AuDHD: When Autism Meets ADHD

[@neuroticnation144]

My therapists didn’t know about my ADHD or my autism. I would be so painfully depressed I could hardly speak and they would ask the suicide questions. If I wasn’t in the middle of planning suicide, it was like they had no interest in helping me. Towards the end of my association with this organization, they kept trying to get me to go to group, I said I just couldn’t do it. I tried it once and it was a nightmare. They wrote in the notes that I was being uncooperative. 30 years of dealing with these people, not once did they suggest I might have autism or ADHD. They made me feel like a head case! I learned to hate myself and feel ashamed. I grieve for my lost life, the years I could have spent living, I spent dying instead.

[@sharonvaldez9059]

I’m 49, and I relate to everything they are saying.

[@kawag6356]

Totally relate

[@sharonvaldez9059]

I went a facility for 74 days. They showed us films about autism and dyslexia during one week at clinical’s. I related to this in such an odd way. I was there at my own request. A psychiatrist 12 years ago diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety (panic attacks), Bi-polar. I have had about 7 different changes of ADHD meds because they started working in reverse. My counselor told me in passing that I wasn’t bi-polar but had Borderline Personality Disorder. I was shocked and at a loss for what that even meant. She basically told me that I didn’t have autism or dyslexia and that I had a short amount of time to get serious about my recovery. Her condescending look and tone made me shake inside. I can’t read and retain and I started to explain this and ask for “permission” to listen to an audio version of the assignments. She said I was trying to find anything wrong to not work on myself. I had a panic attack and the tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my face…in the middle of group. I kept going back to the bathroom and telling myself to get my shit together. It felt like I was right back living at home as a teenager with my alcoholic- raging -father figure. The same watery eyes were looking back at me in the mirror…and yet, here I was 30 years later…a grown ass woman and I crumble at someone being arrogantly direct and I start bawling. I went there for rest and to find out why my ADHD was so crazy and not reacting to meds for long. Everywhere I saw the word Austin…it looked like the word “autism” to me. She refused to let me switch counselors as she was the Dir. over all of them. Everyone said she was the best. After all, I’m the one “in” the program. I’m supposed to test for autism in a couple of weeks…I decided I wasn’t going to listen to her and push toward what I felt. I realized today that I believe my husband has Asperger’s. I think my father figure did as well. Both were extremely emotionally abusive. My husband stopped drinking liquor a few years ago, and doesn’t have all of the anger outburst like he did, but I still feel my stomach clinch as soon as he is home…I still feel like the other shoe could drop at any time. I also discovered “Casandra Syndrome” today. Talk about an epiphany! Keep me in your prayers, or cross your fingers lol…just feels good to hear someone else relate. I’m glad I didn’t let her break my spirit. I’ve worked for CEO’s that had the God complex. I didn’t want to let my emotions get in the way…as she had told me I couldn’t believe my thoughts or feelings. She was wrong. She actually lost her right to practice in our state…it had nothing to do with me. People in places of power with a dark heart, never leave you feeling at peace. Sorry I guess I’m processing…didn’t plan on this being a novel. But then again, I’ve heard that’s an autistic trait lol. Even if the tests conclude I don’t have autism…I know all of the epiphanies I’ve had while researching numerous videos was confirming I’m on the right track. Thanks for sharing…I needed that.

[@sharonvaldez9059]

I know what you mean about grieving your life. I think I’m going to decide to start living it. I also relate to group being a nightmare. Everytime I shared, I was redirected to talk about the point of our conversation. I thought I was. She also told me that all of this “poetic speech” stuff was an act. I was being my true self. I closed up and didn’t have the growth I could’ve if she would’ve listened to me then. I even told the psychiatrist that we saw once per week that I felt like I was right back in school and taking the wrong message from what’s actually being taught. Especially the worksheets that we were times on…while they were still talking 😖 I couldn’t concentrate, AND the building we were in was an old fire station so EVERYTHING ECHOED…including the 40 people that would talk at once, or doors slamming. I desperately needed order to feel like I had some control of looking at the big picture…but nothing I did would allow me to apply that organization…and OMG, all the notes I took…😩 They were multiplying like rabbits and I couldn’t keep a system to save my life. Ooooof!

[@elwyberge6286]

I relate so to this❤️🙏

[@imtheeternalscholar]

Why call it a “paradox” when it genuinely feels more like a split personality constantly fighting each other?!?!?!? For me, personally, my ADHD is the angry teenage rebel and my Autism is the “real” introverted self sitting in a corner trying to make sense of all this 💩

[@kawag6356]

Haha same

[@discountvalium9484]

I've been "officially" diagnosed with ADHD, but have been finding myself question more and more if there may be a bit of an Autism aspect going on, I think this is such a perfect description!

[@t.terrell7037]

Well said…..

[@Grace.allovertheplace]

Actually same! I was diagnosed 10’years ago with adhd and only this summer 2023 approximately 7m ago I was diagnosed with ASD. And to me I feel more in tune with my autism than my Adhd, and I remember making a point about this *dilemma* 🟰 whether or not is should say: I’ve Autism (ASD) beneath/besides/under.. my adhd!* (or if I should mention adhd before autism/but as mentioned I understand myself and I’m able to work more efficiently on specific areas I’ve not been able to identify before in the same way as I can now when I’m “allowed” to use autism terminology… (I assume I’ve sidetracked myself in this comment but I hope it make sense anyway, if not I apologize in advance 🙏. Respectfully, Grace🩰

[@Popellum]

@@discountvalium9484 same! Also just ADHD here

[@chesneymigl4538]

I'm almost 40 and have just been diagnosed AuDHD. Being "gifted" sucks. As a child, my mother was told I couldn't be ADHD because "girls don't get that". I had no idea just how different I was, I just knew I was weird, picked on, and generally ignored. I did well in school. I got my BS, MS, and LVT. Things should have been going well but that's when I couldn't keep the mask up anymore. I'm now barely functioning, unemployed, and wonder if all the goals I had in my 20s were just lies. I've tried to explain to therapists and family that I need help, but since Im so "normal" looking my depression is dismissed. I'm told I'm just not trying hard enough, or more recently, that I'm using my diagnosis as an excuse to not work.

