Autistic Meltdowns ARE NOT Temper Tantrums (Dr K/HealthyGamerGG)

[@tayzonday]

I was watching that stream and noticed this immediately- as an autistic who has experienced many consequential meltdowns.

[@Autistic_AF]

Hello 👋, I read some of your comments - just like many of us in the livestream chat, they were balanced and neutral and informative. P.S. I had to double-take your channel name, just to make sure! Pleased to make your legendary acquaintance! 🧡🫡

[@0jeej0]

Real life tay zonday 😮

[@anjellalo972]

Hi

[@EllyCatfox]

Thank you for sharing. ♥

[@babybirdhome]

Man, I didn’t know you were also autistic, but I suppose in a way it kind of makes sense? Anyway, good to have you in the fold!

[@kaylabeals8597]

I was timed out for pointing these things out on stream. He needs to refer to experts when the subject matter extends beyond his expertise

[@Autistic_AF]

Oh dear!

[@SewardWriter]

Sounds about right. I get timed out for, say, pointing out things that have happened to me, or that YT is inefficient and unfair with regards to user response.

[@samtinkle9076]

That's disgusting. I've flagged his video for "dangerous and repulsive content". From an autistic perspective, Dr. K has abused his platform because people trust what he says.

[@TheDeadSource]

Yeah, you can see quite a few such comments in the stream footage in this video correcting both his terminology and explanation, and those obviously go ignored at best. It's not a good look.

[@nicholasfigueiredo3171]

Are you a psychologist? If you are please give me your contact information somewhere.

[@LeslieT.]

It would be nice if Dr. K found out about this video and was open to know what he did wrong, take responsibility, and do better in the future.

[@eacalvert]

That is asking a lot of Dr. k

[@Matty-oc8db]

95% of people see "temper tantrums" and "meltdowns" as the same thing, and it didn't come off as blaming. I don't think the word choice was intentional or even consequential.

[@bakakafka4428]

The guy's making a bucket load of money kicking down at the one group he knows doesn't fight back. Like most "therapists" here on the internet. Autists are the scapegoat of them all.

[@applebutter4036]

@@Matty-oc8db I'm still struggling to discern the difference. Taking it straight from a dictionary - meltdown - a sudden loss of control over one’s feelings or behavior. Isn't that essentially what a temper tantrum is?

[@jandl1jph766]

@@applebutter4036 No. A temper tantrum is, ultimately, a means to an end - usually for a child who feels their needs aren't being met. It will stop soon enough if it either achieves its goals or clearly fails to achieve the desired outcome. A person throwing a tantrum is quite aware of what's going on. In other words - a tantrum is a manipulation tactic. A meltdown, on the other hand, is a complete loss of control and often awareness (at least to some extent) - it'll eventually stop on its own, faster if the situation improves. A person having a meltdown isn't trying to achieve anything in particular, beyond getting out of a massively overwhelming situation. The issue is that the two can look very similar from an outside perspective - which can make it tricky to distinguish, especially in people who can't communicate clearly beforehand. That doesn't excuse conflating the two.

[@AutisticlyRose]

Thats super sad to hear Dr. K have such outdated ideas on autism. I've listened to him on a few other things previously and now I'm questioning what he said more. I think as a psychiatric professional he has a higher duty to well research topics prior to presenting them and this shows that just isn't happening. I'm very disappointed.

[@jackoh991]

@@AutisticlyRose 100% agree. I hate it when I find out people I looked up to are not as informed as they make out

[@VioletEmerald]

He actually did a lot of research before this and similar with the deep dive asexuality stream, he's just not at all a true expert on these things so he needs to try, misspeak in front of autistic people, and get corrected in order to learn more of the nuances (same with other topics). He has to actually receive the feedback. He's saying mostly correct things in this but he's stumbling with vocabulary like temper tantrum vs meltdown but not just semantics of weird choice but missing the nuance of the meaning differences and failed to communicate enough about meltdowns. He communicated a lot of other good stuff in the stream though. He also kept tripping over saying ASD and Autusim Spectrum Disorder too much to the point that he'd awkwardly say "people on the autism spectrum disorder" which doesn't even make grammatical sense. It's like an ingrained doctor bad habit for him to include the "disorder" every time he mentions the autism spectrum. But he's trying and has grown so much since he first discussed the topic publicly. He's realized how many people in his audience are autistic etc. It's not as bad as you might think.

[@VioletEmerald]

It bothers me too. I wish he'd have an expert on to correct him in the moment

[@РайанКупер-э4о]

That happens when you start to discover some area that you didn't even touch previously. I think he will get better in the next video.

[@nate2838]

Unfortunately, I have to disagree with the statement that he hasn't well researched the topic of autism before presenting on it. The problem is, most research is done by NTs from an NT perspective, leading to the understanding that he has. Unfortunately, its only autism specialists or autists themselves that have a much more accurate understanding of autism from a professional perspective. This is so well known in the autism community that it only takes a short amount of time looking into autistic people talking about autism and their experience with mental health professionals to see the overwhelming pattern.

[@cubbucca]

My meltdowns are mostly triggered by being touched, when I'm near full burnout. If you restrained me, you're gonna be multiplying my internal pain, causing me to spiral into a deeper meltdown.

[@tiredko-hi-]

For real, I'm sad a lot of people don't understand I _don't_ want to be touched when I tell them I don't want to be touched. They think I'm doing some reverse psychology 😅

[@Sienisota]

Same. If I'm really close to burnout and tired, the only touch I can tolerate is one that comes from an animal. Even being in touching distance (with humans) is painful and I might become hysterical if am not allowed to be alone. I need to be allowed to leave if I feel I can't take anymore socialising.

[@profjbrown]

Same. I cannot stand to be touched when I'm stressed. And, even when I'm not stressed, touch often stresses me out. My family is very hug-oriented and absolutely REFUSED to stop hugging me no matter how many times I asked, begged, or "threw a temper tantrum" over it. I finally figured out that, if I initiate the hug, it is less traumatic for me. So now, any time I am in a situation where someone might want to hug me, I offer a hug to them. Which, amusingly, means a lot of people see me as hug-oriented. Like, no. I'm avoid-trauma-oriented.

[@dmanzawsome]

As a kid I went to the doctor very often . One month I had blood drawn over 10 times and spent half the month going to doctor's and I was just burnt out from the doctors. I then had a routine booster shot appointment but I felt so overwhelmed from the past month I could not calm down. And then they would not wait for me to calm down and tried to get a big nurse to hold me down for the shot and I almost punched the nurse.

[@SewardWriter]

​@@dmanzawsome Nurse would have deserved it.

[@nozhki-busha]

It's like listening to a doctor from 20 years ago talking about autism...

[@Autistic_AF]

Yes! This video could have been a short!

[@fartsinthewind]

My husband did a minor in psychology twenty five years ago and OMG, the way he talks like he's a practicing psychologist. I was talking to him about the possibility that I could have ADHD and he's like, "you're not (physically) hyperactive and you can really focus quite intensely on stuff when you want to". Uuuugggghhh. He really thinks he's a bit of an expert. Fortunately I did not marry him for his psychology expertise.

[@PurpleStuff-vb8jf]

Dr. K acknowledges that he is not as experienced on the subject as his other skillsets, but indeed the wall induced from neurotypicals not sharing the autistic experience is absolutely MASSIVE. My brother is a child psychiatrist yet does not know the first thing about how to handle his autistic son.

[@maikeruasmr8591]

Thank you so much! Autistic meltdowns are a horrific symptom that we go through. There is no catharsis, no goal and no malice in a meltdown. It's frightening to experience but thr aftermath is even worse. With how you are treated, you can lose your friends, your job, your reputation your freedom and sometimes even your life. Especially when abusers and police get involved. This is why accessibility and education helps everyone. Autistic people can recover from a meltdown and community as well and realize that meltdowns aren't a sign that an autistic person will be a danger to society but that they are suffering from an overload of overwhelm, demand and pressure.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Yes! The aftermath is so horrible. I once became homeless as a direct consequence of a meltdown and had to sleep outside for a week before I was able to find a couch to crash on. I was told the things I said and did during that meltdown were all intentional and malicious, done with the intent to maximize harm. They refused to believe that I was in a haze, that it was an out of body experience. I don't experience memory loss in meltdowns, but in instances like that, I wish I had. I was told the things I said during that meltdown were my "true hidden feelings." To this day, over 5 years later, I look back on that moment and wish I had the power to stop myself from saying what I said. So many burnt bridges from my past were destroyed as a direct consequence of a meltdown or being autistic in general. I was always accused of acting in intentional malice when I had been entirely unaware of the harm I was doing.

[@tiredko-hi-]

​@@nickmagrick7702 While correct, it doesn't mean that my goals or my body's goals align with my wants. I want to be calm, not have a head which feels so extremely bad I have no idea how to describe it, so the meltdowns of course help with that. But honestly I would love it if that was just me sweetly crying in a pillow or something, usually it's a lot more destructive and scary for myself and others, in my case.

[@PeppermintPatties]

💯

[@ashiningsoul449]

Exactly, all of this. I'm a lower support needs autistic person and I'm currently in college. I remember my first semester, It. Was. Rough. I had multiple meltdowns triggered by a single class, but thankfully for me, my meltdowns primarily manifest as crying and going nonverbal. I'm also going into the medical field, premed. I hope to really help and use my influence as I gain more to educate about autism and autistic people. There's still a lot of stigma around us, but thankfully I'm on a very welcoming and accommodating campus. I've met several other autistic people who've gone through similar struggles and I've never felt so understood.

[@isabellefaguy7351]

Autistic meltdown = overload (cognitive, sensorial, emotionnal, language, etc.). That has nothing to do with manipulation, which is what trowing a tantrum is all about. I would not know how to "throw a tantrum", even if I would like to, because I've seen neutotypical people do it with great results, obtaining what they want. When my brain is in overload, I can't think, let alone process new sensory information, understand what people tell me, talk to people, understand their thoughts/emotions so I can manipulate them. It's like when the computer is so overloaded that it just freezes. The only thing that helps is if the source of the overload is reduced (e.g. turn down sounds, lights, stop talking to me, etc.).

[@Roadent1241]

That's how I've tried describing it to dad. You can control a temper tantrum and have one because you're not getting your Magnum ice-cream one day. I have had multiple meltdowns since before and after I learned I was autistic in my late 20s and get them because he loves to fill the house up with coffee and curry or garlic or other nauseating food smells, but it's too cold outside to just have a window open which just adds to my discomfort. Since he got panicky about money he had me air-dry clothes which were soft instead of using the tumble dryer, which ruined them, and he wondered why I was uncomfortable all day every day and 'throwing a hissy fit' every two weeks when I could not escape discomfort and it just built. Too cold to not wear clothes as we didn't have heating at the time, everything was stiff and scratchy, he stunk the house up nevermind his BO...! But no I just have temper tantrums because I'm.... Wanting comfort and no smells. Not even nice or fake ones can linger or I'll have the same problem. We've kind of solved it by managing to get heating and finding me new soft clothes now he's stopped panicking but the smells are still an issue. I can't move away from him either because again money issue. Houses cost more than a heating system XD I've only recently stopped being a carer hence why it's just us two and we were tight on money.

[@edwardlulofs444]

Thank you for that explanation. That helps me.

[@edwardlulofs444]

I love that commercial

[@OddOtter707]

Then you get yelled at for being 'dramatic'.

[@jackoh991]

Agreed. And children can have both at the same time.

[@WheatFlakes919]

I see a lot of comments talking about how "his" views are so outdated. They are, but the issue is way bigger than Dr. K. He didn't just come up with this stuff himself. The vast majority of the medical field still holds these views, which, are up to date with the American psychiatric associations guidelines and procedures. The APA still has ABA listed as the first "treatment" for autism. They also don't mention anything about adult autism, and assume that all autistic people are children. I completely understand the frustration with Dr. K, but lets not forget the root of the issue. I'd also like to point out that Dr. K started medical school in 2010, and the understanding of autism at that point was way behind where we are today. Dr. K is a young psychiatrist who will likely change his views on autism, especially with response videos like this being made. But, the vast majority of psychiatrists are old, still hold these outdated (or even more outdated) views, and will never catch up with current understanding. I'm not saying this to excuse his behavior. However, its my opinion that the energy I'm seeing in these comments would be better spent directed at the systems in place that propagate this misinformation in the first place.

[@Autistic_AF]

Yes, we should be mindful of this, too. Good point.

