autistic's reaction to mark rober's video

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Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Paige layle, paigelayle, paigelayle tiktok, tiktok videos, autistic, autistiktok, autistok, autism spectrum disorder, Aspergers, Aspergers syndrome, autism in girls, dsm, autistic kid, autism mom, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance

[@Alina-xj7ho]

As a neurodivergent scientists the whole "disabled people won't get a PhD, cure cancer blah blah blah..." Makes me so mad. So many of us go into science, because it reflects our special interest and we find comfort and a purpose in doing research. Like how about making the academic environment more accessible instead of going on about how we won't achieve anything!

[@The10thDecision]

Yep, I’m neurotypical and very comfortable with the fact that there are many neurodivergent people who are smarter and more educated than me and 100% more likely to “cure cancer” than my English major self. 😂 Plus, as an artsy/creative type, I hate the idea that *anybody’s* worth can be measured in their ability to contribute accomplishments like curing cancer to society. So every time he said stuff like that, I was screaming internally.

[@RahRahSisBoom13]

I would argue that many, if not most, scientists and engineers I’ve known in my careers (in aerospace and chemistry) are on the autism spectrum, whether or not they’ve been diagnosed

[@Alina-xj7ho]

@@RahRahSisBoom13 oh yeah totally agree. I'm a biomedical scientist and so many people I work with aren't neurotypical.

[@aanyaprasad6120]

@@RahRahSisBoom13 really? That makes me feel relieved as a possible autistic person interested in these things. I was watching another video by an autistic creator who had lots of trouble keeping a job and I often worry that I might have trouble getting and keeping a job because of things like executive dysfunction and limited people skills. It doesn't help that my dad has told me multiple times he thinks I'll be a failure because of my autistic traits. I'm worried that I'll be a failure because I don't live in a society that caters to me and that my dad is right about me.

[@lolo-ey6kk]

But you do realize he was talking about his son specifically and not about the whole community. He never even said what you are claiming here. I get that he made mistakes but it's not okay to put words hin his mouth either.

[@phantomfrivolity2169]

If you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will grow up it's entire life believing it's stupid. - Albert Einstein

[@YautjaSpacePirate]

I'm a fan of Einstein too!

[@Teneab]

Correction: "everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing it's stupid"

[@ganondorfchampin]

If you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, then the mudskipper is the smartest fish.

[@BubblyFluff]

Einstein was suspected to be an autistic man!!

[@theeccentric7263]

"Every quote on the internet is true." - Abraham Lincoln

[@dited358]

I have to agree, It annoys me when influencers and the public in general calls disabled or autistic people "special" to make themselves look good.

[@popkick8350]

It reminds me of how the mode minority trope has harmed Asian Americans by placing unrealistic expectations on them. The minute they fail to meet those expectations, they suddenly aren’t seen as desirable.

[@danika9411]

It has nothing to do with making yourself look good. It's just polite. Depending on intonation and how you say it of course.

[@Asifroblox]

@@danika9411yeah I agree

[@beautifullights8484]

@@danika9411 What's polite depends on how the other side feels, otherwise you're only doing it to make yourself feel better.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

We are different not special but I do have physical disability

[@jonval8741]

Was at a dad's coworker house. All the four kids were on the Spectrum. The oldest was unable to speak and only scream and squeak. What shocked me was they told me that he was actually able to communicate in Sign Language but they stopped it because they didn't want him to be too dependent on it. I'm sorry do you want to be able to talk with your kid or just struggle because you don't want learn a new language and make him take minutes to figure out he wants something to drink.

[@haleycopans296]

What the actual fuck

[@avery2041]

Wow, what bastards for stifling his only form of communication

[@TheHestya]

Omg, how dare he depend on a language to communicate with others. (sarcasm) The absolute mental gymnastics with that one. Wow. Just wow.

[@nateo200]

Wow lol that is really messed up.

[@helenhenninger835]

'Only scream or squeak' is a bit inaccurate though. I had a wonderful conversation with a largely nonverbal autistic young girl who had so many different tones of screams and squeaks that were really eloquent, especially when combined with her eloquent hand gestures and postures. We managed to make a meal together, eat, pack up the dishes all the while having a good conversation about what the meal was like and what the rules in the house are...and she was the one telling me, since I was the one visiting her house. We just need to learn to listen

[@joshuab9226]

It’s pretty shocking how often people talk about neurodivergent people in the same way they’d talk about their pets. There’s almost a romanticization there too-they’re like “oh, would that life could be so simple”-the exact same wistful tone people use to talk about the halcyon days of childhood. You just never hear people talking like that about people they view as neurotypical.

[@NinjaBunni13]

It’s very infantilizing and ignorant, I agree.

[@soph5976]

@@gluehfunke1547 as an autistic person I can guarantee you that we're not offended that people with lower IQ are called neurodivergent, stop speaking in our behalf if you're not one of us. What's offensive though, is using the term Asperger like you just did in your comment, as it perpetuate the use of functioning-labels (which is extremely ableist). And not only that, the term is associated with nazism, (I'm not gonna dive too deep into this you do the research if you want to), so you might want to reconsider what words you use and be more careful with the terms u choose. have a good day.