[@kawag6356]

I feel this

[@Truerealism747]

Do you have pain symptoms with your burnout

[@troywhelply6742]

I feel this so much. 45, not formally diagnosed with AUDHD, but identified as neurodivergent by several MH professionals and AUDHD is by far the best fit. My life makes much more sense through this lense. Also did well in school and even athletics, provided they didn't require too much coordination, which is a long way of saying swimming and track. I even enjoyed a measure of professional success. So, I couldn't possibly be autistic or have ADHD, definitely not both. The last decade has been hell. Two divorces, at least 6 job losses, occasional "invisible homelessness" as well as bouts of on-the-street homelessness. I live in the U.S. and the healthcare system, especially for mental health, is a joke. I have been under the care of psychiatrists and psychologists for 15 years and have been diagnosed with clinical depression, bipolar l, and narcolepsy. I need help: an accurate diagnosis, proper treatment and therapy. But to get this help, one needs private insurance, for which one typically needs a job. I tried to take care of this from April-October while I was working, but there were numerous obstacles. It's considered inappropriate to take time off when first starting a job, even for medical reasons. I struggled with work, even though I was in a role that I had 15 years of experience for. It took over a month to see my PCP so I could be referred to a psychiatrist who didn't have an opening for another two months. By the time I got in to see her, my 6-month contact had run its course and was not renewed. Along with the job went my insurance. Absolutely no progress, but I did manage to burn myself out thoroughly and I got to try out a new antipsychotic for my "bipolar." It caused extreme, uncontrollable rage. Good fun. Nearly got shot by the po-po. I even requested accomodations from my work, under ADA. I was given 7 days to produce documentation of a diagnosis and an accomodation plan. I told them that my psychiatrist retired last year and that I had lost my copies of the records due to a personal tragedy (both true) and that I would need more time to produce the requested documents. They replied that I now had 6 days. News flash: your employer doesn't give a dam about you. Plus, if you're a little "eccentric " they will actively try to get rid of you. Expect plenty of "random" drug tests, and don't you dare arrive 1 second late, or call in sick. I believe they're even challenging my unemployment claim. Real gems, those folks. I feel cheated and duped. Why didn't anyone tell me for 45 years? This information would have been really useful. I could have potentially avoided so much crap with a little knowledge and appropriate therapy. I have zero tools for this, as all the ones I had already obtained were for NTs. I find myself in a situation where if things don't pick up real soon, I'll find myself homeless again. Bah! Sleeping indoors and eating every day are pretty bougie goals anyway. This got long, and I forgot what I was trying to say. Gonna hush for a minute. Oh yeah, I was, of course, a gifted kid.

[@jamiezuzu7326]

@@troywhelply6742 I just wanted to tell you, I resonated so much with your post, thankfully, at 37, my parents still help me financially, ( my the shame tho! But I’m so grateful as well), I know the mental health ‘system’ is god awful, I know what it’s like to feel alone, and angry no one told you, I feel so bad for young me, I just wanted to tell ya your not alone, I really wish you well, I haven’t gone through everything you have, but some I have and I know how much it hurts and how frustrating it is

[@johnrice1943]

​​@@troywhelply6742 thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it. We are very similar. I was going to jokingly ask if you are me from 6 years in the future. Lol.

[@MDiL22]

I was also abused as a child, along with my siblings. The "my parent were not equipped to have kids let alone 7" remark almost made me cry. I have always said that my parents had no business having 5 of us. I am so sorry that you experienced that

[@gmar7836]

I am so sorry. You deserve better. Have you tried an emotional support dog or cat?

[@gillb9222]

I have started wearing autism and ADHD badges to make it public that I'm not NT because I look like I'm functioning and people treat me like I am, but I'm not. People have expectations about how my life should be and how I should interact with them. However my needs and capabilities are very different from their expectations. I hate being in society, it's exhausting and I end up feeling 'less than' whenever I engage with it. I'm happy at home, happy alone, happy being pretty much non-verbal except talking to my son (sometimes. He is AuDHD too) and my pets. I honestly don't want people in my space and I don't want to be in theirs. I'm hoping that people will generally leave me alone if they know I am ND and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to meet a couple of people who are ND too so I do have some healthy connection (that's definitely a secondary aim though). I want to be able to go out and engage with the planet but not with people

[@gillb9222]

Funny listening to you talk about spending spoons on productivity and interests and having none for things like showering. My current special interest is my dogs but I have to walk them really late at night etc because I don't have the energy to do the self care to leave the house in a socially acceptable way. If I do it late at night I can just put shoes and a coat on over my pyjamas, not worry about brushing my hair etc. I like in pyjamas at home because they are comfortable and easy to change. Literally I take my night-time pyjamas off and put on a pair of clean, daytime pyjamas and I'm 'dressed'. The pyjamas are pretty amd match so I don't have to think about what to wear and they are comfortable on my skin, are made of material with nice textures and they are comfortable in terms of temperature regulation. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to wear pyjamas to go outside, who labelled it to say that a certain style of clothing is socially unacceptable just because they say so?

[@MsLizziebeth1]

@gillb9222 - 😁 You don't know who decided about public clothes? (Ultimately the Gen-z socialites who make nothing/have no jobs, but feed...) the sicko fashion industry. That's who. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@reynewan999]

I could suggest to seek people with similar strong interest. I found friends within historical reanactment group, i guess most of them or even all are autistic. However, now by 4 years of having a child I dont have any energy to meet people. But maybe taking part in some events again, tents, campfires, maybe it could help me a bit with burnout...

[@danielaruhl1710]

❤ Thank you two for showing me that I am totally „normal“ regarding me being 100 % AuDHD. Starting to own my weirdness at age 49. ❤

[@planetacuchi]

Me too! 45 and finding out the "why's" !!!😱

[@jenn1663]

Coming from an AuDHD person, stimulants tamp down the ADHD symptoms and I do get the quiet brain effect, BUT it brings all the autism symptoms front and center. Specifically, if you have a special interest stimulants can make it damn near impossible to switch away. For me task switching in general has become even harder then it was before (so only take the meds after you have the work you are planning on doing open and in front of you). Also, I tend to get even more inside my own head when I take it, which isn't always great for any current relationships, and my overwhelm in general is worse (especially sensory related things).

[@kawag6356]

So true for me as well

[@cody_go_create]

Bang on

[@violetkitt2371]

This. I am no longer on meds since being given adivan for a melt down. (Pre auadhd diagnosis) - which set my mind and body out of control. I couldn't verbalize and panic took over. Ultimately I hit my head on the wall really hard trying to turn off, had a code white called, got accused of burning bridges, and got hit with a bpd diagnosis. Four years later, I was diagnosed with "rare form of female ADHD" through a sleep quality study. It's 10 years later, now and I am self diagnosed with autism, with melt downs on average once or twice a week this time of year due to the increased social requirements.