[@JAMllostthegame]

Agreed. It's kinda unfortunate that Dr. K/HealthyGG's comment on this video to reach out for further dialogue got drowned out.

[@thesilverblack708]

This isn't the first time Dr. K has been called out for spreading misinformation about autism either. He previously stated that he believes the reason why there are more autism diagnosis's these days is because doctors are confusing the traits of anti-social behavior caused by extensive screentime: As that of autism traits. Except that psychologists would take factors like this into account. Because they have to rule out all other possible explanations before putting the lifelong diagnosis of "autism" on someone's permanent file. This is why evaluations usually take multiple sessions.

[@misspat7555]

I think that our world has become more fast-paced and overstimulating to average Joe/Jane, making it harder for neurodivergent people, who might have before successfully worked on a farm, or in a factory, or hunting, or self-taught fixing cars and other residential machinery (washing machines, tractors, radios, etc.), unable to support themselves as adults. We also may struggle with even getting through K-12 education, which also impairs our ability to support ourselves as adults more than it would have, say, 100 years ago.

[@owlfrogelephants]

He might be saying that taking account what you said in the second paragraph

[@shortbread445]

You'd be surprised what psychologists and other doctors should but won't take into account when diagnosing people. When they're already struggeling to take gender or skin color into or out of their assessment and misdiagnose women's heart attacks for back pain and black person's pains as hysteria and attention seeking, how do you think they manage to divert Aspergers with screen time as a soothing mechanism from neurotypical kids messed up by too much screen time?

[@PC_Ringo]

@@nickmagrick7702 so as an autistic you agree with the notion that any meltdown you may have I'd just a temper tantrum and not the manifestation of uncontrollable stimuli which may temporarily cause you to lose control because of your neurology? The medical model mindset appears to be strong with you, which is unfortunate.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

That's a bad argument, black people die literally all the time because doctors can't even be arsed to take their race into account, and women die all the time because they just get treated as men by lazy doctors Doctors are generally incompetent and the medical systems main priority is not making you healthy it's making money I don't think "all the autistic people" are just people with too much screen time but there's also zero chance in hell doctors take screen time into account when diagnosing lmao

[@kimcolter5036]

Having two children with autism I can definitely tell you there are major differences between a temper tantrum and an explosion of bottled up anxiety. Stimming definitely helps to relieve some of the anxiety if it can be done safely and doesn’t disturb others. There are signs to look out for before it happens but sometimes it does happen spontaneously.

[@kimcolter5036]

Also, I never use meltdown as a descriptor and definitely not temper tantrum, I feel it is more apt to say stressed out or having an anxiety attack as those descriptors are more accepting in todays society and can more easily understood by “neurotypical” persons.

[@ellem8990]

@@kimcolter5036 On the other hand changing wording ensures they never will learn/understand. I get if you need to deal with a lot of people asking or just staring tho, so I probably would try to find the easiest way to communicate aswell, a good chunk of them will forget about it anyway.

[@antbandd]

im happy they feel safe to express that around you and that you know the difference

[@jakke1975]

@@kimcolter5036 your children will feel it coming. You should teach them to go somewhere quiet where they feel safe then so it won't come to a meltdown. Meltdowns are pretty horrific during the event but also after - for the one experiencing it. Spare them from these horrors. A bad meltdown can be lingering for weeks.

[@Kamishi845]

@@kimcolter5036 YES. When I am about to have a meltdown/shutdown, it absolutely feels like I am about to have an extreme panic attack because my body literally can't handle all the stimulation anymore. All I want to do is scream at it to make it go away. I'm more of a shutdown than a meltdown person. Before I knew I was autistic, I would have called them panic attacks.

[@lordred9122]

I’ve learned to internalize my meltdowns because growing up if I was ever to have a meltdown the people who “raised” me would “give me something to cry about” To this day when I do meltdown people always wonder why I’m “crying” as you can imagine I’m sure The entire experience is triggering since I’ve also got some pretty severe PTSD especially around physical interaction. It frustrates me to no end.

[@ellem8990]

I'm not disgnosed with autism (I do have a adhd diagnosis), but especially after reading this comment I wonder if my "panic attacks" were infact meltdowns. Mainly because even when I described my panic attacks in the past to mental health pofessionals, I was always aware that what I was describing didn't fully fit the description of a panic attack and that's why a lot of the professionals seemed to prefer to find different words to describe them. Also I always got/get them due to overstimulation/being overwhelmed.

[@AutisticlyRose]

@@lordred9122 oh how that phrase floods back all kind of awful memories. I get it.

[@AstridSouthSea]

Oooh - that was my upbringing, and I have the same grown-up consequences

[@anniew.4467]

@@ellem8990 People with ADHD can have meltdowns that are characterized as an emotional buildup that eventually "explodes." It might have been the case if this description feels like it fits.

[@ellem8990]

@@anniew.4467 I suppose that's one way to describe it, thanks. Although I've always thought autistic people also in a way have an emotional buildup, because I percieve frustration/lack of ability to handle stimulation, leading to overstimulation, as emotional in part. Just for the record I'm thinking of overstimulation including also tasks and/or the failure to complete or start them, not just sensory stimulation.

[@NitFlickwick]

One of the most common traits I’ve seen with neurotypical spectrum disorder is the ability to know they don’t really know something but to be willing to spout off about it with complete self-confidence, no matter how wrong.

[@pasqualeperri5661]

That explains the mess the world is in

[@Autistic_AF]

😂😂

[@Sad_Bumper_Sticker]

“neurotypical disorder spectrum” 😸

[@NedInYaHead]

Speak for yourself bro, you know I'm a native Yapenese speaker and autistic

[@SewardWriter]

Good, I'm not the only one who thinks we're the normal ones.

[@havocsTeacher]

I hate when people do this! I'm autistic and my WHOLE LIFE people have told me I'm just "being dramatic" or I'm "throwing a fit" over things I cannot control!! And of course when I try to explain that I can't just stop having sensory issues (or other autistic traits) they refuse to listen to me and tell me I'm making that up too. 🙄🙄

[@shortbread445]

For some autistic people it's the two-step problem of being hyper sensitive and not good in social clues. If you want for people to have empathy for you you must either resemble them or be able to persuade them. The First can't happen as you are different to most people and they can't see themselves in you. The latter needs a lot of skill to know when to inform people in which tone about your condition. If you talk about your autistic traits in an arrogant or hectic/impulsive manner or at the wrong time, people won't trust you and take your explanation as an excuse / manipulation /lie. Especially those autistic people who sound very arrogant, are involuntarily belitteling others when they talk about facts will find very little sympathy when they talk about their vulnerabilities. For neurotypical people you can be a grand standing and looking down on others when it's about computing or trains and then turn around and demonstrate absolute inability to control your feelings. Also having an emotionally unstable person around is stressful for neurotypical persons. They'd rather you would keep your emotions and overflows to yourself just like you would rather they would keep their advise how you should act to themselves. By telling you to quit the act or stop the drama they were actually paying you a compliment. Their scolding is made while attributing to you the ability to control your emotions. They didn't know that you couldn't and they didn't trust you enough to believe you when you told them you had a disability to reign in your feelings.

[@tiredko-hi-]

​@@shortbread445 The first is possible, and I've been forced to do that. The people around me refuse to listen because they're convinced they're correct, so I must be wrong. I have equated my signs towards meltdowns as "me needing to recharge" or me being hungry, and with good enough communication skills they understand that I do need to leave them for the moment (as they are not helping at all).

[@havocsTeacher]

​@@shortbread445 not sure what you mean by this but I was talking very specifically about people being dismissive in regards to my reasons for having a meltdown (mainly sensory problems like noise or light). In these situations I've had more than a few neurotypical people tell me I'm not actually that sensitive or that I'm making it up. All I wanted to say was how annoying that is. Not sure where the arrogance thing is coming from.

[@Caprisunmoon]

@@shortbread445 you think being around an emotionally unstable person is NOT stressful?

[@YujiUedaFan]

Or even say "That's just an excuse".

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Hi there, sending you an email now. We are looking to collaborate with more folks with lived experience and/or expertise. Some fair critiques here and some unfair ones as well. Hope to continue the dialogue.

[@Autistic_AF]

Thank you, I’ll keep an eye out for your email. Appreciated. -Mike 🧡

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

finally, w move

[@derse1292]

I think people would be interested in knowing what criticism in the video was considered to be unfair. Considering this video is centered around creating discussion I'd like for y'all to share that reason so the audience can come to an understanding as well, especially considering a lot of the people who will presumably view this video are also directly related to the subject matter.

[@determineddaaf3]

Was hoping you would do this ^^

[@derse1292]

@@HealthyGamerGG translation: "We'll seek accounts of lived experience from an influencer but we're disinterested in any kind of dialogue with the broader autistic community." No shade to Autistic AF, very noticeable radio silence from healthygamergg to the rest of us who are curious about this. Tell us what you feel was misrepresented in the video, don't be cowardly and refuse to engage with other autistic people in the audience. The impetus is on you to reclaim trust from the autistic community, so speak up please, we don't need more deafening silence on your end.

[@Cassinova795]

I wonder why dr. K doesn’t bring on experts to speak with him on things he doesn’t know much about.

[@celinahuezo5518]

He had many autistic people on his channel. I've seen some that was three years ago. They are very good

[@thecatblaster5181]

he could have that doctor that talks about narcissism on? But maybe he knows enough about that one already?

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

@@celinahuezo5518 Not good enough apparently.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

He's not acting in good faith. He's a psychiatrist. They profit off of human misery. Think about it. Less human misery, less money for Dr. K.

[@G5rry]

​@@TheWilliamHoganExperience People do enter medical fields because they want to help people. No need for the conspiracy theory.

[@schizoanalyticOnion]

Being schizophrenic as well as autistic, I don’t understand how people can be so casual about the use of anti-psychotics. Those drugs are brutal, even in fairly low doses - Parkinsonism, akathisia and the near impossibility of staying awake are not to be treated lightly.

[@isabellefaguy7351]

yes, I cringed when he was saying he use them casually. Especially since there are studies that have proven that autistic people are much more prone to have severe adverse effects with most psychiatry drugs, and especially anti-psychotics. I'm frightened for his patients since I saw this video.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I had the displeasure of accidentally taking an anti-pyschotic, that shit is straight up evil, made me feel like I had a lobotomy or something really scary I can't believe we just prescribe this to people

[@jakke1975]

The last psychiatrist I saw prescribed me anti psychosis meds when I simply asked for a legal alternative for cannabis that I've been using for decades to calm me down and help with depression. I thought I was going insane after just 1 tablet, crazy stuff and imo criminal to prescribe to someone like me. I felt so violated... Never again!!!!

[@CuteCatsofIstanbul]

100% agree. The word brutal is such a correct word. When I was in a mental hospital (self injury being my main issue, diagnosed with borderline of course), I was given anti-psychotics and it was the worst time in my life. Instead of getting better, I was getting worse and I had ZERO control over my mind, my body. I already had 2 sleep disorders so even without them, I never woke up feeling refreshed in my life, so imagine my normal mornings, now imagine my 'mornings' with those brutal meds. Once out of the hospital, I decided to wean off of them on my own, I'd lie to my medical team that I was taking them and guess what they started to tell me within weeks 'oh, you are doing so much better'. This went on for 5 months. I finally told them I had been lying and that I was only on antidepressants. I remember one junior doctor telling me 'you would've gotten better much quicker if you had taken them'!!! Seriously? It's like doctors are brainwashed. 😿

[@fraktaalimuoto]

Yeah I was really shocked when I heard about the remark from Dr K. 😮

[@bigbaddave1095]

I've watched many of Dr. K's videos with mixed thoughts on his messaging. Interestingly, I've never really thought twice about his characterization of meltdowns as 'tantrums' because I'm just so used to neurotypical people using colloquial terms that they can wrap their heads around to describe autistic behaviour. But, like functioning labels, that is an ableist term and completely misleading to most NT folks who know nothing about autism and are too intellectually lazy (thanks to the comfort of living in a world designed by them, for them) to consider, even for a half-second, that autistic folks have very different experiences of life than they do. A couple of weeks ago, at work, I had the opposite of a meltdown... I got so excited about an idea that someone had proposed for a project that I ran with it, completely fleshed out the specifics, added considerations for future expansion, and emailed everything to the person that proposed it. This is the sort of project that has the potential to bridge the data gaps between so many areas of my organization while ALSO benefitting members of several marginalized communities and revolutionizing our industry in a way that completely harmonizes with our company's existing plans.... And I got called "difficult to work with" because my enthusiasm was too much and my vision was too ambitious and that it might actually make others feel stupid for not having thought of it... Clearly we have work to do in creating understanding among the masses, and people like Dr. K are well positioned to help, if they want to.

