@Matt Milton. Nah, you just need to make friends with a better class of losers.

[@TheBroccoliFox]

@@balargus319 It was an experience my mother shared with me, I had no contact with the woman myself. From the description, she was unable to grasp the logical of any of it at all. She seemed to be so disconnected, she could not reason any of her own questions. She didn't even understand how my mother was able to communicate with her in session.

[@johnchestnut5340]

An intern at a mental health institute related how his hopes of immediately helping such a patient were quickly dashed. He couldn't reason with the man. His patient conceded that dead people don't bleed. The intern pricked the patient's finger causing the patient to bleed. This elicited the response, "What do you know? Dead people do bleed."

[@alexismontez4230]

As someone with (now mostly dormant) OCD, the line "huh, corpses do bleed" is hilariously representative of how delusion logic works

[@SantaFishes101]

this actually happened to me for a few years when I was around middle to high school age... I had been medically neglected by my mom, and already had developed DID...so I began to believe that my alters were souls or ghosts inside my body, keeping it alive while it rotted from the inside. I now know my mother has both EDS and chronic fatigue syndrome, which were likely passed down to me (and my sister), and causes all of these pains and fatigue in my body. but I literally thought I was either dead, or dying...depending on who was active at the time. it was a strange childhood I've had. if you wanna know more, ask away. I've been in therapy with someone who finally diagnosed my DID for about two years now, and I'm no longer living with my mother. (or my father, who has his own set of issues). but it was very foreboding to feel like I'd already died at such a young age...and no one really believing the horrible symptoms I suffer from. :(

[@junkoenoshima2756]

I experienced something very different yet somehow I related a bit to this so I'll share my story I'm not diagnosed with anything btw Anyway I this started in 8th grade and I remember the first time it happened clearly I had no control over my own body it spoke and moved on its own while I was also there but nkt in control. I remember it being terrifying because nobody could hear me try to call for help or release how I felt inside. I hid it for about a year but when I told my mother she just said that it was just a result of a panic attack (which is not true clearly) so I just keit quiet. It still happens to me but I think I handle it better now I just try and focus (even though it gets hard) and wait it out, however I still do panic sometimes

[@naiveandjaded]

@@junkoenoshima2756 sounds like some sort of dissociation but i’m not sure, i’m sorry

[@leonardodavinci3589]

I'm very sorry to hear about your neglect, and as someone with EDS and chronic fatigue, I get the feeling. It really does feel like you're about to drop dead (or have already died). I hope you're more often believed now

[@RevolutionAndPeace]

I'm so sorry. I hope you have more supportive people in your life now.

[@levifoster2992]

Hey, similar experience here! I have DID and have specific alters with cotard's depending on the trauma they hold.

[@Onryo4444]

When I was 13 years old, I suffered a car crash, luckly it was not fatal and no one got Injured. The thing is, I was in the passager front seat, when the car crashed I felt the impact almost trowing me at the window, I was so scared that I thought I was dead. For some moments I truly believed to have died, all my senses went numb. This behaviour of believing I was dead continued for a month, I was alredy going to therapy because of other issues so it helped me recover. I'm 16 years old right now and can still remember the feeling of dread and numbness through my body and soul, sometimes it comes back and I need a lot of help after staying a week without eating. I don't know if my condition can be considered Cotard but I felt like sharing this experience.

[@pringlebatch]

After surviving a suicide attempt, I did think for a while that I'd somehow "rebooted the system" and started a new life. Not in an inspiring new outlook way, just an odd suspicion.

[@jessherselfable]

I have never heard of this, but it sounds terrifying. :( The brain is such a complicated place.

[@theob.6588]

It's not terrifying in my experience having it! I feel very comfortable most of the time with my feelings on my state. I've lived like this for years now and it was difficult at first but I adjusted with therapy.

[@nellynelly7129]

Can this make a hit?🔥kzbin.info/www/bejne/e3nUcqN9l96ZmK8

[@Viccylove]

Theo B. this makes me happy!! my boyfriend has it and he suffers a lot, so seeing that he can grow to accept it via therapy is such a relief!! ❤️

[@Viccylove]

Kah kah tysm that means a lot to both of us!! ❤️

[@jkaygoulet]

I suffered a near-death experience. This experience was caused by bad choices on my behalf. For quite some time afterwards, I regularly became worried or convinced that I had actually died in my reality & was now in another. Or that it was an endlesses dream state I was now in. But regardless I decided real or not, it was a chance to try again & to do better. To me everything seemed the same as before, but different... if that makes sense. Everything just felt slightly different. This faded with time & until now I hadn't thought about it much at all. However, this didn't hinder my life, except for the first few weeks when I refused to sleep. Now I have a beautiful son & husband & although my life hasn't gone perfectly, I spend every day trying to be a better person than the day before.

