Autism Son Slaps Us Too Much

We've been keeping this pretty quiet for a while. Our autistic son has developed a habit of slapping us on the belly. While it's nothing too aggressive we want to teach him that any form of hitting isn't good. Is there a way to do this while respecting his ability to stim? Let's discuss.
#youtube #autism #education #sensory #specialneeds #autistic
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[@Darjan_Spasojevic]

You have a happy little boy. You know what you're doing dad. Good job. I can tell you care for him so much. Our 8 yr old son has autism. He is really a joy in our family. Thank God we got blessed with these kids, instead of careless parents.

[@superdrawerandsuperanimal8779]

First like. And I support you. Autistic kids can not help their actions, those without knows what they are doing but autistic kids don’t. Stims come in different forms , it can go anywhere from the tea pot stim to slapping. You know me very well now autistic family as I’ve commented a lot now. Those who don’t see me commenting my whole family has autism and possible me as getting tested. My older brother has got multiple needs that can be life threatening and he has autism so we all know the feeling. Thanks for the video.

[@miss.ttbagley-jones1584]

I'm Diagnosed with autism ADHD

[@superdrawerandsuperanimal8779]

@@shitukabir1635 bless him. I am glad things are better for him thanks to those herbs, everyone has different ways that help them to cope and I’m glad you can communicate with him.

[@laylaschmitt2564]

Get him a set of drums that you can have him go to every time he starts to hit others. It will help. It looks like he is having fun and exploring what it feels like to hit something. Maybe if he has drums he will no longer want to hit anything else. I have autism and used to hit my fingers and hands on anything around me in a rhythm. I really could have used a set of drums. Hope this helps. Good Luck! Much Love to All. NAMASTE!

[@Stella_Blue1972]

Our son has access to over a dozen hand drums plus a complete music studio in our house. He loves making music but he also continues slapping (lightly) himself and others. I think there is a textural element involved along with the different sound produced.

[@Owen2131_]

@@LuchoPiastri hello! im also a drummer on the spectrum! (Well, percussionist bc I specalize in marching and concert percussion.)

[@GrannyGooseOnYouTube]

​@@shitukabir1635stop spamming.

[@user-eg8ht4im6x]

It not what I’d call ‘slapping’ he don’t look like he’s doing it to hurt, or for any bad reasons, it looked like he’s simply patting you. To me a slap it’s a hard forkful hit with flat of hand, not a light patting. I think by the look of it he’s trying to contact with you, he’s just doing it in an usually way, this don’t look aggressive in any way. Your good parents, you are handling this well. Well said redirect, he’s not wanting hurt you, he just needs your help in how to use a more appropriate way of showing you he wants to physically contact you. He’s a lovely child. You have such a lovely understanding of your children and what they need and you explaining this really helps others, thank you for sharing a difficult subject.

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Yeah I’d say most of the time he’s “patting” but sometimes he really puts some heat behind those slaps 😄

[@kirenjattan9885]

Hi from Sydney,Australia.I ❤ your channel I have autism, dyslexia and other autisticrelated things.I repeated years 1 and 2 in primary school and didn't speak till 9. I was labelled a stubborn naughty kid, you have to love the 1980s thinking 😵‍💫🤯. I'm glad you did this video because alot of autistic people slap. Not to hurt people, to self regulate and sensory needs. I was an extremely full-on slapper as a child. The tingling you get when you hit your hand on a table.Imagine that feeling x 5. That's what slapping people or anything feels like to me. Also, the feeling it causes helps me self regulate and block out the noises. Your channel helps so many families and people with autism thank you.

[@ChamaDC]

Thank you for sharing❤

[@tammylewis6296]

Thank you for sharing- your channel is so helpful! Your boys have such amazing and loving parents! God bless you all.

[@michael8170]

I don’t think your son Alister doesn’t mean to slap you, he can’t help what he’s doing to you. I don’t know if my cousin Trey ever done this to me anyway. But great video on explaining it more to your viewers watching.😊😊😊

[@meganpowers-rr9zj]

I love how much you love your son and he seems very happy and joyful and he seems to really love his life. Sending you love everyday❤, god bless you

[@brittanyb.300]

I needed this so much. Thank you for sharing. Going through a similar situation with our son. Seeking OT for him.

[@nathanjw940]

So proud of you Allister! You don't want him to get stronger. I really just like his personality all 3 boys actually

[@GRHB-qg2ko]

This was a really great video and a really great way to address this topic. Kudos to you!

[@cowabungasimpson2934]

Have you ever heard about the Simpsons there so funny

[@dorothythornton4993]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@ariajane8695]

For me, it's biting and I used to bite my shirt collar so much and then I got my chewies. Since then, I haven't bitten my shirt collars. I always have my chewing necklaces on 24/7.

