Autism & trying to understand Social Media

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[@leenaparsons9876]

Social media has caused so many meltdowns for me. I try to stay away from most of it now that I've discovered my autism. I used to feel obligated to be on social media regularly because I was trying to "keep up" with everything that was expected of me in society. Now, I choose not to because it can send me into a meltdown or shutdown faster than anything else and with no benefit to anyone.

[@zoerodriguez5486]

Not using social media won’t make you behind on trends btw. If it’s a really popular popular topic you will hear it IRL. Your friends hopefully will understand and simply show you memes from time to time and it makes good conversation. There’s a lot of information I could do without- Such as celebrity drama or tik tok trends.

[@meredithmorgan6923]

Same. I’m a professional musician and I feel so trapped. I don’t understand it, enjoy it, and I feel like I don’t understand how to analyze the feedback and improve. It’s just discouraging and draining.

[@Camikaze2000]

Congrats you are so brave!!!!! I feel the same with social media

[@shingibanggibboongbbongbanggi]

it’s been over a year since i got diagnosed but i still haven’t really digested it yet. i’m usually very tired of my algorithm being filled with neurodivergent content. which is weird. but it’s bcs i’m still in denial somehow. always being reminded that i’m not like everybody else. but your videos are different for me. i feel comfortable and i relate in a way that doesn’t make me feel weird or dumb. thank you for speaking up about issues in ways that brings up different perspectives instead of the typical stereotypes 🥰🥰

[@ackzk]

There's always a layer of loneliness as I have trouble making friendships and relating to most. Then, there's wanting to create art that's meaningful but also feeling like it's not reaching expectations either in terms of trendiness or following big picture composition rules and such. I am technically skilled but can't force myself to do something if my mind is not willing, especially completing artworks, which sucks big time. A similar thing happens when studying courses I found boring, it felt like pulling teeth.

[@brianas444]

I stopped using social media besides KZbin and my mental health has drastically improved. I really like your content because I tend to look for content that I can listen to while I’m doing things and not have to hold my phone the whole time. I like the relaxing background sounds and it feels like I’m hanging out with a like minded friend and chatting about things that I thought only mattered to me. So thanks.

[@OutfitRepeater]

So I’m not on the spectrum (as far as I know) but I definitely don’t “get it” when it comes to social media. It feels like everyone else has figured out something I haven’t. I enjoy making KZbin videos, but there’s a lot of pressure to always be “engaging” with other peoples’ posts and comments (same with IG) if you want to “grow a community” but it feels SO forced most of the time and quickly gets overwhelming

[@saggguy7]

Your content is such a breath of fresh air! I've been binging as a recently identified autistic person. I actually talked about your channel today in therapy after being asked about what tools I had to help me learn about myself. Your voice, communication style and filming setup are so relaxing and your deep insights and compassionate approach are so needed. I hope you start a patreon sometime soon because I'd love to give you something small in return for the huge help you've been to me!

[@thethoughtspot222]

Definitely thinking about starting a Patreon! But not sure when yet since it’s a whole set of work load I need to integrate. If you ever feel like donating to help out you can always do that through the “heart thanks button” under my videos!

[@saggguy7]

​@@thethoughtspot222 thanks for letting me know :)

[@nicoswanmakes]

I'm watching at 1pm pst. I'm a deeply sensitive to the point that it affects everything in my life. Its quite awful. I never understood why folks were pushing "deep empath" online when in actulaity its not a virtue, its a privilege and you spend a lot of time having to protect yourself. I shut down all my social media a year ago besides fb and KZbin but the last 2weeks I've been off fb completely. And since then the few friends who are my true friends now just contact me via text and its so much better. What I dislike the most wasn't even the facade but the normalization of cruelty toward others. It's everywhere anyways and I don't want to spend my free time looking at people tear each other down or unable to see the humanity in a messed up situation or whatever it might be that day. I did get rid of folks who harbor different isms and phobias to people just existing as they are and those who think (and told me) I'm too negative because I talk about my family's chronically ill and disabled life honestly.

[@christineh86]

It sucks that when a chronically ill person talks honestly about their struggles we are perceived as negative and even toxic! So then I feel like my life experience with disability is worth less than the experience and life story of a person who was lucky to be born able bodied..😢 I’m not constantly burdening people with my suffering, but just mentioning it briefly but honestly (in that neutral honest way many other autistic people also talk) makes people upset. Toxic positivity and ableism is one of the worst things in society and also on social media platforms for sure!

[@paigehutchinson6777]

I’m also autistic/adhd and I’ve noticed in the last few months that Twitter makes me feel really bad lol. Sometimes it’s fun but then there’s just so much doom and gloom and reactionary content so I’ve tried going on Duolingo to practice my French when I have the urge to scroll

[@Eeevvee]

your tear drop earrings, the bow, the ruffles!!!!!

[@erinamanda5658]

I watch your videos during the late afternoon or early evening. I prefer to watch you while I craft, to keep my mind from wandering to negative topics, and to help me build my understanding of my autism.

[@priya-dg2zz]

I recently discovered your channel and I usually find myself watching your videos when I feel most lonely, when I unintentionally isolate myself from everyone in the world. Sometimes people through a screen are about as much social interaction as I can handle for the day. Your voice is soothing and your videos are very enjoyable visually, so it’s a great experience overall and one that I find myself coming back to often :)

[@jannettb7930]

I hate social media in general. I am still on KZbin so I can listen to music and engage in communities like this one, but I am very very careful about how I engage online. I feel like I don't need to know that the people I went to school with are racist, I don't need happy birthdays from people that just felt obligated because fb said it was my bday, and the people that actually care about me know my phone number and text me. It's not designed with actual people in mind, it's designed to collect and sell your information. So instead of being designed with healthy communities and social well being as a goal, it's set up to make you upset, because the companies found that if you're angry or insecure you'll spend more time giving up information. I like communities like this one because there's an actual person or people curating it with a healthy community in mind.

