AUTISM Faces - [Why YOU Don’t Show Emotion]

This is why autism faces do not show that much emotion and why expressions not match up.
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Autism faces can be a tricky thing when people who are neurotypical because autistic peoples facial expressions don’t really match how they’re feeling.
What is the people and Autism faces have a difficult time in showing how they feel through their facial expressions, so if they are happy or sad may not reflect in the facial features.
So this can be difficult for people interacting with other people on the autism spectrum because you have no way of charging how they’re feeling by their facial expression.
Also this also works in reverse as well, as people with autism cannot distinguish facial expressions to emotions that well on other people.
To learn more about this please check out my KZbin video on this topic. Please save this and share with anyone you think will benefit and follow @theaspieworld for more content.
HASH TAGS:
#autism #aspergers #autismawareness
LINKS:
TEDx Talks - The Many Faces of Autism | Garrett Lees | TEDxPaloAltoHighSchool: • The Many Faces of Auti...
TeamAutismpedia - Autism Facial Feature - Aspergers Facial Characteristics: • Autism Facial Feature ...
Autism and the development of face processing - NCBI - www.ncbi.nlm.n...
The “eye avoidance” hypothesis of autism face processing - www.ncbi.nlm.n...

[@stellarivers92]

Being told always “what’s wrong?” Cuz I’m just neutral, or just there. Telling them I’m fine. And not getting believed at all.

[@Ember.Ash.Yorkies]

Me my entire life! 😭😭

[@aninjawolf37]

Yes I always had people asking this

[@t2dwarrior209]

Wish I had a dollar for every time in my life someone told me to cheer up, it's not the end of the world. No, I look like this 24/7 365 days a year my whole entire life.

[@kelcamer]

LOL ME LAST WEEK AT WORK

[@ufggxdyxcrhc]

*asked*

[@pain.497]

I hate when people say I look sad or angry when im neutral, then when they keep persisting they start to irritate me.

[@QueerCripple]

"Quick to anger, Quick to Recover" This is how I describe the emotional roller coaster that NATURALLY occurs for me.

[@Sky-Child]

Good to know it's not just me. What would I give to just go along flat all the time but it's like wooooaaaaaah up and down

[@QueerCripple]

@@Sky-Child I even see this in my childhood medical records lol. I can go from happy to screaming like world is ENDING in 30 seconds flat, and then 3 minutes later all was hunky-dory 😆 I can not blame my teachers for having no clue how to handle me haha

[@Aiken47]

“Friends” think being diagnosed is me using an excuse not as a reason why.

[@QueerCripple]

@MadWILLCraft I want to find more creative outlets, but for me personally, after I have an Anger Explosion, I find myself able to face whatever was overwhelming me 🤣 it is maladaptive at best, but the key to my recovery is to allow the feelings out. If I don't let myself explode, it all bottles up inside and I get stuck and don't progress in life. After I explode, I can think critically again 🤯🙃

[@PixelaGames2000]

I don’t explode with anger rather i emploed I also don’t get angry easily unless I see something truly unjust It takes like 30 minutes for me to cool of and during that time I draw and listen to music because creativity is the best healthy way to get rid of your anger

[@MasochistMouse]

Yeah, people always thought I was mad or sad when I was a kid because I didn't smile 24/7...I actually had to put in more effort to smile just to be left alone some. My mom was always asking me why I looked like I just lost my best friend, and just replying it's just my face wasn't good enough. Oh, the joys of growing up undiagnosed... lol

[@emilyb5557]

Resting neutral face ☺️👍

[@Sky-Child]

Aaaahh me too. Teachers "What's wrong?" Me, aged 5 "Nothing, that's just my face." I have resting miserable face and my partner has resting furious face 🤣

[@burlapandlacebookworm]

Yesss. I definitely learned to smile to be left alone, too. My mom used to always think I was depressed - cuz if I wasn't looking happy, I must be depressed. I learned to mask generally fairly well to stay out of counseling cuz, while I didn't feel a wide array of emotions as a kid, I knew depressed wasn't what I was

[@Rocki5pr]

I went to smiling resting face to avoid confrontations; ... now I have family/friends who knew me then saying I was such a happy child which was SO not true on multiple levels.

