ASMR Let’s Talk Serious Stuff (yes, again) (Close-up Whisper Ramble)

Please listen through to the end as I do indeed end this video with a positive, warm outlook! Do not worry! :)
I want to give a thank you to the lovely channel members: Jake R, theokchannel, Kris, Rory, Bryan, Malkus, HolyCannoli, MrBear, and NebraskaBecause. I see you wonderful people and appreciate you!
Here is the link to join. Members will have early access to uploads, channel emojis/badges, and shoutouts. 🧡😊
/ @calciferasmr
Here is my channel’s Instagram!
calciferspa...
I appreciate any other recommendations or feedback; suggestions are always welcome!
Hopefully you’ll stick around! 🫶🏻
For any inquiries or custom videos (sfw), please contact: [e-mail]

[@calciferASMR]

Rest assured my friends, there is a positive ending to this “serious” conversation. I love and appreciate you all so much. ALSO, a lovely shout out to my channel members and frequent commenters at 43:10 🧡

[@PaigeTurnerASMR]

I get what you are saying! I’m an old lady so I didn’t get attention 😂. It took me 9 months to get 1000 subscribers. Some of my videos are good, some of them suck, but I started this channel for my own therapy. Yes, I look at my numbers and I’m extremely happy when even one person watches, but I will not let it rule me. What keeps me “satisfied” is knowing that I made myself happy, and if I can share that with ANYONE that is a BONUS!!! I remember your day ONE! And I will be there for your day 10,001!!! Love you and keep doing what you do!!!!❤❤❤

[@calciferASMR]

This is the mindset that I need to ensure I’m easing into!! I love it. Having that sense of satisfaction in what you do gives you the peace and power to keep doing *you*. Thank you as always, Paige, I love and appreciate you so much! 🧡

[@ashleylynn7069]

Paige, your videos make me smile soooo much. And seeing your comment on my newest fav channel makes me even happier! You and Haley are soooo real and that makes you two the best! It feels like I’m watching old friends and am seen. Thank you both for being here! 🤍

[@PaigeTurnerASMR]

@@ashleylynn7069 ❤️❤️❤️

[@its.nobqdy]

ahh!! hi paige!! I was just watching some of your videos last night

[@PaigeTurnerASMR]

@@its.nobqdy thank you!!!! ❤️

[@andrewnewell6414]

I think what drew me to this channel was seeing someone articulate and perfectly describe some of the feelings I've really struggled with, and that has been really helpful in what has been a difficult period of my life. I think the fact that you consider the impact this is having on you, and you show concern is a positive sign that you are responsible enough to handle this, and to overcome any bad habits you may have formed. I think that a lot of the things that can become dopamine addictions have an element of good and beauty in them. As you mentioned, the attention and positive comments can be addicting, but the longer lasting beauty is the ability to connect with your audience whether that is through providing relaxation, or by being true to yourself and helping us all feel normal for having the thoughts we have. Thanks so much for your videos, and I wish you luck on your journey of growth!

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, I’m so glad to hear that you’ve enjoyed my channel so far, and these sorts of comments are the ones that absolutely keep me level headed when it comes to the world of the internet. Sometimes, it can certainly be good for me to *not* think too far into some things, and to just allow myself to be and enjoy the process. Thank you again. 🧡🧡

[@FlyingPurplePizzas]

It sounds like you are learning a lot about yourself as you continue this internet journey. If you hadn't started this ASMR experience you wouldn't have had all these wisdom generating moments. Wanting more has brought you much to appreciate. Your wisdom is teaching us too, allowing us to see ourselves reflected in your observations about your life. It seems to be a dance between feeling satisfied with what we have and wanting to stretch for more. I enjoy your musings. You are articulate, easy to understand. Your candor is inspiring. I'm thankful for you reading and responding to the comments. At some point the numbers may be too overwhelming to continue doing so, but that is the price of fame I suppose. Thank you for sharing your life with us, and for the mention.

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much for your kindness, as always. But noooo! Even if the numbers get bigger I. Will. Respond! 😂 Even if it takes a while haha. I appreciate you guys.