[@lousilasacredsound]

Love this conversation. This really strikes a chord with me, it’s exactly how I feel about social media. Instagram completely overwhelms me, and I experience a huge pressure to follow, respond to, and help to promote everyone who tags me or adds me to their story, but then I would literally be on my phone all day. There’s a whole unspoken etiquette that I know I don’t have the capacity to be a part of, and honestly I just can’t bring myself to care enough to keep posting and interacting. It’s so refreshing to hear your perspective, thank you for sharing. I feel empowered to just accept that maybe it’s not for me and that’s ok. I’ll probably mostly stick to KZbin too.

[@bruce5]

As a Gen-Xer, I shudder to think what my teenage life would have been like if social media existed at the time. I spent much of that time trying to be someone I wasn't because being myself made me subject to scorn, ridicule, and ultimately rejection. As for when I watch your videos, it's mainly after the sun goes down.

[@babyblueblanket]

Oh god, I feel this so much. Having an online persona messed me up, I thought I had to act a role online, to be seen a certain way. Then once ppl get to know me personally, I'm suddenly really shy and not extravagant as my persona portays. I realized that's part of my masking and now I'm barely unmasking and being myself more upfront. Trying to use social media less and if I wanna say something online, I want it to be authentic and truthful.

[@heidijones2976]

I watch your content while I get ready in the mornings as part of a ritual of preparing myself to go out into the world. Your content brings me comfort in knowing that I’m not the only person who feels like this and that if I go out in the world and am not received very well, then that’s okay. Because I’m not the only person who feels like an alien amongst the masses. I also watch your content in the evenings to help me unpack the days’s interactions and learn how to better comfort myself in difficult situations as well as being true to myself at the same time. Your content helps me to remember that we’re all different and that’s okay. And that being kind above all else is the most important thing. - Not just to society, but to yourself as well. Keep kicking ass sis xx

[@SkyeSoleil]

Thank you for talking about social media and artists. I feel like you hit a lot of spots I have but couldn’t find anyone else talking about. I’m an artist and have a very hard time engaging on Instagram, specifically, because I feel fake but I feel like everyone else is too. And it’s really odd (?) when people you know don’t follow you and/or engage with you because your numbers aren’t the same. I’ve had it happen to me and I’ve known other people it’s happened to where friends just ignore you because you’re not “popular” enough. It adds another layer of difficulty on top of just trying to interact authentically and grow that I end up not understanding. And then there’s the problem of thinking mutuals might want to be friends but what they’re actually looking for are networking opportunities… 🥴

[@sunsinger7806]

I have slowly fazed social media (other then KZbin) out of my life, and it's amazing how fine that's been. I was so torn about deleting Instagram, but it's been months now and my brain is calmer for it. So much of what you said in this video resonated in ways I hadn't been able to put into words! I no longer care about people knowing how my life is going. I'm just living it.

[@zach446]

social media can be very draining and is one thing i really dislike about the internet

[@brainysmarticus]

I just discovered your channel through KZbin suggestions. I'm also a millenial late diagnosed autistic person. I'm about to start content creation, as a language learner (I'm french learning japanese). So far, I've only been a content consummer, purely consummer. I've followed people for decades without interacting with them, I'm very intentionnal on who I follow or not. Because of this new project I'm trying to get out of my confort zone and post more comments. (I've posted 3 last month) Trying to go on the other side is intimidating. But because I have not grown up with social media and because i haven't tried to make content so far, I like to believe that my relationship with social media is going to be somewhat healthy. My niche is small, so small, I have very low expectations. I'm not trying to a beauty influencer for example. And because I have a clear vision of what I want/need/will/won't/can('t) I find it helps a lot. Discovering your channel was a good thing. I've subscribed :)

[@MartianGirl347]

I don’t know how you do it… I was literally just talking about this with my partner not too long ago because I rediscovered my Xanga (am I aging myself..?). When I found my old Xanga, I realized that I did not use social media like everyone else. I used it with the intention to connect with people, especially since I struggled with that irl. I would post things that were represented who I was, what I enjoyed, how I saw the world, and it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized that’s not how most people use it. I never posted things that I wanted others to see, I posted things that made me ME, and other people could see it if they wanted. A couple things come to mine when I think about this: 1) those MySpace “train” things that the scene kids would post as a bulletin. They would add themselves to this GIANT list of other scene kids, and for some reason, it was a huge deal to be part of certain groups. Idk, it was weird. I didn’t understand it. Now I know it was just another way to be “popular.” 2) being part of a live chat weirds me tf out. I’ve felt this way for a while. Say you and 100 other people are watching someone do a livestream. It is mostly just people trying to be noticed by their senpai. I would attempt to start conversations with, who I thought were, like-minded people, but nobody was talking to each other. They were just typing into the abyss and hoping the person live-streaming would notice. I get the appeal, but that’s putting so many limits on yourself, morphing them into who they think this “””famous””” person would approve of. It’s dystopian. I deleted my Facebook in 2015 or so. I don’t have a Twitter, Instagram, tik tok, etc. I’ve only recently started commenting on KZbin, but I have to take long breaks because I despise being noticed. Too many interactions exhaust me… I don’t think I’m better than anyone for being this way (I say in fear that I will be accused of this because cptsd). In fact, it makes me feel very alone. I just think when someone’s only concern is to be noticed because of status, or what have you, it will inevitably lead to inauthenticity. Being inauthentic dims one’s aura, and that’s not good for your soul. Long-winded, and I lost my train of thought… Thanks for being an authentic human in a sea of simulacra! 💛

[@jackswunderland]

needed that! i am currently starting share more on social media and it‘s so weird like: why post people stories? what should i share? is this to private for social media? where are the rules for this thing? i am very confused.

[@superkonijn988]

When growing up with social media the hardest part for me was the constant demand for interaction on social media platforms. Interacting with others is very demanding on my energy level so when i come home i usually need to recharge so receiving messages from the people i am friends with who wanted to chat through social media was really difficult for me to handle as on one hand i didn't want to make them feel like i didn't have any interest in them but on the other hand i didn't want to exhaust myself further. Eventually i was able to put my foot down and explain to them that i respond to their messages whenever i have the energy and time to do so and that its not me having no interest or avoiding them. This caused some friendships to break but overall i do think its better this way for myself to not continuously socially exhaust myself.

[@tjdanehy5444]

I'm "closet autistic" still (not a lot of people who understand the nuances in my town.) So I mostly listen to your videos in the car, as I drive for aliving. And, I have to say, they've gone a long way in making me feel less like an outsider since I don't have the opportunity to share it in my day-to-day life.