[@laureng8rb]

@@gluehfunke1547 So use your words and don't just use labels. Neurodivergence is just one piece of a person if they are

[@laureng8rb]

@@soph5976 I totally agree. A person is made up of so many things. This need to label everything we are and accumulate them is very unhealthy. And the 'aspergers' label drives me nuts! Gotta glorify those nazis and their finding functions for people instead of killing them. I'm Jewish so I get that part too well. It's also just one part of me and doesn't tell my whole story.

[@amybe3]

@@gluehfunke1547 I’m not offended either. Low IQ it’s not part of autism but people with autism can have a low I Q. In other words, you don’t need to have low IQ to meet the criteria. The author of this video has repeatedly mentioned that autistic people are all different (it’s a spectrum) some of us, like me, with ADHD as well. I think what we all want is create awareness, not confuse people. Regardless of IQ levels and or the amount of symptoms presented, everyone on the spectrum communicates, just different than neurotypicals.

[@magerkosimpsonsaphirechees8032]

Who wants to tell this guy that my dad, who is suspected to be autistic, works in a lab to cure lung cancer

[@ahmedyahia3475]

I'm suspected to be autistic and I'm soon to be Pharmacy doctor. Also I'm fluent in three different languages . What the hell does he mean we can't have phds ???!!!!

[@magerkosimpsonsaphirechees8032]

@@ahmedyahia3475 👏👏👏

[@annee.p9885]

I was diagnosed with autism (technically Asp*rger's, but I don't refer to myself as that anymore), and not only can I speak two languages fluently, I have played violin for almost 7 years and now am playing bass, which btw am learning pretty quickly, and I also can draw. So screw you, Mark Rober.

[@magerkosimpsonsaphirechees8032]

@@annee.p9885 yeah we can do just as much if not more than neurotypical people. And if we don’t want to, that’s totally fine too. We are put in a world not meant for us so no matter how dumb mark rober will make us sound, I don’t see him dealing with any of the same shit we have too

[@magerkosimpsonsaphirechees8032]

Also I am very new to the autism community so sorry if I said something that isn’t correctly worded

[@matthollywood8060]

The kid finally being given a basketball and effortlessly sinking difficult shots just gets to me. It's kind of a strong metaphor for the social model of disability. It wasn't a lack of skill preventing him from playing basketball, it was the environment. They assumed he couldn't do something, but it turned out, given some accommodations he was actually very good at it.

[@TheHestya]

Absolutely. He was perfectly able to do 3-pointers the whole time and they only let him play for 4 minutes at the very end of his time there. And they celebrated that? What the hell? I'd be fuious af. He should have been the head of the team the whole time, clearly (Idk basketball so I'm using loose terms here). How many of those kids could even do one per game? I certainly remember the boys in my school years playing basketball and they were mostly pretty shit. He goes over there and sinks in 3-pointers like a boss. And he wasn't on the court the whole season? Why? How?

[@aspiechan420]

Right lol ppl need to curb their ableism!

[@colourriot3520]

hearing that story pissed me off so bad. My immediate thought was 'so you benched your best player the whole season?' absolute fuckwits

[@kirameki]

I was thinking the same thing. Like why did they never let him play? Even if he couldn't play a whole game he clearly was skilled enough to do pointers at least. It's so frustrating.

[@amandacarlton3032]

I litterally started screaming at my TV when I saw this part. That kid was obviously very good at basketball. He should have been on the team. I think it's so sad that he could have led the team to victory for that many years and he was basically reduced to a disabled mascot. He sank 3 pointers!!! He should have been let to play, even if he couldn't do a whole game, he still deserved the chance. He finally got a few minutes to show his worth and it's during his last game. I'm also not good with body language, but the other kids on the team seem shocked that he was good.

[@changeling-child]

The thing about the letters not being “literary masterpieces” is such a typical thing for how disabled children are always treated differently. Like, with neurotypical kids they are just allowed to have quirks and interests and to write goofy letters if they feel like it. With autistic kids everything is pathologized, hobbies become “restrictive obsessive interests” and everything they do is obsessively measured and compared to the normative milestones they should be hitting at their age. It’s no longer enough that they drew a picture or write a nice letter, it has to be analyzed for what it says about their development, etc. Disabled kids are also just kids, not scientific specimen to be observed and studied at all times. 🙄

[@sonjasocks]

Yeah I agree. Personally I interpreted him saying “It’s not a literary masterpiece” as “He’s a 12 year old kid not some weird being that just wants to write it’s not exceptionally good (or bad)”. Like, it wasn’t trying to show that his son was “dumb” for being autistic (I don’t agree with that at all to be clear)m it was trying to show that he’s a normal kid.

[@kewlkidz1079]

This one right here hit me hard.