[@roryluuvsuuu]

oh em geee this video came at the PERFECT time ! i recently started my own channel, and didnt expect anything from it at all, then i got my first comment, a singular comment, and now im so invested 😭 now i feel like i should push out content like a machine instead of why i did it in the first place, to cross things off of my bucket list / to fulfil MYSELF ! you don't sound pretentious at all, its a comfortable self-awareness you have that i can relate to, i too am painfully self-aware. heavy on the painfully LOL ok and i dont want this to be too long but i truly appreciate the recognition in both the bio and the video, i literally love you so bad (NOT PARASOCIAL PLEASE I SWEAR I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE PARASOCIAL) but i feel like i truly relate to u

[@calciferASMR]

Omg absolutely not parasocial at allllll ahahaha, I love seeing you stop in!! I’m so glad you can empathize with me here. Thank you as always! 🧡🧡

[@T0FFII]

I think all you can really do is what you've been doing, helping a lot of people feel at peace & relaxed n helping them sleep, the more lucky people that reaches the better but it's not something you gotta force. It sucks a lot to have that small percent of people who are mean an insensitive but I hope the rest of us counter that 10 fold. 🧡🧡 You do some wonderful stuff in every video that you upload 🧡

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, truly, I absolutely agree. Always glad to see you stop in. 🧡🧡

[@T0FFII]

​@@calciferASMR There's no place I'd rather be! 🧡

[@jaker.9275]

Hands down you are my favorite creator on this platform, you are so open about your insecurities and I know how hard that can be but just know with us you are never judged 🧡 also thank you for the shout out! I’ve been watching you for a while but just recently had the courage I guess you’d say to express my gratitude and support to you 🙌

[@calciferASMR]

I absolutely appreciate you being here, very much! Thank you always for your kindness. 🧡🧡

[@anamartins-ny5te]

your videos are genuinely so good because they're so relatable and real! its really cool listening to things that I'm also dealing with in another perspective we're around the same age, doing very similar things and thats so cool! never doubt yourself or the quality of your content 🫶🏻

[@calciferASMR]

Awee thank you so much, I’m always so glad to see another one of your comments on my page girl. I appreciate you! 🧡

[@Blunter1234]

Real with real. You're wonderful ty for the video. I've struggled with the same issue with that void, and I can't say I've conquered it, but going without, showing appreciation and seeking knowledge are some of the best ways to quell the storms.

[@calciferASMR]

I couldn’t agree more, thank you for this kind comment. 🧡

[@Emmanuel.Hardy22]

you are my most favorite asmrist. you remind me a lot of my best friend that just moved away and it provides a relaxing comforting feeling that she used to give me.

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, this is such a kind thing to say. Glad you’ve stopped in. 🧡

[@halimoore3478]

fellow hali here ❤ i came across your channel from your cake making video and honestly fell in love. your whole vibe. the warmth. THE WHISPER 😮‍💨 you’re doing so good. keep going in the right direction. you’ll have a milly before you know it. 🥰

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much Hali, I so appreciate your kindness. 🧡🧡🥺

[@rakel.m6]

This is the only podcast I subscribe to!! I totally relate to the feeling of always wanting more. It's sad looking back on times where I was so preoccupied by the things I didn't have, and now in hindsight I realize that I haven't been that happy or objectively fortunate since (and I didn't even enjoy it then). Love your videos and this lovely community you have created, it feels really different from other channels I've watched. You are so good at sharing your thoughts which makes everyone here feel comfortable as well

[@calciferASMR]

This makes me so happy to hear, I’m so glad you feel like we have shared experiences and feelings here. That’s exactly what I’m going for! I always appreciate seeing your comments. 🧡🧡

[@bri4ever1x]

thank you for making videos like this it’s really relatable 🤞🏾

[@calciferASMR]

I’m so glad you enjoy them!🧡

[@ACDC.ScottYoung]

You are loved so much because you always keep everything real ... A lot of us carry a dark passenger in our lives 😑... You are that bright light✨️ that makes us happy 😊💕 just by listening to your voice . Thanks 🙏

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much for this, you are too kind. 🧡