[@jaymartyabo9635]

I watch your videos because it helps me understand my partner who is diagnosed with autism and ADHD from a young age. It also helps me understand my own neurodivergence and subjective view of the world. I usually listen to your videos when I’m commuting on the subway. I really appreciate how effective you are at communicating your experience.

[@beautifulcrescendo]

Just a new follower that has gained so much from your content. I have been interested in the human brain my whole life and didn’t consider that I was neurodivergent and struggling until after getting a psych degree. I always come to your videos whenever I want something more engaging to watch. Your videos really make me think about how other people like me are out there and we are just scratching the surface of as a society (species honestly). I love being able to come to your thought processes are very familiar to me and I don’t hear that talked about much in the world and especially not in formats I can consume. I’m an ADHD, possible undiagnosed autistic AFAB, and I really can’t pay attention to something well if it doesn’t catch my interest in it as well as visual and auditory information aligning and engaging my brain

[@blackdressy2872]

Yes… I 100% get it, and I can’t understand yet… I feel frustrated 😢 because I’m trying to grow my makeup social media, I’m posting frequently and all… but I just feel so weird and embarrassed that I don’t have likes and stuff like that… I would be mortified if someone who I know in person found my page 😫 How do you human? I’m so scared that people will be mean… I made a story asking if they would try green makeup look… and the only answer was “No” 😂💀 I laughed but then I got embarrassed… and deleted the story. When I was younger and had my personal Instagram… I was posting my real self, but people didn’t like and judge me a lot, and I got in a lot of trouble😔 Now I use it to share memes with my friends… and don’t upload at all, anything. I’m sorry I’m dumping all this here, but I felt so alienated and I’m scared to feel the same if I show my true self and personality… Anyways, great content, you are helpful. This videos always makes me think and look inside myself and check on me. (I’m sorry if I didn’t make sense English it’s not my mother language)

[@ariannaandela1026]

I don’t have a diagnosis myself but I can relate to a lot of things you discuss. I come to your videos if I feel overwhelmed by school and social life to just have someone that is talking about what I’m feeling and so that I don’t feel like I’m the only one. And when I feel like i don’t get myself it’s nice to hear you put words to what I’m feeling regarding interactions with people.

[@ariannaandela1026]

I feel like it’s also, with Instagram, a means to observe people’s behavior and copy that. I’m always looking at influencers that I find really cool and look at all their pictures of their style and their friends and what they say and stuff.

[@SelinaShaw]

I'm Gen X and learned about being on the spectrum only recently. I went from trying all the new and latest social media platforms to pretty much just KZbin and Instagram. I learn a lot from people like you on KZbin, and I also enjoy ASMR and K-pop content. I mostly follow K-pop content and cat-centric videos on Instagram, and I am so much happier with that. I have made a couple casual friends on Instagram - the occasional friendly comment on each other's posts, and that's it - which is perfect. I completely relate to the questions about "do I really want to share this?" and "do people really care?" and "do I want them to care?" and the answer being "no" and me being really comfortable with that. Facebook is a drama nursery, so I avoid that almost completely now. Editing to add: I telework, so I tend to check in late morning, early afternoon, or whenever I have time that I need to think through something. Learning about myself - how and why I think the way I do and how to manage it as I manage my work day and social life [such as it is!] are really useful things I have gleaned so far from your channel, and I am truly appreciative!

[@dahliadialup]

Oh my god. I’m so glad you posted this. I’m actually in the middle of what I call a “perception anxiety attack” which typically consists of deep existentialism about my pretty surface level beauty channel (makeup is my special interest) my red flags are wanting to delete my channel, delete my videos, comb through simple mistakes that nobody would notice and start over…like clockwork every 6-8 months I feel this intense anxiety rise up about whoever has already seen or watched my content. I think for me, perceiving myself has always been confusing and weird. How OTHERS perceive me was often a great source of misunderstanding pain and fear. Basically early in childhood I learned that my way of presenting myself confused people for some reason. Social media was my way to really control what others thought of me. Beauty has been my big special interest since I was 7-8 years old and it’s tough because of all the other….stuff attached to makeup. Going back to KZbin, it makes me really sad what happened with the KZbin community with all the beauty “drama” even people who aren’t KZbinrs in my life know about it. It really upset me back then, but I was guilty of watching a lot of “tea” channels. I wish I could go back and reverse that because their narratives have stuck in my head as if they’re a second part of me. I’m terrified of making mistakes already, let alone in what feels like a very controversial community. I never want to hurt anyone, even accidentally. What brands do I support? What if I change my mind? It feels like so much responsibility. It sucks that there was so much controversy (oftentimes it very warranted though, especially any racism, homophobia, transphobia. Those deserve people deserve to be held accountable). But sadly it also brought on extra nitpicking because everyone realized it brought in views or I guess was fun. Hell, there is an entire Reddit group dedicated to gossiping about even the smallest of beauty KZbinr. I’m terrified I’ll end up on there, especially because I have always deleted any video that brings up the fact that I am autistic. Once a live viewer told me they saw my name mentioned under small beauty KZbinrs and I wanted to burst into tears. Short version, I make things into way bigger of a deal than they are because I realize….I’m confused. A lot of this makes little sense to me. What brings me back down is kinda what you said, realizing that for the most part nobody cares and everyone is a content creator. My channel is another in the sea of millions. And my therapist helps me recognize that perceptions from other people is not really my business. I hope now that I am watching videos like this that I can better understand who I am, and maybe not be so scared of others finding out and using it against me. Your videos make me feel like I have a friend who gets it. I realized I’m autistic late in life as well (23) and grew up very close to social media. It makes it all very meta (no pun intended)

[@juangarcia6473]

"Who cares?" is the mindset I've adopted in regards to social media the last couple of years too. Genuinely what do I care what these acquaintances are up to or what they think of what I'm doing. The experiences I do want to share I just share directly with the people I care about. I haven't posted anything in over a year. The most I do is post clips of concerts I really liked. I use Instagram mainly to follow my favorite artists and that's it. I don't see the point in sharing my opinion with people who's opinions mean nothing to me(anymore). If I'm confident and secure in what I believe in, I gain nothing from sharing it with a void of people I don't know on a personal level. I delete 90% of my comments halfway through writing them because genuinely I gain nothing from it. I'd *much* rather just journal about it. I'm hesitant to even post this one for that reason, but only am because it's relevant to the topic and because you asked us to. Otherwise I'd just digest the topic, see how I feel about it, and move on.