[@siennahartle9069]

@@sonjasocks I had the same interpretation. I wouldn’t describe any twelve year old’s writing as “a literary masterpiece” but that’s to be expected. At that age kids are still learning and refining their skills. And Mark’s point was that his son didn’t need to write at that high of a level to make other’s happy with his letters

[@wojciechniemirski1782]

To be honest I felt the opposite - jokingly saying that something a child did is not a masterpiece is a thing you can say about every child. He didn't mean "this is obviously not literary masterpiece, because he's autistic", but rather "this is obviously not literary masterpiece, because he's a kid". This moment felt like Mark was treating his son like any other child more than anything in his video

[@blasianking4827]

@@wojciechniemirski1782 I agree. I certainly understand and will not dismiss anyone else's feelings on the matter but I did not get the feeling that Mark was attributing that to his autism.

[@bowers8242]

Recently I saw a disability rights activist speak, he said something like: "when I talk about what disables me, I don't mean my body, my brain or my voice, what disables me is the way that I'm treated by other people, by society." This video shows a big example of this problem in this Mark guy. His kid might achieve a lot given the right accomodations!

[@andrewhazelwood698]

Not to mention they're not putting any expectations on their child, which will likely result in the impressionable boy living up to their preconceived notions of his ability or "functionality" as they would phrase it. Equating him to a burlap sack of sand merely weighing them down, but no worries... the sack is colorful and has a smile on it, so all is well.

[@beatriceotter8718]

That's called the social model of disability, where the focus is on figuring out what support you need. (As opposed to the medical model of disability, where any deviation from the norm is a problem to be fixed.) It's really helpful in a lot of ways, and I especially like the distinction between what impairs you and what disables you. As an autistic person, I have a lot of impairments, things my brain doesn't do well (or at all). But what disables me--prevents me from participating in life and society as fully as I wish to--is mostly the way society treats autistic people (and everyone else who's different).

[@catherineyoung3889]

@@andrewhazelwood698 You are drawing a lot of conclusions about this family from a five minute video and a 25 minute reaction to it. You have no idea what expectations they have, and none whatsoever about what supports they are using to help him achieve.

[@catherineyoung3889]

I used to dream that with all the right accommodations, all the right supports, I could somehow nullify the impact of my daughter's autism and Down syndrome. If I just believed enough, saw her as able enough. And she taught me differently. The fact is for many of our kids, there are limitations. To accept them, to see the beauty in and around them, is not a problem. Unless you have walked this journey as a parent you can never understand the daily, hourly puzzle of both encouraging their best, while accepting who they are. This "Mark guy" is doing all right. He has my respect, as one parent to another.

[@cellychu9266]

@@catherineyoung3889 "Unless you have walked this journey as a parent you can never understand..." yes, we can, there are some autistic people out there in this comment section saying that what this "Mark guy" said in his video is, well, bullshit. Who else would understand and have the right to say something about it other than autistics? No one else can, not even neurotypical parents who do nothing other than infantilise their own children.

[@TheSeedOfChange]

If that kid was able to sink 3 three-point shots, why was he not allowed to play on the team?

[@heatherwheeler601]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@sarabrenna5525]

Exactly.

[@christinevr7698]

I was thinking the same thing.

[@hannahckirk]

That’s what I was saying at that part too 😩 like so you’re telling me he single handedly won the game for the team ? So then why the hell wasn’t he playing for all four years ?

[@amypattie7004]

I WAS SO MAD AT THIS QUESTION

[@BabyMango]

It’s definitely weird that mark limits his son. My son is autistic (I honestly prolly am too) and loves putting perfectly sized objects into perfectly sized holes that he finds around the house. My first thought was “wow he would be a great hair transplant surgeon because his dexterity is amazing” lol

[@sarahgumball8597]

Very good thinking! That’s so creative !

[@DaniCal1forn1a]

This made me giggle because that honestly sounds _really fun..._ the satisfaction when something fits perfectly in something else is just absolutely peak 😍

[@BabyMango]

@@DaniCal1forn1a right? Satisfying as hell 😂👍🏽

[@JackCavis]

Yeah, I remember practicing putting random objects into holes in my second day of transplant school!

[@mith2946]

I think you people don't realize there's different levels of autism. Like this girl for instance is not on the extreme

[@ThisBraveHeart]

I also think that the sensory overload part was done well! Maybe a trigger warning would’ve been handy, but that’s what life is like for me. That could help my husband and children understand why I shut down in situations like that because they have no clue at all.

[@kitcat2449]

True, I think it was a great audio explanation of the feeling but trigger warning would've been good.

[@sentientplant9658]

I have generalized anxiety disorder, and the sensory overload got to me, too.

[@Allies_Equines]

I have multiple mental disorders and it made me start stimming

[@MoodyMickey]

I feel like a warning would have been good to have, but I didn't mind that it was in the video. I have SPD and even though my sensory issues aren't exactly like how it was in the video, I want to know how other peoples experiences are

[@offsewingdragons9142]

Im sensitive to noise, it *was* kind of similar to what i go through.

