5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Gave Away My Virginity - My Catholic Perspective

[@m16mojo]

Oh man, your last parody is killing me! I'm never going to get to sleep now, lol. On a more serious note, I could never imagine being with someone that I couldn't fully confide in, and vise versa. Forgiveness and understanding is a strength, not a weakness. God Bless! PS: My RCIA classes start in September, woo!

[@alimariehere]

Absolutely! I wanted someone who didn’t encourage my past behavior, but instead wanted me to be better. Alec has been a wonderful match for me ♥️ Haha and in regard to the parodies, if you get the most correct in the first 48 hours after posting, you would still be the winner!!! 😁🐊

[@alimariehere]

Also! Yay on RCIA!! 😍

[@m16mojo]

My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the black parade. We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet Simple Plan - Perfect Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark I just realized how much this dates me..... Whatever!

[@alimariehere]

m16mojo How does it date you?!! So just the last one is waiting!!!! 😁😁

[@m16mojo]

I know the last one is waiting! Stop taunting me, jeez! Haha. I guess the only one on here that really dates me is Simple Plan. That came out my senior year, and I remember going to see them in concert just after graduation. Ah, good times... Now I'm just a 33 year old guy that yells, "Get off my lawn!" lol

[@alondraceja9618]

My sweet kind boyfriend and I are still virgin and have respected each other’s bodies for the past 3 years. He’s 26 and I’m 23. I honestly can see how God has given us strength and the gift of pure love and joy because we are with each other for who we are and not for any “benefits” that we get by being in a relationship.... There’s still girls and guys willing to wait until marriage. We’ve also considered a chaste marriage, I once read that some couples in the Catholic Church have done it and it could be a great idea because you’ll get to serve God by each other’s side. I don’t know if it could be possible but I’m sharing that because I want people to know that there are couples out there who are different and have different goals in life and that sex isn’t everything. Thank you Allie for this awesome video and for sharing your story with us ❤️ your vulnerability and honesty in your videos makes me admire you so much 😄

[@alimariehere]

Congratulations, lady! That’s so awesome ❤️❤️❤️ Mary herself had a chaste marriage! A Josephite marriage! It would be quite and calling and testimony, for sure! The main deal would be to make sure it would be a mutual decision ❤️ The Lord can make anything happen! God bless you. You will continue to be in my prayers!!

[@MrLobster987]

Remember, though, that if you're considering it, it would also be for the reason of prayer and penance! Bl Anne Catherine Emmerich had visions of Mary's ancestry having marriages of chaste couples, but they would also do a lot of prayer and penance together. I agree with Ali that it would be a mutual decision. Prayers!

[@michaelc4908]

@@MrLobster987 I have difficulty understanding how chaste marriages (meaning here without sexual intercourse) could produce Mary's ancestors. Anyway, there is another understanding of chastity within marriage, which means something like being able to act without lust.

[@supernova6775]

Stay strong it will be 100% worth it

[@ACatholicMomsLife]

Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest!

[@alimariehere]

Thanks, Heather!! Tough topic! I’m glad it came across well.

[@eleje7222]

Never be a sinner

[@alimariehere]

That’s an unrealistic expectation... But to never intentionally be a sinner is a great goal.

[@michaelc4908]

@@alimariehere Umm - usually it is only a sin if there is deliberate choice. If you didn't intend it, how is it a sin?

[@alimariehere]

Michael C It’s like lying by omission... It’s not a mortal sin if there is not willful choice, but failing to fulfill obligations is still a sin...

[@scotthurban1824]

I am a confirmation teacher. We are looking for short videos that give Catholic reasons to counter the hook up culture taught in our public schools. I have sent this video along to them and our teen minister. Most of our confirmation classes speak of church dogma in regards to the basics of the faith but are seriously lacking in this area. Thank you for this.

[@alimariehere]

Perfect!!! I know quite a few confirmation classes use my videos, so I’m hoping this one is a good one! Also be sure to check out Emily Wilson! She has a TON of amazing videos about why it’s important to wait (she waited until marriage). Her purity is definitely a great example.

[@jazmine1447]

I’m a teenager and I feel this is great advice for teenagers and young people. Thank you❤️.

[@alimariehere]

I’m so glad!!! I was hoping it would be age appropriate for a wide range. I feel like years ago maybe it would’ve only been suitable for 13-15+, but I feel like our society has shifted SO much! Was there anything in particular that stuck with you most?? Curious for feedback for future talks. ❤️

[@peterbertanzetti2729]

Great message yet again - I may have my 15 year old daughter watch this ... she may just roll her eyes but who knows

[@alimariehere]

I hope it’s helpful for her!!! Let me know what she thinks! Maybe it’ll open a dialogue between you and her, or her and her mom! You never know ❤️🐊

[@kaitandlima4608]

Yes, your children and all other will definitely learn from you. I thank you again for this video. Your husband is a great person. He is a wise man as he accepted you as you are.

[@alimariehere]

He truly is the best ❤️❤️❤️🐊

[@jasonconcepcion8646]

What a great video:)! You are truly a beautiful child of God!. I’m a born and raised Catholic. This video got me to think about the moment in my life that I fell away from the church for 2 years due to a girl that I was seeing at the time and I thought I loved but I was young and unfortunately slept with her for my first. Since then I came back to the church and it’s a great and amazing feeling and just so you know that your video help me stay on track if I feel that I’m going to fall. Please pray for me and know that I am praying for both you and your husband. If you want to hear my conversion, I’d be happy to tell you and even though I don’t like that moment in my life but it’s prove that if you let GOD in, he can bring you out of anything

[@alimariehere]

I am SO glad to know it is helpful for you!!! It’s amazing how the devil can sneak in and try to justify our sins. Please!! I’d love to hear your reversion story! Message me on Facebook!! /MyCatholicPerspective :)

[@leoleitch5247]

Take no notice at all of any so-called Catholics who try to shame you for your former (forgiven) life.God bless you, Ali-Marie.

