Aspies don't have emotions...???

[@TheBeausean]

I think you ought to get an Oscar for this performance. Not for acting, but for being yourself and pouring your heart out. Its kind of like a reverse Oscar where instead of someone acting on screen they break free of the neurotypical self that they put on and act themselves. A very daring move in this age of narcissism and deceit. As a reverse Oscar it should be called the Racso. The Racso awards will take place every year after the Oscars in Hollywood, MD and give credence to those who broke through the Aspie expectations thrust upon them to be daring enough to be themselves. This really was a beautiful video by the way.

[@waterwatereverywhere]

This is my life. Now I am 42, and the days where I don't have the energy to "pass" have become the normal state, sadly. Autistic burnout, it happens to us, the more "high-functioning" we seemed the more likely it is. So people think I've gone crazy or suddenly become "more" Autistic or am going down the tubes because I'm too depressed to function like I once did--really I'm just too damned tired. I've been told at work that they want the old me back, and in the context of "get cheerful again or your job is in jeopardy." Well, sorry, that person wasn't real, it was a big heavy complex puppet I was holding in front of me and manipulating. She wasn't sustainable, I had to drop her and now she doesn't exist anymore. This is me now, so sorry to disappoint, I'm back to being the kid all the other kids mocked and ostracized. I hope to find a "new normal" that is sustainable and closer to genuine without being unemployable; maybe I will be able to, maybe I won't. My advice to younger Aspies pouring all their energy into passing is to divert some of that energy to creating a sustainable version of yourself for when you can't fake it anymore. Don't wait until you are over 40 and no longer know what is really you and what is something you took on to make people like you or at least leave you in peace. Thank you for making this, it expresses what I cannot express verbally, the thank you/fuck you feeling of being told I can't be Aspie, that I am really high functioning (by people who don't see me when I'm alone!).

[@Noemie291]

❤

[@DeathRisiing]

I don't know why a person would accuse another with Aspergers of being emotionless and unnatural. This entire video, I saw nothing but sadness in your eyes, you can hear it in your voice-- and it caused me to cry. You sound like such an immensely strong woman, and that is commendable.

[@michellenevers-grow7612]

Thank you for making this video. My Grandson who is 6 has Asbergers. Anytime I can read or hear how other Aspies deal helps me to understand Jacob even more. There is nothing we would change about him. He is bright, funny, kind and caring. I look at his little quirks as just a part of who he is - it does not define him, it is just one more layer of what makes him, him. He has a wonderful teacher this year who understands and works to make him feel awesome. He is in 1st grade and works as a tutor for the 2nd and 3rd-grade students. When his brain starts spinning (his explanation) his teacher finds a project that will totally enthrall him and keep him occupied. His concentration is amazing. Our hope is that he excepts his difference and knows that it is okay. I don't know that any of us are "normal", I just know that my little guy is unique, wonderful and fascinating.

[@richardwharton590]

It took a lot of courage to even think about making that video! Thank you!

[@scottsummers5751]

I must not be well-Functioning then, nevermind that I go out frequently, Have lots of friends, Hold down two jobs, have my own apartment. I have to put on a bit of a filter when I'm with my friends sometimes, but I do not and will not conform for the sake of acceptance. When I go out on my own, I've got my headphones on, I jam out, Air Guitar, dance around etc. I do agree with your one point, Only people with Asperger's can truly understand the behavior of others with the syndrome.

[@Takedownman]

Thank you! Someone needed to say it!

[@BJKage]

I have pretended for years and than suddenly my butteries just ren dry and I broke up took me two years to fight those depressions. I do not pretend anymore, I still have severe depressions I am aspie and it just belongs to it. So hell I´m finally me

[@abetrasken]

I'm with you on that one my friend. I'm 26 and was diagnosed just recently. My life till then was just the most confusing mess you can imagine. After the end of a long-term relationsip with an NT (during which I became more isolated from others), I suddenly found myself in an echo chamber of my past, feeling like I had no sense of self, that it left when she did, that everything I thought was myself or my 'personality', was just a lie that I built for her and others. I was at the point of losing my mind, and had convinced myself that I must be a sociopath, because I was realizing that I just didn't experience what other people did, that I didn't feel what they SEEMED to feel (probably due to my own ignorance/misconceptions, I never even considered AS as a possibiity), and they all suddenly seemed like aliens to me. The diagnosis was a huge relief, and made me realize that just because I didn't act like NTs, that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me. Althought I was always naturally contrarian (to the extreme even), up until that point I had constantly been modifying myself and "acting" to try and fit in and gain the approval of others, because unlike a lot of aspies I'm emotionally dependent on them. But I'm now at a point where I finally feel comfortable, and proud, of who I am, and don't feel the need to act any more (which, like you say, is exhausting). Don't ever get depressed about it, the fact that you are consciously aware of your intentions and actions - and that you can finally be YOU - is a gift, one that most people will never have access to.

[@ixchelarevalo276]

You are a beautiful and strong woman. Thank you for sharing yourself and your story for someone who might be looking for someone to relate to. Or someone to voice the words that they have the inability to find. Thank you so much.

[@emilyrose5313]

I am a 16yrs Aspie and as for myself your videos help me know someone understands. Bravo girl for this video!

[@LegalizeBudMan]

Emily Kanter No one understands "aspies" because they have no desire to understand the world. It's a two way streak, shawty.

[@emilyrose5313]

LegalizeBudMan Yeah...errr...ummm....no.

[@jawafreak230]

Emily Kanter Im a 19 yr old aspie dude in Americuh, and I can so relate 2 many things she said when she was younger. im rly high functioning and can socialize well for a while with individuals but am often In a mess in larger groups. ive grown out of most of my xtreme interests xcept 4 starwars basically. if u have difficulty hdidng ur Asperger's u need to essentially act, like rehearsing in front of ur mirror. the more u train urself to be normal, u will. Xp

[@swagkoning617]

I'm an aspie too and i feel that neurotypicals are fake, we need to act in order to keep up because they "act" naturally. We really say whats really on our minds but they try to be "nice" but what they do is actually lying to make people feel good and that's hard for us. It's sad that a lot of aspies get to cope with these frustrations but i don't want to act ,so i don't. if they can't take it and judge me, i will do things they don't notice because they have a hard time reading us aswell.

[@mertvok8179]

Your energy is so pure, thank you

[@daveharkin4731]

I write this with tears in my eyes because I totally understand you. I have aspergers too and I had a really hard life coping. I too have learned to imitate neuro typicals. I think it burns us out thinking as deep as we do, that's why we have days where we feel we cannot cope due to exhaustion. Aspies do have emotions they can be really heightened, I have very strong feelings and emotions and I hurt more than neuro typicals, like to thank you for helping me to come to terms with my syndrome, I denied it for many years, you've helped me to see the power of our brain, we see things that other people cannot see, that makes us very powerful,Einstein was an aspies and many other great people too. Thank you for your videos.

[@ryanhunter226]

I'm an Aspie too and I don't really have emotions like love compassion or affection. I was never shown how to feel like this and people hate me for something they didn't show me. people have been nasty to me and I only really feel hatred. people like Hitler are said to have Aspergers and he was abused and driven to hatred. we aspies(not all) are cruel because others have been cruel to us. cruel People create cruel people. I am called heartless but I do love animals ... I guess.

[@internationalmanofmystery6798]

@@ryanhunter226 What of Ceausescu and Pol pot?

[@chrisherbert2461]

The trouble with the world is that people who don't understand people with autism or aspergers treat them badly. When I was a school I used to get picked because I used to be on my own, the other kids called me horrible names too.

[@internationalmanofmystery6798]

I Feel sorry for what happened to you

[@Digitalman271]

Old or not, this is one of the most relatable, emotionally enriching, raw, and honest videos I've seen. Seeing a human being actually express themselves this way is actually overwhelming. Thanks for keeping it up!

[@amandacarman8324]

I watch this video and i see so much of myself in you that it is crazy. Being an aspie can really suck sometimes. It is hard. So thank you for putting up these videos. From one aspie to another.