[@noenya8047]

When parents say because of autism my kid will never “go to Harvard” “be the first person to do this...” “of cure cancer” etc & etc. It sounded like autism is ruining the parents chances on pushing their dreams on to their kids. That sounds like stage parenting but much worse.

[@reindeerage]

very good observation! it's like, neither did you? so what? you wouldn't say about a neurotypical child that 'they won't be the brightest, bestest, strongest people ever but we love them anyway.

[@thehuntressdanni2972]

It's not because of Autism. It's because of Neurotypicals that their son might not. But definitely NOT because of Autism.

[@kit76149]

@ The Huntress Danni THANK YOU. It’s neruotypical people who refuse to give us opportunities and look down on us because we’re different

[@catz537]

Also like....how tf do they know their kid won't go on to do any of that stuff? Autistic people can do those things. NTs just hold us back and then say "welp see they just can't do the things we can"

[@StarDustwolf77]

Its really annoying. It makes it sound like we can't do anything because of being autistic. We're still capable. I'm planning on becoming a writer in the future :)

[@ramonajohansen3980]

On the whole abortion thing: There's a big difference between not wanting a kid, and wanting a kid but deciding that the kid you're getting is wrong.

[@sarabrenna5525]

This.

[@dsalazarm]

+

[@Chloe.Miller21]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@solarsatori]

Yes, this explains it so well!

[@feliciya7152]

+

[@queenofshiba1998]

Hey Paige, This is a very late comment, but I also thought this was an appropriate place to share this. To preface this, I am an Autistic/ADHD woman who wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood. Even though I wasn’t diagnosed until later on, the symptoms of both greatly affected me throughout my childhood. I would experience movements that I do to self-soothe. Ten years ago when I was 14, my mom wanted to go on a whale watching tour in Santa Barbara. It so happened that Colleen Ballinger and GloZell were also on that boat. They were filming and my dumbass was standing in their way without knowing. I noticed I was in their way and felt really uncomfortable. I straightened up and went into one of my strange chin on shoulder movements I do to self-soothe. Fast forward a year, a few of the girls in my ballet class are really big MirandaSings/Colleen Ballinger fans and came across one of her videos. It is a video of her going whale watching with another KZbinr. In the video, they feature a “girl seeing the camera and posing”. That girl is me being very uncomfortable with a camera pointing at me. To be fair, it really does look like I am posing, and I do look a lot older than I am. I don’t think they were trying to make fun of autism or anything, but it was so uncomfortable, and as a teenager I thought my privacy had been violated. There were so many comments about the “clueless posing girl”. Although these comments didn’t necessarily hurt my feelings, they made me so uncomfortable and like I had so many eyes on me without me intending to. I hated that. It is not that I dislike attention. I love performing, and have done several shows where I love performing for people. I just never wanted to have adults showcase my discomfort to the world as me trying to pose. Also I used to be a model and know how to pose. No self respecting model is going to pose looking like they are trying to scratch their chin on their shoulder :) Sorry for the long comment, I love your content and it’s calming to know I wasn’t the only one who has experienced discomfort with this creator! Also, I would like to keep anonymous, so if you happen to know me irl for some reason, pretend like you never saw it. Most people in my life do not known about my diagnosis because I hate how a lot of people infantilize autism, and I am afraid if I let them know I have it, they will take me even less seriously than they already do. Thank you so much for your content. It has helped me with my journey and self-acceptance.

[@popkick8350]

That must’ve been horrible. Even if the intention may not have been to be exploitative, the result was exploitative in a way.

[@recoveringsoul755]

I believe if anyone is going to film you or photograph you and make it public, they need to get your consent in writing for them to use your image

[@Shafeek258]

I wish you all the happiness in the world ❤

[@sugarwoofle6067]

The thing that bothered me the most was when he said "My son may not be able to do (put list here)" My first thought was... yeah because you continue to tell him and everyone around you that he will never be able to. Just the same as a "normal" person, if you tell your kid all the time that they can't do something... they won't.

[@twistysnacks]

I'm having this exact issue with someone else right now... I don't want to get into details because this is a public forum, but basically I know an autistic teenager who has been told his entire life that he's incapable of even basic things. Every moment of his day is highly controlled, he still has parental locks on his tablet at age 18, he wasn't allowed to have a phone until he was 17 because he "might do something inappropriate", he was never taught how to do many things because his mom assumed he couldn't handle it. Yeah, he might make mistakes, but so does literally everyone. It's just when you're autistic, people now have a tendency to view all your mistakes through that lens, instead of thinking it's a normal thing to go through.