[@taylorered6874]

Same here, on my own bad choices,that was5 years ago since then everything has become much better since like a dream

[@ericredbear425]

I suffered the same after a serious car wreck in 1991 at the age of 18. I was living far from home which only lent itself to the surreal aspects. I still have passing feelings that I died that day (technically I did for a brief period), or I'm in a coma now dreaming my life. When it comes on the feeling is intense and causes me anxiety, but it usually passes within an hour. Still...

[@CinnamonCari]

A friend of my family described a similar experience that he felt after almost having a car accident a long time ago. He said it was like the movie The Others.

[@soKitBlonde]

I had this experience as well. Shortly after the car accident I had gone to Hawaii for family, and I was convinced that I was just on the plane to get my remains to Hawaii and just thought the next 3 months were dream/an afterlife vision

[@terryenby2304]

That sounds like a normal reaction to a near death experience. It’s also common to get PTSD which can be similar to your early symptoms but lasts for decades... Cotards is different. It is not the kind of condition you can simply think your way out of. Your brain has short circuited, and you need time to fix it.

[@josephdyer9726]

a lot of people believe that pelle ohlin (dead from mayhem) had this, and it's most likely part of the reason that he struggled so much with depression and self harm and eventually ended his life. the people around him that encouraged his behavior and didn't listen to his cries for help really prevented him from getting therapy or mental health care. it's sad to see such an amazing and talented individual die so young due to his mental health. i think someone might have recognized the disease in pelle had it been more well known and acknowledged.

[@epolo0128]

I learned about Cotard's Syndrome from that Untold Stories of the ER show that tells the craziest stories that doctors in the ER experienced. It was fascinating what this doctor said about the case he got. The patient WAS actually dying slowly, bc she refused to eat since she genuinely thought she was dead. Luckily, he was able to save her.

[@willasyn3136]

SAME! I JUST WATCHED THAT EPISODE!

[@censusgary]

The ultimate challenge for a therapist: How do you convince someone they’re alive?

[@zuzuspetals9281]

I suspect they don't try doing that. They most likely try to help them live the best they can as a "dead" person among other living people and get them on proper medications until the syndrome reverses itself, along with getting them to a neurologist who can do tests to get proper diagnosis and treatment plan.

[@heliosfromacrossastar878]

Hi, mental health professional here. I don’t work with people with Cotard, but I do work with a lot of people that have ptsd symptoms relating to a near death experience. Though it’s not the same, I would give it a shot to treat the experience of dying with EMDR. After all, if the brain is convinced it died, it probably can come with a disturbing image how that happened. Making that image less emotionally charged might make the brain less anxious and more capable of different explanations.

[@cerseilannister1461]

@@heliosfromacrossastar878 hi fellow mental health professional! (I'm an LSW in an outpatient setting. What do you do?) I had to respond to this because I think it's genius and I'd never have thought of this! -- i.e. using EMDR to treat Cotard's, and I think it's absolutely brilliant! I'll remember it in the unlikely event I ever get a Cotard's patient. Of course.. now I've said it, I'm sure one will walk through the doors of my clinic tomorrow...

[@Risingofthephoenixxx]

@@heliosfromacrossastar878 omg i have severe ptsd and I never heard of this!!! How do I get my therapists to try EMDR I feel she doesn't know what to do with me cause she just lets me talk the whole 45 minutes and that's pretty much it no treatment no resolution just talking and talking is great but I feel if talking was the only thing that helped with my depression and severe ptsd than we'd all be 'cured' by now!

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

@@Risingofthephoenixxx Not the person you replied to but in case it helps - EMDR is still relatively new and not all therapists have been trained to do it (in fact I'm not sure if a therapist would be able to - you might need to be a licensed psychiatrist? I don't know, I know a psychiatrist who can do it so that might just be a coincidence). You could mention it to your therapist and see if she know anyone to refer you to, or ask your doctor, or just have a google for people offering EMDR treatment in your area.

[@amypeters3960]

I'm at the "I don't need to eat because I don't exist" phase of quarantine

[@kikapup6676]

Lol same bro

[@nicelyppppppp]

this will never not remind me of per ohlin, one of the past members of the Norwegian band Mayhem. cotard’s syndrome sounds like what he may have had.

[@stinky1767]

Last time I had a psychotic episode I genuinely believed my eyes had died and it was a terrifying experience. Don’t wish it on anyone :(

[@CamillaDudi]

Pelle Ohlin aka “Dead”, a vocalist in the band Mayhem, probably had this. He had delusions that he was already dead, because of a near death experience. He would write in lettere how he was not alive and his blood was frozen in his veins, and that he did not belong in this World, belonged in the forest and would simply “wake up” after his death 🤔

[@msjuju1109]

🤘🏼

[@benjie128]

"Belonged in th e forest" I wonder if that's some of the cases of people who go to a national park and wander off. Its presumed to be suicide bc they're not seen again. (I've been watching a lot of missing 411 stories.)

