Asperger Syndrome: Rejection is the Story of My Life...

Do not be fooled by appearances, rejection is the story of my life.
There's a reason Aspergers is called an 'invisible condition'.
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[@Miranda-cl2ul]

I am sitting here crying my eyes out as I listen to you speak. Not because I feel pity but because I am overwhelmed with empathy. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. I know the word 'brave' is so overused in our society but I truly mean it in its true definition here. I was with someone for 9 years, I will be 29 this month, and this syndrome tore us apart. We are still best friends and neither of us it dating but this video made so many things incredibly clear to me. I hope you all of the joy and happiness in the world.

[@noahmerz7377]

David New Hi! What do u mean with "false love"? I'm just curious

[@rockmeyer6988]

sometimes I just want to give up. I had some really bad depression today. You know that depression you get where you just stare into space for however long with your mind locked up. not feeling happy, sad, or angry. It's you just feel blank. just thinking about life. I wish I didn't have asperger's because I'm tired of being so lonely, and withdrawn. I literally have no energy to do anything. I'm tired of having a mini anxiety attack everytime I go somewhere. Doesn't matter if it's the store, the bank, the park, school, work. once I'm in the building, I'm either relaxed, or i get anxiety, I never know which one it will be until I get there so i try to stay indoors by myself as much as possible, but It's tearing me apart. and It's hard for me to make friends, because I have a very hard time holding conversations with people, It's like I literally can't think of anything to say. After someone says something to me, or responds to me, i will literally think, "What am i Supposed to say here?" I wont be able to think of anything so sometimes, I'll just end up not saying anything, now they think I'm ignoring them. Imagine that everytime you talked to someone you could never hold a full conversation, because you don't have the social skills necessary to do so. You wouldn't want to be around anyone either. It is a curse. Sometimes I feel like this has something to do with my mother. When she was pregnant with my brother, and I she was taking klonopin as prescribed by her doctor who said that it was safe to take while pregnant.. Both my brother and I ended up with mental illness. I got aspergers, and my brother is a schizophrenic. my mother wasn't taking any drugs when she was pregnant with my 3rd and 4th brother, and they were the only 2 out of the 4 of us who didn't develop any mental illnesses or syndromes. Something tells me those klonopins that my mother was taking when she was pregnant has something to do with aspergers I have today, and man does that make me pissed. Not at my mom, but at the doctor who told her taking those klonopins was safe! Now I got to live with his mistake.

[@gabrielamarcus]

Im 35, but Im not oficially diagnosed... But I relate completely. Doesn't help that my NT brother thinks I am... A worthless person. He always is ponting out how people that gets to know me well tend to shun me... And that I'll ende up all alone.

[@xTwilightWolvesx]

Ryan Hunter There has only been one instance when I saw my Asperger’s as a gift - when my ex partner told me about something nobody in his family knew about, and people generally only tell when they’re decades into marriage. When I asked why he felt safe to tell me, he said “it’s just about who you are.” Unfortunately, our relationship broke down rather suddenly, and I’m left reeling about “what did I do wrong?” It feels horrible when you can accept someone for who they are, but they can’t do the same for you.

[@laurawhite533]

@@rockmeyer6988 You know that actually you are the real deal most people are phony your real and important why don't you start a group for aspies in your community make up flyers to have a group get together if you don't feel like you can do that start a you tube channel maybe I hope for the best for you.

[@warrenlightning8137]

The sad irony of what you speak of regarding rejection and loneliness is, when someone does commits suicide from loneliness & rejection after asking for help, then everyone says, "oh if they only would have asked for help or if they only would have shared".

[@fishergirl4jesus]

Yeah and everyone tell everyone to mind their own buisness and care only for themselves. But of none care about anyone, who is responsible for caring? Professionals who gets paid?

[@fishergirl4jesus]

@2 MD I don't get what T-rex has got to do with it

[@iareamisme]

this is infuriatingly true

[@warrenlightning8137]

@zezt zezter - ,Absolutely!

[@andrewattenboroughtwothumb4697]

Warren Lightning I think this is what Elliot Rodger went through

[@stoplayin21]

having aspergers is like being left out of a life changing secret that everyone is in on.

[@laneatkinson6441]

jessica jones It's like everyone is in on a joke except you. I understand. When I go to talk to people, I never know what to say. I keep talking about myself because I'm the only thing I really understand.

[@83thechaz]

Aspergers is literally a death sentence. All the books about special talents, savants, how so and so was known to have as, is old. What these people experienced doesn't happen every day. The percentage is small. We aren't that stupid.

[@Drakengard82]

Its worse than you think, According to this narrative, einstein/mozart(...) had every mental disorder ever. Its just another feel good bullshit

[@zoesdada8923]

Exactly

[@fbbWaddell]

Yooo! It really is. Only nobody knows that you're not in on the secret and their mad that you don't know but they all refuse to tell you.

[@lunarnodes728]

"Why can't you just be normal?" - I've been asked that question by my parents, friends and lovers. And everytime it broke my heart a little. Like it wasn't enough that I was giving them my love and time and energy... They didn't even realize how painful it was putting on a mask everyday. I tried so hard, too hard at times-but it was never enough.

[@PhoenixtheII]

I don't find it normal to tell other people to be normal

[@livingwikipedia1952]

You worked so hard on making sure everything was going well, so that people are unable to see the struggle. I hope that you will feel better and know, that you are doing a great job and we all aprechiate your effort

[@NuLiForm]

**tosses a hug in yer general direction**...Ditto.Same Here. Until my last hubby...He Got me. When he died...i shut down & went into my cave. I communicate now, Only online, with Fellow spirits or no one.

[@DrNinaMGoglucciPsyD]

How true

[@tylerh3775]

I feel for this you hear it in many different ways throughout your life and eventually you start to agree with them. I wanted to be normal so bad but not for myself, for the people telling me to be normal. You should never change for someone else change for yourself be the person you want to be and follow your dreams and passions and don't give a f what they think

[@monaalexis]

Heard all my life, "Stop being so sensitive". Amazing when you realize it is not you but the people around you that are incapable of true human connection and communication.

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

Incapable of true human connection ? They're incapable of humanity.

[@nicelydone9776]

My dad had asperger's and the way my husband described it was ..."imagine someone who loves conversation, but is really bad at the interaction part of conversation."

[@MidnightSt]

that's... true, but describing only a very small part of it. like describing planet Earth as "imagine a huge ball of blue and green blobs"

[@dennist8475]

@Tea spill u need help

[@carlitos219]

Tea spill lol you shouldn’t be thinking about kids at your age. Live the life first and don’t be that clingy, boys hate that

[@nicelydone9776]

There is so much life to live before even thinking about having kids. If you like kids though work in a daycare. P.S. stop watching MTV.

[@thozby]

@Sakurai nope the minimum is 13

[@joan4115]

My son has Asperger's and OCD and listening to you sounds like him. My heart breaks for him. He has no friends. He reaches out to people but they are also uncomfortable around him or think he is weird. When he has reached out so many times and been rejected he becomes severely depressed. He sleeps for days and will not talk to anyone.

[@icecrystal3255]

Your comment about your son makes me really sad😔 I hope he can get some therapy❣

[@danb4115]

How old is your son?

[@K.Spade7902]

So sad for him. I can relate to his depression. His story is.... why can't other people be kind to those who are obviously hurting or are different from them? Just someone saying "Hello!" would be life-changing for him, I'm sure.

[@colleenmcnally9418]

My son is only 3,is on the spectrum. And these are my biggest fears 😢 I also do not plan on having any more children-im 27 and have extreme financial problems. Realistically it's not going to happen. I'm really scared he will have noone but me..

[@danb4115]

@@colleenmcnally9418 All children are beautiful gifts from God above. God does not make mistakes in His creation. Your son has been perfectly made by His creator. There is only imperfection by man's standard. Money and finances do NOT create happiness in life! God has certainly blessed you already with this son so love him and cherish him no matter how you envisioned his life to be. I pray Jesus speaks to your consciousness and He makes clear to you how important you are to Him!

[@daviddroescher]

Thay allways end with "you know you can allways call call me I'll be there for you ". but only if its convenient and your doing well, is what they mean

[@christinelamb1167]

Yeah, people always say that don't they? But they don't really mean it. It's so hard for me to ask for help, and I finally get the courage to do it because I really need help, and no one is there. It makes me feel stupid for asking for help.

[@memenazi7078]

Parents bro, fucking worse than useless. It sucks how long it takes to just not care and ignore shit like this. It’d be easier if people stopped saying this cuz it’s easier not to rely on em

[@annikabarr9705]

I’m so sorry you feel this way, it seems so difficult and saddening to have people treat you so horribly. I have a friend who has Aspergers and I want to be there for him, how do you recommend I do this? What can I say/do to reach out when he asks for help? I’ve told him that I will always be here and I listen when he opens up. Thank you for the help, have a good rest of your day :))

[@memenazi7078]

@@annikabarr9705 More important than anything, I think it should be made a goal once you learn about someone's Autism that you don't treat them differently, the relationship must be genuine. As for helping your friend, as long as you've proven to this person that you care and are willing to help and make sacrifices potentially then they will come to you in need. I believe one of the hardest part is finding balance between giving them freedoms to choose, and pushing them out of their comfort zones. Many autistics will let your wrongdoings carry on just to keep the peace or to maintain friendships or something. But the more you learn and pay attention to their emotions and patterns the easier it will be to respect their desires. And know, even your closest autistic friend may mask in front of you. Don't force them not to mask without earning their trust. Actions speak louder than words.

[@lunaedward6574]

It took me a long time to figure out they never mean what they say. They just say things. Confusing

[@annehogue7489]

So true! Once I was at a farmers market and was feeling exactly told me an invisible soon in the crowd. I sat down snd a few moments later,a dog walked from his owners booth and sat next to me. He knew how lost I was feeling and I was grateful for his letting me know I was not alone any more. His owner came over and told me he had never left her side like that before. ...that he was a therapy dog.

[@tula1433]

Aww I love this

[@sagatuppercut2960]

That's cool. A good pet doesn't judge you.

[@Djr67]

I feel a lot like this, I just try to avoid people as much as possible, I'm most happy when I'm alone.