[@PedroHenrique-zo1qv]

i have a lot of thoughts on this video but i couldnt fit all of 'em in a youtube comment, so i'll limit myself to saying that you're not selfish/greedy for thinking these things. in recent years i've seen a concerning amount of people who think you have to be 100% self aware all of the time and that associate honesty with yourself to be 'cringe'. not taking yourself so seriously is good advice, but it also leads us into the trap of thinking of ourselves as dramatic or overreacting when we're just... feeling. social media was built to pressure us into wanting more, both as creators and consumers, and attention is a powerful way to get us hooked into the system of content creation/consumption. we're all susceptible to falling into that, so i dont think its right to call you selfish or greedy for that

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you for taking the time to say this. I know I definitely can’t help but sometimes over analyze the various things I think about, and I assume everything needs to be deeply understood or else I’m not doing enough. That’s not true, however, and it really is good to just feel and be, and let things come and go. Thank you again, really. 🧡

[@adachy]

I’ve definitely found myself refreshing social media compulsively every time i post, and i can’t exactly say i know what to do about it either. but at least you aren’t the only one also, i watch a lot of your videos, and even though i don’t usually comment, they always have a cozy vibe that feels like a normal conversation, and reminds me of someone like Goodnight Moon, who is also awesome

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, I’m so glad you decided to leave a comment even if watching from afar is your usual place of comfort. I really appreciate that.🧡

[@official_misty_peterson6605]

I just found your channel this week and subscribe. You know why? Your perfect, clicky whispers. IMO all you have to is talk and I’ll be happy, and will quickly fall asleep 😊. You are doing great!!

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much! I’m so glad to hear this.

[@Zack-fk4iw]

The fact that you are able and willing to do a little introspection speeks well of your character, i think. And for what it's worth, I think any reasonable person can see your handling of this channel is, above all, wholesome. On the other hand, you are allowed to reap the rewards of your efforts. You can maintain the integrity of your channel and find success at the same time :). Easier said than done, i know. You've got a good thing here

[@calciferASMR]

I really appreciate this, especially how you articulate the possibility of balance without feeling guilt for growth or success. Thank you for always stopping in to watch and comment. 🧡

[@mirroronthewall6995]

I am so happy that your video ran through my feed and something told me yes that’s a new channel to subscribe for me!! I am loving your content so much and it’s just so calming and safe?? Like idk it’s like a nice safe space in your videos so thank you! 😊

[@calciferASMR]

Oh I am so happy to hear this, I appreciate you being here! 🧡

[@LucyLoveCraftASMR]

Its funny how often we are shown exactly what we need. I was thinking alot about the stress the algorithm can place on creators and the "need" to keep achieving higher numbers. All of it feels so counterintuitive to the creative process and it really saddens me. Its so good to hear this talked about by an asmrtist, I feel seen! 🖤

[@calciferASMR]

Yes!! I’m so glad you feel what I mean here. It can be such a push and pull. Thank you❤️

[@miau_the_cat]

I clicked on this video because I needed something to accompany me doing my art class homework. I haven't watched many of your videos, you just end up on my recommended page from time to time. I really enjoyed this (serious) talk because it showed me a side of the internet that I didn't really know about. Well, I did, but it's often easily forgettable. So it was more of a reminder. This entire video seems very reasonable and honest to me, maybe because it heavily reminds me of a phase I had myself when I was a few years younger. Hearing that from someone I barely know is an interesting, but somehow easing experience. I am faithful that you'll be able to find your way and remember that none of us are perfect. None of us have extreme levels of self-awareness or complete control over our lives, our interactions and our internet appearances, let alone people's reactions and opinions towards us. Please keep your channel the way you like it best and works out the best for you. At the pace you can work best with. Even though some people might have certain expectations, it is always the best to focus on yourself first and to think of your own well-being when it comes to internet stuff. (By the way, I really like the wind sounds)

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much for your kindness, I absolutely appreciate how you’ve articulated your thoughts here, and they are very reassuring. I’m glad you were able to stop in. 🧡

[@brianrodriguez6783]

