AT&T Archives: The Astonishing, Unfailing Bell System (1967)

For more from the AT&T Archives, visit techchannel.att...
This film focuses on the integrity and reliability of the entire Bell System network, circa 1967, to handle large quantities of not just voice information and phone calls, but also data, text via teletype, pictures, and television signals. It's a series of small case studies in how the national system fit together to deliver all kinds of information, from tracking train cars to transmitting live television broadcasts. The narrator steers the viewer from Oklahoma, to Chicago and Cleveland, to the Pacific Northwest, down to Dallas and east to Pittsburgh and New York City. In Tacoma, they peek in on that year's Daffodil Festival. In NYC, it's not specified, but the television program the film visits is actually an episode of the Bell Telephone Hour from 1966, with a young Peter Marshall and an older Ray Bolger performing a song-and-dance number.
Other significant developments in 1967 that are NOT included in this film: the FCC established 911 as an emergency number. And 1967 was really the Bell System's heyday - the ESS switch had just started installations, and Dennis Ritchie, one of the inventors of UNIX, had just started working at Bell Labs.
Today, trains are tracked via RFID tags and GPS, and the microwave radio relays that carried broadcast television networks have been replaced by fixed-service satellites. And text, of course, instead of being transmitted via private line teletype, flows over the internet.
Footage courtesy of AT&T Archives and History Center, Warren, NJ

[@rexlex1736]

I was an AT&T/Bell System employee for 25 years. December 31, 2023 will be the 40th anniversary of the official break up of the Bell System. At the time of its demise, the Bell System was 107 years old. Unfortunately, the company was forcefully dismantled by the US government.

[@LMacNeill]

I remember when I was a kid in the '70s and early '80s -- the phones were always *so* much more reliable than the electricity. A storm could knock out the power -- but almost never the phones. I remember one time we had tornadoes come through, and the power was out for a couple of days -- but the phone was out for only a couple of hours. AT&T's phone-service was pricey, long-distance service cost a *ton* of money back then, but you absolutely got *far* better service then than you do today. It's amazing to me how a network of thin copper lines that are so fragile was so reliable.

[@thomaslanik7215]

The landline phone system uses it's own power- independent from the national electrical grid. That is the big reason.

[@jjdynomite5757]

They used deep cycle batteries that were constantly charging to power the system. When the mains went down, the batteries kept it running until the charge went out, which usually never happened. There were times the lines would flood out and cause an 'off hook' on all the lines in the flooded trunks. There were even circuits that dropped lines when they got into that condition, and alerted someone at the CO. Today you're lucky to even find anyone at most small COs.

[@robertcuminale1212]

@@jjdynomite5757 That's because we ran generators to keep the batteries charged.

[@Chris_at_Home]

AT&T built their buildings to high standards to withstand natural disasters. Communication equipment rooms dont have windows and there are big battery plants to keep the equipment working for at least 24 hours. Most sites also have auto start generators.

[@Chris_at_Home]

@@jjdynomite5757I worked at a site where we had a 48v battery plant with each 2 volt cell weighing 675 lbs and had 1700AH capacity. I worked at another site where we had 7 battery plants.

[@desertbob6835]

I worked in the LA Grand Complex shown in this film as the LA terminus of the NBC video before it was handed off to KRCA in Burbank. The TV Operating Center in those days was in the LA02 building at 433 S Grand Ave. I worked telegraph, carrier and microwave radio before moving on to a satcom earth station in n 1986. Grand was a veritable museum of telephony back then, with everything from telegraph hubs from the 1920s, step-by-step switching and Type J open wire carrier from the '30s, microwave and cable systems from the '40s through '80s, and the first stereo TV audio systrm in the US. The buildings remain...but only as "condos" for server farms and cell providers. At its height, Grand had as many as 3000 people working in it during a day shift. Now, there's no one there.

[@StringerNews1]

I'd love to see photos of that! I played a very small role in the development of stereo TV audio at WTTW in Chicago, and would love to hear the story of how the part made it from Chicago to LA. IIRC the microwave link from studio to transmitter that carried discrete stereo (that was converted to multiplex stereo at the transmitter) was replaced after it was hacked, might that be it?

[@calbob750]

I worked at a Panel Switching System at ClevOH45. OBT milked the 20s technology there until 1974. Had 45 technicians until 1974. Next year 7. Worked on D1, D2, D3, D4, D5 carrier Cleveland Main. Fortunately, the benefits...medical and pension remained excellent at least until 2000.

