late diagnosed autistic adults: 10 experiences✨

[@luvqraft6024]

I get hooked on the same band and listen to their songs over and over. For years

[@JesusistheOnlyWay222]

I recently saw.this is the same for adhd. Crossover signs? My son shakes his head and cringes that I can play a song on repeat. I guess the repeat/loop feature was created for all of us!?

[@katrinawilliams437]

I do the same

[@cheryldailing1294]

SAME

[@brightspacebabe]

I do the same, and also with reaction videos to songs on YT. I just discovered Tom Macdonald and guess who I listen to every day 😂Also do this with movies

[@SBecktacular]

Opposite for me- I have to have new, but when I find a new good song I listen over and over, for like a week- can hear it in my head on a loop until it’s worn out, then I have to find something new.

[@ALCV11]

I get misperceived so much. I’m a fawner, and a people-pleaser, and extremely hyper vigilant. I try so hard to help, that sometimes I miss that people don’t want help, they want to vent. And I try to relate, but people think I’m making it about myself. And I try to be participatory at work, to overcompensate for wanting to be alone. It comes across as too much. I know that because I constantly scrutinize and try to adjust but I can’t find the perfect balance. It’s so hard because I know most people don’t think about ANY of this-they simply are.

[@natnat8733]

Yes. This.

[@Crowzena]

oh man.. you are me.

[@daggymation]

"They simply are'. Exactly. I've always thought that everyone else already came with instructions included. On how to act, what to say, how to socialise. My manual was missing from the box I came in, from the very beginning.

[@charlie-girl72]

Agreed exactly me , 🤗

[@hoosierhometeam]

It's exhausting, isn't it?

[@luvqraft6024]

The need to be alone … constantly being accused of ghosting.

[@JesusistheOnlyWay222]

So ghosting crosses disorders? Because certain avoidant attachment styles also ghost

[@luvqraft6024]

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 guess so

[@lifevitality]

I feel like everything you are saying describes my life!!

[@madazaboxofrogzz8884]

This is me ... Since my kids grew up & left school I have isolated myself more & more... I'm tierd of people telling me what I need & how I should Interact... I know myself ❤

[@ItCantRainForever2]

Yes I ghost people alot not even knowing I do it.

[@NatNat-uu9cs]

I recently learned about the "T-rex" autism arm position. A memory that suddenly came back to me that I used to do that in elementary school and got made fun of, so I forced myself to stop. And suddenly, everything makes sense. Extreme people pleasing, even to the point of putting myself in danger without immediately realizing it. The strong sense of justice. Sounds, lights, and senses bothering me. I can't stand unnatural air hitting me, plus the sound. Clutter building, but also bothering me. As a young child, I was really quiet, cuz I didn't understand other people, like how and what to communicate. Uncontrollable pore picking. Ability to see fine details others do not and repeating until perfection leading to the ability for art. Having one parking spot or seat I always go for, etc. I had no idea this whole time.

[@Seamannon]

relating to most of your list :)

[@r.w3056]

Me too

[@Stephanie-007]

❤

[@Lydiatattoolady]

Same! ❤

[@frenzyviz6296]

The T-Rex arm thing is me too, and other points.

[@haliec496]

I absolutely love being alone and feel most regulate. I guilt myself about it and when I push myself out there, I literally feel so overwhelmed. It is definitely not social anxiety, I have a job where I interact with the public & I love it, but outside of that role, i prefer being on my own. I relate to every point you mentioned.

[@christinacapra-greenlaw8370]

I feel you that was me when I worked in healthcare, I still love being a homebody🤗🫶🏻

[@slashf]

0. Assume camoflauging [5:21] 1. Highly sensitive person/empath/CPTSD, chronic mental health (anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, borderline PD, etc.) [6:45] 2. Chronic social challenges [8:59] 3. Strong sensory issues unrecognized [10:29] 4. Executive functioning hidden from others and even self [12:02] 5. Stimming behaviors hidden [13:38] 6. Over-thinking, over-feeling, over-analyzing [14:23] 7. Meltdowns, shutdowns, burnouts [15:28] 8. Chronic hyper-vigilance [16:14] 9. Routines & repetition [17:33] 10. Intimacy, touch, isolation [18:18]

[@solarflaress]

Thank you!

[@haliec496]

Thanks x

[@christinacapra-greenlaw8370]

Thank you💜

[@ellisd77]

I get misperceived a lot. When I was a kid I got blamed or punished, and wouldn't know what I had done wrong.

[@Portia620]

I’m still dealing with that with people that don’t get me!!!

[@Nutmeg142]

I get that a lot too as a kid and adult

[@EmpiricalPeace]

When I was a kid, I'd make comments that would piss people off, especially adults, and I'd have no idea why.

[@camellia8625]

I get you, negative intentions or negative character characteristics may be incorrectly assumed.

[@juliebrown7268]

Me too. Was it the same experience for your siblings. Curious.

[@cheryldailing1294]

Holy hell the overthinking over feeling and over analyzing... Story of My Life. I'm 57 and fighting to overcome this

[@yanaa1964]

Same

[@5p4l2k7]

Listen to the song Lateralus by TOOL

[@cheryldailing1294]

@@5p4l2k7 it's funny because I've heard that song many times but I don't think I've ever really listened.. I will go and listen now, thank you

[@tealkerberus748]

I'm not fighting it. Question Everything is a mantra. I think the most important thing to remember about Autism is that it is predominantly genetic, and it is widespread, and therefore up until recent times it must have had a positive selection impact or it wouldn't still be part of the gene pool by now. So I'm really working to just go with it - find ways to make the things I'm going to do anyway, have positive effects rather than negative.

[@cheryldailing1294]

@@tealkerberus748 fantastic observation!

[@sarahb2652]

Thank you for shining a light on these issues. I have spent my whole life being told I have depression and anxiety. I have done courses, taken medication, had clinical hypnotherapy, all to try and help myself but it never has been enough, it still always felt like I was different, broken, unable to deal with so much but I just masked it my whole life. Finally over the last year or so I realised I have CPTSD and that I also have high masking autism, I believe all my mental health problems stem from trying to live in a world, for 51 years, that was not accommodating to my neurodiverse brain, hence anxiety, depression, CPTSD. All the traits are so identifiable to me and it's so emotional and a relief to finally know why life has been so hard and traumatising. Thank you for helping me find my way at last. I finally feel a sense of peace with myself, I am not fighting myself continuously or beating myself up anymore as I now understand why I struggle with some things. 🙏

[@faeriesmak]

Yes. This exactly. I really relate to everything that you said.

[@dessileemcneill5224]

I relate to that as well.

[@leoniphelan5278]

You said that so well and I relate ❤

[@SeriousSagittarius]

I relate!

[@Darkles295]

I had to screenshot this because you articulated it so well!

[@StrGzr101]

Understanding has most definitely "changed the way I look at my life," Dr. Sage. At sixty-eight, it is the finest experience and is freeing me from a lifetime of misunderstanding my own mind.

[@karenholmes6565]

It reframes everything, doesn't it.

[@StrGzr101]

@@karenholmes6565 Oh Karen, you said it.

[@POCKBA]

That sounds wonderful❤

[@GoodBeets4ME]

yep.

[@StrGzr101]

@@POCKBA It is when I own it. I try not to believe everything I think.

[@juluminous]

The difficulty paying bills and scheduling doctor’s appointments!!! 😮 I’ve been castigating myself for these things for decades! Everything else in the video I relate to as well, but these two are so validating. The rage response to noises, like babies crying and alarms, trucks reversing beeping, tags and certain thread types in clothing…. On and on. I’m so grateful to you for this 🖤.