[@JeremiahRios27]

Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏻 ❤️

[@aiomah]

You are doing such a great job with your kids, your kids are so lucky to have you ❤ love from Kuwait

[@daxlagoslanguageguy0072]

I'm 30 and autistic and I do that to my dad's belly, I don't hurt him but you do have a point 😊💙♾️🫂

[@7Aheadfamily]

Thank you! Great advice!

[@nicoleroulhac6574]

I am new to this channel, so I appreciate that you have this channel and share your journey. I have a 4yo with an ASD diagnosis. I had a similar issue with him, but his outbursts were out of anger. I talked to his doctor and we decided on medication because I had bruises up and down my leg. Redirection didn't work as often as I would have liked, and if he couldn't get to me, he would hurt himself. I don't have the outbursts completely figured out, but medication definitely helped.

[@Mala4734]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am just finding this channel as I’m wondering if my soon to be five year old could possibly be on the spectrum. He is such an energetic happy little boy, so playful and giggly, but he has moments of anger and tantrums, so I’m just trying to figure everything out and how to help him the best I can.

[@nicoleroulhac6574]

@LeeLee V I would usually describe my son as happy and energetic as well. But he's nonverbal so when he has his outbursts, I can't always pinpoint why. There were many indicators that had me believe he was on the spectrum, such as not responding to his name, very selective eating, and his inability to make eye contact, to name a few. I wish you and your little the best. They say early intervention is important with regards to an ASD diagnosis.

[@muklukPL]

Hi, good video it change my view on my son behavior. Thank you.

[@Young_r700]

Love this video ❤️

[@ekvcharvey]

Thank you!

[@ChamaDC]

My 8 year old just started to do this too, he is also been clapping when he is playing with his iPad, so definitely sensory seeking, thanks for sharing ❤

[@ThatPaintingLass]

I’ll definitely be reading through the comments for the next several days to see what kind of redirects you guys post. if anyone has the spoons to reply to this comment, with redirects especially for hitting i would be eternally grateful. I have a three-year-old autistic son who hits for basically any big emotion, happy, sad, mad, hungry… it’s been tough. OT, speech path and Dr have helped a lot but he still hits me a lot.

[@bethanyclinton5923]

I literally started crying when you said this video is about hope. I sure hope things get better for us. It's rough right now. My daughter hasn't been diagnosed yet, and she's 6. We are still on the waiting list, I really believe she needs medication. It feels like life is on hold for us

[@darkchipz3016]

I never knew that some stims could be dangerous, thanks for the information tho!

[@saifurrahman8471]

Thank you very much. I now know why my son does this.

[@sairachowdhury7818]

I completely agree with you. Any kind of behaviour is hurting him or others need to stopped. I started to do this with the help of OT & now he stopped clapping his chest. Stimming will be there all the time but it needs to be manageable & not harmful.

[@staceyjohnson1377]

Such an awesome video! My 8 year old son with autism has recently started gentle slaps on ppl but he is so happy while he does it. I thought it was a comfort thing. ❤️

[@zavienterry1111]

I just find it funny when he was slapping y’all’s belly 🤣

[@annettewhaanga1978]

Yous are good parents always remember that my son has autism and I never did get help from anyone I had n still am learning

[@NickyJohnK219]

Love you guys so much you’re such an awesome family❤

[@gracelacson1592]

Thank you for sharing this video. I have a non verbal autistic child. He gets aggressive when we cannot understand him. He would pinch us when he is stressed.

[@marlaf6728]

Our son does the same thing to our bellies. And also chews on his shirt or sucks his thumb. Redirecting helps sometimes.

[@elizabethkusce2718]

I just tell my son that it hurts and it’s not nice and he stops. Yes you are so right about not having a magic wand to secure the issue some things work sometimes and sometimes it doesn’t.

[@pankaj29904]

Your videos are really very very helpful. Thanks for posting. Is it okay to scream at one's autistic child when what he is doing is not acceptable and doesn't listen to whatever said mildly?? Your guidance will be of immense use to me because sometimes I get frustrated when he doesn't get to understand or may be realise what I say him in a mild tone.

[@connieomillion8148]

Thankyou

[@stardashstudios3488]

@Autism Family I myself am autistic and whenever I get really mad, I go outside to my chickens and calm down

[@amylynn3610]

My son was diagnosed with autism when he was 12 months old. He is now a over 3 years old. My husband and I are having a hard time with him hitting, biting and pinching. He is non verbal as of now and doesn’t understand how to tell us what he wants. It is very difficult when we are out in public because people judge him and have no problem saying something either to him or to us.