[@shortbread445]

If you don't want your condition of overflow being called "temper tantrums" then please also refrain from calling the state of not being concerned with everybodies special needs "lazy". As a society we've just barely begun to research and care about women as female human beings and not the smaller, weaker, more defective and illogical version of a man. And they comprise 51% of all human beings. Neurodivergent folks are maybe 5% of the population? And each of their special needs and wants are vastly different. So, having a disrespectful and arrogant demeanor towards the majority won't serve you well. Everybody masks and tries to fit in when they are in a group. Especially at the work place. This may be more difricult for ND Folks but doesn't mean that the whole NT group now has to revolve around your needs. Have a friendly NT co-worker proofread your email before you send it next time you're in a inspired frenzy. They can edit where you sound non compatible to the group and can't sell your ideas to NT people.

[@martinmckee5333]

I don't think I've ever done anything as ambitious and far reaching as what you described, but I've certainly had negative pushback as a result of a deepdive into a topic someone else suggested. Often it has beeh implied (and more rarely outright states) that I'm trying to make everyone else look dumb. I wish people could understand that I'd much rather be able to enjoy a night out with friends rather than be unreasonably obsessed with a project until 3:30am Sunday morning!

[@profjbrown]

Dr. K certainly won't, from what I've seen. (I unsubbed a few years ago because I came to that conclusion re: a different topic.) But hopefully someone like him will. Or maybe him saying ignorant stuff that he refuses to improve will accidentally help because so many people tag him. 🤷

[@Thalanox]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[@mothdust1634]

I get very enthusiastic too, and I have been having to learn to hold back because other people don't want to put in the same effort and time that I do. They would rather trash the project than to entertain the workload. I think their brains shut off when I drown them in information. At that point there isn't even any more discussion of the project because they feel overwhelmed, I guess, and so they don't even want to talk about compromises or a good time schedule that works for them. Just "oh well, we decided not to do it." I am studying finance so it's not that I am unaware of budget constraints, and I always work those calculations in so everyone can be happy. If I allow myself to get too enthusiastic, I get reprimanded for wasting time, but like most of my projects would increase efficiency over the long term :( I'm now trying to figure out a business model that works for me so I can just own my own business and work on my schedule which is very sprint and stop, and not a steady daily slog like others seem to favor.

[@G-3-A-R-Z]

Dr.K is nonsense. He really should never comment on stuff they know nothing about. Because of doctors like him, I was drugged up as a kid. Not positive for the long run.

[@Tormekia]

So I'm still in the "is this a panic attack or a meltdown" stage of figuring stuff out. I work for a social services agency that serves the disabled. I am disabled. I've told them I'm disabled. And still, they treated a panic attack like I just left work because I felt like it and my seeking help with my care team like I just wanted unauthorized vacation time. Yeah it's getting legally interesting. Sadly. So yeah. Even when it's a place where people are PAID to take care of the disabled and work with the disabled.... the amount of understanding and compassion given to those who have a full system **NOPE** is lacking. People just do. Not. Get. It. It's damned frustrating.

[@misspat7555]

Oh my. I’m sorry to hear this has happened to you. Unfortunately, even those who provide care and support services often feel THEMSELVES “above” needing such services and want to draw a firm line of distinction between “us” (the providers) and “them” (the recipients). We’re all just humans. I hope you get some kind of positive resolution to your work situation; a financial settlement, perhaps? I’d recommend seeking a new job once things are settled there, though. You’ll be a prime candidate to be “laid off” as soon as they think they can legally get away with it… 😕

[@shortbread445]

Because people can only look at your head, not inside it. You can have both, a medical emergency like a panic attack as well as a bad day at work and a desire to get home early. Difricult to say from the outside which one is which. Was you leaving voluntary or involuntary, they don't know. They would need to trust you and trust needs to build. My child can have both, the regular age appropriate temper tantrums to get his will. And the meltdowns from sensory overflow. I spend the most time with him so I think I can tell the difference. But even professionals or his dad can't tell the two apart and react not to him but to their own needs (when they've got the time and nerve they try to soothe him and when they thenselves are hard pressed or frustrated they scold him). When he gets older there will certainly come a time where he will use his disability as an asset until he learns that this is immoral and will hurt him in the long run. If your employer (the next employer) gets to know you as a reliable and valuable employee they hopefully will trust you when you tell them that you left for a medical emergency. If need be, find a GP willing to give you written attests to your condition when you call them once the symptoms have subsided. Some people trust second hand references more than your first hand account.

[@wmdkitty]

...why not both? And I agree, people who aren't living it, don't get it.

[@Ellie-gp9dg]

A panic attack is a state of feeling raw fear, usually feeling that you're going to get incurably ill, or lose your mind, or the world will end and nothing can stop it. It's a sense of impending doom along with the panicky fear. They happen spontaneously with no triggers. You might have meant anxiety attack, but in that case stop using "panic attack" and "anxiety attack" interchangeably because it's like using "apples" and "bananas" interchangeably, it's just not correct. A meltdown is a state following an overload of input in your brain to the point where the brain can't handle any more information and it goes into this power surge, like a socket exploding from being overloaded with electricity.

[@jackpijjin4088]

@@Ellie-gp9dg Ok, but what about a meltdown triggered by the overstimulation of a panic attack? Because that can and does happen.

[@minyakult]

I appreciate people that challenge misinformation and outdated bias like you. Thank you and keep up the good work!

[@Autistic_AF]

Thank you! I appreciate your kind comment!

[@leilap2495]

I am hopeful that Dr. K will take the feedback. I was watching the livestream too, and noted the same segments as glaringly lacking in the current scientific knowledge base. Looking at that example of a tantrum, I don’t recall my kids or myself ever having one. Regarding the low employment rate, regulations have loopholes that allow for people exhibiting autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent traits like circadian rhythm differences, executive functioning challenges, etc to be used as the official and supposedly appropriate reasons for them being fired. There is so much yet to be done.

[@misspat7555]

Exactly. Move slow because you have poor coordination? Fired. Show up late once weekly on average because of executive dysfunction? Fired. Ask for written instructions and insist you can’t change how you’re doing things on the fly from a barked verbal instruction due to slow information processing? Fired. Start crying and become nonverbal because all the loud noise and fluorescent lights are overstimulating you? Fired. Always go out to your car and turn off your phone during lunch break so you can decompress but also the boss can’t find you? Fired. Don’t lie about your achievements on your resume or make eye contact during the interview? Never even hired. Heck, average Joe has a hard time finding a job that will actually pay for a local one-bedroom apartment and keeping it these days, nevermind anyone who is in any way particularly disadvantaged… 🫠

[@LilChuunosuke]

Same here regarding tantrums! My brother actually threw tantrums regularly and my parents were VERY good at shutting those down. The thought of intentionally behaving in that manner just defied all logic even to my child brain. Acting out would only reduce my chances of getting what I wanted. Yet I've been accused my entire life of throwing temper tantrums by people who continually forced me to live beyond my body's means.

[@leilap2495]

@@nickmagrick7702 yes, you are right. I have meltdowns regularly, as do my kids, but we don’t have tantrums.

[@ellem8990]

@@nickmagrick7702 At best a temper tantrum is due to a kid being frustrated by not being able to communicate what they want/need. A meltdown is more about someone going over their "regulation window" and crashing. The cause and effect and the process are different. Also most people definitely percieve the word temper tantrum as a child being difficult and basically manipulating, I don't think autistic peoples meltdown should be viewed in the sane way. The way you react to a meltdown vs a tantrum should also be different, so I think there's plenty value in using separate words so that people don't misunderstand autistic people.

[@_D3mOnZ_F4LLinG_]

There are many videos already made about this video. He has not changed his outlook and ignored tagged videos. Dr k is not a very good person and refuses to admit being in the wrong

[@SOLIDbpm]

Previously have heard Dr. K being very naive on ADHD & ASD and have avoided since. No surprise at it again.

[@heli0ns]

I used to watch him quite a lot before, but it started to bother me too much how he often puts his own preconception over choosing to just not talk about something he's not very educated on. He's very opinionated and uses the same thinking patterns for many things & sticks to them even when people tell him it's not quite right.

[@shapeofsoup]

Dr. K seems utterly blinded by his ego. What’s scary is his ignorance is often only apparent to those who already know enough about the topic he espouses his bs on to recognize that misinformation. Confidence does not equal expertise. Education does not equal knowledge.

[@estreet83]

Dr. K did explicitly state in his video that he's not "by any means" an autism specialist.

[@shapeofsoup]

@@estreet83 Mike covers this in his video. It’s not an excuse for sharing harmful misinformation, especially as a professional speaking in a public capacity, not to mention from a position of such wide reach.

[@_D3mOnZ_F4LLinG_]

​@@estreet83 He shouldn't fucking talk about it then to an audience of 3 million

[@Quoxz]

@@estreet83 With his massive following and reach, he should probably bring on an autism specialist instead of being wrong.

[@gimemy2bucksback911]

Dr k is not blind by ego 😂 I’m certain he will make another video and correct himself after thinking on it.

[@Pjolter365]

It is just a sad reminder of the lack of understanding for Autism In the mental helt sector, although some practitioners are doing a phenomenal jobb and more people are being recognized . Thank you again for making good videos and being weary respectful and empathic as allways Mike🙂.

[@laurah2831]

Omg this needs to be THE educational video for healthcare workers / the public. Plus that restraint scene - I can’t imagine anything more traumatic for women, let alone anyone in distress, than a man lying on them non-consensually

[@isabellefaguy7351]

Couldn't agree more. I do have PTSD because of police and hospital restraint happened a few times before I had my autism diagnosis (only at 37). Chemical restraint can also induce PTSD by the way, especially when it's not what's needed in the situation and given at way too high a dose and after you already have PTSD because of physical restraint...

[@TempoTronica]

For most of my life, I thought I had anger issues. My parents told me it was anger. So I associated anger with pain, self harm, and other such issues. Not knowing what a meltdown was had a huge negative effect on both me and others around me. It made it very difficult to actually deal with the issue. Learning what a meltdown was, and linking it to my past, helped me to deal with the issue.

[@tealwolfmoongoddess8753]

My son is autistic ( and I'm currently in process of being evaluated myself). It was so easy for me to see how my son's meltdown were not tantrums. I argued with family members to just pay attention and see how its beyond attention seeking behavior... Its out of their control at that moment. I learned what signs were there before it happened to see if I could calm the situation before it got to the point where he melted down. I understood because I'd been in his shoes sort of... I have melted down, shut down and burnt out. Tantrums don't give you a "hangover" period after... Its frustrating when people can't understand the differencs

[@plutoniumlollie9574]

Wow, his views and wordings felt so offensive... People like him are the reason why I feel uncomfortable to unmask in public 😒

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

Yup. This is an opportunity to educate him. I've posted a couple of comments. every autistic person do the same.

[@PClanner]

This is asked with respect for what you go through. Could you try something and see how it goes - listen to his words again and feel no emotion about them? Could you try that? It requires you to mentally step back and believe you have a choice to react. Love to know if you can.

[@plutoniumlollie9574]

@@PClanner It's not easy, but I will try it. First I need to get in a better head space, because Dr. K's condescending attitude triggered something in me, and to be honest, I'm not so keen on listening to him again 😅 Especially when I think about how many people out there are this way. But I see how powerful a positive outcome of this exercise can be. I will let you know! The love and support of this community is amazing. Thank you for that ♥️

[@OddOtter707]

He's making Autism the new enemy for his channel. It makes him money after all.

[@snappleandcats8045]

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time. Dr. K has also referred to both ME and POTS as psychological conditions caused by anxiety and I tried to kindly correct, but it stayed up and was never corrected, despite this rhetoric being dangerous to those communities and against current science on these disorders.

[@ItsAllNunya]

@@snappleandcats8045 that he's said that makes me loathe him fully and completely.

[@steggopotamus]

I thought he had a more nuanced approach, that it isn't "all in the head", but it's a dual component of physiological components and mental components. And the more I think of it it makes sense, because (among other reasons) the body uses the same neurochemicals to regulate the body as it does to regulate thoughts and emotions. So it's inextricably intertwined. I haven't watched that video in a bit though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it took him a while to get to the point and it wasn't super clear.