[@mjlvnv]

dean r I don’t know that I’m happiest when I’m alone, but it definitely is easier

[@bdaina]

I agree

[@babydub77]

dean r you don’t have to have Asperger to feel like that . Humans are mostly assholes . I prefer my dog

[@Djr67]

@@babydub77 Hi Helen, yes I don't think I have aspergers but I have been trying to workout what's wrong with me for years, I think I have social anxiety , but thats brought on by not so great communications skills and I'm someone that is scarred easily by life's negative experiences unfortunately, I just need not to worry what people say or what I think they are thinking, and yes a lot of people are assholes. Great you have a dog, wish I had one.

[@NoThing-wc3cs]

I’m most happy when I forget myself.

[@Dudley_Fletcher]

The rejection is one thing, but when I see my friends lie to my face to avoid spending time with me is when I really feel betrayed and alone. Then if I just cut them out of my life, I am truly alone. So I get caught in this cycle of trying to expend all this energy to fit in with them but still rejected in the end. It just sucks.

[@meganwahl1671]

Same

[@the_real_bin_chicken]

I totally understand. I constantly feel like I’m in a catch 22 with my friends

[@janine7418]

I don't know that I am on the asperger spectrum but i do have PTSD with DID so I know the feelings. I do much better with folks who are also on the spectrum. I spent my entire career working with engineers and it is an especially good career choice for Aspee's. Your ability to concentrate is amazing! I love you guys...

[@lauramjstewart]

Ok, reading your painful truth it occurs to me- gosh, why don't we just seek out others LIKE OURSELVES? Surely there must be other people with asperger's, high functioning autism, introverts, etc. that I or you could hang around with. That would be interesting- being with others like myself - independent, ok with being alone, non-needy...ok, I see the problem. We may not need each other because we are so um, emotionally unavailable. Gotta ponder more on this! God bless!

[@theasphole]

Damn, it's as if I wrote this statement myself.

[@Lion-rf8xi]

Recently diagnosed with asperger's at 37. I struggled socially my whole life but never new why. In retrospect so much more makes sense now. The saddest part for me is how many times people have taken advantage of me and how I would always miss it. I got so used to being treated badly in highschool it became the norm. Now that I've learned more about psychopaths and how they use people I keep wondering if asperger's get targeted by psychopaths more often then normies.

[@lauramjstewart]

Hmm...maybe I survived this far because I am an artist- singer, songwriter, actress, screenwriter, aspiring filmmaker and thus being with creative people I was accepted cos it is an expectation that creatives are weird, different, eccentric, flaky, etc. Gosh, maybe I just found a great way to hide my autism but believe me, it was not conscious!

[@Lion-rf8xi]

@@lauramjstewart I could have done so much if I had gotten on the right path.

[@lauramjstewart]

@@Lion-rf8xi Oh- what makes you think you're on the wrong path? *smile* Gosh, I have made so many bad choices in life, and suffered so much but that was my path and I am at peace with it. I still have right now, while I am alive and breathing, to now create the path that I want and that I believe God wants for me as well. No I'm not preaching, I would never impose my beliefs on another, just sharing what works for me. At this time, with stress at work, struggles with health and finances, loneliness, etc. I feel calm and grateful and happy. It doesn't matter what is happening outside of me, because whatever anyone else says or does, that originates with them. Not me. So I don't take it on. Of course, time helps...I am in my sixties now, so I have the benefit of experience. It's all good, and it's always all good. Gosh, look at the gift we were given - non-conformists, conceptual thinkers, unique and even eccentric, creatives, etc. Would you really rather fit in with regular (ie boring, conformist, not deep thinkers/feelers) people? No! I cherish who I am. Hey you are amazing because you created this environment where we unique ones can hang out. God bless!

[@benis3551]

Yes. Aspergers are preyed upon by psychopaths.

[@maylissbjerke9204]

@@lauramjstewart i never liket this world. But now i have hope and know God will make all things new one day...life never made sence ,death and evil and sadness of myself and others i questioned all my life and gave me severe depression and anxiety,whats the purpose of it if we just die antways and thats it..??? i still struggle at times with purpose ,i just want all people to be made new,if that would exclude me ,now i dont care.as long as GOD saves all..if i dont believe this,nothing makes sense...if GOD saves only those who "shoose to believe,then he is not the saviour of the world and i told GOD that if he saves only 5 % then i want to be in the other 95% . I cant relate to other christians i met cous those i knew believe GOD created this place called hell,and will torture HIS CREATION forever, for what? Because he made us like this? God is love and torture is evil. It blows my mind that people can be at peace with this kind of sick twisted evil.. i think it just reveals the heartproblem of mankind/beastnature... love your enemies,dont torture them..love all..i guess they forgot that GOD told sinfull mankind to do this.but they think He will turn on his creation and torture them for being born of his will in his purpose.......this gives me so much anger i cant be around those people ,they tell me to be careful to believe Jesus is the saviour of all man even tho the scripture say so... feeling i have to witness to people gave me anxiety and burnout. God is the one calling not me... God called me personally so he can call anybody without my help. God is the one saving not me... withouth this hope life is meaningless .your prescious and uniques💞💞💞

[@hestercastlemansa2976]

Yes. My life journey has been a hard, uncomfortable one for me. Being ignored, being ostracized, being pushed away, being alienated. Feeling invisible.

[@tommychappell6359]

I've honestly got to the point where I want to be left alone. Can't be assed with others bull anyway. In fact it suits me that way. Good now I can get on with whatever it was I was doing.

[@LadyM251]

I know how you feel.. stay strong

[@Drew-wo6xr]

Don't forget about being overlooked, friend zoned, and passed up on

[@rosesuntil5411]

My partner has aspergers syndrome and when he’s tired he apologizes a lot for being “weird”. It’s been a year now that we’ve been together and he’s finally beginning to understand that I love him regardless of if his filter is up or not. I’m very sorry that he, and other people on the spectrum, have to feel this additional layer of isolation.

[@josephruiz7233]

You're always held to a double standard that you wind up the loser within.

[@Ludifant]

It becomes SOOO hard to believe in after a while. Because when you need it, you cannot be disappointed in that moment. In my case that means I am not "safe" any more. So then it's just panic attack time and reality takes on a vile shade.. Every shadow is an attack. That takes days to recover from. It's good when you finally meet someone who has no more expectations or projections of how you should be and can prove that to you over and over. That's when the healing can really begin... Happy those people can even exist. Hadn't thought it possible.. I am very open to becoming one.

[@taiwanluthiers]

He is incredibly lucky that he has you. I have nobody. Everyone around me is the same, ignore me until I go away and when I do reach out, often after a long time, they do not have time.

[@edwigcarol4888]

@@taiwanluthiers that is how i have become emotionally kind of religious (deep buddhism, Zen). There i find comfort, a harbour, a warmth within me. But each finds his way to cope emotionally. Many might turn to dogs, cats, horses etc, have a shelter for animals. Animals never run away. They deserve a medal for the therapy of humans in dispair.

[@brandoncheese1]

When I finally quit giving a shit what people thought of me is when I finally found happiness 🤷‍♂️

[@thatmannarbash7638]

what age,and what things did you do to start feeling that way?

[@brandoncheese1]

ThatMan Narbash took longer than it should have.. 36.. after a divorce I unplugged from all social media.. Became disciplined with my daily habits and goals. Took care of my body. And most importantly identified ppl close to me that did love me but were abusive in nature.. I had to leave them.. it’s hard but now I’m single but healthy happy and thriving. I own a small business which is amazing.. People try to strike up friendships with me all the time but I reject them kindly.. I keep my circle exceedingly small. One skill I’m amazing at is called “thought challenging” It’s when you notice you kind a talk shit to yourself in your head when you’re thinking, you identify it and challenge the negative thought.. and say fuck you im actually pretty amazing.. I have no idea if you can understand all this I hope you can. I’m not the best communicator 🤷‍♂️✌️

[@mrhyde9797]

Yeh sure you did. I believe you

[@cykablyat7393]

@@brandoncheese1 thank you for sharing. Going through a rough patch and this lifted my mood.

[@fauna867]

If nobody gives a shit about you then you'll never have a family or have any sort of social life outside of being alone

[@ritz6982]

I’m autistic. Social interaction used to be absolutely impossible for me to grasp and I was extremely awkward at all times. It changed as I started thinking of social interaction as a system of rules and norms, instead of something intuitive (which it is for neurotypicals). I can learn theoretical rules and systems, but couldn’t grasp social interaction just by watching others and trying myself. I decided to study it just as I would study mathematics or chemistry. Like an alien would study humans. It is sort of the same experience as when I was practicing to learn driving. It’s much easier now. If I have to socialize I can, but I still have no energy afterwards since it takes an active effort. However I no longer have debilitating social anxiety.

[@officersquarehead]

Story of my life as well. I gave up on having friends and accepting that I'm going to be forever alone has actually made me happier. If the internet ever goes away though, I wouldn't make it.

[@susanstater4695]

My story. My friends live in my iPad on you tube. Very sad.

[@camouflage81]

Sound like the hermit track, and that's toxic because the human brain is wired to be in a friendly group. Lonely and isolated people will eventually become depressed and have more and more social anxiety and having it hard to leave their home. You might temporary feel you get happier for a while not having to be rejected, but you also miss out on the good things that we need from social connections.

[@eballin45]

Accepting. ;) or worry doubt deny darkness. Need sensory stimulation for sure

[@ivanramirez8145]

Get married

[@JotaroPowered]

@@camouflage81 From my experience it's very rare people with aspergers are treated with human deceny or have any pleasant social interactions.

[@marcusp905]

People pleasing is a road to sadness my friend

[@davidhenderson5051]

@MP - preach

[@jbro8934]

Agreed. Live for yourself. Don't be a doormat. Fuck what other people think! "Listen your highness I take orders from just one person. Me!" - Han Solo

[@marcusp905]

@@jbro8934 you are young but you will learn (Yoda)

[@ThayAWSOMEworld]

Actually, people pleasing is a incredibly useful trait to possess if not overdone and done correctly. If you were a people pleaser you know it’s not about kissing ass, but making people feel good. You can get put at the front of the line for jobs and such .

[@stephenwoods6318]

M P people pleasing is a pathway to many abilities some considered unnatural.

