When The [....] Hits The Autistic Fan (A Tale of Accessibility, Burnout & Hope)

[@holmavik6756]

Now when I’m in my fifties my nd traits keep getting Worse and I suffer badly from burnout. Some days I don’t even manage to get out of bed. I work as a researcher at a university and used to be very productive and independent. Now I am a wreck and it is all quite humiliating

[@autiejedi5857]

As a fellow 50-something autistic I can relate so much. Burnout is awful at any age, but the older we get our reserves make it harder to bounce back to a functional level. (Maybe that comparison could be a discussion topic?) All the best to you and the missus. 💜

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you. And thank you too for being with the channel for so long🖖

[@MartinBahls]

Agreed 100%.

[@tommyw8576]

I burned out by age 47, and could no longer mask my Autism. I am 66 now.

[@Stacy-s1s]

Would love to hear Quinn address that, too

[@myworldautistic6839]

I am so grateful you dropped the background music. I can't thank you enough for that. There are so few videos i can actually watch because of my severe auditory sensory sensitivities. Thank you so much. ❤

[@jayjaychappo]

I burnt out last year and am still recovering. A couple of weeks ago my son came home from the drs with instructions to do some adhd and autism online tests. For support and fun and curiosity I did them also and yep shock horror I scored high on autism and adhd while my son indicated traits for adhd. You might be able to imagine my world and sense of identity (58 years of depression, 'failure' and discomfort) has been turned upside down, and so much more makes sense. I am glad to have found your channel while I deep dive into all this. Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry about your loss.

[@katieyoung7271]

I’m so very sorry for your loss, Quinn

[@greatmeatball2978]

You're the only autism channel I watch. Never found anything even close to your quality. And as an autistic person, I'm astonished at your personal strength and resilience. Thank you so much for your honest work and for being vulnerable.

[@TheLastEgg08]

Am I the only one who isn’t autistic but just loves autistic youtubers because you can just “vibe with the vibe?” There’s just something about it that is so calming, refreshing and soothing. Adhder though, I don’t know if it has any connection with that (the fact that I really like the autism community on youtube, is what I mean).

[@Autistamatic]

The crossover between autism & ADHD is already known to be significant. It's something I'll expand on soon 😉

[@TheLastEgg08]

@@Autistamatic Very nice 😁

[@raven4090]

I'm autistic, and ADHD.

[@esnevip]

"Vibes" Don't exist. That's synesthesia.

[@Autistic_AF]

Hello Quinn, thank you for posting this. I am sorry, I didn't realise you were unwell. Your video was posted in my autisticat community by a lovely viewer of yours. Listening away, I felt absolutely seen - I completely understand how you feel regarding YT video time consumption. For me, I'm around one hour per minute of produced video. At first, like you, I accommodated as many changes as I could. Eventually culminated in a rather amusing thread where viewers debated between themselves on the merits of closed captioning, colours and sound and finally agreeing that it's impossible to produce one piece of content that pleases and suits everybody. Fortunately, there are a variety of creators on KZbin, each with our own styles, experience and audiences. And whilst there is some overlap, there is a content vibe to suit everyone, should they browse around KZbin a little. Thank you, Quinn, and I love your shirt. -Mike x Edit:I'm so sorry to hear about your news :(

[@Autistamatic]

Hi Mike. Your channel's started popping up in my feed recently so I've started watching your back catalogue & I really like what you do. It's SO important to get multiple voices out there and it's great to see more of us out there than when I started this. I'm somewhere between 1-2 hours per minute of finished video at this point but I'm working on reducing it (as described in the film above). If you ever fancy collaborating or just comparing notes, please drop me a line😊😊

[@jo45]

I’m all for this a collab!! 🙏

[@Autistic_AF]

@@Autistamatic Hey Quinn, I'd be delighted to - I've emailed you. Worth letting you know that here in case I'm in your spam or junk folders 😁

[@JanneGlass]

Yes collab, collab, collab!!! 🥳

[@laura.bseyoga]

@@Autistamatic & @Autistic_AF A collab between you would be great! 💚

[@ninabrownsilberman7919]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel like our animal family members are on par with the human ones. I know this is only one part of the video, but I completely understand why you had another person explain that.

[@Autistamatic]

It'll never stop hurting, but then it never does. Because I was very low when it happened, it hit me even harder. I'll be talking about it more at some point because I learned a lot about myself and aspects of my autistic nature during that time, but it'll have to wait until I'm ready. Thank you for commenting 💜

[@IrethAmandil]

Thank you Quinn for being here. I don't know if I'm autistic or not, but your videos have helped me relate to myself and a few others in a world where I haven't been able to relate to most other people I've come across. Thank you for helping me accept myself; my sensitivities, my strengths, and my quirks, oddities, and eccentricities. Thank you for helping me feel less broken as a human and just more differently-made. And thank you for standing up for your unique type of content and protecting the accommodations you've made for this community in spite of popular KZbinr expectations. It's a sacrifice you make for us; doing less of the things that curate for more views and likes, and more of the things that are meaningful and bolster integrity. It's so rare these days. Thanks man.