[@alimariehere]

Thank you, Leo!! Likewise!!! 😁🐊

[@co6742]

Great video, your outright honesty is much appreciated and well recieved!

[@alimariehere]

Thank you!! I’m so glad. I was actually somewhat stressed/anxious as I was editing and the video was uploading, so THANK YOU for that edification. It settles my heart ♥️

[@JPGoertz]

You are a great and funny person, wonderful and beautiful woman and a truly human Catholic. God bless your path!

[@alimariehere]

Thank you! All by the grace of God. He has helped me grow in ways I never knew possible ❤️ God bless your path as well!!!! 🐊🐊

[@josenilobulao4506]

A very good video for today's teens... I hope they will learn from your experiences... God bless Ali-Marie!

[@alimariehere]

Thank you, Jose! This one took a lot to post, but I do feel like it’s so important. I pray it gets to the right hands.

[@TomLandry1]

Ali - anyone judging you because you made mistakes isn't much of a Catholic. God Bless You for your honestly and transparency.

[@alimariehere]

THANK YOU! Amen!!!! SO many people need to hear this too!!! ❤️❤️❤️🐊

[@marjanezzati3278]

This video really gave me an encouraging boost. There were at least three major things that I relate to and that have really, really taken a tole on me. I can’t even say just how much of a fresh breath of air this was for me, Ali, and thank you.

[@alimariehere]

You are welcome, Marjan!!! I’m super glad you can know that you are not alone. It’s amazing how similarly sex impacts all of us (while our experiences are still totally different)! The physiological responses are fairly consistent across the board! There’s always hope & redemption in Christ ❤️ God bless you in your journey. I will be keeping you close in my heart! 🐊

[@mikewilson6773]

As ever, thank you for your ongoing bravery & honesty. There was way too much in this video that was uncomfortably familiar.

[@alimariehere]

Thanks, Mike! I felt strongly compelled to talk about all of this! In this day and age, it’s never too early to start talking about sex.

[@lindab3340]

This is such a great video. Thanks for sharing tour story and for being so incredibly genuine. It’s a breath of fresh air.

[@alimariehere]

Thank you, Linda!!! I am really hoping it helps someone choose the road less traveled nowadays ❤️❤️🐊

[@karla514gc7]

I'm a cradle catholic, but I can relate to your story so much. God's mercy is inexhaustible. God bless you and your husband.

[@alimariehere]

God bless you too, Karla!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🐊

[@detabernard]

Thanx for sharing it. I am thirty and I have never been in a relationship. I didnt find anybody yet. :-) In the beggining my mom taught me that its not a good thing to do bc of the culture. (I was born in Balcans). When I started to understand things about catholic faith, I thanked God for that and later on, I understood the value of that commitment. Many times I was rejected, ridiculed or even saying that guys want experienced girls. Many times people asked me if I wanted to become a nun bc of that since I didnt have a boyfriend even religious people. I discerned the religious life, consacrated secular life but I didn’t find myself there. I even opened an account in these dating apps and no result yet.;-) I encountered just via app many honest people who say I am not interested and others who are very unrespectful with their words. So, basically I would not judge smb bc of their past, but what vision do they have for their future. Some People even tried to put pressure on me to change that but God prevailed. Personally I couldn’t persevere without His grace. I believed always that chastity is a grace fully free granted (sometimes I feel its like a vocation-grace) by God to some souls and others have to work to maintain it but it is a call for all. This is for sure. Sometimes I interpreted it like the talents in the Gospel. Don’t take it literally and dogmatically. Even if I were a theologian I couldn’t pretend to be right bc its an interpretation. Anyway thanx a lot for sharing this. God bless you and your husband. I understand its not easy to share your personal life bc it makes u feel more vulnerable. I shared this for others. A blessed Triduum! Dont forget; you are redeemed by His Blood.

[@alimariehere]

There’s no age too late to discern a lifelong vocation! Right now, just keep living your vocation as a daughter and sister. Everything in God’s time 💖🐊

[@PursuingSainthood]

Thank you for sharing that. Great video, great advice. Your outtro cracks me up every time. But I know you had to of taken the camera out at least once doing that. Release the blooper reel!

[@56silvershine]

Thanks for sharing and God bless you.

[@alimariehere]

You’re welcome and thank you!! God bless you too!! 🐊🐊🐊

[@inter_1097]

aww.. you and Alec are blessed to have eachother :) The thing that jumps out is "Let he who has not sinned cast the 1st stone".. (John 8:7) Great video!

[@alimariehere]

THANK YOU! YESSS!!! Or “Take the plank out of your eye before worrying about the speck in your brother’s”! We aren’t here to condemn, but to share true and bear witness of the power of the Lord’s forgiveness. I am beyond thankful for everything he has done in my life.

[@jacoblaan3707]

I and my wife were both virgins until we got married. I totally agree with your Catholic position on staying a virgin until you get married.

[@alimariehere]

I love hearing stories of two virgins marrying because it reminds people that it’s not impossible! I have quite a few couple friends who were virgins when they wed, and it’s seriously the way to go. After all, isn’t the whole point that you have the rest of your life to get better? :)

[@pizzapocket7878]

That's awesome.

[@mr.f6215]

Ali-Marie Ingram Great perspective.

[@aliac4391]

It's nice to hear another Catholic with a similar background. Makes me feel less alone. Even though I've gone to confession and regularly go to confession I still struggle with so much guilt about my past. How do you handle that? Do you still struggle with guilt? How do you handle it? I still struggle with forgiving myself even though I know God is such a loving and forgiving God.

[@alimariehere]

Hey Alia!! Yes- you are absolutely not alone. You can send me a message on Facebook if you’d like (facebook.com/MyCatholicPerspective) and we could talk about some specifics!! Journaling and talk therapy has helped me a lot, but there’s also a level of making amends with some people too... I’d be more than happy to chat a bit if you want!!!