[@Nickolas_Baranski]

Oh no, does it mean that there's nothing to help me with actually doing tasks?😭 I suspect I have AuDHD, and not gonna lie, life is pretty unbearable right now. I hoped that maybe if I ever manage to get ADHD meds, it might help me focus and finally do stuff to survive, but after reading your experience I feel like there's no way out💔

[@jenn1663]

​I just recently got put on effexor xr and gabapentin. The effexor is for my social anxiety and definitely helps with that but I would only recommend it if other things don't work because it's really hard to get off of. But, the real surprise for me is how well low dose gabapentin has worked for task switching and doing things I don't want to do because of getting "stuck" doing something else or because of anxiety. I take 200mg (2 100mg capsules) in the morning and it REALLY helps me with task switching. Just plan to take it at least an hour before you might need it to work (it lasts for 6-8hrs) and it's fantastic. So maybe talk to your doctor and see if that is an option for you. I know it doesn't work for everyone but for me it's been great.

[@kade7153]

There were so many things from this podcast that made me feel seen, particularly the setting a routine, getting slightly thrown off, and never being able to pick it back up again and having to come up with something new. I thought I was going crazy, nobody in the autism or adhd communities would talk about it! Learning the terminology for the dual diagnosis has really helped me understand myself more. Thank you guys for posting this.

[@mina.458]

I have just been diagnosed with AuDHD and there are no support groups etc. where i live. These kinds of videos and podcasts have been so helpful for me to understand all this, all though there really is not too much info about the dual diagnosis. So thank you. I'm 33. This is so wild, my life will hopefully now change for the better.

[@rickyeaton8974]

i had psycosis which is how they found me - how did you get your diagnosis?

[@DamianJohnson-xo3ez]

@mina right there with you I recently found out and yip in Africa we don't have the support... These podcasts are helping ME so much.

[@Crazydude10001]

@@mina.458 I agree we need to stick together

[@thegracklepeck]

This is very relatable. Like I've met plenty of stereotypical autistic people but I'm female, likely also ADHD and I didn't get my autism diagnosis until I was in my early 30's. It took that long. And I know I'm not just that typical presentation. So what I struggle with isn't what other people necessarily struggle with. Previously I had been considered "gifted". But I can't hold down a job. I didn't finish college, despite having managed to get a scholarship. And I've got other health issues on top of things. I'm not like neurotypicals but I'm also not like a lot of the images people think of when they think "autism" or Asperger's. Because I'm usually well spoken, people assume I'm capable of a lot more than I tend to be. It's really frustrating.

[@Brainalicious]

I get that. I masked extremely well and did well in interviews. However, in daily practice I was overwhelmed all the time and couldn't sustain working in a busy multitasking office environment.

[@steveneardley7541]

In high school, I occasionally did really weird things--usually involving absurdist humor. I did something similar in graduate school. It kept people from making too many assumptions about me. You are not seen as a comfortable person, but at least it keeps people from putting you into a box that can slowly strangle your spirit. I suppose it isolated me, but it also gave me more freedom to be who I am. And I made friends anyway.

[@missfabidia]

My life story...

[@tristanwebber4434]

Mattia....when you said 'that describes my twenties' I was like 'yup me too'. Going all in for a creative project, to the expense of all else, and then crawling into a cave to recover for a week or more. But what you can achieve in the 'productive' phase...can be quite amazing.....thank you both for a great talk, so much that resonated. 🙏

[@kendalgroner9327]

I would say being both autistic and ADHD has made medication a real struggle for me. I have terrible side effects from SSRIs and they worsen my ADHD symptoms. With stimulants for ADHD, my sensory and interoception issues are so bad they're literally not worth it in terms of how much they help me productively. Healthy diet and exercise helps me. I love certain herbs and I've gotten into meditating lately. But having both is such a challenge for work. I'm pretty sure I cry at least twice a week over trying to transition or multi task. Thankfully I work remotely 😂.

[@UnaLichtlein]

Feel you, same here concerning medication. 🙌

[@Dancestar1981]

Bet that explains why SSRIS make me worse even though I’ve been on them for over twenty years and can’t get off them

[@kawag6356]

So true for me too

[@tiptapkey]

SSRIs were so bad for me too. I was taking Lexapro and it got to the point that I couldn't remember why I walked from one room to the next almost every single time. My brain was constantly spinning spinning spinning.

[@postmalonalisa420]

My goodness Lexapro and coming off of Lexapro would have me questioning dreams from reality

[@launacasey6513]

Mattia's experience sounds very similar to mine. My mom had a total of 8 kids, I had sensory and emotional meltdowns that were not tolerated which let to me shutting down, I was hit and punished for things that didn't make sense to me, etc. Oof. I really can empathize.

[@humanBonsai]

What a fascinating conversation. The conversation about positive aspects is wonderful because we need to still talk about our positive attributes while avoiding simplistic superpower nonsense. Mattia’s Friday burnout symptom checklist is pure genius. What a fantastic autistic life hack. Thank you so much both of you. (Edit) Anna Meredith ‘Nautilus’ hits the button especially as the drums come in, as you say. Autism and music is such an intimate relationship.

[@cazcat92]

❤️

[@iPsychlops]

I relate heavily with the experience of needing to listen to podcasts to get things done. Like showering. It's hard to shower because I don't remember and it's boring and cold when I have to get out. It's easier when I'm listening to a video or audio book or podcast. I need more information going into my brain.

[@TibiSum]

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar twice in the early 2000's, then mid 2000's were all about the GAD/MDD, and now that I've been in support groups for people living with CPTSD and DID, the former being the current formal dx and the latter from a psychologist, but not official, I understand that I am an originally neurodiverse in some way and then there was a lot of developmental trauma heaped on that. It's not ok to me that we have had to go through all of this. I am 47 years old and have done a lot of healing. I'm not even really that angry with my childhood abusers from within the home. What I am angry about is the systems. School, docs. They were not the experts they presented themselves as. They were not accessing empirical information that was already available to them. They did not care about research that was already producing therapeutic results for people who's brain wiring had been affected by developmental trauma or the ACE scoring that could have helped children like me have our abuse at home dealt with and then the ND could have been assessed individually so that there could have been supports. I cannot forgive the bystanders and these experts who exploited children like me with their random-ass tests. Nor will I forget what I saw happen to other children beside me who had struggles at home and perhaps their own ND being put on ritalin and othered, but no move was made to check out the social determinants of health surrounding them. Those experts were not just wrong. They were dangerous. A lot of us have given up on trying to make sense in a world not built to include us with devastating results.