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you. It matters not whether someone has a diagnosis, only that they relate and it helps them either understand themselves better, or show a little more kindness to someone in their lives. Great avatar btw😁😁

[@BooBooBugalugs]

Beautifully put!

[@shimmerpop]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and the absolute whirlwind that's been your life behind the scenes. I'm so happy to hear things are looking up and deeply appreciate your candour and vulnerability at every turn. I'm an Asian woman in her mid 20s who received her diagnosis just earlier this year, and it's really fascinating watching autists of vastly different demographics be so...incredibly similar at our core. Even more so than my own non-autistic kin. It's surreal watching a middle-aged white man "ramble" in much the same way as my most authentic self, and I can picture the getting bored, "get on with it!" responses which almost got a bit triggered in myself. But actually it's much needed. Thank you for being so open about all this and showing us it's not only okay but human and wonderful even to be vulnerable. Even if it seems foolish to do so on the internet, especially as a middle-aged man. I'm so happy you're met with so much warmth and acceptance in this community, as you should always be. I wish you and your family great health, great success, and a great reach that always gives you back the way you give to us. 🙏🏼

[@Autistamatic]

Thenk you. You've put a BIG smile on my face😁

[@victorkulkosky1184]

Glad to see you back, Quinn. You're my favorite autistic KZbinr, in part, because we're closer in age -- although I've got a few years on you, so respect your elders, whipper-snapper 😜 -- and your style is like what I might use if I made KZbin videos. That is -- with a mix of information and personal experience, delivered at a measured pace. Some of the younger autistic KZbinrs have adopted the common YoutTube feature of speaking very quickly, but they've taken it to a nerve-wracking extreme, combined with manic editing that makes me jittery. Plus, I'm so far removed from the culture of 20-somethings that I miss their cultural references.. Should I start a channel called "The Autistic Curmudgeon"? 🤔 But seriously, I have no plans to get into videos. I'm concentrating on writing, or trying to. Thanks again. Your presence on YoutTube definitely makes this almost-on-Medicare autist's life better.

[@Autistamatic]

Hi Victor. Thanks for being the first to comment and for your support. I think this is the first video that your name has appeared at the end as a Patron. I also of the firm opinion that the role of "Autistic Curmudgeon" deserves to be given official status acknowledging a vital role in maintaining societal balance!

[@Baptized_in_Fire.]

I can relate.

[@earthwalker9109]

Yes please to The Autistic Curmudgeon! 56 yrs old and I too need slooooowww talking if my ears and brain are to cope 😅

[@Green_Roc]

Me: Audience, Autistic, Neurodivergent. Your voice is soothing to me. I can imagine you could narrate some documentaries. I thank you for making videos. I like the topic of autism, spoken of positively (not the deficit model that so many others blather out) so I can help myself have reason to stay alive.

[@towzone]

Condolences on loosing your friend, especially during such a traumatic time. Just know how much you have and do help those of us learning who we are in this ridiculous world, that what you do is important, appreciated, and needed. In addition, I block channels that are “too KZbin”, because I require substance.

[@unapologeticallyautisanal3057]

Hello friend, so very sorry for all of the shitty things. Glad you are, hopefully, feeling a bit more hopeful. Sending love.

[@Tormekia]

Thanks so much for what you do. Your voice is always calming and enjoyable to listen to ad you go over such important stuff. I wish more people could see your channel. It's been a real light in the dark for me. Thanks! ❤️

[@Autistamatic]

Hopefully plenty more will! Thank you

[@jennifera9566]

Quinn, you’re an inspiration to struggling and burnt out autists everywhere! Every video you release motivates me a little more to keep pressing onwards after my own sudden and traumatic firing last year. In large part because of you, instead of entering a depressive spiral after a year of fruitless job searching, I’m working on starting a podcast to tell my own autistic story 💜

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for commenting Jennifer. Getting periodically broken and rebuilding ourselves is part of the autistic experience, so I guess any autistic-run channel that hangs around long enough is going to HAVE to talk about it ;🤔 BTW if picking my brains would help you with your podcast endeavour then get in touch.

[@treasurechest2951]

There's a part of me that lights up when I see a new video from you, the part of myself I trust most. I respect that you address the common attention-getting tactics and you hold your ground, which is why you're the only YT autism presenter I regularly watch. Thanks for updating us, and best wishes to you and yours.

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you. I just read this comment in my email first thing in the morning. What a lovely comment to wake up to 😊

[@RoundSparrow]

this kind of video is heartbreaking because it is so descriptive of both the communications challenges of autism and in general how humanity deals with teachers, educators, presenters. I can only watch so much at a time because it hits so personally what I see as patterns of world conflict. It's great work, and what we need. I'm not suggesting you change a thing. I'm glad it is here for me to revisit. Thank yo Quinn.