[@aliac4391]

Ali-Marie Ingram thanks so much for your reply. Would love to chat but unfortunately I don't have facebook.

[@alimariehere]

Email? [e-mail]

[@Peter-GG]

Thanks so much for making this and answering my question!! It sounds like it really would've helped if you'd been more exposed to a positive vision of sexuality and marriage, and of your dignity as a young woman, etc., that would've given you positive reasons for saving sex for marriage rather than just the negative prohibition against premarital sex. I do think Catholicism is much more capable of this, given the unity we see between faith and reason, as articulated in the whole Theology of the Body, etc. Based on your own first-hand experiences as well as the great wealth of resources and reflections within Catholicism, I'm sure you'll be able to give your future kids something that will strike them as "good news" from the get-go and stick with them in the long run! Also, I have to just say...I can't believe you would get comments like the ones you described around 15:00 of this video. We all share this broken human condition, we all fall short in different ways, and we're all equally dependent on God's healing and transforming grace. Even being self-righteous towards someone based on their PRESENT is messed up, let alone their PAST... Anyway, I'm truly glad you don't let such trolls discourage you. Catholicism is about striving for holiness, which I like to think of as the exact opposite of "holier-than-thouness"! ;)

[@alimariehere]

Thank you so much for the request, Peter! Seriously. It’s an important topic that I wouldn’t have talked about if I hadn’t been asked. Theology of the Body has, too, continued to shape my mind. There are definitely infinitely more finite teachings within the Church. And yes. I was just as shocked by some of those guys. 😂 I just responded telling them that I likely wouldn’t marry them anyway 😁🐊🐊

[@aperta7525]

You have a new subscriber. :) You're a role model with all the human ups and downs. And God's grace, of course!

[@alimariehere]

I’m so grateful!! Welcome ☺️☺️ I’m happy to be able to share life authentically! We’re all in this together! 💖

[@marebare5981]

You are awesome! God Bless!

[@ladym7129]

Ali, thank you for this, thank you for being a brave young woman who is not allowing this society to dictate who you are. What you just talked about here is probably one of the most 'untalked' about topics that I am positive thousands upon thousands of American women wish they had the courage to discuss out loud, and yes- equal amounts of men. I am thirty-four years old, did not live a sheltered childhood that was censored very much, but like you in one respect- the actual discussion about sex and value of self and why it is a special concept, was not had with my parents. This is such a pivotal conversation that needs to take place with our children and cannot be dictated by our past mistakes. We cannot allow this "well, I did it" idea, stop us from teaching our children what actually can happen to them from these mistakes. How can it be easier to have a talk with our kids about using condoms and birth control, than it is to talk to them about having self respect? That doesn't even make sense. As you have stated later in this video- what you choose to do with your body and who you choose to do it with, will stay with you, your entire life. And anyone who wants to lie to themselves about it not affecting them in some way or another- really needs to do some self examination. Often, people will not come to terms with this because they do not want to have to admit to themselves that they made a wrong choice- but we cannot change within our spirit, until we do. I personally know both sides of this sexual turmoil, and to this day, there are times when I just fall to tears after being with my husband, because I am so in love with him- and so sorry that I ever- EVER allowed myself to be with anyone else. I know what real love is because of this man, and vice versa. The mistakes I made with other men, were clouded by creating a physical intimacy with no commitment, and caused a lot of regret, shame, confusion and pain when it was all over. With my husband, there is no confusion, there is no regret for allowing him to have the most vulnerable, private and intimate part of myself. We, as women, need to truly be speaking about this more, and as a mother to two sons- I know we need to speak to our sons about this often. We need to tell them, just as much as we are telling their daughters- that it is far more worth it to wait, then to give yourself away for 5/10 minutes of temporary satisfaction that can lead to a lifetime of regret, and even guilt. We have to work as women to stop this culture of sexualizing ourselves outside of marriage, outside of being a mother, etc. We had the free will to let it happen, we have the free will to stop it from ever taking place. It's due time for a 'Pro-Respect' movement. Thank you, Ali- God bless you! I hope that you are reaching the young women of this world, because there are young men out there waiting for women like them to one day be their wives and the mother of their children.

[@Joyfulminimalist]

Yes! Absolutely. I really wish my parents modeled and taught the sacredness and value of relationships and our bodies. Not in an informational detached way, but in a way where I could have really talked about it with my mother and told her what I was struggling with. There was really no guidance on dating or questioning and dialogue about sex, so I had to figure out dating on my own which isn't always good and can even be dangerous. Thankfully I was attracted to nice guys, but I didnt require a commitment from anyone. It doesn't even matter if your religious or not. I think everyone can agree, it's not the best idea to sleep around in high school, drink, or do drugs. But you need that teenager's heart in order for them to be listening to you. That's a lot of effort on parent's part, but it's necessary. And parents that's just say, well that's part of being a teenager- no, it really doesn't have to be. In fact, if teenagers feel loved and encouraged and are goals-focused, they are more likely to have their life together and gain independence much earlier in life.

[@alimariehere]

Amen! Absolutely!!! I HATE when people say “well, that’s teenage girls for you,” it’s like NO! Clearly there is a different disconnect. Take some responsibility, apologize [if necessary] and change behavior. I’m so glad we found the Church!!! And I hope you have peace with your past as well ❤️❤️❤️🐊

[@michaelsauro3409]

The past is in the past everyone makes mistakes you and your husband love each other for the man and woman that you two are today. Only Jesus was perfect. People should never beat themselves up for the past. Love your videos keep up the great work.

[@alimariehere]

Thank you, Michael! And thank goodness for confession ❤️

[@olivetaelizabeth]

Thanks to you sweetheart, thousands of lives can be impacted for the better, the way to a peaceful and happy life:) You are indeed blessed and by your testimonies you bless the lives of others.