[@snappleandcats8045]

@@steggopotamus that's his approach to what's currently labelled as "psychogenic illness" of which ME and POTS aren't part of. And he stated that POTS is due to anxiety, something I couldn't even find a misleading source claiming and don't know where he learned that. He never provided sources for either of these claims as far as I remember. It's not the first time I noticed scientific inaccuracies either, but my memory is shakier on his other claims and I don't want to go back through his catalogue, but I would be a lot more skeptical of his stuff in the future and thoroughly check his claims if you listen to his stuff because it does seem to be becoming a pattern.

[@steggopotamus]

@@snappleandcats8045 alright, I'll keep note of it and see if it comes up again. It feels like something he might have said.

[@melinnamba]

Do you remember in which video he said that? Or can you narrow down the time frame when, or something? I currently have mixed feelings about Dr.K. I like his content and found it quite helpful, but I did notice a few icky statements myself. His video about asexuality for example is a bit of a mixed bag. I can't quite tell yet, whether that's because he tries to present himself in this "look, I am the cool uncle and I get you" way, or if there is more to it. I am still compiling evidence before I make up my mind. But saying ME was caused by anxiety would be a pretty big mark against him. Two of my loved ones currently struggle to get a diagnosis for ME, they both have all the typical ME symptoms, but doctors refuse to make a clean differntial diagnosis. My best friend recently got told it can't be ME, because it's a somatication disorder. The reason the doctors gave was basically "trust me, I am a doctor". Pushing ME into a purely psychosomatic corner is so dangerous, because it leads to activating therapies, that can severely worsen the symptoms.

[@alecogden12345]

I hope Dr K sees this video or something because I like the majority of his content and I think he's a great psychiatrist doing a lot of good out there, but he still seems to pathologize and completely misunderstand autism, which is kind of ironic because he has adhd (or "subclinical adhd" as he puts it). We should be on the same team 😉

[@Autistic_AF]

@@alecogden12345 one of us?

[@alecogden12345]

@@Autistic_AF Yes? (Sorry, not sure what you mean 😅)

[@Autistic_AF]

One of us = Neurodivergent ☺️

[@steggopotamus]

It's my hypothesis that: the part of him that doesn't fully consider the consequences of his "subclinical" adhd that causes all the overconfident, poor word choice, and reckless issues. He needs to recognize that his short term decision making is going to be bunk, he needs to be careful that he's not glossing over stuff. And probably slow down his content schedule so that he can better fact check his work.

[@maddestG1]

Well hes a Psychiatrist not a Neurologist. These specific things are treated Neurologically not Pathalogically… its not in his profession to chime in from an understanding POV as its not going to be his area of expertise like Mental Illness is his area. Sometimes there are connections between Neurological and Mental Illness but this is ultimately due to how a person is dealing with their own life both biologically and mentally as well as maybe some indicators of genetic expressions due to changes in their environment or relationships in their environment rather. Some people can be born or develop a certain way over time and its really just because people are going to be that particular way as a response to the way world is. Honestly theres too many factors and we are still just scratching the surface on any of this and for all we know how we are trying to treat people is probably a mistreatment due to the negative longterm affects for a tradeoff of sedation.

[@stephenie44]

I know I’m perseverating at this point, but when Dr K calls flapping and echolalia low functioning traits, it brings tears to my eyes because I am functioning so much better now that I allow myself these joys on a daily basis.

[@HaakonOdinsson]

Yep, temper tantrum, attention seeker, drama queen, I’ve been accused of these…they don’t have a clue. It bloody well hard

[@anthoantho1989]

You missed hypochondriac.

[@misspat7555]

@@anthoantho1989Lazy! Defeatist! Bad attitude! Oh, and my dad liked “basket case”; bitterly ironic, given he transmitted his AuDHD twice-exceptionality to me wholesale… 🙄

[@HaakonOdinsson]

@@misspat7555 oh yeah, lazy, defeatist (although they use the term “give in too easy”…and I’m here thinking, what? I’m putting ALL my energy into it, I’m giving 100%. I’ve been called weak, same thought process as being defeatist…God, these people have no clue. When they say I’m lazy, I think in my head “I’m not lazy, I just don’t have any energy left, I’m burnt out”. If I actually voiced that to them, it would go over their heads. It’s hard. Thank you for commenting, it’s quite validating. I hope life is treating you much better these days and you are doing well. 💪🙂

[@HaakonOdinsson]

@@anthoantho1989funnily enough, I’ve not been accused of being an hypochondriac…….yet. Well not to my face anyway, so yeah they may think it or say it privately, but not to me…yet. They may word it different, or use “read between the lines” language (I find it really difficult to read between the lines stuff). Yes I have mental illness, trauma involved in the mix, and that isn’t really a good mix to have with being on the spectrum. I certainly don’t over react when it comes to mental health, it’s very real, it’s not a pleasant place to be in, it’s not irrational, it’s fact. Thank you for commenting. Best wishes to you….I hope you aren’t going through too much of this dismissiveness (that’s how I view being called these things, hypochondriac, lazy, drama queen, temper tantrum etc - dismissiveness)

[@HaakonOdinsson]

@@juniper_jumps6610 I feel this. Sorry for jumping in

[@mmortensen5598]

When my daughter is having a meltdown, I’ve tried explaining to people my daughter is not melting down because she isn’t getting what she wants. She has tried that, but it’s different and she’s learned not to go there anymore. It’s a no go. This meltdown is more what a neurotypical person might do at a car accident where someone they love has been seriously injured. It is being overwhelmed by the situation and frequently not having control over the outcome. Unfortunately, they usually look at me like I’m an idiot and of course xyz can’t cause that intense of a reaction. 😫 The lack of empathy in many of those that are supposed to be better at empathy is truly amazing. Luckily, there are exceptions to the rule. My sincerest thanks if you are one of those exceptions.

[@KF75411]

My friend went to his doctor to talk about his OCD behavior. The doctor said "Are you able to leave the house? Yes? Then you're good." Then when someone harms themselves (the permanent way), people always say "Why didn't they tell anyone?". That's why. Good mental health care is extremely hard to find.

[@moonpearl4736]

In the US we say "throws a fit" rather than "kicks off"

[@Autistic_AF]

That seems worse, somehow!

[@misspat7555]

There is also a term specific to the Black community, “falling out”, which definitely describes the act of throwing oneself to the floor! 😅

[@Goldfish_Vender]

I laughed when he said kicks off because I understood that to mean dying.

[@thepuma77]

@@Autistic_AF Kicks off sounds like someone died.

[@gigahorse1475]

I like “kicks off” better!

[@PaulaRoederer]

Dr. K should never be allowed to treat autistic people, unless he is willing to do the work to be qualified to do so. This video makes it clear that he is as qualified to give therapy to an autistic person as a veterinarian is to do neurosurgery on a human. He comes across as arrogant, dismissive, and ill-informed.

[@OddOtter707]

And he makes bank telling his narrative to the populace, while the rest of us get told we're being dramatic.

[@RedAngelSophia]

I am not a gamer - but I _also_ prefer the term “spell slots” over “spoons”. That’s because calling it “spoons” is too confusing to those people in your life that you have to explain Spoon Theory to over and over again. You know the type I’m talking about. Somehow I think it would be a lot less confusing if we used the term “spell slots”.

[@Autistic_AF]

Yes! Spell slots also have the mechanic of upcasting or doing a simple task (cleaning and tidying the kitchen) but using up nearly all the available energy because it’s been cast at a higher level. 🪄 ✨

[@RedAngelSophia]

@@Autistic_AF - Any chance we could actively push to have the terminology changed? If such a push is made and turns out successful - it would make it sooo much easier for sooo many people to explain things to important people in their lives.

[@RedAngelSophia]

@@Autistic_AF - Maybe you could start by making a video on why “spell slot theory” is so much better a terminology than “spoon theory” -- so people can link to that video when advocating the new terminology.

[@tiredko-hi-]

Warning: mentioning of self harm. stay clear if you're uncomfortable with that. My meltdowns usually involuntary includes me pulling my hair, pushing my nails in my body, and slamming my head against a wall, made out of wood, stone, whatever hard. I do not want to hurt myself, but it has come to that. Thanks to family and professionals that meant well, I can't stim properly anymore as they forcibly stopped my stimming with orders and physical force. Meltdowns isn't a "temper tantrum". I'm not throwing a fit, I can't _just stop,_ when I have a meltdown it means my brain literally can't handle more _stuff._ In later years I have managed some more healthy stimming, but it doesn't vibe with me anymore. My most important one, the 'mini shutdowns' I did by lowering my head and zoning out now causes distress instead. Dr. K calling meltdowns "temper tantrums" is not very upsetting, it's extremely upsetting and I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it. I'm here fighting to the best of my ability to not harm myself or totally shutdown for the next month, and he dares reduce it to a mere tantrum in his head? and make others think that 'yeah it's just a tantrum, he can't regulate his emotional'? absolutely sickening. Edit: I thought I should mention something. I'm totally fine and have my own set of strategies to deal with my current state. I have thick skin which reduces a lot of stress, and if some situations cause too much stress I get away from them, social expectations be damned in those moments.

[@tiredko-hi-]

I hope no autistic child will be hurt as a direct consequence of watching his uninformed and downright harmful explanation of "autism", but knowing his reach, that is inevitable. Actually adults too, I hope no person is hurt by his incompetence.

[@nate2838]

@@tiredko-hi- People WILL be hurt. I guarantee there are people who don't know any better looking for information from a professional to help them understand the autist in their life, and this will be used as information in how to handle and view how the autist reacts.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I'm so sorry you've been through this. I know you said you're fine and have strategies to manage this, but I wish you all the best. My stims were also forcibly suppressed as a kid, but I thankfully learned how to cope by doing small, easy to hide ones that my parents didn't seem to notice or deem abnormal enough to correct. I'm very thankful I retain an extremely minimal degree of control over my body when in a meltdown, just barely enough to redirect from the more extreme dangers I'm capable of percieving in the moment. I've come extremely close to doing substancial harm to myself, but was able to redirect at the last second to screaming, crying, or fleeing. Its really scary. I hope you continue to find healthy ways of stimming and find a safe outlet that feels right.

[@Amazology]

Social dictats vs Bodily requirements. I think the stresses and demands of the social made on the innate capacities of the body and mind, which all people suffer from, gets outsized, amplified, jacked on steroids etc. for Autistics. It's a predicament.

[@Strattaify]

I hate that I self harm during Img melt downs. I try to start with nails in skin or biting my lip or skin somewhere but if it escalates I hit myself. Hard. In the arm if I can but a lot in the head. My partner thinks I do it to upset him and for attention. But he doesn’t understand it’s not my meltdowns are specifically triggered when the people around me use emotion instead of logic in a situation and refuse to use any logic, even if I try to add a motion into the equation. and I understand that it’s probably hard to be with someone who cares so much about facts and logic but it’s not trying to upset him or anyone. Literally, the pain of hurting myself by hitting myself in the head is less than the pain of someone yelling at me about things that are, trivial and not fact based

[@cherenkov_blue]

I watched exactly one video by Dr. K and found it severely lacking in accurate information. It was a video on ADHD, and his advice basically amounted to "get gud lol". He briefly explained how the condition affects the brain, but then went on to act as if overcoming it was as easy as "applying yourself more" (in a similar way to how teachers often condescendingly imply that students with ADHD simply lack motivation). The whole thing came off as a therapist talking down to his patient.

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

I blocked him from my recommendations a long time ago for this exact reason. It's even right there in his thumbnails and titles, all sorts of guilt trips and negativity.

[@noodleswamp2060]

@@user-yv6xw7ns3ome too! im so glad im not alone in this. I found some of his advice more harmful than helpful, guilt tripping is a great word to describe the way he talks about some of the subjects he covers.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Oh yeah, and he sees fidgeting as a problem, because he thinks that means I'm not focussing, when it's the exact opposite, if I'm not fidgeting but only looking at a lecture I'm not retaining anything that is being said, I'm completely lost in thought and might as well not attend at all. But it's the fidgeting that is bad.

[@JeskaDax]

As a disabled combat vet (100% rated due to severe PTSD), and an AuDHD person, if someone tried to restrain me like that if I was having a meltdown, they are literally risking their life for zero benefit. Because in that moment, I am not in control of myself, and if I feel trapped, I WILL end them if I can. Sure... I will definitely feel bad about it once I have regained myself, but in the moment, the best thing to do is just talk calmly to me, and listen to whatever it is I say I need. If I say I need to be left alone, then that's what I need. If it's a drink of water, a fan to be turned on and pointed at me, a weighted blanket... Whatever I say I need is what I need. Don't guess, just ask and then LISTEN.