Cherish this mindset, self awareness with all the distractions these days is hard to find and even harder to keep. You've got yourself another channel member. 😊 Very good listen from beginning to end 👍

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your kindness. And thank you for joining in as a channel member, excited to see you here! 🧡

[@paulalexander1264]

You're doing a good job Haley - hope you keep at it and continue to grow and get enjoyment from creating ASMR 👍

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you! 🧡

[@audi80fan34]

Your calm and gentle manner relaxes me so much! Such a nice video, as always! 🤩🤩💙💙💙💙Love greetings Oliver

[@calciferASMR]

🧡🧡🧡😴

[@casluvscatsasmr98]

You are so likeable and very humbling. Not a lot of asrmtists talk about it, but it probably crosses a lot of there minds OFTEN. As a small creator, I have gotten a lot of weird requests in my DM’s and I feel this discomfort and pressure to do something I don’t want to do. That is NOT what asmr is about and I’m glad we feel the same. It should be a safe place to create. This is what the internet needs - realness. That will attract the best viewers. Thank you for your content and keep doing what you are doing!

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing how you feel the same as a fellow asmrtist, those requests can be so heavy sometimes. I so appreciate you. ❤️

[@Farron0909]

I declare today a good one, calcifer uploaded!!!

[@calciferASMR]

Oh my goodness I totally should have included you in my little ‘frequent commenters’ tangent!! I always see and appreciate you! 😁🧡

[@theokchannel2081]

I appreciate you being so open with us❤❤ I've always been wary of devoting myself to my creative pursuits on the Internet. I've always wanted to create, but when you put that into the world suddenly it's not yours anymore. People get to take it and interpret, extract and define what they want from it. which is fantastic and amazing, recycling ideas it's the reason for so many cool things in this place but I don't know if I trust myself to catch my ego in the search for validation

[@calciferASMR]

Such a valid thought, and definitely very responsible on your part for trying to make sure you always have the right intention and mentality behind something before starting. I admire that patience and mindfulness, thank you. 🧡

[@liza331]

"You know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can just get old" ❤ You seem very authentic!

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much. 🧡🧡

[@stefanuzelac7959]

I am glad that you are talking about this kind of topics.There Is many of us that feel the same.Great video.Keep it up :-)

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much, it makes me so glad to hear that you relate to some of these things! 🥺

[@walterschmitz2485]

Hi, sehr angenehme und entspannende Flüsterstimme und eine sehr sympathisch natürliche Ausstrahlung. Vielen Dank für ihre Darbietungen ❤❤

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much. ❤️

[@Joe-xp9mb]

I appreciate the vids you give us doing great content 👏👏👏

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you for stopping in to watch. 🧡🧡

[@Anushka-sy3kb]

I think ur amazing, I think your channel will grow in a big way and even if it takes you a long while I for one absolutely enjoy u and ur content and I'm sure there's way more that me. I think focus on the good bbe and gratitude ❤ keep going keep pushing! Ur better than you think! Life will always bring some difficulties especially because people can be cruel and jealous, don't allow them to stop you! ❤

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much for these kind words, I absolutely appreciate seeing you stop in to comment each video. Always grateful for lovely individuals like you. 🧡🧡

[@Dibellaslove]

Buckling in for a good nap. 😊

[@calciferASMR]

🧡😴

[@arne6836]

Everytime you said 'satisfied' I started singing Satisfied from Hamilton in my head. It was pretty distracting but otherwise amazing video haha. Love how you vocalize and overanalyze things. I do the same and listening to you do it really calms me.

[@calciferASMR]

Oh my goodness lol that’s so funny, but I’m glad you enjoyed! 🧡🧡

[@atmentod]

Been on youtube awhile as both a creator and a subscriber. It definitely has its ups and downs. It's really up to the content creator to get a good rhythm going that can sustain their positive health and relationship with this platform for the long term.

[@jakfan09]

A lot of what you’re saying reminds me of what my favorite screenwriter Charlie Kaufman says about his writing process. The insecurities that come with trying to make something genuine while also having the very human urge to want more success.