[@alimariehere]

May the Lord's will be done! 🙏🏻

[@19Suzy100]

I did the same thing my first confession. I felt absolutely weightless. Thank you for this video

[@alimariehere]

Absolutely! Thank you for sharing your experience 💖💖

[@SharonCullenArt]

Maybe you can expound on this a bit more because I have wondered about this. You mentioned masturbation. I read recently that masturbation was not even considered as sinful until it became a problem with some monks. And around 400a.d. Or maybe 600 it was written into law that masturbation was indeed a sin because these monks were apparently having issues! Another thing I read was that missing mass was not considered a sin until, the people were becoming several generations out from when Christ lived and were not faithfully worshipping every Sunday. So in order to get people to attend mass regularly they made it a sin. I was shocked when I read this, and thought hmmm. Is this true? And if so, these seem like man made laws. But the commandment about the sabbath and keeping it holy seems pretty cut and dry. But it doesn’t state that this meant worshipping every week. There are days when I can barely drag myself to church because I’m just not feeling well enough to go due to health problems I feel guilty if I don’t go. I know if we are sick we are excused, but boy I think well I’m not contagious, I am just hurting real bad, or have a migraine etc. Where do you draw the line? And I worked as an RN for 30+ years missing mass on weekends I had to work. I could go when o worked in a hospital because they had weekly mass, but my workload had to allow for it, which as a nurse didn’t happen a lot! Anyway if you could look into this I’d appreciate it.

[@ΓΕΩΡΓΙΟΣΔΡΕΤΑΚΗΣ-ω9β]

Hello ! You sing very beautifully ! (I would send you a VERY beautiful song,to learn) Greetings.

[@squint04]

A great testimony, thank you for your honesty!!

[@alimariehere]

Absolutely! I really hope it helps someone be proactive about their decision to wait 💖

[@carlosmolina9698]

I always learning something from you, this is a really nice video i'm sure this is helping or will help to someone in the future because the content worth it, i'll try to help sharing this video. Lots of blessings Ali-Marie! !

[@alimariehere]

Thank you, Carlos!! I really feel like it is an important one!!! God bless you ❤️❤️🐊

[@FrankEnanoza]

Where I am at in my faith journey, I have not thought about the topic of "waiting" for while. While I am not a virgin, I intend to wait. I learned the hard way that no adultary or cheating is not enough. I think lust in a relationship can cause suffering because it creates a disordered way of treating your partner or one's self. I also still think discerning areas like STI/STDs and unplanned pregnancies are not bad. Thanks for posting

[@alimariehere]

I think they both have a place and purpose, for sure! In fact, avoiding talking about the association of pregnancy with sex is a serious issue! Instead of saying “Sex leads to babies, so don’t have sex unless you’re ready for a baby...” they say “Sex CAN lead to a baby, so take this pill to avoid it...” it does not line up, nor is it honest :(

[@raynon72]

I like this video.....worth reflecting and applying in my life..... God bless you more!!!....

[@danielmsms]

I prayed, "give me a Wife..." and Mother Mary did answer "done". Pray is very important. God bless you.

[@borrico1965]

I absolutely admire your honesty and exposing your vulnerability. You seem to talk as if you know very well Pope St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Great video!

[@Arckaro]

We all made mistakes! And God uses our mistakes for the best we just need to trust Him. Thanks for being honest!

[@alimariehere]

Yes. I tried saying that at the end. God does make good from our failures, but that doesn’t give us permission to fail just to see him make good... Does that make sense?

[@Arckaro]

Yes, indeed it makes sense, mostly we also need to learn to love and be grateful with Him for His mercy and love ;)

[@shidalinsohkhwai5399]

I'm from India...nice and meaningful video sis❤️🥰...God bless you 🙏🙏

[@williamwebster7985]

I’ve been leaning catholic for many years. And you’re right; total lie. I met a catholic woman, and we both were virgins. Like you said, fight thing. A man that wants that too. I waited, she waited too. You are impacting REAL lives. Thank you so much! This video really helps. :) God bless. :)

[@alimariehere]

I hope the Facebook group and books I recommended are helping too??!

[@b.s.l.mawphlang676]

👏🏻👏🏻 God bless you Sis

[@SupremeCrusader]

Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty, Ali. God bless you and your marriage. I was wondering if you could give me some insight on an insecurity I struggle with a lot. I am a 33-year-old guy who's still a virgin. Given my age, I've come to accept that if I ever do marry, my future wife will likely not be a virgin. It's just a statistical reality. However, it still scares me to death that she might compare me negatively to guys she's slept with in the past. I would be devastated knowing I couldn't please her as well as the last guy. I've heard horror stories of women getting flashbacks of previous guys while they are intimate with their husbands. I am fully aware that God redeems sins, but we must deal with the consequences of it. I know it is the sin of pride on my part that makes me jealous that she could not fully be mine and mine alone. If it's not too personal, may I ask how you and your husband have worked through this issue? Because if I am ever in this situation, I need to know the right mindset to have.

[@alimariehere]

It’s definitely a tough one. I think it’s an equivalent fear women would have of men visualizing pornography during intercourse... Its definitely difficult to overcome, but it’s something that can hopefully be in open conversation between spouses so we can affirm each other. I think my main advice would be to cross that bridge when you come to it, and trust that God will provide the proper guidance then. They say 99% of the things we worry about never end up happening ❤️

[@AppleZaira]

I agree, that last parody was THE BEST!

[@alimariehere]

😁😁😁😁 It wasn’t until I started looking at the genre that I realized I really listened to a lot of emo music growing up!!! 😂 #worthit 🐊

[@michaelbecansr9843]

Thank you. We need more young people like you. Thank you

[@alimariehere]

May the Lord bring them forward!!!