[@maysenelliott3464]

I remember when my brother was diagnosed with Autism and many other mental disabilities, so many people asked my mom “oh how did you take the news?” “How as that change been on you? Are you going to try and get him help to cure it?” And at this time it was at the peak of “vaccines cause autism” but my mom always replied with “he’s the same son I’ve always had. He’s no different than he was yesterday and won’t be different now that he has this label. I’m just grateful I know so that way I can help him where he needs it and teach others when they don’t understand him.” I don’t think I’ll ever forget her saying those words to so many people and almost all still not getting what she meant

[@pinkerhero]

thank you for sharing that, the correct and only response

[@elisabethgronlund6842]

I too get asked that a lot. But it never came as a surprise to me, I could see it from the beginning, and when I myself got diagnosed years later, I realized why I had known so early on that they weren’t like the other kids. :-)

[@allisond.46]

How's your brother doing now?

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

Please go watch hbomberguy's video on autism anti vaccines. It I.. Fuck man it shocked me beyond anything I nearly puked after watching it it made me physically sick

[@sithumiperera5212]

❤

[@Ratsoftheswamp]

He talks about autistic people like we're a separate species. We are humans omfg, this is so upsetting. I'm literally nauseous.

[@jennifervictore5471]

He said he was scared to put this video online. From all these abusive sarcastic comments, I can see why. Grow up.

[@princessmanitari4993]

@@jennifervictore5471 they aren't being sarcastic, they are being truthful. He did not talk to other people with autism on this, he went to the first organisation that actually tries to 'fix' them

[@Bat_Fiend.]

I mean I sort of feel that way sometimes but that's only because of stuff like this video.

[@XANDRE.]

If you haven’t read a history book recently, or even just the news, let me give you an update: that is how most people talk about other people - like they aren’t people!

[@winosandbar5077]

I kinda like that part. Humans are trash. Being somewhat different from them gave me hope.

[@LolitaCraft]

I swear if I hear someone unironically use the words “differently abled” or “special needs” or talk about how much autistic people have “taught” them to be more kind/compassionate/inspired/whatever one more time I’m gonna tell them that my “superpower” as an autistic person is kicking their ass.

[@DreamtaleEnjoyer]

Oh I'm gonna use that. Hasn't happened to me yet thankfully, but if it does... "So what's your, you know... special ability?" "Well I can shove my fingers so far up your nostrils I scratch your cranium. Wanna see?"

[@-belue-6697]

I know this was awhile ago...but just tell them your "Superpower" is KUNG-FU and then proceed to demonstrate it to them! 😂 🥋😋

[@BraxEvans]

I genuinely have no idea what the current prefered term is. Because those terms were first adopted in an attempt to be more respectful. Is disabled really prefered? That doesn't apply to everyone on the spectrum. And try not to take my head off. This shit is NOT readily apparent

[@LolitaCraft]

@@BraxEvans From my experience, 'disabled' is the preferred descriptor for disability in general, including autism. Disabled isn't a 'dirty' or 'bad' word and there's no need to try and dance around it, it's just a neutral descriptor for a person like 'tall' or 'dark-haired.' And of course not everyone on the spectrum is going to consider themselves disabled, in which case just it's generally acceptable to use 'autistic' or 'on the spectrum' to describe them.

[@BraxEvans]

@LolitaCraft I don't think its a dirty or bad word to avoid. I think I have used the other terms because disabled makes most people think they require a wheelchair or something. Its to avoid unnecessary confusion. Like you said not everyone with autism is disabled and where do you even begin to draw that line. I like on the spectrum - that feels safe.

[@rygaloproductions8553]

I remember, last year, a friend from high school told me that he wished he were autistic because of our “special abilities.” I, as an autistic person, went on a rant telling him that being autistic is NOT a fantastical thing. I listed off all the disadvantages an autistic person has to deal with, including personal issues and societal issues. I told him to just be himself and love himself as he is. I’m glad I was able to help him feel better, as he was feeling down at the time, but the fact that he said that really ground my gears.

[@emilypanda5959]

I remember a doctor deciding whether to do lifesaving surgery on my unborn twins. She was wondering if they might be born with learning disabilities and was saying it wouldn't be worth going through with the surgery if they were disabled. We fought for the surgery and my girls are now healthy (and wonderfully autistic) but the abelism was disgusting and I've never forgotten that moment.

[@duncanbug]

Holy crap. That’s unreal… I’m so sorry.

[@hectorcanizales5900]

Why would it be wrong to have a change at not having disabled /neurodivergent children ?

[@XxNekoMoonxX]

@@hectorcanizales5900 the comment was saying that the doctor was suggesting that the daughters weren’t worthy of having medical care because they’re disabled

[@hectorcanizales5900]

​@@XxNekoMoonxX but they weren't disabled at the time. Their disability could have been prevented. As far as I can tell from the comment, the twins were going to be born probably mentally disabled if they had the surgery. I don't see anything wrong with not wanting that surgery in order to prevent mental disability. But yeah, I guess if the doctor were to refuse it then there'd be an issue.

[@boinkadoinkk]

@@hectorcanizales5900 As the original commenter said, it was a lifesaving surgery. Either the twins would've died, or they could live with learning disabilities. It's gross that the doctor even implied that the kids wouldn't be worth saving if they weren't going to be born neurotypical. The only option for them to survive was for them to risk having learning disabilities. That shouldn't be a deterrent for a lifesaving surgery.