[@gloriadamiani4905]

@sky_child lol 😂😂😂😂

[@darkangelprincess101]

My husband and everyone around me is always telling me I make weird facial expression, and it doesn't always match up with what I'm saying, doing or feeling and he thinks it's weird that I have no idea that I'm making these faces

[@burlapandlacebookworm]

Heh yep. Recently I was deeply listening very intently to someone giving some advice and we were in a restaurant setting. The person suddenly said, "well I'm going to stop talking cuz you're sitting there looking like you want to kill me for what I'm saying." I really was just listening, learning, and in full agreement with what he was saying. Looking back, I'm thinking I must have been squinting or something in order to try to concentrate past all of the other sensory input from the restaurant. Definitely my face was apparently not reflecting the interest I thought I was showing 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@louise9475]

Same. My partner and I got into a big augment recently because of this. Apparently I looked like I was having a go at them based on my facial expression and my flat voice (it goes flatter after a stressful or very long day or lack of sleep). I was being sincere and giving them a compliment obviously very confused why they they would have a go at me in response. In the end found out they thought I started it having a go with a snide comment based on my expression. This has happened a few times but still catches them out and a very confused conversation happens afterwards. I'm like people can control their facial expressions? They just happen to me I don't control them

[@oxxy6678]

@@louise9475 it's really rough to deal with but your not alone. This has been very hard for me to deal with for the past year. I feel like it's getting worse because I cant look people in the eye without them thinking I'm being aggressige

[@jenbrennan4884]

I have that problem, too. Although I don't have autism. Not sure what's up with that.

[@zvezdalion]

Females on the spectrum are better at teaching themselves those facial expressions to fit in. It probably is not perfect, but we're very good at so called masking

[@ShikamaruAzumi]

6:40 In a psychology class back in college, we learned about this phenomenon where people display opposite emotions simultaneously. It happens when an emotion is so strong that the body will start to do the opposite emotion in order to calm down faster. So if someone is really sad they might start laughing inappropriately like at a funeral or when a parent is yelling at them. They also might cry when they are extremely happy such as when they see their child for the first time.

[@rhonddalesley]

I find this fascinating and very relatable. I’ve had episodes of uncontrollable laughter during funerals, exams at school and other high stress situations. Sometimes, laughter turns to tears and vice versa and it feels weird, then people ask why I’m doing it and that my response isn’t appropriate but it’s inexplicable. Then there’s crying after being intimate which is no doubt the same thing in terms of sensory and emotional overwhelm.

[@kyssedbyfyre915]

​​@@rhonddalesleyI've had similar experiences. I chalked those things up to trauma or just being a "highly emotional person". Never thought about it from MORE of a Neurological standpoint.

[@kristianvoorhies3296]

We do show emotion. It’s just not the same as a neurotypical shows emotion. Emotions don’t translate well into face.

[@OffGridInvestor]

I have noticed people at work reas me REALLY well like I can't hide what I'm even thinking and the other times I'm just absolutely straight face. I call it "poker face", just like the lady gaga song. And it's not sad or happy, it's like I'm not thinking or neutral so my face just parks itself on one expression.

[@somethingfromnothing8428]

When i’m at work i’m constantly told i look bored or fed up. I really get fed up with people commenting on it and once i’ve heard it multiple times in a day i start to actually feel really irritated. When i used to play guitar in bands i also used to get told when i was on stage i looked fed up and bored so i started eating chewing gum whenever i played gigs to mask that i didnt have much expression on my face and it seemed to help

[@candib161]

Love this video! My son is on the spectrum and his psychologist said something very interesting to us that really helped us understand his difficulties with managing his emotions. She said to think of emotions like a cup of water - for most of us the cup is half full - but for people with ASD their cup is filled close to the top so it doesn’t take much for it to overflow. It also then takes longer for the emotions to regulate. Until that moment, we couldn’t figure out why something that seemed so insignificant to us could upset him so much, especially in school.

[@SnarkNSass]

As a young adult BITD, I had deaf roommates. One day JJ signed Why doesn't your face match your words? Hmmm🤔 I'm not diagnosed anything...stoopid healthcare system. But I'm old and have been trying to find the disconnect between me n the humanz for many years. You're message is very important in this crazy world. Thanx😁

[@oulewappeur76]

Yes. When my boy is upset about something he paces through the house with all his might , creating actual wind. LoL

[@tarmesha1527]

Shoot! lol!

[@loraleitourtillottwiehr2473]

My aspie teen definitely expresses her feelings more with body language than "typical" facial expressions

[@carolcole570]

Lorelei Tourtillott. Wait, I am getting confused. I thought Autism people had no expressions, never catch jokes, and just stands around sorta blah. Then, my thoughts of an asperger’s person is extremely expressive, extremely sensitive, thinks the whole world is out to get her, takes virtually everything wrong, cries buckets at the slightest thing, and has a meltdown if you even look her way. BUT, SMART in school. Please tell me where I am wrong. That 2nd one........just described my granddaughter.

[@rachelk2457]

That's because this more applies to Males on the autistic spectrum. I say this as a Very expressive mildly autistic female.

[@loraleitourtillottwiehr2473]

@@carolcole570 I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. If not, those are massive generalizations and often untrue in my experience. Also, Autism Spectrum Disorder includes Asperger's. Aspies are autistic. The difference in both receptive and expressive communication often comes down to the individual and can't reliably be generalized by diagnosis.

[@carolcole570]

@@loraleitourtillottwiehr2473 . I am absolutely serious. I am sorry. I thought you might be the one who could help me. Have a nice weekend.