[@nellarcherthepsychicchanne2065]

The beeps at the self serve supermarket in Australia are unbearable.

[@juluminous]

@@nellarcherthepsychicchanne2065oh I can imagine.

[@invisableobserver]

I can relate

[@pashaveres4629]

Ice cube trays. Dumping ice cubes into a plastic bin. Banging and clanging the dishes. Whew!

[@usedscar]

I hate being too sensitive. Lights, smells and noises oh no!

[@lisawanderess]

I was diagnosed ASD at 50 after being diagnosed with CPTSD in my 40s, which had been previously diagnosed as Bipolar, post-natal depression, generalised anxiety disorder, and adjustment disorder. The psychiatrist who assessed me and diagnosed me autistic said she was shocked that, given my almost constant therapy over my lifetime, nobody had suggested autism as a possibility because she said I was so obviously autistic. Now I’ve found out what that means and watched so many videos about it and especially late diagnosed women’s stories, it’s such a relief to know others share the experience of the debilitating struggles I’ve had all my life. It feels good to know all my quirks that I’ve been teased for all my life are common amongst other autistics! I truly thought it was just my unique weirdness 😂

[@johnmraz4000]

i found out at 50 too. what a trip. i'm so happy for kids who find out earlier than we did. when i was doing the facial expressions book i almost fainted. i'm a great test taker. i got maybe 4 out of 100 and they were guesses. i asked the therapist 'can people really do this?' i'll never forget. she put her hand on my shoulder and said 'john, this is the book we test 5 and 6 year olds with.' that moment changed my life

[@lf5802]

This made me tear up. I'm 38 and related to every single thing in this video. I'm hoping one day I can try to get a diagnosis because there is so much shame and difficulty with things in my life.

[@cezbabe]

What quirks do you have?

[@ItCantRainForever2]

Same here it is a relief to know we are not crazy just different and unique.

[@madazaboxofrogzz8884]

I'm still struggling to get my doctor to take me seriously apparently I've been depressed since I was 14 I'm now 50 all my kids are autistic Asperger's ADHD I literally cry every day out of frustration .. I've told the doctor I want answers but was told I'm rude . I'm not rude I'm exhausted x

[@booklassygarrahan3929]

I have had people say I come across as aggressive or confrontational when that wasn't the emotion I was feeling at all. Often, it's when I am excited about something. It's so shocking to me that how I feel is so different to how I am perceived sometimes.

[@siobhanboyle8105]

Me too. I think I’m being clear and adamant but people misperceive it as aggressive.

[@PattyDalmau]

OMG same thing here! It’s sad to see your own relatives exclude you. I learned it’s better to be alone with my furry friend than continually standing my ground in toxic relationships. I walk away now, I’m 71, I know myself.

[@siobhanboyle8105]

@ lol my two furry friends are better than human friends!

[@kellibabb6141]

When you listed skin picking as hidden stimming, I had a very strong reaction. I do that and I've been exploring whether I'm autistic lately.

[@LovinglfDesigns]

Totally relate to the skin picking. To the point where I had to train myself to stop because I was ruining my facial skin. But the skin picking would just move to a different part of my body.

[@RiverMay0515]

I have skin picked for a long time. I had to get myself to stop because I was creating scars but I cant really stop...

[@77rosato]

Me too. I've picked Mt scalp since my teens and I'm 50+. I'm.noticing other symptoms and believe I am on the spectrum.

[@troywhelply6742]

This was one of the things that got my attention. It's something I did my whole life until I started unmasking (though I had no idea at the time that unmasking was what I was doing) Drove my first wife nuts. Her family would complain that I would just pick at my nails and "not pay attention" or participate in conversation. Little did they realize that I had my conversational DVR running and could recite to them nearly every word they had said. Ah, good times.

[@Kimbo-95]

If I don't keep my nails short I will scratch in my sleep :(

[@DebbieSandford-1807]

I'm 60 - I have all these things, you've explained, and for as long as I can remember I'm treated for depression and OCD - I'm in shock right now. I've never realised other people feel the same as me

[@PMC889]

the colors on your set are so calming

[@DRSmith8808]

Dr. Kim - Your video about C-PTSD leading to autism has literally changed my life. I brought it up to my therapist 6 months ago and she got a big smile on her face. Reason being that she suspected that I was autistic but still was not sure if that would trigger me to learn. I am still not formally diagnosed mostly out of fear of being told I’m NOT autistic. Because as you said it validates so much for me. Since then Autism and neurodivergence have totally become a special interest. In the past 4 months I’ve gone from being on a Neurodiversity committee at work to being on the verge on starting a company wide neurodiversity program. I guess that’s what happens when you align a persons job duties with their special interests!!! Thank you so much Kim.

[@karenholmes6565]

Autism is not caused by trauma. Autism is a developmental disorder you are born with. I was autistic before I suffered any trauma. I think the narrative that if a person is autistic that their parents failed them (usually it is blamed on parents) causes more stigma and it keeps parents in denial about their kids having autism. They blame themselves, and that isn't productive because it just isn't true. Our brains process differently. I think that a traumatized brain can mimic some of the issues that autistic brains have, but autism is genetic and it is something you are born with. You can have lovely parents like mine, who were loving and supportive and made you feel safe and secure, and still be autistic. I was autistic from my earliest memories. I had autistic traits since I was literally a baby.

[@DRSmith8808]

Then I guess Dr. Sage, my therapist and everything else I’ve read about this are wrong. And yes genetics are the other main cause. I grew up with an eggshell narcissistic mother who knowing what I know now is also likely autistic. So I’m pretty sure I have both boxes checked. Not to mention that ASD manifests differently in everyone. Looking back now the signs were there for me as a child but like so many others it wasn’t identified until much later in life.

[@karenholmes6565]

@@DRSmith8808 You misunderstand me. I did not say that autistic people do not sometimes have awful parents, they do. I think that when allistic people raise autistic people there's going to be trauma from that. They do not understand our special needs. They can be harsh because they do not get our neurology is vastly different. I would say that Dr Sage and your therapist are wrong in that if you do not get autism from bad parenting. That causes CPTSD which can look like autism, but they are different conditions. One is a genetic developmental disorder, the other is like a brain injury. The type of parenting you receive may have increased the trauma of living as an autistic person. I am truly not trying to diminish pain of growing up in a home that did not meet your needs. I think it is important to look at someone's entire medical history before diagnosing them with autism. I have an assessment scheduled in next week with a neurological psychologist that specializes in diagnosing developmental disorders. Autism has become my special interest for the last year so I spent 100s of hours researching it and a 1000 more comparing my life history for signs of autism. Why is it so important to me to make this distinction between cptsd and autism being different disorders? Because the treatment for them is different. If you've got ptsd cognitive behavioral therapy is the standard of care. It is really impactful for people with cptsd. If you've got undiagnosed autism CBT often doesn't help you. I had 3 different therapisst and it did not help me. I was told I think too much, or that I wasn't concentrating on the real problem because they couldn't understand that the things I found traumatizing are different from an allistic person. It is all really complicated. Autistic women get misdiagnosed, or our autism complicates treatment for other mental health conditions we develop. Think of it this way, you can have autism and PTSD. Being autistic actually increases your likelihood of getting CPTSD. But you cannot get autism from your CPTSD because it is a genetic developmental disorder you are born with. You have to go back to your earliest childhood to know if what you've got is autism. If your symptoms were not present since birth you are not autistic. That is according to all of the literature and the diagnostic criteria.

[@deborahrotondo7792]

My husband was diagnosed at age 59, he has had trauma in his youth into adulthood, his parents and teachers didn't understand him. He now has CPTSD caused by being cheated and ripped off at his job. He really suffers a lot, he will be 70 next year.