[@jmccouture3866]

Great information. Tell your family I said hi.

[@Sonicfan-cc1te]

About the autism biting video, My older brother with severe autism used to bite his wrist all the time, it got to the point where his wrist had a really big mark on it and my parents and nanny at the time were working really hard to try and get him to stop. eventually he stopped and hasn't seemed to be in that habit for a while. He did use chew toys when he was younger but later on he developed pica and often ate a lot of his toys and even his bedroom wall and his clothes, one time he even ate a marble and barfed it up later on. He also has a lot of stimmulatory behaviors like wrecking things, a lot of things he had possession off even now almost always gets wrecked not long after. There are some other behaviors he has which I'm not going to talk about right now. As for me, I have mild autism and I never had a lot of stims but I do bite my hair a lot and sometimes I have the tendency to wreck things that are already falling apart, I also sometimes rock, flap my hands, jump and vocalize when I get excited I tend to mask it a lot though.

[@chriscohlmeyer4735]

There is stimming and there is stimming with anxiety. Normal stimming is generally benign even with gently "slapping" while cuddled up with a parent. Toss in a situation causing anxiety or boredom or frustration or emotions or ODD and the same action can cause pain to self or others or be disruptive, this is where redirection becomes an important tool for parents and teachers.

[@elizabethkusce2718]

Lol my son does this too, he tells me I’m soft and squishy lol. He lays on me just like he does his mom watching a movie and stats hitting the jelly belly lol.

[@WyattRyeSway]

My brother bit until he was about 9. I have ASD and my stim is just hand flapping though I try to be conscious of it and not do it. In a way, this stim seems like he’s saying he loves you. Least it seems that way to me

[@_RavishingRaven_]

Aww that was awesome! Wish we had something around us like that! It's hard to take my kids anywhere tho. Cause it's normally just me taking them. My older daughters 9 and 12 help me a lot with their 4 & 2, autistic little brothers.

[@_RavishingRaven_]

Love how this comment jumped onto the next video of yours I watched. Wtf KZbin. Lol

[@sofiahammarsten8932]

Thank you for this video ❤ can i ask did your kids ever scream White happy ? My two year old screams when hes happy 😬

[@Stella_Blue1972]

My autistic son does this to me and also himself. Fortunately we can redirect without too much of an issue, he is very sensitive to possibly hurting others.

[@mogznwaz]

My nephew is autistic and over time he has learned to control the worst of his violent impulses because his mum is absolutely 💯 clear and consistent with rules and consequences. Took a while but they can and do learn. If you have the attitude they can’t - it might be because it’s too hard for YOU not them - then it’s a self fulfilling prophecy and lets you off the hook of even trying

[@saturnprincess88]

We are having a similar problem for the last over half a year with hair touching and playing with others' hair, especially peers at my son's preschool. I think you are right that it's a stim. It seems like a compulsion. I don't have a great solution yet and it feels a bit depressing when it seems to interfere with making friends and the teachers don't like it. I bought him some hair samples for a hair salon, but he prefers real hair on someone's head.

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Yeah replacing one habit with another is easier said than done for sure. I wish you the best.

[@saturnprincess88]

@@AutismFamilyChannel Thank you, you too! I feel less alone thanks to you.

[@user-yu8qm4or9j]

I have Adhd and Asd I have stims like nail biting, drumming my bellies, there are times i hurt my self, and when Flashback Start the meltdown start when the meltdown is over I Cooldown. When I have Urges drumming my bellies I Use Drum set

[@yourwhitenoisevideos9173]

I am a KJP in Germany. I can tell You one thing: Dont do things immediately. Take your time if you can. Our Autistic (severe Autism) Son is raised completely permissiv. Dont try to give a direction. Time will heal the most of the "bad habbits". For example: Our Son didnt go to bed before 03.00 am. We wanted to control it and it got worse. He developed steriotype behaviours (hand flipping). Than we didnt do anthing and after 3 Years he goes to the bed without any problems at around 09.00 pm. We had many problems. The most problems go away with time. Have a good day, take care.

[@brandonmorris1192]

My son does the same thing he's also on the spectrum.

[@thomasschoeck9080]

Around his age I used to butt people with my head the way that goats do with their horns. My parents told me that it was not nice to do this and they assumed that I did it out of anger. I don’t remember being angry when I did it and I still can’t explain why I did this, but I seem to remember that after maybe a month of doing it and being sent to my room for it I eventually stopped. I didn’t yet have any kind of diagnosis (that would come over a decade later after seeing a neurologist) and so it was assumed that I was doing it out of anger, a desire for attention, or in order to deliberately embarrass my parents (or all of the above). This was not the case, but at the time no one in my family had any way of knowing this.