[@miriamkorver1443]

I noticed that I always end up liking a person more than they like me. Someone who I considered to be one of my best, dearest friends, now turns out to think of me as a mere acquaintance. They don't dislike me, but certainly aren't as fond of me as I am of them. I thought they cared about me, but I was wrong. It hurts. This isn't directly rejection, but it's related, in my opinion.

[@autismfromtheInside]

definitely related. I get this a lot too. I think when you struggle to make good connections it's natural to highly value the ones you have (more than most)

[@stevenmckinney4200]

I feel for you. I feel for all the lonely people in the world. I’ve been aware for a long time that there has been but one solitary person in my life who loved me as much as I love them. My grandmother. I’ve been married twice and I have two children. I’ve loved all of them very deeply but they never loved me as much as I them. I realized this before I realized I have Aspergers. Now that I know, I’m just devastated by it.

[@p65rcfz28]

Miriam Korver that’s exactly my experience too. Hurts.

[@theresag1969]

Indifference is worse than rejection because it's so unclear. At least when someone rejects you there's a finality to it, albeit painful but I think more merciful.

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

Miriam Korver i got this problem as well, always trying to care for people to receive love in return but they just take it for granted so when I stop doing it, maybe because i‘m tired or simply forgot, they suddenly turn all rude wich hurts much more then the small problem they are making a fuzz about

[@IamCree]

I'm crying when I hear your pain. This has been my exact experience, and it's been so crushing when it happens with everyone, even with family members who are supposed to love you. Especially when you're specific about your needs and feelings and that you're hanging from the cliff. After you've been there for them and would never leave them in distress like that. I'm so sorry you experience it as well. I don't want anyone else to have to experience it

[@susanstater4695]

Family cusses me out and throw me out of their houses. All because I have different views. I’m a widow, alone, rejected.

[@susanstater4695]

I’m 74. I think I’ve had this all my life. Life has been crushing.

[@tommychappell6359]

@@susanstater4695 That's utter rediculous. So sorry. These people need to Grow uppp. I had this type experience before too. Where people hate you simply for opposing what they think/say/do. like people can't/don't tolerate fact you have different worldview than theirs/views general. Like just about everyone else on flaming planet. God those people are so washeddd uppppp. I bet they same people who never accept when they are wrong. Which I believe is a core trait of these people. If wanted to narrow down results to people. It would be that. It's not just worldview it's often personal. Like don't like way you speak/manner of way you speak, your personality/character. Some flaw. Which is unfair from get go. Because you are who you are, genetically. Like don't have chance from the get go. Simply for being you.

[@tommychappell6359]

@@susanstater4695 like to know your story. Write blog. It's shit it really is. And offenders often get away with it. Especially in time and day/climate. But as long as we know truth. They will always be guilty criminals we know them to be (even if not obvious to everyone else). The world might not know who truly are. But we will always know.

[@susanstater4695]

@@tommychappell6359 You are spot on.

[@osupokie]

I have never been diagnosed with Aspergers, but whatever this gentleman says on his videos he is talking about me. I cry every time I see his videos. 😥

[@ij6806]

get tested. dont limit yourself in case you have something else

[@jakemorris8903]

I suppose there's worse things to have

[@glennrm42]

You really have hit the nail on the head there. It's not that I can't read other people, it's that they can't read me and I'm overly aware of it.

[@autismfromtheInside]

thanks :)

[@catmagic2226]

Glenn Mcconnochie EXACTLY.

[@Charity-vm4bt]

Yes, there are two sides. Communication helps.

[@veep2786]

Wow. So much truth here.

[@theresag1969]

Worst yet they don't really care to read you, they only want you to read them. They are considered "normal". Who wants that to be their normal, not me.

[@theyrekrnations8990]

Winston Churchill once said that when he was 20 he was worried of what every body thought of him , then in his 40s he learned not to care what people were thinking about him , then when he turned 60 he realized that no one was even thinking about him in the first place

[@tommcewan7936]

IIRC, Churchill suffered from *severe* depression. He called it the "great black dog."

[@alilujah4476]

That wise man was betrayed so harshly by the same people who literally needed him too fight WW2, he predicted alot of what is happening in society now, oracle level of intelligence.

[@kda3113]

churchill actually never said that quote

[@curvcaten888]

thats pretty interesting

[@MidnightSt]

joke's on him, since countless of people though about him at the very least all throughout ww2, and people do even now. everyone studying history, at the very least, and then people mentioning his (real or incorrectly ascribed) quotes, and so on, and so on...

[@malexander2438]

I think this says more about how uncivilized our society is, than it says about you as a person. In a civilized society, people shouldn't have to all be the same in order to be accepted, appreciated, included, liked, or loved. It's not hard to support someone when they reach out for help. I hope through this channel you can find like-minded people to connect with who will be there for you :)

[@fancynancylucille]

Yes!!!!!! We live in an uncivilized society. Some of the absolute worst people make it to the top. What does that tell you?

[@avengedprophet1559]

The strange thing is that quite a few „normies“ think the complete opposite. As if rules determine civilization and the more of them the more civilized society is. As if it isn‘t strange to enforce all types of unnecessary rules (by rules I mean laws and „unwritten“ rules that people just expect) on people, no matter if those rules make any sense at all. Making rules for the sake of rules instead of actually making them to improve society. So often I ask about something that doesn‘t make sense to me and people just tell me that this is common sense, normal, this is right because it‘s a rule / law, it was always like that, … Most can‘t even explain why that specific rule makes sense or why it‘s harmful not to follow it or not to be different than that specific norm (is it so difficult to explain to me what the actual pro‘s and con‘s of a rule are? Isn‘t this how we should think about them?). All I get is crap like that‘s normal. Like gender roles. Why am I supposed to drink alcohol every 1 or 2 days and watch football because I‘m a man? I don‘t want to do that, alcohol is bad for my health, so why should I pretend to enjoy it. What does this have to do with gender at all? Why does everyone have to have the same interests, abilities, … Just because it‘s „normal“ doesn‘t mean it‘s good.

[@chris-wi3xx]

I see it differently. People ostracizing people with Asperger's, because we are acting differently from others socially, is human socialization at work. Thank God we live in a time where everything is industrialized.

[@martinpetersson4350]

@@avengedprophet1559 Most people never question social norms not even if they're detrimental to public interest and promotes intolerance and violence. Many norms are created by the media as the media creates the image of new norms and reinforces current norms, people do what they think others expect and most are gullible enough to trust authority and they perceive the media as authority, social norms holds authority over us in the minds of most of us. Now when people do challenge the norms breaching experiments have shown that others actually assume those who challenge a social norm have a mental illness. Now if you asked someone with a European background in a Western country about some African culture like Somalia where female genital mutilation is the norm or at least used to be a social norm, and you ask the person Westerner if they think someone in Somalia who would challenge the social norm of mutilating female genitals would they be mentally ill for doing so? They would probably say no because genial mutilation goes against norms but the thing is the person challenging those norms would be met with the same reaction, he must be mentally ill, most people only follow blindly and if you don't they pathologize you and won't consider the fact they all support child abuse believing it to be moral becasue it's THE NORM. Oh and even before I read about the fact people assume mental illness I already knew about it because others have been telling me I'm mentally ill because I act on my concern and hold people accountable their behavior is pathological but they will pathologize healthy and prosocial behavior. Few people seem to feel responsibility for their own actions because if everyone else is doing it then even genocide is justified by those who conform because that's how genocide works. They will claim they're just doing their job or that they "have to" when they actually choose to because they don't have a real moral sense and it's most convenient to do as told because that's what those kind of people actually value more than justice while those who are non-conformists with a higher degree of moral development are the ones who rescue victims in genocides.

[@avengedprophet1559]

@@martinpetersson4350 Great comment. It’s really sad how little we think about ethics in those questions, just because it is “normal”. Genital mutilation is not wrong because it goes against the norm. It’s wrong because it causes suffering. That’s the basis for how we should decide if something is good or bad.

[@whoever6458]

Story of my life too. I'm actually pretty traumatized by the times when every other kid was invited somewhere and it was actually the adult who told me, "No, not you." Over and over this has happened and I thought that, in adulthood, I could get an education and at least get somewhere but the answer is still the same despite my good grades. I'm actually somewhat relieved to find out that I have autism because I couldn't figure out why I couldn't be a part of anything before but it still doesn't change the fact that I can't be a part of things. What I do these days is go to the bar, drink some because it helps with the social anxiety of it all (plus I rode my bike so it can only get so bad if I'm drunk), and then I try to talk to as many people as I can and just be myself. Sometimes I am intentionally weird by asking them philosophical questions and I particularly target really drunk people who seem that they are going to their cars to drive home. It's amazing how many really interesting and insightful things drunk people have to say in response to philosophical questions and, since they're drunk, most of them will try to answer the question, which is awesome, plus they usually sober up mostly answering it because no one really has a short answer to a philosophical question. Instead of me feeling uncomfortable because of their social expectations, I am myself and let them feel uncomfortable if they are so inclined. I really hope that this will get people to question the social norms that have been drilled into them since they were young and maybe society will become more accepting of people who deviate from the social norms. What I find is that there are a surprising number of young people who seem like they enjoy talking to someone who doesn't simply follow the socially acceptable script. All people who have been marginalized have benefited from being faced with someone different from them to the point that they have no choice but to realize that we're all human, even though we also all have differences. I hope this will happen with autism and other ways in which people are different.

[@shantipersaud4770]

I really like your comment, it's very insightful.

[@IdleDeathGambling]

People: "Being different is a good thing." Also people: "Why cant you just be normal?" feelsbadman, I hope you find some people who seriously understand you and are kind hearted ♡

[@splenderella9]

@Mice Elf You sound very unhappy where you are now...did you have a CHOICE in the move? You might find that there are neighborhoods even where you are that are different, with more openminded people...hope you find those you can have more in common with!

[@Barry_mc.Cockinner]

The differences between people makes everyone reflect, and true bravery is needed for that

[@nathanashburner5022]

What's normal there's day's

[@cameothecat322]

When I was 14, my brother closest in age to me.. asked me "why can't you just be normal?" I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what normal was. People have rejected me my entire life.