[@emilyb5557]

@@carolcole570 like Lorelei I wasn't sure if you were being sarcastic. But perhaps the extremes your describing maybe suggest that you are, like lots of people used to thinking about disabilities or differences in extremes. But it's all a spectrum a range and individuals still have personalities and interests and talents that differ so their difficulties show differently. Very sensitive, tearful, if also disorganized and struggling with following activities could be more ADHD. The emotional disregulation element of that is often forgotten. But I'm asp or autism the extremes of emotional displays would be only in a melt down when someone is totally overwhelmed, and not all aspy aspergers ppl would have these.

[@nosoycopiona7775]

And when my plan is "destroyed" I feel the same. My whole family usually suffers because of my bad mood… (I also struggle with not being on time because I want to use my time as effectively as possible.)

[@burlapandlacebookworm]

I've actually just started straight up asking my husband what his facial expressions and gestures mean. It surprises me every time how wrong I am with what I thought he was conveying (which was upsetting to me) vs what he was actually thinking/feeling (which is usually less /not at all upsetting). It's helped a lot with our communication, but it feels very not fluid yet to me to ask other people that so I'm practicing with just him for now...but it does make me realize how much I probably don't get right from other people either 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@statonelisabet]

Laughing can be a release, both of sadness/anger and of happiness. When an emotion becomes too much, it can be relieved by laughter or crying. Physically expending that emotional energy can alleviate it - and when it gets that strong it's probably involuntary.

[@jcp5890]

My kids told me their whole life that I could be furious and still be smiling or look happy. Always drove me crazy! So I can be sad And look happy.

[@QueerCripple]

My girlfriend and I comment on each others faces all the time. Apparently her face looks angry to me a lot, and my face kooks sad to her a lot. When we are just calm 😅 We also are both used to people asking us why we are "angry" when we are speaking passionately about something we enjoy discussing.

[@Noemie291]

I can so relate 😅

[@MarcSundermeyer]

I definitely have this trait and since I am aware of it, I find it interesting to observe other people's facial behaviors during Zoom meetings. I went to see a really good movie with a friend and during the show I never moved and afterwards they asked why I didn't like the movie. I told them that I loved it, but was internally processing it and had no need to outwardly react to it. I enjoy your videos BTW. I have no official diagnosis but ASD is a side effect of another condition I have. Thank you for giving your insight on these traits.

[@wwizard6982]

Flattened Affect! People think I'm intimidating because my face isn't emotive, I look angry or callous most of the time.

[@janinecarson8380]

I used to get critiqued in my job reviews because my facial expression wasn’t happy enough.

[@gyakushulivi3893]

I don't have many facial expressions and my tone of voice is flat, I can only change my voice and smile if it's something genuine

[@BriBooth]

I appreciate this video! I was recently diagnosed and I’m learning so much about myself. For so long I couldn’t explain why I lack enthusiasm to people lol I can be happy even if my face doesn’t say it.

[@nosoycopiona7775]

Thank you, but could you make a video about the tone of the voice too? I don't know whether being on the spectrum could be the reason why I sometimes tend to talk monotonously… (However, if I focus on it, it will get better.)

[@t2dwarrior209]

Yes, monotone voice is pretty common. I have the same monotone voice issue as well. The monotone voice and no facial expressions makes getting past a job interview for literally anything extremely difficult.

[@grandma_d]

The webinar on helping “ your kids overcone these issues” were your words. Thank you Dan. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and thoughts.

[@KeriLudwig1027]

OMG, Dan. I am a parent of a son with ASD/ADHD/OCD and my son loves to go for walks. My husband and I told my son (Christian) he needed to wait for his walk until the Goodwill opened. His wait would be 2 hrs. He became very edgy and anxious and couldn't keep still. He also likes to be productive...ALWAYS. ALWAYS doing something. We tried to tell him to play video games or watch TV, but this didn't work. Finally, my husband found some walking activities to do until the Goodwill opened and my son was happy with this. He doesn't like down time at home. He always wants to go, go, go. We are retired, so this can be exhausting. He has to have things to do everyday, but unfortunately he needs adult supervision and can't do things alone. This video helped me to understand what is going on with him emotionally .....Thank you, Dan for your help..