[@saraannemarieroet]

The way he addresses the viewer as "You and I" in opposition to "people with autism", shows that he immediately assumes the viewer is not autistic. The fact that it does not even OCCUR to him that the viewer could be autistic tells a lot

[@ViktoriaMagrey]

For real. It felt like being an undercover agent. Ah, yes..."You and I"...I, of course being a neurotypical...I couldn't possibly be autistic...**Puts on sunglasses**

[@e.a.coldrick]

I honestly didn't care about that, in my humble and personal opinion. It kinda made it a bit more accessible and persuasive to neurotypicals who might be anti-autism or scared by it or something :) just my opinion, don't hate me!

[@waterwraith1189]

@Lizzie Coldrick I’d feel similar if videos and messages like that weren’t a dime a dozen.

[@theviewer6889]

@@e.a.coldrick The thing is is that kind of language re-enforces the othering they've got going on in their head. Someone who is anti autism is going to walk away from that video *still* viewing autistic people as something different than """normal""" people. I get where you're coming from, but from my experience in order to break down those bigoted walls you need to start with all the ways you're similar.

[@e.a.coldrick]

@@theviewer6889 I totally understand, and I think your point was very well put! Maybe it's just me but I quite like feeling 'special' and 'different' hehehe ;)

[@alicialewis6388]

That dude is going to hold his kid back. I have autism and my parents didn't know until I was in my 30s and have a Masters degree. *It was definitely a good thing that they didn't know. They would have held me back too.* My son has autism too; which is awesome because we understand each other so well. He loves science, math, and learning. I can't wait to see what his special interests are throughout his life. I want to follow his journey and see what tools I can provide for him that I never got as a kid. He doesn't need to follow in my footsteps, by any means. I can't wait to see what he decides to do. The world is his to explore.

[@abbymaddox7616]

I agree. I'm also autistic but undiagnosed. I have a friend who was diagnosed at 3 and his parents constantly held him back. He's 25 and his mom constantly tells him where he can drive and they have control of his finances and bills. He got $25,000 in a settlement in a car accident and he only got $1,500 for himself, giving the rest to his mom for chiropractor bills and for a vacation. It's up to him to give his mom money but $20,000 sounds like a lot for the vacation they're planning, and if it's going into a savings account for him he should at least be told about it since it's his money. They still claim him on his taxes even when he said he wanted to claim himself.

[@Zoe_Coles]

@@abbymaddox7616 that sucks 😢. That definitely sounds like financial abuse. Maybe he should look into the laws…

[@candlewickchronicles]

I’d like to put this out here that Autistic people are capable of anything. Just because they may require accommodations doesn’t mean their achievements aren’t their own. I’m allistic and I have a lot of autistic friends who are the most successful people I know. They’re top of their class, they’re kind, they have bad days, they’re people just like the rest of us. As a person who doesn’t have autism, it’s important for me to watch your videos. I love what you do and thank you for using your voice.

[@nickwilliams430]

Hell even they could be a navy seal if the military did not disqualify people just for having it. (Not saying servere cases of it or any other serious ailment should be allowed to serve)

[@MissMeganBeckett]

He’s a kid, almost no people write literary masterpieces. Why is he putting down his kid?

[@frostedsilver]

Right? He's ignoring that 99% of neurotypical people also won't do those things. Why does he insist on making a point of MY SON WILL NEVER DO X AND Y AND Z?

[@stefanhoimes]

I think he was trying to dispel the savant myth in a palatable way for the most general of audiences.

[@emperoricy3598]

LIKE NO 12 YEAR OLD WILL WRITE A MASTERPEICE THEIR A PRETEEN LIKE STOP PUTTING YOUR CHILD DOWN HES YOUR CHILD????

[@leftmikerightmike]

He was making the point that his son writing these notes is special not because they are literary masterpieces, but because the time and care he puts in getting to know others and the effort he makes to show them.

[@jonella9262]

@@leftmikerightmike I agree with u

[@loops8274]

Can we talk about how that kid should have been on the team the whole time if he can sink 6 incredible shots in a single game?? What's that about?

[@chloem3029]

The first thought that came to my mind

[@joshthomas2494]

And mine 🏀. He should deffo be playing in some team at least.

[@leftmikerightmike]

Look up the video. He sank the shots because the kids on the other team let him, not because he is a competitive basketball player.

[@KimonoSuki]

@@leftmikerightmike idk about you, but you could put me in front of a basketball hoop with zero opponents and i could throw that ball 10 times and not make it in even once , standing still, as close as possible. he was making it in from the 3 point line ??

[@cutecupcake627]

yeha i dont know anything about basket ball but i was like thats GOOD THO!!??

[@jcfreak2007]

Ok but the kid who was the sports manager who they let play for the final few minutes of the last game of his senior year... Clearly he proved that he should have been a playing member of the team the entire freaking time!

[@Adrian-xj7dt]

literally just came down here to say this like???? if he's that good at basketball why was he never in the games before then????