[@ZafiroRiverSpirit]

I have asperger's and I feel this so hard. I'm watching everyone walking together as a group around me and I'm stuck as an outsider in the crowd, feeling panicky because I don't know what to say or do. And I feel so guilty about being an off-putting weirdo, but I also get defensive about it because I know I can't help it. I don't even know how to be the person people want me to aside from staying silent, smiling and nodding. Whenever someone accepts me for who I am, I'm grateful for it and I feel like I need to stay loyal to them, but sometimes they use my unfiltered honesty and insecurities as a way to manipulate me. I do have friends, but I always feel invisible, unwanted and unheard in a group.

[@roman4892]

Me too

[@lauramjstewart]

As a kid, I was on the outside looking in. Those girls were mean, and at the age of 9 I remember thinking to myself, "Thank goodness I have brown hair, brown eyes and brown skin. If I looked like those girls, I would be their friend!" I am not saying that fair people are mean, nope, must my experience at the time, growing up in the sixties as the only brown girl in class before diversity hit. I grew up developing my own thoughts, whilst observing the clique of girls who all thought alike. Years later, at a wedding, one of them apologized to me and said they had all respected my intelligence and knew I would make something of myself. Funny ol' world! I am still glad that I didn't belong to that mean-girl crowd!

[@jimmygangster]

The sheer accuracy of this comment is unbelievable.

[@KAHHHH8548]

Damn me too

[@Feminazi1dc]

That's why I self sabotaged my friendships. They clearly never cared about me as a person anyway. Ppl who push drugs on their friends aren't real friends

[@KinKat1]

I gave the link to your site to my Aspie son about a year ago. Last week he said to me "Aspergers from the inside is great". I nearly cried with relief. I was/am so happy he has found some help and guidance here. Thank you so much for helping and caring.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

My relationship is falling apart right now after 10 years and two children. It’s so sad, but I’ve found your videos and it’s helping me so much. Thank you so very much. I’m not alone.

[@bf8516]

I always thought I was even around family but I was told chose husband or chose s9n can't have both... ended up alone with neither because of many factors but now also dont have a relationship with my son that is anything but a visitor

[@katerina1179]

​@@bf8516❤🤗

[@Space_Cadet13]

Yeah even my family ignores me and has cut me out. Friends ignored me when I needed them the most even after I was there in their worst moments. I know nothing but abandonment.

[@maxpower3726]

It saddens me to hear you say that, but I feel that way too sometimes. I fight with my family (and friends and co workers) because I'll say something from a point of logic and I get a full blown emotional response in return which I don't expect because I have problems understanding emotions. I'm cursed with always seeing both sides of any story or argument and coming to an emotionless logical conclusion. It' amazing how many people feel alone even in a city of millions. Now that I know I have Asperger's, everything makes sense to me now and I feel better about it. Often people look at me like I'm an alien or something because I don't react or act like most people expect me to, or something that makes sense to me doesn't make sense to them. There are a lot of good support groups out there for whatever challenges you face, please for your own sake find one and find some people who do understand. I've had problems with depression and I hate seeing so many perfectly nice decent people suffer because they aren't understood. Keep your chin up :)

[@whyohwhy9679]

@@maxpower3726 Story of my life. Thanks for sharing.

[@katharinalovepeace3588]

My dear , it is often when we unconsciously bond with the wrong „friends“ that we stand alone the moment we need them. This happens to neurotypical people as well...

[@notabagel]

Yeah. I know how this is. And the worst (or best?) part, is that I see how my actions have hurt others. I think all I can do is grow as a person a little bit every day, and try to work around a social structure that I don't really belong in.

[@aspieangel1988]

Me too! I complain all the time and I come with drama. All I want is to be heard you know? It’s just sad. Even my autistic friends hate me 😭

[@c.a.greene8395]

My eldest son has this syndrome. I was told he would never leave home, loose his language skills by 6 years old, never marry or be gainfully employed... Well, he's 27, been living on his own since attending his post secondary studies at 17! He's now getting married to a wonderful woman who completes him in so many ways!!! He is testing his boundaries, making friends with other couples, traveling and I couldn't be more proud of how he's grown into a fine young man!

[@krysteenazumaya3273]

c.a. greene this is so refreshing and lovely to hear! Congratulations to you and your son and his wife to be! My husband and i have been real down lately because our nephew and my little brother have aspergers. It’s hard to be around them and they hardly have friends and adults get irritated with their hyperactive behavior and ticks. But they’re just trying to live like the rest of us. It makes us so damn sad that kids reject them or people find them a nuisance. We now understand why they are so hyper and why their emotions are on full blast. But they’re good kids and they’re highly intelligent! They excel in all subjects in school and finish tests first usually in class. I’ve been heavily researching and we are trying to help them best we can. It’s hard to step up and help raise kids didn’t create (both boys fathers are absent) but that’s where the term “it takes a village” was born. I’m happy my husband is such a wonderful father, uncle, and brother in law. He really steps it up for the kids our families giving them the male figure they need. If you don’t mind, what did you find helped your son as her grew into an adult? Did therapy work? Positive reassurance?

[@dontignorewatchme5851]

awesome I am so happy for him

[@c.a.greene8395]

@@krysteenazumaya3273 my son was very lucky to be living in Victoria BC and had access to the queen Alexandra hospital/ school for gifted children. They had special classes that help the kids find their strengths and understand their weaknesses. Sadly the funding for these programs had since been cut and I believe the children's hospital also lost its funding. I found my son did much better following his own program but inside a class setting. This way he had classmates and interaction but was able to go as fast or slow with any topic of his choosing which means he wasn't sitting around board waiting for the rest of the class to learn the lesson and acting out. We chose to medicate him with a natural sleeping aid and with the use of white noise canceling out all other noise he was able to get a good nights sleep and have a better day. I would like to take the credit but my son did all the work himself and put great effort into making his own changes. I still sometimes miss read his body language and think he's upset when really he's just processing the noises around him. Just accepting them as they are, loving them regardless and remembering its not about us and our failures but see everything as a chance to grow and learn and they will eventually find a comfortable way of excepting your quirks too! ( we forget to realize how they see us and our behaviors that may also seem quiet odd to them too!) If they are really young try explaining why people act the way they do in social situations can help with the anxiety of being in public and try and give them less group stuff and more one on one adding a third person after they master the art of two. I find my son did really well with only two people but any more and it became confusing and energy draining to keep up Good luck! There is tons of support out there so don't stop looking for a village!

[@krysteenazumaya3273]

c.a. greene that is AMAZING!!!! We are in the United States and as you know healthcare is a damn Joke. This government believes healthcare is a privilege for those who can afford it versus a human necessity. It’s a bit rough getting referrals in this healthcare system. My sister in law has our nephew in therapy (he’s quite young) and my baby brother is in boxing and started to take up running recently. That seems to have calmed his behavior a bit. Yes we do get looks and i feel bad for my mother and my sister in law when they get looks for the boys “acting out”. My husband and i step in all the time and try to make everything as normal as possible. My baby brother does get bored easily and school isn’t much of a challenge. As a matter of a fact in as little as a week he took his grades from Failing to passing beyond average. My nephews condition is far more severe and we are heartbroken because my sister in law knows his father, children at school, and others around him push him away and he grows frustrated and becomes angry. I hope when he gets a little older he can use some of my brothers techniques to cope. My brother has a unique way of making friends and seems to retain just fine. He bounces between 2-3 groups of friends at school during the week so that his social circle stays fresh. They all find him to be a jokester and just a smartass lol so it works! Boxing has definitely helped with his energy spikes and he loves running the mile and decreasing his time daily it’s a challenge for him. Thank you for your time and for sharing i really appreciate it! Yes i will remember to show them love and be patient! I love these babies and it’s great being like a second mom to them. I’m especially grateful for my husband stepping up for them and being the male figure they need in life. Hope you have a wonderful day and god bless you and your sons union 💕

[@kcs4652]

Beautiful story that gives so many others hope. Thanks for sharing!

[@doptimusdx743]

Being a 5’1” man, I relate to a lot of what you’re saying about constant rejection, being treated like the crazy guy on the train, and people saying that “it happens to everyone”. Thanks for giving a voice to this perspective.

[@Vyloka]

Im 6'4. Doesn't change much. Asbergers is rough.

[@ritabn493]

I am an 18 years old girl , and i just moved away to go to college and this is exactly what i have been feeling throughout my whole life . Evrything you just said sums up exactly my 18 yrs of age . I didn't have my first friend until my second year of middle school , and that was thanks to the years of analyzing my classmates and people arround me to figure out what was socially acceptable, be it appearance wise or personality, i ve picked up these different masks to finally be able to fit in and not be invisible. I thought that evrybody was like this , that evrybody felt really exhausted after hanging out with a friend, smiling and laughing because evrybody else is doing it . I would continue to mask arround people constantly, but when summer break will come i would have a huge shutdown where i locked myself in my room in complete darkness and refused to get up from bed not even to shower. It was a cycle, from having a summer shutdown and getting back up and picking up the mask , i was so desperate to fit in to be seen that i felt obligated to wear these uncomfortable clothes that would make breathing unbearable, watch the way i walk because my posture was naturally very bad . It was exhausting, i kept doing the cycle until i couldn't anymore . My last year of high school after summer break i just couldn't get back up , and fir once i was feeling confident that it wouldn't matter if i didn't put on my mask because now i had friends, but of course that was a huge disappointment. When i say i was completely ignored by evry single one of the people i thought i had am not exaggerating. Not a single friend, not a single interaction for a whole year , ut felt like i was back to that small invisible kid i was in primary school , and it felt lonely. Sadly i am still struggling to get back up , but tmw am having my first therapy session to get a diagnosis i hope it goes well. ( sorry i wrote alot)

[@MysteryGrey]

@ritabn493 ❤ I hope everything went well for you

[@lynx1598]

I hear you brother, that's why I am at the point in my life that I don't care much about rejection in my life anymore, I focus on helping those who are rejected by society and do what I can to help. outcasts need to look out for each other wether it's aspergers, or other mental disorders.

[@kathymyers7279]

Alice Dello "no man is an island. BUT SOME US ARE PART OF ISLAND CHAINS."

[@-belue-6697]

best of the 90s...My friend, Autism is a Neurological disorder, not a mental health matter...I'm not getting on you for either one, but just hoping you can understand that both things are different & NOT in the same category at all. :-)

[@-belue-6697]

This is why, with autism some people have say, Epilepsy, which is just as varied in symptoms as Autism is & is also a Neurological disorder. :-)

[@diane9247]

Belue-Myst - You are so correct. You have an excellent grasp of the nuances of autism/asperger's. Several studies have shown an intriguing link between autism and seizure disorders.