[@HaakonOdinsson]

I’m 60 and in the burnouts are getting longer and I have lesser energy to deal with them than I had when I was younger. Also have to deal with those around me who don’t get it and misinterpret it as me being difficult, selfish, drama queen, attention seeking etc….god! It’s so blasted frustrating. Being dismissed, not believed, misunderstood etc etc is very upsetting for me. I enjoy watching autistic channels (your is great btw), as they are very validating for me and my self-doubt, which is quite debilitating. I like your calm and paced delivery, thank you 🙂🙏 Other channels, although good informatively, the pace can be somewhat frenzied, if I’m allowed to say, and I find myself having to rewind them at times. Some channels, not necessarily autism ones, have blaring background music on the as well, and I find that extremely grating! lol. Take care, all the best

[@Autistamatic]

I really feel you there. It gets harder every time. This time my circumstances and incentives/motivations differ from at any time in the past, as do some of the consequences. Life gets harder but the stakes get higher too. Thanks for the feedback. Whatever direction the channel goes in, the style will remain the same measured pace as now.

[@HaakonOdinsson]

@@Autistamatic yes I get what you’re saying and thank you ever so much for your kind words and understanding sir. It’s getting extremely difficult the older I get. On my own, friends are always busy, brother who thinks I’m deliberately trying to hurt him and he says things like “what happens to my children, they are 18, if I die (when he says how am I and I’m honest with him and explain I’m not doing good). I feel ashamed for saying how I am, guilty. Just come out of a burnout that’s lasted near two months. Phone was off, not looked at Facebook, not really gone out either (3-4 times, early morning, to avoid people). Put my phone on and apologised to a couple of friends for the none communication. Tried to explain, without it sounding dramatic or in a “selfish” demeanour, why I isolated and got a message replying about them seeing a mate in a hospice (cancer) and another visit to a funeral (cancer). I felt incredibly guilty for trying to explain my situation and full of shame. Was I wrong to even try to explain considering their circumstances? Sorry to burden you with my troubles, considering you yourself have been in burnout, sorry, don’t mean to. Best wishes and I hope you feel better soon and keep up the great work you do and the way you do it 🙏⭐️

[@loricat5606]

I'm very happy that you're planning on bringing back the darker backgrounds! Thank you for explaining the reason for the change to a white background. And yes, the lighting made it much less harsh on the eyes this time!

[@shanninantonopoulo1237]

You were missed. Many of us are on the other side of recent COVID...and also lost our beloved pets..You are never alone! Keep doing you. It means more than you know to us.x

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you 😊 I've learned a lot about grief in recent years, but that was one of the hardest lessons.

[@augiegirl1]

My mom & dad just had COVID a few weeks ago, even though they were both vaccinated last fall (they're 73).

[@autisticMargo]

Lol, aging goth, Quinn, I appreciate your content and insights. Thank you for helping folks like me 🦋

[@Autistamatic]

I didn't look quite like this in the late 80s😉

[@Synchrodipity]

I had that dalek - unfortunately my dyspraxia broke it when I wasn't paying attention. :( Good to see you on here, I don't have the attention span to watch all this right now (having my own challenges), but I'm sorry to hear you've been having a hard time of late.

[@Autistamatic]

I have the black version too... but there's a lamp missing and the eye-stalk's snapped! Breaking your own stuff sucks😒

[@jo45]

Sorry to hear about your loss, I wish you all the best ❤️

[@alanguest1979]

I experienced a muscle spasm in March and have been in various intensities of pain for the last two months. But although I'm not quite out of the woods yet, I feel better and should fully recover by the end of the month.

[@Autistamatic]

Hi Alan. Ouch! Hope you're right & you're feeling fit soon.

[@Authentistic-ism]

Oh lord i don't know what my previous comments were, but have at it! I'm here for it as long as you are 🤗

[@BlueRoseHelen252]

Oh no I am soo sorry for your loss and the struggles you have had to endure. I have watched lots of your videos while researching autism over the last few years. Thank you for what you do. 😊

[@Autistamatic]

And thank YOU for watching.

[@chellie99]

Another heart going out to you, Quinn. It has been a year since I lost one of the best friends I ever had, my little cat of 19 years. Still mourning, and guess I always will. I have understood for some time now that part of my mental health story is that I am on the autism spectrum. A recent and long overdue talk with a beloved family member helped me to step back from the details, and a video by you helped me to refocus. Autism is not so much a part of my story, but it is the big picture from which so many mysteries and struggles emanate. I can't thank you enough for the generosity you demonstrate while sharing your story, video by video. Yours truly, from a 59 year old lone wolf who knows what she likes. 💘

[@mariuszwisla3230]

I'm glad to see you are recovering. When I reached burnout, after too many curveballs, as you call them thrown at me by the universe, I was a zombie for year and half, when I finally decided I am getting better, and that it's tme to get back to living my life. I'm looking forward to all those new (supposedely scary as you implied) things. You're my favourite youtube channel. I watched all of your videos. Yours is well the most informative, and unique (copycat of a copycat doesn't appeal to me) about being autistic, and I think it's easy to grasp, and comprehand for everyone

[@Autistamatic]

It's scary because it's new, it's unfamiliar and I don't know what to expect. You as an audience have collectively shown me that there's value in what I do though, and that provides motivation & incentive that's sorely lacking in a world that usually squashes us. Thank you for being a part of that.