[@Deshift00]

Came here to comment this, stole the words from my mouth haha!

[@whoathatsanicememe3093]

Wow, I never thought of it that way but I suspect you're right. That poor guy had such a short, sad life..and even in death wasn't treated very well. That album cover amiright..

[@ghidorahs1fan209]

That story actually got me obsessed with corpse syndrome I studied it for months it's extremely fascinating if your into strange medical things lol.

[@elizabethh560]

I've suffered from Capgras Delusion on and off since I was a 4. My first bout was because I thought my mom had been replaced by some sort of evil twin after my sister was born. I decapitated all of my baby dolls and was inconsolable by anyone who tried to tell me I was wrong. I also believed one of my grandmother's cats had been replaced by an evil clone and that Kissy wasn't really dead, he'd just been replaced. Nowadays, the delusion is still there, but I know it's not real no matter how much I'm convinced that my best friend has been replaced. I was placed on antidepressants when I was 13 and then antipsychotics when I was 14. I did not receive therapy until I was 12 and even then no one took me seriously until I wound up in a long-term psychiatric facility when I was 14. I'm aware that my delusions aren't real, but at the same time, I have trouble trying to convince myself that they are not real. My official diagnosis is "Severe Psychotic Depression"

[@kellyulrich6393]

Thank you for sharing. This sounds like a terrible and scary experience, especially for someone as young as you were!

[@somedude172]

i cant imagine being 4 and thinking my mother had been replaced... that sounds truly traumatizing. i really hope treatment is doing well for you now. thank you for sharing your experience, its so nice to be able to humanize these often sensationalized illnesses

[@yesterdayitrained]

I feel for you. I wish you the best in the future.

[@mybraineatseverything7404]

Oh, sweetheart! That's terrible! I am so sorry you have to have this experience in life. I can't imagine....I have bipolar disorder, and that's tough, but I think Capgras is much more difficult to deal with. I send you love and peace from my heart to yours. It sounds like you've got the cognitive part down, which is awesome! Mental illness of any kind is a constant struggle, even with correct medication. And one of the worst parts is, no one can "see" it, so to them it's not real. They don't understand why you can't just "get over it." Believe me, if we could, we would!

[@BriarPatchNyra]

I’m sorry you’ve dealt with that. I have OCD and I often become convinced something is germy or otherwise something is wrong and though I know I’m almost certainly being irrational I can’t get the idea to leave.

[@florafoxen]

sometimes the combination of my chronic pain and anxiety/panic attacks makes me think I am dead or dying because it feels like my marrow is rotting/i don't exist/etc. I think it's my brain rationalizing the amount of pain and stress I'm under.

[@kassiep]

Been there before :'( didn't eat or move for 9 days, can't even remember getting water or going to the bathroom. At one point I just remember by brain suddenly told me that my body is too weak and I'll not last much longer and I snapped out of it. Very weird place to be in mentally and it almost had me. I don't think I'll ever get over the ptsd of feeling that way

[@MPERIALENTERTAINMENTD]

But I am a corpse, I just haven't reached my potential yet.

[@boogiemonstermom677]

"You may think I'm hot, but I'm also a rotting corpse..." Same girl, same lol

[@user-up4es5de5f]

مرحبا

[@user-up4es5de5f]

باجملبخخعهن9هغرثضذ3لؤقف9ه7 ا تهمنا غ

[@user-up4es5de5f]

س00

[@mdtaylor2274]

Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club. . . . . . . . . It was Open Mike Night

[@SamuelBlack84]

I can imagine a comedy club where all the comedians have cotards and base their honour on it😃

[@judykeller7474]

Lmfao!

[@mdtaylor2274]

@@judykeller7474 hope it goes well with your therapist. All jokes aside, I hope you're okay and living the best life possible.

[@soldiaz7261]

i developed cotard’s after an OD in may this year and have been thinking of this video a lot since (i first watched it over a year ago i believe). for me, the delusion is transient and (luckily) hasn’t manifested in a way that endangers my safety. i’m not really a “i don’t need to eat just cremate me” corpse, i’m more a “oh sick i can still eat pizza for some reason” corpse. it’s also objectively incredibly, hysterically funny to be aware that you’re experiencing a delusion (aka double book-keeping) while still having it-it’s hard not to have a sense of humor about being a living corpse. like, yes, i’m dead. i’m also logging into my high school biology’s zoom class. this is normal.

[@ForestOokami]

I was completely unaware this was a recognized medical thing. My grandmother was hospitalized for a few months prior to her passing, but myself, my mother, and her doctors were having to constantly tell her she wasn't dead. My mother confronted her on it one night when she was discussing how strange it was to be dead and have so many people tell her that she's alive, by pointing out that her heart monitor was very much reporting her as being alive. In response? My grandmother simply hummed, gave a sage nod, and said "You know, I wondered about that too" and that was simply that. I'd assumed it was a part of some other mental things going on at the time, as she'd gone undiagnosed and untreated for, at that point, 90 years. Now knowing it was connected, it sort of helps give some perspective. Thank you for that.