[@SpicyRikers]

Best comment ever, all us downtrodden gotta be a team! No matter the problem or difficulty they have, we all have a common ground.

[@kantamana1]

for me this "acting weird" means telling the truth. people want to be fooled.

[@lordofhostsappreciator3075]

Kind of, yeah.

[@K-R-T]

No... it’s not

[@primadeluxe4910]

Be careful with that though. Always be aware you could be wrong.

[@victorshackapopulus6078]

Correct

[@anonony9081]

I learned this the hard way with girls. If you are honest and show your insecurities they will drop you so fast. You have to pretend until you get them to care for you then you can start letting down the act

[@samanthabeaty4578]

Oh, wow Paul ... This hit home so hard. I just found out at the age of 38 that I have ASD and it's insane to think about how ostracized I've felt. As a result I've learned to be extravagant as a friend--doing insane amounts of favors that no one else would do and as a result I've become a doormat. I think I do these dramatic displays of friendship to justify my being a burden as a friend. Anymore I think I'm so tired of being taken advantage of that I might just like to not try interacting with people anymore. I find that the happiest times of my life were when I was alone. I remember getting covid and all of the sudden I could function, my house was clean, I was getting loads of work done and I was incredibly happy ... and I realized that it was because I had completely isolated myself for 2 weeks and no one really called up and checked on me apart from my parents. I have been fantasizing about just moving to some undisclosed location and living life as a hermit.

[@ivanramirez8145]

Autism people need time alone to heal, stop being a nice person, be evil, like machiavelli said, learn to be selfish,

[@lesliegann2737]

I feel your pain about people. A couple of fantasies I've had just for giggles: That I have to go into witness protection and leave my old life behind... or somehow I'm stuck on a deserted tropical island all by myself (well perhaps not for years).

[@samanthabeaty4578]

@@lesliegann2737 Yes!!!! I've had that Witness Protection fantasy so many times ... I wish there was a way to get into it without pissing off the mob or something lol

[@ivanramirez8145]

@@lesliegann2737 try country living, this is a better life for ASD people, we need more rest, City life is too energy draining. No toxic people, even family, toxic people can hurt us.

[@FunFindervids]

I've had that "fantasy" numerous times!

[@kellywright2318]

I cried throughout your video too. I have a teen and this has been exactly his life. He has PTSD from complete exclusion in elementary school. Middle school not much better. High school had hope with some shallow friendships, but they have all abandoned him. As a parent I have been powerless to help him. He says exactly what you say about the energy required to keep up the act of pretending to be normal. I wish there was a world where people with autism could all live together and be true friends. 😔

[@kme2701]

I’m now 50 and have felt like this all my life UNTIL one day I said to myself.....let them hate me, let them ignore me, let them avoid me. Because I realised pushing against the rejection is so painful and it’s not about right or wrong but about feeling peaceful. Now I get busy getting all the acceptance from me cause I have total control over me🥰🥰🥰

[@tommychappell6359]

Yep and reflects upon their immaturity/problems.

[@rialee8100]

When others need help, you help them in a heartbeat, but when it is you that needs help...you feel burdened and guilty as if seeking help is a sin.

[@athensmajnoo3661]

Ria Lee, how true!! It is the fact that aspies are always thinking about others' feelings, reactions and moods makes it all the more difficult for them. Get tough, grow a layer of thick skin and don't hesitate to be insensitive at times!!

[@varunk6633]

I don't have Asperger's or anything, but when people ask something or ask me to do a work for them, I do it in an instant. But when I ask them even a simple question that requires a yes or no answer, they try not to help. They look here and there and tell to wait. I will be here like just telling yes or no is a big thing to you now. So only people that you can trust is your parents that's it. Not even siblings.

[@Luculencia]

@@varunk6633 maybe sometimes the question can't be answered with a simple yes or no and required a more complex answer?

[@isidorodaviddoro1920]

@@varunk6633 you might be a people pleaser ,or have a low self esteem or even depression

[@varunk6633]

@@isidorodaviddoro1920 is it bad to be all those?

[@glynndraper437]

The school of fish analogy is spot on , exactly how I feel

[@sandrairizarry4658]

Even for people without Asperger's, it feels like people are only responsive when they are being given something or getting something from the relationship. Don't feel alone, we are here.

[@schizofriend3626]

That’s the biggest glaring elephant in the room no one wants to admit. No one wants a relationship without something in it for them; otherwise, everyone is our friend. 🚬

[@vsirrmk]

No. Everyone knows that relationship is mutual enrichment. Spectrum or no Spectrum, you happily Give, and gratefully Take. And no, you don't keep a score. Peace 🕊

[@schizofriend3626]

@@vsirrmk Thats certainly the ideal, and the goal for me and yeah it is for a handful of people, but everyone is born with survival instincts that use a great variety of self-preservation methodology-conscious and subconscious. Most people will not shake that off in their lifetime (if at all, really) unless made aware of it and it’s conflicts with what you and I consider ideal modern engagement and relationships and what not. Otherwise, most are still stuck in the realm of “must find likemindedness for gain and thereby survive”-as it were. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some utopistic social super guru douche who thinks to have all the answers, or really believes that everyone can just get along if we all try hard enough, etc (fact is, I’m conservative). Much Less am I transcendent of all humankind or some cooky shit, it’s just basic psychology and common sense. I too have aspbergers, but we are not the only kind of people who operate in manner of strict formula.

[@anarki777]

I don't know if I have Asperger's, but I do know I have been ostracised and rejected my entire life.

[@joans6047]

I'm sorry! 🤗 sending you hugs 🤗

[@redshift1223]

Nothing is forever.

[@joans6047]

@@redshift1223 isn't THAT the truth.

[@redshift1223]

@@EviLLivEClan yup, dont blame yourself for anothers shitty behaviour.

[@georgiojansen7758]

same here

[@philu4621]

"Normal" people usually are soulless people who adhere to some systematic ideology of what normal is supposed to look like and dont accept different ways of being and often reject what doesnt fit in their minds eye of what they believe people need to be. People need love and connection and support. It isnt you man. You arent the problem. People are selfish and just dont want to take the time. I go through it all the time, been that for years. God bless man.

[@TRBSTRG]

It's all in instinctual body language reading as well as other interactions. For neurotypicals, aspies might seem weird and soulless because the way they act or interpret each others behavior is different and they're unable to relate to one another, which in turn causes this distancing.

[@TRBSTRG]

Don't forget "mirroring" this happens usually subconsciously when people like each other. Also there are many things which neurotypicals have it happen without even them thinking about it. Its not intentional. I wonder if aspies get along better with other aspies.

[@rishelschimmel7358]

Very well said.

[@anthonylowney1395]

@@TheFarebanksTroll great contribution to the discussion ! What a horribly vile thing to say. I feel like I need to inform the police about this comment.

[@philu4621]

Thats why I said "usually"...of course all are not soulless, but...take a look at what is becoming normal, take a look at how people are treating the less fortunate and people who are different from the norm and tell me a better word to use.

[@tomsuejacob]

Hi, I'm a 44 year old woman in Canada that recently found out she has ASD. I was told when I found out that I was autistic that I would look back on my life and grieve what should have been if I had gotten help. This is happening however your videos have really resonated with me and help me articulate what's going on in my mind. I just wanted to thank you so much

[@Catlily5]

The only reason I have friends is somehow I found other weirdos. Forget the normals, they will rarely ever like us. Also if you help them and they won't help you back they are not true friends.

[@coops1992]

Yeah u need people who are also outcast by the general public.

[@jenpw1525]

Imagine growing up in a small town where everybody knows you as the weird girl. My siblings didn’t even want to be associated with me. Now I’m grown and I can feel how unsettled people are around me. I try so hard to mimic their behaviour patterns, but people seem to ignore me anyway. For me, most people seem very fake. Thank god I found a very loving and patient husband. Him, my cat and my parents are the only ones that matter to me.

[@Graveyard55]

jen W this video helped me find my people

[@megistardust7584]

I don't have to imagine.

[@thisguy5686]

You are correct, most people are fake. Especially in western society.

[@harrison777ify2]

JFL

[@jenpw1525]

Boneless Pizza - how do I find my people when I can’t seem to tell people apart from the others????

[@Maki-00]

This isn’t just about Aspergers, empaths and and introverts often experience the same thing. There is a tribe of lost people in the world, who just can’t fit in with “normal” people.

[@SuperLucylola]

yup aspergers is a label they put on empaths and evolved spiritual souls

[@Maki-00]

SuperLucylola That's what I was thinking. Anyone who thinks outside the box or can't conform is labeled with some type of "disorder".

[@SuperLucylola]

@@Maki-00 its a way to control people. most of psychology is BS

[@Maki-00]

@Seek R We've been brainwashed by TV and movies to make us think that we need tons of friends and that we have "kick it" with them several days a week. Not all people want or need that. I like socializing in small doses and only with people I am truly close to. I have no desire to make small talk with strangers and people I don't know well. We have this happy hour at my job every Friday and I chose that as my work from home day. I work with nice people, but I don't need forced socialization.

[@sweetpeace5]

Maki You’re 100% describing introversion which is actually nothing like Aspergers. Introverts feel their energy being sucked straight out of them in social settings & need time alone to reenergize before they can think of going back into a social setting. It’s very different.

[@alanross2790]

I have Asperger's , it's a tough life but bringing kids into the world who have this curse is the real killer.God bless you for having the courage to speak openly about this.

[@tommychappell6359]

We must always speak about it. There no escaping the truth. How ugly It is. And not forget that people with autism lives these realities every day. Turning back is just turning blind eye to the real reality they face. Turning back Doesn't make any more or less real. Not does end up improving outcomes for generations of people who suffer through it. And sad fact that it's not their fault. But their often the forgotten ones. People who suffered who's pains currently deemed not important. People who have good hearts bit have to deal with it nonetheless. (No Out of their own choosing).