[@Hopeful-Agnostic]

I'm obsessed with Mattia's wall color lol 🩵

[@Atypicalkid88]

Very soothing

[@PlanetEarthLifeSkills]

I want to thrive in an environment where my contribution is of value, rather than struggle to cope in a society that at best wants to cure me or train me to fit in, blend in, and be normal.

[@MLHeavyInd]

@@PlanetEarthLifeSkills This ☝️

[@MLHeavyInd]

This ☝️

[@markcarr68]

I'm a 54 yr old ADHD,OCD, CPTSD, adult PTSD,. anxiety disorder, panic disorder, depression, maybe hsp but after 100s of hours of video, I have no doubt that I'm 99%AudiHder(no one's %100 anything) of a 17 year old son with the same challenges. I was not diagnosed ADHD until my early thirties and thanks to you guys on KZbin sharing your stories and taking lots of tests, I don't know how many of these id have to ace, in order to be believed, but I don't care. I'm tired of being on the outside for 55yrs.and have been fighting with 8-10 diagnosis' on my back and that many titles following my name, it's been quite the challenge. Even my mother poo poo's any of these existing, other than in my head.... camera pans to mother in kitchen... Mother in the background, yelling at everyone "Who would, but come near Lair while she attempts for the thousandth time,to prove that she can multitask a 5course buffet style lunch for 5, piping Hot.and on time all at once. How many did you spot in that short and likely confusing mom description can you pick out from that alone. Sweet mother of God, they're all that way, Grandma and both of moms sisters were all I experienced after my dad died, besides my Pa', who despite being a Pentecostal preacher and pillar of the community, who never figured out that he'd get double out of me, if asked and maybe 1/4 out, when he yelled.whew.. Maybe one could become an hsp with ptsd, by repeated exposure, either way, look at my primary school pics, just 2nd thru 6th grade and tell me that kid ain't miserable - my son's mom drank and pilled herself to death, out of nowhere her organs began failing one by one, she knew what was happening and was ready to come with me to meetings, while working 60 hrs plus, upbeat, workweeks, felt flush and never saw her beautiful boy after that. Id had custody since he was 3yr old. I was sober by age 5 and his mom passed at age 8. I hear people talk about how hard being a parent has been and I'm like, huh? Its been pretty much a no brainer, autopilot kind of thing. Be the dad that you miss, never say because I said so, read him to sleep every night, past when their "too old for it", always treat my kid like id like to have been treated." It's being on my own again that sounds scary. I realized me

[@markcarr68]

....yeah he's a ramblin man,.....that mark guy is. I just realized that my thoughts are ever changing comic panels, for a movie script mock up, and I'm seeing every possibility,, ln full technicolor moving display, whilst trying to retain whereand what it was, where you started. where every 3 sentence, I start over. Oh poo, meandering mark is at it again. I apologize. Mark will attend his first neurodiversity online meetup tomorrow....I drive myself crazy. While I love, sharing with you guys, I much rather decompress.,..bye

[@muncman4644]

I think this is one of the best comments in the entire internet

[@Maderlololohio]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom w us. I needed to read this comment as a single mom of 3 boys. They each have their peculiarities and so do I. Told them never get meds use a good and healthy diet and excercise. I take long walks does me a world of good. Reading Murakami all his novels gave me a sense of what is 'normal' magnesium for 4 yrs has been helping me slowly crawl out of the hole caused by 1 mth meds and dv. Cheapest lowest dosage mag from discounters. Yeah sorry I rambled too but I will reread and cherish yourself comment and you are never alone w good online communities ❤

[@markcarr68]

@@Maderlololohio thanks so much .

[@jenniferpresnell4437]

I moved to MInnesota in my early 20s (and still live here) and was diagnosed AuDHD on Friday of last week. You made the first explanation of what the heck is happening with adults here that actually makes any sense. I moved here from the east coast, where people are more direct. Such a confusing place to live. I also made a lot of people cry when I first moved here by talking (nicely) about business and not having a chat about the weather first (on the phone with a total stranger).

[@jamiezuzu7326]

I could NOT deal with that lol

[@vazzaroth]

AuDHD too, also REALLY thought I MUST be bipolar after reading about it but for YEARS I wondered why I only related to maybe 40% of the bipolar descriptions out there. Then I learned about ADHD and strongly related, and then Autism and mostly related, then AuDHD and 110% related! Finally! I have the exact same issue with being seen as gifted while also REALLY struggling with other things. I've noticed I have extremely competent conceptual recall. If I hear of a system or concept or school of thought, philosophy, math system etc, then I will basically be able to recall that almost exactly as I learned it even 10 years later. But I am 34 and STILL, and never will, memorize the multiplication tables. Specifics just don't stick in my brain like that, and so much of what makes someone employable is remembering specifics and workflows. It's so strange to be able to do something extremely well once, then never again without a lot of support like instructions, someone to ask, etc. And dont even get me started on sleep. I'm writing this 2 hours before I was supposed to wake-up b/c I couldn't sleep correctly after Daylight Savings. Edit: OMG I kinda miss lockdown so much, I keep thinking that. Very interesting interview and Mattia was great!

[@Maderlololohio]

Magnesium has been helping me w that the past 4 yrs. Nothing fancy cheapest lowest dosage from discounters. Progress is slow but it's there long walks in the morning get me going. If I don't have that my chores at home do not get completed.

[@MadelineTasquin]

coming back to this video months after it changed my life... I've since had the gift of having three 1on1 sessions with Mattia, and became a member of "Like Your Brain" (their Patreon) and being a part of the Discord server has been the greatest gift. Watching it again as I write a post that I may or may not publish on my music blog ("if I feel like it" 😂👌) ... it's more of a collection of the memorable points along my self-discovery process about the AuDHD experience and increasing awareness of neurodiversity. Anyway, while I'm here, nodding & laughing along, I wanted to write a comment to thank you thank you thank you deeply Thomas for having Mattia on and for your channel and just for being you. Sending so much love to everyone watching & commenting & rippling neurodivergent magic into a humanorganism that will benefit so deeply from "accommodating" it.

