MST3K - Favorite Moments - The Projected Man

In episode 901 the British once again try to bore us to death. In The Projected Man a professor (Bryant Haliday from Devil Doll) with upsettingly orange hair, tries to teleport (or in this case "project") objects and living creatures through space. After a rather unsuccessful "projection" of himself leaves him disfigured, electrified and (naturally) homicidal, he tries to exert revenge on the evil administrators who tried to stop him (after a minor break-in at the local drugstore to steal some gloves and face-diapers).
Yes, this could actually have been fun if it wasn't made with the emotional span of an empty tea-pot, leaving us with nothing more that a little bickering about funding, mild clerical work, and the sexuality of a brick wall.
Not even the secretary Sheila (Tracey Crisp (which she definitely is)) in her underwear manages to raise any excitement in this piece of British climactic dysfunction.
However there is one point of historic interest. Look out for the security guard. He is Alfred Joint (Alf Joint) who's work as stuntman and stunt co-ordinator can be seen in Return of the Jedi, Dick Turpin, An American Werewolf in London, Superman, Superman IV, The Omen ect. ect.
Oh, and one of his many small parts in various movies is as Capungo in Goldfinger.
Look out for the overhead projected man, the tension of parking, inspector Combover, Dr. Doorman, orange hair, the fluffing of a beard, teasing of howler monkeys, cardboard rolls, Sheila, a she-male, the travel arrangements of Dr. Lembach, a giant nuclear blackhead extractor, projected haggis, joy buzzer of death, drinking, turtleneck panties, noisy light switches, huge eyebrows, the British slightly less dismal sex video series, a bullet-proof face-diaper, and Scotland Yard's elite hit 'n run squad.
Enjoy!

[@theautisticguitarist7560]

"Ah, parking! What a way to establish character and create tension." And James Nguyen grinned.

[@sapphirewingthefurrycritic985]

I love the filter on this. Piss yellow. Great choice.

[@Eisenwulf666]

Btw what was the motive for the bad guys ? What was their masterplan? 1) set up an expensive laboratory 2) hire a genius scientist who discovers freaking teleportation 3) do everything to annoy and sabotage him 4) ???? 5) profit?

[@BryonYoungblood]

I wondered that too. One thought I'd imagine is Blanchard wanting to sell Paul's research for something big from foreign powers perhaps, like industrial espionage in a sense?

[@sil80d]

What if something leads to the premature departure of Lembach?!

[@AllOfTheHallows]

I read this just as it was said making it even funnier lol

[@donaldpetkus1612]

“Actually, your knickers would be better, but fine.”

[@seanhall7898]

I've invented this contraption (which was perfected when some scientist walked in and within minutes suggested a minor change) that can transport any object to another location. This would revolutionize manufacturing, eliminate massive shipping of goods preventing massive expenditures of fossil fuels, open our roads up completely, eliminate rail car transfers, massive shipping containers, etc. We can instantly transport goods to let's say, an ER where patients are in desperate need of medicines, blood, etc. We can transport military equipment from the factory to the front lines, from farms to markets, and so on. Basically, we would save the world...but if we could only be able to transport humans, then.....hum, maybe then the research heads would take us seriously and keep our funding.

[@luisreyes1963]

May I suggest you watch the 1958 movie "The Fly" & see if you're still optimistic about matter teleportation. 🧐

[@GreatSwordNH]

Lembach is stayyying! Lembach is stayyying! Lembach is stayyying!

[@ethantrulson3213]

I just realized that when the watch is going backwards they are saying “Kcot kcit” which is “tick tock” backwards

[@teresas8173]

Ethaniopia Trulson , thank you!

[@teresas8173]

You know, projecting inanimate objects would be great. Anything you needed could be ordered and appear instantly where needed. The potential benefits seem endless. No underpaid, over- worked delivery and warehouse staff, less pollution, (although corporations will always find a way to stiff workers). Projecting people. That I’m not sure about.

[@luisreyes1963]

If only matter teleportation was restricted to non-living matter, it would be a boon to Humanity. Highly doubt it, though. 😟

[@80MWH]

Sometimes, the best parts of MSt3K are when they pick up on a theme and run with it. In this, I love how they go on-and-on regarding Lembach, even including it in one of the interstitials where they call up Lembach to see if he'll stay longer.

[@BryonYoungblood]

And we also got the jokes too about the fact Bryant Holliday was in _Devil Doll_ as Vorelli

[@JamaicanCastle]

"Even when stuff's happening in this movie, stuff... doesn't happen in this movie."A common flaw in MST3K movies, but this one definitely had it pretty bad.

[@Diamhea]

The whole opening credit thing with the names is one of my favorite mst moments.