[@naromellow]

I know this is an old video... but I still feel the need to express that I can relate to this, 100%. You have no idea how nice it is to come across another female Aspie who's, seemingly, going through the exact same thing that I am going through. This video made me all teary eyed... :c

[@magustx]

I know exactly what you mean by imitating neurotypical people. I feel like I was born an empty slate and must watch other humans closely to imitate their behavior

[@justaduck3615]

Thank you for opening yourself to us. I was never good at faking emotions and am not to this day. I kind of always have this neutral face and most people think of me as a nonfealing jerk. It also makes it hard to make friends. I'm sure you have felt this way atleast once in your life. You would probably still be like that if you couldn't act the way you do I hope you don't have to have those weeks one day. Also merry cristmas.

[@proclaimtruth2]

Thank you for sharing and being so transparent. I have recently found out that my 3 year old son may have Asperger's. You're an amazing person and so humble that you don't even realize it, but that is what makes you so special. You are truly more real than most people I know.

[@proclaimtruth2]

My 3 year old son will be tested for Asperger's soon. Can you give me some advice on how to interact with him in a way that would benefit him the most?

[@AnAutisticPsychologist]

Donna Thompson Well... I could give you a very long list of books that would give you more comprehensive advice.. (Actually, I should sit down and compile lists for my channel page. I'll make a note of that.) But the most important piece of advice I give parents is: Chill out. The more you worry, the worse it will get. "They" say we don't have empathy, but a remarkably high number of us get "infected" by the emotions of others to a very high degree - which means that very likely, if you're stressed out and worried, your son will get stressed out. This will give you more to worry about, and the cycle never ends. Be there to catch him if he needs you to, but don't remove obstacles too much - we have to learn at the pace that we can, this gives us failures in life but also successes, and those give confidence. He will need that to be happy. (It all ties into one..) So chill out and keep your eyes on the goal, that your son will have a happy life, whatever that is for him. He'll be alright.

[@proclaimtruth2]

Thank you so much for responding and for your advice! I have in fact noticed that when I am the slightest upset about something he notices and internalizes it. Yes, Aspie's do have empathy and sympathy as I have witnessed in my son. Your KZbin video's really caught my attention when I was looking for someone to connect with that was similar to my son so that I could try to connect with him. It's amazing how the "look" out of your eyes is strikingly similar to the "look" from within my child's eyes. I commend you for putting yourself out there on KZbin in order to help people and their families work through Asperger's. Even though you are "acting" most times, always remember that the eyes are the window to the soul and truly yours is beautiful! :)

[@tomdavies6443]

Donna Thompson Hi :) Sometimes physical contact hurts or is embarrassing or confusing. So can eye-contact or tooo much attention or trying to force communication. It's probably instinctive for you to reach out and hug a lot but sometimes that makes things worse. If it seems to be making things worse then just back off either a lot or just a bit. If you've only backed of a little bit then maybe look away to give him more space. If that seems to work and you feel more contact is needed then maybe hold his hand or put your hand on his back or some other smaller contact like that. Some of the best times i enjoyed most with my parents was when they were sitting quietly reading and i was quietly getting on with my own thing. The quiet companionship was really soothing and it felt like the strongest bond between us all. Very occasionally one or other would chortle quietly or make a noise that indicates they'd found something interesting but they'd only read it out-loud if asked. It felt good that they had other worlds of their own too and let me be at peace in mine. On the other hand sometimes i crave physical contact and don't know how to ask for it or worry that it's going to be difficult to disengage or worry that i'll be asking for too much or for too long. Sometimes a close friend puts his hand on my shoulder and it feels really strongly supportive. Other times i jump a mile. Regards from Tom :)

[@proclaimtruth2]

@Tom Davies Thank you so very much for your practical advice for ways to connect with my son! It was just what I needed to hear to confirm that I'm on track and in tune with him. Most of what you have described about your experience with companionship is similar to what my son seems to be inadvertently telling me. I just love to sit and be absorbed in his world. Oh, and he loves to hold my hand!:) Do you have a blog that I could subscribe to that could give me some more insight into the life of Asperger's.

[@richardvalvona1159]

I think your video is really good actually. I am too an Aspie and have gone through a few Aspie videos and some people seem to make them without any planning, but I do like your slower and more simplistic style despite you having to think a lot of what to say. It's very refreshing to see someone who doesn't pretend to have too much going on in their lives and can actually show me a glimpse of them expressing how they really feel without trying to put a positive spin on it. I have had people in the past (the few people I mention it to) being surprised when I say that I have it and that even includes one person who has worked with people with autism and they talked as if I could've been making it up. Just like you, I seem to be seem "normal", but at the same time feel like I am judged by them when compared to how I see them relate to other people. And too, I withdraw from people completely at times including family but it's usually for two or three days after being too exposed publically. Unlike you though, I do go out at those down-times but to places people are less likely to be often in the woods or down the beach. Are you in the middle of a city? I guess that could a factor for you staying in completely as you always have to get through tonnes of people to go anyway. I may be wrong though. Anyway, I would like to say more but don't want to overwhelm you with too much at one time.

[@WhateverYuotuber]

Thank you sharing us ...👍 No person in this world is perfect...! So be positive in your life.. There are many good people around you.. Bad moments are going to fly away... Remember there are many people suffering from "cancer,can't see,cant walk or cant hear...etc " ......feel your life ...its very short..!!! 🌹🌹🌹

[@melloroom7510]

This is just...this is my entire existence

[@freerubbertramp]

I just wanted to say thankyou to you for making this video, I have been married to an aspie for three years now and wow has it been a hard ride for us as we didnt know ntill the last few days, I just thought my beautiful wife was being cold and as you say like a robot, she wouldnt talk to me she just shut off to me and gets so upset and angry if I try to explain how I feel and talk to her and thinks im having a go at her, I now understand so much more thanks to your honesty and taking the time to do what you have done to help others. It will give me the strength to understand her more and love her without expertations when she feels very low. thankyou your an amazing woman and have helped me alot.

[@macmasterentertainment9484]

You know, you are my inspiration. i can relate to so much you've shown on youtube and i'm glad that there are persons like you on this globe who make it easier for other persons with asperger's syndrome because we have somebody we can relate to. i really hope you keep making video's because you inspire me to become a better person.

[@cjozie]

Thank you for these vids. You dont realize how it does help some ppl. You do what is therapeutic for you cuz when you do that then you are in good position to help others. Keep strong always dear friend.

[@InfernalMonsoon]

I'm not sure if it's asperger's sydrome that I suffer from but having any kind of autism in my opinion is difficult to have, but just like any other human being we have emotions and feelings just like anyone else. When I was younger my autism really showed and it still does to this day and I'm 19 and it really fucking hurts when people keep on telling us that we don't have the disability and it pains and angers me whenever people say that because they don't have a damn clue the kind of crap we go through. A lot of the time, I'm proud to have this disability but sometimes I just feel like crap because so many people misunderstand me and that's somewhat ruined my relationships with old girlfriends and what-not - and that's where I struggle, relationships and meeting people. Especially after believing I found the right one, despite the promises we made together only to have her break up with me and move on with someone else within a week after, but y'know the friendzone is great too because it's not like I hear that time after time. If anything, we are more emotionally prone compared to normal people because we have to put up with our disability every single day without a break, sometimes it helps us, sometimes it hurts us. And people never see us for who we are and what we have because too many people in this world are shallow and ignorant to look deeply in who we are as people. I'm proud to be an autistic person and this is coming from someone who suffers from a major inferiority complex but I just wish people would finally just fucking understand me and others who have the same thing for once.

[@roopepirunpaa-konttiori6552]

This is one of those videos that i cant like enough! I grew up in environment that always told me that i was the problem, that i was the freak! For shrinks it never was "how do you feel"? They really told me that i had no feelings, so it was more like "oh, you feel bad"? " well, you don`t really". I know it isn't really like that anymore, but that past mentality still haunts me to this day.

[@chrisherbert2461]

You seem a nice kind hearted person, just don't let people make you down, be strong in yourself.

[@ptrck99]

This is great, I never thought I would hear someone else talking about being such a great actress for years, and being completely honest about it. Thanks a lot for doing this and uploading this.