[@tamalthor697]

40:00 for years I use to describe my brain as a business person and an artist battling for the control of my time and attention. People would suggest ADHD, but that didn’t exactly match, and others would suggest I was autistic, and some things just didn’t quite work there. Only recently was both suggested to me, and that has just changed my whole world

[@noahskold2398]

I’ve been searching for this exact type of video and topic for so long!! I love that you talk about what techniques doesn’t work for you as well. People often talk about going on walks and breathing to get away from the anxiety but that doesn’t work for everyone Have a good day❤️

[@SunShine2024-t2w]

This is so helpful thank you.Learning more about ADHD and Autism and realising in my late 60s is quite a shock but explains a lot ❤

[@KatjaTheAutiArtist]

at the 50 minute mark, Thomas, you described my everyday struggle. I didn't really think about my paralysis to start on something I want and love could be due to transition issues.

[@noobsmoke79]

My stimming is getting worse. It’s so difficult to mask. I keep blurting out my “made up” words when I am stressed or anxious, which is constantly. My stimming does keep me from having meltdowns, though. My last one happened almost a year ago. I also don’t feel “gifted” as even doing and learning simple things is such a struggle for me. What a living hell 😢

[@Maderlololohio]

I wonder if smth natural like magnesium could help calm things down for you. I have used it for 4 yrs without it I go off at people. It keeps me calm helps me sleep through the night as well. It should not be high dosage or expensive just get low dosage cheap as possible not even from pharmacie get it from discounter like shops. Now it's not magical but I do notice it when I don't take it for a couple of days. When you start feeling queasy use it every other day. All the best ❤

[@kawag6356]

AuDHD here too! 36 with four teens who are all ND, this is so overwhelming but life changing, learning so much about all of us and I feel so guilty for not doing the right things for my children.

[@karenyendall7511]

❤ This is an excellent podcast for validation of the complex internal dynamics of AuDHD. Although we're all uniquely different, it's as if you're telling my personal story. Thank you for sharing ❤

[@chasityyoung815]

What a great show! I just found your channel. I just recently was diagnosed with ADHD, and complex PTSD. I had a depression and anxiety diagnosis as a teenager. Tried many medications for depression, with no luck. I also have opioid use disorder due to becoming addicted to pain meds from a car wreck that left me with a permanently injured back. I am in MAT treatment. I have had great success with the medication. I still felt incomplete. I blamed it on my depression. I even sought out Methamphetamine and was amazed. I knew I could not continue that road with my addictive personality and trauma of addiction related guilt, shame, and just all around bad memories. While using meth I was able to eat like normal, go to sleep like normal. My house was clean and organized, I was very involved in family and helping others. I was always put together with my hair, makeup and clothing. My family bragged on me. I wanted to cry. If they had known it was because of meth their opinions would have quickly changed. I removed myself from the source in which I was able to get the meth and joined the gym, and took interest in a couple of hobbies. I haven't been able to forget the way I felt. I miss the feeling that my puzzle was complete. The missing piece I had searched for and needed for my entire life. I just started straterra, but I feel no improvement what so ever. I know my road to the proper treatment won't be a smooth one. I can only hope that I have enough patience to go through the trial and error I could experience while finding my end goal.

[@johnrice1943]

I was diagnosed ADD at 12. Coffee is the only stimulant i like. I've been misdiagnosed all kinds of ways, over the years. One shrink i saw for a decade who was pretty smart, finally said he believed i have Asperger's as it was called at the time. I agreed but didn't understand the significance. sadly, he's dead now. I'm only now realizing fully that i am AuDHD. Now that more info is out there, i am finally learning how to help myself. And just understanding myself. That's huge. I've been failed by every part of the system, like it was purposely designed to screw me(and people like me).

[@neridafarrer4633]

Oh my God YES about the sexual assault! No one other than me has ever voiced anything about that, that mirrors my experience! I got sexually assaulted SO MANY times, as a young, homeless, traumatized autistic female AuDHDer! Thank you for voicing that! So helpful. I have had trouble knowing how to think about and feel about that stuff. Some of it was very obviously rape but some of it I just wasn't clear about it coz Ive been very alexathymic. I got sucked into an abuse relationship with a man twice my age after that, and had, 7 children, myself. I wasn't abusive like your parents though, and yet, I'm autistic and ADHDy and I have cptsd so, obviously, there are lots of difficulties there and I'm sure some of my kids, at least, have felt like I was, because coping has been very, very hard, over the years. I'm also a musical AuDHDer and my youngest son is as well. We have started singing together, recently. My kids are all grown. Youngest son is just hitting adulthood now. I think I'm a very loving person despite everything, but I mirror others emotions so people being bpdy, narcissistic or just dysregulated affects me deeply and I can be a mirror for that, especially as a younger person when I didn't have a clue about myself and I had had an abused and neglected childhood and adolescence. I really loved this interview! I saw so much of myself, AND my children's experiences too, as having 6 siblings, all of them, with much neurodiversity in nearly all of us.

[@kawag6356]

Totally same here

[@NightMystique13]

Wow, your life is so much like mine. Sexual abusers seem to target us.

[@leilap2495]

Whoa! I was in Iran for a year in high school (because I was sent away), and that Minnesota “guess?” culture was there too… I did not do well in that type of culture either. I was already miserable before I went there. What got me through it was being in an international baccalaureate school full of nerds, being united with my obviously neurodivergent cousins, being in a place where I have so many new experiences, being anonymous in a big city, and being away from my invalidating dad.

[@ellegrrace]

I remember struggling so much in school. Females at the time with ADHD went undiagnosed whereas all the guys got help because it was predominantly outward. I feel as though females mask it (even though I used to exhibit behaviours of boys), we must be calm and collected. It’s only until I got into secondary school I was so far behind in classes. Although I was excelling in Art and English, I was failing in Maths and Science. The school system affected my confidence and self-esteem so much. It genuinely made me feel like I was stupid because I could not comprehend simple instructions on paper and through reading. I got distracted, got put in detentions for interrupting in class, being rude but just being brutally honest and blurting out what my head felt to the person but not understanding why I could not understand others emotions in the way I wanted to or feel a connection to it. It was only until I was 19- when I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, that things began after my parent witnessed my controlling behaviours of my routines and around food. Essentially controlling what set time I would go on my walks. Just being obsessed with routine. I was so so confused! After a long process of handing in various childhood and throughout school I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and ADHD. He asked me which one I would like to treat 😂well hun BOTH 😂😭😂NHS for you

[@Lynee5290]

So much of this conversation resonates, so many layers starting to make sense! Thankyou ❤

[@ThomasHenley]

You're so welcome! 😊

[@missfabidia]

Thanks so much Thomas for sharing your experience about social expectations, I can relate so much. This exactly what Im working on right now : detaching :) Like Mattia said, a lot of my anxieties come from outside forces who expect us to do life a certain way ( including those who want the best for you)...At the end of the day, what really matter is how we feel ❤

[@bethhollingsworth]

The forgetting to eat one is the worst for me... and I forget to drink too. I've been loosing too much weight and then with the sensory issues sometimes that makes it even harder even if I've remembered to eat. I used to think it was an eating disorder but i desperately wish I could eat the way I used to. After years of neglecting my stomach it has shrunk so small i get full on 4 nuggets. And as much as I try to set a routine my ADHD side says "F" that! Have fun passing out randomly!