[@mariuszwisla3230]

@@Autistamatic I get that part about lack of purpose all too well

[@akarajiannidou]

Although I am not autistic, I like you and your channel very much. All the best!

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you for taking an interest in autistic lives and for being part of that final third of this neurodiverse audience😎

[@KayleenGnwmythr]

Thank you for this great video, and I'm sorry you've been going through so much. The commentary about adapting to changes is particularly helpful for me, as I recently retired, but I'm probably going to need to get some other income stream going (my partner and I also both have health problems), so I'm viewing this "retirement" as a break before whatever I do next. And as someone who has lived with cats for most of her six and a half decades, losing one is never easy. You have my commiserations.

[@Autistamatic]

Good luck with negotiating those life changes. Sadly more and more of us are needing to work when we should be retired & I can see myself being in that boat too. I really hope you find something you can enjoy & fits in well with your circumstances.

[@BooBooBugalugs]

Myself, daughter, and granddaughter, all lost our precious dogs earlier this year. We also suddenly lost a very special friend. You are so helpful, Quinn. You get it.

[@jazzypanduh]

“BE MORE KZbin” gave me a scare 😅

[@lysasarah-jaeviolet2072]

Much love to you and your wife Quinn. Your videos make me feel understood and far less alone in the world. Thankyou for being You xx

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you 😊 Knowing that people appreciate what I make does something similar for me.

[@krugerfuchs]

Im glad you're here you're my favourite autism person too

[@flyygurl18]

Welcome back Quinn; My condolences for your loss of Jimmy🙏 Your content fills a specific space in this community of similar souls and is therefore missed when absent... ☀

[@kyleethekelt]

Wonderfully relieved to hear you sounding like yourself again; and that Auphonic has put a lovely finish on your audio. in a world which seems to feature increasing storm-clouds your content is sorely needed.

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks Kylee. Fiddling with the settings has produced good results, so it was a great recommendation! Thanks again for your voice💜

[@joil6649]

I wondered where you were. I’m glad you’re still making videos.

[@PeppermintPatties]

Thank you, Quinn. I'm going through a burnout that has been going on for years now, and it is hard, given I'm supposed to be socalled 'high-functioning'. I do hope you and Mrs. A. are doing okay. x

[@Autistamatic]

Hi PP. Thanks for asking. There's still plenty of LIFE™ happening round these parts, but I'm quite a bit stronger since this was made and making progress. Spending a few hours in the city with a friend like I did a couple of days ago, just wouldn't have been possible a few months ago😊

[@myworldautistic6839]

So sorry about Jimmy. 💙Huge hugs💙

[@marilynmackeen7377]

You said you wanted to make people a bit happier with your videos. I wasn't sure how I felt after watching this one, (alexithymia) so I used this neat little trick I've developed to reveal my emotions to myself: I sit quietly and wait to see what song pops into my head. It doesn't take long, and is very accurate. What song came to me? A simple Canadian pop song from the 70's : "Make my life a little bit brighter." And you do. Thanks Quinn😊

[@Autistamatic]

Chester? Just found it. Nice to be associated with such a jolly little ditty 😊 Thank you

[@thewildybeast]

Thank you Quinn, for understanding the importance of capturing an audience and connecting with them. Understanding about ourselves,is the easy bit.sharing that knowledge is the hard bit. It’s thanks to people like you who understand this are the people who should be allowed to flourish. It’s people like you that our community should be truly thankful for. Never forgetting just how hard it can be for people like you to do what you do. Thank you Quinn

[@willamthewisp]

Always appreciate your work.

[@katielykens2328]

As someone who blogs for the ND community and struggle with the same challenges of keeping afloat in real life - seeing and hearing your mental process of balance as well as your story of building your online presence helps a lot. Sometimes though if I go through burnout and can't keep up, I feel like I can't be a role model or write. Sometimes too it's hard to take feedback so I'm thankful for the example you set on adjusting to everyones sensitivities.

[@NoaWinds]

Hi Quinn, I just had wisdom teeth out in April, and even though it can be routine, no surgery is a simple ordeal. I can't imagine having to deal with that back to back with weeks of migraines and long covid. I hope your channel sees further success, your content for me is the most easily accessible for how I learn, and like many great autist advocates you have information and perspective here that is unique and invaluable!

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you. I knew wisdom tooth extraction could be hard at my age, but it surprised me. My dentist was great & the procedure itself went way better than I feared, but the recovery was way harder and more protracted than I expected.