[@marieofstad6984]

I think my relationship with social media isn't the worst, but also not good. I don't go on Instagram too often. TikTok however, that is where my issue lies. I find a lot of the videos there are funny, informative, and fun to share with my closest people, so it is hard to delete the app. I may go on to it once or twice during the day, usually that is not an issue, because I do it to relax for a moment. However, what is an actual issue, is that I start scrolling on there right before I go to sleep, and I believe the constant staring at a screen right before sleep not only reduces the amount of hours of sleep I get, but also sleep quality. I do also notice, during some periods where I am scrolling a lot more during the day, that I end up more and more depressed. So I try my best not to do it. I think I usually watch your videos in the early morning, like today, or in the evening when I am done with everything I needed to do for the day. Also, I just have to say, the color and the shape/cut of your top fits you so well! I couldn't stop noticing throughout the video, haha^^

[@Jproartz]

I watch your videos usually during work or when im working on my art its a good feeling all around i think i feel understood and connected maybe even grounded. Maybe this is just a generalization but i dont connect well with some autistic people i think they’re boring but i vibe well with a lot of what you say. There was one video that sold your vids for me it was the one talking about humor and you referenced a joke your friend made saying wait thats mental illness i was laughing hours and days later just thinking about it. I hope that doesn’t pressure you to need to be funny all the time too cuz thats not why i keep watching.

[@tracik1277]

I was a teenager in the 80’s. If there had been social media then I don’t think I would have even survived. There is no way I could have dealt with the kind of thing that goes on and the things you describe. I started having problems when things went from analogue to digital! I still can’t get with social media now, I’ve tried but it still seems an odd thing to do, I agree with you that I have enough to deal with as it is. The only thing I do like that is KZbin comments. And I don’t have internet enabled on my phone.

[@user-ds3tk1dc9p]

I'm happy I found this video. I get overwhelmed and so anxious whenever I use social media and it seems like no one around me understands. I'm so ready to let it all go.

[@ToxicMayhem]

Thank you for this Video, I'm relatively recently in terms of flowing and watching your content. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I've recently been trying to see if I've also been autistic this whole time as well, so your videos have been incredibly helpful and relatable. And also yeah, my social media experience has been, healthy to unhealthy with a bit of a turbulent balance ratio thing going on. And I honestly have yet to really figure out the sort of balance that works best for within a social media space cause the shifts and social perceptions has also been a lot and I'm still trying to figure out what I want that to be while figuring out what actually works for me. It's been difficult yet I'm kinda tackling things as I get there. And your video really resonates with me in a role modeling kinda way, so it helps out a lot and puts some of my needs and concerns into words. Also as of late, I've been watching and listening to informative content at the start of my day to help with getting me in a working mindset and I've noticed that, cause I used to listen to my music instead and now it's been different and yeah.

[@peaceofjunkjournals]

I watch your videos to feel less alone. I am looking for something I can relate to and somehow understand myself better or just make sense of why I do things. I like to think deeply and I love your honesty. I also really love the way you verbalize things and your voice in general. I usually watch your videos mid day (like 12 noon to 3 pm).

[@fabycutedark]

I usually watch your channel in the afternoon when i finish school just to relax and feel peace after all of the overwhelming things that happens through the day and to feel better about myself because i resonate alot with you and your autistic experience so thanks alot for your calming videos ♡ ♡ ♡

[@sakurakahoko]

Hi, I watched your videos anytime I feel like my 'cup is full' and I'm ready to learn about myself. I got diagnosed for over two months now.. but it wasn't until recently I have fully accepted it - I was scared idk why. But you have a very calming vibe so I watch one of your video, journal afterwards, proceed with exercises before watching another. Baby steps O_O;;

[@LaceyMyriah]

What a beautifully mindful approach 🌸 this inspired me to pull my journal out and write about what I’m finding about myself as I study more about autism. I haven’t decided on whether to try for a formal diagnosis yet. I’m happy you’ve accepted your diagnosis - I’m wishing you many happy moments of self- discovery and self-love!

[@TheSabataish]

For when i watch your videos, i don't really have a specific time of the day i watch yours, but i do come to them with the intent of possibly learning more about myself, and finding how my autisim affects me

[@fhannah570]

I feel this! ❤

[@amyblaine7624]

I haven’t been able to articulate my feelings about social media at all (I don’t post on any socials I only really post on Reddit where I’m anonymous) and you completely nailed my feelings. The facade of it all just doesn’t seem like something I can participate in and I would rather people judge me based on who I am in person rather than a false persona I craft online to impress people I don’t even like.

[@EmpressEris]

My first experience with proper social media was with MySpace. I figured it would be a way for people in my life to know I wasn’t some freak like they treated me, but obviously we know now how futile that assumption was lol. Beyond KZbin I pretty much stayed clear of social media. I had a FB account that I barely used and that was about it. I’ve only really recently really started to use social media with Twitter (mostly due to the situation in UKR). So I never interact with anyone I know IRL. I basically use my platform to see breaking news events and to irritate bad people.

[@Kakibot]

Social Media feel like such a double edged sword to me. It's such a great tool to prepare myself for real life socialising with people I'm about to meet, takes the social anxiety down a notch a bit. Like a digital continuation of what I used to do as a kid, which was basically observing someone for a month before reaching out and seeing if they'd like to be friends with me. That said, the other side of the coin is, for me personally, the pure overwhelm! Sometimes it's being overwhelmed by the amount of media to be consumed (it almost comes with this sense of duty - like, these are friends I like therefore I should pay attention to what they are doing and saying?) but more often a sense of "oh is this what the society wants now? But... I don't have time for that!". What helps a bit is telling myself that KZbin is my platform of choice, and it being relatively slow compared to others is comforting.