[@steveneardley7541]

I have no thirst response, and this ends up giving me kidney stones. I monitor the color of my pee carefully, and force myself to drink water even though I generally don't want to.

[@bethhollingsworth]

@steveneardley7541 I really feel that. Just remember you are worth the extra work it takes, even though I know our "meat-suits" don't always feel like a part of us

[@KAMALA_2024]

This so resonates with me, especially your comments about being poked by others for not fulfilling their societal expectations of you. I face that often, in my family and with colleagues and I don't think people realize how much that can mess with a person when repeatedly poked at them. Thank you for posting this video. It's nice to hear from people who understand how this all feels. To have some support. I have a people in my life who don't believe I have ASD and have called me lazy, uninterested, arrogant (for being quieter than others), the list goes on, and that's absolutely not the case. If people held space for neurodiversity, it would help everyone involved, not just the person w/ASD.

[@darkmoondoll]

I can so relate!!! I don't have the 9-5 body . I am going to check out that band mentioned. Matia Maria was a great guest. I am going to look into getting an assessment for ADHD. My assessment for ASD is next month. Thank you for all that you do🦁

[@jmaessen3531]

Oh yes! Thank you, this was a quote I wanted to remember as well. I'm glad you mentioned it... Because I'd forgotten to write it down 🤣

[@EarlCo]

"not giving a shit at what anybody thinks and just doing whatever I want" 💯

[@jahbloomie]

Holy mackinole! This broadcast is now my ultimate breakthrough. I am hearing you describe traits I presumed were idiosyncratic! This is huge for me in a very, very good way!

[@MeredithDomzalski]

OMG, I hovered and saw Mattia so had to watch this because I know them! I started this and added it to my watch later, and it will probably take a while for me to get back to it, but I'm looking forward to it.

[@mazzmuse]

This is so good. Thank you for having this conversation. Looking forward to following Mattia as well. Their experience seems to mirrow mine more than I've found anymore in this exploration journey I've been on.

[@Redmage913]

AuDHD here - or at least Autist that Concerta Works On - in bed, I have to involve my brain with something active, yet utterly familiar, in order to fall asleep. I’ve therefore Pavlov’d myself to fall asleep with my (formerly a DS, then a PSP, now) Nintendo 3DS handheld, playing games I know by heart that also don’t mess up the game when I fall asleep and drop the console. Otherwise, I’m too aware of my environment and having the active urge to go to sleep, keeping me alert, uncomfortable, and unable to fall asleep. Hydroxyzine helps with the process as well, as a sleep aid.

[@kawag6356]

Same

[@mischemixDJacademy]

Love this thank you both so much for sharing! I’m Audhd and 3months into post diagnosis do still getting used to living with these wonderful attributes.

[@hmterbune]

You both are very kind to each other discussing this aspect of the brain

[@BreeeYT]

Having an all 3 podcast would be awesome

[@CaptainKobi]

massive THX

[@markcarr68]

I played to over half a million people over one summer. The crowds varied from 8000-16,000 average, and up to 30' ooo at one stadium show. Ask me to pull out a guitar, and sing one of my songs to 5 people id probably throw up. The stage is my comfort zone. My music and words are too naked and exposed to the 5 listeners, where I could blend in with my other 3bandmates in front of massive crowds, knowing we had each other's backs. I trusted these guys and I'm sure I wore them out, with, "my issues" over the years. Brothers fight, but we actually played together for 22 yrs. About 20 yrs longer than both of my marriages lasted. Art, music, anxiety, performance, philosophy along religious history, and scholarship. Oh and a Bonus fact that I've been sober 11 years after self medicating 30+ years, psych drugs didn't get me high or ease with any help. I've also had custody of my, almost 17 year old son, since I left his mother after his 2nd birthday, because he took smart and perceptive for his age. I've also stepped from my committed Christian, ministry minded suffocating religion and have been deconstructing the past 20yrs. I had to choose a higher power and the old path felt like a foreign language where I had to gue.....oops, someone's over sharing.. I'm not autistic at all😅

[@Spmama444]

Thank you this was so information!!! We have an amazing therapist for my son and she specializes in this because she loves it with her friends !!!

[@davidkohn1845]

Thank you for calling out. How bad, minnesota is with autism. This year, at the age of 45, I was finally allowed testing. Thank you Disability courts for denying my claim and saying all those things about me in court. I had to show my cptsd Therapist the court transcripts. To prove their doctor said that stuff. So thank you. Now I can get the correct help I was denied for now 46 years.

[@tiptapkey]

19:35 I also had an incorrect bipolar diagnosis. It was so destructive to me for about 6 months because they put me on meds that made me feel dead inside. I kept complaining about feeling dead inside and the prescriber would just come back with like "but are you depressed?" and no I wasn't depressed or happy or anything else. It was a nightmare. She thought that meant the drug working. I ditched her and that drug and now I'm unmedicated and extremely hesitant to try to find another doc. These professionals can be so awful sometimes it's mind-blowing.

[@usernamelessish]

The song Mattia recommends is a banger, and the video is mesmerizing. Who would have thought a music composer would have such a great recommendation? Thanks for the in depth chat, it was a nice listen.

[@jenn1663]

I've yet to find a single therapist who can tell me how to cope with anxiety that I don't know I'm feeling until I'm in complete shutdown. If anyone has any tips please share.

[@kawag6356]

Same ❤️

[@cmills9923]

Extremely sour candies or lemon juice have helped me immensely when I need to refocus back into the present. It at least gives me enough time to get out of the overstimulating environment, which is usually what the problem is. I like to keep a pack of sour patch kids or lemon wedges in my bag before I leave for situations I know will be difficult. Lemons for super bad attacks and the sour patch for the lower grade stuff that slowly ramps up in places like farmer's markets or something. No one thinks twice about someone eating a candy from their bag.