[@Matt_Reinhart]

You mentioned how it was important to you that you only kiss a man who was your boyfriend. I know a few couples who actually waited until they were married to share their first kiss. They too saw the importance and sacredness of a kiss. maybe you could do a short video on that? the value of a kiss. great video! I love your style and temperament! God bless!

[@alimariehere]

Thanks, Matt!!! I can definitely get that on the list! My cousin actually did this as well as the sister of a friend! It’s such a sweet thing. Thanks for the request!! 😁

[@MyCilita]

I Subscribed! I'm in the Group!

[@alimariehere]

Yay!! Welcome, welcome :) What part of the world do you live?? ☺️☺️

[@_Gaby_950]

Hi, I'm new and I just wanted to say YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET LOOKING AND AAAAH 😭😭😭❤❤❤ God bless you so much for sharing your story ❤❤❤

[@alimariehere]

Hey there! Thank you so much!! ☺️ I always say beauty comes from God, and I thank Him all the time for the joy He has granted in my life which looks good on EVERYONE! 😜 God bless you! 🙏🏼

[@jessicamarie7322]

I understand where you'r'e coming from about confession. However, I have heard many priests talk about there is a difference between confession and counseling. Confession is great but sometimes people could use counselors to deal with past situations.

[@alimariehere]

Absolutely agree! However, in confession you are supposed to list every sin every time you commit it. “I lied 3 times, got irrationally angry 7 times and masturbated 2 times.” That was exactly what I needed for my first confession, and would recommend it to ANYONE who is converting.

[@DTF247Assassin]

I converted to Catholicism in 1997. It was always in my family but most importantly, it was Transubstantiation that did it. I had always believed in it. But FWIW, I am also a lapsed or 'revert' as it were. I went thru the steps of Convalidation and the whole bit. There was one thing you mentioned concerning how some people didn't think your perspective mattered as much since you weren't a cradle Catholic. To them I would smile. Then I might ask them for the 'cradle' perspective. Dig?

[@capecodder04]

Great advice for young Catholics. I'm curious where the name Ali-Marie came from or rather the Ali before the Marie?

[@jocelyneallaire1034]

I hear you sister! I was so naive, I did not know much. Back then I was 18 and dating a protestant and did not have a clue. So, at 18 I lost my virginity. Afterwards, I did not feel good about it.

[@alimariehere]

Secondary virginity is a real thing!! You can start over. Run to confession and confess approximately how many times you engaged in the act & other inappropriate [outside of the marriage bed] behavior. It is amazing how it can all be washed away!

[@filiusvivam4315]

Thanks for sharing.

[@neillondon8709]

Really respect you for this video ... Really want talk to you about this topic ... Its something really hurting me..

[@alimariehere]

Priests are always a wonderful resource too!!!

[@josejoji3487]

Very difficult to understand from my cultural point of view, cause 90% of young people here are virgins and most of them can't think of marrying a non virgin, I am also a devout Catholic who is still a virgin..... yeah I will forgive even if my future wife is a non virgin but I truly believe that it is the greatest gift you can give to your spouse It is like saying I'M FULLY YOURS

[@alimariehere]

That’s amazing!! I wish the US was a little more disciplined :/

[@alimariehere]

Very true! The opposite of the fruits of the Spirit!

[@JDoe-cu1mn]

What you don't understand Ali, is that most people see it as nice that a woman still holds on to her virginity, but if you're a man and you are still a virgin, no woman wants a man that is a virgin. I am still a Virgin and I am in my 40's and when women learn of this, they are appalled and lose interest in me right away, they even look down and talk down to me like I am a child once they find out. How am I supposed to lose my virginity if no woman will even give me a chance? Some people that don't have a problem with me that are already hitched say to me: that's good, wait until you are married, but no woman I ever met would even consider me as a husband and it's due to my virginity. How can you explain something like this? What advice do you have on this tough subject?

[@alimariehere]

Have you fully discerned that you are not called to the priesthood?

[@JDoe-cu1mn]

This is not about religion, sorry I did not disclose that, I am not religious. This is strictly sex and virginity. My question in a simpler form would be: why do women think virginity is unattractive in men. Is it really like trying to learn rocket science? From my experiences; virginity actually prevents you from getting sex once you pass your early 20's when you're a male.

[@alimariehere]

Interesting. I know in the Catholic world it would definitely be revered. I respect it IMMENSELY. Maybe women feel inferior because they have slept with multiple partners? I don’t know you, but maybe it could deal with how it is being presented to them? Is there any particular reason you’ve decided to wait?

[@alimariehere]

I feel like any woman would be crazy to not love that! Not having any expectation placed on them? Not having comparisons? Idk. To me there’s something very attractive within it.

[@alopez4362]

God bless you dear...!!!!

[@LifeWithMary]

i got dirty little secret and check yes juliet. Thank you for sharing your story it makes me feel at ease knowing that eventually i'll find someone. May God bless you

[@alimariehere]

God bless you!! May God continue to guide you in your discernment process ❤️❤️❤️ He will definitely honor your decisions along the way. I’m proud of you!!!! Keep fighting the good fight! 🐊🐊

[@LifeWithMary]

aww thank you so much

[@alimariehere]

I just watched your Intro video! Vietnamese in Australia?! Pretty cool! 😎

[@LifeWithMary]

aww thank you so much

[@aldroidmann4869]

It is also not impossible to stop masturbation. I have Zero occurrence for more than 6 yrs now. Daily rosary prayers, confession, and awareness that god, saints, and your guardian angel are literally watching, which is embarrassing. It's like masturbating in front of people. Do your best and leave everything to God works.

