Aug 6 2020 - Unlearning judgement. Doing rewiring at a higher weight.

[@KatieRingley]

Tabitha show us your home and pets hehe. I’d love to know you more. You’re such a fun personality. We quote you in our home frequently :)

[@600grit]

Tabitha, I'm unsubscribing, but not in not liking you. It's a good thing. Because I'm moving on past all this and don't need the pep talks anymore and don't care to think about all that anymore. Yay! It's amazing how simple it becomes from how entrenched it was

[@milaliah]

congratulations, i'm so so so happy and proud of you!!!!

[@cari8792]

It’s hard to trust your body when your body is attacking itself (autoimmune) I’m so lost on what to do with my diet. I want to recover and feel human again!!! ❤️. Thanks for your videos, Tabitha!!!

[@melworsfold9935]

I too am in the phase of having gained weight but not yet rewired and it is awful because I keep going back and forth from recovery to restriction. I have to keep coming here to watch your videos in order to stop myself from losing my shit, I gave up on the medical professionals helping me way before COVID was a barrier and decided that I would need to do it myself if I were to do it at all. I did it once before but stopped gaining at a lower weight than I am now and this time I shot above it and freaked, I went back onto a diet. It sucks! I was craving Victoria sponge cake yesterday but couldn’t allow myself to eat any and I swear this needs to end, I did actually go back for some but the family had beaten me to it. So I am sitting here now saying to myself ‘Melanie, last year your sister died from cancer, in April you almost died yourself from a ruptured brain aneurysm and you still have pain and terrible side effects from that, frankly you are lucky to be alive, now go and eat some f**ing cake’. I also agree that being here means I am hungry, mentally, physically, whatever but very much a case of ‘Seeking permission to eat’. Of course I am not saying that recovery is easy and I am only halfway there because weight gain is not equivocal to the status of recovery, I am not seeing a good mental shift yet. Anyway I am supposed to be dead, I have had major anxiety and depression, anorexia almost killed me twice and then my brain exploded, I don’t blame it! Small wonder that my body wishes to protect me by being at a higher weight than I prefer. A doctor once said to me that just because you have another illness or something bad happens that doesn’t mean you can decide to recover from anorexia and frankly I think that is bullshit. You can very much decide, you simply list all of the misery anorexia brought you and then all of the crap life threw at you and decide life is too short to live this way. Oh and if in doubt of your own abilities list something, one thing that you have ever done that you never thought you could, even if it was a small thing in your opinion as it counteracts your negative thoughts. I quit smoking after 30 years after my neurosurgeon said it was vital or my aneurysm would almost certainly rupture again. If I can be so determined to live that I stopped one harmful behaviour then I can stop another, everyone has the ability, it’s just not as easy as we wish it was.

[@alexaelizabeth7393]

Mel Worsfold keep going! Be brave, it will be worth it when in the end😁!

[@melworsfold9935]

Alexa Samuel Thank you so much :)

[@apres3131]

That's quite a luxury to be able to go out and purchase/obtain all fear foods at once. Not everyone has the means to do this.

[@apres3131]

@@jk-ml7dv This is why many recovery coaches fail at helping many people who have to live with particular issues such as financial limitations, mobility/transport issues, co-morbid psychological problems, etc etc

[@brittwagemans88]

I understand it but I really think that the foods that are higher in calories are cheaper than the “healthy” avocado and stuff... you don’t need to eat every product by itself but if you put yourself to work on higher calories-food you will train your brain to not fear weight gain and you won’t have that much fearfoods anymore! Eat a frozen pizza, put some extra cheese on it and a lot of sauce and you are retraining your brain and it is not expensive at all.

[@flyingskyhighify]

@@jk-ml7dv an underlying thing that Tabitha touches on often is that if you want it enough, you can make it happen. Even if you are short on money, there are things you can do. Figure out what IS possible for you to do. Lots of my fear foods back in the day (not all) were very inexpensive like ramen noodles, margarine on everything and especially rice and saltines, pizza pockets, potatoes fried in oil, chips... I could afford those, and that got it done for me, no excuses. I don't know you or your situation so I could be being a bit too blunt, but I think it is very possible for someone to use money as a reason to not go for it.