[@calciferASMR]

Very push and pull, but I’ll get there. 🥹🧡

[@The-Stepping-Stones]

Here we go! First comment from me! Hi, Haley. You gave me the cue to unveil myself. I've been subscribed for weeks and watched a dozen of your videos, but I'm not one for attracting attention to myself (at least with how I'm feeling right now; going through motions and that shit), though I feel like, here, it'll be totally okay and even healthy for me to do so. It's really refreshing to hear somebody be so real and be so authentic, you know. I respect this choice to conduct yourself this way so much! I feel extremely disconnected from the people of my own age because most of them are not like this, or like me. With that being said, I'm sure you'll see me around again. I think you're cool and you would be someone I'd probably be able to connect to, (in the physical world) for once. Haha. Take care. ☮️

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you so much for commenting and making yourself known! Even if you do feel most comfortable just hanging around in the background, I’ll be glad to have you watching regardless. 🧡🧡

[@sidsifo930]

Amazing video❤ I love your energy, I love your passion how do you want to improve your channel🥰 I wish you all the best because you're wonderful person❤❤❤

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate you. 🧡🧡

[@dexyboyddt]

I see so many great ASMR creators who don't have that many followers but some who aren't great have thousands. Just keep doing what you're doing as I think what you're doing it great on here. Try not to chase the likes and attention and maybe just try and ignore the comments. It shouldn't make you feel like this just for posting a video online. We live in a weird world in this day & age. ❤️

[@calciferASMR]

I really appreciate your comment, thank you. It is a great thing for me to be able to just enjoy the process as I go, so I will do my best to just keep progressing and enjoying these interactions! 🧡

[@nagaraj-ib4sx]

Thanks

[@GeminiGlitters]

Off topic but your makeup looks soo dam pretty 😍😍.

[@calciferASMR]

Thank you soo much!! 🥹🧡

[@michelleswhispersasmr]

first of all I wanna say those feelings are totally valid. Personally I don't think it's a problem at all to want your channel to grow. You create ASMR content and you deserve recognition for it. Trust me I started my channel years ago and often regretted not putting in more effort to grow in the beginning and still sometimes get discouraged and I am only now seeing a lot of growth however more so on TikTok. I think it's more about recognizing our beliefsystems. For a long time I was in a victim mindset of "ohh my channel doesn't grow" or whatever. Now I see this as an opportunity to expand my mindset because as within so without. And once I changed my beliefs around my content getting recognition I started to grow more on TikTok. Every single feeling is valid! It's what we do with it that matters ☺🤞🏻

[@calciferASMR]

This is such a kind comment, I appreciate you so much. I absolutely find myself getting discouraged at times, but growth or not, I need to evaluate if I’m actually happy putting out what I do. For me and you both! Thank you so much. 🧡🧡🧡

[@michelleswhispersasmr]

@@calciferASMR yeah I honestly 100% understand feeling discouraged. But you just started 2 months ago and you’ve already had really amazing growth and really good views too. So don’t worry more growth will come and you put out content people genuinely love and also I personally really do not think it’s a bad thing to want something like growth. We all have desires and it’s natural for us as humans to have those desires and to create the things we want! 🥰🤞🏻❤️

[@LowriderMikeTreBirdsong]

This is My Sixth Time leaving a comment on one of your videos Haley And Overall, This is My One Hundredth Thirty-Third ASMR Video I'm leaving a comment on! But, I saw this video from Start to Finish Haley. But, It's a lot to Process But, With The Quality of Your Videos, It looks Great!, It really needs no changes at all. I'm happy that you are Making Videos that makes you happy and moving forward with your ASMR Journey along the way girl! And, OOO HALEY!!!😱😱😱 Good And Great Job on you making it to 5K Haley!, I'm Proud of you girl, Mission Complete! But, Great Video Haley, I did like and love The Two Funny Moments in This Video when at 29:06-29:12 with your Voice And Delivery when you said "Girl Get Your Money!" When You Said it like that and After You Said The Girl Part You did Your Signature Hair Flip And Said, "I'm just Saying!" And Start Laughing! But At, 35:12-35:19 you saying that your Like Hip-Hop Artist Kanye West when you are saying stuff Haley, That was funny! LMFAO!😆😆😆 But, Great Video, You Got A Nice Smile, And, This Comment is Finished!🙂😎🖤🖤