[@noonghazi]

I honestly can’t thank you enough for this video and I’m so grateful that I got to watch it. After his livestream I honestly hated myself so so much for being autistic/ADHD and absolutely grieved. Your video might’ve brought me back a little. I couldn’t think for myself to realize how damaging it is to think of autism in a pathological context. I think I now know more. What’s crazy was that I was about to send that video to my therapist thinking this was a good representation of my “symptoms”. I don’t have symptoms. I’m not sick. I’m not an alien. I’m just Autistic. I honestly still hate it so much for all the hardship that I went through and still have to go through, but it grounds me to think that I’m not alone and that I could love myself regardless. Thank you so much

[@sharellfox-ralston1958]

use left a comment be fore i read yours. I know my daughters autistic I've never ever thought she was crippled at all. But the people she had to be in contact didn't care she was give an excuse for poor behaviors and not truely held responsible for her own being ,her owners. So shes a mess. But I know she can think straight. And I believe you are there to.

[@ellenthecat9215]

Block that guy a long time ago. He pathologize the link between autism and gender non-binary rather than autistic people may just have the advantage to realize gender rules are arbitrary. Thank you for debunking his other shit take!

[@_D3mOnZ_F4LLinG_]

Dr k has always appeared like an ultimate narcissist catering exclusively to a right leaning young male audience. He is so outdated or wrong in some of his videos that it is borderline deliberate negative portrayals of minorities just because he doesn't think they're as human as himself in some way. That's how he has always come across to me

[@Sad_Bumper_Sticker]

Eeek. Glad I stopped following him before that video.

[@Caprisunmoon]

Its an opinion, just like yours, gender rules have nothing to do with being non binary lmao u can be masculine and still a female

[@_kaleido]

@@Caprisunmoon I think the point that the original commenter was making is that autistic people might acknowledge and accept that more easily

[@Caprisunmoon]

@@_kaleido autistic people tend to not feel a certain gender because of how they relate to others, their perception and personality, which is directly impacted by their condition. I believe stating there is such correlation with asd is fair.

[@misspat7555]

I suspect “temper tantrums”, as we call them in toddlers, may START as “throwing a fit” to “get their way”, BUT, as they may feel they NEED what they are being deprived of, and the emotions quickly escape their control (because, you know, toddlers and all), they end up in a meltdown situation, even if they will not turn out to be neurodivergent later in life. Think about the progression: our brain tells us we need something; our environment deprives us of it; we do everything in our power to overcome the environment and get what our brain is screaming that we need, anyway; our efforts are futile; we meltdown. It all comes down to our likelihood to need something we are deprived of (more likely in the neurodivergent) and our ability to serve our needs through a variety of strategies. I watched “Healthy Gamer” a bit at one point, but had to stop because of his persistent “hoist yourself up by your own bootstraps” mantra. 😑

[@glaceRaven]

This is a really good way of looking at it! tbh as an autistic person I always assumed that that was basically what adults called a "tantrum" was; like, there's no freaking way that _any_ kid is actually enjoying that and doing it consciously and deliberately, regardless of neurotype. That just always seemed like the adults around them projecting and refusing to look at it from the kid's perspective. The desire to be heard and understood is a fundamental human drive, after all. While it's true that kids must learn that they can't get their way all the time, as well as better emotional regulation, it could still be treated with a bit more understanding from the adults in their lives rather than simply being written off as them being "purposefully difficult."

[@buttzpoopindowski6851]

I think a main issue is that when parents deny things like the candy in the first video, they just say no and say it's because they are the parent. To autistic kids, who tend to not value authority over autonomy, they don't understand that logic which causes distress. It's exhausting to explain why Everytime, think critically how to distract them and managing their emotions about candy seems trivial, but dealing with a kid in meltdown is way worse on all ends. So, do the upfront work to prevent it as a parent. Don't just rely on what your parents taught you about parental authority. As an autistic woman, all my meltdowns are from things I cannot control that are unfair and harmful to me or a loved one. If you explain the logic of the unfair treatment, show me where I have control, or try to manage harm caused in some way, I can pull myself out of it most of the time before it's a full blown problem. If you tell me to suck it up with no explanation, it's like you kicked a hornets nest in my brain and someone is 100% getting stung. Most of the time it's just me that gets stung, but sometimes it's them too. Therapy helps the murder hornets become honey bees, but it still hurts.

[@misspat7555]

@@buttzpoopindowski6851For reference, the “explanation” is generally “Someone with the power to hurt other people badly, such as making it so they don’t have housing, wants us to do it this way because they think it makes them more money and at any rate makes them feel like even more of the big cheese, the top dog, the queen bee, you get the idea. No one is willing to stand up for you because that could mean BECOMING you (the one at the bottom of the totem pole; the scapegoat; the fall guy; the one not making rent this month; you get the idea). Sorry not really sorry, I can still afford to eat healthy now.”. 💰💰💰

[@darcieclements4880]

Yes and I think in the US the term tantrum is used more frequently to actually mean a meltdown rather than a manipulation technique. I have encountered people who think that all tantrums are manipulation techniques but they aren't ones who actually had children. Look at the reaction from the kids point of view. They're exhausted and they need things but they don't have a good way of articulating what they actually want and are still trying to understand themselves what their body is telling them they need so they just latch on to something and freak out. There can be a transitional point where the meltdowns start to become a manipulation technique if the parents aren't paying attention to the difference between the two or aren't trying to get to the core problem when their kids have a meltdown and instead just do a superficial band-aid fix, but that doesn't mean all tantrums are meant to be manipulative and I would say pretty much all of the ones I've ever seen in real life personally have been meltdowns. I think I did the manipulation thing once and only once in my life and it was only half manipulation because I was so exhausted I just wanted to go home so the tantrum was about not wanting to still be in that store, but the solution was to just pick me up and leave immediately when I was expecting it to be an argument. Apparently no one could even understand what I was trying to say😂 after that I realize it probably wasn't a cool thing to do because it was very embarrassing for my family and I did never do it again.

[@Thinkcrown]

The, “this isn’t medical advice” meta of healthcare workers, giving medical advice, needs to change. But how…? Nothing changes timely with only an idea of the problem. We need ideas for solutions.

[@OddOtter707]

Nah. Dr. K just wants to make us the bad guys in society. He picks and chooses which group of individuals he wants money from.

[@monicajacobe878]

You are such a wonderful voice for autistic people. I love the way you present such well-researched and thoughtful information. I am not sure why this doctor who claims "not" to be an expert on the topic would even do that show. Many people just need to stay in their lane. Thank you.

[@Autistic_AF]

I don't know about that! You're being too generous to me. I'm my own voice, one autistic guy amongst many others! Thank you for being here! 🧡

[@shortbread445]

If everybody just stayed in their lane the neurodiverse community would be without allies. Give the neurotypical people some slack when they try to come to grips with neurodiverse presentation and try to find similarities to their experiences. If you shut them down (instead of correcting them gently and gracefully) for using the wrong words or for missing some points you won't get the message that you guys exist and need accomodations for your brains out into the NT world. Dr. K has a broad audience and serves you better informing those a little than not at all.

[@monicajacobe878]

@@Autistic_AF One voice, yes. But a really good one. Accept the compliment my dear.

[@marilynmackeen7377]

I am autistic. The frustration and anger I feel at DrK's manipulative ignorance and invalid conclusions are very painful to me. 15 years ago, in France, in my autistic daughter's school, "wrapping" was proposed as an effective treatment for autistic meltdown. Hoping you've never heard of "wrapping" , I'll explain : they take bed sheets, soak them in water, put them in the freezer to get really cold, then, by force, they wrap the person having the meltdown in these freezing wet sheets. They found that this calmed the meltdown, and could help in preventing future ones. The horror I felt when I learned that people actually did this to other people resurfaces when I hear a person with power talking as DrK does.

[@jackoh991]

I think I'm going to be sick😮😢

[@supercurioTube]

Oh damn, I've watched and found useful a bunch of Dr.K content in the past but after watching the intro, I'm very disappointed he's using not only the wrong technology but also therefore mixing up completely different concepts. Adding that to my watch later, thanks for the notice already.

[@supercurioTube]

Oof, that was significantly worse than anticipated. Dr.K has talked a lot about ADHD for years. I think that we're really understanding now how extensive the overlap between ADHD & ASD is, with many people having a combination of traits from both. In my local community, every adult who seeked diagnosis for ASD also got ADHD and vice versa, and it checks out when examining how they landed there. I'm sure there's a sample bias but still. It means Dr.K really has to upgrade his knowledge, publish corrections and then do better on Autism, just to cover ADHD correctly at the minimum.

[@Orangeisgreat383]

Once I got a meltdown in IKEA because I couldn’t find the exit from the top floor. Lol.

[@martinmckee5333]

I've never been to IKEA because it sounds like it would absolutely lead me to a meltdown. Shopping in stores I know well, and can leave easily, is difficult!

[@Caprisunmoon]

While you could just ask someone? Smh... Problem solving skills are 0 for autistic folks i suppose.

[@christinabaswell6004]

They are basically designed like a one-way maze so you have to see every department.

[@Caprisunmoon]

@@Orangeisgreat383 just ask? smh

[@NoiseDay]

I can only imagine IKEA has a higher rate of meltdowns compared to other businesses

[@darkstarr984]

I’m going to an Autism Speaks event in a couple weeks and plan to be completely visible and unmasked there, and talk, if confronted or questioned, about how much Autism Speaks has caused people to decide I can’t possibly be anything other than “normal” because of (a list of all my autistic traits).

[@normanclatcher]

Best of luck at properly Speaking™ to 'well-meaning neurotypicals pathologically yapping.'

[@jackoh991]

Good luck please give us an update. Stay safe

[@SnowySpiritRuby]

How did it go?

[@shapeofsoup]

The Dr. K/Autism Speaks comparison is spot on.

[@ErinStearns]

I have an autistic three-year-old. I am so glad that I have found this channel. It just helps me to understand her. I am terrified of people like Dr. K tbh. Thank you so much for this video.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

I've tried to watch Dr. K Really tried. I cannot. He seems to advocate for neurodiversity, but from an ableist perspective. Words like "treatment" instead of "support" give this away. He shoots from the hip, speaking in the a rapid-fire style of a car salesman. He also pushes his coaching materials / workshops or whatever, which is a conflict of interest in my opinion. He's a psychiatrist with a huge channel. Does he really need the money that bad? if so, something's wrong. The biggest tell that he's full of shit is certain he is that he's not full of shit. If there's one thing I've learned in my 60 autistic (savant?) years, it's that the surest sign that you're dealing with a con artist / quack is that they express absolute confidence in their opinions. He is of course wrong about autism. As ignorant as any neurotypical therapist or psychiatrist. He relies on the old "I have a nephew with autism" trope to assert his authority on autism by stating "I have patients with autism" Yes - so do most therapists and psychologists. So what? I know people with cancer. That does not make me a cancer specialist. His take on meltdowns is typical you nail it at 2:04 Meltdowns are INVOLUNTARY. They result when social or sensory demands overwhelm us. They are a form of emotional breakdown. They are as involuntary as a seizure. The only way to "stop" them is to prevent them from happening in the first place. This requires a combination of external support and internal awareness. External support includes avoiding sensory assaults and social situations that we find overwhelming. The thresholds and triggers for meltdowns are dynamic, changing with our overall stress levels and mood. I've found that my ADHD medication makes me temporarily less sensitive to such stimuli, but more sensitive when it wears off for instance. To conflate meltdowns with temper-tantrums is sophomoric, lazy, and infantilizing. It shows an incredible lack of awareness and insight into the autistic mind, and what our reality is like. If I was one of his autistic patients, I'd have a long talk with him about his video, and I'd fire him as my psychiatrist if he didn't put up an apology video, and invite an autistic creator like you (Mike) to advise him on autism, and invite you on his show to discuss autism. Nothing about us without us.