[@marmedello]

The most painful time I have asked for help was when I asked my sister-in-law to help me continue a conversation with people she was already introducing me to. She used to say our names and then walk away. As a self diagnosed autistic, I would get flustered and nothing would result. When I asked her for help, she started cracking up saying it wasn’t her job to help me make conversations with people. She was in hysterics, rolling over, in tears and clutching her stomach laughing at the fact that someone doesn’t know how to start a conversation with a stranger. The rest of her family who was there was silent, even my blood sister. And my mother in law started jokingly comforting her and rubbing her back saying it’s ok that she doesn’t understand why people would need help socializing. Meanwhile I’m embarrassed and pissed that I’m being laughed at so obnoxiously by “family “ about my greatest insecurity. The wonder why I don’t talk much around them or treat them like family.

[@peezy1942]

Damn, I’m so sorry for you man, How has life been treating u since then, how is your mental health

[@redshift1223]

Believe me when i say this, the average person is oblivious to almost everything. Accept yourself and go forth regardless. Be the leader.

[@dreamweaver8331]

Banged the nail on the head They are sheep, we are mountain goats searching for our mountains to climb. The useless ones will follow

[@yarpyarp85]

hell yes dude!

[@rishelschimmel7358]

Yes

[@corkydelarge4440]

Well done! Extraordinarily easy to say. I hope you felt good saying it, but my good fellow you obviously have no clue that moral people have no desire to lead people to the slaughter. To be this leader, as your coaches and teachers encouraged you, isnt attractive when the group is heading into darkness. Sometimes being moral is a drag. A lot of you dont care or dont see consequences. We always do, and its not always cool as you are led to believe.

[@redshift1223]

@@corkydelarge4440 i didnt say it to look or feel good.

[@zuphie9680]

Big hug from an aspie to another aspie.

[@autismfromtheInside]

huggers are the best!

[@Terry_Bell]

As an gay male with aspergers who grew up in Venezuela in the 90s sometimes I wonder how I made it this far. Experiencing so much rejection that you are forced to isolate and create this fake robotic persona to mask and fit in with society hoping that one day you can find just one person that will like you for who you really are.

[@shinygiveaways1920]

For me, I just don't really know who I am. Its almost like I don't have a personality.

[@Feminazi1dc]

@@shinygiveaways1920 I feel that way around people at this point bc I can't be myself bc everyone hates that 😂😂😭😭😭 the mirroring literally takes your whole sense of self away

[@Amparito847]

Hey I'm an autistic Venezuelan too! (Though I'm not gay and significantly younger). So in that aspect we are somewhat similar

[@Terry_Bell]

@@Amparito847 meeting and chatting with similar people helps a lot altho that doesn't mean that you'll make new friends since other autistic people have different interests and won't show interests in you unless they're attracted to you

[@Amparito847]

@@shinygiveaways1920 Yeah I heard that's what happens when you always go with the flow and never show assertance or resistance. Saying some personal views or stories, regardless of people's reactions, is what started rebuilding my confidence and regain my identity

[@Megalodon64]

This is the story of my life growing up in school and in my 20s. I felt ignored especially by girls and women with the exception of older women. My parents always criticized me for my social skills and I never found true love until I was 30. And even with that it has been a toxic relationship. I never understood why I was living such a hard life and I had even had thoughts of ending my life so many dam times. I always fear living alone with no lovers around me after my parents pass away.

[@valeriedhodson3014]

I so get you. I am so tired. I am tired of trying. Just being my natural self annoys people. I know I will always be an outsider. I just try to find contentment and keep myself assumed. I know I will never fall in love and have lots of friends. No this doesn't just happens to everyone. Being an aspie is like being an alien trying to be human. Being aspie is isolating. Being aspie is scary because no matter how hard you try, you will make mistakes that people don't understand. Hang in there. There are hard days but we can still have good days and we can still have fun.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks Valerie :)

[@casadeluzparalasn6382]

Thats what I always said I am a alien I don't belong to this planet lol

[@gabrielamarcus]

Same here... I always felt that I don't belong to this world I have this crazy theory: What if we as aspies are lost souls from other worlds that were sent and incarnated here whether for mistake or unfairly in this prison dimension? And so, we are here... Trapped in a hostile world and longing for our real home...

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

I used to say I'm an alien, but when you look at the world, we here to change it. We're smart enough and creative enough to be honest about what makes sense and what doesn't. We don't accept the unacceptable.

[@ayodejioguntimehin2361]

I pray and hope that you do find love one day with the person loving you for who you are.

[@CrystalMouse1]

I’ve been screamed at on the job for my facial expressions. I never was bullied by my peers cuz they just avoided me and I avoided them. I hid under tables in the library at recess. But as I grew older I realized that I was expected to perform in a certain way. So I began to wish I could be an animal or something else so I could be free again. I was terrified of going out by myself or getting a job. When I finally did, I did well in interviews by masking but once I was working for a week or so it became apparent that I was different and that I didn’t know what my supervisor wanted. I’d get screamed at “you act like you were just born! What’s wrong with you!?” This echoes in my head today. I ve had ten jobs and was fired from most of them. The others were summer jobs and they took pity on me because I was going away to college and everyone knew me there. I’m now so physically and mentally broken that I’m in a wheelchair and paid disability payments from the government. I developed gender dysphoria, bulimia and pots along with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Before coronavirus I was in community choirs but bullied in those for my autistic Stims. Do I really care about neurotypicals anymore?

[@ivanramirez8145]

The NT World is hostile for autism people, i say to hell with them, be a bad boy or a bad girl enjoy life, autism people die Young, whe die at age 36 to 54, so life is short for us.

[@user-qi1lv7vr5p]

I’m so sorry. It is so sad that people can be so rude and cruel. It’s painful to think what are you have been going through. I hope you will get better. 🫂💚

[@kyauyss]

I’m so sorry about that. Hope you’re doing better nowadays. ❤

[@fancynancylucille]

Holy s--! I get it all!!! My first day of choir I got glared at by 3 people. They clearly wanted me gone. When I try to explain this treatment I get all the time, people say I imagine it. I am not imagining it. I learned to apply for jobs no one else wanted, like Friday night overnight shifts….Your experience sounds brutal.

[@donpeace894]

You sound like you've gone mad

[@mdj864]

You are logical and intelligent. I don't understand how this could happen to you. You deserve good people in your life.

[@adriananderson9264]

I feel the same as you describe it. It's so hard living with people when you feel so different and they make you feel that you're not part of "their" society. I'm so glad I found your channel as it's helping me understand my autism and how we're all so alike. Please don't stop making these videos you are an inspiration to me and can't thank you enough. I'm also living in Australia.

[@ivanramirez8145]

We autism people need a City for only autism people

[@lewismartin4306]

I don't even have Asperger's and I feel like this.

[@minecraftboygeek]

Moai ok boomer

[@joem13yearsago73]

You have the burgers

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

Social anxiety

[@AntiTrollable]

@Moai aspergers is not a mental illness. I think the majority "norm" is the illness and us aspys see the strangeness therein and we express these observations without malice or emotion but pure analysis.

[@cw1774]

Have you been for a diagnosis? maybe you have it but dont realise

[@empresslils1619]

this is my entire childhood and early adulthood. i never understood how it seemed like if they needed help, i was willing to help them although they were never there for me. it seemed like people would leave my life after they "collected" what they wanted from me.

[@autismfromtheInside]

sorry to hear that :(

[@DarknessIsThePath]

The irony if of it all, this is exactly what NTs feel when their AS partners want to end their marriage or RL after years out of nowhere. Maybe NT and AS communities should talk about that lol, in many cases the core issues are the same.

[@andreachang6136]

So true! We aspies should stick together and revel in the fact we are different. Who the fuck wants to be "normal" anyway. Any fucker can be normal! The world is a more interesting place because of us and NTs should be grateful for that!

[@taralilarose1]

@@andreachang6136 No kidding considering we are the ones who have made this planet flourish......filled it with beauty, music, art, literature, philosophy, inventions!!!!

[@lostnfoundinchrist4812]

the Lord loves you so much, just the way you are. You are a precious jewel to him. Call on the Lord Jesus Christ, he can be the best friend you could have. I see you. You are seeing peoples true self. it happens to all people, Asperger or not, you just have a bigger heart then most. be proud of who you are, you are special, and not in a bad way, in a genuine way. Bless you.

[@lesliechan31]

This just breaks my heart. My daughter has gone through the same thing you have. She's a teenager now and people have always rejected her. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

[@kimineasttexas4090]

I've been avoided by everyone my entire life as well be it family, school, or work. It really hurts when you're talking to someone or answering their question and they just turn around and either start a conversation with another person or they just walk off. That's a really bad feeling. I have learned to stay quiet and not say anything unless I just have too. I know no one cares what I have to say and they don't want to hear it regardless.

[@normalgamer5000]

I have aspergers and I’ve been alone and rejected all my life. I feel this so much. But I’m glad to be myself even if others may hate it.

[@kiddrizzl3]

As an introvertive person that has fought depression my whole life I understood where you’re coming from. World can be a tricky place

[@MoonPhaze5]

Why aren't we all friends?

[@TheOriginalOhZone]

Depression may be a physical/dietary problem. Eat healthy food. Veggies & fruit. Raw fruit.

[@kenyahiguchi7707]

Oh Zone it usually is, things like not enough water an irregular sleep schedule, not enough human interaction and unhealthy eating can cause depression and people don’t even realize it, the most comforting things to some people are actually destroying them

[@justanotherpersonxo]

@@kenyahiguchi7707 no it's not. This type of iadvice is what's wrong in the world. Depression can simply be an imbalance in the brain chemistry. Not everything is solved by a good diet, sleep and exercise unfortunately. So stop giving pseudo science advice. That's extremely harmful. I used to feel even worse because i've tried all of this healthy living/vegan/vegetarian crap and wasn't getting better at all. If anything i've gotten more suicidal. Giving such careless advice on the internet should be illegal. Just because it worked for you or a handful people you know it doesn't mean is the answer for everyone.

[@ianturnbow7011]

justanotherpersonxo I’d like to preface that I’m not anti-medication. As a community and society we still do not know how and why antidepressants and antipsychotics work. Yeah, serotonin (SSRIs), norepinephrine (SNRIs), and dopamine are targeted by medications. But, our understanding of why these drugs work is on the edge of nonexistent. SSRIs are barely more effective than placebo in far too many cases. Research is currently underway to discover a different system than dopamine that is likely more effective to target for schizophrenia, for instance.

[@bobbigirl07]

I've never been able to explain it but you got it exactly right. You've shared my existence perfectly.