[@mrsm6727]

Brilliant to see you back, Quinn, you have most definitely been missed! So sorry to hear your sad news and fingers crossed your luck turns round, we're all rooting for you 💪 Enjoy your long weekend and looking forward to the next video 💚

[@hank_430]

1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your traveling companion (that’s how I refer to my own cat) this past winter was her first real big health scare and “handling” the stress/anxiety/fear of losing her burned me out until spring. It put things in perspective and gave me the heads up how utterly destroyed I’m going to be when it does happen. Sending love and hugs 💜 2. To the quality of these videos - I wanted to share that I INSTANTLY can tell it’s your vid bc it FEELS like silk in my brain 🤣 like, you know the Charlie Chaplin clip of him being run through a bunch of giant cogs - that’s how the information in other videos feels like going through my mind 🤣 versus these videos (with no background music or shifting background visuals) is like butter on a hot July summer day: silky smooth 🥰😂 - thank you!

[@andreahalverson4547]

Glad to see you Quinn. I really appreciate all that you do for the autistic community ❤️

[@chrismaxwell1624]

Death of my dogs and cats impacts far more than when a human family members. That's so strange to me. I go into burn out when it happened with both my dogs and two cats In past 10 years.

[@bensabelhaus7288]

@ 3:10 OMG Yes. I understand. :hug:

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks. I'll talk about this period properly, once I've got some distance & perspective, because I've learned a great deal of value both to myself and maybe to others.

[@bensabelhaus7288]

@@Autistamatic At this point in life, if I you anyone wrote a book it would be considered extremist medical propaganda lol What? We can fix 80% of this guys issues by just emailing him? Fascinating lol

[@angustheterrible3149]

I'm so glad to see you return, Quinn. I can relate deeply to how you feel right now, and I hope that with time, rest, and above all, kindness to yourself, you will continue to recover from all that has happened in your life. I look forwards to more content from you. Watching your videos feels like "home" to me in a way I can not quite explain. The best I can do is to say that you speak of autism from a place that is warm and human rather than cold and clinical. The real, internal experience of autism is expressed through your words instead of being ignored in favor of outside judgements and preceptions based on the idea that we must be "fixed". I never wanted to be "fixed"- I like the way my mind works. Even though I experience the negative side effects of burnout, I enjoy the intensity of my passion for the things that interest me. I see that same spark of intensity in you, and it brings me joy to see it in another human being. To know that you feel the magic of it too. Thank you, Quinn, for all that you do, and all that you are, and will become.

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you for such a beautiful comment.

[@SeriouslyJaded]

Just watching this now. My sympathies for everything. Also in my 50’s, and sometimes life just seems to throw trial after trial at us without end. It can be difficult to keep going. I’m a relatively recently self diagnosed autistic and if it helps at all, I’ve enjoyed all the videos of yours I’ve watched. Keep well.

[@darke-minecraft]

I think us Austits feel the death of pets, and in particular cats, more than anyone else. As an Austust I've felt my relationship with my cats have been incredibly deep, and we always have a special relationship. In part because I think it's an emotional relationship that is easy to understand. Their needs are simple and the love they give in return is unconditional. Its a kind of relationship you can't have with humans, and the gratitude I have for those relationships is immense. I empathise with your loss, and understand why you felt it so difficult to talk about on camera. I hope its a relationship you can replicate when you're ready.

[@ianwiltshire-young4680]

Glad to see you again sir. Sorry about Jimmy, I know it’s really hard xx

[@augiegirl1]

Talking about comment-response videos; Steve Shives was the first Star Trek KZbinr that I subscribed to, & he describes videos like that as “Low Effort content, where 90% of the work is already done.”

[@Autistamatic]

When you actually do it for yourself, it's not quite as easy as he makes it sound😉

[@dancecommando]

I'm so happy to see you upload and I'm so sorry for the loss of Jimmy and all the health troubles you've been through, that's all so sad! Sending lots of love

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you. My life has felt rather too much like being a Weeble (TM) in the hands of an excited five year old. I'll keep bouncing back as long as I'm able 👍

[@Dtiic5iyxixg]

Great to see you back, released on international Star Wars day 😀, and while I wish you didn’t have to live this, I’m having some issues with work, diagnosis, difficult boss and transition - so the delay in release led to perfect timing for me ( and a smile when a I saw your storm trooper helmet this morning). Take care, and thank you

[@Autistamatic]

I thought it apt when I realised I'd be releasing on the 4th😎 Thanks for commenting & I hope your issues are resolved soon.

[@Dtiic5iyxixg]

@@Autistamatic your science and real life based videos have given me much better understanding, strategies and hope.🤞

[@Leleanor8]

Hello Quinn! I have been grateful for your videos for some time now! My wife is an Autist, and you've helped me understand some things that she couldn't quite articulate, or didn't even realize was different, or just didn't feel she needed to mention. You've also helped me understand myself and relate to her better, because although I am ADHD and not Autistic, I have a number of overlapping symptoms that have given me a little window into her experience. We can commiserate on some shared things (even as we pick apart how they are slightly different internally), and your insights have helped us communicate better, and helped me to be a better partner. I want to thank you! I hope that things get much easier for you and your family from now on, and I'm so sorry for what you've been through 💜 I realize it's cliche, but remembering the inevitable rise of the sun each morning has helped me get through some terribly dark nights. Sending you and yours lots of love.