[@shortbread445]

So, what you're saying is that there should be no male OBGYNs as their lack of first hand experience makes them unfit to study female anatomy and illnesses? And of course a psychologist would pathologize autism! His job is to help and (if possible) fix people who have so many problems in life that they will pay his office a visit. For him it's an illness or a desease-like condition or disability. For a sociologist autism may be a societal phenomenon. And If a meltdown is involuntary then most small children have meltdowns that are (falsely) called temper tantrums. They don't control their emotions either in most of those instances and need the stressor be shut down and a safe place to recover from their overwhelm. They just recover quicker as their brain and nervous system is more adaptable and learns with time and experience how to cope. To imply that they could control their emotions and are just manipulating is mean and dismissive. Please pay more attention to kids and be better informed about their behaviour if you want neurotypical people to show more interest in and understanding of your behaviour. And how come an autistic person can be so sensitive when it comes to words describing their appearance and actions that differ from adult neurotypical abilities while calling some KZbinr lazy and a quack if they present their knowledge? If autistic people demand all psychologists to have all the latest information about all mental illnesses and disabilities or be cussed out if they miss a point or misspeak or make an error, should neurotypical people then be allowed to cuss out an austistic person if they were "too lazy" to take the time to learn the mechanics of sarcasm or irony or flirting or pleasant chitchat? If autism isn't a disability why hold neurotypical people to a higher standard than neurodiverse people? I understand that growing up autistic in the 1960ies and 70ies must have been very traumatic. But your rage is misplaced when you throw it at people who try to include you and your challenges in their thought process.

[@uninspiredascent6891]

Also he thrives on treating clinical problems as if they are subclinical

[@bogscholar691]

@@shortbread445 ​​⁠ what an unsurprising show of nastiness and entitlement. ​ Dr. K, as a psychologist, should *absolutely* be held to the *very highest* standards possible because he is literally influencing *real* people’s *real* lives based on his clearly outdated education. If he wanted to include autistic people accurately, he would have educated himself better or had a guest. End of. Outdated information harms real people. Also, temper tantrums we see from children can be considered involuntary, as in, children don’t actively decide or think to themselves “oh I’m going to have a tantrum right now”. The difference between tantrums and meltdowns are that tantrums are attention-seeking, whereas meltdowns are not. Tantrums can be likened to babies crying - an *explicit* need or a want is unmet, and therefore they try to get attention so that said need is met. That isn’t what a meltdown is. Hell, meltdowns can and do happen in complete privacy. Watch the video again. Additionally, autistic people already *are* cussed out by neurotypicals for their social deficits and differences. Why do you think autistic people struggle to navigate society? Because neurotypicals are hostile towards us - that’s why. Neurodiverse people are held to *astronomical* standards, and if we don’t meet those standards, we are punished for it. There is a reason why autism has so many comorbitities with anxiety and depression. Autism IS a disability in the context of modern society - no one here is saying that it isn’t. Sounds like you’re just looking for more reasons to hate on people you don’t like or understand. Educate yourself better, and remember that autistic people don’t owe you *anything.* No one should have to “earn” your understanding, interest, or empathy. That responsibility is yours, and yours alone.

[@toadette4x]

Dr K needs to be eather educated on Autism and ADHD or stop talking about those subjects ASAP 😱, preferbly both 😅.

[@smartsmartie7142]

I don't remember much on what he did on ADHD, but it seemed alright when I watched it first. However that's 3 months ago.

[@tracik1277]

@@smartsmartie7142I stopped watching his channel after watching him interview/advise a young man with ADHD and telling him to stop being lazy and get his life together (paraphrasing)

[@jackoh991]

@@tracik1277wtf!

[@jackoh991]

@@tracik1277im so disappointed. I liked Dr k

[@smartsmartie7142]

@@tracik1277 no so he did wrong exactly what I thought he didn't do wrong! Dr K's advice on ADHD was all good, if he really said that it's pretty sad

[@kairon156]

The option K is unaware of is how shut downs are the alternative for holding shit back and masking for far too long. Can also become quite depressive too. While I don't ever recall flapping as an undiagnosed person, after moving out on my own I finally allow my body to move how it naturally wants to move. Walking on my toes is one of them. I told someone on Reddit a while back that "symptoms" is wrong for being autistic. It's who we are as people not a thing that needs curing. Note: That stream is what made me unsubscribe from Dr. K even though he has other good thoughts on mental health in general.

[@shortbread445]

If all differences shown between neurodivergent and neurotypical people aren't "symptoms" anymore but just "character traits", insurances won't cover therapies for those WHO need them to be able to go to school or work or just properly use the bathroom. Also no school would need to accomodate for your "character traits" and your behaviour would still be deemed "defective" when it is incompatible with general society / neurotypical behaviour. Autism might not be a desease but it certainly is a condition which may be a disability for some. Although I understand that you don't want to be seen as "ill" or "defective" as this has degrading connotations. It is true that most people can endure more sensory input than neurodivergent people and can understand more social clues. And If you want (or need) the neurotypical majority to care or even accomodate for those "symptoms" of your condition you can't proclaim them to be "another normalty" as any normalty (like being a woman or being 165 cm tall) is regarded as your private issue and won't be considered in any work place or school.

[@kairon156]

@@shortbread445 I never said being autistic wasn't a disability just that the wordings like symptoms that Dr K uses feels wrong and is off putting. I was able to get quite a bit of accommodations during my school years even without being formally diagnosed (as far as I'm aware). I and a group of other students were taken aside to have tests read out loud and we could ask for help when we get stuck, also extra time to work on them. Granted I wasn't thinking about people who have physical disabilities like bathroom issues such as Down Syndrome people, which is a whole other topic from ASD (You can correct me on this wording if you know.) I was never formally diagnosed as a child/teen due to it being the 80's-2000's as far as I know, but I was already other-ed while growing up. And often felt like I never belonged on this Earth due to being far from a normal kid. All I knew was that something in me was broken as I was always in my own head and pretty much never speaking out loud. I just want the wording for people being Autistic to fit better for people who do have a disability that may need therapy and or accommodations when requested; Without me feeling like my own issues and experiences as a human are seen like that of a diseased person who should be quarantined. I admit the last bit is over the top but it brings home my main point. Being unable to talk due to a combination of social anxiety, fear and what ever else isn't always like a symptom that can be corrected or ignored.

[@milkywayranchsc]

I have also seen meltdown misused to describe temper tantrums in nuerotypicals. One channel in particular keeps posting videos with "trump has another meltdown" in the title. That makes me cringe.

[@shortbread445]

What makes you so sure that Trump can help it and doesn't have involuntary (maybe demensia induced) meltdowns? I don't think this term is (or should be) reserved for autistic people. There are many (permanent and fluctuating) states of mind that can lead to brains overflowing and self control shutting down.

[@eacalvert]

The difference is Trump is a narcissist. It really is more of a temper tantrum to get what he wants in more cases than most people b/c it's a manipulation tactic. I would still use the word meltdown for some of his alleged "out bursts'

[@AuraLeafstorm]

While it's true that the term can be misused, "meltdown" is not a term exclusively reserved for autistic people. People on the autism spectrum may be prone to experiencing them more frequently, but neurotypical people can also have meltdowns.

[@LuluTheCorgi]

I learned these terms as synonyms as a second language speaker This whole discussion seems like a really weird semantic issue

[@milkywayranchsc]

@@LuluTheCorgi the issue was explained well in this video.

[@shortbread445]

Thank you for your assessment! I'm the mother of a "high functioning but daily melting" little boy (4yo). I try to understand his point of view better and what I can do to accomodate his needs. I rely heavily on the experiences of other neurodivergent people bc doctors/child care professionals all want me to "reign him in" and "challenge him with his triggers so he learns to react more robust". But Inneverbsaw malice or manipulation in him when he screams, just helplessness and devastation once he's cooled down. So, you explaining that those aren't temper tantrums but actually rather "emotional seizures due to overflow" makes so much sense and helps me to find spaces where he can cool down in peace and without being judged. But I'm also thankful for Dr. K who I've been following for a while for my older neurotypical gaming son, because he (maybe clumsily) brought this topic to a broader audience and opening a discussion where you and other experts and experiencers can chime in and correct and deepen the presented facts.

[@_D3mOnZ_F4LLinG_]

@@shortbread445 just letting you know that functioning labels are outdated terms. They are harmful because it puts pressure on high masking autistics to constantly mask and "act neurotypical" constantly, as well as simply being a little dehumanizing, basing someones worth by how well they can function to generate money within a capitalist society rather than having intrinsic value of just existing.

[@Lyzwyzrd]

As someone who was much like your son when I was his age, I think I can tell you a few things that helped me calm down back then, although everyone experiences autism differently. A good safe food/comfort food could be nutri-grains, though he might not like that texture so be mindful. Soup is usually always good though, it's the most neutral food, and the warmth can help with calming down. Have a "safe corner" in the house with the things he likes that he can retreat to when stressed, like, blanket, stuffed animals, maybe a fidget toy of some kind for stimming. Try to keep a distance, like, hover in case you're needed, but if you're not needed by him, don't try to get too close, it can make things worse if you approach Definitely invest in noise canceling headphones if you haven't already, I wish I had those when I was little When shopping for clothes with him, let him touch both the outside and inside of the clothing item you're looking at to ensure he likes how it feels on his skin.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

While I'm glad you found better sources through dr K, I would argue that presenting falsehoods and harmful things as solutions, as dr K does, is bad and not excusable in a healthcare professional who should know better. His solution to adhd is "just focus more." Yeah sure, I'll just completely rewire my brain shall I? He also said to not fidget, which basically means "stop doing the thing that helps you focus and just focus despite being literally physically incapable of doing so without fidgeting." So dr K at best is spreading lies that can and do real harm to people.

[@songsofsusannah]

Great video! This professional person you are responding to made me feel a little angry...and I never feel angry about anything except for injustice. I learned as a little girl that my Meltdowns were, "Tentratantrums," as I misheard the name. I had no idea that anyone thought that they were intentional or that their purpose was to get my way. I was always made to feel like having a Meltdown is a moral failing, and even though I know it's more like having a seizure (an involuntary neurological reaction), I still feel guilt and shame over them because I internalized this as a child. I was medicated with an anti-psychotic drug called Haldol for about 2 years when I was about 6-9 years old. My mother only had them take me off of it because I was gaining weight, even though I was having neurological side-effects that were so indistinguishable from Tourette's Syndrome that I was diagnosed with it. Finally, I was switched to off-label Prozac, which gave me paradoxical depression for years. I spent years being miserably depressed and assumed I had no choice in the matter because Prozac is an anti-depressant (this was before the info was released about possible paradoxical effects, which had been hidden by the drug company). I was on Prozac for 10 years. I was sent to a 10-day program when I was 8 that was intensive, 24-hour ABA for 10 days, and I lost my ability to communicate and developed an attachment disorder (disrupted attachment) during that time. I had major academic backsliding as well, going from reading at the 8th grade level to the 2nd grade level (for example). No one seemed to understand it was a trauma response. My parents were made to sign me over to the learning disability resource room at school, the warehouse for undesirable children, which was children Kindergarten through grade 8 all warehoused in a room together where we didn't learn anything and weren't allowed to work on school work for our grade level. I was the smartest and best-behaved student in the classroom, and one of only 3 girls. My parents couldn't get me out of that classroom or get the school to let me work on grade-level-appropriate work while I was in there. They had to request the regular textbooks so I could work at home on that work and not fall so far behind. Later that school year, unable to communicate and drugged up on intense levels of Ritalin and Haldol, I was molested (SA) during recess one day by 2 kids (none of the teachers noticed). I couldn't even move, I was so drugged and so messed up from ABA, and of course, unable to communicate. No one else knew about this until I was in college. I was 9 when it happened. ABA made me a nice compliant victim for SA. It's one other thing they don't tell you about the long-term consequences. Adult outcomes are better for those not subjected to ABA. It's torture and for the rest of your life, you deal with the consequences of it. I also agree with you on neurology-first language. Take away the autism and I would be someone else; I am Autistic, not a person with autism. Neurology is more at The core of who we are than gender or ethnicity.

[@Autistic_AF]

@@songsofsusannah I have no words, you’ve shared your story so succinctly. 🧡

[@PlomiennyJacus]

Dr. K lost credibility for me when he ranted against "militant vegans" while discussing an unrelated topic. Unfortunately a lot of people in the science field have an inflated view of their intelligence and use it to rationalize their opinions based on assumption, emotions and personal grievances as a product of "airtight" logic and synthesizing facts.

[@normanclatcher]

Tbf, that feels very like a very culturally _Indian_ complaint.