[@badcompany-w6s]

I bet that was a sight to see.

[@JohnCompton1]

Bet there was an awesome nuclear bunker complex in such an impressive and important facility as that! Fascinating, commentary from all the gentlemen here...

[@desertbob6835]

​@@JohnCompton1LA Grand was non-hardened.

[@toastecmo]

When real hard working Americans prided in their work and production was in the US. Now its mostly overseas. Now it's all blowing up in out face. We need to recapture the spirit and grit of American manufacturing.

[@brianarbenz7206]

I used to work as a stringer journalist for Associated Press, and the portion around 25 minutes brought back memories of rushing stories in from the field by phone - but not of the crowning of the daffodil festival queen in Puyallup!

[@am74343]

I love those humongous hard drives!!! Those big discs spinning!!!

[@1978garfield]

I bet your cell phone has more storage capacity than that drive.

[@jackdavis8992]

@@1978garfield much. Much more. Hahahaha. Hard to believe but true.

[@coreybabcock2023]

They didn't have much dust protection

[@RCAvhstape]

Tape drives, actually. Tape is still a pretty good medium for archival storage of old data. Of course you need a functioning tape machine to read it back someday.

[@michaelterrell]

That was used more as RAM than storage. Those early systems only held a few MB. A local steel mill had a Westinghouse computer that used a 40" drive to store 5MB to run the hot strip. It had a five MP, 480V three phase motor. It was finally retired in the mid '80s when all of the spare heads, parts and used drives had been purchased and run to their deaths.

[@drh4683]

Its great you are taking the time to share such excellent history from your archives!

[@luisreyes1963]

I see you are also interested in technology from the past. 🤓

[@clemflynn7067]

I agree. I love it as well. Thank you for sharing this information.

[@johnopalko5223]

I know things were a lot looser in 1967, but that guy firing up the diesel generators without hearing protection. Wow.

[@calbob750]

I worked in a Central Office in Cleveland in the 70s. All the underground cable came into the building. A nearby gas station had leaking gasoline storage tanks that migrated into the CO basement. All the management and operators exited the building without notifying the technicians. Where’s OSHA when you need it.

[@johnopalko5223]

@@calbob750 Ouch! What, did they think the craft were expendable?

[@michaelterrell]

Our CO in Middletown Ohio not only had the diesel generator. they also had a farm tractor and a PTO driven generator as a secondary backup.

[@NipkowDisk]

It's great to see all of these archives showing the technology of our communications central nervous system, in an earlier era. On another note, it looks like Peter Marshall and Ray Bolger around the 23:35 mark or so...

[@desertbob6835]

You are correct.

[@jackdavis8992]

Believe that's Gene Rayburn with Bolger. He did many things for NBC, WNBC am and TV and NBC Radio during the late 50s through the late 70s

[@whorton4]

Ah, the good 'ol days, when all you needed around a train was: "I know every engineer on every train All of their children, and all of their names And every handout in every town And every lock that ain't locked, when no one's around." -Lyrics King of the Road.

[@skeets6060]

I sure miss Ma Bell,, the best job I ever had, from PBX to microwave to long lines in Pittsburgh

[@jimdandy7772]

This was a time when men worked to build this country, the last 3 generations have taken everything apart piece by piece and sent it all over seas

[@calbob750]

Someone decided that it was all about shareholder value. That’s why when you call for customer service you contact someone with a flip chart and no understanding of the English language.

[@Janotes]

And the current generation has no drive at all..

[@deepspacecow2644]

And what about all the other tier ones that are around nowadays?

[@marcfield582]

I only wish the would put this kind of effort into things today.

[@williamkucharski2245]

That's what the profits from running a monopoly bring. Do you pay $2/minute for long distance calls anymore? No? That lack of revenue has consequences. To be fair, it's also matching expectations; in the 1960s power companies used to proactively replace components; now they just wait for things to fail, because people expect power outages now and then.