[@that_teegor]

I'm always fascinated with psychological syndromes like this, and those pet scan results are wild- the guy was convinced he was brain dead and his pet scan results weren't too far off! At the same time, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that sufferers of this syndrome are real people who need care and help to hopefully come back from this.

[@sonjaya37]

I once worked with an older gentleman in an inpatient setting who had a history of schizophrenia and who felt that he had been dead for thousands of years. He was in my setting for treatment of pneumonia (aka, I'm sure he felt absolutely awful/maybe even like he was dying), and I had no history of how long he may have had this delusion. Even in a hospital setting, his delusion was never labelled and barely acknowledged and people who worked with him mostly argued with him and yelled at him when he became agitated about doing things due to believing he was dead. He did not want to get out of bed, get dressed, perform any kind of hygiene or toileting tasks, eat, or drink. It was my job to try to get him to do all of these things. I wish I had known a name for this delusion so I could have advocated for him better. If I ever encounter something similar I will now have a better idea of how to advocate for them. Thank you, Caitlin.

[@rubievale]

I once experienced Capgras delusion for a period of 6 months or so, because I thought I was immortal and took far too much LSD, as well as anything else I could source, and it bit me in the ass so hard that I haven't touched anything since. It happened 20 years ago and I can still remember the horror of the whole thing. I was entirely and utterly convinced that my family and friends had been replaced with replicas. It was the strangest thing because logically I knew it was impossible, but this went deeper than logic, it was almost primal, on a level where logical thought made no difference. It simply was and I had no ability to see things otherwise.

[@ThePerfectKagome]

I had a friend in high school talk about this. His heart stopped for a moment after either a surgery or drowning (I can't remember) years before, and afterwards felt like he was dead. I think he mentioned walking dead syndrome, which meant he was aware of what was going on but still felt that he died that day.

[@blankantho]

cool

[@chardvnnay]

What if he only has a partial of his soul 😳

[@Tinyvalkyrie410]

chardvnnay well there is no scientific definition of a soul, and essentially all religions define a soul as indivisible... you either have one or you don’t.

[@helene8706]

"fall is coming and you'll NEED death things" okay...yes maam

[@bunnycortland353]

We don't need to wait for Halloween to be spooky 🦇🦇🦇🦇🕸️🕸️🕷️🕷️🏚️🏚️⚰️⚰️⚰️👻👻👻💀💀💀

[@realleon2328]

I do not have any sort of diagnosis but last time I had a psychotic episode I was convinced that I had already died and had been dead for years and kept trying to google my name to see if I could find my obituary. Odd moment to be sure.

[@juliaadelkhanova400]

Thank you for the video, Caitlin! The story of the woman, who persuaded her relatives to put her in a coffin, reminded me of a method sometimes used in Russian villages in the 19th century to cure women. When a woman would suddenly lie down, refuse to eat and start slowly becoming weaker and fading away (which in some cases could have been symptoms of depression), her family (if they cared) would organise a funeral for her. They would wash her, dress her in new clothes, put her in a coffin in the middle of the room. For several days they would have a wake: they would sit around the coffin, crying for her and saying prayers, all the neighbours would come around to offer their condolences and sit down with the the family and talk about her and what a nice person she had been. Then the relatives would take the woman to the Russian traditional sauna, with hot steam and kvas and massage with a bunch of soft birch-tree branches with leaves. This would sometimes help and bring the woman back to life, which makes sense in case of depression or burnout.

[@owen.o.z._5283]

that's actually really sweet

[@stratman103]

"...but I'm also a rotting corpse. Sucks to be you, sir." "Well today's your lucky day, ma'am. For I am a necrophiliac."

[@melsterifficmama1808]

😂😂😂

[@Auoranora]

Best comment

[@jackimoon8284]

🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@jackimoon8284]

This reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once...it said: Necrophilia: The urge to crack open a cold one

[@surfeit1585]

I suffered with this after a suicide attempt and was convinced I was dead for years and thought I was in hell (idk in church they always said hell would be personal for you and every day felt like hell? even though I'm clearly alive and well) it's a very odd yet terrifying thing to look back on

[@IvVicious]

That sounds scary as fuck, I'm so sorry :( Hope you're doing better now

[@emmym7989]