[@matthollywood8060]

I would guess he likely has sensory processing issues or other difficulties that make it challenging for him, and they may have only been able to coax him onto the court this one time, but it would be so much better if neurotypicals would let us communicate our limitations, rather than just assuming them. It also demonstrates that when you assume someone is incapable, you may be missing that they are perfectly capable if given some accommodations.

[@guesswho5790]

That last line: "I hate that I have to keep convincing people that I deserve to live". Wow. I am neurodivergent but only really sensitive. And was always belittled and shunned and invalidated when it was "too much". Got BPD as a result and it has felt like I am relearning that I do in fact have a right to live. Sorry for making it about me, but it was just so darn relatable. We need to stick to those that want to see us thrive and shine. Very glad you chose not to give that bully any attention. But very sorry there are still people who just don't get it. Even having an autistic child... They'll be just like this guy. Condescending and whiney.

[@nussknacker9827]

When we autistic people empathize with someone we usually tell them something similar we went through ourselves. It's not making it about ourselves or trying to pull the attention towards us. It's the most genuine, heartfelt way to show how much we understand and empathize with that person, That we truly and deeply care about them. NTs saying "oh that sucks" Or something similar doesn't feel empathic at all. We often perceive it as dismissive and cold hearted. I'm telling you this because you were worried about making it about yourself . You're not. You're showing empathy 💕

[@stellannie86]

His son might be able to invent a cure to a disease or do something else whatever the heck he wants to, but might _not_ when he sees his dad said he can't.

[@miavirtuosa]

Exactly what I was thinking. He keeps saying that he won't be doing this and that cuz he "can't", but doesn't realize he, Mark would probably be the reason why.

[@yourdadisizzy]

mark literally worked with nasa and then turned round and said his son would never be the first person on mars. like the kid literally has an in and his own dad is dismissing him cos he's autistic.

[@wanderingman5]

Nah bro

[@baxterbunch]

Exactly. I always tell my son he can do anything he wants, it’s so important to believe in your children especially if they’re autistic, it’s not hard to encourage and support them, it might be harder to do certain things but it doesn’t mean they CAN’T, help them succeed not fail..

[@OldBon3s]

EXACTLY!! That part really, really, bothered me. I really wish more people would realize that us (autistics) are actually incredibly intelligent. We might not be able to do everything neurotypical people can but they most certainly can’t do all the things we can do! In my opinion the autistic Albert Einstein couldn’t have done what he had done if he was a neurotypical.

[@charlottem5325]

when he listed all the things his son would "never" do... just about broke my heart. "he'll never cure cancer," not with that attitude! grow up and accept your son for who he is- autistic! he's autistic, his needs are not special, and he can do what he wants with his life, provided he's given the support he needs!

[@lucygoosie7726]

I’m sure that Mark will support his son in everything he wants to do, but he’s just being realistic about his limitations and saying that he will love and support him no matter what. To be loved unconditionally in spite of your shortcomings is better than being loved with the expectations that you will overcome them… because if you don’t overcome them, you lose your value. He’s just saying that his son is valuable just being who he is without unrealistic expectations. My son may never be able to live on his own (he might, but he’s 12 right now and it’s hard to say), but my parents are in complete denial and think he will just “grow out of it”. I don’t want them to have those expectations and be disappointed in him when he needs care for the rest of his life. I don’t care either way. I think it will be great if he can move out on his own and I think it will be great if he just moved into our in-law suite and I still need to help with daily care. I enjoy his company and love him with all my heart. But my parents expect this to be a phase or something. They think I just need to do a better job parenting. I do have struggles because of my son, but my biggest struggles are that my parents don’t understand and they don’t think that a grandson of theirs could be autistic. I’m also on the spectrum and they completely deny it.

[@CristalianaIvor]

Yeah this "special needs" is so idiotic disabled people don't have special needs, they have the same needs as everyone else; food, drinks, security, love they just have problems getting their needs met themselves, even as adults

[@RoyalReyna]

I get what you're saying, but the vast majority of parents can safely say their child will never cure cancer so I don't think he's putting his son down. But you're right, he's autistic not brain-dead

[@spacebar9733]

@@lucygoosie7726 that’s realistic for ANYONE!!

[@itspowers9107]

@@lucygoosie7726 That's totally different. You are ok with doing whatever is best for your child and accommodating their needs. You hope that they can live on their own if that is what they desire but do not deny or invalid that your child may need help at various times (or forever) with daily things. Mark on the other hand said his son will NEVER do certain things. Time after time research has shown that when we have low expectations of others they will underperform. It's very consistent. We all need set high expectations that every child is able of anything. What is important is to do that while also being aware that the child has needs unique to them that could last their entire life. This isn't exclusive to disabled people either. All people need certain things.