[@shockofthenew]

Thank you for this video, you did a great job of going point-by-point to refute the bizarre things he said. Honestly you're much gentler in your assessment of Dr. K than I am (though I understand keeping a measured tone is probably for the best here)! I think both as a psychiatrist and as someone with a massive audience he has absolutely no excuse for this level of ignorance. I also think it's telling that he arrived at this kind of judgemental, cruel, infantilising language in the first place, it shows something about his underlying attitude toward people he considers 'disordered'. This wasn't a brief slip of the tongue or a slightly outdated piece of terminology, he's actively spreading harmful ableist misinformation about a vulnerable population, which even a minimal amount of research would have shown him was wrong. It's beyond irresponsible. Getting further into the video and... wow. He just doesn't know the first thing about autism, does he? Most things he said were blatantly wrong and would be immediately thrown out by anyone actually qualified on the subject. His level of understanding is that of a layperson who's spent a couple of hours reading posts by other laypeople on reddit, and maybe skimmed a wikipedia article. Why on earth did he feel qualified to give this lecture in the first place? This would be laughable except I don't feel like laughing at all. "ABA is (I believe) a well-tested, well understood, effective intervention-" Jesus Christ. Please do one quick google search before speaking? Maybe?? Multiple very large, high profile studies have shown ABA to be ineffective and widely traumatising. Not only that, but *the majority* of studies formerly in favour of ABA were overturned after they were found to have undeclared conflicts of interest. It was a huge scandal a couple of years back, as anyone paying the scantest attention to the autism world would know. This isn't obscure information, it's the kind of thing any professional speaking about this subject should know at a minimum. Aside from the specific issue of autism, the fact that he is surrounding himself with all the indicators of being an 'expert' when he's actually speaking about subjects he knows little about is a HUGE PROBLEM. His channel labels him as a doctor, he makes sure people know he's speaking 'as a psychiatrist', he sits in a fancy office, he uses an extremely confident tone of voice, his videos take the format of 'lectures' with slides and annotations... but in the same breath here he is admitting "I don't know if this is actually a diagnostic criteria" and "I don't really remember I read it like a month ago, but [half-remembered nonsense]" and "in my opinion [something completely false]" and so on... it's absurd. This isn't just one misused word, it's a much bigger problem. He's making money by using his title of doctor to speak in an authoritative way on subjects he doesn't have a basic education on, let alone expertise. That's dangerous. I hope he learns from this, apologises, removes his videos on autism and any other topic he wasn't qualified to speak about. I hope he has a serious talk with his audience about how wrong this was, and changes the direction of his content. Sadly I don't have much faith that he will.

[@Autistic_AF]

You’ve summarised well. I’ve been having discussions with the HealthyGamerGG team, and they are very aware of the ‘autism primer’ videos’ failings and they tell me that steps are being taken to ensure it doesn’t happen again. There may be a further update on this in due course. I am encouraged that they appear willing to listen to constructive critical feedback and to learn. All the best, Mike 🧡

[@shockofthenew]

@@Autistic_AF I'm really happy to hear they were receptive to your feedback. I'm not super familiar with Dr. K, just watched a few of his videos, so perhaps I was too quick to write him off based on negative experiences with other influencers. I hope this does lead to some change, and if possible retractions and further discussions with his audience. Thanks again for the effort you're putting into this!

[@ToastyGhost2]

My dad used to call times when I went nonverbal a "tantrum" when I was 16/17. It triggered me every single time he would say that, and make me start crying. Words like tantrum are infantilizing. The person saying that is trying to make you out to be inconsolable or unreasonable. Its manipulative.

[@jigokushoujo95]

Friggn bless yo I watched Dr.K's video and was so frustrated with a lot of what was being said, really appreciate you taking the time to make a video discussing further and helping correct information!

[@kumamarru5492]

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. My mom thought I grew out of it, but I didn't. I just changed my outward behaviors due to constant bullying and social isolation. I suspect I may have autism too. I don't have meltdowns, but I definitely have moments where my brain shuts down to overstimulation. I find myself studying the way neurotypicals behave and try my best to emulate them to seem "normal". It almost feels like I'm an alien trying to blend in by studying the local species. I want to get diagnosed so I can know for sure. But the REDICULOUS $3000-$5000 fee they charge for diagnosis is ridiculous.

[@anthoantho1989]

Thanks for the great video Mike. I agreed with all your points and you do a very good job at researching everything in comparison with Dr K. Or maybe he tries to cover too many topics with his channel and ends up doing a bad job with the ones he's not passionate about, and just remembers the old fashioned views about Autism during his days as a student.

[@Autistic_AF]

Thank you ☺️ so much! I will go get a cosy cup of tea in the morning! ☕️. I think it’s just complacency. He’s been conventionally very successful, why would he spend his days on CPD and poring through the DSM? Why not open it and go through it on his stream? Because he doesn’t have to. That’s where my mind currently is, and if it changes I’ll update here the channel. All of us can become complacent in areas; work, or home life - and sometimes might need a little shakeup to bring us back to attention.

[@marius9139]

saw you in the chat, was wondering when this one was coming out lol

[@Autistic_AF]

😂😂😂 💯

[@BenDrowned-i1h]

When other autstic people call your mental breakdown/ autistic meltdown a tantrum or a fit, then we know this world is cooked (This actually happened to me)

[@icycoolstudios]

My biggest concern about the idea dr K gives at around 17:10 is that the way he describes the medication is that it it's more like its for the benefit of others rather than myself, makes my feelings and emotions feel dismissed rather than acknowledged and understood, as if they are something that need to be hidden, having been on medications like that growing up i feel like now that I'm not on it I struggle to regulate my emotions sometimes

[@waywrdsun]

I'm so glad you caught this and responded, Mike. Really disappointing that he got it so wrong with such a large platform.

[@Autistic_AF]

Thanks, Jason. I have some happier content planned, but content like this just keeps popping up recently!

[@aight33]

Dr. K is about to cancel himself one of these days. He's walking on thin ice.

[@llynxfyremusic]

@nickmagrick7702 please log off man. Why are you writing two word responses under every comment. I don't see what you're achieving here.

[@Autistic_AF]

@@aight33 Please try not to ascribe to malice what can be explained by misunderstanding - it’s quite possible Dr K has had a moment of complacency. It happens to us all at times.

[@CoolNitro1]

Dr.k recently had his licence either suspended or come under review due to mal practice and has been getting more and more unprofessional in how he talks about things in the last month, I've found some of the stuff he has posted quite dangerous like dismissing people with mental health issues who are isolated as simply being Internet trolls with no life, if I had of seen that while still in the dark place I was in a few months ago it could have easily sent me over the edge.

[@raven4090]

I had to learn to stifle meltdowns to survive, so I've been in shutdown most of my life. Including for the recent past few months.

[@GeekGamer666]

I think that's true of a lot of high masking autistics. Being loud or 'emotional' is reacted to negatively but being quiet and submissive is positively reinforced although in a more toxic way than the word positive would suggest.

[@raven4090]

​@@GeekGamer666 Yes, that's how it is. I started basically trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. Less bullying, and less effort needed to try to fit in. I've brought it with me from primary school, into middle age because I feel like it keeps me safe.

[@shortbread445]

The shutdowns are certainly the socially more accepted outcomes than the meltdowns since the meltdowns (loud, rapid movements) signal danger to neurotypical people while shutdowns signal just desinterest or defensiveness. Since both are straining to the one who has them as well as the relationships around them, it would be best to find an environment where the overflow does not occur. Think rather hermit in Norway than corporate career guy in New York.

[@Wicked_Knight]

Dr.K... Every time I've watched one of his videos, he always manages to really grind my gears... He means well, but has 'poor' choices of words. I can't share my full thoughts on this as my language isn't acceptable on KZbin.

[@GeekGamer666]

I think I know what you mean. Whenever I would watch a video I would have this feeling of being bothered by something I couldn't quite put my finger on but I think you've identified it. The issue I have is that although he 'means well' he's a medical professional so he has a duty to continue to educate himself, but more importantly not to speak like an expert about things he knows an inadequate amount about.

[@tracik1277]

I think he’s full of it. And full of himself.

[@graemesutton2919]

I have left watching his videos wondering if he has actually competent in his profession. Also whether he has actually dealt with ASD people. I certainly would not choose to see him

[@HigoIndico]

​@@nickmagrick7702Carefully ignorant.

[@tracik1277]

@@nickmagrick7702 🤣🤣🤣

[@jackpijjin4088]

Re: antipsychotics I had a friend in my elementary school days who had ADHD and autistim. He was a bit out-there (like me but a bit wilder) but he wasn't unmanageable... They forced him to take a yellow pill every day, and he would just turn into a zombie. Guess what happened when it wore off though? It made his ADHD far more present. Basically withdrawal symptoms would come in after. Repeat medication, restart loop. They wanted to push the pill on me and thankfully my dad refused to allow it. I'm now learning that all that time they were basically viewing me as "problem child" and not "child who needs assistance". I'll not go any deeper here, but to say it was a horrendous and abusive time is not an exaggeration.

[@ilikebeingsmart]

I remember when I was in an inpatient facility, they gave one of the older gentlemen a pill like that. It hurt my heart to see him talk about how much better he felt and his improvement, but then see him clearly doze off and have to be woken up by the nurses. As much as I don’t like my psych meds, I never want to be on such high doses that I turn into a zombie. I also do hormone therapy for my PMS, and I wish I had done that sooner because it’s nice to dramatically reduce the guaranteed meltdown that I would have every month that was directly connected to tracking my cycle. I think if medicine can be used in that way it’s helpful, but it’s not a fix all solution just to make a person acceptable to society.

[@PrincessPixieBell]

What’s crazy to me is that he said he’s worked with people with autism….

[@NoiseDay]

I'm gonna guess he's worked with like one or he's only working with adults and some of them happen to be autistic and it doesn't come up a lot.

[@Gwenx]

I have sat in the bathroom, screaming untill i couldn't scream anymore, my brain was in so much pain, if i didnt scream i would have hurt myself very badly or worse, hurt someone else.. That was a mental breakdown/severe burnout. Alao had i been restrained, i would have hurt the person as much as i could.. I dont usually do this, i in fact try to ever react on hurtful thoughts and feelings but these few really bad outbursts where uncontrollable, they also came along in a period of my life where i was on the edge with SI.

[@EzriKaiRaven]

As a therapist, I'm very frequently working with clients who are overcome with anxiety - and rightfully so - this world is anxiety-provoking. So, we deal with how to develop accomodations and how to advocate for accomodations. I can't tell you how often a client just wants to medicate, or a psychiatrist just medicates - Instead of working on skills that can reduce overwhelm without minimizing the experience of feeling overwhelmed. Too often people medicate "problems" or "symptoms," instead of being kind to the person experiencing very valid symptoms because this world is a mess. :( Also - the psychiatrist in question has had a board-reviewed ethical complaint so....

[@EzriKaiRaven]

We aren't ethically allowed to treat people outside of our training - much less TeAcH on a subject otuside of our training. :(

[@Omrikai6594]

Omg, your thoughtful, cool-tempered and humorous analysis of these gaps in language and awareness is the perfect antidote to how listening to Dr. K makes me feel. I actually consider myself fortunate in many ways for growing up undiagnosed, as the historical potential treatments would likely have broken my already tenuous hold on life and sanity. My anger spikes painfully bad when hearing this kind of BS. I've reached the age of 56 due to an equal mix of stubbornness, high masking, and the incredible compassion of a few precious people who believe/d in me enough to carry me when I couldn't move forward. The clumsy ideas so many apparent 'professionals' continue to espouse leave me flummoxed as to how they maintain an audience, let alone a practice. What really boosts my hope and confidence is people like yourself - like me, really - who can speak to the issues so lucidly. This is exactly how we keep ourselves healthy - by confronting ignorance with a vehement compassion. There aren't enough likes available to express my gratitude 🙏

[@DataRae-AIEngineer]

Yea Dr. K's attitude about autistic people has always bugged me. When I had a meltdown at work, it wasn't a temper tantrum. BTW we use "kick off" in the USA but it means unaliving yourself.

[@condor727me]

"i don't negotiate with terrorists." i love this line :) ...one of my longest running special interests in politics...i can't help but discuss parenting in terms of escalation ladders and political terminology :)

[@marandadavis9412]

@@condor727me that's the exact phase my mom uses when dealing with small children who are misbehaving too!

[@Authentistic-ism]

That video was such a huge disappointment when it aired i'd been so excited and assume he'd done good research or find autistic communities to help him out. Nope

[@VioletEmerald]

He really tried. Similar to the asexuality video. He did a lot of research but he misses the mark in a number of ways on these. I wish he brought an expert on.

[@Viciousf]

I have had the issue where a young child was being treated like he was having autistic fits. But he had learned he could get away with temper tantrums and lashing out, because the adults in his life were being (quite rightly) careful. Introduced a little discipline in his life, and it worked wonderfully. Then the complication became they got upset with themselves for their actual fits. Such a big heart, they're doing really well now. But it wasn't easy to separate the two at first. Every case is individual and every person needs such bespoke care.

