"Attention to detail". 🤦🏻‍♂️ So sick of this "autists are brilliant" BS. It's a handicap, not a superpower. NTs talk to each other all the time without saying hello. Talking to someone at the store ir in an elevator does not require formal introductions. Gender nonconformity is a very general description when the bigger issue is non-comptehension of gender fundamentally. Autistic people came up with all those insane "xenogenders" like "bluegender", "dolphingender' or "autismgender". This is plainly a lack of comprehension of the core concept. Overexplaining to people is tiresome. Both of my parents do that and its extremely draining for everyone they talk to. Its just self-absorbed. If you need to talk something out to process it, do it when youre alone. Other people do not exist as vehicles for your own self-discovery. Most folks have their own problems, which is why we try to not overburden others. Autistic people are not more flexible, and you actually explained why. Cluelessness is not fkexibility. Rigidity is not flexibility. One trait you didnt mention- the tendency to assume anything they do is highly logical and practical- like your "probably" thing. Nothing about doing that makes it any easier or clearer for anyone. Youre just swapping a single word around. My mom has this annoying habit of always assuming Her way is The Best way, and rarely bothering to explain her exoectations. Then she gets upset when reality diverges from her expectations. It's ridiculously annoying, and only gets worse as she ages.

I made the exact same experience and it was / is really hard for me. I just can't let go of people and not care anymore how they're doing. Accepting my friendships the way they are right now was a big step, after that you can decide which ones are worth keeping.

Someone told me "I understand you don't SEE people's emotions". Someone told me "You should try harder to be a better person and fix your issues (?) so that other people don't soffer or feel uncomfortable for your behaviour" Someone told me "you shouldn't try to please people at any cost" but also "you shouldn't ask me to to support you whenever you need help". Someone told me "everyone has their problems ". I'm already trying my best for each of this sentences. .. And I actually SEE and FEEL way to many emotions. I would gift some of them, if I could. All the rest would get much easier right away.

Ha ha yeah unfortunately I've been there done that and got the t shirt!

I know I commented already but to add again: I really appreciate hearing someone talk about being autistic and reading into subtle social nuances. Often the stereotype is that we can’t do that and so when I get fixated on these things, I feel like I’m not really autistic and my diagnosis is a lie and I’m a big faker. Hearing you say that this is not only normal but common enough to create an in depth video on really makes me feel better

I often feel like people roll their eyes at my so called “sensitive nature” when it comes to rejection. The reality of being autistic is one of constant rejection. That’s what made me notice I was different. I often think “damn I wouldn’t want to talk to me either” so I don’t blame anyone for how I feel. I do wish though that more people recognized how damaging and serious it can be to have more bad interactions than good ones and struggle with constant rejection. From the outside it doesn’t seem that harmful but I think if any neurotypical lived a life of constantly feeling unwanted and unacceptable, they’d be just as upset. In ADHD spaces they talk a lot about the dysphoria part and I never really found it relatable because for me these incidences are really happening and not just a matter of perception. Everywhere I go, I become the one that people don’t want to interact with anymore. Coworkers and friends lose interest and eventually go silent on me and it feels very isolating.

Wow this is like you read my mind!

Yeah it took me year's to be able to sack people off and not feel guilty afterwards despite that fact that they'd systematically hurt or exploited me for years beforehand because unfortunately the longer you let it happen the move entitled they feel to treating us that way and then act like you're the one who did them over by not being their physical and emotional punchbag in the name of friendship or whatever! It doesn't have to make sense and no one else has to give you the permission but understand that if you wouldn't treat them as badly as they're happy to routinely treat you then it's probably better to sack them off and move on before you start acting like them towards other people that don't deserve it as usally the outcome of the frustration of the situation