[@micheals1992]

This is really random, but I found out recently if you apply an audio band pass filter between 1khz and 4khz to an audio sample of a croud of humans they sound exactly like a flock of birds. During an episode of mental instability I recently had I noticed bird sounds in human language. Its probably a coincidence of the air flow during speaking but birds are more sensitive to that audio frequency range. Birds are known to repeat sounds they hear in the world around them. Maybe we sound like birds to birds?

[@Autistamatic]

You know I'm going to try that next time I open Audacity, don't you?😂

[@micheals1992]

​@@AutistamaticIt was certainly interesting. It was during a period where I'd realised the world is a simulation by the brain and played around with my senses and world view trying to see things from a new perspective, I even temporarily rewired my brain to be synesthesic (it isn't the first time in my life I've experienced this). The world we see is a reflection of our neurological activity. Maybe I have heard something that isn't really anything other then a coincidence but it's still interesting. 😅

[@MrAndywills]

Am so sorry to hear about Jimmy. Sitting here, crying while listening. As someone who has always been around cats and dogs, I can understand the impact his passing has had on you. On a different note, I have no longer got hair to grow.

[@Autistamatic]

What's happening with your hair? If you'd prefer not to say here, email me. Address is in the channel bio info👍

[@MrAndywills]

@@Autistamatic mpb

[@tdsollog]

🥰 Thank you for being here.

[@myworldautistic6839]

Awesome Star Wars collection!!!

[@Stacy-s1s]

After a near death bout of pneumonia/sepsis,bthe madk just fell off and I've no ability or desire to try & stick it back on. In that respect that gealth crisis prived to be one if the best things that ever happened to me. I don't overtly act like a jerk around neurotypicals; instead i just say nothing

[@Cocoanutty0]

I’m so glad your channel-this video-showed up in my recommendations today. I had seen one of your videos ages ago and subscribed. And promptly lost it. KZbin wouldn’t show you in my searches, and I couldn’t find you in my thousand or so subscriptions. Today is a very bad day for me. I’ve been burnt out for over two years now. I constantly feel like I don’t deserve to feel so utterly incapable of life right now. Today my body has said “no more”. I’m stuck in bed, in pain, crying and angry. I may not feel better today, but I do feel better for having heard my struggles validated by your video. You helped me let out some of my utter sadness and feel a tiny bit lighter, just by feeling that I’m not broken nor alone.

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for commenting & I hope the clouds lift soon. Even though we may face our struggles alone, we're never the only ones struggling.

[@E.Hunter.Esquire]

3:00 - 3:21 I'm currently in autistic burnout and this exactly describes the experience of trying to explain to someone why you can't keep up the same 'functioning' standards they've come to expect of you, at work (but I suppose in life, in general, too). Another autistic person that has experienced AB would understand, but most people aren't that, and people in decision making roles, sadly, even less so. It's a huge hurdle and even just describing it to my therapist was dubious - I'm still not sure she really understands, entirely. Some people that have had the benefit of proper supports, throughout their lives, from a helpful and caring family, inclusive schools and workplaces, etc. may be quick to muse about this hypothetical version of autism, where it's 'not a disability but a difference' (maybe in tbeir case it's true), but that social model has the consequence of minimizing actual struggles that even the most 'high functioning' of us face. I may speak well, most of the time, but at this current point in my life, I definitely feel disabled and the 'D' in ASD is all too apparent, even to onlookers, lately. Obviously, in an ideal world, it shouldn't be like this. A lack of supports, unrealistic expectations from NT peers, outright discrimination, implicit ableism, able-fragility... all of that on top of normal, every day responsibilities makes for a potent poison that lends to a brain, mind, and body hangover that lasts anywhere from a few months to a few years to a lifetime. It's easy to say that someone is being unrealistically despondent, and tell them not to lose hope, when they say that things will never change. It's easy to point to small changes and victories, like being recognized as protected by the ADA, the month of April, and so on. However, the only way to truly change things is to eliminate the implicit biases that exist both in the culture and in the actual psychological makeup of neurotypicals (in-group out-grouping, self-serving bias, Dunning-Krueger bias, etc.). The first part is very difficult but not impossible, I'll grant that... but the latter, well, that's different. We could try to slap a bandaid on it and educate them about their biases, like we already do. Look at how that's currently working, though; they nod and then turn around and go back to business as usual, they click through computer training modules and complain about how long they are and immediately forget what it was about when they're done with them, they deflect by saying that they relate to our experiences but then never do anything to affect solutions or change, sometimes even outright ridicule us. It's not even a nature vs nurture, rather it is a nature plus nurture, in this case. Sure, there's been some progress, but I don't need to be a seer to know that these issues will never go away, so long as there are neurotypicals and autistic people sharing the same space, with NTs in positions of power. It's probably demoralizing for some to read this and I'm sorry for that. But at least it's realistic. Here's to at least hoping for some small changes, moving forward. Ps: RIP Jimmy. I'm really sorry, Quinn. I lost my rabbit friend, in 2022. It crushed me. Still grieving. I can relate.