[@DRSmith8808]

@@karenholmes6565Thanks for clarifying and explaining the difference. I misspoke when I said that C-PTSD causes autism, rather it can have similar traits. And you’re right about how people blaming bad parents for causing autism perpetuating a stigma.

[@skylarspeaks11]

"i kind of didn't really care what other people thought sometimes-on the outside-but of course i did on the inside." this sentence describes me perfectly.

[@skylarspeaks11]

also, i love the music at the ending and beginning of the video-it's so peaceful!

[@kelseydavidson569]

Found out in the last 6-8 months that I'm autistic and I'm honestly in denial even though it makes 100% sense. People have tried to diagnose me with depression, bipolar, ocd, sensory issues etc etc. But I learned to read before I was 3, I have hyperlexia. I "neglect" a lot of things in my life. I have tons of special interests and forget to tend to my relationships sometimes. I had to learn to advocate for myself throughout my life. Sensory issues my entire life. Lights, fans, sounds, textures. Sometimes I will have to repeat things 10-100x before I'm sick of it. I have specific routines I need to keep myself in check and if I don't take care of myself I will snap. The rage with certain noises - but then before autism awareness I just kept telling myself I needed to practice "tolerance" and stop controlling others (which are still great skills) I mask so much and always have my entire life. Your videos help a lot. I'm still embracing/grieving this diagnosis because I think I judge the community. And that's something for me to reflect on.

[@kelseydavidson569]

Repeating phrases. Skin picking. Toe picking. Fixations. Being stuck. When I was younger I was more hyperviligant although I still overthink. Multiple tabs in my brain all the time.

[@enzopollazzon9625]

I completely understand the denial. I have been recently diagnosed and it still doesnt feel completely real but at the same time it makes a lot of sense. I havent even told my family about the diagnosis because they were always against the idea that i was autistic and would most likely gaslight.

[@jenniferroy6288]

I have cheered on my autistic son into adulthood, saying it’s a challenge but makes him so amazing!! When I finally realized I,too,was autistic I wasn’t as compassionate to myself.

[@TashaRoscoe]

bang on,hit it all on the nail.I have been told Im an introvert,empath,highly sensitive,etc....thank god you esist and do what you do.thank you, i will be following you from now on.

[@jamesmcmahon7837]

Late diagnosed at 52 .. Autistically researched for last 2 years. Thank you Kim. Can say this is the most comprehensive and accurate description of my experience I have come across. Would recommend this video to anyone investigating whether they may be autistic or researching post late diagnosis. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@AshleyNovinger]

FRIENDS is literally my obsession. I can't even tell you how many time's I've watched the entire collection, all 10 seasons, back to back. I didn't realize why I was doing this until Matthew Perry passed away. It broke me. I felt like my father had died. He was my comfort. Now I still watch it and cherish every second of his existence. He was such a good man that was dealt a bad hand. His book is great if anyone is wondering!! Highly recommend!

[@northofyou33]

I've always known I'm weird, and my kids even accused me of being autistic, but I felt offended by the idea of "labeling" myself, so I just ignored the idea. Until this past year. I become more and more convinced, the more research I do, that my kids were right and I am neurodivergent.

[@kathyiszkula6710]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You have a talent for understanding connections, and clearly communicating, smoothly, and spontaneously what you have learned. If you do any interviewing on utube with people who 200% ! identify with almost every last thing you said ; I can be reached on “What’s Up”. Otherwise I Wish All The Best For You.

[@AliceGamble-e5o]

I think it is a whole new journey, as in Wecome Home self. Education, especially heartfelt authenticity is just amazing from Dr. Sage. She is phenomenally intuituve.

[@binathere2574]

Same

[@heidimisfeldt5685]

Autistic means that you are absolutely 💯 % awesome. ❤ 😊

[@c.g.bspendersashtray3037]

What's the thought process behind not liking the idea of labels or being offended by them? I've met a lot of people who have a visceral reaction to "labels" but they have no problem with a cancer diagnosis or a diabetes diagnosis or any other label used to describe a diagnosis. I have a theory why people get upset but I need to ask because it is foreign to me. I can understand if someone didn't want to be labelled in a derogatory manner, such as the way women are labelled with slurs. That makes sense because it isn't true.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@steceymorgan814]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@steceymorgan814]

Is he on instagram?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.

[@GOODLANDLORD]

Diagnosed at 44, shortly after my son was. Thank you for this video, I so get all of this, and it's so nice to know it's not just another one of my failings :)

[@lexbreal]

Same- my adult child has been going through diagnosis and now looking at me like….. ‘whenever your ready mum’

[@littlefire1976]

Did it cost you money to get that diagnosis? Can someone on welfare get a diagnosis?

[@lexbreal]

@@littlefire1976 no; we had to ask Doctor for referral; give reason to doctors and fill forms etc. We waited three yrs!!! None of it was easy but the process is changing now and becoming a quicker process for others now apparently. I wish u the best of luck 🤞 I hope u find wonderful people to help like we did.

[@sconnection]

I know this video is mostly geared towards autistic females, assumed from the titles of your other videos, but I do feel I very strongly match with all 10 points you have given. I have looked up a lot of information about autism, and found high masking male autism can often look like female autism. Often some of the point are made with only the context of lesser masked autism so I often do not fully relate to the examples. This video really is an exception and showed me how I can interpret some of the major factors in autism signs. Outside of the points the avoidance of conflict and self silence is something I do a LOT. Mostly because my brain gets too stressed from speaking in conflict situations and I don`t want to shut down, or appear ‘aggressive’ when in a discussion/conflict. So it feel avoiding it altogether is the best option. 1. There is no doubt I`m socially anxious, or that I have self affirming anxiety. Don`t have have to give examples. One of the points I have always recognized when looking at autism signs. 2. Being socially different is also something that has always, even before I knew about autism, been clear to me. I never really was a regular teen or young adult in the things I wanted to do. And that drifted me away from the friends I did have at the time. This is mostly related to social situations young people take part in like parties. And it goes beyond just being introverted. 3. Sensory issues is one that I feel less connected with however the way you presented it does give me a couple of examples. Like smells that can really bother me. Or that I smell something while others do not. I also get very overstimulated when my children have other kids playing over that make playful sounds that I`m not used to. I don`t know if it is the sound itself, or that it is because the sound is normally not there. People that touch me has always been a problem. 4. The executive function struggles have also been hard for me to see in myself. But just the explanation of being able to do the things seemingly like other people would but it just costing you so much more energy, and being frustrated because you do not understand why it is costing you so much more energy than other people, sounds really like me. I never really had employment problems. 5. My stims are not very obvious and I also hide certain behaviors when other people are around. But I almost always have a pen in my mouth, as a child I always had my shirts or strings on the shirts in my mouth. I have a keycard for work and I very often click it lose and put it back in in a very repetitive style. At social gathering I always make sure to have a bottle or glass so I can touch the edges or peel off the stickers. 6. Overthinking, overanalysing, inner monologue and insomnia are just straight up yesses. With capital letters and no examples needed. 7. I shutdown a lot, but have learned to push them forward so I don`t really have them at work. Meltdowns in the traditional sense. I can only think of 2 or 3 times in the past 3-5 years. 8. I am also very hyper vigilant. Every sound or event can have multiple bad consequences in my mind as soon as I hear them. Both in social situations as in walking down the stairs and seeing myself (or others) falling for example. All little movies that play in my mind as the day happens. 9. Routines and repetition is less obvious but I do have some examples. Since I was a child I had a green toothbrush but when my son was around 3 he wanted a green toothbrush and my wife got me a blue toothbrush (we all always have different colors so we know who’s it is). It bothered me so so so much to not have my color. Because I always had green. I understood logically that it should not bother me so much. He was 3. But it did. It bothered me every single day until we switched back. For me it is mostly when other people make it so that something I always do a certain way is changed, but I can quite easily change an existing way of doing things when it is my own idea. 10. Intimacy and touch can be a problem. Before my wife I had tried to start a relationship with girls but it never worked out. I always stopped the relationship when things started to get physical. With my wife it never felt difficult. But when she for example comes up behind me and hugs me my initial reaction is to pull away but luckily my brain figures out quickly enough it is her so I almost never actually do it. After I told her about this she always tells me she is going to hug me when she wants to. I hate being touched by other people. But I almost never tell anyone this because I know it will be viewed as weird. So I just ‘struggle’ through it. I really like being alone, a great exception to this is my wife. She can (almost) always be with me without it bothering me. This is less so with my kids. I like being around them. But can be really bothered by them when I am doing something. I feel really really bad about feeling this. And I always try to not let them notice it. Because I really love them and I don`t want them to think otherwise. I also recognize being misperceived or misunderstood. I often have opinions I can back up with facts. But often people think of me as a bad person for doing this. As they view the subjects from a point of compassion or feelings. They tell me I`m a bad person for thinking about this purely from facts, but I know I`m not a bad person. Sorry for the big long text. I will be surprised if anyone actually reaches the end after reading the whole thing.