Thank you for covering this subject so respectfully, just like every other subject you cover. I don't have this particular disorder, but I do struggle with Depersonalization-derealization disorder, and there's vague similarities in some ways. I don't think I'm dead, but I feel disconnected from my body and the world around me. I've had episodes of it since I was a child, but they were all relatively short. As an adult, I've had a lasting episode for about 5 years now. There's some days where the feeling isn't as intense but still there, and there's some days where it's so bad that I have panic attacks. It usually happens if I've been talking for a long time out loud, or have seen pictures of myself or look in a mirror for too long. It tends to happen in times of stress but has also just happened randomly. Sometimes in the middle of sentences, I'll get a more heightened episode of it, and you can see a physical change in my facial expression and body language. I also start to have a more "lost" structure to my sentences, and it's hard to explain to people that don't already know about it. I feel like I'm in a dreamlike state, and that I'm watching my whole life from behind glass. It's an odd type of dissociative disorder in the way that you're usually aware or somewhat aware that you are still real, but your brain just isn't getting it. I don't know how to explain it in greater detail, but if you'd experienced an episode of it, you'd know. Many, many people experience an episode of it at least once in their lives, but it usually doesn't become chronic for them. Nonetheless, it is scary at times, and difficult to deal with at first. Even now, it still gets hard sometimes. But you kind of develop this sense of numbness to it, or at least I did. I still feel it there all the time, but it usually doesn't get to me that often anymore. It can be caused by many factors, trauma being one of them. It does go as quickly as it comes, though. One moment, your head will feel a bit like static and the next everything is perfectly normal. Again, thank you for covering this topic so respectfully and being non judgemental towards those who suffer with it. It's always heartbreaking to see an article or video about a mental disorder you have and just see a bunch of negative words like "crazy" thrown around a bunch. Or even worse, like the clickbait you mentioned, 'You won't sleep after learning about THIS mental disorder! You could be next!' People can be fascinated about things like this without being assholes lol It creates more stigma around those with mental health issues, and can lead people to suffer in silence. It's hard to reach out to people when mental health patients are constantly being portrayed as scary in mainstream media. Loved the video 💞 Also happy early birthday, Caitlin's mother!

[@casmeraki]

The way you explained your situation was very easy to understand and also I have felt this a few times. But usually if I am over tired or falling asleep or of I've had too much alcohol that I am aware and engaging in "life" but it doesn't feel real and everything sounds a little distorted like I'm underwater. The only other way I can describe (my version of what you explained) is that my timing is off? Something like real time and the time in my mind are different, only seconds apart but makes a huge difference. And that if someone says something to me I will hear it, understand it and even reply.... But I won't realise its all happened and is happening.... Neither do I know if what I said even matches as an answer to the other person... I dunno.... The more I talk and think about it the more I feel. Like this doesn't match what you said 😂😂 sorry for wasting your time. You helped me understand anyway

[@lazyhomebody1356]

When I gave psychic dreams and then live them later I feel that way. It's a horrible feeling. Very trapped, hopeless, Twilight Zone- esque. I hope you continue to look for answers and a cure or improvement

[@doriangray2001]

I have been experiencing these episodes since I was a kid. They only last for a few minutes and I haven't had one for quite a while now and I have never been able to articulate them. They are incredibly strange. I hear my voice and it seems foreign, I wonder how can I feel myself rather than someone else or anything at all, I get out of myself and the body seems other than me, everything becomes ghostly and distant and nobody makes sense to me anymore. Another small thing that happens to me similar to this feeling is déjà vu. I see images of a distant future as if I was there and experience them for a few seconds and then years later when those things happen I remember about the deja vu. I do not believe in supernatural things not being God, so I literally do not believe my own déjà vu and their accuracy, but they feel accurate nonetheless. And I've always wondered what those moments you explained were, but weren't able to explain them. It was lovely to read about your experience, thanks for sharing.

[@jeudieleslavavelasquez8410]

Curiously enough, one of the most reminded vocalists from the Norwegian band Mayhem, Dead is suspected to be affected by such disorder, since he was dead for a while when he was a teen. Rest in peace Pelle, your work is truly eternal.

[@andiecastle]

I always wait until the very end to see "Bentham's Head". I wouldn't mind having that as my ring tone.

[@nmartin5551]

Jules Alquézar I spent $ to buy an app to make my own ringtone by recording it from the web. It is my ringtone. I think it is truly hilarious!

[@mijiah]

I’ve made a ringtone using garage band before! If I can do it again, I’ll upload it to dropbox and link it if you’d like!

[@TheGuardDuck]

@@nmartin5551 you wasted money on that?

[@nmartin5551]

TheGuardDuck -yes. my technology abilities are pathetic.

[@filthrot-projectaptrganga7503]

Vocalist of Mayehm believed this and ended up killing himself, sadly. He had a near death experience at an early age and since then became obsessed with death and believed that he was really a corpse and that life and reality was just a dream and when it ends, its what other people call being dead, and that would later become his stage name, Dead.

[@daniellecalvaresi8769]

I was searching for this comment. Was he ever diagnosed? I bet ppl just attributed it to his metal lifestyle/persona and didn't actually think it was a disorder.