[@MDiL22]

I am a self-diagnosed AuDHDer. Right off the bat, the feelings of unfairness at the sensitivity of our bodies comment was so validating.

[@meeerdock]

I liked it ,as an asd/adhd i can relate to her descriptions of her inner world .

[@Flopsi80]

This was incredible helpful, thank you both so much!❤

[@Popellum]

Listening to this, taking notes, actually feeling good about finding more and more people like me. Im ADHD and undiagnosed ASD. Tapping my fingers and my feet, because I ALSO at the same time want to listen to music and scroll tiktok but I cant focus on the video if Im listening to music. Forcing myself to watch this video I actually want to listen to. Totally relate on this with transition-difficulties aswell. Like I Want to go to the gym and I love it but just also want to be at home in my safe place.

[@Lorra]

This conversation was so helpful ! Thank you guy so much

[@andreaking2358]

Wow it’s so weird listening to people speak about Audhd, and feeling like they are speaking from my exact experience 🤯

[@turtleanton6539]

Always a great channel mate

[@linali2506]

I'm listening this while working, and had a lot of expectations. Don't know, but as a ahdh + autistic myself I'm a bit tired of talking about it through personal stories about struggles in the childhood. It's like an endless story typical for most of us: early signs, late diagnosis, etc. I hardly understand people, but it would be better if conversation like this concentrate on how to deal in future than how hard it was in the past. Thanks

[@danielgardler]

i was diagnosed in 2018 for autism and am still on the waiting list for adult adhd testing (4 years on the waiting list so far) and listening to them talk is just like hearing what i try to tell everyone on whats going on in my head. also the hearing things like "i want to see how it effects me" is so relatable and i was worrying recently that always viewing myself that way might actually be harmful

[@danielgardler]

probably shouldnt have started commenting half way through but yeah that allowing sad days or sulks and the weighted lap pet explains why ive always put my coat over my lap when out or i have a blanket on my sofa for when at home that i just pull a corner of over me if im too warm

[@danielgardler]

also did the blood tests and found way too much calcium got drs soon for hyperparathyroidism, is there a link between these illnesses and neurodivergency?

[@wanderingpanic7429]

I think there's a definite misconception of what autism and ADHD is even when trying to get diagnosis or in the medical field

[@Skye-g6y]

Thank you!

[@missfabidia]

Learning point : Understanding how depression and anxiety work will not alleviate it. Plus you dont really know you have anxiety until you almost have a panick attack...

[@sarahconner726]

I never realized how much my nap training has helped me until now. I'm from an AuDHD family and if you were at home after lunch, it was quiet time. You either nap or spend quiet time in your room. Y'all, I'm an expert level sleeper.

[@danielgardler]

will be recommending this video in particular but i recommend your videos to a lot of people just questioning and carers wanting to know more

[@JamieHumeCreative]

I live your testimonial commercial. Thank you. And great podcast. Subscribed.

[@Sunny-kl8wy]

Stimulants for ADHD increase dopamine. That is why it calms the brain down. Adhd ppl are frantically searching for dopamine seeking and that causes anxiety. Dopamine relaxes the mind ❤imo

[@Thareldis]

When it comes to Music I'd have to recommend stuff like "Kvitravn" "Fylgjutal" or "Helvegen" from Wardruna, or "Anoana" from Heilung. At least for me old Norse inspired Music that has a lot of tribalistic sounds and instruments, combined with their style of singing, helps a lot to get into a meditative headspace. As a nerd with roleplaying and historical events as one of his special interests, that style of music is kinda obvious. But also Synth Wave like Tonebox works wonders.

[@sarahferrell5458]

M-I love it that you SWEAR!

[@daresaryan8229]

I'm Native American and myself and my children are autistic and most likely ADHD as well. Talk about a moms bleep 😭😭😭

[@lauraw.7008]

52:26 oh my goodness!!! Having routines just disappearing! 😮 always thought something seriously wrong (my ex would agree) with me that routines suddenly disappear !

[@Grace.allovertheplace]

50:13 Hi, it may seem weird to some - but you made my day. I have felt so alone in forgetting to eat, I really don’t have any other person I know off who like myself have both autism and adhd! I typically eat once a day approximately around 8-9pm. When I begin to write/ practice my vocals/just singing 🎶(that besides the point) most days I find myself loosing time when I start what I’m supposed to do, and when I finish writing it’s *literally gone 8-10h* and that’s my baseline. I’m ofc passionated but, I need to make an important distinguish here, and that’s I’m do not do my normal day to day with any hyperbolic intensity that potentially could come across like, (what I’d imagine) someone having a manic episode potentially could come across or be feeling. I don’t have any bones in my body where I feel specifically inclined to max myself out, *no-no* (but ofc that does become the result and loosing weight, (I look ridiculous now) But it’s what it’s! (= I’m working on it! I was diagnosed with adhd 10 years ago and with autism 7 months ago, so I try my best to be as kind as possible to myself 😇). *I know a lot intellectually but my emotion appears to be my driving force!* And *I too feel more in tune with my autism than my adhd!* Respectfully, Grace🩰🎭

[@lauraw.7008]

18:11 my dad used to say I was like the classic absent minded professor.

[@ThaSeshGremlin]

I’m absolutely mind blown this has made so much sense and has explained so much, thank you so much 🙌🏼🤟🏼🇦🇺😶‍🌫️

[@j.s.c.4355]

I believe the online tests are totally diagnostic, but that the makers and the people who link to them don’t want that responsibility.

[@lizzypop2628]

I completely relate to loving travel- fewer tasks to choose from😍

[@jennifergreggerson6225]

You mentioning dbuds might just save my 9 yo's sanity and school experience ❤❤ I've been looking for something noise cancelling that is comfortable, she says the big headphones are too tight 😟 THANK YOU

[@chrisb9445]

It's a craziest thing wanting organization, structure and not being able to actually do it consistently. I like talking to people, but its exhausting trying to keep up the mask of normal. Like dont talk too much about your interest, but still try to seem like you're not this hermit. Being in a relationship but wanting to be alone some days. I dont know who I am some days

[@johnbillings5260]

I'm working on getting diagnosed, but I am very certain that I am AuDHD. I constantly feel the push and pull between structure and novelty and it is very tiring.