[@peregrineelea2686]

sooo relatable!! especially the part about not understanding why some peoples’ posts work and mine don’t 😅 and gosh, i guess i barely escaped the age of friendships being massively impacted by what did & didn’t happen on sosh meds. i mean we had facebook since highschool, but exposure & worldwide popularity weren’t really in the picture. I feel compassion for all of the younger generations who have to deal with that. Relating is hard enough as it is 🥹 anyways, i hope this is welcome, but your hair is extra cute in this video 🤗

[@MarcelGomesPan]

SUCH a great video! 👍 Thank you!

[@lynnbilbrey8823]

My intention coming to your videos is to relate to someone deeply. The most validating videos I’ve seen about high masking late diagnosed autistic women is their lived experience. When I first began learning about it the videos on TikTok (I know we’ve all seen them so over saturated) are they “signs you may be autistic” and then I started doing deep dives on KZbin and TikTok where I found people that explain my experience so well and validates it. If you journal to develop your new thoughts or reflecting on past experiences I think we would all love to hear it. Vulnerability I think is so powerful to those with an open mind searching for answers. You always make me feel not alone and I love your authenticity ❤ I like how I think now you seem way more sure of yourself and you give yourself grace. The video you talked about the girls you worked at Starbucks with not understanding why they were ostracizing you is sooo relatable. I would leave those interactions spiraling in shame. Now that I have an answer to my confusing life, the stories are what help rebuild my value in this world. I think we live with a 6th sense that is so enjoyable and filled with fascination at every corner. I always thought I needed to “fix what was wrong with me” because in seemingly mundane moments, I could tell that others (neurotypicals) had a missing spark in their eye. I would almost immediately tell that this person lives in a much simpler world than me. I would be jealous by the peace and security they carried. Almost like they could see the world in the way it’s designed for us to live and it all made perfect sense to them. I’m undiagnosed but have listen to unmasking autism and watched probably 50 hours of content on it and it’s crazy that I found the thing to make my life make sense.

[@rachel1021]

This resonates with me so much 💚

[@charlesevergarden8248]

i watch your videos early evening and i have autism and was hyperfixated about figuring out and learning about autism and my autism so i’d write down things i’d learn in a binder about it

[@courtniepolk3462]

Your content make mes feel heard and seen. You pretty much divulge the autistic and ADHD experience with so much compassion and accuracy. I am new to your channel and I look forward to engaging in conversation about the part of myself that has been very mysterious to me up until this point of my life. I am neurodivergent, lgbtqia+, black, and a pround nonbinary demi girl! Thx!

[@lyvphoenix]

I found you recently because I've been a content creator on and off but I really struggle with selective mutism when the camera comes out. Also late--diagnosed AuDHD. I found your video on selective mutism and I really enjoyed it. I watch your videos at the start of my day. I like to learn and be intentional with my morning content or I end up scrolling all day. Usually puts me in a productive and focused mood, but relaxed.

[@dubheasadalosair8928]

I feel everything you've explained that you feel with social media. All the same struggles. Not knowing how to make it work for me at all. I honestly just never really bother with getting on them anymore. Just fill up my time with my routines & special interests.

[@midsommaryna]

Thank you soo much for this video! 💛 this is exactly the topic I've been mulling over for week now. It's so nice to see another neurodivergent perspective and get some validation for how confusing it is! Also, regarding your question: I am having a small morning routine when I turn on your videos after I cooked my breakfast around 10-12 am (sometimes it gradually transforms into lunch 🙃). And then while I watch I usually pause when I start thinking about something you mention, sometimes I bring my journal with me and write out what's on my mind. I like this little routine because it keeps me grounded. Your voice and overall vibes are very calming, I find your thought process very similar to mine. The way describe your state is like a starting point for me to question and reflect on the similarities and differences. All of which is helping to accept the notion of being autistic (it's been couple of years of my self-diagnosis and unmasking journey). All in all usually I'm content and calm with the reflection/new info I gathered and then I let the thoughts sink at the back of my mind while I keep myself busy with life. Hope this helps! And thank you again for all your videos 🌞

[@TheTDK80]

I like to watch this type of content because it helps me to understand how I do my things compared to other people on the spectrum

[@Catlily5]

I watch your videos anytime but more often at night. I watch your videos to learn. I am genX so no social media until I was an adult. I tried Facebook but didn't like it. I can't put my finger on why it bothers me. I look at it less than once a month. KZbin is the 2nd social media site I have been on. I love learning and like the comment sections so KZbin has proven very addictive to me. I don't even read books much anymore which I used to spend a lot of time doing. I haven't tried any other types of social media unless Pinterest counts. I did Pinterest for 6 months several years ago.

[@DreamyLunarRam]

Well said!👏🙌

[@brandonbizzell4092]

Hi. I just did a meditative body practice and decided to listen to this video at the same time. I find it a good way to alternate. between entertaining my brain with helpful guidelines and experiencing my body through the practice that I am doing. I also listen to you when there is an aspect of my life that is challenging socially. Instead of spinning in my head trying to figure it out by myself I listen to you remembering what is really helpful and realistic in the social challenge I am having.

[@serenediipity]

i was late realizing that me prefering online communication was a trait of my own autism. sure, its not always ideal to understand someone's tone through written words, but the way i present in-person doesnt always help to keep people around for more than a few years (my irl friends almost never talked to me outside of school). its definitely a difficult balance with the harm that social media causes all of us

[@alternativetentacles1760]

I live in peace not having personal social media. I have a few “just for fun” editing accounts on Instagram and Tiktok that get viral views though. I enjoy it for a few weeks until I burn out and need to take a long break. The comments section is exhausting. So I need to decompress for a while to feel like editing again. I feel that I have so many passions and interests it’s become routine to cycle in and out of “special interests” that I rarely take the time to think how others are doing. I do think I have an advantage over other creators that stay hyper focused year round. I don’t think it’s possible to stay mentally healthy on social media if you never take breaks.

[@r.w.bottorff7735]

I tried to maintain a Facebook page for awhile, but something about it's design only leads me to become even more lonely. I am now absolutely free from social media (except YT, lol) and i feel more secure in my self awareness and sense of self in general.