[@jonathanmcclellan8296]

Hi this is the kid with autism and my doctor gave me a new autism medical bracelet and I have very bad stems and When I have autism meltdowns my mom make me watch autisim sincere videos and I take Lexapro for my meltdowns if you look up Lexapro and autism you'll no inm not lying your cool love your videos

[@Kiddly3000]

hugs

[@kerrysmith9666]

A friend all of a sudden started behaving like that in high school, and her parents treated her with antibiotics of accurate malaria and it stopped and never returned.

[@ravenID429]

I think try to redirect him to a different stim the same way you would if he was hitting his head or something like that Maybe his own stomach if he can do it gently, he probably wouldn’t do it hard enough to hurt then unless he was upset

[@tillybaker7425]

Could you give me some tips on anger management and what autistic kids put in school bags

[@922Virgo]

I understand why you didn’t want to share. My son is 3.5 yrs old and recently has started biting when he’s excited and/or laughing. It’s scary because he’s actually left marks on me from his teeth and I don’t want him to get in trouble in school. And when I look it up on google I can’t find anyone saying the same thing. Most children that bite are upset, my son does it when he’s giggling, and then he’ll lean in and bite into my shirt and through to my arm…

[@bridazzel7588]

That’s intresting

[@jemmawild9965]

I do that and I'm 23 😅 but I also only do if when happy and my partner understands but he tries to tell me calm down when gets too intense

[@urwashahid9210]

Thanks for this video. My son recently started banging his head a lot and today he did it at his nursery for the first time. His class teacher made a huge deal out of it and was literally keeping him from going near any child. What can i do to redirect that

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Try to kindly educate her about autism and what your son is going through. If you ask her if she knew what was going on with your son I find that’s always better than “telling” her (or anyone) so they don’t feel threatened.

[@urwashahid9210]

@AutismFamilyChannel thanks a lot for the advise. I asked her what led him to do that and she told me that another kid took a truck he was playing with and that led him to become very disregulated. They didn't stop him as he didn't let them come near him so he kept doing it for a long time. When I went to pick him up, I saw that my son was going towards colorful pompoms on a girl's shirt and his class teacher pulled him away. She was scared he might harm her. That's what worried me. He did bang his head yes but he never hits anyone else. How can I discuss this with his teacher? She is now making me sign risk assessment forms that my son can harm himself and others. That will go in the records. I want this head banging to be stopped and redirected, not to be there on records as something that defines him after a one off event.

[@_RavishingRaven_]

My 4 year old loves smacking me, mommy (in my belly and chest area lol 😅). No one else. And it's normally when he gets wound up. It doesn't hurt till it's the 4th time in the same spot. Lol I'm trying to redirect to smacking my hand (high five) but it's definitely hard. He is also starting to hit himself in the face and it has me and dad so concerned. Trying to figure out different outlet to divert him in those times. Thank you for your channel.

[@_RavishingRaven_]

He is non verbal and doesn't understand a whole lot yet. It's definitely stressful. I'm just glad they're people out there who make these videos!

[@virginiascallions2825]

What about using Bongos or one of those Irish drums that you hold in your hands. Since he does this when he is happy. This way he can make music. Then he can make a lot of people happy. 😉. Tell, him if he has to hit, hit the bongo or drum.

[@luvkris04]

My 3 year old son (4 next month) does this only to me all day long and he likes to headbutt and it drives me insane. I just want it to stop. We are still waiting for therapy to begin, he just received his diagnosis 3 months ago and everything is moving so slow as far as to getting him help. I feel like giving up bc everything is an obstacle course and circus. Please tell me it'll get better

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

It will get better, perhaps you should watch this, particularly the end: kzbin.info/www/bejne/maXQYWVul5utp5Y

[@jasonstout1920]

I have high autistic daughter and she is very jealousy of me and her mom together showing any kind of affection or talking to each other. She will put giant holes in walls and throws glasses. Broke our her t.v. any videos on this?

[@lilbatz]

The hardest thing is to teach is other humans do not feel like the exact same was as the autistic person does. My cousin believed if he was happy, everyone felt the exact same way. I'm sure Alastair feels slapping=happy=slapping parents is happy for them too. People aren't one big hive mind. That viewpoint bleeds into so many other situations, and it's important that they learn it. Hell, neurotypicals need to learn it too. Lol Glad he's doing better.

[@legochick2000]

What if your child is non-verbal and can't speak? How would you know they're understanding you when your trying to correct them?