[@funkydiabetic2442]

I'm constantly told no one wants to be around me because I'm always angry and a prick. Now I'm seeing why life is like this. Doesn't make it any less devastating though

[@emmaismyalterego]

Yes I can get very disappointed over small things and it can effect my whole day sometimes, and it would be nothing to someone else

[@TeamFriendship8600]

I'm autistic, and learned to generally communicate through body language because I've had people assume that I'm unhappy. For example, I give thumbs up when I'm happy, and if I'm sad or angry, I tend to stiffen up around other people and will seek out the nearest quiet space or put on headphones as a way to tell them I don't really feel like talking. I do also have different stims. I flap my hands or wiggle my fingers when I'm happy, I clench my teeth, scrunch my face, or make random grunts when I'm upset or overloaded. Another problem is that I can pace around when I'm happy, but neurotypicals usually assume that to be a sign of frustration. My NT sister once yelled at me for being impatient as I was pacing around the kitchen while she was getting ready to take me to a family Christmas dinner(which I suppose will now be a thing of the past), however, I didn't actually care about that and was just excited for the dinner. Honestly, neurotypicals can baffle me sometimes. I guess there are just a bunch of social rules that are ingrained into the NT mind at birth. We were having pizza at my aunt's house, me and my cousin went to pick up the pizza. I asked if I could take in the boxes for him, he said he got it and I said ok. Yet, when we got in I was judged for not taking in the boxes. If I ask someone if I can help when they don't need it, is it somehow more polite to annoy them by repeatedly insisting? I've even had a family member say it's like I live in my own fantasy world at times. I mean, have you seen the real world? As an adult, am I just supposed to give up my interests in books and video games? I generally find "adult" topics like politics to be uninteresting, and discussions like that usually end with one or both sides feeling frustrated. I prefer to watch Ren and Stimpy or Helluva Boss over any serious political debate.

[@TeamFriendship8600]

@Saturn I didn't mean it literally. But in reality, it is kind of the opposite, considering autism is a disability. People with autism tend to have a less developed social part of the brain, and so they are more likely to take things at face value. NTs don't have social rules ingrained, but the way the autistic brain is structured means that there are some things we might never understand about NT behavior.

[@TeamFriendship8600]

@Saturn For the disability thing, that really depends. Even high functioning people on the spectrum may be late to reach developmental milestones and may not have the best motor function(Of course, this isn't the case for everyone of them). But the common aspects such as sensory issues and social anxiety are disabilities, in my opinion. I personally don't think it would be a diagnosis if it was all positive. Yes, in some ways we are overdeveloped. There are studies showing that autistics tend to have more neurons than NT. Of course, the problem is that we are more likely to get mixed signals.

[@burlapandlacebookworm]

I have found myself laughing when talking when I'm mad or really heated ...I think it's mostly only when I've gotten to a point where I couldn't help but laugh at the absolute absurdity of the situation. When I just can't wrap my head around it being for real /seriously what's happening so the only way to process it is to have to laugh

[@The_wannabe_composer]

I'm not that Great at reading peoples feelings either, altough my intuition is pretty strong when it comes to that sort of things. So I can't usually see what they are feeling, but I can sense and sometimes feel what they are feeling. it might sound confusing haha. Sorry for a lot of comments!

[@kevinbassist5214]

Same, I get the ping that something is happening but I have no idea what

[@The_wannabe_composer]

@@kevinbassist5214 same here! Then i just usually ask "whats wrong?" Or something xD

[@KatAddrene]

Same it's like I can feel whether their energy is positive or negative, and kinda compare that to their body language and face and get somewhat of an idea of what they're feeling. Like I swear I can feel the energy they're putting out, it's so strange. I think it has something to do with hypersensitivity.

[@madleina9]

Same and if i know people i can hear sometimes sounds weird (it it that word? I dont know)

[@AlwayzADelight]

Yes, I can feel their emotions.

[@lorensims4846]

Interesting theories, I don't really buy either of them. When I was in second grade we were asked to draw self portraits. I sort of felt the outline of my lips and drew my mouth as a trapezoid. When I looked at the other pictures they usually had smiling faces. I was going for accuracy and I was quite interested in what I was doing but the face in the picture looked comparatively bored. When my sister texted she was traveling across several states to come visit me after my wife died, I responded with basically "Oh. OK" thinking about whether I should even let her in my house where I didn't even have anyplace for her to sit. When she arrived she didn't have any problem with not going into the house but was upset that I didn't seem excited when she said she was coming. After that I've always made it a point to try to sound enthusiastic basically about any news she has. This seems to have worked out reasonably well. Basically I try to put myself in her shoes (and she's generally a very enthusiastic person) rather than worry about my own concerns. She told me years ago that she could tell if I was starting to tell her someone died because I would always have this odd smile on my face, which I'm sure is a result of tension and nervousness.

[@burlapandlacebookworm]

Ooo those big responses to 'little' things totally happen for me. When things don't turn out as planned or expected I'm just DONE and totally check out and can get really mad. My brain just can't switch quickly to adjust to something other than the experience of what I was expecting. Maybe a similar example for me could be at a restaurant - if they don't have what I wanted, I'll just instantaneously lose my appetite, be frustrated, mad, irritated, and want to either just leave or will stay with my family /friends but not order anything because I'm too upset.

[@minksrule2196]

This is why I'm too scared to try new things at restaurants because if I order something that I try and don't like it then it does feel like the end of the world

[@ashleysjourney110]

I just got diagnosed and was told I have severely limited facial expressions which explains why I am told I have such a good “poker face” I always look neutral. Unless I’m crying.