I used be more honest, but when realising thats not what people wanted my script became: Cashier: Hello, how are you? Me: Good. Cashier: Oh, that's good. Me: Yep. (usually silence, sometimes unreciprocated small talk) Cashier: Well have a lovely day. Me: Thank you. (leaves) I remember when I worked retail I was instructed into asking how their day was. Because my script was "Hello. (Scan items for total) That will be nineteen dollars and ninety-five cents. (Handle money) Here is your five cents change. Thank you. Goodbye." My thoughts when asked to ask people "how are you?" were straight to: no that doesn't make sense, it's not optimal, why would I ask that when I don't like people asking me that, I want quick efficient service so people are in and out without being held up. I even brought that last point up which was met with laughter and I was further instructed to slow down because I was apparently talking really fast and scanning items as quick as humanly possible. I added it to my script though because they were the manager. But I had so many times where I was getting frustrated because some people use it as an excuse to brag, or rant, or talk about their kids and I wasnt listening, I was just anticipating the money they would hand me so I could work out change in advanced. And then they could leave. One day an elderly guy responded with "I was hit by a car" and I panicked and was like "do you need medical assistance? Would you like my chair to sit on?" And then he laughed and said "Oh no, I'm fine, it happened 7 years ago and it only grazed me". I just stared at him with my thoughts running crazy trying to understand why he would tell me this. It stuck with me with weeks, I asked everyone why he would tell me this story. After hearing other people's opinions I came to the conclusion that he was lonely and the most interesting thing to happen to him in 7 years was being hit by a car. And that just made me sad. And that's why I hate a disingenuous "how are you"

uh...i have 23 of them. hating socks is a big thing for me. i straight up REFUSE to wear socks.

OMG it took until age 60 for me to get to the idea that it was right/ethical/not mean to stop being friends with someone ie ghost them & move on. What’s really weird is that this is also true with groups I have joined like book clubs or volunteer groups or church communities. Please address ditching groups because it’s harder because some people in the group are worthwhile but the few who make you miserable make it so you are forced to lose the good people (and they feel hurt that you left the group).

This is so helpful for me! I have played competitive tennis, my whole life, my parents put a lot of money into lessons, I was on the high school team. My strokes were very good and I enjoyed playing, but I had such trouble winning, psychologically. If I saw the other person on the other side of the net was having a down day, I would throw the match. I had never correlated it with the possibility of losing friendships. But I think that’s exactly right. I’m 66 years old. I’m so glad to learn this.

At this point, I would only want a formal diagnosis for enforceable accommodations. At the same time, my fears are that I would waste time and money for something not likely to make much difference. I also have trauma surrounding the very act of "getting help" so I really don't like the idea of relying on something that has not only failed me, but actually harmed me.

I laughed out loud with "I'm not good at playing the trumpet," not that I would ever earn a "Your'e good at everything" label. Kudos though, for coming up with any solution at a young age.

The analogy you used: a 10% charge every day really hit. A lot of this did, but that one especially.

I got 25..

The so clever so stupid part is actually me 😭

The older one gets, the worse mental illnesses get. My soon to be ex-husband has regressed significantly in the past 6 years, despite an enormous amount of effort and interventions from me and his family. He overeats, is morbidly obese, gets zero exercise, is a recluse, and is a severe gaming addict. He has lost what few friends he had, and now he's losing me, his wife. A word of caution to anyone considering entering into a serious relationship or marriage with someone who is autistic: Please, please carefully consider your future with this person. People with mental illness get worse over time. Not better. You will soon find yourself alone but with responsibility of carrying the entire load for two people. And if you have children, you will find yourself solely responsible for the childcare, raising, household maintenance, etc. Just don't do it. Take it from someone who has wasted 12 years married to an autistic man. Get out while you can. You can't help them. You can't save them.

Is the same for ADD? I've found so many similarities between ADHD and Autism that I am completely confused .

Were you diagnosed by a listened physician? And its notnbecause of your video but others. The spectrum is not properly analyzed regulated,and therefore not Conclusive especially on the higher functioning end cuz. where I stand my 4 year old daughter is very autistic...has been diagnosed and tbh this guy seems like your average well balanced healthy human. I wouldn't know he had autism unless he told me...and I guess because it fills a void or spreads awareness and not bring vain. I will say this guy seems genuine If I or someone else without autism or any other numerological disorder or condition can socialize and interact with you at length and not pick up that your autistic then I think

I feel like for women hormonal changes influenced things.

Thank you.this explains a lot when we're ignored.

Omg, the amount of things.....😅😂 The list of numbers I related to, because it's quicker than listing the actual things: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 32, 35, 37, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 49, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 62, 63

Though I very much experience this, and don't follow my own advice, but semi-regular exercise does increase energy levels.

This - I think in the last 2 years I’ve eased up on that - idk why I was trying to be so hard to be friends with and liked by absolutely everyone (my parents instilled in me I had to be I guess)

This is exactly true.