[@DanS8204]

This is very moving, and I truly appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable about your feelings, observations, and experiences. Thank you so much for your courage, your honesty, your compassion, your insight, and your wisdom.

[@ThomasBolt]

I can immensely relate to what you are going through. My eighteenth birthday is right around the corner and while I don't have a diagnosis to confirm I have aspergers, it is highly likely I do. I never show much emotion around my peers, and as a result mainly when I was a kid people always took advantage of me, making fun of me, making jokes to me because they new I couldn't take jokes or sarcasm, (results of aspergers). They always assumed I didn't have emotions. It was torture.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

It's ridiculous when people say that people with Asperger's syndrome are supposed to be emotionless! That's not true at all! I have Asperger's and I am like a whirlwind of emotions (not in a bad way though, just a little more sensitive than most people). Once during one of my classes in middle school, a class that taught you independent skills and other stuff, my teacher asked us to raise our hands if we knew anyone who was autistic or had other forms of it like Asperger and I raised my hand first. She called on me and asked me who I knew and I simply pointed at myself. Everyone was totally shocked and taken off guard because they didn't see any supposedly "common" signs of it in me. I didn't even know that most people thought people with my disability were supposedly "emotionless" until high school.

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) There is a lot more variety between people on the spectrum than there is between different neurotypicals. Also there are many different 'conditions' that don't fit into the limited range of NT ways. Plus NTs have no urgent and pressing need to learn about non-NTs. So i think we have to forgive them for not understanding. As they are the ones missing out on some amazing people's insights i think we should pity them too - and also pity them for being scared of anything or anyone slightly different from them. However, that doesn't mean tolerating bullies! Regards from Tom :)

[@Midnight3Wonder]

NT? What's that?

[@tomdavies6443]

SilverDreamFirefly NT = neurotypical Sometimes people use it to mean "people who are not aspie-autism". I think that was the original usage. But it really should be more general than that. It should mean people who are "normal" (whatever THAT means), neurologically typical of the general population. There are a lot of neurological conditions, some temporary and some hard-wired, that kinda excludes them from being neurologically typical of society at large. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurotypical musingsofanaspie.com/2013/01/10/what-is-neurotypical/ isnt.autistics.org/ So the way i use it in the more general way might be slightly different from the way most aspie-auties use it. Regards from Tom :)

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Oh, thanks. I've never heard of that before, so I was a little confused. Now that I know what it means, I'm glad I'm not NT!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

Hey! Don't be hater!

[@chayerradi4063]

Exhausted from pretending.

[@vaughanthayer2566]

again thank you, I get this frustration. I police myself so much to fit in, it's refreshing and gives me hope to see someone whom shares the view I have. Thank you for being strong

[@ozzy3ml]

Wow, this is strong stuff. Thank you for not removing the video. My wife and I have recently started realising that most likely she as well as two of our teen kids are aspies. What you describe here is vital knowledge. Your videos are a very important resource, thank you so much!

[@51elephantchang]

Female aspies are skilled actors,unlike males who are more likely to become outcasts as genuineness seems more important to them.

[@spark300c]

in my experience the one still act like genuineness in there 20s are nt aspies. male feelers in there 20 do develop there feeling side. this makes it hard to know how bad they have it.

[@51elephantchang]

spark300c Sorry I've no idea what you are trying to say.

[@spark300c]

I was going off mbti. nt stand for intuitive thinkers.

[@51elephantchang]

spark300c English please I don't understand gibberish!

[@spark300c]

peter nicholson I am dyslexic. plus that typical atheist comment.

[@MrSeamus66]

I've been wondering how to say these exact things to people but it always sounded so stupid in my head. Now that I know that at least one other person (on the other side of the world yeah?) who has the exact same viewpoint on the shear workload involved in expressing emotions, I feel validated. I know how difficult it was and thank you.

[@mariacovasneanu1517]

I really wish we'd live in a world where people accept others as they are, where compassion and forgiveness pervades and where people don't assume all sorts of nasty things because one's behaviour doesn't meet their expectations.

[@sophieandrea5008]

This video is on point, it actually made me cry due to the fact that I'm also an aspie and got diagnosed a few weeks ago. I've never watched something that I have related with so much in my entire life and I thank you for making this video.

[@MarkRose1337]

I'm glad you put this video back up.

[@microdrone]

You are brilliant. This has given me tremendous insight on my son, the generation of behaviors to become more a part of the social norm. I am on the spectrum, though my shortcomings have always been very specific, and many don't affect the face I show the world. This video really triggered a lot of very useful self questions about how my mind compartmentalizes my attention and emotions. Self awareness is one of the greatest and most useful gifts the brain can acquire. :)

[@SomeThingsAreNice]

I'm pretty certain I have aspergers (I have always known I did, never needed many friends, played with animals instead etc) and I can relate to this girl so much, especially the part about life being a stage and having to pretend you don't have 100,000,000 observations per second and things are going through your head constantly that no one else seems to be picking up on. When I was little my sister used to say she wanted to dissect my brain because I was so different. And she would tell me that I was a psychopath when I was 4. I don't know why I still care for her so much.

[@SitaraAleu]

Are we related or something?? I feel like I'm looking at a written mirror!!

[@AnAutisticPsychologist]

Profanity can be used as a form of expression. Add to that, in my country, english curse words are commonly used to add a "I really mean this"-dimension to whatever you're saying, when speaking amongst people up to around age 40 or so. So, I'm not "hiding behind profanity". I use it to express how I feel. There's quite a difference. But I appreciate the feedback, and you sharing your experiences. Have a nice day.

[@Drholyangel]

Bravo! Thank you for your honesty and frankness. As a fellow Aspie that frequently "passes" for NT, I appreciate the stress and strain of the effort you make every day. It's damned hard, and NTs thinking that you're "normal" is, as you say, something of a compliment, and something of an insult. Blessings to you, and to all the Aspies who struggle every day in this world that doesn't make sense.

[@mellissandra]

today there was a bad,very bad and incorrect radio broadcast about autism, i'm so gratefull that you have made this video, i've connected it in my blog, and linked in my over 400 people support group, for aspies, teachers, assistens, parents...your words WILL SAVE many young children

[@AnAutisticPsychologist]

@sam frost "Aspie" means "person with asperger's syndrome". I hope that clears it up for you :)

[@crowclockwork5383]

this is the first time i've heard this word used for asperger's and i like it more than 'Asperger's syndrome' or 'Autism spectrum disorder', so thanks for teaching me a nice word for it

[@The25thBusShow]

***** Troll detected.

[@SotiCoto]

I hate that word. I hate most of the "accepted" aut-community words. "Aspies"? .... Puh-lease. Most days I'm Aspergian. When I'm feeling whimsical, I'm a Changeling. But I'd never resort to the common terms. If anyone gets an "ies" end.... give it to the mundane people. "NTs" indeed... pffft. They're just mundies. Low-minded sociophiles.

[@GamerGal2461]

+SotiCoto whoa, okay, no need to insult other NTs, please.

[@SotiCoto]

***** There is no need for mundies to do half the disruptive crap they do either... but they carry on doing it. Dishing it back at them a little is cathartic.

[@EllaChinois]

I always wished I could had been telepathic when I was younger (even when I was 16). Simply because I didn't/don't understand people. The other way around people say I am too mystical and unpredictable. Last year I sorta broke up a friendship with a friend (who I was befriended with for six years). She simply told me, "You don't understand people at all.You don't even know what others expect you to say in conversations.You are not as good as you think you are.That is why you fail all the time." She broke my heart. I felt depressed for a whole week.I haven't felt that hurtful for a long time. The ironic part is she was specialized in autism when she was in college and it is a part of her job to work with autistic kids now. People could be so cruel...and they don't know it.