[@hamzagallo2000]

I’ve always been told I had an amazing poker face aswell

[@Lovelynrose007]

My partner is on the spectrum, and he used to always think I was upset. I had to constantly try to be over the top cheerful, couldn’t just relax without him thinking there was an issue, It was really taxing on me.

[@kittykatt6740]

People laugh so hard they cry. Also being told our whole lives we should smile more. Because RBF is my default irl face.

[@CitrasFlava]

I am not diagnosed but getting tested in a week and I can never tell if the person is happy or mad because I dont trust smiles and anything beyond that I figured im just getting taking advantage of so I use a deduction system and apply ockums razor to evrything like its the law.

[@SinfulSloth]

I actually looked into getting an assessment for ASD because of one of your videos, I now have a diagnosis and it's opened up a whole new world for me. I was diagnosed in December last year and I'm now getting treatment through an amazing psychologist, OT, etc. We're focussing on emotions in therapy and i had no idea that I didn't show facial expressions unless I'm in melt down [I'd chalked meltdowns down to anxiety because I shake and cry, now I know better.] It's a mind blowing process.

[@minksrule2196]

I had to practice facial expressions when I was a teenager and apparently when I put on a sad or annoyed face on purpose it's a bit too intense

[@treywhite4186]

I had to learn to react the way people expect me to.

[@Lucy-in9zy]

I actually seem to have really exaggerated facial expressions, and have seen some research to suggest that some neurodivergent people do. I'll try to have a neutral expression for a passport photo, and then find I look really distressed in the picture. I can be a bit worried and look terrified or a bit annoyed and look like I'm about to kill someone. I find it really hard to know my facial expressions might be scary to other people and am constantly worried about them. Is any of this something anyone reading this relates to?

[@oxxy6678]

100%

[@mongoose9851]

I can relate to. My slightly annoyed expression looks like I'm really angry.

[@peter-radiantpipes2800]

Yeah my 6 year old is pretty expressive but when he is very excited about something, like a present, we have no idea how much he likes it. It took a couple times to figure it out but we would notice a half hour later him talking about the new toy, stimming and then talks about how much he loves it. :). We are starting to think he may have dyslexia too but haven’t discussed with anyone yet. your channel and vids are great as always. 👍

[@ryansuttree8054]

My wife says people cannot read my face. That my face does not show the emotions I’m feeling. Once I was telling some friends about a tragedy related to my dad. They did not react as I’d hoped they would (empathy), but rather basically changed the subject. My wife suggested it might have been because my face communicated that I did not really care about what I was talking about. I can sometimes tell that my face is not matching how I’m actually feeling but I can’t make my face look like how I’m feeling and I can get self conscious about how strange it might seem.

[@keepgoingalwaysnomatterwha9328]

Not showing emotional physical expression is just as difficult as over showing emotional physical expression. I fell people have hard time with both expressions

[@becd2239]

I over show my emotional physical expression.

[@keepgoingalwaysnomatterwha9328]

@@becd2239 exactly!! And how do people perceive you with your expression?

[@lastspud7030]

Thanks, I understand a bit more about my son every time I watch one of your videos

[@eBoard3R]

Sounds like a meltdown or shutdown, can't do what I "needed" to so it shifts my mood, anythin from sad to really frustrated, lastin a short time or longer.

[@Anath19]

I remember the first time I realized there was a disconnect between my facial expressions and my emotions. Sixteen-ish years ago, I was hanging out with a new high school friend and I was having a GREAT time playing video games with him all day. When it was time to head home, he apologized for not entertaining me that well - he thought I had a miserable time because my happiness didn't show up in my facial expressions. Ever since then, I've been trying my best to act out my emotions (for lack of a better word) to try to let other people know how I'm feeling... with varying degrees of success.

[@bronsonjohnson9019]

This is actually was the crux of my suspicions of my autism. My wife was saddened by my reaction on our wedding day because I didn’t look like I was reacting to see her on our wedding day. I mean I did, it was internal. But I didn’t outwardly react and she said that’s when she knew. It took me like 7 more years to realize for myself, and now I’m seeking a psychologist. Why is it that we are the last to know?! Lol

[@Alittlelexus]

When i cry, my whole body shakes uncontrollably it makes me sleepy i have a nap and im fine after a 20minute nap.

[@KatAddrene]

Yep for me it's either super happy or super sad, no in between. It kinda feels like my brain doesn't have those other emotions programmed into the facial software....lol. Butttt I do the maladaptive daydreaming thing a lot, so when I'm in that world sometimes I react to whatevers happening in my "dream" and that's like the only time I ever do other expressions naturally. In real world situations I'm always forcing the smiles and laughs.

[@dollyhewett2553]

THANK YOU. VERY HELPFUL.

