Autism and Conversations

Ever since I was diagnosed with autism, I have always been frustrated with the fact that people never understood what it was like for me living as an autistic person, and I have never truly felt accepted as my true self. This is common for a lot of people on the spectrum. I have only really just thought to myself that I can't complain about these things and then not do anything about it - mainly because I never really thought one small person would make a difference to a whole community of people. However, that changes today!
In this video, I talk about how autistic people manage navigating and creating conversations, and what we can do to make it easier for them. I hope that by doing this it will help spread more awareness and understanding of autism to neurotypical people and help start making positive changes to a more inclusive and accepting future.
Please share this with anyone you feel would benefit from watching this, and let me know in the comments of this video what autistic traits or topics in general you'd like me to talk about next!
You can find the whole autism playlist here: • All Things Autism
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Follow me on Insta: @HollywoodHRA

[@kevinkilby3799]

i learned to ask what others are interested in even though they usaually don't respond back even when i say hello they never respond back

[@louierombaut5328]

I like conversations where we each learn something new about the world. I am happy to learn what other people know about something very niche like motorcycle repair, and I also like being asked insightful questions about the things I am interested in to give me a chance to talk about my interests.

[@ambervictoria11]

This is extremely on point for me too

[@SinfulSys]

I mask a lot even without thinking about it because it’s so automatic but I do realize that I do a lot of these things. I find it easier to prepare for conversations especially when it’s about more serious topics. I struggle with eye contact even with others I’m close to, though, I am very much engaged. I also find myself completely shutting down or even running away to a quieter place when there is too much sensory input, or I put earbuds in, or I just cover my ears. I look like I’m navigating the conversation well but a lot of the time I’m criticizing myself for what I said and how I said it, even BEFORE speaking. TLDR: socializing is a nightmare with others who don’t know your needs or how you function, even if you’re high masking like me.

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@SinfulSys it becomes second nature to autistic people because we have had to do it all our lives! I totally understand this - and yeah I’m not good with eye contact either!

[@Femyoz]

7:08 This is really interesting. I'm also autistic, but I feel like I process things faster than most people, especially verbal information. I watch KZbin videos at 2-3x speed usually (I have a chrome plugin that customizes video playback speed) because I'll get bored, zone out, or get impatient if I watch videos at 1x speed for too long. Sometimes I can watch videos at around 3.5-3.8x speed and process all of the information in the video perfectly fine. 2x speed is for when I wanna relax, 3x speed or faster is for when I'm higher energy and wanna consume more information.

[@HollywoodHRA]

Oh wow! It’s so cool how we all experience autism in our own way! That would make me feel sick haha… I think the majority of autistic people prefer slower movement and time to process and take things in but I’m sure there are people like yourself who prefer the opposite! 😄

[@Mouse-vc1yb]

This is a very well thought out and comprehensive video! Thanks for making it! I find that tone in text conversations can be such a challenge for me! I'm in quite a few online groups and the only one that I feel comfortable talking freely in is a very small one I've been in for years. The people there know me and they know that I say "weird" things sometimes but I'm never trying to be rude, I'm always just being my honest self. They talk clearly to me and even use tone indicators sometimes. But in other groups, I spend most of my time trying to figure out what people are actually saying. Are they being sarcastic? Was that a joke I didn't get? And then when I respond, usually people will ignore me because I misunderstood the conversation and what I said doesn't make sense. Only later do I realize oh right, they actually were joking but I took them seriously. It's so embarrassing! It just makes me appreciate more the people who know me well. - Fellow autistic person :)

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@Mouse-vc1yb I get this totally! I can’t always even tell if someone’s joking in real life 😂 I know we’re not the only ones!! 💛 Welcome to the channel!’

[@viviane_casella]

First: your hair is gorgeous!!! Second: I like to have conversation even if they take energy due to the reasons you listed, but conversations with NTs are so tiring! And mainly boring. And my opinion is it's getting harder because NTs are getting worse as people.

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@viviane_casella I actually hate my hair haha - it’s so hot in the summer! But thanks 🥰😆 and yeah I totally understand what you mean 😊

[@sainaro2335]

In summer I usually braid my equally long hair! It doesn't itch as much and it's so much cooler. Maybe something to try?

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@sainaro2335 thanks so much I will definitely try it!

[@lillyraye7232]

I have a question. If someone is engaged in echolalia is it best not to interrupt them and try to start a conversation? Sorry that probably kind of a dumb question. There was this time when I was in a store and the check out guy was making references to something that I have a shared interest in. I got really excited and started talking to him about it. However I think that may have been a mistake. I often make references to things I like regardless of whether I think the person will get it or not (which maybe I shouldn't) although I am always super excited when someone does get the reference. Anyway I thought he was doing what I do but when I talked to him he went quiet. I felt awful bc it occurred to me that he was repeating the references and that he may have been doing so as a way to self regulate and me interupting probably caused him to shutdown. I felt as though I should have taken that into consideration especially considering given that I myself get overestimated especially in public places. I can't say for sure that that was what was going on its just my best guess. I'm often wrong as I have difficulty reading social ques. Anyway if anyone has any insight on this topic I would be very grateful to hear it.

