25 Autism Accommodations You Didn't Know You Needed

[@ScottBullard]

1. 03:35 Sound-reducing earbuds 2. 07:57 Ask to meet at a sensory friendly place 3. 08:56 Say “I need some time to think about this” 4. 09:41 Stims, Large and Small 5. 10:27 Research a new location before visiting 6. 11:09 Leave overwhelming situations 7. 11:39 Ask for clear outlines and expectations 8. 12:25 Communicate non-verbally 9. 14:04 Occupational Therapy 10. 15:12 “It makes sense that I feel this way” 11. 16:16 Spend time with animals 12. 16:22 Keep comfort items with you 13. 17:06 A weighted backpack 14. 17:40 Have difficult conversations when walking or driving 15. 18:36 Automate processes 16. 20:41 Bamboo kitchenware 17. 21:46 Body doubling 18. 22:40 Buy multiples of clothing 19. 23:18 Compression clothing 20. 23:57 goblin.tools and The Chef 21. 25:50 Crying 22. 26:17 Pay the convenience fees 23. 28:34 Drinking hot tea 24. 30:14 Laughing 25. 31:00 Accept your patterns rather than trying to change them

[@oishikaray2767]

Omg ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@amycus2129]

Oooh thanks for this.

[@rebasafko6260]

Thank you!!

[@DreamtaleEnjoyer]

"The Chef" is actually a tool on goblin tools :) not a separate thing!

[@BrightestBlessings7899]

Thank you for this list. My memory works based on visuals.

[@hank_430]

Restaurant ordering trick if you can’t research before hand: take picture of menu, excuse yourself to wash your hands in the bathroom, then sneak a peak while alone.

[@Portia620]

Great ideas! Thanks!

[@thursdayaddams5564]

Oh, that’s so smart!

[@lisatulip7873]

Oh I have so much trouble with this! This is a great idea! A lot of the time I forget to look it up ahead of time.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I love this hack! Thanks so much for sharing.

[@tamberjune]

Yes! Thanks cause I always wash my hands first great idea.

[@bnatural87]

It’s incredible the number of things we don’t realize are an issue until we see another option

[@TurtlesRockALot]

15 years ago, before I had any idea of what was going on, I started wearing these bamboo leggings, undies and singlets. Every day, under every outfit. I told myself it was efficient to buy and wear the same thing. Which is true. I told myself it was a clever brand because their labels just pull off (designed to be quickly unthreaded thru just pulling). Which is also true. But actually wearing this layer of soft label-free underclothes against my skin was a sensory minimiser. And reduced mental load from less decision making.

[@jbrubin8274]

It really is, I didn’t know for far too long.

[@cameronschyuder9034]

@@TurtlesRockALot I also started to wear earbuds along similar lines of reasoning years ago-- i now realize that I get stressed without them partially due to sensory overload, and not purely because I have no music to listen to...

[@cameronschyuder9034]

@@joshberkesch680 yes, but also drinking costs money both in terms of the drinks themselves and the health costs later on if/when consumed excessively, which is likely to happen if that is someone's go-to for drowning out their perpetually unfulfilled need that they didn't realize they had because no one else they know has the problems they do so they can't put a name to why they feel so bad

[@joshberkesch680]

@@cameronschyuder9034 pretty much, fair enough

[@maureenbrown3477]

Been shut down for 67 years. This is new for me. Recently diagnosed ADHD and working on official diagnoses for Autism. This is the benefit of having children and grand children. They’ve opened my eyes to myself. Never to old to start new

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're right! never too late to learn more about how to better understand and appreciate yourself and your authentic patterns.

[@sandycole9030]

I'm going through the same with an over 60 + discovery of having adhd and asd. He husband makes my life difficult much of the time 😢. I've explained my different communication needs and ways that I understand things, and how it makes my reactions more challenging. Sometimes he just won't say anything but more of the time he gives me a hard time. He will yell and claim he's not. He's blind and I'm always willing to be more accommodating. I can't keep this up but I don't know what to do! It's very hard

[@samcrorie]

I'm 53 and was diagnosed with ADHD in my thirties and it was life changing. I'm currently seeking a diagnosis for ASD. I've always felt like an oddball weirdo and was bullied as a kid but now I know... There's nothing wrong with me, my brain is just wired differently and it doesn't make me less than anyone else.

[@catspeakegroove]

Snap!

[@catspeakegroove]

I discovered I was adhd during Covid. I read a random article and everything fell into place. A psychiatrist confirmed the evaluation. I then met a very talkative person who said he was autistic. I said “no you’re not! You must be adhd ! “ then someone suggested I might be autistic??? Me??? Not possible! Now I’m listening to all these vids and thinking omg… I’m both!!!

[@pam-hf5br]

Discussing clear expectations with my wife before we do an activity together has been transformative for both of us. Here's an example from before we talked about expectations: Terri said, "Pam, let's go shopping for a couch." I said, "OK." We went to HOM and sat on and talked about most of the couches and then decided on one. Great relief on my part, because we're done! Then Terri said, "while we're here, let's look at lamps." I immediately felt overwhelmed and angry, but I went along. I was sullen and frowning on the outside, but ready to scream/cry on the inside. It was an activity that I hadn't prepared for. Terri, understandably, thought I was being unreasonable. So did I, but I couldn't help it. Variations of this scenario were repeated for years, until I learned that I'm on the spectrum. Now, before we set off on any outing together, I state what I think we're going to be doing (ex., look at area rugs) and we negotiate/agree. Once at the store, if Terri wants to look at those dang lamps she'll ask to see if I'm OK with an extra activity, and is fine if I say no. But, sometimes I'm able to say "yes." Important P.S.! I learned about discussing expectations, from this site. Thank you.

[@LorraineVirginie]

It’s amazing how just asking rather than insisting sometimes makes it easy to say yes to something unexpected suddenly!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is wonderful! Thanks for sharing. I know our community will benefit from this info.

[@AntjedePantje]

​@@LorraineVirginieYes, and very importantly (for both sides): asking things while accepting that the answer could be no, and for the other person to feel safe enough to say no. I feel like that's still an issue for some people, and I struggle with it too sometimes

[@cameronschyuder9034]

@@LorraineVirginie yes! because it feels like we can actually choose and aren't pressured to go with the flow, which means there's less stress, and less stress means there's more room to put up with an additional stressor (unexpected activity) without overload and overwhelm

[@ZoeyTG]

Absolutely. My wife and I have a deal. We're both on the spectrum so that helps. I can't stand shopping for so many Over stimulating reasons. She sometimes needs body doubling to help grocery shop. Her and I have a rule. She picks 1 maybe two places i can be okay joining with her. I get to be quiet if I need and just be around while she picks things. Then if she has more places to go, we agreed I can just stay in the car. It's helped a lot. We're both women so no inference that women are the shoppers.

[@tylrp24]

I used to think I had to "grit my teeth" through everything, but now I accomodate myself. I always leave the house with earbuds and sunglasses. I also have been working on giving myself permission to say "no" to doing things I dont have the energy for.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Love to hear this!

[@PaulavanDreuten]

I love that flower crown

[@ArheIy]

Sunglasses, yes! God damn sunglasses! I always thank myself for not being too greedy to get dark aviators with dioptric lenses in addition to my clear medical glasses. The ability to hide your eyes from anyone is awesome, eye contact suddenly becomes much more tolerable - you can just look at people however you want and not look like a freak! Well, you also look like a freak if you wear sunglasses even if it's not too sunny, but it's better than the alternative.

[@HuntingSunder]

"Bring a blanket with you." Oof, I did this at work back when I hadn't realized I was autistic (like 2019 or so), and because the entire building was freezing. I brought a grey blanket with me to meetings and used it as a shawl. Eventually we had a meeting with one of the "higher-ups" and they made a comment, so my boss told me to stop bringing the blanket. It was one of the most embarrassing situations I've been in at work. Still, thank you for saying this. I hadn't really forgiven myself for making that "mistake", and it's comforting to know that it wasn't a mistake at all, just an unfortunate incident in which neither of us knew I needed an easy accommodation.

[@yarnpower]

A heavy shawl could perhaps fill the need of a blanket but still give warmth, comfort and be fashionable. If you know any crocheters or knitters they would probably love to make you one if you pay for yarn. Or it could be incentive for you to learn how to make one yourself.