[@bryanmerton5153]

Great Video Dan. When I was young people always used to say that I looked sad. I learned to just shoot a smile when I get together with people Not because I was happy just to not appear sad. You explained the whole body feeling even with the small things. This happens to me all of the time. My partner is used to it and knows to wait about 20 minutes for me to get right I also cant read facial expressions unless I have a context. Like you I get happy and sad( with tears😀) but not all of the stuff in the middle. I also have trouble recognizing people out of context. Like a friend or a neighbor at the mall. I do eventually get it, but it takes a while. I tell friends that if they are mad at me or sad to tell me as I might not get it😀. Thanks again for all oft your hard work, you videos are awesome!

[@jayphailey]

For me it was never that organized. Just my face was always wrong, and people were always mad at me or put off for reasons I couldn't track

[@darkangelprincess101]

That is so true for me if I had something planned and I'm unable to do it and I didn't even think it back up plan just in case I couldn't I have a hard time handling not being able to do what I planned. And it takes me awhile to calm down enough to do anything else

[@middledog466]

i absolutely relate to the physical manifestation of a frustrated mood (esp when it comes to the disappointment of a plan interruption) i didn't realize for the longest time how clear my body language was to read when it came to my extreme mood drops - i thought i hid my emotions well and people wouldn't notice my discomfort. my closest friend told me about two years ago they can tell when i'm upset, and after some inquiring, turns out a lot of it is my body language and facial expressions. i just thought they knew me really well lol but now i know i just wasnt as slick at hiding it as i thought i sometimes worry just how many times i "gave myself away" when i wasn't feeling well - not because i think it's immoral to feel poorly about something, but because i know how i was likely judged for being rude or reactive when i never meant to even express my frustrations

[@kevinhughes3477]

Oh I totally get what you're saying about routines! It's like it can be feel really overwhelming.

[@meadowfraser1033]

i have the ‘tism and i can never tell if people are crying or laughing, i hate it cause i actually can’t tell the difference and sometimes when people are crying i try to laugh with them thinking they are laughing and then i look mean

[@ceciliemarenhalvorsen9325]

Sometimes when my husband telles me something that’s bothering him and he is very upset about, I apparently doesn’t show any emotions to what he is saying. My face doesn’t, but I listen to him. I have Aspergers and I haven’t connected the dots to why he gets angry and say I don’t care about what he is saying. But I really do but my face doesn’t show him the right emotions. Thanks for great videos. I’m learning so much about myself and ASD.

[@Ember.Ash.Yorkies]

I’ve realized I don’t like last minute changes like what you experienced at the store. Oddly, I’ve felt like I’ve needed at least a day planned out to do whatever I want to prepare mentally and physically and I’ll make plans for whatever needs to get done for the following day. Weird, but I’ve always done this.

[@HannahRainbow88]

Holy crap, YES to the bad mood snowball! My (also ASD) Hubby drives me nuts when he changes plans coz he just "isn't in the mood" to eat/do whatever we've previously planned and it can throw me off for the rest of the day! ... As for facial expressions I usually get close to what they're meant to be, but look dreadful in photos/videos coz I seem to have EXTRA expressions like Jim Carrey 😅

[@SydneyElliott777]

I can relate to a lot of this. Communication, anger, frustration, always questioning my emotions and others emotions, a lot of what you said I actually struggle with. Sometimes it’s very awkward for me to look in someone’s eyes especially an adult. It all depends

[@vivisoutingsdragkikiandchi3529]

It’s in my father’s side of the family that emotion is hard to share but especially being Autistic it’s even more of a hinderance. When people ask me questions about how I am feeling it makes me feel like a madman because I can be really upset and try to make a positive joke out of being completely unhappy with my surroundings. As you said, unless we are laughing and smiling or crying you can’t really tell. People who laugh when they’re crying tend to confuse me because it’s like “well, which is it?” I have been on a small personal plane and my stepdad who was flying the plane asked me how I felt... my response was a simple, “yeah, we’re flying.”

[@kelcamer]

As a 26 year old fellow aspie woman I LOVE this video thank you for explaining it!!!! I can relate sooo much. And yes I know exactly what you mean with laughing as a coping mechanism, it’s actually something I struggled with for so long

[@books4me13]

I TOTALLY get that what you were saying about when you plan to do something and when that changes, it’s a HUGE bummer & because your routine has changed, so does your mood. I am so very like that and totally “get” it. Sometimes I just can’t shake that feeling and I can get really frustrated snd pissy (pardon my French). 😉 I thought I was weird and the only person like that! Thanks for sharing that particular info, Dan! It really hit home! ☺️

[@northwestgirl930]

I feel that way too, when something stressful happens. I've noticed that even though my mood does pick back up, every time something like that happens it's like a burning fuse and I don't ever really see it coming when that fuse runs out. I think I'm calm again, but I'm actually about to have a meltdown.