[@howzittyoda]

I reached the end 😂 I can relate exactly to most of what you wrote. I smiled as I read your dissertation. Written like a true autistic infodumper! Im right there with you brother. Why write one paragraph when 50 will do.

[@howzittyoda]

Im writing my own thesis including every childhood event I can remember that connects to autism. Your masterpiece triggered a number of memories I had forgotten. That pen sucking! I used to chew the little plastic bit at the tip of the bic pen. Then it would get spikey and I'd need to bite the spikey parts off, which never worked. Just got more spikey. And then the spit would get inside the pen. Disgusting. Then once I sucked too hard and got a mouth full of blue ink.

[@sconnection]

@@howzittyoda glad my wall of Words had a purpose. Enjoy writing yours

[@frankG335]

I was very interested in what you had to say! There's no reason why what you shared wouldn't be interesting! Thanks for sharing all that! I can relate, and these inner feelings make a lot of sense! I'm glad your wife gets you and understands you!

[@MrNext50]

I reached the end, too. I just realized that most of the comments I read on videos about autism are well written. You know, punctuation and that kind of thing 🙂 As a technical writer I notice this.

[@PerrySkyePhoenix]

I'm also an empath, and I believe it's rooted in trauma.

[@TheKmonta]

Definitely. This is me too.

[@OperationFoxley19441]

I resonate with this.

[@JasperKoehler-sc2ov]

Me too thank you

[@lexiplex]

One result of hypervigilance, it seems

[@Amanda1234-nqc]

Same, I'm highly sensative, pick up others emotions and sometimes their thought patterns and intentions.

[@booklassygarrahan3929]

The career field I was in when I was in the military was ripe with people in the spectrum. It's what made us good at our jobs. Most of us were never diagnosed, but our kids were.

[@trishferrer8209]

NEVER have I heard anyone describe me as you did in this video. At age 40, I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD, which came as a shock and relief. That was never on my radar. NOW, I am hearing you speak on Autism, and you described me 100% so now I am nervous (but fascinated and interested). At the end you said the light bulb went off, but for me it just came ON. 😳 Thank you so much for your video!

[@stadinm1]

51 years old-I can relate to every single thing you said. Thank you for your work, bringing this to light, when it seems few doctors even know these things.

[@RebeccaSpence-jc8tf]

Wow! At 61, I am so glad/happy to track this journey with you. Super freeing. So very grateful for this lens/understanding.

[@stevendaleschmitt]

I found out Tuesday I'm autistic. I'm 64, trying to reach out to others, and now that I know, I find myself still sitting by the phone. My world has been shattered. I don't know who I am, or was, and this path of discovery is unwelcome.

[@frenzyviz6296]

I was the opposite when diagnosed. I was greatly relieved as it explained everything throughout my life. I’m not unhappy about it at all. Yes, there are problems but now I understand what it is & that makes a huge difference for me. I’m 62, diagnosed at 53.

[@bigcatlife]

​​@@frenzyviz6296 Me too, a lightbulb went on, was age 55 now 60, I try and curb some of my behaviors in order to stay in my current relationship and not run away, wish Dr. Sage would councel people out of California as it is so hard to find someone as good as her in Florida. Also, affordability is an issue, now on fixed income because of autism and chemo related problems.😔

[@brianmeen2158]

“Literally dreading every social thing I plan” Omg yes this is me. I remember from An early age not really getting much out of social interactions - I needed a board game or activity to keep my mind busy around friends. When I hit my 20s I used alcohol and drugs to give me the social boost I needed to go out either friends on the weekend and they worked. I noticed when I hit the age of 30 though that the entire social experience just felt like 98% work and 2% reward. Alcohol didn’t work anymore so I did force myself out a few times only to want to go back home after an hour. Then I’d have friends begging me to stay out later and guilt tripping me into going out the next night .. uggh this is all just frustrating and exhausting to me so I just isolated more and more into my 30s. I have yet to meet someone that truly understands my social boundaries and needs. Tbh the thought of trying to create a new friendship from scratch is beyond daunting . I don’t think it’s even possible at this point I have never been able to enjoy small talk either. It’s mind numbing and soul sucking

[@jmc8577]

Oh my goodness. Your comment makes me think of my son. I think he hates socialising and doesn't realise it. Alcohol is the numbing

[@JodyRivers]

Wow, this video really hit home. As a late diagnosed adult with autism, everything you said is spot on. Just wow!

[@PEARLPediatricTherapyPLLC]

Late diagnosed at 38 yrs old. Also realized my masking for high performance was my overcompensation.. straight As and leader in every circle / sport / job… later became an entrepreneur small business owner so I could excel but have a start/stop flexibility that I REQUIRE for work load.

[@lisam.willadsen]

I'm realising how misperceived I have been throughout my life - I've only just done my ASD assessment at 51 but this video explains me perfectly

[@visionvixxen]

How did you get your diagnosis? I don’t just want this but it’s been borderline. I mean it’s not borderline. It’s been bipolar too. It’s been ADD. I just suspect something like this is part of it because other things aren’t matching up and they aren’t working. I’m gonna be 50 this year. I have a feeling for me, I’ve had a neuropsych assessment done also but I don’t know if you were like high functioning, older woman if you don’t know if you do it under the other test first to find out or you just go straight in and do autism assessment but I feel in the dark about this. I’m starting to feel like all this other stuff like secondary to being on the spectrum and I guess I’m wondering, if I should wait I don’t have my life has been falling apart more than usual the past five years and if I don’t figure this out, I’m really gonna want to end it so I don’t know if you need to pay like 3 to 5000 for like a femalewho does online autism high masking I mean sometimes you can’t just do anyone like it I keep hearing you have to find someone these days you’ve been through No More so any idea

[@lisam.willadsen]

@visionvixxen I got my adhd diagnosis last year and I guess as I unmasked other things popped up that made start looking at Autism as a possibility for me - I also have 3 children with Autism and my dad was diagnosed bipolar and mum was high anxiety with autism traits. Things just added up for me especially looking back at my life and when I was younger.