[@HuntingSunder]

@@yarnpower I happen to have picked up crochet since then, but I keep forgetting I can just make myself highly customized things. Good idea!

[@Ummuri2000]

I used to wear a blanket in high school and university (2014-2022), which started a "cape" trend on both campuses during winter months. I've switched to baggy cardigans/shawls since I need something more maneuverable for my job

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Blankets are sooo helpful to me!

[@ChantalM3]

I used to have a large, plain grey, knitted, hooded poncho from Smart Set, and I wore it to university a lot. I could hide myself under it while not appearing antisocial, and it was comforting and warm.

[@donnellallan]

I have virtually all of my groceries delivered now. When i begin to chide myself because of the extra cost, i remind myself that i don't have a car, and delivery is cheaper than owning a car. 💜

[@carolynmacdonald7024]

Yes, and you save a lot of time that you might otherwise spend in meltdown or something. You save yourself a lot of stress and misery that means you can do more in other areas of your life.

[@donnellallan]

@@carolynmacdonald7024 ,exactly. 💜

[@anjellalo972]

Omg! I should have done that in college! I had no car, and had to wait until a family member was available to take me shopping every couple weeks

[@memery2781]

Same! I only do drive up groceries now. I can bring my dog with me in the car which is a huge comfort and I don't have to walk around the loud, crowded store. Game changer.

[@donnellallan]

@@memery2781 🐕 🐶 💜

[@elibell5098]

"It's 2024, be weird." I'm totally quoting this all the time now. That was awesome!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha, just came to me! :)

[@ttv_Simply_Soph]

YES!!

[@Thira_Steel]

Yesss!!!

[@kirstynmcleary4963]

It’s beautifully authentic

[@elibell5098]

@@MomontheSpectrum I'm so excited my comment got some love. :)

[@llareia]

For nonverbal signals, I recently worked out with my husband that if I get completely overstimulated or am starting to meltdown (during which time I am INCAPABLE of verbally expressing that I need a break to collect myself and he understandably gets very frustrated if I just walk away without saying anything, but I get even more upset if I have to try to stumble and trip over my words at that exact moment), I will give him the "TIMEOUT" hand sign before I walk away and that will communicate that I just need a minute alone to collect myself and to please not ask me if I'm ok because I'm not, but I will be. 😆

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Love this suggestion! Thanks for sharing it here.

[@Shashu_the_little_Voidling]

I don't have a partner, but I wish I had something like this for my friends. Just something I could sign with my hands or whatever that could tell them "You're overwhelming me, please give me a couple minutes." But how do I introduce this idea without feeling shame or guilt about needing accommodations?

[@user-lj5wy9hz2y]

@@Shashu_the_little_Voidling Is it better to feel awkward about asking friends to understand you, or is it better to feel ashamed when you act in ways that your friends don't understand and will inevitably find rude and may damage your friendships..? I don't understand why talking to your loved ones about what you need is shameful..? Unless your friends aren't very understanding people.

[@siennaprice1351]

I’m a cryer. I cry when I’m frustrated, when I’m sad, when I’m happy and other times. I also have a lot of comfort items. Sensory brushes, musical instrments, singing, my weighted blanket, my squeaky ball, swinging, crystals, the list goes on. I’m on the autism spectrum, completely blind and have CPTSD. Another accommodation I need as a blind person is the right to touch things without judgment. And when I say touch things, I mainly mean things in a grocery store. Not people, other people’s things, or food at a buffet or things like that, because that’s not ok. I also need the accommodation to kick or punch or hit anything I run into without judgment. I need to do this to express myself.

[@user-ww1bg7st2h]

This might sound really dumb/rude but I'm very confused on how you made the comment if your blind? I'm not trying to make it sound rude but I'm curious

[@user-ww1bg7st2h]

I'm a Cryer too

[@SunshineGrove04]

I am the same like you and I also deal with CPTSD. I have chronic illnesses and I also deal with that very piece of family system that is left being really isolated… my body further.. I do all things that you do as well. I agree, regardless I do have my vision. I’m still a touchy-feely person that has to feel something.. it’s just a deep intrinsic to really taking things in. 🫂💜

[@siennaprice1351]

@@user-ww1bg7st2h I use an accessible feature on my Iphone called Voiceover. It basically reads everything out loud to me on the screen. That’s how I was able to make this comment. Plus I also use a bluetooth keyboard when typing these to make it faster and easier.

[@ALewis-ix7zx]

❤

[@daisymoonsavage5040]

Commenting again because accepting patterns has been a huge thing for me. I used to be able to be out the door in 30 minutes. I was so high masking. Sadly I would arrive at my destination stressed out and usually have to cry for 10 minutes before I went in anyway. Now I allow myself 90 minutes. I can have my shower and take a break. Do my hair and take a break. Get dressed and take a break. I’m enjoying my life so much more ❤

[@createwildescapes]

Good idea!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad to hear this!!

[@mortalitysucks]

I do the same thing, so I started leaving for work a hour before clock in. So now I sit in the parking lot for 35 mins and get my mask ready for the day!

[@idontcheckmynotifications7138]

Yep I have to do small tasks and take a break too. If not I'm overwhelmed and it can ruin my entire day.

[@joannecowie7346]

I never thought of this. I'm always rushing in the morning as i assumed i had to get up and out within an hour. I've always rushed so I've gotten into the habit of rushing and being stressed. ​@idontcheckmynotifications7138

[@Aelfswythe]

Taking a short nap is super helpful for me. I call it "rebooting my brain". When I'm feeling overwhelmed and my head hurts, I've found that when I take a short nap, it helps my brain and body rest. 15-45 minutes usually works for me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! Thanks for sharing.

[@aldencrispin1086]

Yes, naps are so helpful! And personally i feel I’ve gotten pretty good at guessing which things i need to nap after so i can plan the nap in my day

[@vgsly]

I do a daily yoga nidra practice that is a nap on steroids. Took me several tries to find a good guide video on KZbin but doing it daily for 6 months now, I can take 20 minutes of my lunch break and feel like I had a 90 minute nap and come back ready to rock the second half of my work day!

[@philb8437]

Yes ! That can help a lot. Sometime though I need more than a short nap, either a long one or a full night to reset the ideas a bit

[@LittleTFam]

I'm sad I just missed the deadline to enter the giveaway. I would like to try those earbuds for help with noise sensitivity when I'm around my three kids--sometimes it feels like my brain is going to explode with overwhelm from the noises they make.

[@Stacy-s1s]

Taylor, sign language would be a wonderful thing for you to learn with your kids. Not only could you communicate with each other, it'd enable you and your family to communicate with hearing impaired people. Might be a fun thing to learn as a family

[@thesincitymama]

My mom did this with me and my siblings, and we didn’t even know we were neurodivergent yet, back then. It’s a helpful idea! It was fun learning the quiet communication method together. Also, most people didn’t know sign language then, so it was like our family had a secret code language.

[@dawnkindnesscountsmost5991]

My cousin and her husband learned ASL in college, and they began teaching each of their children before each child was a year old. None of them have hearing issues or (as far as I know) are neurodivergent; it made communicating with their pre-verbal babies much easier, and they can all communicate with people who have hearing issues.

[@rosie678100]

I’m studying it now for my partner and I and I’m so happy!! It’s so exciting to expand the people I can communicate with

[@mothdust1634]

I'm learning it on my own, but no one in my social circle is interested in joining. I have one deaf coworker I like to talk to using the ASL I learn, but I really wish more people would be interested. It's so fun and useful and yet no one wants to learn??? I just don't understand. Also, I feel like it's super rude to my coworker to not even bother learning how to sign "hello". It's so simple to do. I have caught some of my other coworkers talking loudly to her as if she could hear if they just increase the volume and it's just so silly. I mean do people never get out of their own heads? Reading lips is really frickin hard too, so like don't expect her to rely on that completely. I don't know... I'm just frustrated with the lack of interest in things outside of socializing with their own family units that I find everyone does. The world has more to offer >:(

[@decgal81]

My daughter is HOH and we sign at home (not fluently but some signs). There are times I can't talk but I can sign. I don't understand it bc it's both language, but somehow, it's different for my brain.