[@videosuperhighway7655]

The reason it cost 2 dollars a minute was the expense of the technology. Just one IBM 360 cost in the millions and you needed tons of them. The amount of employees needed to run the phone system was huge. Everything had to be engineered for reliability and tons of R&D involved, tons of work had to be done to continue to extend telephone service in the US. this is why it cost 2 dollars a minute. Just like a computer like an Apple IIe cost 2000 dollars and only had 64K of ram. Telephone was still growing back then. It took a lot of money to recoup the huge expense in building it. Also for long distance you needed these 4/6 gigahertz microwave towers and buildings filled with expensive electronics, waveguides, antennas the size of a truck etc.. every certain amount of miles. today a 4/6 gigahertz transmitter is smaller than the palm of your hand and the antenna a few inches wide. So these are a few reasons it cost 2 dollars a minute. not because of greed, because of the expense of the undertaking.

[@billyboi57]

Long distance rates were high because some of that revenue was used to subsidize local telephone service. That is why the Bell System could apparently repair or replace telephone lines and equipment at not cost to the end consumer. At one point, the old AT&T or Ma Bell as she was called employed over one million people in different capacities.

[@l.r.1891]

Its not about expense technology itself. Its about phone call/total capacity/shared time ratio and maintenance ratio from which cost of phone call is calculated. Because spectral efectivity massively increased over the time with a new technology, prices decreased as well even you've had same or only a little bit lower maintenance ratio. You have expensive calls today as well. Satellite phone cost 2-4$/minute because capacity is very low and equipment is very expensive. It's not a rocket science.

[@sillygoose635]

still do

[@mikemac2888]

10:58 - they still do, but those are air-dry systems for buried fiber-optic. Neat. Everything done in this video - there's now an app for all of it.

[@markcarbonaro6524]

Back in the days when the Bell System strived for the five 9’s of reliability: “It will work 99.999% of the time”

[@johneygd]

Whoooaah mind. Blowong those network & computersystems at the time, they were lightyears ahead.

[@billyfulks5587]

It’s scary to think that we don’t have such solid infrastructure today. Now, we have smaller and less committed communication companies (including the sad remnants of AT&T).

[@mattnah8352]

Contact your congressman and get it back under a congressional regulated monopoly. As it should be.

[@kjclark1963]

What they fail to mention is that the TV show being produced at NBC with Peter Marshall and Ray Bolger was an episode of the weekly Bell Telephone Hour. This was season 8, episode 13, titled, "Music of the Movies."

[@patbarron0]

I probably should have looked at the comments first, before I spent about 20 minutes figuring that out... ;-) (I recognized Peter Marshall right away, but at first I thought Ray Bolger was actually Jack Klugman, and that kind of impeded my progress...).

[@badcompany-w6s]

I thought that was Peter Marshall however I wasn't sure.

[@yfs9035]

Packet switching has both revolutionized and destroyed everything as we knew it

[@yfs9035]

I remember playing with POTS and home phones as a kid, that's when I found out that a ringing phone line is not one you want to be touching. Always been very interested in how "the phone rings". It was so amazing to me that the phone could connect you anywhere at any time. Even to places I have never been to or knew existed. It "carried my voice over electricity!" What an amazing time to be doing such a satisfying job as an installer, lineman, engineer or any of the "fun" jobs. Financial security, family and a sense of pride. None of this stupid modern idiocy deal with. Simplicity.

[@MrShobar]

The NY Central Railroad and Republic Steel both ended in bankruptcy.

[@QuadMochaMatti]

And from what I understand, the "successor" Penn Central was a total hot mess. They should have known it would wind up that way, with the "mating worms" branding.

[@mariogiresi6792]

0:42 Those forklift and warehouse jobs paid enough for a man to support his wife and child on. In 1967 my father had one job, a wife, four children and a mortgage and life easy breezy. And he was considered “lower middle class”! 😂

[@GaryL3803]

Indeed! I was exactly in the track of your father at that time, just a different job.

[@billmoran3812]

The Bell system put untold millions of dollars into the system to make it as resilient and dependable as humanly possible. The only way that could be done was because they had a monopoly on service, and a guaranteed rate of financial return. This is why utilities were allowed monopolies and were regulated. Then in 1984, the idea of opening up the telephone system to multiple companies to allow competition resulted in the end of the regulated monopoly. Predictions of lower costs were made resulting from the completion for customers. Of course, costs did not go lower, but reliability suffered. Money that would have been spent on improving reliability went to marketing. Dumbest idea of the 20th century.