[@ptlovelight2971]

OH MY GOD THE TIMING😂....im a milennial too, so I never could get behind puttimg my entire life online. It felt too foreign. Anyway, im somehow embroiled in an online IG drama and have apparently caused the collapse of an influencers marriage😅....i wish i made this up. Because im autistic and not on social media much, so i may have done a internet "social faux pas" by commenting on a post from the influencer. Well theor spouse saw it. and accused us of cheating. I don't even know this person!! Much less have an affair 😅 But I feel like i broke some unknown rule around commenting on someone's post online

[@ptlovelight2971]

@Doug. Right?! They have divorce papers and everything! And I literally have barely had one text conversation with the influencer. They seem to have a really toxic relationship but i still feel like I did something wrong...

[@RootwitchQueen]

I have been fostering and formulating my relationship with social media since I began my social media presence since Vampire Freaks lmao It has been a long and very confusing journey but I'm finally in this personal place where I can say: "I'm proud of myself and I'm happy with who I am" and that mentality has shown through my social media in numbers of ways. People sometimes tell me that I am "too happy" or that I'm "fake" because all I post about is my linguistical achievements, photos of flowers and sunsets/sunrises, how much I love my friends and family and how happy I am that they love me too but the thing is...that's my life lol Those things are but a fraction of what makes me happy and I want to share what makes me happy with other so that maybe, that can make them happy, too. I'm not PRETENDING to be happy. I AM happy and when I'm not happy then I say that lol I don't make any attempt to hide my mental health struggles or struggles with my day to day that I have sometimes due to my ADHD and autism. I'm the same online as I am offline and I have ALWAYS been that way because my parents taught me that being myself was always more important than being liked. That there was someone out there for everyone and if people didn't like me for me, then they we not FOR me. So what people see online is what they get in person. I don't believe in what we call in my family "two-faced tom foolin'". It was never taught to me growing up to hide my feelings or hide my thoughts and yes, that has had drawbacks but it did wonders for helping me to develop an honest and healthy relationship with others both online and offline. When I don't like something, I say I don't like it and when I love something, I won't shut up about it lmao That's just how I operate and my closest friends have always said that they appreciate that with me. I also went to art school but I guess I lucked out meeting people who were like me and were the same online as they were offline lol People who were not afraid to engage with me through a screen and in person. People that wanted me because they loved and appreciated me and I, them. But anyways, this is already a novel lmao I could go on about my philisophical take on social media and why it is both bessing and curse xaxaxa

[@EloTheCurious]

This is the second video of yours I’ve watched, first video of my morning while I’m getting ready for work. I also was diagnosed in adulthood with adhd and a few years later autism. When I watch your videos I feel a need to be open to self acceptance and reflection. I enjoy how you explain your perspective on ideas, choices, etc. I feel like one of the neurotypical masks I had to survive with was the critical judgement of self and others, so I feel it important that I’m not in a place where I find myself in that old mask to be capable of being open to accepting new perspectives and therefore watch your videos. I have a few other creators that fit into this same camp, when I sometimes realize I’m in a judgement state and can’t get out with simple awareness so I don’t watch their videos. I’d be curious to see if it would be a good experiment to watch those videos that I feel pushed away from after I’ve found the awareness for the resistance. Very curious! ✨ Thank you for explain this topic today. I’ve been off social medias besides KZbin really for two years or more and I’m in my mid twenties so it’s challenging to know I’m not connecting with my of my friends who spend a lot of time on there. Have a great day, and thank you for reading my comment anyone who does! ✨☺️

[@madisonfloww]

YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS

[@weism0333]

I really like watching your videos at work. My job is very monotonous and so watching your insightful content makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my time while I get my tasks done at work!

[@mewmew6158]

I'm always trying to understand in general. I hate not getting why something happened or how it works. What's that about?

[@kr3642]

Do you have trouble shopping for clothes and creating outfits in the morning? I definitely do struggle with it these days. I used to be very into vintage clothes but life bullied me out of it, and now trying to dress like everyone else is somehow so incredibly difficult.

[@thethoughtspot222]

Dress how you want! Vintage clothes/ style is so unique and I always love seeing people with unique styles out and about. Also yes. I usually change multiple times before landing on something I’m comfy with *physically & creatively*

[@melissabennett6571]

I know this isn’t the point of this video, but your aesthetic is so cute today. Hair, makeup, background, outfit, jewelry. Everything is so fresh, understated and cute.

[@howdyboy444]

i watch your videos at any time im feeling like i need validation in how im feeling/wow, im really not alone, i dont have to suffer this much, there are people who understand and can help me. as an undiagnosed high-masking autist working as a new RN in a very neurotypical field (nursing/healthcare), it is very isolating and feels like no one understands me or what im going through. i cant help but feel like everyone has it down or just knows how to interact, but it is so difficult for me. ive been feeling so burnt out and lost, but everything you describe is exactly how i feel. thank you, you honestly got me to go to therapy and start working on myself. this video really solidified how i feel about social media and i do really need a break

[@Genuinewormworks]

I love to watch/listen to your videos while I’m at work to pass the time and gain more insight about myself & experiences away from anyone that actually knows me at home etc, it gives me more time to process and really pay attention to your words. I work at a plant nursery so it’s nice to just listen while I water or maintain the plants!

[@mariabelana]

I have given lot of thought to this subject during years. I definitely believe now that we should use social media to create awareness, to show there are other ways to live, to love, to think. Many people feel relief when they see they're not alone, other get inspired to do what they weren't sure was ok, because the main stream media don't show it they way. We can be inspiration for many people out there ❤

[@keirapendragon5486]

My use of social media didn't start really till I graduated from high school. Then it was mostly an endless exercise in "learning how to argue with people effectively about hot button topics" as an angry young adult who'd just experienced Multiple Dramatic world shattering disillusionments back to back to back to back. Upside is - I did learn how to be better at arguing online, And I calmed the Fuck down. I can now use my powers of dialectics to get anyone to hear me out - as long as it's via text. Cause irl my brain shuts off and every reasonable argument I have flies straight out the window and I can no longer articulate.... and now I have to wonder if that is at least in part - because of, or related to, involuntarily selective non-speakingness 🤔 These days I primarily avoid all forms of social media unless they serve some knowledge or experience that I am seeking. Meaning pretty exclusively youtube and either educational or animal videos - need the latter to survive the stress of life + learning things that in the short term are gonna take some pain to process 🤣 Also for your question at the end - I come to watch your stuff primarily because so far there's always been some genuinely useful or helpful information in your videos that ultimately helps me improve some aspect of my life, or at the very least, learning some better way to understand how my brain is working. I'm self-identified as Autistic. No idea if I'll ever get a dx just because of the cost and other barriers combined with the fact that I don't need a dx to learn to apply the advice, suggestions and other information to making my life more comfortable, easier, and more sustainable.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

I deleted all my social media accounts, except for whatsapp and youtube on my laptop, and since then i merge with peace. Our brains, value systems and needs aren't made for this parallel world and sensory overload. It makes us compare ourselves with neurotypicals. Distancing myself from it helps me with unmasking and just being.