[@monkeymouse]

"Around this corner I turn into EYEBROW MAN!"

[@TheRogueWolf]

+Georgiana Vogt And then taking off into the skies, using his eyebrows to gain lift?

[@katyalacrua6793]

😂😂😂So Hard to not notice!

[@auritone]

My guess, once she regained consciousness, she lived happily ever after with her underwear...

[@JamaicanCastle]

Maybe she lived happily ever after _without_ her underwear? We can hope...

[@ackbarfan5556]

"Hey, we had sex! Tell them, honey!" 'What was on those computers?' "Porn! No, wait!" Classic lines from Tom.

[@KentheDeer]

And the plot thin-ens...

[@tdog652041]

You just go down to your office and take your clothes off. Yeah !!!

[@LchanOtakudom]

I can’t possibly pick out my favorite quotes, there are far too many good ones!!

[@luisreyes1963]

"SMELL THE GLOVE!!" 🧤

[@kylestubbs8867]

1:22 Always gets me.

[@madamx7422]

2:42 - 2:50 Who wouldn't succeed with an inanimate object 100% of the time? 😏 I love it when the movie dialogue just walks right into a riff 😄

[@FingerBreakerWu]

Orange man bad

[@BryonYoungblood]

Crow: PROJECTED MAN!!!!! YAY!!

[@vegabonzo73]

“Bottom falling out of PLOT. Movie...sucks.” “They’re using guinea pigs as guinea pigs!”

[@StoneColdSergio]

An exhaust system she may need!

[@skylx0812]

British cat: "Yes. Meow you know. Mmm. Purrr then. Mmm-hm..." ...oh, and @ bound&gagged. your username is a lie

[@Taramw32]

"I took the liberty of ordering you a pump."

[@rtmillic]

13:11 Oh no they're gonna make more British people! Yeck!

[@Glitcher2000]

"I declare this movie suddenly great!" LOL! I say that every time I watch a bad movie that shows some skin. XD

[@lesstalking3007]

Why?

[@luisreyes1963]

A little cheesecake goes a long way in a bad movie. 😅

[@jondunmore4268]

@@luisreyes1963 -- Or a little beefcake. To wit: Steve Reeves as HERCULES.

[@sylvestervoigt9836]

Fawlty couldn't handle that ole confidence trickster Lord Melbry.

[@OptimisticCynic715]

@12:50- Ah, well then. ARR! I suppose? heh. ARR! what?

[@snavs420]

I'm doing it all for you, Lembach!!!

[@crescentfreshbret]

“Pretty you may be!” I’ve always found that line funny but never understood why he said it.

[@seanhall7898]

He was saying just because she was pretty doesn't mean he wouldn't give her a piece of his mind as he seemed to blame her for the near miss.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Sounds like a great episode, this best of has some laugh out loud funny moments (like Mike and the Bots cheering at the mention of Lembach staying for a few more days, Dr. Doorman or Crow declaring the movie great because of a lady in her underwear).

[@crimsonrush]

The cheering literally made me cry with laughter. :)

[@Eisenwulf666]

"I want you to regard what i'm about to say as highly confidential..'' "yes,sir" "i am a shemale!" I cannot XD

[@maggiekoch9348]

So the movie and all the actors in it roast in Hell! YAY! Crow is so delightfully mean-spirited.

[@deletedscenes]

9:16 Unfortunately, the movie he projected himself into was The Last Jedi.

[@spatchmo6938]

Holy crap, I can't believe they made a Tori Amos reference

[@Krendall2]

I know they were supposed to keep references to the Comedy Central episodes to a minimum, but how could they not make more references with a character named Mitchell?

[@wickedmuffin76]

"This is my tuxedo shirt..." "That's Low alright..." "And the plot thinnens" "Well he's dead, but knock yourself out"

[@ilikethecokev2]

PROJECTED MAN! YES!

[@maxell149]

"Suppose I should go over there go AAGH!!!!And get BZZT!!!!"

[@MrHypnofan]

Wait, wait, What ever happened to the secretary?

[@robertgriffin4811]

Had to plug my laptop into the wall about five mins into the video because it needed bo fower.

[@Loogaroo1]

Would you like a cup of soggy linguin-... I mean, tea?

[@dirkbonesteel]

SUNBEAM ALPINE the white car. Love anything with a Sunbeam Alpine or it's Ford v8 powered double sold as the Tiger

[@rubystevens4593]

Naked Monopoly

[@ngobleus]

Reminds me of the episode "The Horrors of Spider Island".

[@luisreyes1963]

ngobleus How? This flick is British, while The Horrors Of Spider Island is German.