[@RCAvhstape]

Oh I don't know. I kind of like being able to buy my own phone. If Ma Bell were still around we'd all still be forced to use Western Electric wall units that we don't own and which come in three colors: black, beige, and pea green or whatever.

[@kathleenking47]

@@RCAvhstape they had pink/pastel blue/yellow princess phones which lit up...on ROTARY DIAL ☎️

[@VideoArchiveGuy]

Plus all the pure science research Bell Labs did. Radio astronomy was born when Bell Labs researchers wondered what the interference was on their long distance lines.

[@GaryL3803]

@@RCAvhstape A little jaded don't you think? But the premise is true. Deregulation has improved the utility of "phones" dramatically. Who ever imagined cell phones as they exist now? However, the cell phone service is quite unreliable compared to AT&T back then.

[@rcolon5432]

Add to that, greed too to an obscene level that executives now enjoy, while the salaries of the workers that are the Blood, Sweat & Tears, are becoming a joke!

[@dorothydotson7154]

that's the year that Ma Bell "adopted" me. :)

[@danfarley1317]

The Bell System was the most highly organized well engineered network in the world until the Department of Justice got their hands on them!

[@thekaiser4333]

Well, if they didn't, your phone and internet charges would be $3999,00 a month now.

[@THEJET52]

The Kaiser No, you’re very wrong... this was one of the most excellent, economical and service oriented company in existence. When asked “ how do you know breaking up this company will make it better”? The reply was “ We don’t, but we need to find out”!

[@THEJET52]

Our costs today are outrageous!

[@mepperganfortas]

@@THEJET52 you are correct, sir. My guess is it would probably be much better service and half the price of most of these plans today.

[@brycmtthw]

lmao you realize that they caused their own breakup right?? 🤔🤔🤔 and competition is a good thing... if Bell was still together, you’d still have long distance over microwave relay that you couldn’t fucking hear, for our the ass cost. Competition and innovation from MCI and Sprint/United Telephone made them compete and implement newer technologies to keep up.

[@michaelterrell]

I was stationed in Alaska when the tornadoes hit Xenia, Ohio. Our AP mews wire printed a story that 'A steel town in SW Ohio was destroyed'. There were two towns yb that area, In Hamilton and Middletown. I tried daily for almost a week to get a call to relatives in Middletown, only to hear a recording, telling mi that there were no available circuits. The AP did no followup story, so I had to worry about around a 100 family and friends back home. So much for their fabulous automatic route selection. Our military TV station had no acess to the military's secure phone lines, even though noth were carried on the military 'White Alice' microwave system. If it did, I could have contacted Wright Patterson AFB in Dayton to try to reachh home.

[@bretthibbs6083]

this is a cool video i've always loved telephone stuff I had cable tv and internet but now i have regular dsl high speed internet and sat tv

[@seatboi]

LOL

[@wachter206]

7:20 Earliest real time package tracking. Now it takes 30 seconds on a smartphone. Crazy how far technology has come since MaBell’s time.

[@QuadMochaMatti]

Has it really come that far? Life is more screwed up than ever before.

[@michaelgraham3396]

Incidentally (not entirely sure about this), the computer system looks a little like TOPS (Total Operations Processing System), which is still in use today in the UK! Correct me if I'm wrong. folks... Certainly the wagon numbers take the right format (two digit class and three digit identifier), together with the output looking kinda similar to the wagon enquiry samples I've seen.

[@mobile_vic]

I believe that's TCS...which was another IBM product that was the follow-up to TOPS. I simply didn't believe the UK still runs TOPS...and then found out about TRUST, and the strange headcodes needed to book London Underground trains on national rail tracks. Fair play to them dragging the system kicking and screaming into the 21st century!

[@user2C47]

If it isn't broken, don't fix it, even if you can replace that whole computer with the integrated controller of an IO module.

[@marcfield6166]

Just enough to make you miss the good old days when people actually gave a crap.

[@PilotVBall]

Marc Field The good ole days as long as you were white and a man. They weren’t so good for everyone else. Wake up!