[@MISTAKEWASMADE4live]

I feel you, its hard being in this world without people to love or to be loved by, or knowing that you might never really be able to make close friends, to never really be accepted or have intimate relationships, but its ok.I'm very charming or "hot" and I'm not smart but intelligent I guess is the correct word hence I mostly knew my parameters and how to understand people so I never had you'r situation but I know how you feel it hurts so much when you don't know what to do about them or what to say or even what to expect about people, I find a lot of time they just talked about hogwash(not British BTW reading Harry Potter does that) and mediocre subjects, gossips and either I didn't know what to say or ran out of things to say or I simply wasn't interest in their conversation, had bad anxiety and awkwardness unless I just stopped feeling emotions which is awful and I hate eye contact I never understood why people would ever do it its uncomfortable, anyway its extremely hard to have relationships when you can't even talk I never ended up not having any real friends, I cried when I had to do oral reports for most of my middle school among many embarrassing social death sentences but I guess here in the tropics people are more sensitive and they didn't gossip or anything of the sorts or ignore me(mostly because I was charming).About you're friend, I think you were what inspired her to be that, remember that nobody is perfect like you might not have understood her she might not have though about it much either and maybe since you were her friend and she didn't understand you she wanted to make things better and help out other Aspies, its not a bad thing if anything you should try and reconnect, I know it sounds ridicules but its worth a try she will use your assistance a lot, no fish is ever caught by staying off the shore.If you wanna understand more about Autism watch some documentaries called "Genie the wild child(or something like that)" , "Children of Darkness" and an episode of born Schizophrenic starting January Schoshfield, these aren't directly related to Autism but they help understand it better I must warn you they are very long, almost boring and Children of Darkness has a lot of screaming but their all very artistic, I would ramble on and on and on but its pretty dark and im sleepy so Ima talk to you tomorrow, hugs and kisses, I love you, I know that's kinda weird since I've never met you but I really do just because were Aspies and have the same experiences and such, so yes I love you(hugs).

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) People get overwhelmed sometimes and lash out. Often they lash out at the one person they feel closest to and who they need the most. It's one of the reversals that NTs do without realising they are doing it. It's difficult to cope with. Sarcasm is difficult enough but this sort of thing is painful. It might be a good time to try to get back in contact. If you have already tried then maybe try again. Sometimes they need a bit of prodding before they come back. He/she is probably very embarrassed so maybe avoid talking about the break-up and just talk about normal things or remind them of good things you have done together in the past. I'm not good with people either but someone recently has been trying to teach me how to be a friend and she was really good at this sort of thing. I think my advice is what she would have said. Errr, i need to take that advice too of course! Good luck and regards from Tom :)

[@marcallencastro7789]

***** are you saying that to be funny ? because it isn't

[@tomdavies6443]

Marc A. Castro Hi :) I think we are supposed to be impressed at how clever Jonas is in terms of stirring up comments to make him famous. Trolling is an art form and takes a lot of practice. Jonas obviously needs a bit more work. Regards from Tom :)

[@MrErb4life]

Keep Spreading the word, as I have Aspergers and I have to deal with ignorant people all the time

[@MrErb4life]

HOWEVER! The HAVE A GREAT DAY quote is kind of a turn off to me. So difficulties understanding if it's sarcasm or not. but yeah now you know

[@MrErb4life]

ONE REASON why my ex-girlfriend dumped me, and she was an ASPIE as well. 99% of the society ain't gonna understand anything. No matter how hard we try to explain, they will always chose to reject and be proud of their arrogance and stupidity, just because it makes em feel good about themselves. and from your views they go fuck themselves if they have negative thoughts or can't accept the facts of life.

[@tinfoilhatnews7489]

You are smart, hard working and gifted. What people don't understand is how people with Aspergers feel. Socializing is difficult more than others. As a person with Aspergers I feel like I must were a mask.

[@ralph5898]

Thanks so much for sharing this. Brought tears to my eyes. I know exactly what you are going through. My Handsome & Beautiful son is going through the same proplem these days. Stay strong & God bless you Beautiful Lady!

[@AndersVirst]

THX thanks for your sharing!!!

[@DrummerRF]

I myself, even though I am a dude, have had the exact same approach to life as you. The never ending and ever so exausting mimicing and acting. I have noticed however, that this also have had a huge impact on my self image because I've always put myself down to avoid conflict with those who might not like me. I am dealing with that now but I was wondering if you have had similar experiences about your selfworth and how you deald/are dealing with that now.

[@mezmero69]

I'm understanding what you're saying, I'm acting a bit the same way in my life but no body knows about what I am. Sometime it's tirering, especially when you have nobody in your life and the feeling of loneliness with no hope. You will stay alone forever, and nobody can be interesting in you, a part like a weirdoe......

[@michelleharreslon5295]

I feel like I am an alien in this society. A lot of the world does not make sense to me. I have learned to act normal but I feel just like you so lonely.

[@mezmero69]

The thing which is hard isn't even the fact of beeing alone, it is the feeling that there is no hope :( You try to motivate yourself but some evening, especially when you have a lack of energy, the mask gets really heavy.......

[@shawnm9063]

My family keeps asking me (especially after my sister had her second child) when am I going to get married and give my parents another grandchild. I simply tell them when I can find a woman that can stand being around me for longer then a couple of hours. I can't even visit my bestfriend anymore because I get the feeling his wife doesn't like me being around their place. It's not that she doesn't like me, she's just not comfortable around me.

[@Moostar95]

Michelle Harreslon mezmero69 I understand how you guys feel. Its so hard to just nail interactions with those who don't understand your condition. I have autism, and i've had it for 18 years so far. It becomes painful to wake up each day with out feeling like your alone with no one besides family to talk to, but, even then, its hard to have conversations with them as well because I just can't get the idea of communication so well. Having this disability can feel like your trapped on a island. you see all of the airplanes, and boats pass you by, so, you make up all of the signs, and signals to let other know your trapped. but, they don't see those items, and they just simply pass you by.

[@TheDesius]

i made a forum for people with the autism disorder (and other social disorders). here you can socialize, ask questions, give tips and make new friends. this is the forum: shouganai.eu

[@musicXpam]

This video is so important. Thank you so much for being brave and enchanting and honest

[@anibro3832]

thank you for making this video i know that doesnt sound right . but im a Aspie and newly coming to terms with it. your video really helped me show my family and my self how i feel. that life is like putting on a play. and how it takes effort to compriend and excute the being neurotypical behavior

[@MaxMaker]

Story of my life. your a breath of fresh air.

[@MaxMaker]

WHO!! i never said that i have been HACKED!!! who said that as me????

[@Americansikkunt]

Did you not remember posting that?

[@Americansikkunt]

The mystery deepens as my comment gains likes and we patiently await an answer...

[@JohnVDenley]

Great video, well done. I know his you feel, I'm often told I'm too normal to be an Aspie! But then people will also say 'oh that's just John he is lovely but a big odd sometimes'!

[@NicolaiCzempin]

very big odd, in fact!

[@JohnVDenley]

LOL - yes true, although it was a typo and should have said "bit odd" but yes, also a very big 'bit odd' ! ;)

[@kaupaxup]

Ha, same. That has been bothering me so much lately because I'm sort of coming out and telling people what's been going on in my head a lot lately and why I've been in and out of psych and everyone keeps saying things like that they always thought I was pretty normal or whatever. They completely forget that for decades they've been telling me I'm f'n strange and have the most unusual way of thinking and how I act so unemotional. People only see what they want to see in that instant they think they are seeing it.

[@tomdavies6443]

kaupaxup Hi :) Yeh, i mixed with people who valued "being different" as being a good thing so i always took it as a compliment. I didn't think they were serious! It's odd how much people's attitude changes when you "come out" about something like this. it's odd that so many people have such a negative perception about what it means to have this. Yes it can be crippling but it can also be almost like an X-men type super-power. Regards from Tom :)

[@MichaelPaoli]

So ... also reminds me of an excellent quote I very highly liked. Context: The Bridge (Danish/Swedish TV series) Really like ("love") this series. From the Danish/Swedish (English CC), about mid 2nd season (SKIP READING REST OF THIS COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO AVOID READING ANY POSSIBLE (slight?) SPOILERS OR "BAD" WORDS), really like where this dialog went (A is aspie, C coworker, P work partner): C: Right off the bat, it's plain to see something's seriously wrong with you. But this... How the fuck are you allowed to be on the force? A: I'm an excellent detective. C: Right ... Over-analytical robots devoid of any emotions are just what the force needs. The fuck... (C essentially walks off in a huff) A: You agree with C? P: No. You know I don't. I just don't think you should report him. A: But he broke the rules. P: But he did good. A: Yes, but he didn't do it right. P: He can't talk to you like that, that was extremely mean. He was way out of line and owes you an apology. A: He's not the first. P: To be that mean to you? A: To think I'm incapable of getting hurt.