[@hollyw9566]

I was on antidepressants for a long time and couldn't cry. I got off them, gradually, with my doctor's help. Now I cry at the drop of a hat and I find I enjoy it. I almost love it. There were times I'd TRY to cry, I needed to cry, and couldn't. Crying is GOOD for you. Even if you're not neurodivergent.

[@Indijana]

Crying helps people release oxytocin endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that basically ease our pain. I don't enjoy crying itself, but it definitely feels good afterwards. 😊

[@FloatingSpark]

This was one of the main reasons I went off of antidepressants too. I was HORRIFIED by the fact that I couldn't cry. I recognized it was being an important part of catharsis and self awareness, and it being out of reach was absolutely unacceptable to me.

[@aidanoran2544]

​@@FloatingSpark hello, I see that this must have been a distressing period for you and I am glad you found and addressed the problem (hopefully there are no lasting effects). I am quite interested in pharmacology and drugs, their mechanisms of action, adverse effects and interactions. I actually have seldom heard of this side effect in antidepressants aside from SSRIs and I was wondering (if you do not mind sharing- totally understand if not) which medication you were on (and dosage)? Did this last the entire course or develop a few weeks in? Thank you and have a good day/night (likely day)

[@FloatingSpark]

@aidanoran2544 I was on citalopram, and I don't recall when the side effects started, I took it over 20 years ago! But I know that a blurting of emotion can be a common side effect of SSRIs, as is a loss of sex drive, which is also extremely concerning to me! And also a side effect I experienced. I was put on a second antidepressant (wellbutrin) to counteract that side effect, but I had VERY strange side effects from that which were not tolerable, increased anger, strange sleep and dream effects, and smoking pot made my pupils huge and made me feel like I was on mushrooms! Antidepressants are strange :p

[@nightsgrow6575]

I miss crying so much. I don’t know if I ever can get off antidepressants but I desperately want to so I can get emotions back. Not the rage though, I don’t want that back.

[@BeautyBeatdown]

As an autistic train worker who works on long distance trains with sensory overload, I could really use these Flare earbuds to drown out the constant cacophony of train horns, screeching brakes, and overly enthusiastic passengers when I'm trying to sleep at night. Fingers crossed I win!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for your comment!

[@cynicalcriticofhousekeepin1881]

Try pink noise, it's a life safer for me

[@ChantalM3]

That sounds rough. I passed under some cattle cars the other day and wondered how painful it is for the cattle to constantly hear the screeching wheels for hours on end.

[@mikailahamilton5735]

Loops could be helpful for you too! They block noise more than flares and have a model for blocking sound while sleeping!

[@lightbeingform]

*activated autistic special interest* So... tell me about train work 😃

[@christinapolanc]

I appreciate the choice in not editing your video for so many of us with Autism already know too well our lives are filled with bloopers everyday. You in a sense virtually unmasked. 🎉

[@christinapolanc]

I think the Flare Earbuds could be beneficial in my work life having hypersensitive hearing is a true battle ultimately leading into sensory overload.

[@patriciagarrity8220]

Yes, excellent point! Thank you for “blooper-sharing”, Taylor. And, thank you many times over for this channel.

[@magdolyn]

As she's getting distracted, like by the jet, and starts rambling, I have this feeling like I'm looking into a mirror.

[@shawngross5420]

My daughter was diagnosed with autism at 12. The more I learn about it, the more I am realizing I am probably autistic, too. I don't know if I will bother with a diagnosis in my 50s, but the possibility of me being autistic explains a lot about my life. Growing up in the 70s and 80s with parents who were not having it, I am a master masker. It was rough, and I am so glad my daughter experiences more understanding and acceptance.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad you are learning how to support yourself and your daughter! She is lucky to have you.

[@jerkerjansson]

I am 61 and got my diagnose in my late fourties, for me it's been a blessing. I was destroying myself from the inside. I was masking so hard that it made me feel like I didn't know who I was. I ended up nearly killing myself drinking huge amounts of alcohol. Lost everything, but with professional help and hard work I stopped drinking, repaired the relations I had hurt and eventually found true love for the first time in my life. I am still struggling, but thanks to the diagnosis I can get real good help. Right now I am waiting to start a new wonderful job without hiding who I am. Here in Sweden the laws and rules concerning autists are strong. So the state pays half my salary for the first year. On a personal level the diagnosis saved my life, even though I am constantly struggling. But at least I know why. Unmasking is hard after so long time, it's like the mask grows back when I am not keeping it in check, I found this channel searching for inspiration and support.

[@shawngross5420]

@jerkerjansson , I am so glad you are turning things around in your life and growing to understand yourself better. It sounds like Sweden is very supportive, too. The US is not as supportive. We paid $1700 out of pocket for my daughter's assessment. My child's weekly counseling is $175 per session, and her health insurance only pays $120 for 20 doctor/counseling appointments per year. The benefit is exhausted, so we are paying out of pocket. I have been looking into assistance, but it looks like you have to be below the poverty line to get any financial help. We are middle class, so these expenses are a stretch for us. It is rough, but we will make it work, so she can get whatever she needs. My own stuff will have to wait for now. I made it this far, and my education is in psychology/counseling, so I will figure out how to meet my own needs for now.

[@jerkerjansson]

@@shawngross5420 Ouch, that's a lot of money! I would also focus on my kid in your situation. I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself without going broke.

[@oakherder17]

I learnt through my kids but also learnt my parents are almost more auti than I am 😀

[@tinylilshamrock]

I am in my mid-forties. I was born a girl in the rural Midwest. I was smart, pretty, and articulate. No one in that time and place would ever have thought I might be autistic. But I know there were adults around who knew I wasn't "normal." I wasn't. But no one ever suspected the truth, certainly not me. I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I know now -- I am nuerodivergent. Is it autism? Probably. And so, so many things make sense now. My habit of repeating what people say or finishing their sentences. My desire for a weighted blanket. The constant fidgeting that I wasn't even aware I was doing. The meltdowns I didn't understand even as they happened. And oh, my God, the sensory issues. The. Sensory. Issues! I thought I was just weird. Or oversensitive. Or everyone hated this or that, they just dealt with it and no one talked about it. I hate tight clothing. Hate it. Everything needs to be loose. It can fit a bit snugly, but I cannot feel constricted, especially on my arms, ankles, and shoulders. Socks? Hate (except fuzzy ones). When I have to wear them, they must be very specific kinds. And noise. Oh, the noise. Noise can put me in such a bad mental place so quickly. I never knew earbuds like that existed. I am definitely going to look into getting some. Winning would be lovely, but thank you for talking about them regardless. So many accomodations I never knew about, so many I never considered. It's like a whole other world that I didn't know I belonged in. It's an easier world. More understanding.

[@denizday7785]

Thank you for talking about tight clothing! I don't hear autistic people talk about it as a trigger, so I was halfway convinced it was a physical medical issue for me. I can't stand anything squeezing my waist! Thank goodness for pelvic bones.😂

[@Hotmessmomsreadings]

It's interesting how you guys say you don't like tight clothing because I feel most comfortable in tight compression type clothing like leggings and tight sleeves. Especially because I have a lot of skin since weight loss. So body just morphia issues there and sensory issues there because of my skin SMH.

[@chaos862]

I agree wholeheartedly with your comment. I have to say, it is VERY well written. So well that I looked to see if you had content I could follow. Even if you don’t win, I strongly suggest earbuds, I have another brand, and they are really very useful. I even approached my HR manager about wearing them at work, this created a whole other issue for me (ableism is a thing I never knew I would have to face in myself.) Good luck to you!

[@The_Jen_Reilly]

Yeah, I've always been different. Southern Louisiana upbringing in the 60s and 70s. Very intelligent and articulate, and I love people!! Only one or 2 at a time. Noises, lights, tight clothing, and seams - don't even get me started! I'm listening to this video and thinking I'm probably somewhat autistic. I've discovered many of the accommodations on my own.

[@cobaltpterodactyl]

I thought everyone was better at containing their anger about noises than me. I thought I was so emotionally immature. Turns out most people don't get panic attacks because of noises.