[@nariko47]

Religious or not, choosing to wait (in today's world) can be extremely difficult. Kids grow up so fast these days lol I'm waiting to have sex until marriage and so is my partner. Our mutual friends think we are from the dark ages LOL but that's alright ^_^ our faith and calling is what matters. This is a good video Ali, i hope many young people see it 🧡

[@alimariehere]

I really tried to go through the things I wish I knew. I made SO many mistakes, and I just want to help others avoid those mistakes. Please feel free to share with anyone you may think could benefit from it! It would mean a lot ♥️

[@porkypeter7534]

Of course, I have no right to condemn anyone, but as a person from outside the United States, it still struck me that abstinence before marriage is an impossible task for most representatives of American Christian youth of all denominations.

[@carlospacheco7361]

I'll pray God to give you happiness in life, you are a beautiful soul. Please pray for me I have many regrets too...

[@ligiatelegaru6541]

You are amazing, thanks for sharing, this is so powerful.

[@paddybeme]

That was a really good video Ali and it came just on time so I do have a question and I'm going to open up on this comment (LOL cuz I'm an idiot I guess) so the last three years or so I have really wanted to pursue relationships like you were talking about not kissing and getting to know each other all that ....however how was it different when you dated your husband that he pursued you but without trying to do physical forms of pursuant LOL if you know what I mean kissing or whatever with out looking like he just wanted to be friends because this is where I get in trouble when I will go out on dates Ill try to keep a little distance you know just joke and try to have fun and then at the end of the night when I don't try for a kiss or i havent try to hold her hand during the date it doesn't look like I'm really into her or at least that's kind of the vibe I'm feeling ( or maybe I'm just unlucky LOL)

[@jessicamarie7322]

Over an hour in a confessional?! Confession is a beautiful sacrament, not a therapy session. There are therapists for that.

[@alimariehere]

Oh, Jessica 😂 It wasn’t a therapy session. It was going through each type of sin and recounting the number of times it had happened. It was incredibly thorough. There was no “counseling” involved... Just a really long list.

[@summertime9224]

"Good luck" to the ones who say horrid things about you. I think they like preening around in labels as if they were expensive clothes. "Catholic" can be used like that; as a label for creating self-superiority instead of a way to say that we are in a family together. Christ knew about it. Matt 21:28

[@IstineKutak]

I'm obviously 2 years late, but it's never too late to say 'thank you' and give glory to God! This was wonderful and I would like to use this testimony for the benefit of the young people in my parish. I'd also like to add a point although you kinda touched on it yourself: There are cases where the woman's ability to really love her husband is serously impared if she had sex with others before. Like you said, a part of the soul gets lost, and sometimes a really important part. // It's a little different for men; they get stuck with images and sensations which then compete with their wife. This also comes from pornography and naturally it's a disaster. But the Lord is merciful and has the power to heal anything.. PAX

[@alimariehere]

The information is definitely as applicable today as it was when I recorded!! Please do feel free to use the video however you see fit :) God bless you and your parish!!

[@christinezoghbi4948]

Scars of sin can still be here even if i'm still a virgin! Well i still am, but i have done every other sexual act... im good now, thank God i started over with Him! And i totally get what u felt at your first confession! Im born Catholic but my first "real" confession was like a year ago, it took 2 hours and a half and i walked out finally realising what MERCY really is. PS: Im a new Aligator!💖

[@alimariehere]

WELCOME CHRISTINE! Yes, it is so true. I did a video a couple years back talking about “how far is too far?” and I feel like it ultimately boils down to anything that can lead to orgasm! That is the procreative act, and even within a marriage (NFP practicing, Catholic marriage of course) having an orgasm without it being within the act of intercourse is even considered a grave sin. If it’s not allowed within the confines of marriage, how much more would it be frowned upon extramaritally? I am SO thankful for the gift of confession. I have no idea where I would be without it..... Well, I do, but it’s stuck in that same hole and no one wants that! 😆 God bless you!! Happy to meet you!!! ❤️🐊

[@christinezoghbi4948]

Ali-Marie Ingram yeeyy!! Im gonna watch that video you mentioned for sure!! 💖💖💖

[@alimariehere]

It doesn’t have as much info in it then as it would if I did an updated video now! Perhaps I should :) I have another request asking about whether or not kissing is okay, so maybe I’ll integrate those together ☺️

[@christinezoghbi4948]

Ali-Marie Ingram yes pleaseee!!! I loved how straight forward and honest you are and you say what you want to say clearly! It would help alottt if you did an updated video about how far is too far, cause i feel like if i wanna get into a relationship now i would constantly ask myself if this or that is okay. Doing my researches tho! And i wanna apologize for my english cause im Lebanese😅

[@alimariehere]

Your English is perfect! I would’ve never known! I’ll put something together ☺️

[@JannesonMultiMediaEditor]

I think that virginity is so important to practicing one's faith. But I also feel like there's too much focus on it. And too much pressure on Catholic women to make this choice for Catholic men. And I feel like those teaching virginity in the church haven't followed their own teachings so it's really hard for teens to care or even take them seriously. Something has to change. I was with my husband for 4 years before getting married and we were chaste the entire time and actually has Christians argue with me about why we were making a terrible decision. Saying really dumb stuff like "well you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first right?" Oh and my favorite "but if you don't sin then Jesus's sacrifice was wasted!" Those same men would shame young women for becoming pregnant before marriage. Shockingly hypocritical. Also not to knock your video. Your video is beautiful and your experience is important. But we need more videos about women and men who actually waited till marriage and why it was a good experience. Everytime I went to a sex Ed class or anything about virginity I saw so many videos about "man I wished I had waited." "Man if only I knew then what I knew now." As someone who actually had the goal of being a virgin till marriage and was successful at it. These videos made me feel incredibly lonely. It made it seem like slipping up in the sex department was actually a normal mile stone to becoming an adult. It just seems meaningless now to see all the regret videos. Like so tired of it. Too many adults talking about their premarital regrets.