[@kkyyee]

Watching this video, it's like you are expressing my exact thoughts and feelings. Our situations are very similar. This was cathartic for me. Thank you.

[@Stepjer75]

Thank you for being willing to share this, we all experience these things: including those days when we need to pull up the drawerbridge, and be by ourselves for a bit.

[@Warwick3511]

+Stephen Tuthill yes we all do have to at some point, or it gets too much for us

[@hopimoon6409]

I get the same thing all the time It is assumed that because I look too normal or act normal "enough" that I can't be an Aspie. I too have learned how to imitate "normal" folk well enough that I am able to get through a typical grocery store run; however, in most ways, going through the motions and carrying out even the simplest of tasks that other neuro-typical people take for granted is agonizing for me. I mean, "real" life is so difficult for me that it HURTS mentally and emotionally so much that I can't function. I hide myself away for days. If I didn't have children, I'd never leave the house. All I want to do is learn and study ALL THE TIME. All I want is to get lost inside myself. It is very possible that I could slip into my own brain and never come out, and I resent "normal" life for ever making me have to emerge from it. I like it in my head. Normal people mostly bore me, because they do not seem to think as deeply as we do and I can't relate to what I see as their cognitive dissonance.I resent having to participate in the illusion of civilized existence. I know exactly what it feels like to fear hearing the phone ring or to dread hearing someone coming to my door. I hate participating in the facade of normalcy. I have gotten to the point where I am just completely transparent, and I tell people right away, "Hey, I'm fucked up in the head. I don't think like you, so don't expect me to act like you. I might be an eloquent speaker, and I might be attractive, and I might look as normal as you, but I'm fucking retarded, so be prepared for some crazy fucking shit to come out of my head and out of mouth, and be prepared for the fact that I just don't give a shit about anything society tells me I am supposed to care about, and I don't perform at the same level of productiveness, because the menial tasks which define normal life are completely meaningless and INTOLERABLE to me." The normal world is an illusion to me which no one but other Aspies and spiritually enlightened few are able to see through..

[@callmeblixx]

you sound like an AWESOME person,Hopi Moon! ;-) !! we really are very different .

[@irasthewarrior]

I'm an aspie as well. I think that because aspies are too emotional over small tings, someone else's emotions are too strong for us to cope, so the brain may partially shut down the emotional side as a measure to protect itself. It matters much the conditions you've been exposed in your life. Some aspies can remain emotional, others have partially shut down their emotions in order to cope with them.

[@WHISPERED77]

AnMish you are a beautiful woman that the world will never understand. I have aspie and I think your braver than most people because I know exactly what you mean. I would tell you to do some poetry but the world is not worthy of what you would offer. Cheers!

[@aragornthebrave]

TheAnMish Thank you for this video, it really helped me understand my condition better (am just beginning to understand). I think you could find a bit of peace with NTs by trying to see it from their perspective - they haven't got a clue what it's like, and being a good actor (like you and me both are) actually makes it worse for us, because the compassion is lower, unlike if the aspie is obviously an aspie. I, for one, am grateful for this vid :)

[@thedolenorway]

Thanks for this, definitely keep it up! I'm turning 39 in a few weeks, I just got diagnosed as an Aspie this week, guess I've been a good actor as well. So good actually that a part of me is second guessing that diagnosis myself, even if it explains so much about my experience of life. I recognize myself in what you say in this video, that total exhaustion state has been more and more the norm for me as the years have passed. I thought it was "just" depression and anxiety, but started to realize that this happened even when I didn't feel all that clinically depressed. I had a career in IT Consultancy that took off way faster then expected, but I just couldn't keep it up, I got so exhausted from having to fake being comfortable all the time that I had to quit work or quit life. I hope that my diagnosis can be the first step towards a more sustainable productive life for me.

[@traceywalker1120]

so true... most aspie women i know are like this. :-) thsnks for sharing

[@heartywhistler]

Do other people with AS have difficulty processing certain emotions? I ask because I find it almost impossible to experience such feelings as happiness, excitement, tranquility, a calm mind, etc. I process excitement as anxiety. Arousal has often brought on depression and a feeling of retreating deep into my mind (NOT fun during intimate moments). I see beauty in nature, and can take great photographs of nature (because I can rationally determine what makes a great photo), but I usually can't feel like I should or want to when I see beauty in nature. I'm usually too lost in my mind most times.. fixated on something or distracted by overwhelming racing thoughts. Happiness is a foreign word to me for the most part. The closest I usually get to happy is having a good conversation with someone I'm comfortable with (only a few people), watching my favorite TV show ("Community") or reading my favorite books (the Night Watch series of Discworld novels) over and over again. Depression is still present, but I can reach a state of contentment, somewhat. If something unexpected and good happens, I get worried something really bad is soon to follow. Being positive about anything is really tough, and often feels false. I am wondering if the woman in this video has days when she naturally feels happy and good? Do any of you who have AS and are reading this comment have difficulty processing or experiencing positive emotions?

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) I think some of what you describe sounds a lot like depression rather than straight-forwards aspie-autie. However depression is often one of the side-effects of being an aspie-autie. Also a lot of that could easily be aspie-autie. All of us are very different from each other = different combinations and intensities of the traits as well as what/who we are outside of those traits. A lot of what you describe make a LOT of sense to me. I've not been diagnosed yet though. Regards from Tom :)

[@heartywhistler]

Tom Davies, yes, Asperger's with heavy depression that goes with it. But you are right, people with AS are very different from each other. Glad not all people with AS deal with severe depression.

[@JamesMc2051]

I struggle to separate thoughts and feelings and feel numb mostly when I should be emotional but then get delayed reaction and the emotions hit me months and years later. I struggle with happy as a concept too and only really recognise it in retrospect. So, yes, I feel as if I know what you mean to an extent. Depression and anxiety have been common in my life too (usually hidden as best as I can manage). I empathise with you.

[@heartywhistler]

Jim McIntosh Hmm.. I can relate to not feeling emotional when I should, but not the numb part. Do you mean you have no feelings at all? I notice that I should feel good in certain situations, like when I am out in beautiful nature for example, but instead just notice that I don't feel the feelings I should, and that makes me feel quite depressed and frustrated. Not feeling good.. not being able to experience pleasure.. that's called anhedonia. I don't know how common an AS trait this is. Happy as mostly a concept. Yes. I get that. For me, it helps to watch my favorite TV shows and movies over and over again, and read the same books.. that helps some. Food tastes good.. I can experience that pleasure, but it leads to weight gain. Also, when I do feel pleasure, part of my brain wants to stop that feeling. I don't have the delayed emotional thing like you have, but I keep reliving or fixating on the past, and the past is mostly negative. I read that's an AS trait..having difficulty letting go of the past. And the past is mostly negative Anxiety and depression.. makes sense we experience these feelings. Anxiety because we feel, and are, quite different from most people. Depression because of this, and because we can't feel as we feel we should. I've read that some people with AS can improve their lives and reduce their symptoms by going gluten-free and dairy free. Have you tried or read this? I'm thinking of going on a restrictive diet, but since food is one of the few forms of pleasure I experience, I find it somewhat difficult to change my eating habits. Also, it's easy to get into the habit of eating the same foods most of the time. I need to change this. It be really worth it. I wish you good days in the future. Maybe there are some solutions..

[@stevendouglas5132]

Give the proper response, wow, I know that too well. I just need 1 friend that accepts me for who I am.

[@Sluwaard]

Thank you so much for making this video! I like to listen to people with the same problem as myself, it makes me feel less of an outsider in this world :(

[@Aspie-ue8yy]

I was diagnosed this year. Since my diagnoses I have read and watched tons of valuable and some not so valuable material on the condition. This video far greater then anything else crystallized for me what it means to be an Aspie and what I have been doing to cope with the world for the last 56 years. I know this video was tough to make but I can't thank you enough for making this as well as your other informative videos.