[@calciferASMR]

Hahaha I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for stopping in! 🧡

[@overniteowl]

It is definitely a take the bad with the good space when there are trollers and such. Hopefully you are having a positive experience. I know you were talking about that, and the comments you get seem pretty upbeat and supportive. I am sure your channel will continue to grow. The flip side to that is if you like being able to feel like you are in touch with your audience, getting too big so to speak can hamper that cuz you will not have the time to keep up with everyone and it becomes much less personal. Its 3:30 am so I am not sure if this is making any sense. But I enjoyed the vid! Have a good day!

[@calciferASMR]

I absolutely agree. And definitely have to face the reality that larger growth may result in me trying to spread myself a little thin in order to interact with everyone. Regardless, I’ll always remember your guys names for being here at the start. So, big or not, I’ll always find the time to respond. ☺️🧡🧡

[@mario-iv8hn]

❤❤

[@calciferASMR]

🧡🧡

[@andylycett2835]

Next mark 5k 🎉

[@calciferASMR]

So grateful for the 4k, and very excited for the future with more to come. 🧡🧡🧡

[@cocoapuffswithmilk2840]

Thanks for being honest! Online attention can be volatile. Practice moderation and be willing to take breaks from youtube for your own mental well-being. God bless!

[@calciferASMR]

I absolutely agree, thank you so much. 🧡

[@marissah1791]

First 💁🏻‍♀️

[@grizzlyadams8523]

Haley your awesome ♥

[@calciferASMR]

Awee you are awesome! Thank you for stopping in. 🧡

[@grizzlyadams8523]

@@calciferASMR Honestly im here every week, love your work keep going your doing so good, i also love your rage haha amazin x

[@CS1.6_PLAYER_MOBILE]

Next video mukbang pliss

[@TheArtimusMaximus]

Very relaxing for a super crazy lady. (Just kidding)

[@calciferASMR]

BRUH, thank you hahaha

[@man_of_culture5937]

Getting alot of request for foot stuff eh? 😂

[@calciferASMR]

Normally far weirder than that. ☺️👍🏻

[@pasttense69]