[@Autistamatic]

Never apologise for being honest. Very well put. I don't think we'll always be on the rough end of society's stick, but we've a lot of work to do before we get there.

[@E.Hunter.Esquire]

@@Autistamatic you sure can say that again

[@Autistamatic]

@@E.Hunter.Esquire If you've thoughts on your experience of burnout (or how you got there) that you want to share, get in touch. Email is in the tabs above (best way) or there's forms on Patreon & autistamatic.com

[@E.Hunter.Esquire]

@@Autistamatic I will keep that in mind, Quinn.

[@joil6649]

The shaved head looks great.

[@AeonZhang]

Dark backgrounds are easy on my eyes. Sorry for your loss. ❤to Mrs Quinn & Yourself✨ ✨🫂🫂🫂✨ 💫✨🌟❤️🌟✨💫

[@millesorger6992]

Thank you for sharing your life and struggles with us, Quinn. You are a genuine soul and I always look forward to your videos. I am so sorry you've had it so rough the past few months. You have my condolences on the loss of your kitty. I've had to put to sleep more than one of my own throughout the years and know how heartbreaking it is. They are part of our families and sometimes our closest friends. My heart goes out to you. I wish you and your family the best and wish you much success with your KZbin endeavors. Looking forward to more of your videos!

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you.

[@augiegirl1]

@@Autistamatic Jessie Gender (who I only subscribed to after I learned that she’s autistic) lost her cat in January & posted a VERY touching video about it. The title is: To All the Moments We Had.

[@BlindZubat]

I’m legally blind. I always just listen to videos while doing other things.

[@Autistamatic]

I didn't realise how many blind or vision impaired viewers I had until very recently, but doing so has - if you'll pardon the pun - been quite an eye opener. If nothing else it makes me glad I've put effort into the sound quality. Thanks for commenting and for listening while you were doing something else 😂

[@BlindZubat]

@@Autistamatic There is a large overlap of people who are blind and visually impaired as autistic. Its one of those fun facts you don't realize until you are in the small demographic. Its helped me learn more about autism. Hence why I am here. As for the "its been quite eye opening" blind puns are the greatest thing in the world and no one will ever convince me other wise. Your audio quality is also top tier. Probably the best I have heard in a long time. It reminds me of a Discovery Channel documentary, before they started to suck.

[@Autistamatic]

@@BlindZubat After reading your screen name, I had a feeling the pun wouldn't offend😉 That overlap you mention is something I've been learning about at the same time & will cover at some point. Thanks for the feedback on the sound. I've started using a new sound processing tool recently so it's good to know it's working. When you've heard your own voice say the same sentence a hundred times over, it gets difficult to remain objective!

[@BlindZubat]

@@Autistamatic That makes total sense. Sometimes I will record myself talking about a subject for future conversations. Its hard to me to take notes and that way I can have an audio file to refer to if needed. I sometimes get so lost in the technical parts of the subject I am talking about though that I forget if it makes sense with lamen understanding of the subject. The objectivity can be hard sometimes.

[@Baptized_in_Fire.]

I can see but I do the same. As someone with auditory processing issues, I do appreciate the pace and the sound quality.

[@Broken_robot1986]

I had to delete my whole stupid ass joke comment after hearing about Jimmy. Idk why i didn't wait, you did warn us. Lots of love from me and my two girls! That's really not fair to lose a friend like that.

[@neurodiversityalumni]

Powerful video! Thank you for all you do, for your honesty and candor and especially for your taking time to share with us. Definately take care of yourself and your wife. That's where it starts, looking forward to more content as you are able. Great job!

[@matthewbucktrout3291]