[@robozstarrr8930]

@@PilotVBall ...bullshit ....loser

[@QuaaludeCharlie]

such excellent history , I would hope that most of these Systems are still in use , with replacement parts on stand by , this is a much better constructed System of Hardware and Software application than the Systems being built up today , if it works this good - Why move to a Less Stable System ? I would feel much Safer Knowing These were the Systems I Could Count Upon :) QC

[@zo1dberg]

Congratulations! You've been awarded today's "Dumbest Comment On The Internet For The Day!" View this video to collect your award - /watch?v=BROWqjuTM0g

[@QuaaludeCharlie]

I still stand by my comment :) QC

[@desertbob6835]

I worked for AT&T for 25 years, and you are correct. Today's cell phone garbage is NOT reliable compared to the regulated switched network...just look at the stats.

[@zo1dberg]

"Today's cell phone garbage". Apples and oranges. Telephony (if you can still call it that) is far more complicated and customer requirements are far more demanding and diverse than they ever were.

[@desertbob6835]

***** True, but the basic function of telephony, voice communications, has been impaired greatly with cellular. All the "toys" (4G LTE ISP acces, SMS, etc.) are what people want, and pay big money for. They put up with lousy voice service because it's next-to-nothing cheap. Switch and facility capacity has been improved in recent years on cell, but if you want a side-by-side comparison using a wired phone, try calling over the PSN then try using VoIP...no comparison as to transmission quality, reliability and security. Also, with wired-to-wired voice, you have an entire battery of protective laws covering your security that do not exist for cell. Unfortunately, the "flat rate" calling plans on cell make it fairly impossible to make a profit in that business anymore, which is why we end up with scrappers like Frontier taking over VZ's wireline services...they want to start scrapping billions of dollars worth of copper, some of which has been in the ground and up in the air for 70 years..

[@nandanm3826]

Nice & great.

[@jaworskij]

They sure didn't use Technicolor on this documentary film. Eeeks! We're losing so much of our filmed heritage. I was 1 yo. when this film was made.

[@OldsVistaCruiser]

Nor apparently did they use the Western Electric Noiseless Recording system!

[@kenfrievalt7826]

Me too 66

[@daniel-ino]

i looove these old wild documentaries. And especially this one because they didnt include the obliquious trumpet music

[@AureliusR]

Too bad the audio on this is so bad. Would be nice if someone could restore it properly!

[@jvolstad]

I love my ATT Fiber connection to the Internet.

[@thekaiser4333]

Funny, they left out the bit with the NSA.

[@user2C47]

The NSA would just attach their equipment to the phone line if you were suspected of espionage. Actually, most bell system central offices had a test code you could dial that would temporarily disconnect your line so you could check for bugs.

[@Bobrogers99]

Ma Bell, as a regulated monopoly, was more efficient than the fragmented communication systems that we have today. It provided dependable, well-coordinated service at an affordable cost, and its breakup was not necessarily in the best interests of the public.

[@GaryL3803]

For the time, it was remarkable, though I doubt that AT&T could have changed as rapidly if was left regulated.

[@davenone7312]

Anybody recognize Peter Marshall as the guy in the studio dancing and singing? He became the host of Hollywood Squares game show.

[@byrd56]

23:47 - Peter, who lived to be 98 when he passed away on Aug 15, 2024, performed "Personality" (from the 1946 movie "Road to Utopia") alongside the legendary Ray Bolger in a March 1966 "Music from the Movies" episode of the "Bell Telephone Hour" on NBC. Of course, that was just months before Peter became the master of "The Hollywood Squares" when it premiered on NBC that October.

[@jaminova_1969]

The Unfailing Bell System (1967) - 10 years later... Jimmy Carter, "Hold my Billy Beer!"

[@philipmcdonagh1094]

Almost every job in this doc is done by computer now.

[@IamTedV]

Is it just me or is it ironic that the video about how good the Bell system was, the audio sounds like crap? 🤔

[@shockingguy]

It’s also very telling of the time when you look at anybody in these technical documentaries. You will be hard-pressed to find any people of color it was a very white world.

[@AgentOffice]

Black people barely began being able to go to college during the time

[@Steevo69]

Isn’t it sad now that Asians are discriminated against for being successful?

[@badcompany-w6s]

I guess you didn't see the guy in the hospital.

[@ikonix360]

Figured someone would have to come in the comment section and make it about racism.

[@viperch25]

at 11:03 if there is no problems there. then why send a man out there

[@badcompany-w6s]

That computer at the beginning. I think our city uses that for processing payroll.😅

[@aodox]

19:30 -- Slow Scan TV signal, sounds like Martin 1

[@JimmyDoresHairDye]

The computer at 1:11...is that a actual functioning command line?