HELLOOOOOO!!! I apologize for my hiatus, but I’ll get into that later. It’s a lot of word vomit, so feel free to just completely ignore it. I’ll edit this as I listen along. Right out of the gate, I want to say that it’s smart that you’re acknowledging that unhealthy attachment of seeking appraisal for the work you’re doing. That alone isn’t a bad thing, but a lot of CC’s will often run into this issue where if they don’t receive the gratification they’re seeking, then it means they’ve done a horrible job. Of course, we’re not "perfect," so we’ll slip up here and there. It’s good to recognize that early on. It gets draining to constantly seek out that praise, and eventually it completely tires you out. Okay I totally didn’t fall asleep while listening… anyways. It’s a shame you’ve been getting targeted by some strange individuals. For some reason, there are people who believe their job is to criticize others, bring them down, or make a fool of them. It’s very, very odd. I had a mini-live streaming career for a little bit, and the people you run into are very unusual. You have people who make every little thing you do sexual, and it’s very uncomfortable. Part of the reason I stopped is because of that viral mindset you’re speaking about. Oh wow, I achieved this goal, but what if I did this? Instead of celebrating, you’re constantly bringing yourself down during what should be a moment of celebration. You don’t need my reassurance at all, but I do want to say that you’re not being selfish in the slightest. People who might accuse you of being selfish most likely don’t understand what it’s like to be part of the content creation space. It’s fantastic that you’re speaking about this because it often doesn’t get spoken about. Using this space that you created to speak about topics like this is probably one of the better things to do than letting it simmer inside until it blows up into something worse. It is kinda silly to put serious in quotations. This is serious for you! Who cares if others might think it’s silly. It is your mind, your thoughts, and your feelings. I could go into my own life and all sorts of experiences, but this comment would be tooooooooooooo long. It is lovely to have this little corner of the internet where people can just feel comfortable. I have a listen to “I have more than enough” and what a lovely song. I had “House Song” by Searow on my playlist already. Your taste in music is IMMACULATE and I might make it my tradition to share a song with every comment I leave. It is totally okay to not like any of the songs I leave😅 Let Down by Radiohead This is where I’m going to vent a little bit about the reason behind my hiatus, so feel free to completely disregard this section. I’ve just needed a place to talk about this because of reasons that’ll make sense to explain. I have a lovely child (my cat), and his name is Augustus. I love him so much, and this guy sticks to me like glue. He was a stray, and it’s pretty common for them to get something called stomatitis. It essentially causes cats to get a sore mouth or have inflamed gums. Typically, they’ll end up needing all of their teeth removed, but even then, they’ll still end up having flare-ups. Around 2-3 weeks ago, he had oral surgery because part of his gums were inflamed. Post-operation, you’re meant to only feed them soft food for a while, and that’s what I did. My mistake, though, was feeding him hard food too soon after the operation. I thought a week would’ve been long enough, but alas, it wasn’t. He started to act like there was something wrong with his mouth again, and I immediately assumed I had reopened his wound from the surgery. So I tell my father that Augustus needs to see the veterinarian again. He’s the one that drives me around, as I don’t have my license yet, and he pays for the visits because I can’t work due to health reasons. My father originally tells me that he won’t take him and that it’s “my turn." ???? Keep in mind that he’s never home, and I’m the one who takes care of him 24/7. I’m the one who essentially does everything for Augustus. It was exhausting at first, but I’ve come to love this little guy so much that, understandably, I’m pretty protective of him. ANYWAYS, my father’s response annoyed me, but I just let it be. Fast forward to maybe this Thursday, where I remind him that Augustus needs to go see the vet because he’s in pain and not eating. My father says no and says to feed him soft food. ????? So I get upset because he cannot wait to see a vet, and it needs to be asap. He tells me to wait 2 weeks, which is crazy because he’ll starve to death if I wait that long. I told him exactly that, and his response was "ok." How heartless do you have to be to just be okay with that? I got upset and started to panic. Augustus is my child, and my dad is just okay with letting him starve to death. There’s a great irony in that, but that’s a story for another time. I proceeded to spend these last few days panicking and asking for help from some friends and family. I’ve luckily been able to gather some funds for a visit later today as I’m writing this. There’s so much more drama, but I’ve honestly rambled on long enough. It has just been a lot to deal with this past month. ANYWAYS I appreciate you and this safe space you provide. Much love from me ❤ You should hopefully be seeing more of me again

[@calciferASMR]

I’m so glad to see you again, but absolutely take your time in processing everything that’s happening for you. That really is such a stressful situation, our pets are our babies, so I’m hopeful yours pushes through even with health concerns. Wishing you lots of peace, my friend. 🧡

[@yousif.bmatti4380]

Marry me, I'm red like you.

[@calciferASMR]

It’s fake red!!! I’m a fraud hahaha

[@melindadelrio3262]

Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy. He’s taught me that simpleness and not chasing the fleeting pleasures of the world are true freedom. Society has made us believe we always need more. Or that we are never enough. Truth is we don’t and we are more than enough. We have royal blood flowing through us because we belong to the most high God. Live for Jesus and you’ll find rest for your soul and true satisfaction.

[@calciferASMR]

OH GIRL AMEEENNN! Thats exactly where I need to put more of my soul in everything I do. I feel I’ve been far too distant in my faith, and absolutely appreciate this reminder that it’s not the world that fills me up. 🧡🧡

[@melindadelrio3262]

@@calciferASMR Amen sister! God bless you! ❤️🙏🏼

[@cupidscupcakey]

I have also begun to receive a lot of attention very quickly on another platform. The validation feels good, which makes it so easy to become obsessed. I'm still trying to discover ways to ground myself, and not allow my mind to get lost in the traction. Thank you for always being open and vulnerable, I really felt seen with your words. 🩷

[@calciferASMR]

I’m so so glad you feel me on something like this. It can be so easy to get in over your head! We are doing our best, and that is good. Thank you for commenting! 🧡