[@trishg1358]

I was diagnosed as having “Asperger’s” in my late teens, but was not given any tools at that time. I was basically told that it was why I couldn’t people properly so not to expect to be “normal”. Now in my late 30s I got reassessed and diagnosed with both ASD & ADHD and am working to put supports and accomodations in place. Thanks for the great info 🙂

[@lydiab5564]

The simple phrase 'it makes sense that I feel this way' is making me well up! Very powerful

[@pau_pecas]

Im a late diagnosed autistic with adhd 38 years old. I was suffering depression anxiety and eating disorders all my life. I really like that you don’t edit the video because I feel represented. Thank you ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome 🙏

[@theanadevine]

I like the “right”s and “k”s - they aren’t excessive and they make me feel encouraged.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha ok thank you for the feedback!

[@Lavagirlems]

When you say bring a blanket, I always have a pashmina/scarf in the winter. It’s essentially a portable, fashionable blanket.

[@lyajob7098]

I’m self diagnosed autistic. My therapist told me to look at individuals on KZbin autistic community to see if I relate to them. Ever since finding your channel, I feel like I understand myself so much more. I have my official evaluation for ASD in December. I’ve always had sensory problems, especially with sound. Going to the grocery store I have to prepare myself mentally. I bought noise canceling earphones but I agree with you in that I don’t want all the noise filtered out. I would love to try the new flare earbuds because they’re just too expensive for me to buy.

[@user-ww1bg7st2h]

Same! Everything same! 😮

[@gabyhernandez4955]

I’m a 29 year old recent diagnosed ADHDer who realized that she also has autism after getting on medication. The craziest part is I’m a therapist and no one ever noticed! Thank you for this video and I think the headphones would be helpful ❤

[@sushipurse]

I’m going through the same thing I’m in graduate school and I was suggested by my therapist to get a ADHD diagnosis I’m feeling overwhelmed

[@della2836]

Your comment feels like me!!! Only older. 😂😂😂 (and yea, I heard the planes too.)

[@julianegele]

Toe-scruncher here! 🙋‍♀ I was diagnosed in my early 30s with ADHD and am pretty sure I'm in the autism club as well but have not yet pursued a diagnosis. I am turning over new leaves with embracing the brain and body I have and advocating for and meeting my needs without apologies or shame, and everything about this video is so affirming and supportive. I FEEL SO SEEN!! I so appreciate all of these accommodations, and the overall vibe of this video and channel. These are such transformative work, and you make it so accessible. "Who cares? It's 2024! BE WEIRD!" YESSSSSS! Let's start a neurodiversity-affirming revoluuuuution!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

hi toe-scruncher!!

[@sweet_veganmomma4188]

My daughter and I always used the asl sign for “I love you” when we were stressed or could see the other was stressed. This often led to minutes or hours of couch time cuddling and listening to music or watching a movie that we had seen a million times so we didn’t have to think. We didn’t know then that we are both autistic and that I’m also adhd. It was rough but we figured it out. Now we are very close. She’s 24 now and in school to be a psychiatrist! Thank you so much for all you do. I’d have given anything for these resources when I was a young mom. Or even to have known why we were so different! I know you’re helping so many people and you are amazing for that! Thank you!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🤟

[@TeamJesusGo]

Great job! ❤❤❤

[@LisaBaldwin]

I just spent two weeks crying over everything. I’m grateful my family quickly caught on to why and started just leaving me be instead of bombarding me with “what’s wrong mom” over and over again.

[@Amy-ky5wr]

Oh I feel for you, I've done a lot of crying in my life! I hope the crying is cathartic and makes you feel better, and that overall you're doing ok. Because if not, and it carries on, you can go see a doctor as it might be clinical depression. Just cos you're autistic (assuming you are) doesn't mean you gotta put up with depression. I suffered depression of varying intensities for over 2 decades before I finally got put on an antidepressant. I had little faith in it to start with, but it has revolutionized my life! Far less crying, far less obsessive negative thoughts, far clearer mind that I'm back in control of, virtually no depression in years. And long-term depression can cause cognitive decline - and I had started to feel dumber - before starting the antidepressants. Anyway, I hope you're doing well ❤❤

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Please remember that even if they are family, they cannot read your mind. It probably would have been very helpful to explain from the start that you would like to be left alone. Direct communication is important, even when you are having a tough time it is important to communicate what your needs are with your loved ones.

[@siennaprice1351]

@@fantasystaplesuwu1554 I’m a terrible communicator. I bottle my emotions up from other people because these are my problems.and nobody else deserves to carry around the weight of my problems. Besides, I feel like my emotions aren’t important enough. So I’m mean and hateful toward myself for feeling the way I do. Because nobody else in this world feels this way. I don’t sugarcoat anything. I tell it how it is, it’s called tough love. When I tell myself to just shut up and get over it! That’s my way of respect and being encouraging.

[@blackbirdfly0128]

Late-diagnosed autistic adult here, and the BIGGEST game-changer accommodation I have found is non-verbal communication. I personally use ASL when I lose my words and it's been such a relief to find a way to stay engaged within the limits of my capacity.

[@Beafree1975]

#6, I feel like I really had to hear that. They were all helpful but this one really hit home. Today I was supposed to fly out to visit family, I ended up having a shutdown because I felt so overwhelmed that I was running on fumes without eating or sleeping. My husband told me it was better that I cancel the reservation than being much worse if I continued to push through it. Having that permission meant so much to me, I was close to doing it anyways but I had this thing of "I can't throw that money away, I have to go through with it. I don't want to let my family down." I ended up cancelling, I'm now recovering. Yes, my family has no clue (they don't understand) what I'm going through but I'd rather take care of myself than care about their feelings.

[@carolynmacdonald7024]

Yeah, that's a difficult reality of it. I went on a trip a couple of years ago with my family and I felt really pressured to be on the go with them as much as they wanted to be... But their threshold is much higher than mine and I needed quiet, alone time. Add to that that I was in an unfamiliar place where I didn't have all my usual self-accommodating items, and the fact that the heat in our AirBnb didn't work and it was cold all the time and it really led to me being extremely dysregulated and having a meltdown. I didn't listen to my body enough and I ended up snapping on my sister over something that, in hindsight, was really stupid and that I normally wouldn't have reacted so strongly to. But eventually I accepted that I was really dysregulated and when my family were going out visiting somewhere yet again, I instead just let them know that I wasn't feeling up to it and I really needed to stay behind and get myself sorted out. Luckily, they understood and got on with things. But not everyone does understand and you do often receive undue pressure and stress from other people to do what they want you to be able to do, at the expense of your own well-being, happiness and health (even though you really can't do it and shouldn't).

[@vivianriver6450]

I'd like to add something about the "sensory friendly place". A few weeks ago, I met with an autistic friend at an outdoor coffee shop; counter service only, no dining room. Within about ten minutes of our meeting, we were assailed by rain and stiff wind, so we decided to go meet at a Starbucks. We sat awkwardly at the Starbucks, and several days later, I realized why our meeting felt so awkward: There were few people inside that Starbucks and we felt like we may as well have been a museum exhibit, like anyone in the room might find our mundane, autistic, conversation to be the most interesting thing in the world. The next time we met, I made sure to meet in a place we both enjoyed visiting, but where there would be other people, so we could feel like we blended in with the furniture and potted plants; that was a much more pleasant visit.

[@ArianTudor]

Don't put me in the drawing, as I already have some similar earplugs from other brands and don't want to keep someone else from getting a pair, but I wanted to mention how helpful the earplugs are. Some environments (malls, movie theaters, a particular glass and concrete room with multiple conversations and people yelling) and some days, just having a person next to you talking is made so much easier to handle by the simple act of blocking out some of the sound. I am in the process of being diagnosed as a 28 year old, and one of the accommodations I've started using is having a fidget ring. When I'm at home in a controlled environment I often don't wear it, but if I walk out the door without it I immediately notice. For clothing, I have found that I am much more comfortable in structured clothing, like a suit and tie. Even when it is impractical, I still like to wear the suit, because it is comfortable. Straight jackets look super comfortable, but I feel like that wouldn't be as acceptable for a trip to the grocery store...

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing!