[@bojanaszanati500]

I never really heard this syndrome associated with him, but just by listening to the video he immediately popped into my mind. Especially because, just like others who suffered from this, it started for him with a near death experience aswell. It's a sad thing to realize....

[@bonniemiller274]

I did not know this! Thank you for sharing!

[@aedragorix]

I knew I wasnt the only one who was instantly reminded of Pelle by this video

[@haylnoodle3225]

My aunt went through this. She was a heavy drug user in her younger years and had quite a few diagnoses, MS, depression etc. For about 2/3 years she really truly believed she was dead. She could tell us when she died, how she died and insisted she was murdered. She even wanted to take us out into the woods to “show us” where she was “buried”. She talked in the 3rd person that whole time, I guess she didn’t know how to refer to herself anymore since she though she wasn’t. She got medicated, wanted to try shock therapy but never did to my knowledge. After a while she stared talking about herself saying “I” and “me” - no longer in the 3rd person and slowly just started acting “normal” again like nothing has happened. She doesn’t talk about it. It was a very odd time but I’m glad she’s feeling like herself again and can live normally now!

[@NancyReiderLittleGranny]

I experienced this feeling once when I was deeply depressed and near catatonic. It was disturbing. The fear was so real along with the intense confusion because the sane part of my brain was screaming BRO...WTF.. It only lasted for a moment and I snapped back to life. An extremely strange feeling. I left a negative review on yelp and do not recommend it.

[@vaf5864]

Hey how youre doing?

[@HimynameisAverie]

"fall is coming, and you'll need death things" well, you really aren't wrong but I hadn't thought of it that way before 😆

[@thomaswwhitten]

"... But I'm also a rotting corpse. Sucks to be you, sir." That wins line of the day for me. And I always know it's gonna be a good day when Bentham's Head makes an appearance! So thanks for that and for another interesting and informative video, Death Mother!

[@CashelOConnolly]

Caitlin you won’t see this but I subscribed to your groundbreaking channel when you had less than a 100 followers. Now you’ve got nearly one million one hundred and twenty thousand followers. All earned,you’ve worked hard to educate,entertain,make us cry and laugh. I hope you know how remarkable you are. Love from an O.G follower

[@theembersinside1420]

I literally got chills at the part with the P.E.T. scan & how he knew his brain wasn't right! I can't imagine feeling like that. 😬

[@patriciasheck6378]

"Fall is coming and youll need death things" -me, every mid-July

[@MichelleC50]

"I don't even know what's wrong with me, but that would fix it." -Caitlin Bahahaha!!!

[@drunkensquirrel7545]

IKR! ME: "... but doc, I really do need it for medicinal purposes! “ DOC : "Ah. *REALLY*... You're just playin'g 'possum. Skedaddle on down to the Psych Ward for 72hrs. " 😳🧐😳

[@pestilenssi8979]

Fell down a rabbithole about Dead and his suicide. It all made me sad. Dude was clearly mega troubled but no one got him proper help. He was so young too, only 2 years older than I am now

[@ineedsleep4071]

This is literally "Omae wa mou shindeiru " in a whole new level

[@lzal3583]

Nurse here-25 years. Never heard of Cotard’s! Then again, I’m on the other end of the spectrum- working with newborns. I learn something new every day.

[@animeHEAT]

Never too late to learn something new!

[@slcRN1971]

L Zal : until now, I also didn’t know about this syndrome and I worked as a maternal-child hospital nurse too until retirement.

[@Lady8D]

I wanted to be a neo-natal nurse for most of my life! I'd even started studying a *_gigantic_* maternal/neonate nursing book throughout highschool, etc and had volunteered at the local Children's hospital for several years...the nurses there would show me how to do things and let me help. I *_LOVED_* it!!!! Alas, a work injury at 18 put a stop to all my plans, unfortunately. Now I'm 38 & bedridden most days (bc opioid crisis has made it impossible for me to get adequate pain relief). Idk why I'm over sharing all this with you exactly, just saw that you do what I'd hoped to do and felt the need to share I guess =) To be clear, this isn't a pity party. I'm surviving & get by. Just fun to sometimes think of life before all this happened & imagine what could have/would have been =)

[@brittanyransom1306]

Same! Pediatric nurse caring for preemies. 🙂

[@classicambo9781]

Just had a patient with functional neurological disorder and apparently it is super common in neurology. Thinking of several 'faked' seizures over the years that paramedics treated with disdain (somewhat adopted the attitude but didn't change my practice) and it makes me cringe to think how the dismissive attitude would have worsened their condition. I always figured if you're that mentally unwell that you would soil yourself in faking a seizure then you needed a hospital anyway 🤷

[@yugyeomslita2168]

I’ve had this in a psychotic episode before, not specifically cotards but as a part of my psychosis in my BPD. I genuinely thought I was dead for months.