[@ruatapungawhare-pounamu4050]

It is a weird thing to balance “Audhd” i can see both in I but literally on a seesaw. It’s hard to hear neuro-typicals calling it a deficit in a derogatory way and the ridicule that asd has gotten over the years. I personally would not give up the gifts that come with either hence no adhd meds. I have over the years tried to find a synergistic way forward with Audhd and am loving the mystery of it all. Thanks for listening you tube comments.

[@alexdiaz4296]

Agreed! Flowing is the way

[@DamianJohnson-xo3ez]

Love you two.... I live in such confusion.. My ADHD just couldn't never be medicated.. Its scary how many times I can relate. Was diagnosed as bi-polar, manic, twice as psd and multiple personalities... I still struggle to find space for me in most situations

[@awesomeness6252]

I am very intelligent and my family could never understand why I can’t keep a job and go back and forth. My time blindness and awkward relationships with coworkers mean jobs don’t last long.

[@tilldeathdouspartharmonytr9829]

Hello 🙂 I think the reason official diogenes is so important to us because its validation of us as a person after years of struggling to fit in or not and the trauma of not understanding yourself on top of the rest of the world becoming frustrated with us not typically fitting in etc. It's very important to us very💯

[@allie54774]

I'm audhd & totally thought I was bipolar in my teens 😅 luckily I didn't get a misdiagnosis of it though. But I'm also still not "officially" diagnosed with autism or adhd yet either.

[@adrianavanleeuwen7981]

Thanks!

[@sammalsikuri3828]

Hi, I'm still in the middle of listening (great stuff so far) but I wanted to real quick talk about the mention of immigration policies regarding autism. I'm genuinely curious where Mattia heard "a bunch of European countries", as someone who is European and has been thinking of seeking an official autism diagnosis for a few years (I already have ADHD thankfully), who wants to live outside my country someday and thus aware of the discrimination policies with immigration and autism, I've never heard European countries mentioned anywhere. I'm genuinely curious both so I can check it out for myself for details + preventing the spread of possible misinformation. I've only heard of Australia and New Zealand before regarding this, and a quick google search and few pages do seem to mention them consistently along with Singapore. USA, Canada, and the UK got mentioned a few times, but not as consistenly (as in, every time) as the other three. I think this is definitely good to be aware of before one seeks a diagnosis, but I think it's also important we know what countries it involves and what it doesn't. I just wanted to mention this in case there are people who listen to this, take it at fact and avoid seeking diagnosis that they otherwise would. 😅

[@cristinaroe2166]

When I took ADHD medication, dexamphetamine, it was like a miracle drug for the first few times, way better than any antidepressant. Unfortunately, my body gradually acclimatised to it and it became less affective. I got to taking a very high dose to be able to concentrate and focus on computers but then the side effects were really kicking in. When I asked the Professor if I could take them as and when needed, I was denied, which seems crazy cause I would have taken the lowest dose necessary. Thanks for your content both of you.

[@mydogsareneat]

I got a brain injury from a car accident as I was formulating how to get diagnosed. I'm still not diagnosed.

[@cheriastrahan8453]

I know what’s it like for a family member was put on the autism scale and later found to be ADD. This condition seems to fun in my family when I look back at growing up. Two of the family with autism had severe ear infections and ruptured eardrums as babies and also had severe allergies. I have ADD but always seemed to get things done on time at school and work. Three of the families involved also were geniuses or almost so. Out of the box thinking led to some scientific good stuff. Our families also is full of engineers and mechanics And wood workers. Music also helped bring development in me and several others. One of them had grades change from C/Ds to the honor roll once given a keyboard with built in music; playing Beethoven in 3 weeks and going on to become a composer! That’s my families!

[@yoni-in-BHAM]

Lol, my autistic side loves routine, and likes to finish projects no matter what. 👍🏽 But my ADHD side wants to take away my focus and wants me to bounce from one project to another...🤸🏽‍♀️ Meanwhile my OCD side is like * did you lock the door? What about the windows? * 👀 * Did you lock the door? What about the windows? * 😵‍💫 * Did you check the stove? Make sure it's off! * Didn't I just check the sto...* Shut the fudge (I really do say fudge) up! Check it now! * 😣

[@ThomasHenley]

I love this! Thanks for sharing

[@yoni-in-BHAM]

​@@ThomasHenleylol, I was going to mention that my depression is like "what's the point in all this, why bother?" Life is haaaaaaard!!!😫

[@suejohnston9968]

Exactly. And I seem to be interested in far too much so I never get to "special interest" level as I did when I was young. That was heaven. I just collect projects, organise them, but barely them. So frustrating.

[@craigistheman101]

The irony of this subject and the length of this video

[@ogs1mpson609]

If you already have a problem remembering when to eat, maybe starting on amphetamines isn’t a good idea

[@whoolawoop6817]

Reminds me of the Homoeopathic principle of treating symptoms with drugs that bring about the same symptoms in healthy people.

[@3X3NTR1K]

I also got tagged with bipolar instead of AuDHD at first, tollowed shortly by another doctor that completely disagreed (but still didn't get it right). Here's the funny thing though: the first doc gave me Abilify, which is literally the opposite of a stimulant. And it actually DID help... by clearing up my decades-long brain fog. I have NO idea how that happened. I don't think anyone does. It was after two weeks of use (with nothing else) and then lifted very suddenly. After the 2nd doc I stopped taking it and but the effect stuck ever since. On stimulants properly now, and my AuDHD isn't in question (because an actual diagnosis is elusive and maybe pointless??). Not exactly sure why the fog set in the first place, but it coincided with undiagnosed and uncontrolled diabetes. That's probably relevant. Anyway, just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone.

[@dsam3]

Great episode

[@andreagoldsworthy8736]

Trazodone has been a life changer for sleep - also INDICA gummiesssssss

[@andreagoldsworthy8736]

And podcasts! Also on KZbin vagus nerve sound bowls, rain machine

[@steveneardley7541]

I was also a terrible vegetarian, and developed a b deficiency and anemia. I take a lot of vitamins now , especially Bs, also magnesium. I supplement with blackstrap molasses too. I'm not sure what's in it, but it helps. Drinking more water is very good for depression and anxiety. If I feel a sort of anguish in my gut, I know that I am low in Vitamin B6. There's no overdose on Bs, so take a lot. Anxiety uses up B vitamins so anyone suffering from chronic anxiety needs to take Bs every day.