[@alimariehere]

I totally agree!!! Have you heard of Emily Wilson? She and her husband waited... If you go to her channel and look at her popular uploads, the top on is about being a virgin on your wedding night. It’s a really powerful video! kzbin.info/www/bejne/bIvFqmupmMmisKs

[@JannesonMultiMediaEditor]

I did not know that. Thank you for sharing! Also really love your videos. My husband and I are trying to become educated because we're considering converting.

[@alimariehere]

Let me know if you have any questions that you’d like to hear from me about! I’ll be praying for you as you consider. Check out “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott Hahn if you’re interested in a dramatic and powerful conversion story rooted in Church history!

[@andrewhartigan5342]

CHECK YES JULIET BY WE THE KINGS

[@MMaaddeelleeiinnee]

Not respecting God's will that you're now His and He made you new is not catholic. What would those people say about st Paul? About st Augustin? I also encounter people who slam pro-lifers who used to be pro-abortion - that they're hypocrites. This way what are we believing anyway? All the christianity is about recieving God's mercy and living with no burden of our sins but with "burden" of loving God and rejecting this world. I think such unforgivness is very protestant, talking about "damaged goods"etc. Actually anyone who commits any sin is "damaged goods" and it concerns everyone.

[@alimariehere]

RIGHT?!! It hurts my heart SO much!! People who have had abortion(s) NEED to know that they are 100% ACCEPTED AND FORGIVEN with NO judgement after they have repented! For sure!!!! It bothers me a bunch when people view others as “damaged goods.” So so sad. THANK YOU for being genuinely Catholic! ❤️🐊

[@eleje7222]

Never be a sinner

[@ugotc]

hi grace

[@gracehaughey5982]

hi caleb

[@alimariehere]

Hi Grace & Caleb! =D

[@Keepingitrespectfulmostly.]

Ya too near the lens woman.. There are no decent women left in Britain is my conclusion of searching for one these past years.

[@victoramogu3708]

Why isn't it enough to choose waiting till marriage because sex was designed by God to be shared between a man and a woman who are in the institution of marriage? Why isn't it enough to chose chastity because we love God and we want to obey his word? I've searched scripture and I don't find evidence for this soul attaching doctrine. What of people who were serially molested and raped and even lost their virginity that way? Are they attached to their rapists forever therfore having imperfect and scarred souls? I think if we're saved by Jesus, then we are saved and we are a new creature. Old things are indeed passed away... besides the bible only talks about sex as joining of the flesh, never as joining of the soul. Doesn't change the fact that God designed it for marriage alone.

[@alimariehere]

The "two become one" is generally accepted as soul defined Doctrine, as you put it. And yes- unfortunately losing your virginity in rape ties you to the rapist forever... That's what it's such a horrid thing to do. My rape was a secondary-virginity and it reallllyyyy messed me up for a while. Your statement of an "imperfect" soul alongside rape seems like harsh verbiage though. But scarred? Most definitely... It takes a lot to get past it, and it is a scar that will always be there.

[@victoramogu3708]

Hmm Ali-Marie. These things you're saying have really dark and hopeless conclusions. If I'm born again, the word of God says that God lives in me and I'm one with God. but If i was raped, by no fault or doing of my own, if I was taken advantage of in the past, your conclusion is that I'm one with God because I'm born again and I'm one with my rapist. Sureeely Ali you couldn't possibly believe that rape attaches me to my rapist as much as salvation attaches me to Jesus. But then again, without investigating how implausible this is, why would the bible tell me that the old things which plagued me in my past is passed away IF I'm still attached to my rapist. Then the word of God is not telling the truth. I implore you Ali, think about these things. Our God is a God of love and power. If his salvation is not powerful enough break any attachments (whatsoever, even in the soul ) to my ugly past then he can't be truly God. God's word HAS to be coherent. It can't say one thing and then flip and mean sth else

[@victoramogu3708]

We must remember that God wants others in the world to come to him. I'm sorry Ali but there's nothing redeeming about a saviour who is powerless with our past. But Praise be to the Lord most high. Who shed his precious blood to save us. As the bible has said: God is able to save to the uttermost those who call on him. Beautiful things are described of you in the Word Ali. You're saved, you're righteous in Christ, you're sanctified you're washed in the precious blood. Your past is gone. You're reborn in the image of God. The image of God has no scars. DO we sometimes feel pain from our past, ofcourse we do, but Gods word says its all gooone. In the end I believe the bible over any other Doctrine. I'm really sorry 4 all this long writings

[@TyranyFighterPatriot]

We need some serious legal reform, gender segregation and biological teachings in our schools at workplace and the home if we are ever to make the presence of premarital sex and Contraception to go from 98% of Catholics to.08%. Free will seems unprovable and it's very EXTREMELY depressing for me. I'm one of the few who were loyal. Who kept the sinking ship afloat and now I've just given up because people will always choose to do evil. This is NOT to shame others but to show the destruction that can be mentally and spiritually afflicted on the FEW who were loyal to God and unintentionally deceived by the atmosphere in the Catholic Church thinking the majority cared enough like them. Once someone reaches 18 years I just look at them and immediately act in a manner of having expected that they committed the evils of premarital sex and Contraception. This is why I can't help but scoff at people who shame me for training to be a private military contractor as a Catholic. They don't know the history of Catholic Morality. I'm not trying to "hate" here, but there is a spiritual illness that inevitably implants itself into the souls of those who didn't go out of their own way to invest in such deadly sins/evils, for those few who thought the majority were loyal, respectful and responsible, just like them, it's bottomless. Because they expected to find someone to match their morals. Their honor. Again, not doing this to shame or be prideful to everyone. Despair is most manifested in those under this situation and who quell their abandonment based rage. As a 24 year old male virgin who was ultra conscious enough to avoid relationships even monitored courtship as a defense against these evils, it is particularly, restlessly insufferable. This dreadful pain among the loyalists, and the need of appreciation for those who were loyal but have become permanently jaded (cynical/despairing/boundlessly hurt) for life is *Grossly* ignored! 0_____0