[@karenbuchinsky506]

Hope you're okay. That's gotta suck.

[@emilygriffith6702]

I’m sorry :( that would be awful

[@Ssyphoned]

Something very similar, but I believe mine was drug induced. Did not eat for almost a week and avoided sleep at all costs (thinking my dreams were more real than reality). Body was numb and my physical sensations were almost completely gone. Not eating or sleeping exacerbates this A LOT. Eventually family ‘forced’ me to eat and the overwhelming physical sensation snapped me out of it. It has happened 2-3 more times since then, but no where near as bad. It is definitely rooted in some deep delusional thinking, mostly around the concepts of coincidence, fate, free will and perceptive uncertainty. Do not recommend. Participating in healthy ritualistic fasting may actually help combat this type of thinking, imo.

[@kha8892]

I’ve experienced psychosis too and while listening to the descriptions of the condition and people’s experiences with it I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that it can’t be far off from a psychotic episode. So many of the things that I thought and experienced reflect those of the people mentioned

[@wendychavez5348]

I have never experienced this, though I appreciate hearing from people who have because it's a clear possibility for me. I am a survivor of traumatic brain injury, and when emerging from my coma I remember dreaming that "they" wouldn't let me wake up. In the real world at that time, people were freely discussing my condition in my presence so my dreams were a reflection of what was actually happening, but what I remember was certainly a dream. I also have BPD, and a family history of dementia, all exacerbated by the TBI, and the expectation was that I'd be far advanced in most of these conditions by age 35. I'm 48 now and still highly functional--counting my blessings! Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

[@goldenegg8of100]

I always thought walking corpse syndrome was when someone received a lethal dose of radiation but is able to function normally for hours or days before suddenly dying

[@naomiuchiha0906]

Isn't it strange how the brain knows what being dead feels like?

[@SeamusMudge]

"...So everyone say Happy Birthday TO MY MOM." (said in the precise key of "Mama Bear".) Perfect.

[@deerfish3000]

Some people who've attempted suicide and survived, (usually from an overdose attempt) wonder if they actually died and are now living in a parallel universe. For example, in the original universe, the person's family have found their lifeless body and have already mourned and buried them and are considered dead but in the parallel universe, they wake up from the suicide attempt and get a second chance. Strange.

[@beanyolk]

i feel this hard.. every time i've essentially cheated death i felt less and less connected with reality the more i realized how little the chance of my survival really was. i mean that could just be brain damage and dissociation though who knows lol

[@elizabetha3936]

I wonder if overdose victims have an out of body experience before their second chance.

[@dressageandalusian]

@@elizabetha3936 I overdosed and was in a coma in the ICU, for me it was like going to sleep and then waking up not knowing if it had been 1 day or 1 year, just black nothingness.

[@heliosfromacrossastar878]

Hi, I am a mental health professional and it’s not uncommon for people with near death experiences to feel like they actually died. Basically the brain has stored the wrong memory in your brain. Not weird at all, I have seen it plenty times. I think EMDR might be a contender to treat this.

[@Jayleenyc]

Have you ever seen the movie "wristcutters:a love story" good movie.

[@lilgothpotato4867]

i learned about it when i started getting into black metal and fell down the rabbit hole of researching pelle ohlin or “dead” from the band mayhem

[@lalalanidani]

I’ve had moments throughout my manic depression where I’ve dissociated and thought I was dead until I came around and the psychosis went away.

[@samimay05]

This reminds me of the time I had a big ass panic attack because of something similar. I don't know why but a voice in my head just kept saying "1922" and I was like certain that I died in 1922, I kept having fuzzy memories of a brutal death, something to do with a train. Thank God it didn't last very long, last year I had some real crazy shit, I even thought I was like 12 different people at some point. Thank God for medicine and mental health professionals, delusions are terrifying, I hate how people use it in an insulting way EDIT: I don't mean that Caitlin was using it in a disrespectful way, I think she handled this perfectly and it's a very interesting and informative video💕 Just mean that as in people who get into arguments with others and say stuff like "you're delusional" simply for just disagreeing

[@hoodpriestessphilosophy7669]

Honestly, I see your point and it's awesome if you've found your truth, but your experience isn't unusual. A lot of psychics hear voices and experience knowing. To me, it seems rather than psychosis you may have been tapping into some of your past lives. I recall at least 12 of my own in vivid detail. Consider that you may not be mentally ill when something you don't understand happens to you. ♥

[@smokyquartz5817]

Shes talking about having very real mental illness. Not pretending to be psychic. Show some respect.