[@Ab3ndcgi]

I often wonder tho, to which extent everybody would benefit from those "accomodations" beign widely spreaded as human-centered design, rather than beign made out to be an necessary exemption. Admitedly, some unwanted exposure may be inevitable because of the nature of the work or the tools used. But there's so much more that could be done in terms of urban and workplace design in order to reduce stress and provide sensory outlets. I worked for a time in lighting design, and we used color temperature there to benefit circadian rithms and sleep cycles. Also volunteered in urban farming before my diagnosis; and it is astounding the amount of noise cancellation and temperature regulation one can get by simply adding greenery. Something I definetely enjoyed a lot, but everyody noticed once they enjoyed it and compared it with the habitual levels of noise in the streets before the landscaping process took place. All this to say, I think we can rightfully say many acomodations are also a matter of workplace and environmental health that affects neurotypical people too. Even if they don't notice it, or find it as incapacitating as us.

[@Amy-ky5wr]

Hmm did you mean straitjackets, or just jackets that hang straight - not tailored at the waist etc? If the former, definitely might get a bit of attention at the supermarket, yes! 😅

[@ArianTudor]

@@Amy-ky5wr yes, classic asylum for the criminally insane type straitjacket. I guess I spelled it wrong. You can buy one, but at a little over $200, it's not worth it for me.

[@Amy-ky5wr]

@@ArianTudor I wouldn't be able to deal with not having use of my hands. But if you like the idea and would find it comforting maybe you could make something similar. Also straitjackets need someone else to tie you in and release you, so if you adapt another item of clothing you could make one that the wearer can operate by themselves.

[@ninabrownsilberman7919]

I always do the looking at the menu ahead, but never knew why. I can't be part of a conversation, manage the sensory environment of a restaurant, and be social all at once. The more available choices, the worse this is. It helps me to realize that I need to do that, versus being over-focused on what I will eat.

[@JLSearfoss]

My husband (50M) is recently embracing his Autistic traits and realizing how much he’s been masking his whole life. I would love to win a pair of Flare earbuds for him to use. He has chronic pain and still manages to work-full time as a manager. I’m ADHD and have been in burnout since January and out-of-work. I’ve been going back to school online (44F) since March 2024 to become an ICF and PAAC certified personal coach for people that are ADHD/neurodivergent. My husband won’t buy the earbuds due to trying to conserve finances, but I think they would be a HUGE game-changer for him. Your channel has been a huge asset to both of us and we thank you for doing all you do for the ND community!

[@canUfeelMYface]

Do people with autism have brains that never fully develop? I have always been told that our brains are fully developed by the time we reach 30 and it seems to me like it would be impossible to have a neurodevelopment disorder once the development phase is no longer taking place.

[@gray_mara]

​@@canUfeelMYfaceAutism and developmental delay are different things. Autism is a disorder of development, where the brain is different. These differences are lifelong. You can't grow out of autism. And autistic people are just as intelligent as neurotypical people.

[@canUfeelMYface]

@gray_mara Are you agreeing with me ? Correcting me? Just blasting me with fun facts?

[@gray_mara]

@@canUfeelMYface Your comment indicated that you didn't understand the difference between a disorder of development and developmental delay. However, I get the feeling that you're spoiling for a fight, so troll away, I guess. More fool me for assuming that someone who asked a question was in any way interested in learning.

[@canUfeelMYface]

​@@gray_maraI'm saying that a trout and a goldfish are both fish and for some reason that has prompted you to tell me that I don't see the difference between a goldfish and a trout... I'm not a smart guy and I suspect that you may have confused my dumbness for trolling.

[@Roshi_Goth]

Hello! I was diagnosed at 32 and I’m currently 32, so actually a month ago. I just found your channel and I want to say I appreciate your video very much! Thank you! Also I love you all who reads this comment and may you have a wonderful day! 🙏🏾🖤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🙏 thanks for your comment! so glad you're part of the community here

[@tbella5186]

I got my Flare earbuds a couple weeks ago, they've been 100% life-changing! I told my husband they are like sunglasses for my ears! Communities like this helped to set me on my current path to prioritizing my mental health. It's taking time on the Adult Autism evaluation though.....Specilized Healthcare is tough when your extremely rural.

[@squace_]

whoa, i love the sunglasses comparison. i'm excited to possibly get to try them!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad you love your earbuds!! Thanks for your comment.

[@shaunasnow-capparelli3675]

Accept your patterns and create space to accommodate them. This is HUGE!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It changes everything in the best way!

[@SimplerTimesHomestead]

I am a late diagnosed autistic with ADHD and and am sensitive to sounds and smells. Often a sudden or loud sound d can trigger a migraine. Thank you for helping others!!

[@TurtlesRockALot]

OMG me too - I would love to see some research on the interaction between the two. I'm very newly diagnosed with autism, 10 years with migraine. I'm really hoping that getting the autism sensory overload and burnout managed better will reduce frequency and longevity of my migraine attacks.

[@azuldragonfly]

Noises and smells trigger anxiety and migraines for me too! I found that laying down in my dark tent bed, if I’m at home, will help and sometimes even stop a migraine from developing. ❤

[@TurtlesRockALot]

@@azuldragonfly oh stopping the attack in its tracks is the best thing. Here's to the dark, and to gentle living environment for us all

[@catspeakegroove]

Sounds and smells omg yes

[@clarejackson8380]

Some of these accommodations were not even close to my radar! I am a mom of an amazing trans and autistic 15 yo who would really benefit from earbuds like this... He has social anxiety and difficulty starting new things because of noise and new places. Right now he wears headphones everywhere, but is now at a new school and trying to get comfortable walking on city streets to and from. It will be very helpful for him to be able to also hear what is going on around him for safety and confidence in his new surroundings. Thank you for having this offer; I feel blessed to have a chance to receive these for him ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're very welcome! Thanks for your comment.

[@PaulaRoederer]

I would like to try the earbuds.

[@wundrwoman30]

I always want to have deep conversations when I'm doing mindless tasks. It drives the people around me crazy. I thought I was so different because of it but now I feel like I'm not the only one.

[@Starrfizz]

My daughter is in high school. She was just diagnosed, you can't tell she's struggling either. But she is, and I would love to give her these so she is easeful in class.

[@vickyhill4107]

I didn't realize how much noise affected me until I went to our first live work conference post COVID. I guess working from home and then suddenly being surrounded by hundred of people all chatting away made me even more aware of my sensitivities. I would love to try the earbuds. I've tried some loop ones but didn't get on with them.

[@LinguaLinguistics]

This is SUCH good advice. Id often ignore my need for accommodation and power through. Now Im in a 2 year burnout with multiple health problems, including ptsd. Guys treat yourselves kindly ❤ good luck

[@madogmillie]

Late diagnosed at 63! So grateful for all the help that’s out there.

[@wolfdreams2000]

Awesome! Same here! In January, I was 62, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, and I'm so grateful for the online resources 😊

[@Stacy-s1s]

Diagnosed at 62.

[@margilvi5890]

58

[@jodele5878]

Snap ... well that makes me feel better that I wasn't to late 😮

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

Self diagnosed at 65

[@1SaneManiac]

Diagnosed as autistic at 32, ADHD at 33, and one thing I've realized is connecting the feeling of having earbuds in my ears correlated with wanting to put my fingers in my ears as a kid. It calmed me then and calms me now. Having something like that would be a WONDERFUL way to be more regulated without appearing rude!

[@teleportmanteau]

Just bought mine… woooo

[@ivanasimic2072]

this is trauma response, not autism

[@1SaneManiac]

@@ivanasimic2072 care to explain?

[@eminemilly]

​@@ivanasimic2072yes explain. Def have trauma and as a teen always wanted my earbuds in. Scored high on online assessments of autism but not diagnosed

[@elil8156]

I’ve always worn headphones and listened to music to help me calm down, didn’t understand that I was autistic until later in life. I love the idea of the earbuds to help take the edge off of noises while still being able to hear and converse with people day to day and not seem as standoffish as wearing actual headphones!

[@jennyboda8421]

I’m also a mom on the spectrum. It’s 10:30pm. I haven’t eaten today. I’m so tired from the emotional exhaustion today that I can barely lift my arms and I’m dangerously close to falling asleep again. This video helps a lot! Thank you. 😊

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome. Hang in there! You're not alone.