[@ItCantRainForever2]

​@@lisam.willadsensame here something was off

[@mrscool072007]

@@lisam.willadsendid you go to a psychologist/psychiatrist or self diagnose? I’ve taken tests online and I scored very high. Not sure if an official diagnosis is necessary at this point in my life (I’m 34 but have a 6 year old daughter who might be ADHD)

[@lisam.willadsen]

@mrscool072007 I went to a psychiatrist ... I self diagnosed about 12 months ago but continually questioned it until I melted down at work and thought I'd better get that looked at for real

[@AliceGamble-e5o]

Finding Dr. Sage's work is life changing, especially the personal authenticity. Looking at a lifetime of ADHD but not knowing about high masking autism traits, it's been like half way knowing how to thrive. I am so looking forward to her books.

[@joanellebracht5311]

I'm 56 years old as well ...and everything you described in this video hit the nail on the head; was On Point for me. It ALL makes sense as to my issues, being misunderstood etc.

[@starflower703]

Wow yet again you have nailed what I went through as a child and how it has shaped who I am now! While I have known it for a long time, to hear someone else explain it and have experienced it too is so helpful!

[@ElephantPatronus]

I feel like you’re talking about me. Every single point. It’s blowing my mind. 53 years and this is the first time I feel understood. Thank you. 🙏

[@delmar418]

Thanks, Kim. Recently divorced in a foreign country, alone, got through my first surgery-ever, lost my mother in the USA, last relative and dealing with hardship at 61, has not been a picnic. All of the aforementioned has broken down my internal regulating system, perspective loss and inner-subjective. I believe that my ex was also on the spectrum, but higher functioning-well, with the help of his family. There were traits of NPD, perhaps in both of us or I am simply questioning myself. Either way, I can see how so many misunderstandings can be made between couples and people in general with AUT-Spec. mislabeling, etc. Early childhood behaviors and AUT tendencies were more pronounced in me. I've worked my way down to chewing all the skin off my thumbs and anxious mooring to very repetitive rituals. Being alone has been a double-edged sword, I'm not a very good mirror for myself, cracked by chronic situational anxiety. I'm searching for help, but I am terrified of prescribers, under-educated psychologists, psychiatrists who are too lazy to do more than write out an Rx.

[@heidimj1380]

I keep finding these awesome channels. You understand me and that is just amazing. I never knew all of you were out there, just like me. It's not just an umbrella understanding and suspicion that I've been living for decades undiagnosed. It's all the little things I hear you and other creators on the spectrum that make my jaw hit the floor at knowing I'm not alone anymore! When you talked about walking up to use the restroom, when I do the same I try to keep my eyes closed so as not to minimize the tsunami waves of thoughts that invade my head, stress me out and grow like dirty snowballs. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping other adults like me that until now, just thought I was a misfit. ASD never dawned on me until the last few weeks. Mind blown!

[@akpopfamily907]

Thank you so much for this video. Any time ive worked up the courage to try to talk about the possibility of Autistic diagnosis, they tell me that its just adhd and complex trauma. I've never heard anyone talk about trauma and Autism. You gave me so many words that i couldn't find...thank you

[@AnyaAnnika67]

I'd just be mindful about seeking out an autism diagnosis if you have untreated complex ptsd. I was going through a severe bipolar depressive episode & had ptsd & ended up being misdiagnosed with autism. I'm actually a mental health prof & should've known better. I think the defining feature is if you have difficulties understanding social nuance & subtext as the diagnostic criteria stands. I think models of autism will eventually expand to be much more inclusive (I have ADHD) but we're not quite at that stage yet; it's still very much defined by being socially inept by the biomedical model which I don't necessarily agree with.

[@Heatherfwlr]

I just want to say that after watching this video, I cannot believe that I haven’t been diagnosed with autism much sooner in life. I now understand myself and why I am the way I am in a much better way and I feel a sense of relief in a way that I can work on getting the help I’ve needed my entire life (45 years old)!! I relate to all of these mentioned, but six of them are HUGE factors in my life. I hope and pray that I can find the right therapist and psychiatrist to finally help me with all of these and help me get a better understanding of how to cope with the major ones that drastically affect my life to a point where I’ve shut down to everyone and everything around me, causing life altering hardships. Thank you for your videos and helping so many, including myself, get a better perspective and understanding of why each of us are the way we’ve been our whole lives. And thank you for your dedication to bringing awareness to light for so many that didn’t stand a chance at being made aware due to our lack of knowledge causing the inability to look for the help we truly need. I hope all of that makes sense.

[@laraoneal7284]

You’re describing me to a tea. 100%. So I know I have adhd but am I autistic also❓❓. My executive function is non existent. I took a premature retirement which has increased my awareness of everything about me which has been so revealing and I’m learning even more about me. The only thing I don’t have is Stimming. I research EVERYTHING to see what I don’t know to learn to be more functional. For example I’ve had digestive problems forever. I’ve had very bad esophageal reflux. It got worse where I was vomiting bile at least once or twice a month. I went to my gastroenterologist & he put me on a PPI. I’ve read alot on PPIs and decided I’m going to find a natural alternative. I read and watched here on YT many functional drs about herbs and supplements. I’ve taken digestive enzymes as needed & they worked for some time. I take magnesium citrate every morning also which also helps. Long story short Researching autism I know they always have digestive issues which I also found out that if we are possibly insulin resistant (not diabetic) but all of this involves gut health which is associated also with depression. After reading and listening to many sources I found out about BERBERINE. I started on one per day 300mg & I’ve been on this for only a week and it has been a Godsend. Not only has my reflux stopped but it has lifted my depression and stopped my fatigue which I was experiencing also. It has helped my motility in my intestines also. This supplement is recommended for glucose regulation. I’m hoping after taking this supplement for much longer time down the road my depression will be cured. If I can rid myself of my depression maybe then I will be motivated to work on my executive function. My place is so disorganized. Papers and books everywhere. I can’t keep up with bills or cleaning or anything. So overwhelmed. I couldn’t have anyone come into my apartment whatsoever. It would be so Embarrassing. Ty KIM so much . I’ve learned so much from you & evertime I listen to you you’re describing every detail of what describes me. PLS give me ur thoughts on what I’ve shared here. I need feedback. I’M SO SORRY I WENT ON THIS LONG BUT I THOUGHT U WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET WHAT IVE SHARED. Ty u again .

[@joyful_tanya]

I can relate. I could have written your comment except I have never tried berberine. I will look into it. Thank you.

[@mariaducs5512]

Thank you for sharing this. I am AUDHD, and I also have digestive issues. I had never heard of Berberine, will give it a try for sure!

[@visionsmagazineonlin]

Executive function problems I can relate to. I also live cluttered n disorderly. It's so embarrassing. My back goes out if I pick up or clean to any degree. I get achy too. Next day I end up in a lot of pain if I bend much to clean or much standing flares my bone on bone knees. Fatigue mentally n physically also restricts having the clean neat apt I desire. Work leaves me exhausted. Long 12 hr not shifts. It's impossible. Plus I have a free roam bunny. All that clean up. I get so behind.

[@RS54321]

Gut health is intrinsically tied to brain health/mood/functioning. When I eat too much crappy food, I feel hungover and extremely depressed. I've heard that all dis-ease starts in the gut-I wonder how much healthier we'd all be if we went back to basic, non-processed, nonrefined sugar diets?

[@RS54321]

@@visionsmagazineonlin Aww, bunnies are the best pets! I had a free roam bunny for years-she was a great comfort and source of joy to me.

[@22apage]

Oh Dr. Kim, I am so profoundly thankful to have found you. I've never seen anyone like me before.