Life-fear: Because when you're in that state of worrying to the max whether you've done a perfect, mega-wonderful job you are so stressed out that you can't really find the tranquility to enjoy the beauty of the moment, and then when you fail and fall to the grey depths of despairing mediocrity, you are suddenly calm enough to aspire to greater and greater excellence through your calmness, turning once again into hyper-vigilance with increasing levels of stress and anxiety to produce something truly magnificent which makes the cycle repeat itself endlessly. You want to achieve and live life to the fullest so much that you lead a non-life through life-fear. I'm talking about myself. Myself as an autistic person (Aspberger's Syndrome).

This is exactly me. It's me right now watching this video.

Life-fear

yes, it's much worse when you have an expectation which isn't aligned with reality 💕

We’ve raised all our kids (NT and ND alike) to be the individuals they were created to be. As long as they’re kind and considerate of others they can be whoever and act however they want. You never know what others are going through and having a reputation of being courteous can go a long way for how much patience others will have for you when you need others to be considerate of you.

Paul-thanks for being your authentic self and truth 💣 bombs to keep us moving forward 🎉heard of a workbook called the unmasking workbook for autistic adult 👍🏼 you might find it useful ❤

when i was around 4 years old half of my class was bullying me and somehow got the teachers to believe that i was the one bullying them

Finally! I was a ghost for a year now not being able to do anything I usually enjoyed. Now I get it whats wrong at what the catalyst was a year ago. Thanks for opening my mind and helping me see

tested the friendship* and realised it was never what you thought / hoped it would be . . . indeed.

I had CBT for my depression and I hated it. After a few years of hard recovery, i developed PTSD (unrelated to the depression) and got referred to CBT for that as well, and I started the sessions by saying ‘I do not want this’ and my therapist did a different method, but under the guise of CBT because otherwise I would have had to ‘try CBT’ first and then try something else when it inevitably didn’t work It’s annoying that it’s the default regardless of previous effectiveness

This is very relatable

4 months ago, the confluence of trauma and life crisis triggered the discovery that I am autistic. With 52 years old of not consciously knowing it and that I was masking, I think I have been in a moderate burnout for a long time... My partner curiously told me exactly what you mentioned...I hope it will not be an excuse....Be aware to not lose your personality... Well, I have being very careful on how to express myself about it, and mindful that its also difficult for him to see me after 20 years as a person with autism. But, I don't understand "I hope it will not be an excuse" remark.... What does it mean?? 😕😒 Lately, I notice that my autistic traits are getting more visible, and that triggers my new awareness of masking... But now I know 🙂 Thank you so much for this wonderful channel and for the validation!

One of my friends has only 1% energy. That person used tobe able to use more power but not anymore.

first question and I'm autistic 🫤

This guy sucks poor info he keeps popping up on my feed

Thank you. This video has really helped. I have self tested. I don't know what tests "professionals" give in Australia, so am not sure the Dr. in the U.S. uses the same materials. I await my results. The tests I took were, to me, a little strange.

Hi, I'm procrastinating watching this video, I have to study for an exam but I'm struggling!!

Great video, thank you ❤

I have faith you can heal- stop rejecting healing - stop rejecting yourself

When mum was slive and i was her carer i was extremely hyper vigilant had obsesdion shout fire starting at night that soon begone sn ocd. I was obsessed with me dying before mum thankfully that didnt hsppen mum fied in 2014 i was then obsessed about domrone getyongbin and attacking me i didnt realise this was huper vigilance snd paronia. I have now brrn diagnosed eith bpd explains hyper vigilance and autidm

I recently found out about my autism spectrum, and I decided to look more into it by watching your videos. It was the BEST decision in my life. A lot of things make sense now... You perfectly describe what's going on inside my brain, and now I see what may have been the breaking points of my unsuccessful social communications and relationships specifically. Thank you so much for breaking it down, your videos really help me to understand myself and they give incredibly constructive advice!

I THINK YOU ARE GRASPING AT STRAWS WITH SOME OF THESE TRAITS. I might have had rhubarb at my Grannie last night and now I'm autistic because that is what comes to mind. This is really a misleading channel.

I need to learn how to prevent and anticipate shutdowns, withdrawal and meltdowns. They are big problems for me :( I'm so tired of this hard mode in life.

sitting here crying. the analogy with the athlete, i needed that. i will use this in the future.