[@lauradeneault3525]

It's crazy how much I feel like we are so similar and yet have pretty different lives. It always amazed me because it is not something I experienced with people. Most of the time, I feel alone and misunderstood. God, I feel emotions and tears now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're definitely not alone. Thanks for your comment! I'm so glad you're here.

[@Flowersandshotguns]

❤❤❤❤

[@crafty_owl]

"It makes sense that I feel this way."

[@VulpaVulgaris]

Both my partner of ten years and I are late-diagnosed autistic adults in our thirties, who struggled through most of our lives. Only 3-4 years ago did we realize we were neurodivergent, and immediately started trying to learn how to accommodate ourselves, which was always very difficult since we spent the majority of our relationship living with other people who triggered us, out of necessity and poverty. A couple years ago we each finally got a pair of Loops earplugs to use, and personally I love them and the way they feel and sound. But my partner says the same thing you do, about it feeling too muffled and claustrophobic to have the sounds completely disappear. Since I am also physically disabled, he does most of our public errands like going out and to the grocery store for us, and I know how much he struggles with the sound when grocery shopping, which he has to do multiple times a week. I think he could really benefit from having some earplugs like the ones you mention, and would just like to enter the giveaway for him to hopefully try and like them, as we don’t really have the money to buy them ourselves at this time. Thank you for all your videos and all you do! 💕

[@anemiab3746]

Thank you for the video. I am currently in burnout and working on treating myself with love and new accommodations for myself. I am AUDHD and suffer great anxiety when I burn out. It has been coming since my mom's death just over a year ago. I had to handle everything myself, from her estate to the clean out of her place. I made the mistake of trying to push through. I definitely need accommodations right now. ❤

[@AJ-ks9ef]

Some really great tips, thank you! I love the look of those ear buds. They are not so attention grabbing. Kind of like how hearing aids used to be huge and obvious and now they make some that are barely visible. It's not about hiding everything. It's about how you don't necessarily want to have 20 conversations about it a day, because people are curious about things they see. Those look more like the earbuds everyone uses for communication and listening these days.

[@thedavidlewis]

As a very late diagnosed AuDHDer, noise has always been a trigger. Combine noise with heat and 🤬🤯🥵 Earbuds have been a lifesaver for me.

[@47retta]

I have lots of sensory issues with sound! I used to work at schools and so many things there freaked me out with sounds, such as the loud bell in the hallways when classes changed, and pep rallies. The best thing i have done for myself is automating my bills! This was a great list! ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for your comment! so glad you enjoyed the list

[@crobinsmusic]

Watching this as a 53 year old who received my official diagnosis TODAY. I love my calmer ear "filters" and would love to be able to try the new style as I am constantly readjusting them in my ears and can't make it through the work day without them. Thank you for your videos they are great.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Congrats on your diagnosis!!! 🎉

[@crobinsmusic]

@@MomontheSpectrum thank you

[@steveyak2983]

I work as an electrician and am often surrounded by loud noises at work that I like to block out with ear plugs, but it feels like every 5 minutes I'm taking a glove off to fish an ever-dirtying earplug out just to have asked someone to repeat a quick joke more often than actual important information. I'd be really interested in how those ear plugs dampen the noises in my work environment

[@amyevans1237]

Maybe ear muffs could help instead?

[@galamander_1327]

​@@amyevans1237I worked in construction for 20 years. Quality lightweight adjustable ear goggles (like Peltor) do protect hearing better than ear plugs. You can remove them, or pull one side open, without transferring dirt into your ear canals. But they still need to be moved to hear someone talking. There are some goggles, made for shooting, that electronically muffle loud noises but allow quieter sounds like speech through. They don't work perfectly, and they are a bit too blocky and heavy to wear all day, IMO.

[@MadScientist512]

Noise cancelling earphones might be good for that if you can make'em work with gloves.

[@galamander_1327]

@@steveyak2983 Peltor makes some really comfortable, adjustable, and lightweight ear goggles. You can slip them on and off, or pull one side open to listen, very quickly. No touching the part that touches your ear. They also protect hearing better than earplugs, in my experience, even the flattest, lightest models have greater dB reduction. Peltor also makes some fancier ear goggles, with speakers inside of them. They're designed to cancel out loud sounds above a certain decibel threshold. They are designed so you can be around sudden loud noises, and still hear speech or quiet sounds in between. Obviously if the background is constantly noisy, they won't be any help.

[@tealkerberus748]

I would love headphones for my son that would allow him to hear me speak without having to pause his audio and take the headphones off first. Unfortunately with my migraine and chronic pain I haven't found anything in headphones or earbuds that I can tolerate. It's going to be a real challenge getting back into the workplace and needing to wear earmuffs when even ordinary headphones make my skull hurt so much.

[@sweet_veganmomma4188]

I finally found cotton, yes COTTON, compression socks!! I love them so much. MukLuks brand makes a bunch of different kinds so make sure you find the cotton ones. They’re at Walmart online and sometimes in the store. They’re a lot cheaper than most compression stockings and so comfy without making your feet stinky!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is great info! Thanks for sharing!

[@twopointwow]

Just realized this weekend, at 57, I'm not just ADHD, I am on the spectrum also. Mind blown. So, brand new subscriber. Thanks so much for being here and sharing, and doing so unedited! ❤❤

[@jessicariggs3181]

I’m a Mom and Grandmother with a busy multigenerational home full of love and noise😂. I hear everything, no matter how hard I try not to. Sensory overwhelm can become so intense from the noise I leave what’s happening in our home to sit alone in the quiet. Yay for coping! Boo for missing out. I would love to try these ear buds to see if they help me manage noise stimulation.

[@ssdrdr]

I'm recently diagnosed (last month at age 57) and work as a school-based peace officer / mental health officer. My diagnosis explains why I tend to get along so well with with the autistic and other neurodivergent kids. Lots of good ideas in this video - especially the ear plugs. I can definitely relate to your issues with "school noise". Thanks for all the great content.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome. Thanks for your comment.

[@j.apenrose7896]

Grocery delivery was huge for me. I've always found shopping so stressful and I wouldn't have the energy to do anything else for days, I'd get overwhelmed about tiny things, and just hated it so much. Then my husband pointed out that we can just get groceries delivered, and that's fine. It's made life so much easier!

[@lindaboiteux1758]

Hi Taylor, At the age of 78 & after lots of research, I finally figured out that I am (unquestionably) autistic. That realization has led to enormous improvement in my way of viewing my whole life. I'm almost 80 now & feel like a kid who is just beginning to learn! Please enter me in your earbuds give-away. My family has often said that I have "dog ears". Many sounds bother me - sometimes sounds that others don't even hear. I once surprised a store manager by tracking the location/source of a high-pitched sound made by their hidden surveillance alarm system. Please enter me in your earbuds giveaway. I think they might be very helpful. Thank you for all you do!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome! Thanks for your comment.

[@leoalw8965]

I'm am 37 years old and recently guessed I might be autistic. This list of yours is each and every bit what I have been adapting and accepting during the last years together with the help of my so very supportive wife. I cried a lot during the video because without knowing why, I started listening to myself and no longer force myself all day long through exhausting situations. Thank you so much for your well researched and explained channel. Viele Grüße aus Deutschland!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Your comment makes me so happy! Thank you for taking the time to share this with me.

[@neverbacktoreal]

I just looked up the goblin tools. I am sitting in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. Finally I don't have to do so much thinking anymore. 😢 I feel like a new chapter of my life is starting today. Thank you so much.❤

[@janinebean4276]

One thing that really helps me is voice to text software. i have autism, adhd, brain fog, and possibly NVLD, and the mental load of hitting all the little tiny buttons is something that really takes a lot of spoons for me, and it really opens up my brain space for other things and makes it feel less heavy to get words down

[@henriettesmit5951]

What software do you find the most helpful?

[@ajrt_2118]

All my life, I've been doing most of these things and people thought I was weird or being dramatic. But now I'm in a new job where I don't get to control things as much as I always have and falling back on these def help me keep from having a meltdown I never knew was the driving force behind me needing to do these things. And now it all makes sense.

[@jeffreylyons1531]

My best move was to ask the professor to ask people not to chew gum in class. I never had any push back, and it would make a massive difference in my performance. Having to listen to that would often cause me to just walk out of class, it was by far the most difficult part of college before I simply asked for them to stop.