[@effemeraldephemeral7267]

Wow. I've only begun to consider ASD for myself and a few of these were so absolutely real to me - particularly the "shy". You just quoted the conversation I was having to myself after repeating the word "discrete" over and over in various parts of my mouth. I had to get it "just right" and it felt so good when I finally placed the "d" exactly on the part of the palate where I wanted it, with the spacing between the syllables just right, the "c" "r" "t" just where they needed to be, etc. Very satisfying. And I've always been that way with names. Couldn't tell a story (I was the family story-teller on long car rides} until I'd spent about 20 minutes on the characters' names, which needed to sound and feel exactly right for them. Drove my younger siblings crazy because they couldn't care less what the characters were called. Several others of these, but you just stole every word out of my mouth today as you described this!!!

[@davecook81]

Every word you just spoke describes me as if you knew every detail about my life.

[@rememberhilde]

I'm gonna try and list the points: First of all, in all aspects: assume camouflaging (5:22) • 6:53 HSP/empath kinda person with possibly a list of mental health issues, but it always feels like *something is still missing* • 8:58 Chronic Social Issues (not quite fitting in, low social battery, etc.) • 10:31 (unrecognized) strong sensory issues • 12:06 (hidden/compensated) executive functioning difficulties • 13:40 stimming behaviours • 14:26 overthink/overfeel/overanalyze all.the.time. • 15:29 meltdowns/shutdowns/burnout due to dysregulation • 16:14 chronic hypervigilance (scanning your surroundings always) • 17:32 routines & repetition as a sense of security • 17:32 managing human physical interactions (intimacy / self-isolating)

[@suecollins357]

I'm late diagnosed AuDHD and have had a close friend for 60 years but she is autistic so she is safe for me and I for her. We can be honest with each other without offense, masks come down. She has saved my life with her understanding and compassion for the many traumas I have been through

[@TRXST.ISSUES]

Thank you for highlighting practical solutions first, I’m self diagnosed and have had an improvement to my own quality of life in subsequent years. The internal experience can only be reported not directly transferred. We rarely question people who self diagnose depression or anxiety, yet when it comes to high functioning autism there’s stigma around self diagnosis. I don’t need validation to know my lived in experience is extreme for me. Dust from a box sending me into a conniption, closing my ears to avoid shopping cart sounds or vacuums, sensitivity to smells no matter how subtle. On and on. I can type for days. This isn’t to denigrate trained professionals, but instead to highlight the validity of people’s experiences, independent of the conformity to the (often flawed) zeitgeist.

[@joethecounselor]

Thanks for this! Fellow therapist who has identified with ADHD for a while . . . working ever more with autistic individuals . . . and seeing more and more of myself in them. Thanks for the empowerment.

[@lesliethurston2151]

Thank you for your continued education on this subject. Having recently assumed a new living situation, and sharing common spaces with folks whose lifestyle is wholly different, my routine has been heavily displaced, causing shockwaves of frustration in my being. For instance, not being able to create meals and lazily eat them in silence. And feeling as if my habits are being inventoried by those same others.

[@Charlee.MosaicLotus]

Thank you so much for talking about this. I am a late autistic with ADHD. My life experience flowed into CPTSD, PMDD to moving through my life changes into my mid fifties. All this complexity and therapy brought me to my testing and diagnosis. I connect so much with what you are describing. ❤

[@dessileemcneill5224]

I relate to all of these. The only thing I'm not hearing from you is difficulty in learning. I'm almost 59 yrs old, I've never had a good paying job. I freeze up when trying to learn new things because it takes a very long time to learn and be able to use new skills. I recently got a job as a bank teller, after they sent me back for a 3rd week of training, on the last day, I quit, I knew I still didn't have it, but probably could've have gotten it eventually. I still need to work, but the things I've done in the past, like home care I don't feel up to all the physical. I'm very insecure about my abilities always have been. In counseling about 2 years ago, she said it sounded like a learning disability. For all the systems you listed in the video that I have, I was just telling my husband that it is very exausting being me. What gets me through is my faith in God, knowing he has a purpose for everything and someday I'll be healed and whole.

[@JesusistheOnlyWay222]

AMEN you will be healed and made whole. Jesus saved our entire being not just our soul. God bless you. I was led to Dr Kim and others for understanding on avoidant attachment styles. Now I'm being led to adjd and autism for my son and quite possibly for myself. Jesus is our strength 💓🙇🏻‍♀️🤗🕊

[@dessileemcneill5224]

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 Amen and thank you for commenting. Blessings to you and your son.

[@karenholmes6565]

I tried to be a bank teller. They hired me. I had to pass a test where I had to quickly and accurately deal with money. I failed twice. Do not feel bad about your abilities to find something you excel at. I went on to college and I had a 3.96 GPA clear through grad school. I am really slow at processing certain things, but I learn things deeply and I make novel connections between data points. You will find something that is your niche.

[@RS54321]

I can totally relate to what you're saying.

[@carolinebedford9836]

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 autism is not something that needs to be healed, it sounds you could do with doing some research as to what autism is, it is neurological, you speak about it as it is some sort of an illness that requires healing.

[@magicmoonmedicine]

I'm 59. I'm still questioning my status lol. But at least there are frank, honest teachers like you who are brave enough to show us we're not crazy or lacking. Just sensitive in degrees. I SO relate to what you're saying!!!...THANK YOU❤

[@frenzyviz6296]

Diagnosed at 53, & have had imposter syndrome. This video removes the imposter syndrome & validates the diagnosis. I am high functioning (aspergers) & high masking. I have all these points you mention and I have OCD-Pure O, which was incredibly worrying until I knew what it was.

[@NW_7_23]

I was diagnosed at the age of 40. I'll be 42 next month. You have explained everything in exactly the way I feel it.

[@AshleyHasADHD]

This video. I subscribed & I am saving this video to show my behavioral health physician. I am disgnosed with inattentive ADHD, but I feel like there's more to it. You've mentioneed every single thing I've struggled with all my life and I feel like this just reassures me that I am not crazy. Thank you so much for this video.

[@kerryshaw1930]

I’m so thankful I have come across your channel, I’m currently undergoing testing at the age of 44, for years I masked & didn’t understand what was going on, I put it down to trauma and severe anxiety and depression. I now feel I’m finally starting to understand who I truly am and finally getting to know the ‘real’ me as I’m absolutely burnt out with putting a ‘front’ on. It’s been exhausting and moving forward I’m slowly but surely becoming my ‘authentic’ self. You explain these topics so well, thank you ❤

[@SusanHanley-bo2pj]

I am a retired Psychologist, Family Therapist and Tertiary Educator in South Australia and have by happenstance found your videos . I am currently in my seventies participating in EMDR Therapy to resolve childhood trauma which has directed me to your videos regarding my parents ,( one with BPD and the other with CPTSD ( veteran)) and the subsequent impact on me and my siblings . I have tried without success to buy your courses . I wonder if your web access has problems in Australia . Your videos personalize and create connection which is no easy task. I appreciate your candor , research , knowledge and your quite amazing presentation skills over the internet which is the mark of an educator . . I also note your development as I have watched your videos and so much appreciate that you are not constrained by theory. I certainly was in the early 1970's and beyond although I fortunately had the opportunity to undertake two Masters Degrees focusing on treatment regimes for children recently diagnosed with ADHD. I no longer endorse any of my research but I regret my age although am still interested in educational options. I note that many of your videos refer to adults which I find fascinating. I appreciate how you explain and understand that it is not just talking to a camera. Your research and explanations expose how education is moving so quickly and curriculum is not keeping pace. Well in Australia at least. I regret that there is no other academic and personable presenter like you here in Australia . Thank you most sincerely, Susan

[@ericasouthey3123]

I'm busy going through the formal process of an autism diagnosis. I went through screen tests and it came back that I have high level of autism and OCD. I had to mask most of my life. Then a tutor and a friend asked me if I have autism. FFWD to the present I am thankful for videos like these and others. It brings me comfort to now know why I went through what I did.