[@GWAYGWAY1]

I love company and I can fit in with most people. The things is now after so many years I have had the guilt of wanting to do things and go to places that she will not do. So I do not do them. I am isolated and destroyed by the AS because my 'duty' is to care for her and keep her safe. I bought a motorhome and she will go places in that but it is an extension of home and a safe place BUT will not go out of it to a town or where people are, only the desolate places, I want the views of towns and cities etc.

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) You do need to do things yourself that you like to do. She might not be able to join in with that but might (or might not) like to hear about some of your adventures. At the times when you are off doing your own thing she may enjoy being able to go off into her own inner world for a while without feeling guilty about not staying out in the world for you. Time apart can sometimes be as important as time together as it can make the time together more special. Regards from Tom :)

[@tomdavies6443]

Just my own opinion. "Your mileage may vary"

[@GWAYGWAY1]

Tom Davies Thanks for your comments, the things I miss most are closeness, intimacy,cuddles, hugs and love. These are missing from my life and leave a huge hole. I do not matter anymore.

[@tomdavies6443]

Graham Dawes Hi :) Those are going to be difficult to get from elsewhere! Hopefully she has opened up her inner world to you a little so there is that type of closeness and intimacy. This is something that is difficult for an aspie to share. Physical closeness and intimacy is really tough. It's not the same and is very flippant but maybe a dog or cat might help? Would you be able to take a dog out for walks? That might give a regular excuse for getting out of the house for a bit and reassure her that you'd definitely be coming home again. Sorry! Not very helpful :( Apols and regards from Tom :)

[@Binyamin.Tsadik]

Graham Dawes You can probably get your intimacy from her, just not whenever you feel like it. You have to tell her that you are interested in being intimate with her later in the day. She will have time to prepare herself for it. Try to warn her in advance and give her a lot of time alone to deal with what is coming. Eventually, you may not need so much time for her to prepare.

[@karlosoliv3ira]

I identify myself with every word you said

[@Bongtasia]

If you don't want people to "judge" you then you might wanna quit criticizing. Not many really care that much ((meaning, that's why people may see you as a normal person, people can be ignorant ((Im sorry)) but alot of time it's with the best intentions though)), it actually seems like you have more emotions that an average person does. .. Maybe people want to help support you. I know I am one trying to understand better for so many reasons, because I do care, about you & others no matter if they are "different" or not. .. Just Please know, even if it doesn't make sense sometimes, just know that most have a odd way of expressing too.. I guarantee though, 80%+ are here & support you, You are Loved no matter what. All apologies but people can be pricks rather you are different or not, Don't worry about them. Think about something else, they aren't worth your time and energy. It seems like "I'm fed up.." type of video. Good- let it out, it's healthy But whoever can come on here and act like that or speak to you in the ways they do deserve a swift kick in the throat. People wanna say she has no feelings, she's a robot.. HOW THE HELL CAN A PERSON SAY SUCH THINGS.. unless they had No Soul themselves. She is doing the best she can & knows how to do, she tries 10000xz harder than us on every given day. Give her a break, goodness gracious. I'm not one to even hurt a fly but the lack of decency I see here makes me wanna start breaking bones, It's not right on so many levels. She tries constantly and here you people are acting like you don't any a lick of sense. What a World-What a World.

[@hotpinkmiamisunset]

I've actually watched this video before.. twice.. about a year ago.. and I've realized that I am drawn to you and your way of thinking. I won't say that I am exactly like you, but boy do I relate. I have watched a lot of your videos. I am so grateful to have found your channel. ♡♡♡

[@mortoncharbo5494]

I watch your videos every day. They make my life so much easier.Thank you for spending so much time and effort and devotion to put these things in to words so maybe other people can begin to understand them. I know how hard it is. I feel like I could never do what you do. You are amazing and thank you!

[@GWAYGWAY1]

My wife acted normally Play acting the NT until she got me, then after a few years the true side came out, she cannot SHOW any emotion of love or caring she does show anger at peculiar triggers of being criticised even if it has nothing about her. My advice is do not marry an aspie of either sex because it will end in an emotional desert for the NT. The aspies are better together as a couple because the expectations of life are similar. and it is easier for them to understand each other. It is heartbreaking to be at the sharp end of AS. This young lady is similar and the heartache she show is the same. The emotions are there but difficult to show and receive. it is difficult to deal with and it has broken me over the 34 years. I love her but she cannot love me.

[@jivefx]

If she stays with, it shows that she's loyal. Common Aspie trait. If you can't accept her, then leave her.

[@1980Dunder]

Aspies can show all kinds of emotions, although it's hard to show them sometimes. 'Do not marry an Aspie of either sex because it will end in an emotional desert for the NT' and 'I love her but she cannot love me'? As I said, Aspies do have feelings, it's just hard to express them. Take it from me, I'm an Aspie myself.

[@karmalevel]

Aspies are essentially sociopaths without the superficial charm

[@1980Dunder]

karmalevel If Aspies are sociopaths, then I guess that: 1. You haven't met any Aspie, and 2. I guess you're either a xenofobe or the next Hitler. (in case you don't know what a xenofobe is, it is a person who's afraid of people not like them.) Or maybe perhaps you're both.

[@karmalevel]

LOL you are a typical aspie. Overeact and can't see the world like 99.9.9 % of society

[@falloutking560]

:( This video made me sad.

[@Binyamin.Tsadik]

I don't know what you have, but I know I have the same thing. I can empathize with you which I can't do with other NTs. It feels like you are the first person I can understand. I understand what you mean when you say that you cannot function, but it is not a lack of functioning. It is an over-functioning mind, that needs time to clean itself and organize all the information gathered since the last down-time. Our minds get too full and need time to empty themselves. I can't stand social interaction at those moments because people try to force more into our minds. I try explaining that they need to shut up because my mind is currently full. But they do not understand, and most of the time take offense. I really disagree that it is a lack of functioning because at those times when I cannot interact, are the times where I feel like I am functioning the most.

[@MISTAKEWASMADE4live]

Same

[@jamesobrien2845]

This video is very helpful. I understand myself better on account of learning from this perspective. I can act too and be social if necessary and have the energy, but recently have been accepting who I am an Aspie, after a lifetime of trying to be normal. Some days are very difficult, and can't talk to anyone at all, but always get back on track after lots of rest. Other days I have too much ambition. I have met hundreds of people in life and have learned how to act, like you. I understand perfectly. Thank you, from another Aspie. James

[@MrsDannunzio]

As an Aspie and mom of a teenage boy who may be, I'd love it if you could maybe make a separate channel for your younger self. I understand that now that you're a professional, you may have changed some beliefs, but what I remember watching years ago were your fascinating videos about what it was like to grow up. I think it would help him and so many others to see a smart, brilliant, sensitive, beautiful young woman with Aspergers/autism and hear your experiences, then see who you became today--still smart, brilliant and beautiful--but even more so! Please please please consider it! Thank you!

[@aspieman84]

I am not good at acting NT yet. Any hint how I can do this better?

[@AnAutisticPsychologist]

It took me many years to learn to automate it enough that I can keep it up for any significant period at a time... What I did was to use roleplaying games (tabletop, live RP stresses me out too much) to study behavior, social rules and how they change etc. So far, it's been 10 years since I started RPG's, and I'm reasonably good at it now. So my best advice is acting classes, drama, and roleplaying games. However - some things don't change! Sensory issues are still the same, and I still have to work around those, I also still have to watch my stress-level, etc. All the underlying traits are still there, just my communication with NT's has improved. :)

[@nobodyanon]

TheAnMish I learned the hard way: through constant embarrassment, loss of friends and the mortifying feeling that I stuck out like a sore thumb and was always doing something wrong. I slowly began to streamline my social skills, cadence, tone of voice, etc. through middle school and high school until I almost caught up with my peers and that is where I am now.