[@lobby4545]

I’m autistic and I have adhd and ocd so I’m glad I found your channel👌. Growing up I wasn’t great at expressing my emotions physically and I’m still awkward on dates and other things because of it and ppl just take it as me being rude or ungrateful when that’s not the case at all I wish ppl understood

[@iamamanda88]

Yes I can't tell if people are happy either because they crying I'm be confused why cry if you happy

[@Sky-Child]

Oh also... that face you make when someone gives you a SURPRISE present and you HATE it...

[@ritahodges254]

I quickly get stressed out and anxious and it takes forever to settle down. If I have 2 people on opposite sides of me both saying the same thing it feels like they are attacking me even if they aren't but they are saying I am wrong I will have meltdowns. I have finally learned to most of the time feel it building up, but not all of the time.

[@jennyjjoassaint9203]

thank you for this video cause I am like this ( most people would get mad or tell me why am I like this and stuff... but now I know what's goin on

[@jeremysarcvlogs9188]

Trust me I can actually relate to this because even though I have a motion I can't show it for some reason I hope I get support here and I'm trying to bring my show back

[@wenshrigandy2621]

Recently I made up a song for my guy,,,, after singing my heart out all he did was give me a smile for 5 seconds then that's it.... I was like "oowwwkkaaayyy so that's it?",,,, then I remembered he was autistic and that I should learn more about autism most especially in Adults

[@dakotajacobson4250]

So my twin brother, and I are on the spectrum. We where diagnosed at a very young age, in the 90's. So back then, there was still a lot unknown about A.S.D. I also have dyslexia, O.C.D, Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia, photophobia, chronic migraines, and some other neurological, and psychological issues associated with being on the spectrum. But my brother and I had a really hard time growing up with facial expressions, tone of voice, and emotions of other people. Now I have wonderful parents, who helped my brother and I, and have always been there to support us. My parents homeschooled us. We took speech therapy, and OT. I have a job. I have friends. So a lot of people honestly can't tell I'm on the spectrum unless I tell them. But I do find this interesting. Because I get told a lot, that it's hard to read emotion on me. So a example is when I'm pissed, sad, in pain, anxious, or just not feeling well. All those emotions look very similar in my facial expression. So it can create a bit of confusion for other people, if they don't know me well. Anyway interesting video, as always!

[@swymaj02]

The pain of not being able to do something, too true. Also my face sometimes misleads ppl into thinking I'm sad.

[@endlessrage4062]

My overriding memory as a kid growing up was my old man(rip dad) saying ‘put your face straight….’

[@bunnened...2913]

Me- Anger:😐 Happiness:😐 Disturbance:🙁 Sadness:😖

[@phoenix_rising1375]

Yes omg what should be minor inconveniences or changes in plan or if someone tells me "oh I'm going to go to the store and grab etc and come home" or "I'm omw back now" and then they decide to make another stop and don't tell me it makes me so frustrated and angry, I feel like I've been lied to when really they may have just remembered they needed something else and forgot to call. I just have a really hard time with changes in expectation without clear communication about it. If I have plans or expectations for something to occur on a specific schedule or at a certain time or in a set order and it doesnt happen like that it really throws me off. And I've often had people ask me if I was upset with them or tell me they don't know if Im serious or joking because of the lack of inflection in my voice or my facial expression

[@BloosSelfReliance]

Yup totally understand the whole physical mood drop thing.

[@MORTEMANIMAyt]

I don't express emotions but I'm dying inside

[@andrewwatts8303]

I have the same issues with facial expressions. Also, it can be rather frustrating when my strict routines are interrupted. That's one thing I really like about living all by myself.

[@Toni-lo9ms]

My resting face is neutral unless I'm masking. I have a sort of slight smile if I am. When I'm laughing or crying and it's not a meltdown my face is expressive but only while I'm doing so and maybe a moment or two after. In a crisis situation I appear completely emotionless. A meltdown usually manifests as rage or despair visually even when it's just that I'm overwhelmed. No idea whether these are typical (not that there actually is a typical for a spectrum) but those are the faces of me. Never thought of it as an issue with my brain communicating my emotions specifically so this was helpful information.

[@dancoleman1269]

Yes. I have Asperger's. I definitely relate. Some small thing happens (like a small disappointment) and it can ruin my attitude or happiness for an entire day. Likewise, a big disappointment can happen and I tend to obsess over it for months. My wife says I should put it behind me, forget about it, etc. She says that is what she would do. But disappointments like that tend to bother me for months though.

[@thed.a.4939]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. My parents have always said whist growing up that I'm either "too hot or too cold." And there are other times where they said I'm like a robot. My interview with my neurologist was true in the latter case.

[@bhe915]

I can relate to the long emotion / mood experience. Other people notice as well. It takes me a long time to process things sometimes.