[@kathrynholland9962]

You are such a brave and generous person. I relate such a lot to the things you share. I feel less alone because of this. Thank you .

[@Samhain606]

When i got diagnosed in my early 40s i felt relieved and told everyone close to me thinking it would validate my social avoidance, introvertedness, etc. Everyone was understanding and it was fine, but people cant possibly know how it feels. And so i did too much explaining and felt like i was annoying them. I learned that maybe educating myself and learning new ways to deal with things would have been a good idea before dumping it on everyone i know 😊

[@Agnes_B96]

Thank you for validating my experinences. I am late diagnosed hogh masking autistic woman ❤ you described my whole life

[@EmpathsProvidence2]

😮 I dislike certain blanket or sheet textures on my bed. I do not eat peaches, texture. Hate social events. Hate meetings. Need to be alone. Hate too much light. Can smell everything! Hyper vigilance. Same songs. Leg shaking, etc. So many of all the things! Thank you❤❤❤

[@6Jillybeans]

Oh! The peaches thing! I told my mum I couldn't eat them any more because if you put a pair of googly eyes on them, they reminded me of animals! She bought nectarines from then on. The fuzzy skin was so urgh! Hahaha!

[@67laquaa]

One big thing in my life: I feel like I'm the most misunderstood person on the planet! I have the most organic and nice intentions, but somehow they come across wrong to other people, I am terrible at pursuing friendships, even though I want them (I literally just go invisible ), I have several OCD tendencies, I am extremely sensitive to sound... So much so, that I want to run out of the house and drive off. No one understands me, and I don't understand myself... 😭

[@jantaljaard835]

Why dont you go to a psychologist?

[@67laquaa]

@@jantaljaard835 I’m highly functional and take care of my entire family by myself, and yes, I go to regular behavioral health appointments. Problem is, getting correct diagnoses and a plan for that is not easy. The system is broken…Don’t you know that?

[@LeezaCD]

Ditto 100% what you wrote

[@johanna2969]

Dr. Kim, thank you for explaining all those details with personal experience and how everything connects together.

[@ComplicatedSimplicite]

THIS VIDEO!!!! I can’t tell you how much I can relate to this!!! My mind is blown!!!! Please know you are NOT alone.

[@jessicayoung7132]

That's why I joined the military, for the structure and order it gave me. Same time it was really difficult for me being around a big group, but I masked it yes. Kansas my first station, they had a art building and a photography dark room, where I spend most of my free time to escape from well everyone lol. Loved art, photography. I hid behind my camera too; it was my safe space.

[@NerdyNanaSimulations]

Yes to all of the above. I have never been "diagnosed" because I was over 50 when I put the pieces together. I do have diagnosis of social anxiety, general anxiety disorder and Adhd. I think the best thing that ever happened to me is when I became physically disabled because now I just don't have to be part of society. Over the years I figured out that it took about 2 years at a job to overstay my welcome. By then it would become obvious they were putting me in a position to try to make me quit and I'd find another job and move on. Just not having to deal with that anymore is a blessing, almost makes being broke worth it. But I've been solitary since I was a small child, preferring nature to people, and adults to those my own age. Now I have my pets who don't care if I'm obsessive or over sensitive, I can be me and that's ok. I have a husband who is a trooper, he's always sort of got me and when I get in a funk he just finds something to do and stays out of my way and let's me work through it. When I have melt downs he just listens to me rant and scream and then goes back to what he was doing like nothing happened...lol. It is more healing than you know, or maybe you do. But out of 5 children only one gets me, possibly not surprisingly the only one my husband and I have together (2 steps, 2 prior marriage), the rest I have a fragile relationship with and have to put on that mask to function around them. In all reality the youngest is the only one I really spend time with anymore. Mom was raised by a narcisit mother, Dad was a foster child his whole life and an alcoholic who died when I was almost 7... so yes instability.

[@fractal1133]

Is there an online group? I would love to meet others like me, especially older women

[@troywhelply6742]

Wow! Why couldn't SOMEONE (especially one of the many mental health professionals) have clued me in to this before my 45th year. This was astoundingly descriptive of my experience. Thanks for making this. I'm going to go ahead and check out the next video as well. Thank you

[@aprilgilbert4552]

I was just given my diagnosis on Monday and I’m 52. Thank you so much for your videos. I just want to cry. Everything you said I relate to. I thought I was crazy because all my life, I was/is the problem for everything. I have so much to learn about myself. It’s scary but also a relief. Thank you again.

[@ItCantRainForever2]

Amen I found my niche I think.

[@alexanderlapp5048]

I am the same age as you. I believe I have high masking autism. I am now at the point of trying to figure what to do about it. How have things changed for you since you were given your diagnosis? Side note: I did have an exgf tell me I was autistic. She was a nursing assistant but she did research psychology quite a bit. This was 9 years ago and at the time I was annoyed and insulted. Over the last few years I have been slowly coming to the conclusion that I am autistic. DR Kim has very accurately described a lot of things about my life in this video.

[@hugomirandamusic]

I relate to all 10. It’s incredible you just described my whole existence. I feel so seen. I am self diagnosed and currently in the process of a formal diagnosis. I also watch Friends over and over again! lol I’ve watched the whole series like 40-50 times lol.

[@christinefryoux174]

Dr. Sage, I wish there was a way to communicate with you one on one. You are describing and my experiences in this video. Things from my past are making so much sense. I’ve always chalked it up to depression but it’s so much more.

[@CarrinaNiemand]

This is EXACTLY how i have been feeling.... THANK YOU !! I feel "more normal" after knowing - "it's not JUST me"

[@flyygurl18]

Congratulations on completing your course: it sounds epically packed with lots of value as your content always is 🙏To have those chronically misunderstood experiences leading to punishment is one of the most surreal experiences especially pre-discovery(of Autism)...the intense emotions that follow are always triggered with the next experience and never understanding what are the causes or if indeed; it was deserved somehow ☀

[@janellemiller6234]

I’ve only listened to the very beginning and right off the bat you answer or talk about the question that I have been asking everyone!!!

[@julesinnature]

I plan on bringing these things up with my therapist soon. I’ve suffered with migraines with auras ever since I was the age of 10 years old. I would get them when I would get overstimulated by scents, lights and physical activity. I even have visual disturbances that’s caused by sound. Not one doctor has mentioned that it could be autism. I do see certain behaviors and characteristics within my family members on my mom side. I would just like to make sense of a lot of this.

[@aislingholianartist]

It’s so refreshing to hear ME and all my “ticks” ….. I’ve had HAVE it all, been told it all and taken all the meds at one point or another! Now I self soothe whatever way I feel like!! You have a new subscriber!! ❤

[@PlanningMyStory]

Thank you for this. Theres been times that people have thought i wasn't being nice way back in my past & i didn't understand why. From your last part in this video, it really resonates in the reason why they might have thought that. Thank you ❤

[@alexaugustoalves]

Dr Kim I have to tell you that your video matched 99% what happened to me my whole life.

[@amandamills6181]

As soon as you started the section about executive function, & you were listing the exigencies of a normal life, I got so stressed out, I had to stop the video for a moment to recover. I appreciate your sharing all this & breaking it down for us!