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@lillyraye7232 not a dumb question at all! I have a friend who does echolalia all the time and we smile and laugh about it. It can also be used as a type of stim which I would encourage people to let autistic people carry out their stims as they obviously are doing it for a reason (whether that’s for joy or for regulating their emotions etc). Do you know for sure that the check out guy was autistic? I think it’s so easy to overthink things. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I think it’s good to let autistic people feel safe and comfortable to be themselves and let them stim when they want to (as long as it’s not harmful to themselves or others). But at the same time you weren’t to know that it would affect him in that way to make him shut down (if that’s what happened). Don’t be too hard on yourself - it’s good to be excited about things and want to share them with people! 🥰 I hope this reassures you

[@lillyraye7232]

@@HollywoodHRA yes thank you ♥

[@Femyoz]

I used to constantly engage in echolalia when I was really little. If my parents asked me a question, I would just repeat the question and go completely silent. Apparently, my parents figured out that if they framed the same questions as being multiple choice, I would actually answer them. I'm not sure how useful this information is, and I can only go off of what my parents have told me as I was too young to remember, but the way you frame certain information (i.e. including all possible answers to a question) may be helpful for communicating. Again, it's been too long for me to remember properly, so I could be wrong here.

[@RuthElms]

Well explained, Holly, well done! ❤

[@AquaPeet]

Up to 3:35 in the video and..... yup, that's me alright! So weird to now know that it's due to my autism. Always felt so different than anyone else and could never understand why. I'm in my 40's and wasn't diagnosed till this year...... now I can give these quirks I have, a place and a source and I can more easily accept that I can't help the way that I am. Oh and I'm still dealing with major denial. Oh, I just have this and this and that, the same quirks as autistic people.... but I'm not really autistic am I? YES YOU ARE. You were diagnosed. Oh but I must've mislead them or yadda yadda because I lack some stereotypical autism traits or severity that neurodivergent people assign to people with autism.

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@AquaPeet imposter syndrome is so real! It’s really common for a lot of autistic people to feel this way… but you’re right - you’re diagnosed and they wouldn’t give you a diagnosis if they didn’t think you were autistic! They can see through these things 🙃 that’s what I remind myself all the time! So glad you’ve found my channel and this video helpful 🥰 check out the rest of my autism series in the description below 😊

[@AquaPeet]

@@HollywoodHRA yesss that was the word I was looking for. Imposter! Thank you so, so much for confirming my statements. It feels like a warm blanket and I wish I could give you a hug for it. I will definitely look up more of your vids! :)

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@AquaPeet thank you so much! I’m glad I helped 🥰

[@thepeculiarmaple]

Hey, I just wanted to say: thank you for sharing this. I am undiagnosed but HEAVILY know Im autistic. I am so autistic that I failed the test they gave me, all because I kept questioning the test and kept being confused about what it meant?! 💀 I also funnily enough have tourettes, which is often alongside of autism and like.

[@thepeculiarmaple]

Tourettes is not a superpower, but it certainly has helped me to get out of my shell. Most people with tourettes battle the will to be seen with the will to be unseen. I have chosen most days to just go with the flow, and this is basically where the random conversations and excentric stuff I do comes in!

[@thepeculiarmaple]

So basically: don't be afraid of the awkward. Because your awkward moment might have made someones day secretly. Even id they don't respond, they night be awkward too 😅 they might also think its cool but not know what to say. Also, some people feel stuck in their shell, too. Sometimes, I notice people relax when I just let myself be open or say what I want to to others. Maybe this is the solution too to combatting the stereotype that we are boring. Maybe we just need to embrace ourselves and soon other people will see we are just as human and interesting as anyone else. 🤷🏼

[@AquaPeet]

I feel the same about noise; yet if I can anticipate it, I can even appreciate it. Like the roar of a V8 can be awesome to me, or the hellishly high pitched V12 Formula 1 engine.... but not unexpectedly! A very loud motor bike passing by my open window can make me squint my eyes and pull up my shoulders and internally I go aaaaaahhhhh leave me alone

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@AquaPeet interesting! For me even if I know it’s gonna happen it still gets me! But it’s cool how it affects autistic people differently yet we can still relate 🥰🥰

[@NFSMAN50]

I agree with this lots!! Also autistic too! Hope you are doing good!

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@NFSMAN50 glad you can relate! Hope the video helps 🥰

[@kevinkilby3799]

i agree i feel like that good advice but i always over think it and get nerves

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@kevinkilby3799 when I’m nervous I take deep breaths. And as long as I prepared before hand then I feel a bit more relaxed!

[@kevinkilby3799]

@@HollywoodHRA thanks I'll try that thank you so much for your help your a good person and Christian I wish I could meet more people on the spectrum like you it makes me mad though your as good as any other singer and they don't give you credit you should be a pro

[@HollywoodHRA]

@@kevinkilby3799 thank you so much!! If it happens it will happen. I’m just happy to be able to have this platform to share my love of music and autistic experience! And that people want to watch it! 😊

[@kevinkilby3799]

@@HollywoodHRA I love your videos people usually don't believe me when I tell them I'm autistic but I was diagnosed many times by different doctors and relate to it more then other diagnosis anyway you remind me of that story Sally on the sea shore if she can only save one and you helped me so much thank you

[@kevinkilby3799]

@@HollywoodHRA ps I love SpongeBob too

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

I had no idea not creating conversations was normal. I had no idea that is part of Autism. For a long time talking to myself by creating different scenarios, sentences, expressions, how to stand, and talk was all part of Autism, and I thought I had schizophrenia. I realized I don't have schizophrenia, just Autism and ADHD. So now I need to learn what to do as an Autistic woman. Finding an Autistic community on KZbin is making this journey less lonely.

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

Hi, Holly I love your video just subscribed. I have a friend named Holly, with whom I have been friends since 2nd grade. Just recently been diagnosed with autism this year at 54, I still can't believe it but I had a feeling. Thanks to my daughter who told me I should get tested so I did my results are ASD 1, ADHD, Anxiety, and depression. So I decided to make a KZbin channel about my journey with Autism.