[@ntuimimi5948]

My son bites his hands until he has got marks already. I do not know how to stop it because attimes he gets violent

[@LifeWithNatisiaPlus6SportsBoys]

Omgggg my baby do the same thing 😮

[@Basildonboy]

Have you tried distraction techniques

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Yes 👍

[@gorangers3969]

To be honest with you if he was slapping me I would probably yell at him and take my anger out on him because I have Autism as well and I have anger issues as well

[@nomlouautismchronicals3735]

my 11 years old son autistic son have started slapping me lately n was wondering why now I know

[@rjbarber2522]

Seeking help, my son is autistic he’s 18 he has meltdowns the meltdowns can get very violent and last for up to an hour to kick in holes in the wall slapping biting me and his mama except I don’t want to lose custody of my son asking for help it’s scary

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Have you used soft restraints and/or wrestling gear?

[@au9parsec]

Bedtime Bear---> 💙 🐻 💙 🌙

[@ALLSPECIALNEEDSNOW]

❤👍👍👍

[@milliehill8009]

Hi I'm a girl and I might have autisum i never make eye contact in school only home

[@sweetgirl-jp4hn]

209 like 👍👍👍👍👍 ❤❤❤❤ 💜💜💜💜 Keep it up, you look good in T-shirt I like your t-shirt...

[@mysterionz]

When I was a toddler/a young child, I would often pinch/hit my mom

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

How did you grow out of it?

[@mysterionz]

@@AutismFamilyChannel it kinda went away as I got older. I still stim, like a lot. A coworker and I were joking around today at work (both adults) and I pretended a breadstick was a Lightsaber from Star Wars and did a gentle tap on him. He’s a good sport and very witty (also neurodivergent).

[@heikehollas4109]

🎈🌹❤️

[@levelat350]

About,the slapping. Tell your children that the “Full Metal Jacket” days are over now.

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Not sure what you mean by that?

[@levelat350]

@@AutismFamilyChannel Well,you see. As shown in Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 Motion Picture “Full Metal Jacket”,there was a scene where Ronald Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman was asking Vincent Onofirio as Private Pyle (who was NOT very smart),a question,and Sgt.Hartman slapped PVT.Pyle. And by the way,I am STILL an Officer in Civil Air Patrol and by NO MEANS am I allowed to slap members.

[@crazyrainbowninja7097]

I have that compulsion to slap myself on the neck and head but sometimes I feel like I want to slap my daddy and mommy‘s belly or arms

[@MarinaLopez-db3bb]

How come Ian needs medication?

[@coopyduck6901]

I wouldn’t consider that slapping. Looks like affectionate connection with his parents or self soothing.

[@mysterionz]

I also once had a kid in the same ABA class as me (I was 7-8) slap me hard in the back. It hurt a lot.

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

Sorry to hear that

[@mysterionz]

@@AutismFamilyChannel I remember I went over to my friends house (who also did ABA with me) and his mom had to put a Bandaid on my back.

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

Luckily our son's haven't had any harmful stimming to others two of them bite themselves a bit at times. Our youngest stims and needs stimulation of skin to skin contact he requires rubs like his back or arms, legs and now he like belly/chest rubs, he also requests hugs all the time mostly from me but he is a super affectionate kid and wants hugs from his siblings and dad but our oldest doesn't enjoy affection in that way so at times it can be hard

[@5p674]

Looks more like patting than slapping.

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

It depends on the day. I’ve only recorded stuff that’s pretty soft because when it’s hard I have to block him with both hands and give him compression hugs to chill him out. 😉

[@DogLover1718]

He shouldn’t slap u guys if he wants to slap stim he should do it on him self I’m autistic and when I’m angry/stressed I Strath and occasionally bite myself I would do that to anyone else

[@markstoyreviews6641]

i don’t slap

[@markstoyreviews6641]

that’s wired

[@bennolanswaggerdiaper]

At my middle school my teacher will have us go into a different room if one of the students is having a meltdown

[@derekaldrich4887]

I hope he doesn’t hit Connor or Ian or you or your wife

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

He doesn't touch the other boys because they hit back, lol

[@derekaldrich4887]

@@AutismFamilyChannel can ian try to make a KZbin channel some day

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

@@derekaldrich4887 He may, he's talked about that possibility

[@cowboyfinleys2757]

Does allister and his classmates have p e

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

yes

[@robbiesahota260]

My brother slaps😊

[@DogLover1718]

If he does this in public he could get in trouble or u could told of or kicked out of places

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

True that

[@kukuriku7412]

no more stims with tongue??

[@AutismFamilyChannel]

He does sometimes

[@kukuriku7412]

@@AutismFamilyChannel does he have everyday stim with tongue?