Atlas - My Body Is A Hell

LYRICS
and i've been running out of patience
my poems aren't as clever anymore
people say they're all too honest
but honesty is all i can afford
and maybe loss is not a bad thing
'cause maybe i can write these songs again
or maybe now it's just a pastime
maybe i should treat it like a friend
a friend i won't see again
i don't wanna die
but truly i don't wanna be alive
i wish that i could vanish in my sheets
and turn into the puddles on your street
'cause i don't wanna die
but truly i don't wanna be alive
i wish that i could vanish in my sheets
and turn into the ground beneath your feet
'cause i've been losing all my knowledge
sometimes i forget who i am
and i'm in the mirror
but i don't recognize that man
and my mom wanted a daughter
but she'd think it was absurd
'cause as much as i feel different
family won't accept those words
they won't love me if i'm her
but i just want to change
and everybody tells me it's a phase
i don't feel right as myself
with my failing mental health
and i just want to change
but everybody tells me it's a phase
i don't feel right as myself
my body is a hell

[@fanoftheterror]

To the dude who was jamming this on roblox in that wasteland game- I miss that day. And I miss you. I hope you're doing okay man

[@eatmyredacted6138]

Me too

[@ilovechrisdrew71121]

wait a second

[@ilovechrisdrew71121]

WTF

[@fanoftheterror]

@@ilovechrisdrew71121 huh

[@ilovechrisdrew71121]

@@fanoftheterror I was doing this awhile ago idk if it was me you saw or someone else

[@leftylewis9574]

Found this when I was in 11th grade on Atlas' KZbin Chanel, missed it when it was deleted, I will never forget this beautiful song, thank you atlas !!

[@prohikikomo]

Jesus man, after reazling I was trans, these lyrics hit so hard. I hope my family will still love me if I'm a her.

[@spaloogaloo3705]

this song is literally how i realized

[@notian7265]

i was in denial for years and my sibling new before me cus we listen to the same music lol @@spaloogaloo3705

[@bigwinterhat]

atlas is also transfem, which looking back on this song, feels so much more poignant to her past works

[@Langeta-kun]

Why isnt this on Spotify. I want2listen2it

[@aaronflorian8150]

Because copy right

[@blazeajpw8341]

Sameee

[@nickkuwajima5736]

Because they stole the song

[@Sunflwrd]

@@nickkuwajima5736 yup thats why it was deleted originally

[@q4980]

@@Sunflwrd who is the original?

[@bloodyhell8524]

This didn't hit as hard in middle school when I didn't know I was trans, but shit....now it hits like a truck

[@r7skt]

Same here. I listened to the first verse and was like “yea that’s relatable” but I wasn’t ready for the second verse to hit as hard as it did. Listening to this in high school when I’ve finally started taking steps to make myself more comfortable with my gender this song really resonates.

[@janeisnotokay3284]

I started listening to Atlas right around when this was released. I'd known I was trans since the 6th grade, but never had the courage to come out. I used their music as a coping mechanism for a long time. and now I'm finally me almost 6 months on estrogen :)

[@prohikikomo]

Jesus I feel the exact same.

[@prohikikomo]

@@r7skt literally same position. In high school as well. "They won't love me if I'm a her" is such a beautifully painful lyric.

[@StealAStarrr]

my mom told me when i came out that my sister was supposed to have a twin, then she said maybe that twin was just born a bit later

[@natejones541]

finally found this song again after months !!! couldnt remember the name or melody but seen the cover of a tool album and it just triggered it lol

[@piegolem2266]

Holy fuck I gone with this so much. I think my family will be kinda okay with me when I'm her, but idk, still spooky.

[@DontJinxItYet]

Dat lateralus visual tho

[@victorvaldez6543]

Khal I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed 😎

[@KingAgito01]

We love u Luna

[@nckfstr1]

Sounds just like sub bean every day by worst party ever. Still love it.

[@7layerburrito]

Nick Foster OMG THATS THE FUCKING SONG I WAS THINKING OF!!! thank you so much i thought i recognized the chords

[@ahaha1855]

bro legit was about to say

[@crackedoreo5459]

thats because it was stolen or somethin there was a whole thing bout it. idk all the info tho i just read a bunch of comments so i may not have my facts straight

[@6-1-6]

that's the intrumental

[@leftylewis9574]

​@crackedoreo5459 I think it was just parallele thinking on Atlas' part. As soon as he was made aware it was too similar, he deleted the video

[@skincells]

my dysphoria

[@weeniehutjoker]

etc

[@ed-boy]

wow i love this song, good job!

[@ikennagreen7683]

Hello future me

[@elirines5088]

a rip of sub bean but still a good song

[@synova2374]

The original was taken down because of that, all that is left are re-uploads

[@characterplaylist208]

Listen to other atlas music tho

[@elirines5088]

@@characterplaylist208 oh i have, i fuck w it 100% but i just found this so funny because WPE are slowly becoming my hometown heroes

[@White_Ivy_]

sigh

[@axzblade]

this pic is from tool

[@zactyler4026]

atlas but also tool

[@nickkuwajima5736]

Fuck I love WORST PARTY EVER

[@leftylewis9574]

This isn't worst party ever but it does sound like sub beam

[@noahdrutis5952]

Worst party ever 👉👈🥺

[@shaggers8041]

72 sub

[@zactyler4026]

god is in the brain

[@Chrys_Olina]

me when gender dysphoria:

[@joey6819]

This guy sounds like luke trepp from tik tok

[@raymondbulte3891]

holly whitaker dude he sounds like atlas from tiktok!

[@jurian8620]

well he did a cover of the song.

[@KYTEBEATS]

wtf he copied worst party ever

[@synova2374]

The official version of this song was taken down due to the artist not crediting the music correctly, he did so afterwards and kept the song down.