[@darkdevaofdestruction4012]

Irene, thank you for another amazing video T_T!! I usually watch you in the evenings while drawing or just stimming. I find your videos very comforting and feel extremely understood by them!! You were one of the first people i found on my journey of discovering autism and you helped A LOT. I often rewatch your video about INFJ and autistic people similarities, it is very special for me T_T Thank you for all what you're doing

[@sippingsun]

Irene! Thank you for this video. I always feel so much better about not being on social media when I hear that the people who can relate to my experience just simply don’t-and they don’t feel the need to apologize! Fuck yeah 🙌🏼 Because I love to write, I have a Substack. Because I love self-development combined with almost every other activity, I listen to Podcasts. Because I love to connect, I use email. Because I love video/KZbin (and intentionally curating my content consumption) and hate ads, I pay for Premium. I don’t like Instagram or anything else, and so I don’t give any fucks. From a business perspective, I think putting heart-centered, high quality work out into the world will bring the RIGHT opportunities & experiences back your way. Setting BOUNDARIES whether personal or “professional” is crucial. Then you can focus on ENJOYING the work that you create, the services you offer, and the connections you foster. Sending so much LOVE ♥️ -Meryn P.S. I listen to/watch your videos during the early afternoon or early evening!

[@badbutbashful]

AHHHH you articulated your experience so well. I relate to a lot of what you said. I grew up with an adhd diagnosis and was also diagnosed with autism last year. I've been curious about other ND people and how they use social media. It's baffled me for a long time, and I frequently ask myself what I'm doing on any given platform. I went to school for advertising and believe that is when I fully grasped how much of a chokehold social media has in modern society and I developed a persona with work in mind. And then I got hacked, and then I resurfaced a few years later with a new name and gender and a lot of the same questions. What is the purpose of me going online? When and why did they post that? Is anyone actually enjoying themselves? How do you stay present and also online? If I follow anymore tattoo artists, will I ever see my friends' posts ever again? If I look at too many of this person's posts who I just met, will I develop conclusions based on false assumptions, lose interest and forget about them before we can have another interaction? Or develop a parasocial relationship with their online persona, excited to meet up, and then crushed when they're nothing like I imagined? As I get older, and understand myself and my place in the world, I continue to interrogate my place in cyberspace as a person of color who is also trans and queer. Representation has helped me accept who I am, and so I feel obligated to be seen online so everyone knows we out here getting older. But that's a lot of pressure, so after a week of posting and back and forth follows and such, setting up in person hangs and meetings, I will inevitably fall off the face of the internet. I used to think this was a defect i.e. me being distracted or having social media anxiety/scopophobia/fear of being perceived, and feel guilty and ashamed. However, I'm learning and accepting that life offline is a lot more interesting to me, and that's a good thing. There's something wrong with the people who say "I thought you were dead" though cos most of them wouldn't care enough to attend my funeral if I was. Which doesn't matter because I'm busy living my life. Subscribed 😊

[@sewchibidesignskat258]

This describes me to a "T". I have had all of these same reactions and have basically avoided social media (in particular FB, IG, and TicTok) for the various reasons you mentioned. It feels pretty validating that someone else sees it the same way that I do. As an autistic mom of autistic kids whose special interest is creating outfits and cosplay for them, the social media aspect is debilitating for me. I frequently have tons of content all edited and ready to go, but struggle to figure out how to share it with the world... I tend to ctl.c + ctl.v what I see others do and not have the same experiences as others and it doesn't feel genuine (the interactions on those platforms) to even be there which really dampens my already meager socializing (real life and otherwise). I tend to take lots of pictures of my family and myself and all the things we do together but it almost feels plastic if I post about it on SM so I never do. I was searching specifically for this topic on here to see if any other autistic people dealt with this and I'm comforted to know I'm not alone in this!

[@namope359]

Social Media (SM) lately had been used as a measuring stick for my overall health as I had to reckon with some struggles and collapses a few months back, and used especially for ND and Mental Health and Health content. Also a jukebox as I'm realizing I might have trouble *not* listening to anything to get anything done. I've also come to accept that it's also become a juggernaut in my free time, as much I desire to have more time in less screen involved hobbies like oil painting and journaling. I want to have it more as a jukebox and a means of staying in touch with people I've met in real life as online communities can be quite insular, too. On the other hand, I use this channel for downloads (so many downloads...), explore myself, and getting to know this person through her content (people observation is very fascinating work). I thought I had passed the phase of "self-help", but for now, this place and others is where my "anime" would be and I've accepted I'll be riding the waves for now.

[@sweetpeahunnybee]

I’m watching this as I eat breakfast at 11 am 🍳🥞☕️ I found your videos yesterday and I’m hooked lol I think it’s because I feel like I can relate to you in so many ways. Its nice to hear that someone else thinks similarly to me because most people I’ve met don’t understand the way I am. We are close to the same age and you are even an artist and went to art school like me! I also really didn’t like how fake people were on social media and then acted so different when I would see them in class. I’ve always felt weird about social media and get really frustrated about likes. I was getting a lot of likes on instagram at one point when I was posting every day but I was secretly miserable during that time and no one knew it except my boyfriend and mom. When reels came into the equation I pretty much quit using any social media because I don’t enjoy filming my art process. I hope that I can completely stop using social media one day but I seem to keep “relapsing” because I start to feel really lonely without it and some part of me thinks that going on it will help (spoiler alert: it doesn’t ever help). I didn’t know i had autism until recently and everything is starting to slowly make sense. I don’t like social media bc it’s just a giant mask and it causes me to have meltdowns since I’m not being myself on it. Thank you for this video ❤