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) I used to watch a LOT of soap-operas to try to figure it out. They are NOT a good example though! They tend to avoid communicating usefully, i think it's in order to create the maximum misunderstandings and to heighten drama. Also nowadays far tooo dramatic and nothing like real life. Another one is sitting in a cafe or pub pretending to read and just watching people. it took me ages and i only go into ones where i know a safe place nearby where i can be myself and go into my own world without attracting too much attention. Pubs are great because people don't expect strangers to comunicate and they are often too wrapped up in their own things to notice other people much = so it's possible to say a few words and then wander off as though you are going somewhere without people finding that too odd. Having a book or something that looks like work to go back to seems to make sense to them. Regards from Tom :)

[@kaylaposey7616]

TheAnMish That was how I learned to 'blend in' too. I started roleplaying on World of Warcraft about two years ago and made a lot of friends there eventually. :) I also started going to public school around the same time; homeschooling wasn't really working out for me at that point. I think I'm doing pretty well with other people now, but I tend to isolate myself and cry after long and/or awkward social events. >_

[@Aspie-Autistic]

Always remember masking is a tool, not the real you. I can tell you from personal and reading others experiences that forgetting this causes multiple mental health problems. I saw this video when I was first diagnosed and this was the aha moment, the most important piece of information I needed to know in my self rediscovery process because I was clueless I was even doing it a lot of the time, and when I did know I was masking I thought I was doing better then I was. Even though you hated making this video, I can not thank enough for doing so The AnMish.

[@CarolinaSkyeLife]

well said all of it, i agree and i am the same way. it is alot harder, i had pdd which later was said as aspergers and i feel the same i couldnt have said it better then you in this because it is hard and people dont get me to this day. and everyone thinks i am normal but i am not. and i try everyday.

[@mylovemymoose]

Well said! I'm an Oscar winner as well :)

[@jeanineablogger6300]

What a well done video! I am glad you shared.

[@hermionecameron5803]

thank you so much for sharing this!! I have the exact same issue as you, so it's really refreshing to hear someone else express it. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. You're right, it's such a myth that people with aspergers/autism can't experience emotions in the same way that NT people can. I mostly feel like the problem with me is that I feel too much & have so much empathy that I just don't know how to handle it. I have so much respect for you for putting yourself out there & I wish I was brave enough to do the same thing. I completely empathise with your pain and frustration. Most of my friends don't know I have aspergers, and even the ones who do (although they have my best interests at heart) don't fully understand how it affects me, so I sort of spend my life acting as well! I really hope you do/have made more videos like this, educating people on the truth about aspergers, because the world needs to know! Also, you're awesome! P.S. you look a lot like Jennifer Lawrence :)

[@Eburiden]

Thank you for telling people what I can't tell them. I'm thinking about just showing them your video instead of caring to try to explain what I think and what it feels like to be me. Good to know I'm not alone. Thumbs up for your courage to talk about this on YT.

[@EmmaJeantheartisticfreak]

I have aspergers! I have feelings :)

[@richardwharton590]

Having Asperger's should not be something to be ashamed of. I know a few people with it and they are very nice people. They just have difficulty in communicating

[@TheHebenonVial]

Aspies don't have emotions? Why do I love you then?

[@mikeross8735]

I cant believe you made this 8 years ago ! I remember watching your videos when i was got suicidal due to the issues i face with Anxiety , lack of focus , trying to fit in ..... Im glad you made these videos i can really relate . im 23 now . I hope your life has been treating you well .

[@terraserpico]

Your video hits the nail right on the head. This video pretty much echoes my story. What's frustrating is that most people just do not understand people like us and therefore believe that we are absolutely normal when little do they know that we are seasoned pros at acting absolutely normal. Unfortunately, there are many days that acting absolutely normal is simply impossible, and those are the days when nobody gets to see us.

[@para-mentischannelbypiggsy4240]

Your way to critical not all doc's are in the know....best to research your own psychology and contact Asperger/Autism I can tell you everything from what I know you have taken longer to learn social skills and suffered along the way its not that your acting it's because your nature is pulling you in a different direction we all wear mask sometimes I like to be a geek I work in a place where I have been treated like shit because I could mirror other people yet my intelligence is higher them and I have a empathy which comes from a caring personality type. I also suffer from being sensitive emotionally happiness and anger define my inner thoughts but it usually is internalise. I have no friends as people I hang out but I associate with I have had very few relationships but I have never treated them bad and I quickly fall in love which is very difficult. I am 36 years old and its only recently acknowledged that I am borderline Asperger test shows 87% but as two nephews and a cousin have been diagnosed with forms of Autism. Another test showed both neurotypical and Aspie traits which is what you have, you need embrace both I have and told my manager as too many people driving me nuts and also people think I am a psycho. The aspie makes you more intelligent while neurotypical emotional side but there is a lot of other stuff in between. If Normal means like me then we are, if it means same as some one else then no we are not. Insane is normal definition means within sanity, your normal but not ordinary. I am glad you mentioned about religion as I have studied loads of the theory work and have my own religion as well as several others Zen, Taoism, science and life. We all suffer internal conflict but we are great researchers. Also my father has Schizophrenia that developed when I was 14yrs old I thought it was genetic but its neurological never consider Autism on my mother side...love you mum. Studying psychology, hypnotherapy, body language has helped a lot. I'll send you a hug, PK x

[@Max-tr4wu]

Thank you, you just put my feelings... Or no feelings into perfect words, thank you

[@para-mentischannelbypiggsy4240]

What are friends for?? the problem non-aspies have trouble reading us the lack of eye contact they believe is a sign of lying when actually its me processing or recalling data and feeling uncomfortable due to being in personal space closer then preferred. Pauses as well may throw them as it could be the extra effort in saying something analytical basically its like being on holiday in a different country. Worse is blushing it believed to be embarrassment when its chemical reaction to stress. I do have a sweet story I did community work and went to a adult disability social club. I saw a guy called Michael he couldn't speak at the time and he moved around in a more like a Orangutang standing up that not me being unkind just had similar movements which also tell you neurologically he was different. Years have gone by when I heard a voice how are you it repeated I turned to see Michael with a carer walking behind me. He then said how are you sorry I forgot your name. I was surprised and very pleased. We had a short chat which is heart warming as all this time he knew me but was unable to talk could be the have changed meds or he has improved.

[@Atmosphusion]

Where does this word aspie come from, something the medical profession made up to percribe drugs, pharmacuticles are the biggest money makers in the world, that and war. The medical profession love to label things to make money, as people there are so many issues that we can have, the mind is very powerful and once someone starts thinking certain things it can bring along certain things, sometimes we can be our own worst enemies when our thoughts run wild, i mean what is normal anyways, is there really such a thing. Far to many labels are being put on people and it also looks like alot of people are labelling themselfes when in reality they are just people with different emotions and thoughts, and this is really what makes us all individuals and is tottally normal in my opinion

[@AnAutisticPsychologist]

There's no medication available to treat autism, because it isn't a disease. It's a neurodevelopmental disorder.

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) To some extent all that is true. The term "aspie" came from people who have aspergers-autism or are otherwise in the community. NOT from 'health-carer professions'. It's just a contraction of it and makes it friendlier and easier to say. People who say something a lot tend to shorten it = hence nicknames and technical languages (ie IT jargon). The term aspergers came from Dr Asperg(? not sure the exact spelling) who noticed that several patients had similar traits and issues and that things that helped ease some of them seemed to often help the others too. It's a spectrum 'disorder' so some people may have very mild cases and others are crippled by it. It also varies depending on how culture or society is around you. Sometimes the culture or society is tooo intrusive or judgemental and crushes aspies into their own worlds or pushes aspies (and others) into freaking out. Other times it gives aspies enough space that it gives aspies a chance of making the most of the gifts that come with it instead of being crippled by the negatives. Sometimes a trait can be negative for one person or in one situation but extremely positive in others. Hence Mozart, Michelangelo, Bill Gates, many top musicians and others. A classic example is that Einstein was a bit of a failure at school (he hated it apparently) but outside was able to use his gifts more positively. Regards from Tom :)

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) In some ways the terms aspie and autie are worse "labels" because it suggests that the person is entirely defined by the aspergers or autism. Health-care professionals say the person "has aspergers" or "has autism" suggesting that only part of the person is defined by whichever one. However, the way people are handled sometimes seems to contradict that. People who define themselves as aspies or auties often sy that they do this or that which is outside normal spectrum behaviour or describe thoughts or feelings that are outside of it. So they acknowledge taht they are aspies or auties but that it doesn't completely define everything about them. At a guess health care professionals sometimes focus too much on stuff that only fits on the spectrum and don't seem to see the rest of the person. It's kinda their job to help with 'problems' that are outside of NT issues, oddly they don't have to try to fix the problems of NT behaviour or the illogical and bizarre behaviours and feelings that lay within the limited NT range. Again this is just me thinking aloud and there are bound to be many examples of individuals contradicting what i say, even if i'm right. it's quite possible i'm completely wrong though. Regards from Tom :)

[@SitaraAleu]

And Aspie is just a short and kind of cute way to say you have Asperger's syndrome. Mainly because of that stupid a** name of the guy who first acknowledged it!!! WHY NOT SMITH OR JOHNSON?????