[@frustraceann]

as for gut issues and autism, in addition to stress, i think that for some autistic people having unhealthy diets plays a big part in it. not only do a lot of us have less than well-rounded diets because of a narrow range of safe foods (such as myself), but many of us also have eating disorders (also me). it's easy to see the connection.

[@jackoh991]

Or, people have an unhealthy diet because there is so little they can be sure they won't have a reaction to

[@CaptnLenox]

I didn't even watch the full dr.K livestream because I got turned off by his use of "temper tantrums". Apparently it got only worse from there. Thanks for this video!

[@tiredko-hi-]

The explanations for the non-autistic people and the criticism were superb. We should always aim to listen, reflect, and discuss! I doubt Dr. K is an evil person doing an evil scheme spreading misinformation, I suspect he simply wants to spread information on a subject he feels he can inform people on. It is sad that Dr. K seemingly dismisses the criticism, but either way this video was a great way of sharing your wisdom, exactly what Dr. K was inviting us to do.

[@isabellefaguy7351]

Problem is if he thinks his autistic patients "throw tantrums", like my psychiatrist also think, we discussed this several times, me trying to explain her what is cognitive and sensory overload and that it has nothing to do with "being angry", Dr. K will apply treatment accordingly. If you think as a psychiatrist that said patient has "anger issues", you won't give the same treatment as if you think that said patient needs environment adaptations (because of sensory anomalies) and support (e.g. written instructions instead of verbal, to reduce cognitive overload). This whole blatant refusal of professionnals to accept that other people may experience the world differently, because of diagnosed neurological deficits (dx by the same professionnal by the way), is why me and so many other autistic adults are constantly refused the simple accommodations that would allow us to not get into overload.

[@tiredko-hi-]

@@isabellefaguy7351 being honest, I would feel real good getting a punch on him. I have been hurt by family and "professionals" under the false pretense of "we just want to help". My stimming was constantly punished, sometimes with yelling, sometimes by physically restraining me. And my meltdowns were almost always dealt with by putting me in my room alone or hunting me and physically restraining. A lot of the time I was ridiculed during my meltdowns and told to just stop acting like a child. All of this because some stupid book and because some stupid research said that this is a mere issue with emotional control that can be fixed. The harm the words of Dr. K has is unquestionable and it makes me dizzy just thinking about it. I am all for civilised talk and understanding, but he has to take responsibility if he wants respect, and I have no respect for that man whatsoever. It's ignorant people like him that have riddled my childhood with trauma.

[@tiredko-hi-]

I had to learn communication, social cues, facial expressions, face the overwhelming stimuli of eye contact, cope with the wind outside, mingle in school, and learn how to argue, read between the lines, the list just NEVER ENDS. And I had to do these with my family, professionals, the school, peers, everyone against me. Expect my twin brother, love him to bits 😺. All of this just to protect myself physically and mentally.

[@tiredko-hi-]

​@@isabellefaguy7351 my first reply disappeared so I'll summarise it. I don't side with dr. k, I don't respect his lack of accountability and irresponsible actions. I've had ignorant parents that have stopped basically all my stimming activities by yelling or physically stopping the action. During meltdowns I've been physically restrained, put in my room alone (the nicest but I got no support), and also been told to just stop acting like a child. When I was a child I was told to get my act together and stop overreacting. My thoughts go out to all families affected by his irresponsible actions, to those affected as customers and viewers. It's by drivel like Dr. K is saying that my childhood has been riddled with trauma.

[@pasqualeperri5661]

Gave up on psychiatrists after years of misdiagnosis of our son

[@cristinasvendsen]

I have never in my almost 50 years of age felt so understood, heard and validated without me begging to PLEASE listen to what I’m trying to communicate and not what you’re interpreting. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART ❤❤❤

[@gianttigerfilms]

language is so powerful

[@RazeAVillage]

Thank you for this video. I'm one of the many over 40 adults who were not diagnosed. Now I'm putting together all the clues. Like I didn't even know about stimming (and everyone stimms) before my therapist mentioned some common stims. I remember saying, "Wait. Stop. Spinning?" and told her how I spun all the time as a child. That just opened up a rabbit hole for me to dive down. Turns out several people I knew just figured I was autistic and just never brought it up because why? They figured I just knew. As I learn more, the signs are piling up. I am wondering if I want to bother with a diagnosis. I really appreciate this video because it helps me to better understand what autism is and is not. I also really hope the person you are responding to sees this video and LISTENS because, I agree, he was being unethical as well as just... wrong. He was spreading misinformation. As I interact more with autistic people, I am learning more about autism, but also, I understand that I need to understand other autistic people better. I have shutdowns but no meltdowns. I repeat the work 'OK" and rock a LOT. I've been told many times that I am "blunt" or "too forward". This is just me though, where as another autistic person may have entirely different autistic traits, and it is just the kind thing to do to understand other autistic people as well if for no other reason than to tell people not to restrain a person having a meltdown!

[@NymphaeaDreams]

I had always wondered why Dr K. steers clear of the topic when the audience would try asking for him to go over autism. I think we're seeing why he avoided it until now. I hope he takes the time to speak with a professional more updated and informed on the topic, because this just isn't it.

[@Autistic_AF]

I didn't know that. I took this video on its own merits. Although, I am encouraged that his comments section was apparently filled with very reasonable comments from the general audience (that he cannot have missed while streaming).

[@zioah4560]

Can not even look at that Drs thumbnails…

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

😂😂 no kidding! I blocked him from my recommendations a long time ago. So many weird, judgemental guilt trips for clickbait!

[@lydrowl]

When i get overwhelmed, I often look inward and getting very emotionally depressed and have a depressive episode. Its hard because it doesnt look like a traditional meltdown but its horrible for my health. I just get so overwhelmed I just let my emotions take me over in that moment. Then later dont see how I am overwhelming myself in a situation I need to get out of until much later.

[@Gabriel-sn6yg]

25:57 Why did he compared "a neurotypical person" with "someone on tha asd spectrum"? Firstly "asd spectrum"? Really? "Autistic spectrum disorder spectrum"?? And secondly, if you use person-first use person-first, if you use neurotype-first, use neurotype-first, don't use person-first for autistic people and neurotype first for neurotypical people, that feels really othering...

[@jackoh991]

Excellent point

[@CreatiVastARTS]

Dr. K reminds me of the very doctors I had as a kid, that lead to abuse and all sorts of trauma, as well as being on medication that I should have never been on, that caused even more problems. Doctors like that, put my safety at risk. Reasons I have a hard time putting trust in doctors.

[@annvickers4417]

Thank you for correcting this. 💙💜 Melt downs and shut downs are not (deliberate bad or rude) behavior. When I exceed my capacity to cope I cannot control being in such a heightened state of overwhelm and stress. Neurotypicals reach these states under extreme stress, it’s just more rare, like in the sudden death of a loved one. I have observed people striking EMTS, rocking on the sidewalk etc. these are excused because of the extreme stress. This level of stress is where I’m at much more often. I feel like a caged bonobo chimp with severe zoochosis.

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

ABA is torture and I can't understand how a psychiatrist can defend it or to to respect the patie t's - relative's point of view on it instead of preventing the mental damage it causes.

[@quintboredom]

I'm autistic but I do not get these comments at all. Doesn't he also refer to ADHD as laziness as a way to reflect what characteristics society sees reflected on the group? Couldn't it be the same thing here? Many fellow autistics may not like this, but a meltdown does look like an adult temper tantrum to most humans on earth. It's just an event socially restricted to children and believe me, anyone who sees you in such a state for the 1st time will be shocked. It's just the truth. We can understand what is going on inside our minds but it's really hard even for me as an autistic not to feel scared or shocked if I see an adult having a meltdown, and yeah the closest thing are children temper tantrum. Cuz it's annoying and confusing and you just want them to behave. I know that's not what is going on with an autistic person in the moment, but that is indeed the societal view. Autism will never be 100% accommodated to all of its "quirks", hell we're very lucky if we even make it to 35%

[@NoiseDay]

Love how he makes it abundantly clear that he did no research to prepare for this. If you're going to repeatedly insist that you're not an expert, you shouldn't be running the discussion.

[@wendyheaton1439]

The last time I had a severe meltdown it left me debilitated for days and yet I so often hear parents of even my own grandchildren refer to toddler behaviour as a meltdown. It feels like we are fighting a losing battle on the terminology front! The two couldn't be more different but how do we undo the common usage of words?

[@shortbread445]

But toddlers have meltdowns, too. Just as neurodivergent people can throw a fit which has nothing to do with their meltdowns (or rather may preceed a meltdown). A meltdown is involuntary rage or distress due to sensory overexposure and/or difficulty to cope with stimuli. It happens with neurodivergent people in "normal situations" and with kids in situations (equally) overwhelming/not suited for them, but also with neurotypical people when they've been exposed to enormeous amounts of stress (torture, abusive relationships, high amounts and long lasting noise or flickering lights or bullying at the work place). It results in being extremely unwell and often a panic attack or a shut down. And, if done too often without recovery, a burn out. That's when in the 70ies the parents and teachers proudly stated that "the kid finally got it and learned to behave" but wondered why their interest in hobbies or play had waned. A temper tantrum is also a state of being stressed, but you can still control it and soothe yourself quickly if you want to. Adults will shout and storm out and go for a walk. Kids will shout and kick and run. But both will still be open to reasoning (or bribe). Most small kids' temper tantrums are actually meltdowns as they can't help it to scream and kick in that moment. Parents today will not adress a kid in that state and will not touch or restrain them if they can avoid it but will try to navigate the kid to a place where they can't harm themselves or others and won't be stared at and will sit in the vicinity of the kid to wait their overwhelm out with them. Then hand them a snack and offer a hug and proceed as usual. With time the neurotypical kid learns to cope with those emotions while the neurodivergent kid might learn to stim or will always melt down. With neurodivergent kids the temper tantrums are as often as with neurotypical kids while the meltdowns are more often as they can't filter the stimuli as a neurotypical kid can. Most neurodiverse adults learn to "filter" those stimuli by avoiding them or overpowering them (e.g. using headphones and loud music in a loop to drown out street or work noise). To compare these states of emotions doesn't infantilize a neurodivergent adult. Also adults (ND and NT) should pay close attention to when a child is using loudness and kicks to manipulate and when they just can't help it. If we are being kind, educated and understanding towards neurodivergent brains and actions this kindness and understanding should also expand to kids and their (developing) brains.

[@randomness2376]

Thank you for the clarification. I have an older brother who is autistic and has been officially 'diagnosed'. He always suffered from emotion regulation and what you have shared on this video makes a lot of sense, because I believe my brother to be one of the kindest person I know but have always been misunderstood to be a very angry person. My father has always been very short tempered with him, which may have shaped how he reacts to confrontations and reacts in a more heated manner than the average person. I have a suspicion that it's not just my brother that is autistic in the family but my father and myself. My father has always seemed emotionally distant because of his lack of verbal communications and frequently expressed wish to be away from people or not have to deal with people (assuming out of fear of verbal communication). I also had my spells of "temper tantrums" or rather autistic meltdowns to be more precise, but I have been masking a lot more than my father and my brother. I now seem to have manifested (or rather identified my pre-existing) autistic traits more, having learned more about myself through very good friends who have taught me about autism. I've been suffering from burnout and experience fatigue easily, and I also have a fear of trying anything new in fear of feeling more fatigue, even though I'm not satisfied with my current work-life. Thanks again, and I'll try to take this lesson away to help my brother and my father.

[@danielaspitz3052]

I wanted to write a lot about the issue, but I'm leaving totally triggered at the "children's temper tantrums".My heart is racing.

[@CanisLupus1987]

Not going to lie he reminds me of all psychiatrists who denied my diagnosis. I was diagnosed with Asperger a a child, but because i moved countries I was undiagnosed in my home country. I have so much trauma and was hospitalized against my will. I was just rediagnosed with Autism lv 1 and ADHD. 30 years after my initial diagnosis. I am 37, never had a boyfriend, was Ostracized hy most of my family and had to fight social services and hide to get a job. I am accused of Hoarding, but my hoarding doesnt meet typical hoarding symptoms. They took everything I owned multiple times, and I went from being disorganized to hoarding. More and more I believe i must be in a State of burn-out and every time I try to clean I shutdown, particularly when being pressured and end up doing worse. I also appear to have PHDA(ADHD)