[@ostbey]

Thank you so much for posting this! I was first diagnosed with Asperger's at age 54. I couldn't take it in fully at that time, although it finally explained why I was constantly being rejected and feeling so solitary all my youth. Luckily I did find people with open attitudes, ears and arms in my life. I met a couple of women also, and that was great, but fulfilling and long-lasting relationships proved elusive. My autism causes problems in my current (otherwise happy) marriage. Luckily I was diagnosed and now, 5 years after my first diagnosis, I am able and have the chance to learn about my blind spots caused by autism, and to discover where and how exactly I differ from other people, which can help a lot in relationships. Sometimes just by informing them that I actually am different, that my brain works differently, and that this is why I seem awkward. Your videos are helping me a lot to cope with this rather scary discovery quest. It feels like an earthquake inside, I am no longer who I thought I was. So who am I? That's scary. Thank you so much for being the friend to lean on in this journey! What you have gone through was not in vain, you opened the way for others who follow you in your footsteps!

[@powernumpty]

I find “spending time with people” tiring. It took me probably until my forties to really understand that I just don’t care for the “rules” that define "normal". The “reward” for playing by the “rules” is, you to spend more time with people. I find “spending time with people” tiring.

[@taniachara77]

powernumpty yep!

[@jeupater1429]

A lot of it is power dynamics, which is basically at the heart of social interaction. I think a lot of what we call spectrum disorder is a question of misunderstanding the nature of dominance & submission. If you work the system to gain power, social dynamics become much easier. The problem is the pareto principle. The brutal truth of our world, and the lie of omission we've all been subject to, is that if you're not in the top 20% of the power distribution youre effed. That's how it's always been, the strong conquer. You obeying the "rules" is you submitting. That's why it's tiring. However if you were to change your status such that you were in the top 20% of the power heirarchy of your social environment I suspect you'd find social interaction much less draining. I'm not saying autism doesn't exist at all as a condition, but a lot of our interpretation, in my opinion, is based on a societal misdiagnosis of how social dynamics work and the fact our society lives in a delusion about the basic nature of the world

[@crazychristmas100]

@@jeupater1429 this is a great observation. I agree with you. People struggle to understand how society works so they end up misdiagnosing themselves. At the end of the day most people only care about themselves in action. Maybe not words but if you look at their actions people tend to be self serving.

[@rob-123]

I just mimic how people are with me. When i get a nice happy person im happy back and its fun but when i interact with about 90% of people which is sad boring paranoid im just the same back, but they are just too stupid to realise and i find it quite funny. I don't know why i do this but it does get tiring due too how depressing people are.

[@Luculencia]

I used to find it tiring but I've tried being completely antisocial and after a few weeks alone I started to miss conversation and people's company.

[@everyrose2]

The pain of social rejection is the same as physical pain. I’m right there with you on this.

[@rollingdudes8859]

Actually you get numb and don't feel anything when rejected so you start trying to find other ways to approach something and when you keep getting rejected and your brain maxes out, then you go insane!!!! To hell with people, If they were not all so stupid things would be so much easier!!!! The drawback is you won't be the nice guy anymore but when you stop caring it is amazing how it changes you!!!

[@jimchapman4579]

You are spot on. I know from a lifetime of experience what you are talking about.

[@brianuke2301]

I worry a lot for my 5 y.o. son who is on the spectrum because we live in this cruel world. I’ve gained so much from your videos as a way to better understand him so that I can be better at being there for him.

[@nunurbusiness162]

Being a sensitive attracts narcissist.

[@primadeluxe4910]

I have come to realize this. It is sad but true.

[@anthonylowney1395]

oh shut the fack up about narcissists already. They just aren't that common. It's like every relationship that doesn't work out now is because a narcissist was involved.

[@nunurbusiness162]

@@anthonylowney1395 That is a text book narcissistic comment. The narcissist will become angry when confronted and will usually act with rage.

[@anthonylowney1395]

@@nunurbusiness162 haha yeahhhh, everyone has a degree in psychology these days. Let us all remember that psychology falls under arts and not science.

[@nunurbusiness162]

@@anthonylowney1395 you have a good day bud

[@garyharding2012]

i am 56 yeras old ....alone ......you made me cry too... you are speaking of my life ......you are genius and have found the courage to speak out

[@Alex-sr7op]

I hope he inspired you to find the courage in yourself too.

[@hjlkh882]

I'm so happy you made this video. I'm going through exactly this kind of social burnout and I KNOW it's impossible for me to reach out right now, and you're right to say that people miss the point when they tell you to get over it by considering that everyone gets rejected. Being socially acceptable isn't effortless for everyone.

[@rebeccaryan5030]

I've just found you on KZbin. I see so much of my own son in you. He's growing and learning who he is and you are the perfect "you tube uncle". No one understands his struggle because he's so eloquent and able but everyday is a challenge. Thank you so much for your videos.

[@kathymyers7279]

you.just described what I've felt my entire life! I'm standing there and they are all PROGRAMED like a bee hive and I didn't get the memo. I panic and cave in on the inside. my whole life.

[@autismfromtheInside]

glad you can relate but sad at the same time

[@ibeam06]

Same here

[@yandelavantfkagauntletpalacia]

i personally think society does “program” “normal” people aka sheep to be so emotionless and soulless. sometimes i feel like my aspergers makes me normal and everyone else are just wrong

[@gabrielamarcus]

I have this crazy theory: What if we as aspies are lost souls from other worlds that were sent and incarnated here whether for mistake or unfairly in this prison dimension? I always felt that I don't belong to this world

[@jomac3120]

Same I’m glad , I don’t want to be like them I love being me with my brain and so should you all.

[@caseyjeanchapman]

I've been watching your videos back to back this morning and sometimes crying because you're able to put into words things I never could. Thank you.

[@Marlene-ii9zw]

My heart goes out to you. I pray that you will find someone who understands and accepts you the way you are. As I do for my son 🙏🏻

[@benjamintaylor3878]

I notice this with conversations, I will listen and listen and put all my energy into replying and really caring, even about a subject I’m not fond on, but as soon as I’m speaking I feel as if it is a quick point which is skipped over or I can notice that they start to go on their phones or start a new conversation or laugh at something else and I can never seem to feel as if I’m conversing in two ways. My brother is the only person in the world who I feel equal with who listens and cares and allows me to not put on a persona for the day

[@JV-tk9yn]

Bro I get this ALL the time. I think it's because I'm more introvert and attract extroverts so all they want to do is talk at you without listening. It's so frustrating.

[@hssnn7547]

Pal, I relate to this so much.

[@its.sawako.not.sadako.1231]

This. They seem to only care what they have to say but won’t bother opening up to others opinions. I will talk and be there for you and not expect anything in return, but after a while it hurts when ppl just don’t even put effort in helping the conversation or listen to what I have to say with relatively the same energy.

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

People are assholes. The world is full of talkers who..When not talking, parents listening. They're just waiting to talk again. Not to mention the fake and superficial garbage. I don't have aspergers but I sure as shit don't fit in.

[@benjamintaylor3878]

Wakingfromslumber sorry mate I don’t believe in that kind of thing, no offence

[@shoot_the_glass5654]

I've come to a destination in life, where I don't want to reach out anymore.

[@Ryan-Petre]

That's the spirit.

[@yogaflirt7]

That's sad.

[@65StarlightBlessings]

Self Protection !!

[@gwquintin1999]

Bro u good?

[@andeestube2]

It’s OK, you don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t really reach out that much because I’m usually disappointed because people just don’t get me and… ***Whatever***. I’ve lived long enough to know that my own self-love and preservation is the most important thing to me. Childless and single and I am A-OK just like I am, just like you are! 💟

[@JustNath2024]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It really ressonates with me. I see you've posted it 5 years ago, I hope in the meanwhile you were granted some people in your life that do see you, that hear your call for help, in every wich way you cry it out and that they are also willing and able to respond in a sincere and compassionate way. Lots of love and light to you (and everyone that reads this and can relate to this experience in any way). 💝🙏🏼💝

[@lydiawong1680]

Oh my gosh! This is my lived experience, and I've had such a hard time putting it into words. Thank you so much. This video is incredibly validating, and gives me language for what I feel as I walk through life.

[@saharaalberto4057]

That is exactly how I feel about all my interactions with others, my entire life. I bend over backwards to accommodate other people, sending hours listening to them and being very careful to always say "the right thing" and always be encouraging and positive. If anything I am too empathetic and I feel other people's pain too acutely. When the tables are turned and its me who needs someone to talk to, no-one is available, or if they are, they give me trite, 5-minute advice that is next to useless. I don't ever feel anyone has ever taken the time to really listen to me. It's like I don't count. I never understood this - it's nice to know that there is someone else out there that has had the same experience as me. It wasn't until I was 35 years old and went to a psychologist for the first time in my life, that I ever felt listened to. It was amazing having that feeling of being listened to; I cried and cried and cried. If anything good has come of all this, its that I've lowered my expectations of people and have learned not to expect anything from them. I'm also a lot less available to listen to most people's problems now. I usually recommend people see a professional and get good advice about all their issues, and I tell them that I'm so lousy at life that I can't offer any help. (Which is actually not true, because over the years, I've become reasonably good at dealing with problems, as I've had so much experience.)

[@teemadarif8243]

It's them not you. Humanity is lacking in people .

[@subirbhaduri]

Thanks for your personal story. i am 35 and feel that i have something similar to do with Aspergers. Reading through the comments sounds so familiar at times. I relate to what you have shared. thanks

[@saharaalberto4057]

@@subirbhaduri Thanks. I've recently found out more about myself since writing the above comment. I found out that people with A.S.D. are much more likely to be exploited by others. We are magnets for narcissistic types, who thrive under our empathy but don't give anything in return, ever.

[@subirbhaduri]

@@saharaalberto4057 that is an interesting comment. I am wondering if we are responsible in some ways to invite the inherent narcissism of everyone we come around by our selfless giving before we burn out? That i guess the video's author also shares i guess. Maybe if we do our part in building a balanced relationship, we may manage to keep narcissism at bay?... i am just thinking...