[@samimay05]

@@smokyquartz5817 I'm not psychic, I'm mentally ill and have been having delusions since I was a kid, that's what I was referring to. I'm not always the best at writing so I'm sorry if it came off as that

[@samimay05]

Responding to myself here for anyone who's reading; I don't mean that Caitlin was using it in a disrespectful way, I think she handled this perfectly and it's a very interesting and informative video💕 Just mean that as in people who get into arguments with others and say stuff like "you're delusional" simply for just disagreeing

[@samimay05]

Now that I think about it I'll just edit that into the original comment, lmao

[@krystalreverb]

My great-uncle just passed away today. I got to spend some time with his body and it brought me so much peace. He lost his battle with cancer. Grandma said goodnight to him last night, and by this morning he had died. I got to tell Grandma how to close his eyes and mouth. She didn't do it, but she knows how now! At the funeral we're all gonna smoke Uncle's cigars and listen to his favorite music. RIP Uncle Anthony, your great-niece loves you to the stars and back

[@ashleyconnor8891]

Candice Macdonald so sorry for your loss

[@guardiansanimalrescuestate7289]

Heck light up some Mary Jane and relax.

[@ddavis4730]

I'm so sorry for your loss, your uncle must of been an awesome guy

[@krystalreverb]

D Davis uncle Ange always had a smile on his face. He never wanted anybody to be sad. He cracked jokes and made funny noises to make people laugh. He’s probably cracking jokes about God’s beard in Heaven.

[@thomaswwhitten]

Sorry for your loss, but so glad you are being proactive and taking steps to honor him in a positive way. That's what attracted me to Caitlin and her books and channel, her message of overcoming our fear of death by embracing it and using someone's passing to honor and remember them rather than wallowing in grief and denial over the fact. Wishing you and your family well. ❤️🙏

[@Snakefinger1000]

I have had this experience a couple of times when I was younger. It's a horrible feeling, I walked around in absolute terror and when I informed people who were with me, they told me to go back to sleep and everything would be fine in the morning.. They were correct I went back to bed had a good sleep and woke up feeling fine.

[@lizbecker1677]

I suffered from clinical depression in the 1980's, and I specifically remember having thoughts that I might be dead. They came and went, but always freaked me out because they were terrifying. I was completely aware of how illogical they were. At the time, I felt I could never disclose these feelings to anyone (including my therapist) because I was afraid everyone would think I was crazy. Through medication and therapy, I was eventually able to function and feel normal again. Whenever I think back to that time, I'm just so grateful to be here and to be living a relatively "normal" life now. Never judge anyone experiencing depression and mental illness unless you've experienced it yourself.

[@MadHatterDJ-]

It sounds almost like they are living a lucid dream. Really interesting.

[@unnamedchannel1237]

Lucid dreams are the best

[@mea2429]

i wonder how they end up treating the people they interact with... because if they’re dead does it matter how they treat people? are those people even real?

[@unnamedchannel1237]

@@mea2429 cyanide

[@MadHatterDJ-]

maria.elena Yeah so many questions. I can't imagine there would be any holding back. Diving off a tall building wouldn't matter if you believed were all ready dead so how your treat people would be a real show of character.

[@alexhasaname]

Perfect timing. I just died (literally) 2 weeks ago from an asthma attack. I fully believed in the hospital that I was still dead. I'm good now but it was hard to accept that I wasn't essentially since all my limbs were numb.

[@classicambo9781]

Glad you're back with us Alex - that is a heavy existential crisis to deal with. I hope you have psychological help as you process that. 🤗

[@dorisfromage2349]

Fascinating. I'm glad it was only temporary, but do you have any idea why your limbs were numb? Is that a known effect of a serious asthma attack?

[@balargus319]

Did no one ask you how you retained consciousness after death? No one challenge you on your ability to think?

[@alexhasaname]

@@dorisfromage2349 I was transferred by ambulance to another hospital and put on ECMO. They had to put me on paralyzers to prevent my body from moving during the process. I was on the paralyzers for several days and I'm still feeling numb at this time. Also my brain lost oxygen for 4 minutes so vocalizing that I thought I was dead was not working out lol

[@alexhasaname]

@@balargus319 I lost oxygen to my brain for 4 minutes so my ability to speak/see/think rationally was out the window. I was fully unconscious from Friday to Monday so by the time I woke up they were focused on basic brain function.

[@amoureux6502]

I used to experience something like this in middle school and it seems like it was usually triggered by looking in a window and seeing the translucent reflection of myself - I knew everything in a window reflection was translucent but for some reason I was absolutely convinced that I was dead and everything around me was imagined.

[@nunyabizness9787]

The singer "Dead" (Per Yngve Ohlin) from the band Mayhem had this syndrome and was so obsessed with being dead he eventually killed himself. He used to bury his clothes so they'd rot, and wanted his friends to bury him. He also kept dead animals under his bed because he liked the smell. He thought his blood was frozen in his veins, and would cut himself a lot, and would often not eat.

[@2snowgirl520]

“You May think I am hot, but Iam also a rotting corpse.” 😂😂😂😂😂