[@doomofthedestiny8065]

When you talked about the overwhelm of Disney and not understanding it at the time, it reminded me of my experiences in high school in which I would get uncomfortable, somewhat depressed, but more just unwilling to even talk to my friends. It wasn't until the last couple years I understood the idea of a "social battery" I love being social- until I don't... and it's not really a thing I can explain to neurotypicals. I was diagnosed ADHD as a kid, but didn't really do much about it cause Ritalin just made it worse. But now, I've been more properly diagnosed as both ADHD and ASD... (and depression, and anxiety). As a little kid I had to hide from the vacuum, as a teen I grew comforted by a thankfully less loud one. Just learning about my brain has explained so many things about myself I never fully understood, even about the adhd I already knew about, nobody told me about executive dysfunction, I had to learn that from my own research...

[@TNTTruth1]

Our oldest sonn has ADHD he has two autistic children. He gave 20 yrs to the Marine Corps. He worked onn the F-35 plane, retired from the Corps and is still working with the same plane as a quality control liaison. Point is, don't let your diagnosis hold you back. Go adter your dreams!

[@robinbirdj743]

My son is a crew chief for the same…

[@MW-greatteacher10]

I am 58 and underwent psychoeducational testing about 12 years ago. The psych D was using pediatric screenings. He was also not familiar with the differences in presentation between males and females on the spectrum. I learned about ASD in children while obtaining an MAT in special education in 2012. I am on that spectrum. As I have learned about the differences in female presentations I have come to understand myself much better. I need to find a support group of older females who understand all this. I fully identify with all of these presentations. My entire life has felt like I have been someone from another planet.

[@Rose_Ou]

Gosh, I've always been the person you're describing, Dr. Kim. I do have CPTSD (abusive childhood) and PTSD (I survived brutal gang rape as a teenager) but I've always felt weird and forced to engage all of my energy to just fit in. At 48 I avoid people as much as physically possible. I have anxiety 24/7, terrible allergies to synthetic scents and many many food allergies. I have social phobia, can't put on masks any more so I avoid people, I hate certain sounds, bright light, I suffer from severe migraines,IBS, perfectionism, and I still live with my narcissistic mother (I tried to run away many a time but she cut my limbs off emotionally decades ago so I always came back) who is the main source of my CPTSD. I hope to have the courage, money and physical health to leave this God forsaken house of horrors and the country that I hate next year when my son graduates high school. I barely function at this point, my profession is basically dying (machines are taking over translating jobs) so I feel like a failure and completely unemployable at my age, but since hope dies last, I still hope I can change my life and start from scratch.

[@Truerealism747]

Do you have fybromyalgia heds

[@AnyaAnnika67]

I'd be mindful about looking for an autism diagnosis in the context of untreated CPTSD. I have bipolar & CPTSD & was in crisis when I was diagnosed & it turns out that I was misdiagnosed as a lot of the symptoms can mimic autism.

[@Truerealism747]

@@AnyaAnnika67 apparently autism causes the others to though

[@courtneyharper9111]

Thank you so much for this video. The part about experiences not matching up with the feedback really got to me.

[@Lynn-nd8po]

Thank you so much for sharing. This is eye opening and is especially important to our healing journey, especially during the second half of life. I can relate to almost all of what you explained. I also need to give myself more grace. I am new to your channel and I am so glad that I found you! Thank you for all you do!

[@ImpeccableWitness0001]

Your work is so helpful to me. 54 managing what I feel is autism. Didn't really have a clue till recently. Elderly mother lives on my property. 82 and realising she is adhd. She has been tricky over the years. I've spent my whole life trying to cope. Did okay for what I had on my plate but I'm exhausted now. Lots of childhood trauma and family rejection to this day. Felt like I parented both of my parents. Your work gives me rest to say I'm doing my best. Time for me. Thank you.

[@icanhasutoobz]

Thank you for this video. I am not diagnosed, neither as autism spectrum nor as ADHD, but I've also never even attempted to discuss either with a doctor (frankly, I've been apprehensive about discussing psychological or cognitive matters with physicians, aside from the chronic insomnia that lead to my original depression diagnosis in my early 20s; they haven't historically inspired a sense of trust and confidence in me WRT to such discussions). I do, however, identify with every point brought up except #9 (I don't depend on routine; looking back, my adult life has frequently not provided much support for depending on routine for self-regulation, so maybe it just hasn't been a realistic option for me). I've wondered for quite a while if I fall on the autism spectrum. And, of course, I've had Imposter Syndrome related apprehensions related to allowing that possibility. But the more I hear from actual diagnosed (or otherwise knowledgeable) folks about the symptoms, the more convinced I become that I am at least some flavor of neurodivergent. Whatever my situation may be in a clinical sense, I have most certainly been heavily masking and otherwise coping my whole life, and I've gotten very, very good at it, so good that others around me (to the extent there still are any; I relate hard to the lost relationships symptom) almost certainly don't notice any struggle, probably wouldn't really understand if I tried to tell them, and would likely be incredulous even if I had a legitimate diagnosis and shared that with them. I also have struggled so, so much with employment, including right now (unemployed for nearly two years; not the first long bout of unemployment for me, either; more like the fourth or something), so I don't have access to medical insurance, and certainly can't afford to seek a diagnosis without it. Anyway, thanks again for the insightful descriptions. I relate strongly to nearly all of them (and at least weakly to the remaining one).

[@roysigurdkarlsbakk3842]

Thanks a lot for this one. You forgot one important thing, though. The failure of seeing that someone is flirting or in love with you. I've burned many a bridge with that and every time, I regret it, but I still tend to fail it. It's getting better, though, but I wish I knew back when I was 15 or 25 or something. Now I'm 50, so…

[@andreaking2358]

This sounds exactly like my experience 💯✨❤️ thank you so much for making this! It’s just so wild how much this all maps up to my life perfectly… my family does not think I could be autistic and think I’m being ignorant or attention seeking for even considering it. They kinda shut me down so I’m not supposed to talk about it I guess.

[@cjpwrs8263]

You just made so much sense to me ! You have hit on so many things of my own life that have been so painful . No wonder i isolate !!! Thank you!

[@GYPS33]

We sound like the SAME people. I just don't know how to fix it. I'm 62, no close friends, dysfunctional relationships, CPTSD, from childhood and onward. RN, Agency only because I can't maintain relationships, even at work. I have to be able to run. 99% sure I'm autistic. Diagnosed ADHD at 36. My entire life has been one long mess.

[@TinaZiff]

Hi Dr. Kim, I am a 55 year old woman who has been masking for 40+ years. I am an early intervention Occupational Therapist who works with young children who have delays and symptoms/diagnosis of ASD. I can totally relate to so much of what you are saying, pretty much everything...i truly believe that I am autistic and i most definitely have sensory processing issues and idiosyncrasies. I have a wonderful psychiatrist and therapist but I do often feel very alone. Thank you for this video :)

[@Serenitynow958]

My nephew is mid-functioning autistic. According to your 10/11 points I have all of them? Unrelated your skin is gorgeous and your beautiful rosy flush blush is stunning. You seem very visually oriented just based on your harmonious background colour matched with every detail of visual perfection. I am very much like this too. My nephew can draw literally anything; however he would try and buy candy from the corner store with foreign coins ( he’s 25). I agree with the hyper-vigilance. Autism ? Unsure on that for myself…but it would explain a LOT😂

[@liseraphina2421]

Dr. Sage, thank you for the wonderful video. I CANNOT BELIEVE you are 56. 36 maybe! You are lovely, inside and out.

[@creativealchemyoflife9143]

I've been thinking a lot about masking with complex trauma, autism, and being psychic and/or an empath. There's a LOT of cross over.

[@AnyaAnnika67]

I'm not sure on this one as empathy requires a high sensitivity towards social nuance albeit this is going to be contingent upon the neural chemistry of the person you're talking to & vice versa. After all there's no clear delineation between being autistic & not being autistic. I think many autistic individuals will be able to empathise with their phenotypic expression but will struggle to emphasise with others.