[@marleysoluna]

Thank you for another soothing, relatable af video! I usually watch your content in the morning while I'm getting ready for the day or doing basic chores that are too boring for my AuDHD brain to bear without a distraction. I love your calm vibes, I find your voice very soothing, and every video makes me feel less alone and gives me a lot to think about. I love that even though we have so many similar experiences, you have a unique perspective on them that helps me understand them more deeply. Thank you! ❤

[@vanillatwilight1701]

I just avoid it. I have KZbin, Pinterest and occasionally go on tumblr for art but I had Instagram for a while and just. Really disliked it and found peoples obesssion with it very confusing

[@SuperLazer64]

Social Media at first was sorta fascinating, but that was further from the truth. I have met a lot of people online and wish I meet them in person. But for me I acted like such a nuisance around some of my followers because I do not understand how it works, I was afraid of being lonely and forgotten, I wanted attention from them and like my posts but it only causes some of my followers to drift away from me because of how I acted poorly, and had to pull the autism excuse since I am diagnosed and I live a very rough non verbal life. But still no excuse for me to behave poorly. Then Twitter happened, and I had a good time back in 2016 - 2017 until trolls happen and the idiocy that evaporates. Mostly I assume they are ablest because these people hate people like me, and I don't know why. They just hate autistic people, so I left. because of the gruesome and grisly dilemma of edgy meme humor, all they care about is internet points (clout) and getting mad regardless. I wish I can meet a normal person somewhere in this cyberspace, it's rare to find anybody sane

[@wordcharm2649]

I don't think it makes sense to think of people as one thing, whether it be what they present online or offline. When you meet people in RL, they are in ONE type of environment, and that may be different to how they are online because online tends to be subject-focused. For example, if you met me on fandom, you'd get more of a fangirl vibe from me; if you met me in a writer's room, you'd get more of a horror/thriller writer vibe from me; if you met me on instagram, maybe a more shy, thoughtful, introspective vibe; and in RL, it would differ, but I rarely talk about fandom/writing/philosophy with people so my RL "version" of my is just kind of relaxed, a bit reserved at first, then kind of loud, talkative, energetic. These are all sides of me, and if i had more time, I could probably explore even more facets of myself through other modes of expression. I'm sure artsy!me would be very different as I tend to like really historical/rich art which you'd never think from just talking to me; if I switched from writing horror/thrillers to rom-coms, which I want to do in the future, people in those writers groups would be more exposed to my humorous and romantic side. So, I think at the core there is a myth that people are just ONE thing at the core, but that isn't true. Even if we have values, there are so many of them, and so many gradations to these values that'd it be hard to put people into boxes even based on seemingly black/white values. So when you meet a happy person in RL, but their online presence is moody, that doesn't mean you're meeting two people. That means you're meeting a very complex person. Not to mention, meeting someone in class is hardly "meeting" them. Being with them for years, decades, experiencing love/loss/grief/success/failure, then you get to really know people and through that you'd see more sides to them than just a fellow student relationship.

[@antyss]

I slowly stopped using all of the social media from my life and I felt better than ever! I stopped using everything except of one messenger where I chat with my best friend, youtube and tiktok (I use it probably twice a month or so, lol). I also unfollowed a majority of stuff I didn't need really. It feels so peaceful and calm now that I don't have the overwhelming stream of information in my life. My brain felt a lot better when the huge amount of stimuli was cut and reduced.

[@Yaelah-ws9rq]

Social media was my safe place until it wasnt.... i knew we become addict bcs of social media but the reality is... our irl fucked up so bad nothing can give us solace unless it is coming from social media??

[@romaeraegan]

i have a few private accounts i used t post on a lot just as a way to keep in touch with my friends and it helps with my memory (memory difficulty isn't a diagnostic symptom but still a common one that definitely affects me) but i moved onto journalling instead (and one server with my friends :3). i like how permanent and easy to customize journals are and i prefer handwriting as im still not good at typing

[@swedneck]

I've never understood social media with people you know IRL, aside from maybe just sharing vacation pics on facebook.. People always bang on about how social media is terrible and i just laugh because no, the problem is not social media, the problem is *shitty* social media. I just laugh at nonsense memes and cat photos on reddit and chat with likeminded people, like this social media is bloody wonderful.

[@PinkPulpito]

Lol i do the same checklist now, im so much happier besides my youtube addiction. I used to post everything even self destructive stuff and now i try to choose me. Your videos are cool because as someone without a diagnosis, high masking. I relate to how you describe things a lot more.

[@amandaelle1462]

I’ve never had social media and was diagnosed AuDHD in my early 30s. I didn’t understand social media and it now makes more sense why that is.

[@mf-ws3cj]

You're a comfort creator for me!

[@Saturn_xxo]

OMG OMAGAAOMGAAOMF NOOO THIS IS EXACTLY WHATS FUCKING MY HEAD THESE DAYS I LOVE U I LOVE U SM

[@Notjust-T]

7:43 "have you seen me without this stupid hat👺👺"

[@Atinakiwis]

social media makes me dizzy all the time

[@saggguy7]

Thanks!

[@americanphilosophy2701]

17:55 this is me all the time. That is why it has been years since I posted

[@TechieSewing]

I usually listen to mental health videos, which are mostly about autism and ADHD for me, while sewing, pinning and such, so I don't really watch them and often have my phone closed at the time.

[@caseyj1144]

I find social media very overstimulating. I used to be AB,e to do it more easily when things were ordered but now it feels like it’s all mixed up so I can’t find stuff and also in my face loudly in some way. KZbin I have settings on so I only see a few things and it’s ordered so it’s the only one I use (and Spotify)

[@Diversity_in_Neurodiversity]

Thanks for sharing! I resonated a lot with your experience with social media. Very similar to how I experience, feel, and think about it. As far as when I watch your videos, I think it's during a state of imposter syndrome tbh haha whenever I feel like maybe I'm not auDHD, I seek out your videos, and am reassured about my diagnosis since I resonate with all the videos I've seen so far. I also watch your videos while I'm at work or when I want to just have something in the background that's still stimulating but educational.

[@YazminM2222]

Thank you! Love your videos ❤