[@saharaalberto4057]

@@subirbhaduri absolutely, we play a subtle role by being ourselves. I am naturally empathetic and I enjoy being that way. Being empathetic just feels 'right' for me. Narcissistic people see this a mile off and so they swarm around me. My job now is to practice being empathetic in moderation. If I'm nice to a person one day, and listen to their problems for 2 hours, that doesn't mean I have to answer their calls the next day. I can be unavailable. I can take a week to return a call - it's my right to do what suits me and my mental health. If I listen to someone but they refuse to listen to me when I have a problem, I can feel free to say "I really don't know what I would do about that" next time they come to me. My favorite thing to say at the moment is "Have you tried medication?" ;)

[@mr.vargas5648]

trying to be friends with everyone is just a waste of time.

[@leavemyponyalone5681]

I dont have the condition and i still almost have no friends. I can imagine how he feels.

[@bastardbill9480]

Who needs friends when you have heroin that's what I always say.

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

I don't have friends too

[@kermifrog7789]

andy pete exactly how I feel, why try

[@rollingdudes8859]

I know if people were not so freaking boring then it would be easy to have friends but there are so many stupid people out there it will drive you crazy!!!

[@eulabergado6927]

Thank you for this video Paul. I am sharing this with my 15 yo son who is an Aspie and struggling so much with exactly what you just discussed here. He watches your channel and is encouraged that he is not alone.

[@donnapalmer9697]

I cannot express how much you have helped me. I grieve for your disappointment. And for the lack of character of those you have needed. Sending you energy and peace. May the people in your life prove more worthy of you.

[@leahfinch7126]

The less you try to blend in and be something you aren’t, the happier you will be.

[@andyrudy8627]

That's it. Just have to practice a little.

[@drteddy2609]

True, but it will always be so obvious that you just don't fit in. It's like you're designed to swim against the current but no one else around you is, and you still have to see it every day. It's exhausting. I have accepted myself, but that doesn't exactly make it easy if you understand what I'm saying. The stress of the times where you have to fit in like work situations or whatever... Omg.. 😱 I die before I even get there because I know what energy it will cost me.

[@adampetten5349]

Not realistic. People who have very mild asperger's also want to have friends and social interactions.

[@lunardestruction]

"social interactions" indeed ;)

[@KaneCiticani]

leah finch yeah and you end up with no friends. You can say “beta” behavior, however, beta’s are the majority, female and male. They all have friends, they all have social groups, they all get along together.

[@eskabanofficial]

true, ive been socially rejected so many times that i learned how to live without social contact

[@TSPH1992]

This

[@Ryan-Petre]

Sounds like a tragic life. Hope you're complacent with that.

[@irinauuuu]

Sorry, what does that mean? People refuse talking to you or spending time with you?

[@leemi841]

I've watched so many of your videos and it still feels like you're able to channel my inner voice using the words to Express exactly what I've been experiencing my whole life but had no way to Explain.

[@Coco-hs1sr]

Love you Paul. Thanks for your work and I wish you strength . So glad you're there .

[@ketz_165]

I think this goes hand in hand with social anxiety. Every single thing you've said resonated with me and I know exactly how you feel. You're not alone friend.

[@tiarapao821]

Jesus healed me of this. I have faced every single thing you mentioned here. He made it certain to me that I was loved by Him. He is super real and the most important person that ever matters in all the universe. Knowing the truth that God personally loves me changed everything...I dont have to keep up with all my acts anymore....there"s someone I can run to and embrace whenever I face an unpleasant situation. Running to Him like a child and free falling into His love for me. He is my home. My place of rest. I dont have to pretend or try to please the Lord for He knows me already and loves me deeply already. Jesus has healed me internally so much....I know I am sooo loved and cherished and that's all I really need and want. His opinions matter more to me more than anybody else's. I no longer care what people think of me when I'm just simply lost in the reality of the Lord and just loving on people comes off so easily now with no effort. This is the result of overflow...I cant give when I'm empty....oh how we need the love of Jesus...He is the only one we can trust fully and whole heartedly...JESUS LOVES YOUUUUU and He is so so so so so so real!!!!! His love is tangible!!!!

[@KatzRool]

nice username lmao

[@thereportoftheweek787]

I am diagnosed with social anxiety and I feel the same way. Whenever I try to reach out for help I’m met with the same 4 words. “Everyone gets anxious sometimes.” It’s infuriating, because what they’re basically telling me is “everyone else can deal with it so why the hell cant you”, like they don’t understand how constant and intense social anxiety is.

[@dafreshest420]

@@thereportoftheweek787 I went in for an interview at subway the other day, I tried my fucking hardest to be chill and relax. my heart kept racing my legs tapping my hands are sweaty and shaky, I could care less about what they think, I meditated cold showered did everything I could beforehand and then boom I get there and im a nervous fucking wreck. Ive been learning about Nonverbal behavior which is helping me a lot, you start realising everyone is uncomfortable its not just you.

[@dafreshest420]

If you meet a stranger you have to learn to really talk to them, make them comfortable, make them feel like a friend, and if they reject you just keep it like that. hand shaking eye contact understanding and listening goes ALONG WAY. Dont give up thats not an option

[@projectmarzanna3658]

I completely agree with this. I recently found out I have Aspergers at 25. This video really spoke to me. Sometimes is feels like I must randomly become invisible or like suddenly its like I'm speaking another language. I'm still really struggling to understand why I'm like this, why I have meltdowns so frequently and why I can't just communicate with people effectively. I keep hearing "oh you'll just need to work on it". But that kinda feels like someone telling me to work on the weather because there has been too many storms.

[@AspergersversusNeurotypicals]

I hope the book "guardians of the blue planet" might help.

[@jakel8715]

I was wondering if getting an 'official' diagnosis really made a difference? I mean I know I am different and it's in my nature; what did the diagnosis change in your life?

[@BombDame]

I know it's very difficult but I have been making good progess in the past 10 years. You just have to put yourself out there and you will get better. It's okay to make mistakes sometimes, it's all part of learning something new

[@charimonfanboy]

+Random Tube It really made a difference to me, if only because I now know that I'm not just a friendless freak who doesn't understand social cues and struggles looking people in the eye. Now I know I have Asperger syndrome, which is a big reason why I am friendless. don't know how to social and struggle with basic life stuff like looking people in the eye

[@charimonfanboy]

Fair enough, definitely different with me, I didn't realize until I was 29 and tried to get help with job interview skills and he asked me what help I was getting for my autism. Until then I always just considered myself to be a weird freak, I still am, but at least I know it's name and that helps a lot

[@clayrasmussen8199]

This channel has been one of the best things that ever came into my life.

[@michaelfox3486]

Don't you give up Paul! Your videos are really a source of hope. I'm 54 and found a smile watching you since before the pandemic. I don' have to rely on friends or family when I'm drowning. Services catch that when they come in once a week and offer constructive ways to distance myself without get upset at the world, myself or "normal people." The "what is wrong with you?" yep heard that from everyone for 52 years...can remember much before two years old. I am proud of all the information videos you have made for our kind. Thanks.

[@muireannnisidach7890]

You are me. I've given up completely. Being around others for months, years, decades sacrificing everything for the people I love and giving up because after years not one can name a single thing the know unique to me. My favorite band, name a song I've written. My closest brother had to text me to find out my birthday. 35 years ago I felt like no one cared so I stopped calling everyone I knew. I've never heard from anyone again. For most of my life I keep wondering when or if I'm going to suddenly wake up and find this was all a nightmare.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Muírann Ní Sídach thanks for reaching out. You're definitely not alone.

[@veep2786]

The only person who knows those qualities in me is my mom. By my accounts she has Aspergers also. I feel like no one cares enough to remember those facts about me. I feel ya.

[@kls701]

I hope your doing ok. Man that so sad. But I feel you though

[@lostnfoundinchrist4812]

the Lord loves you so much, just the way you are. You are a precious jewel to him. Call on the Lord Jesus Christ, he can be the best friend you could have. I see you. You are seeing peoples true self. it happens to all people, Asperger or not, you just have a bigger heart then most. be proud of who you are, you are special, and not in a bad way, in a genuine way. Bless you.

[@threethrushes]

We are all fundamentally alone, adrift in an uncaring universe. Either deal with it, find a mission in life, or sulk and do nothing with your life. Stop giving a fuck about others. #ZeroFucksGiven

[@Ol_Ben]

True brother. I'm an Aspie myself, always been the outcast my whole life. Seems like nobody ever sees or hears me.

[@MxDudeeee]

Thank you for sharing your experience!! I’m almost brought to tears because I’ve finally heard someone explain exactly how I feel around other people. I really appreciate your vulnerability and candor.

[@clutegoodwin8559]

53 years with this...bro I relate and thank you for shedding light on it. God bless

[@isthisforreal7731]

I just want to hug you, and let you know that there are people out here that would not push you away.

[@sarahbellum3578]

I am so sorry you’ve suffered. I would love to be your friend.

[@1centwiz]

What is hard is that people say that, they mean that, but after awhile we tend to get stuck in a rut on things that interest no one but ourselves and we have no clue that we need to stop talking. Lack of filters cause issues as well when it comes to knowing what a secret is... make sit hard for people to trust what to share as well. Because we "look" normal, we are put to the test all the time... we just don't know! It doesn't mean we can't keep secrets, just tell us a secret. If you want to hear honesty, we can be hurtfully honest without realizing it. This guy is just as lost as most of us on the spectrum... I just found out at 55, so my life was full of abuse and unknowns. That invisible line that everyone else seems to see, but me.

[@mauneen19]

Thanks. I’m sure you are a lot of fun

[@Spincat08]

Love the name!

[@quietspark8703]

Totally get it. My experience in this realm is that a lot of neurotypicals will gladly pretended to meet me halfway while not actually doing so, sort of just treating me as "quirky" and humoring me. Then when something happens and I actually need them to meet me halfway suddenly I am the "problem" and the façade they previously had just dissolves(to me this is worse than just outright refusing to acknowledge me being Autistic IMHO). This happened with my ex-gf which ended our relationship(I ended it because of this) and now with my manager but I'm refusing to back down because I am sick of it(Thank god for the ADA). From my experience it is better to take longer to find people you truly can be yourself with than try to mask in order to make fast friendships, sooner or later that mask is going to become a burden to heavy to bear.

[@ginablanshard8255]

Choosing to be who we are makes other people choose to not want to be around us. It's sad, but I am not lonely. Fortunately I have one friend - also on the spectrum - who is able to both see & hear me (a great relief after 70 years).