Autism and Unexpected Plan Changes--Parent Edition

You can read the full script of this video right here :-)
Autism and unexpected plan changes-Parent edition
Parents of autistic kiddos, I'm about to make your life significantly easier... so be sure to stick around to the end
If you know ahead of time about a change in plans that will impact your kiddo... whether it be a doctor's appointment, a social gathering (even one they want to go to, like a birthday party), a change in any aspect of the daily routine... you want to make sure you do the following 3 things…
1. *Tell your child about the change as soon as you are able.*
- They need time to process the changes.
- They need time to adjust their internal expectations about the day.
- They need time to RECALIBRATE what they are USED TO based on what is going to happen instead.
Now, there IS a caveat to this. When it comes to scarier changes… like a scheduled flu shot, for example… you may not want to give too much notice like a few weeks, but you do want to give some. So, maybe let them know a day or two before, but not weeks before when you actually schedule the appointment.
2. Take time to understand how the plan change will impact your kiddo. Then do what you can to adjust whatever is adjustable so their needs are met. Involve your kiddo in the adjustments if you can.
I’ll give an example in a second.
3. Most autistic people understand when something is not within the control of those around them. So, if something is changing and there is a good reason for the change...
*Tell your kiddo the reason.*
Ok, here are some examples.
Example 1: You run out of one of their “safe food” items.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie. We ran out of peanut butter. I'll need to make a different lunch for you tomorrow. Let's look through the fridge and find something I can make you instead."
This will prevent a meltdown in the morning when you're scrambling to put together a lunch.
Example 2: You scheduled dinner with the neighbors, but they don’t have kids your kiddo’s age.
"We're having dinner with the neighbors next Friday. I know they don't have any kids your age, so let's figure out what you can bring along so you're not bored."
I've had this conversation with my son many times. This approach has made him 100% more agreeable.
Example 3: A scheduled shot
“Sweetie, I had to schedule your flu shot next week. How about we plan on what you can bring along to make it more comfortable? Also, what do you say to either ice cream or hot chocolate after the appointment?”
This last one is probably the trickiest. It’s extremely important to think about how your kiddo normally reacts in situations like these and what types of comforting techniques have worked in the past. No two autistic kiddos are the same, so focus on what you know about yours.
So, there you have it… when there are planned changes that will impact your autistic kiddo…
Tell your kiddo about the change BEFORE it happens
Take time to understand how the change will impact them and adjust whatever is adjustable to help them get their needs met
Tell your kiddo the reason for the change
Thanks for watching! If you found this video valuable, please be sure to give it a like and comment below to make it more likely that others will see it.
Bye 😊

[@CraftyVegan]

I used to be a caregiver for my (almost) non-speaking autistic cousin and we would go through a list of what was gonna happen through the day. It didn’t need to be the same each time, she just needed to have a heads up at the beginning of the day or she’d get upset. The lists usually ran like this: First we’re gonna wake up and get ready for school, then have breakfast, then get on the bus, then have a good day at school, then come home and have a snack, then do homework, then have dinner, then bedtime. She liked more detailed lists for each activity as we got to them, and she’d echo the choice she wanted if there was a choice involved, like: First shirt. Pink or purple? “Pink”, then socks. Rainbow or orange? “Orange”, then pants. Jeans or khakis? “Khakis”, then shoes. Sneakers or boots? “Sneakers” and so on. The only time she ever really got upset with the list was if there was some sort of delay, like if there was a long line at the store or at the drive thru for her (very occasional) after school ice cream. Or when there’s a time attached to things… we stopped **that** practice pdq after the first delay. She was fine with some delay as long as it wasn’t implied that we were on a schedule. It really helps with my own autistic kids, and tbh I’ve found I like a concise list of what is gonna happen comforting, and I also tend to get upset if there’s a time listed but not adhered to 😅

[@hugglesnz]

thanks for making these, I wish I'd had your wisdom when my kids were younger

[@sensorystoriesbynicole]

I really appreciate you being here... thank you for your comment