[@knightpsonline]

My chemical romance- Welcome to the black Parade

[@johnnysmit1315]

all I have to say is... dragon tales

[@alimariehere]

😂😂🐊🐊 Obsessed through 4th grade until I learned it was a show for kindergarteners 😉 Even then tho... probably thru 6th 😆

[@julia2]

1. Welcome to the black parade-MCR 2. Check yes Juliet- we the Kings 3. ?? 4. Dirty little secret- all American rejects

[@alimariehere]

There are 5 songs! 😁

[@julia2]

oops haha I'll have to go back. I really like this video though! As someone who has also struggled with chastity in the past and trying to do better now it's good affirmation to not feel so alone in doing the right thing

[@alimariehere]

Absolutely!!! Thanks for playing the game though 😁😁 Next week is another chance! And I’m so glad this resonated for you! It’s all a process, and I hope you have found a way to make peace with your past as well!!! ❤️❤️❤️🐊

[@MouthwashTyphoon]

Ali-Marie Ingram Is the last one Wonderwall?

[@alimariehere]

Nope! Wonderwall WAS however in Musical Monday a couple weeks ago 😉

[@dieselcowboy777]

No marriage is not a merging of the soul....that is a false teaching Many saints in the old testament were married several times....

[@supernova6775]

Plus the Bible says fornicators will go to hell

[@alimariehere]

If they’re unrepentant, perhaps… But nonetheless, that judgment is left to God. Only he knows the depth of the heart.

[@supernova6775]

@alimariehere scripture is clear

[@supernova6775]

@alimariehere "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [a]homosexuals, nor [b]sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God."1 Cornithians 6:9-11. You are right though if someone truly repents then they are forgiven.

[@jane9875]

crazy catholic shes nuts

[@billyhw99]

God rewards patience? Look at your life. God rewarded your promiscuity. The only only reward actually faithful people get is a heavier cross to carry. It's not something you could ever know or understand.

[@alimariehere]

My promiscuity was absolutely not rewarded. It had natural consequences of unnecessary heartache & more. Being sexually prudent is NOT a heavier cross... Quite the opposite- it is incredibly freeing! No worry of STIs or an unplanned pregnancy in a non-committed relationship (something that weighs heavy on ANY girl's mind) ... Being someone who has acted in both ways, I CAN know & understand it... And I'm telling you you have it backwards.

[@maryvictor1739]

GOD BLESS U. GOOD THINKING. AND WHEN U REGRET WHAT HAPPENED & BECAUSE LOCK OF INFO OF YOUR FAITH, YOU STILL CONSIDERED A VIRGIN & PURE. ** THE TRUE AND POWERFUL CONVERSION STORY: the 2nd part: March, 2022 Thank GOD for our LADY of GUADALUPE; when I visited her Shrine in Mexico in Dec. 2012, and I was suffering at the time of "Sleep Apenea" I was healed really while still there - FRARNKLY, my first intensions were to honor her. †Also, when I prayed few Rosaries to help me to quit smoking cigaretes on May 17, 1998, she answered my prayers immediately, though I was SUPER skeptical at that time. †Truly, when I was inspired to recite one single Rosary in December 12, 2000, I was healed from my unbelief (Jn. 14: 1) - and I tried at the time first to pray OUR FATHER, but I couldn't remember the prayer; and GOD still saved me! Also During my first Holy arosary procession outdoors on May 13, 2001, I saw Queen of the Holy Rosary walking with us for 4-5 seconds; And she had long, dark, blue dress & absolutely attractive one. †Also in 2003 I heard very sweet voices a few times singing above my bed as I awoke in the morning, and they continued for nearly 5 seconds. †Since my conversion, I try NOT to miss attending Masses weekly or daily etc. And I pray the Devine Mercy Chaplet at 3:00pm for years, and I NEVER miss it. †UNDOUBTLEY, Reading & meditating in "Gospel of life" according to the daily readings is like my "daily bread" And I read the Bible from cover to cover 3 times since my conversion (Jn 14: 23-24)! & I read CCC as well, (Is. 55: 10 -11). Also, I like to what some one says: every winter turns into spring. But "The fool says in his heart, "There is no God"(Ps.14:1) †Unfortunately, many "Catholics don't know what they have, and Evangelicals don't know what they are missing!" †And I used to attend few different Evangelical Churches for a few years searching for TRUTH while residing in Stockholm & they opened my eyes a little bid to the faith at the time. † God is still in the miracle buisness. And thank God for the most holy ROSARY prayer, etc. Psalm 107:13 - 14)" †"BROTHERS & SISTERS PRAY FOR ME THAT I MAY NOT FLEE FOR FEAR OF THE WOLVES [terrorstes]," (Psalm 107:13-14)" *"This is the day which GOD hath made a day for us to REJOICE & be GLAD"-Ps.118: *worthViewing:kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXmvn4aQrsp-m7s †By Saba Korial, MIC, & I was born in Middle East in Palm Sun., now Christian CATHOLIC & Canadian. (2 Tm 2:4 & 4:7). Note that the Name of God is mentioned 3 times while praying the ROSARY as follow: first the LORD, then the name Jesus & GOD. * INDIAN FILM STAR : kzbin.info/www/bejne/lYaXg2CAmMuNa5o *"A BELIEVER IN HIS KNEES SEES MORE THAN THE PHILOSOPHER ON HIS TIPTOES" - D.L. MOODY) *kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIu7eYuOqbqsqbM SHARE WITH FRIENDS 1. Google the following words: "99+ EFFECTIVE WAYS TO EVANGELIZE AS A CATHOLIC"

[@josenilobulao4506]

A very good video for today's teens... I hope they will learn from your experiences... God bless Ali-Marie!

[@josenilobulao4506]

A very good video for today's teens... I hope they will learn from your experiences... God bless Ali-Marie!