[@uriituw]

“…one of our men looking for trouble in the neighborhood… finds none here!”

[@bmomjian]

I think that is Jack Lord at 13:35.

[@Zoomer30]

Isn't mid 60s a little old for having a baby?

[@shaggydogg3786]

Zoomer30 that’s funny!

[@brucel.6078]

Back when America wasnt awesome. Not like today 😢🇺🇸

[@solohechos1]

The google of the XX century.

[@lohphat]

Remember when the US actually made things instead of shipping manufacturing jobs overseas for cheaper labor?

[@BigEightiesNewWave]

circuit switched network for reliability.

[@dirkbrockmann1941]

Richtig geil die Technik damals 1++++++++++++❤️❤️❤️

[@coreybabcock2023]

Those hard drives had no dust protection

[@jamesdavis5096]

The audio was recorded on a potato

[@jamesdavis5096]

A high-fidelity potato

[@user2C47]

Or converted with a potato.

[@SkazaTV]

Whats that intro music?

[@jhrvta]

Yea... I sort of dig it... lol...

[@whorton4]

Reminds you of something you would have heard at the drive-in theatre during intermission in the 60's.

[@Microtonal_Cats]

You'd think people with near-unlimited resources bragging about their tech prowess with audio technology could prodou7ce something with better audio. Even in 1967. #BAIAHC

[@scottdevaney3928]

What time does it feels like it was better times back then and more reliable than now you can use 401 and get reliable information did Bell Labs push new technology Nicholas mistake not to leave AT&T as a monopoly

[@johngalt6929]

The audio is unlistenable on this film.

[@edmctug8800]

No chinese junk pipe back then we made everything !!!!!

[@deepspacecow2644]

Corning still produces their fiber in the US. They are an industry leader, not sure what your talking about.

[@daniel-ino]

so many jobs thar were relatively simple but could feed families. What went wrong?

[@deepspacecow2644]

Cell towers and backbone networks still need maintaining. You just need an entry level cert and you can get to work maintaining the net.

[@daniel-ino]

@@deepspacecow2644 yeah ? Could your dad do this work?

[@deepspacecow2644]

@@daniel-ino with job training yes. Just like any job.

[@daniel-ino]

@@deepspacecow2644 also for people with severe anxiety of hights?

[@Zoomer30]

Want to hear a teenager cry? Make them move to Green Belt, Maryland.

[@user2C47]

Why? Is there an old electromechanical CDO there?

[@TechHowden]

@@user2C47 lol

[@markleneker9923]

"Telephone men looking for trouble."

[@edmctug8800]

Ah Great old detroit diesel generators for backup power !!!!

[@georgeniebling6566]

The Bell System .... a monopoly again ...

[@ikonix360]

Which is what AT&T is trying to do, only an unregulated one this time.

[@AgentOffice]

Good to feed telephone men

[@scotty3034]

Yo where the brothers at?

[@mepperganfortas]

Actually, AT&T heavily recruited minorities and women in the 70's and 80's and today.

[@sharedknowledge6640]

AT&T isn’t even clever enough to produce and/or publish a video without grossly overloaded and distorted audio. This is hard to listen too.

[@pressureworks]

5:48 Clark Kent.

[@heatherpearson7083]

It's ok really

[@kd1s]

Oh sure the could not fail but when they screwed up they really screwed up.

[@cllewis1]

13:19 Fourth Wall much??

[@adagueye8518]

Sim

[@mikemac2888]

Doesn't count of you're operating another camera.

[@agy234]

Republic and the pipe mill are long gone, along with all the jobs

[@chriswilliams169]

@12:48 'I can tell" wtf

[@KevlarCondom]

Lol. AT&T on strike in August 2024.

[@Mdfitri-jq6rb]

i think this is sytem very at&t should be the militry that convey information me to my government thanks with this lesson

[@QuadMochaMatti]

Don't forget, go to Kmart and buy some underwear before you watch The People's Court.

[@user2C47]

You want the military to maintain the telephone network?

[@8800081]

Need an additional 25 million on the pipeline, Oprah is firing up her barbecue. 🐖 🥩 🍔 🐔 🐟 🦌🐑🐐🐇 🦐 🦀 Thank God those telephone lines work, I wouldn't want to miss a couple of gay guys bouncing around on the stage.