[@kensears5099]

Ohhhh myyyy..... Hot tea (not herbal or flavored, but real black tea, strong and malty, then with milk, the Irish way) is THE staple of my life. In a way my day's activities are all interruptions between my tea drinking (I exaggerate a bit, for humor...but not much). It's a must at breakfast, at least two cups, and then during the day my psycho-visceral system just lets me know periodically, "Tea. NOW." And now that you've associated it with an autistic accommodation, yes, I realize those moments are the ones where the internal sense of...what can I call it...psychic self-disengagement ("disregulation," I guess?) is picking up speed, like the rumble of a cattle stampede still over the horizon but you definitely feel its vibrations heading yourway. Yes, my whole internal system says, "Tea. NOW." And it brings me back to a... a place. That place that's my place, the place that means "me."

[@patriciagarrity8220]

Exactly! Well put!

[@evelynn1173]

Im very much the same way. Tea just calms me. When Im understimulated it just makes my body feel less cravey of simulation.

[@toni5543]

im scottish and me, my mother and gran are/were all autistic. we LIVE for tea. its a ritual of calm. tea is always the answer

[@debbydouglas759]

I believe tea has the amino acid L theanine in it which gives you a calm energy. You can buy it in capsule form. We loved our tea when I was growing up. 😊

[@SholupToklo]

Same. Except the American version of caffeine and casein which for our autistic household includes organic cream or milk, organic coffee, blended 50/50 dark roast and decaf. It’s just enough to kept everyone’s minds focused without mania and bowels moving easily without sudden disruptions. Years of trials led to understanding this balance of ritual, stim, and nutraceuticals was vital for each of us here at home.

[@krystaldavis4873]

Thank you Taylor for commenting on the convenience fees!!! I felt so guilty about spending the extra money that I did a boycott of anything that required convenience fees. That lasted for a month and I started, out of necessity, incorporating some back into my processes. I realized that it seriously helped avoid so much dysregulation and need for recovery time that, when I can afford the fees, the convenience of not going to the grocery store, etc… is 100% worth it for me. I still feel guilty about it. It’s so nice to hear that I’m not alone in this. That helps me accept my needs better and not be so critical of myself for this. ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It's been a game changer for me!! I have to stop comparing myself to others because you know what, this is a fantastic accommodation for me and really saves so many spoons over the course of a week. It's getting easier to make these decisions but has definitely been a process...

[@randomoldcrone]

I have a 14 year old grandson who is high on the spectrum. Since learning about autism I am now self diagnosed as AuDHD. Life makes so much more sense to me now. I really appreciate the tips on how to regulate. Thank you for sharing this information.🙏🤗

[@jeleckamip6514]

As a recently self-diagnosed autistic mother in my mid to late 40s, I am seeking a solution to manage the sensory challenges I face within my family dynamics. Specifically, I am interested in exploring the use of earbuds as a tool to help me cope with the overwhelming nature of interactions with my adult children, teenagers, and five-year-old. I love your content, btw.❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for your kind words and for your comment! good luck with the giveaway

[@pamelaaban2625]

I went to school to be a librarian, and I worked in an elementary school library for several years. The overwhelm was so great, in part because of the noise from having more than one class in the library at the same time, that I ended up having to leave mid-year because the overwhelm grew higher each year until it was affecting my working memory, among other things. I really hated leaving that career because I have wanted to be a librarian since 5th grade when I fell in love with reading. I also knew I didn't handle high stress well, and I thought librarianship would be a perfect fir for me. If I had the earphones a few years ago, maybe I could have continued my career. Thank you for these accommodation suggestions. I am more hopeful to make my life more peaceful with many of them. 😊

[@lauraknudsen5790]

Unedited is great. I’m not on the spectrum. My husband and son are. My daughter is 16 and in the process of diagnosis. I’ve watched your channel to understand my family members and help where I can. Unedited is authentic. Keep up the great work!

[@andreamoyer]

I am talking on the phone all day at work and I’m starting to realize the phone noise is causing me to struggle a little bit more lately. These would really help me be able to stay at work longer, rather than leaving early.

[@josuesalvad0r]

At 38 years old I just got diagnosed. Years of trying to adapt and change leading to pain and discomfort are over. I'm glad there is a supportive community that we can count on. I wish I could enter the giveaway to try the earbuds but I live in Mexico in the border with El Paso , TX. Good luck everyone!

[@elibell5098]

I would like to enter the giveaway on behalf of Josue Salvador. I would like to mail them to him if he would let me!

[@josuesalvad0r]

@@elibell5098 Really? Wow! That would be awesome if you could do that. Even if you don't win , just your intention to help makes me feel loved.

[@elibell5098]

@@josuesalvad0r I'm so glad you feel loved! I just really felt your need for ear plugs! Community matters.

[@BH-kw8rh]

"That makes sense" is HUGE. This mindset makes such a difference, AND I've noticed that since I've been more accepting and validating of myself, friends and family are being kinder to themselves as well 💜

[@SheritanMay]

I just got diagnosed as autistic in May at 38. I have been surrounded by autistic people(my wife late diagnosed at 30 2 years ago, my niece and my wife's younger sister)and started to notice different things that is similar to them. I am trying different things to see if it helps reduce my sensory overload, especially light. As a teacher I have been trying to accommodate myself as much possible and earbuds I have gone back and forth with. This channel has helped sooo much with being able to relate to late diagnosis and how to help and support myself in life.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💓

[@jillianzurliene1435]

Just diagnosed and it's changed my life! I love having anything that helps make the grocery store and any other loud places easier. ❤️

[@DitchTroll]

I've seen the statement of a diagnosis being life changing many times but so far I haven't been able to understand how it's life changing. What actually changed for you after being diagnosed?

[@jillianzurliene1435]

@@DitchTroll the way I speak to myself internally now that I have a better understanding of why I am the way I am. Especially when I am struggling.

[@DitchTroll]

@@jillianzurliene1435 So a psychologist giving you a label made you nicer to yourself? The label made you okay with who you are? I'm not judging. I'm trying to figure out for myself if there's a point to me seeking a diagnosis. Just collecting perspectives. As curious as I am, I don't think I would behave any differently with the a confirmation one way or the other.

[@jillianzurliene1435]

@@DitchTroll it's more that it allowed me to shake enough of the imposter syndrome to actually feel comfortable accommodating myself and engaging with the community, which have been way more beneficial than I could've imagined. And not everyone needs that, but it definitely can be helpful to have external validation that you are truly struggling, especially if you have trauma that has made you doubt yourself, family that is dismissive, or if you struggle with something like alexithymia(inability or difficulty describing/understanding one's own feelings), which is super common in autistic people. In my case, it was life changing. Some other people are AOK without. And thankfully, the autistic community is mostly accepting of self diagnosis and supportive of people generally accommodating themselves. Everybody, if they are able, should do their best to care for themselves the best way they can, and everyone is different. :)

[@AH-xw7oo]

I have had fibromyalgia for a few years now, and have also recently realized - at 40 years old - that I have likely also been high-functioning autistic all along; now my triggers just also cause physical pain as well. I am excited to find your channel so that I can learn how to ask for the accommodations that I need, so that I can reduce the noise (figuratively and literally) that clogs up my mind and my life!

[@patriciaflickner5392]

Thank you! I even sent this to my daughter. She’s a special ed teacher, and some of her own kids are on the spectrum. I’m late diagnosed autistic and ADHD

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💞

[@DeaconMcClendon]

I am undiagnosed at 50, but your videos are the ones that helped me take the next step. And we’re neighbors in Cowtown :) Thank you so much

[@MomontheSpectrum]

🙏

[@lb5368]

Hi Taylor, I'm back after taking a break from youtube and I am so glad to see this video! You reminded me of a tip I used to use but had forgotten, using the phrase "let me get back to you on that." It is so easy to feel pressure to answer questions quickly in situations where I'm overstimulated, and I do not like my answers in those times. But, asking for a while to answer (and then actually answering later to fulfill the questioner's expectations) allows me to integrate the request, consider my answer, reject alternatives, and settle on the right response. That process takes me so much longer than other ppl might expect, so I need to remember to give myself grace and time to compose a response. Thank you for sharing these tips, and for all you do for the community ❤️

[@Sunila_DragonladyCH]

I use Flare all the time, they make such a huge difference!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes! love to hear it 🙌

[@teleportmanteau]

Just ordered mine, can’t wait!