[@annabellespinning7719]

Thanks for sharing Dan. Tho, I wonder if there are more nuances out there regarding emotions for the wider neuro diverse community? Myself having ADHD I show A LOT of emotions but my teen daughter who has autism shows much less but what we do have in common is that we are ACUTELY aware of other people’s emotional states. We can feel it before looking to the face and any words are spoken and I often absorb their emotions as my own. I’m not sure my daughter absorbs it like me but she is incredibly good at reading people and environments in just a few moments. I’m tempted to think here that this could be a gender difference but my large family are all various shades of neuro diverse and both males and females have a hella mix of ASC(ASD) traits. What do you guys think? Any adhd people out there showing lots of emotions and any one being autistic but highly sensitive to others?

[@becd2239]

Hi :) Yes, me! I am autistic and I have ADHD and I show lots of emotions in my face, body language, verbal language; I am also highly sensitive to other's emotions. It is actually pretty exhausting tbh!

[@bladeofSteele]

I have discovered that I am too expressive. How I express my emotions is more animated than other people. Oddly enough, I recently got bangs, and they cover my eyebrows a little bit, and I think that subdues the expressions a little bit.

[@kaipoland3174]

Hell yeah big wave of emotions that pass quickly definitely is something i experience i have ASD

[@Miwako_vklolita]

it does happen to me. actually last week because i wanted pizza and had asuffering face because i couldnt have it, but then i was ok.. i have gotten in so many troubles in life because of my emotions and reactions overall..

[@jackd.rifter3299]

Yeah, I've had a lot of these things, especially during my teen years (I think that's when I was 'most flat' because there was too much going on with puberty and emotional expression was expendable as a resource at the time I thought) and I remember Christmases where everyone questioned if I liked my gift and when I had a son her family said I didn't behave like I should...

[@amberanema6078]

I’m not good at reading facial expressions though I’m not horrible, but I always listen to someone’s voice and try to analyze it and that’s how I know how somebody is feeling. Don’t know if that’s just me though.. Also.I kinda hate my birthday, because my family wants some kind of reaction out of me when they give me a present and I just seem to not be able to give them the right one. The same with compliments and sadness. I mean I can cry, but most times when I’m sad I just shut down and look emotionless instead of sad.

[@vince.420]

I just dont want people around me to know how im feeling i also wear sunglasses a lot so i dont have to hide teary eyes

[@Wutwutjustme]

My neutral face; Others: "Why are you angry?" "Stop looking mad" "Is something wrong?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Having a bad day?" Me: "Huh? What are you talking about?" Regarding the mood thing when your routine changes: Can definitely relate! For me, 2 things happen. 1: I literally forget something else that I was supposed to do AFTER the thing that changed and depending on what changed, I sometimes need over a day to adjust on bigger things (I NEVER do anything last-minute because of this.) Example: Suddenly going grocery shopping to get things outside of planned times/days makes me thing it's the day AFTER the first day that I was supposed to get groceries. (If I had to, for example, do grocery shopping on thursday and I went on wednesday, then the very next day everything, INCLUDING MY ENTIRE ROUTINE, would make me think and feel like it was friday and I would do everything that I would do on friday. I would even think that it was friday until I'd see "thursday" somewhere). 2: I get annoyed/upset. Depending on how much my routine was changed, this feeling can last for hours. Can't properly focus/concentrate anymore either.

[@prestigemultimediagroup6436]

Yes,yes,and yes to all the let you knows

[@pink81445]

Lol I can so relate to your missed run agony! One time I was late to my gym class and they locked the door for covid restrictions. I went back to my car and cried!

[@helenhublar577]

If there is a change of plans it can ruin my whole day and even week. Even if I wasn't looking forward to the plans. I'd love to be able to handle this better.

[@jcp5890]

I can sense others moods though. And I use my words well!!! Learned to say exactly what I think and feel and need. Makes me even more weird. And i too love to stay busy!!!

[@kevinhughes3477]

I have a really hard time with reading people's facial expressions and non-verbal ques too

[@Petertwohig1948]

My girlfriend thinks it means that I: don't care about her/am not listening/am being rude/would rather not be talking to her/unwilling to communicate. I tell her I have been like this SINCE I WAS A CHILD, but to no avail. I have a lifetime of bullying because of my straight face, but I feel so fucking bad about forcing myself to register emotions on my face. My brain hates it.

[@Dabeast57944FN]

Can you tell me at what age you accepted your asperger's? My son is 10 and not doing well with being aware of it

[@rechnin6680]

I have regular issues with my work computer disconnecting, forgetting passwords and that always sends me in to a spiral. that "da-dunk" noise is enough. I've also been told I rarely smile and constantly have RBF.

[@ShadOfDeth]

Something that really gets me upset and frustrated, sometimes really angry, is when I go to the shops to get something specific I want and the shop doesn't have it. I usually calm down after an hour but I feel so drained and tired.

[@GreenGoblinGurl]

I’ve used the laugh thing after I saw it being used because I’ll go through hell and the person who inflicted the hell will say something that makes me speechless so I laugh because “wow”