[@juliebird9982]

Although I would agree and dont have much of a budget, its like IBS or diabetes or me saying oh but I am older and its not so easy..its a bloody pain in the arse to have extra hurdles when you want to get better but you mustn't use those as an excuse not to try, look deep in yourself and recognise it as ED finding another way to stop you getting free...its a hurdle not a blockade, go round it or over it, you have the savvy to find a way ..wishing you much strength and love.🙏

[@joyyangly]

Hi Tabitha, thank you for your regular uploads. I watch every one without fail and your videos have been my lifeline through out my recovery. I am now almost a year recovered. I still get eating disorder thoughts creeping in now and then, especially in the week before my period. But I am confident I will keep getting better as the my body panic episodes are getting shorter and more manageable. I am able to "snap out of it" with more ease whereas in the past i would be completely unable to function/work. Is it possible for you to talk about PMS issues and its' effects during recovery (e.g. more prone to relapse and body dysmorphia etc.) Thank you again.

[@guromathiassen5730]

Hi! I have decided to go "all in" in my ed recovery and have gained weight (was within a "normal" weight range before and still am), but my therapist wants me to go on a meal plan to prevent too much weight gain so that it doesn't become a problem that I get too big. It was your videos that inspired me to take the leap and start eating unrestricted. I was happy and proud that I managed to break free and it felt much needed as my body had a lot of signs of malnourishment and my period had been gone for a year. I find it a bit contradictory that my therapist wants me back on a meal plan, in my opinion, being on a meal plan that prevents further weight gain is restricting. I am now really doubting my choice and i am petrified that I will continue to gain and gain if I keep eating unrestricted, after all, my therapist is a professional who is suppose to know what she is doing and are there to help me. I am confused and do not know what to do. Got any thoughts or advice for my situation?

[@leandra.denise3850]

Hey, how are u doing now ? Did you go on a meal plan or continued eating without restriction? Just very curious

[@guromathiassen5730]

@@leandra.denise3850 Hey! Thanks for asking. I did not go on a meal plan, I choose what felt right to me, which was to continue to eat. I did gain some weight, which I was prepared for, but I slowly lost it again just by continuing to eat normally, without restriction. Today I am fully recovered and feeling better than ever :D

[@leandra.denise3850]

@@guromathiassen5730 oh wow I‘m so glad to hear that !☺️ It was definitely the Right decision then ... Did u really eat without like ANY restriction even if it meant eating thousands and thousands of calories every day ? I am really scared to follow my extreme hunger, especially because I’m in inpatient treatment rn and they gave me a meal plan which only includes 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.... This amount does not satisfy my hunger (especially mental hunger) at all but I feel so bad when eating more than the recommended amount :(

[@guromathiassen5730]

​@@leandra.denise3850 I did really eat without any restrictions and I ate thousands of calories every day, and I still do! I understand that you are scared. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done but it is so worth it. Today I feel free and strong, and food gives me so much joy. At the time I used the thought of knowing I can always go back to the eating disorder to help me, but knowing now what it is like to be free from it I am not ever going back. I know how it feels bad to want to eat more but your body and your mind really knows what it needs and you have to trust it! You have to trust the process fully. I am not a professional and I cannot really give you any other advise than to have a close dialogue with professionals who knows what their doing. But I really think you should be as honest as you can about what you think is right for you. I also believe that you can do it, and you should be very proud of yourself for trying your best and that you are on your recovery journey!! :D

[@leandra.denise3850]

@@guromathiassen5730 thank you so much!☺️ This really gives me hope that I can do it too:)

[@silverpumpkin]

I cannot take my eyes of that cat.

[@toplokamitoukarxaria]

Hello,first of all I wanna congratulate for the effort your putting answering all questions and giving us all the help we want.i ve been anorexic 7 years and now I'm having extreme hunger I think after a period of binging restrict. I'm at a high weight and only eat at nights,even though at my extreme eating (cant say hunger cause it starts as soon as i eat something and then it's difficult to stop even though I make it sometimes,I'm confused with this) anyway one fear food is bread at dinner I eat a small amount,but afterwards I eat lots of it,but in the morning after bread becomes fear food all over again every single time.sorry for the big comment,nothing diminishes every day it's like I'm resetting to an thoughts even if I eat 5000 calories,I'll become overweight without ever stop being anorexic..all this makes sitting in a dark room all days for weeks now,terrified to eat because I wont stop