[@knightclawer]

My personal Favorite moments: The Knickers humor at 1:49 to2:08 and 2:40 The Golden Arches! He's Mc-Projecting himself! Keith Richards?....It is Keith Richards! So the movie finally admit its Dead! I declared this movie.. suddenly Great! The Best part of all: "So, the movie and all the actors are in it are roasted in Hell!" Yeah! Hooray! RLAMO! :D :) overall, this best of is quite hilarious! LOL!

[@grimsnark4849]

One in crapdillion.

[@stormchaser807]

Someone snapping cats over there!!😂😂😂😂

[@FingerBreakerWu]

I am the Craw!

[@luisreyes1963]

Smell The Glove...🧤

[@TheStapleGunKid]

Man this is the worst type of MST3K film, a really boring one. It's just people casually talking, with an occasional murder every once in a while.

[@brianfuller5868]

1960s science was as B Movie as 1950s science. This was a good episode. The movie was 3.3/10. The British character actors were solid but the Director was quite inexperienced and Bryant Halladay was bleh. I liked Mary Peach.

[@katyalacrua6793]

Really like Norman Wooland with beard 😍🥰😘

[@sexyglexy]

Bottom falling out of...plot...movie...sucks!

[@AWESOMEjeff654r]

I want her Mike I want her

[@teresas8173]

Tom really was lusting after Sheila in her picnic underwear

[@JLongbone]

Is the orange haired guy, The Great Verelli from Devil Doll?? LMAO

[@luisreyes1963]

Righto! That's Bryant Halliday.

[@teresas8173]

@@luisreyes1963 … they make reference to the actor Bryant Halliday as being the great Vorelli in the opening credits and there are riffs throughout I.e “ ham, I love it” , etc. in reference Devil Doll.

[@SeanP7195]

Lembach do something!!!!

[@dionaea2008]

I did not want to use KZbin to bad mouth other people's comments, and yes, their comments (some) are funny but need to be kept in the bedroom where most of these movies are watched. Yes, the film is terrible, yes it is bad acting and I agree on all points. But that is why I love films like this and US B movies: I LOVE THEM for what they are. They don't put stuff like this or US sci-fi / horror movies on where I live now; just endles digital CRAP! Don't berate The British Sci-Fi movies.

[@luisreyes1963]

I'm guessing you never seen Lifeforce. 🧛🏽‍♀️

[@dionaea2008]

Yes started to watch it and the clip when they find the derelict space station (which is what got me so enthralled about it; just wanted a copy of it.

[@brianfuller7691]

Good riffs and kudos. This is a fun British flick, but utter crap. Ironic, no. This was the fun of 60s British cinena.

[@kylestubbs8867]

1:22

[@Igarappappa]

Kcot Kcit Kcot Kcit Kcot Kcit Kcot Kcit Kcot Kcit Kcot Kcit

[@dionaea2008]

Can't find this film anywhere else but on MST...

[@kylestubbs8867]

It was only projected to them.

[@inthetoyroom4life]

11:00 didda di doa lidda lad

[@dionaea2008]

I haven't seen this film since it was last on British TV 25 years ago when they used to put Hammer Horror films and the occasional British Sci-Fi Hammer related Made and filmed in England sci-fi horror like this one; so to watch just a bit of it uninterrupted would be some bliss for a British sci-fi nerd like me: they just don't put stuff on like this anymore :-( BLOODY DISGRACEFUL!

[@luisreyes1963]

Be thankful the MST3K crew didn't discover the 1966 movie "Island Of Terror". 🤢

[@daughterofolaf]

0:44 = what the hell? 😆

[@johnnyweissmuller5559]

9:50

[@dionaea2008]

Ikarie XB-1 I would love a copy of this Soviet style 1965 (I think) film.

[@captain_hat6247]

This was one of the worst movies to be featured on MST3K. EDIT: The riffs are great, but the film itself is awful b/c the only likable character is turned into a monster while we're stuck w/ a smarmy douchebag protagonist (who the audience is supposed to find charming) and his complete airhead of a love interest trapped in a repressed British quagmire of passive aggressive inaction that makes the Deadly Bees look like an intense horror film by comparison.

[@luisreyes1963]

Captain_Hat At least it's not a "Hercules" flick.

[@theatom7264]

Eh, I’ve seen worse. It was better than Hamlet.

[@alitlweird]

*_That’s the whole point of MST3K_*

[@luisreyes1963]

@@alitlweird Touchè. 🧐

[@StoneColdSergio]

I can watch Projected Man over and over again. Deadly Bees is pure and utter pain.

[@dionaea2008]

Okay, thanks. Might ask you about an obscure Russian sci-fi film you might know abt.