Thank you for what you do Quinn, it does make a difference. I'm finally on a waiting list for official autism assessment and am trying to hold things together until then. it's an awkward situation really. I know they're overstretched, that they don't have the staff or resouces to go any faster, that there are loads of other people on the list, lots of whom surely have more problems than I do, but blimey, sometimes it feels like a sort of mental torture. Really sorry to hear about your cat. I love cats and know what it feels like to lose one who is a real friend. I'm watching the videos you're mking at the moment about making videos with interest because I'm looking at starting a channel myself. I don't feel legitimate, without an official diagnosis, to talk about autism, but I have a few other ideas i'm looking at for a channel. Perhaps, if I'm given a formal diagnosis, autism could be incorporated later in some way as I explore for myself what that means and how I can understand finally (I'm 47) who I am and that who I am is OK, or even pretty alright. I don't really know what it means to be part of a youtube community. Perhaps in creating my own channel I will find out. I've also tried connecting to various discord servers. Perhaps I just haven't found the right ones for me yet. I think there's probably a good dose of imposter syndrome (can't present myself as autistic, because I don't have a formal diagnosis) mixed with replaying of old narratives making me less willing to exgage with people - why would they want to hear from you? You have nothing interesting to say. You're a weirdo. You're not normal. You're a useless waste of space... Those sorts of things and a list of failed attempts at connection with other people make me less willing to stick my neck out. I will admit I haven't yet looked through your back catalogue, so maybe you've already done some videos on that, but I'm interested to leanr more about how people actually get through burnout. What actually helps aside from just waiting it out, or spending more time on special interest activities. Is there a role, or even a need, for medical help? Does antidepressant and or anti-anxiety medication help? At what point is it a good idea/necessary to go to a GP/psychiatrist/psychologist and when is it actually better to deal with things ourselves - I have trouble with doctors, being heard, trusting what they say etc and I like to try and sort out my own issues by reading books. I've read a lot of books trying to work out what's going on and have learnt a lot. Soemtimes I wonder if medication might be a helpful kick-starter to get me out of my funk/fog. But mostly, I'm just really, really looking forward to the feedback from my assessment, to find out if I'm right it my notion of who I am. That's a heck of a lot of I and me. There's a part of me who's telling me that's selfish and no-one wants to hear about me and I should just be commenting on how great your video was. So back to you, I like your style of presentation, I like your authenticity. I'm sure I'll find out how awkward lighting and such like is as soon as I actually start trying to film a video and make it presentable enough to post. And I undestand that not everyone will share my opinions anyway, my thoughts about your background would be that yes, I agree the dark background was great and today's video felt really bright to my eyes. I wonder if there's a compromise situation with lower lighting but still with the white background if that's what you need to use at the moment for technical reasons. But then, perhaps the simplest solution is for me to wear shades if I find the white too bright ;-) Anyway, enough rambing from me. Thank you again for your work, it's very valuable to the world and I really hope you make it work for you as a career change. Thank you for sharing why and how you're actually doing that, it's inspiring to hear what you have to say and to have an example of how someone can deal with a poop-splattered fan and rebuild things. Have a nice day :-) Matthew

[@strongdecaf3729]

Thank you ❤

[@SK-is2ux]

no not a bright white screen aaaaaaaaa😮

[@Autistamatic]

Next time I'll still be using a white backdrop, but it should look quite different & easier on the eye.

[@micheals1992]

I keep coming back to a really weird thought, that the universe is a black hole, we're living in the singularity 😇. Its bigger on the inside. Maybe the universe is a time machine. 😅

[@Autistamatic]

Anyone reading this comment without understanding autistic thinking would be scratching their head as to why they just read something so existentially loaded in response to a video with a turd in the thumbnail. To the rest of us, it's a day with a "y" in it.

[@stevenleffanue]

Cool outro cartoon character....which app or program you use to make it? Cheers from Australia

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for commenting. I drew my alter-ego character in Affinity Designer then rigged & animated him in Cartoon Animator 5.

[@turtleanton6539]

Great video😮😮😮

[@myimperfectlife2023]

I get regular migraines too. Mine have several triggers but some of my triggers are related to sensory overload. I'm wondering if this is a common thing for autistic people

[@MartKart8]

I prefer darker backgrounds, or backdrops as it's always been easy to view content, for me. Years ago, I knew a person that was 19 at the time, he was bolding at the side.

[@Autistamatic]

I received a delivery yesterday which broadens my options for the backdrop, so I hope the next film will be closer to your comfort zone 😊

[@cristinachaliandroi1369]

I like your videos😊😊

[@NitFlickwick]

Hi, Quinn. Sorry for the loss of your cat. Losing a pet is awful. There are very few humans who I feel connected to like my pets. One small bit of constructive feedback: your lights are a little bright on your face, resulting in details getting blown out and you kind of fading into the background a little. Reducing the intensity would make it a little more comfortable to watch.

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for the feedback. There's a specific reason why the lights had to be turned up a little brighter this time which will no longer apply following a delivery this week. If it comes in time then the next video will look quite different whilst still affording me the efficiency gains I need.

[@MundtStefan]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@bog6106]

As future ruler of earth, I will remember you when I become famous🙃

[@Autistamatic]

As a future subject, I totally ignore your status since as a non-heirarchical autist I can't acknowledge your mahoosiveness☺ Just rule over us wisely and none of us will have cause to point out where you could have done better, OK!

[@krugerfuchs]

Sending you a hug my cats can come over to mind you if you like

[@Autistamatic]

Cat cuddles cure many of life's woes 😻

[@Green_Roc]

I've come to the end of the video. "Be more KZbin" doesnt work well for me either. I'd like you to be more you. Sorry about your furry friend 😿