[@MildAutismPete]

Hi TheAnMish, Have you considered it from the opposite viewpoint? That "neurotypicals" are actually aspies too, just not as often? We all have breakdowns, all humans do. Yours might be more frequent, but not so much as to classify yourself as a different species. If you click on me you can go see my video that says we are all autistic, plus more about that. If you then drop over to my website, you will see I have shown how similar we all are, as I describe how we all display "autistic characteristics" in the series on my Home page called "You experience Autism". I know you also live behind a mask, but so do "neurotypicals", there are many examples of this, the only one I can think of currently is Billy Joel's The Stranger" album, where the main song talks about everyone wearing a mask. Donna Williams in her book "Nobody Nowhere" describes her acting in multiple personalities in which she could pretend she was "normal". But we all act, especially when we want to be someone instantly different, instantly better. It's just all a matter of degree, and that degree is not important. Take a week off work if it gets too much, you just need a little more rest to overcome the harshness of the world than some of us, but who doesn't need rest? If you aren't so hard on yourself, you'll find you won't drain your energy away so much: chronic self-criticism is a huge energy-sapper! And we all have bad days, life can be a struggle for us all. Hope this is good for you! Cheers, Peter (- not "neurotypical", there is no such thing, but perhaps less-autistic than some, but - so what?)

[@MildAutismPete]

Thanks Donna, I tried to send you a little extra material that I recently put together, on the subject of categorising people as Aspies etc. Describing is fine, but "Categorising" is not. Just a matter of degree, but an important one. The one is much more flexible than the other. Unfortunately I don't know how to send attachments... You'd be welcome to patch me an email so I could send it. Here I am if you choose to correspond, I can't get the hang of this KZbin reply system..! [e-mail] Cheers, P.

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) Many top musicians and artists are aspies. It takes a lot of focus to create something rather than to "just go off and party". I wish i could "go off and party" but for me there is no "just" about it. I find it extremely tough to "mingle". I often can't cope with physical contact. if everyone else is the same way sometimes then why all the hand-shaking, back-slapping and touching people's arms? How come direct eye contact is consider normal and looking away is viewed so badly? I think it's wishful thinking to think that everyone is a bit on the spectrum. Sweet but naive. Regards from Tom :)

[@MildAutismPete]

That's a really nice and polite way of expressing your alternative opinion, Tom, thanks! (I suppose that is not surprising for a more-sensitive person like you) Yes the back-slappers and casual touchers of the world have more capacity to absorb touch without sensitivity-overload. But we are all still on the same spectrum, you and MANY others prefer less brutal or casual touching, but if you receive it in a way you can cope with, gentler with perhaps some advance preparation, I guess you appreciate touch too, so you ARE similar. Think of those with less touch-sensitivity as (if I can make a crude but apt analogy) wearing a thick condom over their entire bodies, so they need a strong thump to get the same sensations as you do from a gentler approach Note also that this hearty slapping and hugging business is often a way for such people to relieve their tension - because they TOO feel jangled at a party, not just you, because - we're all similar! Eye-contact: they say eyes are the window to the soul, but if your soul is too sensitive it can hurt! If you got a "neuro-typical" person to look for a long time at another neuro-typical person, then person 2 would eventually feel overwhelmed like you, and look away, he.she is just less sensitive to eye contact than you. Looking away is viewed as not wanting to share face-language, which is like a rejection of the person looking at you, so they feel upset. More about over-sensitivities from me at www.mild-autism.com/how-it-starts/ Cheers!

[@tomdavies6443]

MildAutismPete Hi :) We all have different experiences and different ways of being and different thought processes. It's not surprising that we think differently or arrive at different conclusions for a while. I don't see the point in being hostile about it. I do often find it difficult to be calm about it but i see that as me failing. Regards from Tom :)

[@tomdavies6443]

Hi :) Extraverts seem to recharge through having contact with people! Surrounding themselves with people, having direct eye-contact and physical contact actually rejuvenates them = makes them feel better and helps them relax and feel comfortable. It is lack of social contact that drains them and makes them anxious or depressed or angry. All of that is so completely opposite to me that it never even occurred to me that people could function that way. It's not that they are less sensitive to touch, it's that they NEED it!! I can't even think about it and it's even been difficult to write. Most NTs are probably somewhere between introvert and extravert (often misspelt with an o instead) lifehacker.com/how-introverts-and-extroverts-can-peacefully-coexist-638422576 www.bbc.com/future/story/20130717-what-makes-someone-an-extrovert mindhacks.com/2013/07/22/what-makes-an-extravert/ notonlyluck.com/2013/04/23/the-difference-between-introverts-and-extroverts/ en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion I'm not sure if aspies even fit on that spectrum. If we do then most of the time i guess we kinda fall off the introverted end but many of us yearn or crave social contact and have desperate longing to want to fit in and maybe even have some of the things that extraverts have - i'm thinking more of the 'female' aspie traits here (which i seem to have quite a lot of, hence the sarcastic single quotes) - but it's just exhausting rather than rejuvenating. The idea of spectrum or linear scale between one thing and another seems hopelessly simplistic to me. I think as humans we are all (NTs too but especially aspie-auties) much more complex, ie more like 3 or even 4 dimensional. Regards from Tom :)

[@meemoomamoo]

Thank you AnMish, this video is so helpful. You're a very thoughtful person, I wish you happiness x

[@dainonearl2391]

This struck a powerful chord with me. It is wonderful to hear someone put words to something that we've been feeling for so long.

[@matthewsummersgill2242]

good on you sweetheart people do not realize how hard we try to be nuerotypical how hard we try to fit in and for me especially when i dont fit in when i dont feel that i belong when im snubbed or blocked out and i walk away when people wonder why i dont catch up with them after a while cos they refuse to understand this lady is dead right you guys will never see the days where we hide ourselves away when we fail you will never know our thoughts of dissapointment in ourselves failure not belonging no self worth and she is dead right to the people out there who think she is not and only trying to be a aspie to you people FUCK YOU!! you wouldnt have the first clue on how hard it can be for us!!!

[@stevendouglas5132]

Just talk with Aspies, don't talk to those so called Normal People, they will fuck us up every time. And, by the way you are extremely attractive, these are my thoughts. Douglas

[@sQueezedhe]

Do we all get hats to wear to signify this so we can carry out your concept?

[@ncktyu]

Steven Douglas People with Aspergers who are really unattractive will go their whole live miserable, wondering what the hell they did wrong to deserve the rejection. Since she is attractive, she has had plenty of people interacting with her in plenty of different settings and situation. She has had a better chance of learning how to express herself normally.

[@Youseekerofcum]

Fuck normal, man. That shit is for gaylords. Lmaooo

[@jayhobbs8196]

Thanks for posting it always feels nice to watch these videos. sometimes I need to remind myself that I work so hard to keep my head above water and remember to appreciate and respect myself. Am very hard on myself but..that is often just how it is to get ahead in a world more congruent to the needs of neuro typicals. Thanks for posting..helped me to put things into perspective..difficult times at the minute

[@heidicooper3870]

Thankyou for your honesty and openness! I've recently discovered I'm an Aspie at the age of 45. It explains why I became dysfunctional and unable to go to work for days / weeks at a time when I wasn't actualy "ill" and I couldn't explain why! I've got some beautiful Aspie friends who have a great deal of integrity and are gifted in music and design / engineering. I am happy to be Aspie. It explains why I am quirky and pleasantly eccentric! Hx