[@tiffknox6158]

So many of these “helpers” I’ve discovered on my own through trial and error and just paying attention to what naturally feels better to me. I just turned 57 and I’m having a hard time getting a diagnosis. My therapist and my psychologist both asked me, “Why does it matter to you if you are autistic?” Blew my mind. I felt like saying “Just because it’s difficult for YOU to dx it doesn’t mean I should go without one.” But I said nothing. They clearly don’t understand that it does matter to me. I need new doctors but these are the ones covered by my insurance.

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

Good luck!

[@DitchTroll]

I recently began learning about autism and discovered that I very well might be autistic. I'm 39 and I'm struggling with the point of a diagnosis, though. How would it even help? Would it actually change anything to know one way or the other? So I've been asking myself, "why does it matter?" I'm curious why it matters to you.

[@prodigalson1870]

Why are you having a hard time seeking an evaluation? I’m 60 and I was just evaluated and diagnosed three weeks ago. Sounds like you need to ditch your therapist and find a new one.

[@carlawilliams6730]

​@@prodigalson1870It depends on your location. And your insurance. Where I am at, there is a huge wait list for any of the reputable ones (even more so for adults), and most of them don't take my insurance...I actually was on the wait list for one center, and they said it could be months and months and months to be scene, so they referred me to another, lesser known agency that does evals. So i'm paying cash, which some people don't have the ability to do. Very sad, but that is the reality of healthcare in my area, in California.

[@PrettyBoots]

Ugh, I hate those "Why is 'x' so important to you?" questions. Because I want to understand myself and get the resources I need, why else????

[@kaarpym845]

Intentionally stimming: I’ve been trying this and it’s amazing a) what my body wants to do if I just let it (larger stims) and 2) how good vocal stims make me feel (exhalations after vocalisations feel so good - like a big release of pent-up energy).

[@BuckeBoo]

Took all the things with me on a recent vacation. Flare earbuds, noise canceling headphones, Ono roller, etc. Love the information you share with everyone!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Awesome! So glad it's helpful to you. Thanks for your comment!

[@gaylefranks7854]

Recently diagnosed at 67. Love all the fidgets you’ve recommended. I would love to have the earbuds so my husband and I can enjoy eating out without me stressing over the dish scraping noises. 😢

[@MomontheSpectrum]

dish scraping is the worst!!

[@esmemartinez8976]

I like that the video is unedited. It's easier to follow along for me and I don't mind the length of the video because the content is high value.

[@AlAl-xd2ep]

I am finally having my Autism assessment next month after waitimg for over 3 and an half years🥺 M Now I'm nervous, confused and frightened of being looked at observed and judged🥺 You have helped me a lot more than i thought possible with your videos and your calmness..Thank You so much🥰

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💞

[@umeleijon9279]

“funny” story, i broke down when supposed to do an IQ test during autism diagnosis process. too much pressure, afraid to seem stupid but also afraid to not seem autistic enough because of lifetime of masking. then they reassured me i could still get a diagnosis without the IQ test and that actually breaking down helped them diagnose me lolol // also if you also are used to masking / pretending to be “”normal”” please know it’s okay to feel like you’re faking autism at first when you’re avoiding eye contact, fidget etc in front of doctors and psychologists - ignore those ingrained feelings - you’re not actually faking anything. actually it’s important to not seem too normal so throw all that social training out the window 😂 in that setting it might feel unsafe but you can do it just for an hour or two with the testers, let the inner weirdo out ❤ i promise you they have seen weirder and doesn’t care plus it’s literally their job to be able to deal so

[@naginiriddle7091]

​@@umeleijon9279 I find myself worried I am "too normal" to be diagnosed. I've flown under the radar for so long and masked for so long that I'm not even sure what is normal me. I find myself scared that they won't diagnose me with autism and tell me I'm imagining things and I'm "just fine," even though I am definitely not fine, hahahaha. I feel like the people doing the testing would need to follow me from birth to now to really get a good picture, because just 2 hours doesn't seem like they would get much

[@Thorinbur]

@@naginiriddle7091 I am convinced 100% that I am not neurotypical (want to seek bot Autism and ADHD diagnosis), not only because of YT videos of people with diagnosis whose stories are very relatable, but from my own experience like comments "just ignore it, when I am getting furious at something/someone being noisy". I always thought people mean ignore the anger and deal with it, not that they can actually not pay attention to the noises, stuff like that). That is my bigges fear, going for a diagnosis (both autism and ADHD, and hearing that I am "normal", just lazy, have poor communiaction skills, and are a slob, have poor time management etc. The thing is noone gonna solve my issue for me and I know that and diagnosis will not make anything go away, but I want a confirmation and explanation. I also want to be able to come to a comment section and share my experiences without feeling like I am inserting myslef and my issues into a community I dont belong in and that I am immaging things and looking for excuses. I am struggling more and more and getting negative diagnosis with no eplanation I think would break me completely, even more than I am already.

[@JennaGetsCreative]

My sister and I are both AuDHD and we find body doubling really works for productivity. When she was doing her master's degree, she'd ask Mom to come over to her place while she was studying. She'd be studying, Mom would be marking her students' work (elementary school,) no requirement to talk and be social, just another person in the space who's going to notice if you're not working on what you said you were. My sister's much more ADHD driven than I am. I'm ASD first, and I find working in an office rather than remote helps with productivity because I'm not willing to spend too much time doing something that isn't on my task list lest someone nearby notice. If it's a slow work day and I'm working from home, I'm gonna go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole for an hour or something. Nobody knows the difference, nobody's gonna see it, nobody's gonna stop me. At work, I share a double cubicle with the other accounting clerk. He just has to lean back in his chair and he can see my work space. We're sandwiched between two others on each side with these 4 foot cubical walls that are easy to see over. Across the way from us are the senior office cubicles (with 7 foot walls and sliding doors) and our boss is right there. He can hear us. He can see us from someone else's cubicle in the row. He might walk by at any moment. He's super nice and chill, but knowing he might happen to see me if I get distracted on my phone keeps me off it.

[@della2836]

This makes total sense to me and why I’ve always hated online classes, telehealth, etc. Now I know I’m not alone. Thank you.

[@wimpywitness]

I have recently been diagnosed at 69! I never thought of using earbuds but WOW, I know they could really help.

[@greggseiter1412]

I’ve heard a lot of good things about Flare Calmer ear buds. I’ve had more problems lately with crowds and public places with sound sensitivity. It sounds like what I may need. I’m with you and don’t like complete blockage with normal ear plugs. I love your videos on autism and have friends that are currently dealing with the challenges among their children.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for your comment!

[@ruthbarrett8907]

I realized, after listening to you, my comfort transitioning piece is having ice water with me. Very calming. If I forget, I instantly feel disregulated.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Great suggestion! Thanks for sharing!

[@DanielGSchroeder]

60 Years without this info, thank you so much. From a high functioning ASPy

[@MarilynShaffer-w2y]

69 yr old female aspy here , no one will commit to therapy with me bcz I'm so much older than them. 😢

[@sylvanshroom]

I use the original Calmer earbuds and they are such a small but meaningful impact in my life. They take the sharpness out of sounds around me and make it so much more accessible to be almost anywhere and be more calm.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

"small but meaningful" absolutely!! the power of accommodations

[@patriciaflickner5392]

I love this. I may try getting them without the contest. Sounds great

[@shashakeit013]

I’m 36 years old, mom to two kids, and I have JUST learned that I am autistic. It took analyzing my son’s behaviors and reflecting on how similar he is to me as a kid to begin to recognize how I’ve basically just trained myself to be a master masker and imitator! As a mom I experience overstimulation everyday and I’d love to try the earbuds as a coping tool. :)

[@BeWellReneeLittlebird]

Love my calmers, I’m going back to school and lost one, so I’d love new calmers

[@valliedollx]

There is so much of this that I use and didn't even realize they were technically accommodations. One of my FAVORITE things about working from home is that I can stim and I don't have to worry about eye contact when talking to my boss and I can have all of my comfort items close.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes! working from home is such a great accommodation, if possible