[@cyannamitchell7075]

Hi Paige! I am recently diagnosed with autism, as a 27yo woman. I wanted to let you know that what Mark says around 15:10 that “while he won’t get a PhD to cure a horrible disease”, demonstrated MARKS total lack of awareness… when we look back in history at the most influential people who did precisely those things, almost ALL of them exhibited characteristics of autism. That their brains being wired differently allowed them to see things that most are blind to. I also think it’s interesting because I am getting my PhD studying virology and emerging pathogens to prevent horrible disease LOL 🤣 The closed-minded, end-game-only mindset needs to END. Why are the standards and expectations higher for someone who is disabled?! I swear some people dont think before they speak. Ugh i would love to have you in my circle to discuss this more!! 💕

[@TheHestya]

It's horrid. I will never cure a horrible disease, but my mother never said that about me, because who even has that sort of expectation from their child anyways?

[@audreyclement5634]

I didn’t know i was autistic (and didn’t want to be) for so long because of videos like that, only showing super visibly autistic of disabled people. Then i met a friend who looked and acted completely “normal” and realized we had so much in common. He told me really later that he was autistic. He helped me understand what it can be and why i felt like that. He’s very successful btw, and is into arts NOT maths.

[@kishiakaik6513]

He is into arts 💗

[@jonathanm4518]

"Just because an autistic person is non-vocal doesn't mean they don't know what you're saying." Yes. I'm autistic as well, and it's common for me to respond with a nod, shake of the head, or a smile or frown. I often get a strange look, as though the other person is waiting for me to say more, but what's really going on is that they said everything perfectly, and I'm acknowledging that. Why do neurotypicals feel the need to make people talk and talk and talk?

[@emily1759]

It’s what they know and have been taught to expect in social situations. We are taught how to communicate verbally with each other and this is one thing they were likely taught. Societal “norms” and the expectations that everyone responds similarly is unfortunately something that most often must be challenged through our experiences. As frustrating as it is, most of what I personally have experienced has been ignorance rather than anything with true malicious intent. Wanting verbal validation within a conversation isn’t reserved for Neurotypicals. Many people with ADD and who are autistic need it as well because social cues are often hard to read which can than lead to a break down in that communication. I, myself, really need this to keep a conversation going but I understand that it isn’t always possible.

[@solfh]

Oh darling.. welcome to the real world that you will constantly fail to understand. The rules are set.. you either play by them or isolate... like I do.. and I am not autistic. Pretty sick of the nonsense out there. So I have a small group of people and I am fine. It probably shouldn’t be like this but “”””””normal”””” people are a pain in the ass.

[@sigh824]

Exactly! Like I can’t make myself speak sometimes, so instead of saying hi I’ll make eye contact, smile and wave and ppl act like I’m being so rude, even when they know I’m quiet as default, when I’m literally trying my best. 🤦🏿

[@aleclorian7329]

because talking is how we communicate? i understand some people process things differently, but we did not invent language to uh, not talk and talk and talk. its not weird you know. its pretty standard. its why we made millions of fucking words. to use them.

[@sigh824]

@@aleclorian7329 it was a rhetorical question. Why are you so angry about people venting about their communication problems

[@justasleebylilguylittlesle1496]

"The letters aren't a literary masterpiece" Yes, a child wrote them. What, are you grading him on performance like an English Teacher, or ... ? Why does it matter? Furthermore, that's just not how you treat creations made by YOUR child. It doesn't matter if it's not good by your adult standards, it's good enough, and the fact that it was made by YOUR child should give it special meaning, anyway.

[@justasleebylilguylittlesle1496]

He's literally saying that for other people. You just don't. That's not ... It doesn't work that way.

[@macandfries6765]

@@Navi405 yes

[@huskylover8167]

Idk he is 12. Neurodivergents would be able to write a full essay at that age, so I think that is what he means

[@lunashins]

@@huskylover8167 nah, I think he’s j exaggerating it to get the point across. Like “yeah, Scarlet won’t cure cancer or anything, but she has a great impact on her community”

[@nctsgrass]

He wasn't saying that to "grade" or even critique the letters. Just to send across his point, which is that the content of the letters isn't what makes his son's value. He clearly loves his son dearly, it's very inappropriate of complete strangers like us to psychoanalyse the intents behind his every word like that and make him sound like a terrible dad.

[@kp-da]

My high school band was featured on a local news segment in which they highlighted the inclusion of my friend's brother, J, who has Down Syndrome. My friend, myself, and her brother were all percussionists taught by the same drum teacher. Although "inclusion" is important, I was extremely disappointed in my band directors who were interviewed in the segment, for not making sure to include the fact that J was not simply being included, but he is also learning at his own pace how to play music. He was NOT a mascot, he was a MEMBER. But the whole segment was focused on the inclusion specifically as if that was enough or praise-worthy. Of course neurodiverse people should be included, they should also be respected and be INTEGRATED!!!! Truly!! ♡♡

[@brionismith5566]

" just because they can't speak doesn't mean they know nothing!" Love this

[@zachzackzak]

It's so weird how he makes a point of how not all autistics have "special abilities" but goes on to essentially create a "special ability" for his son. Coloring in a paper and writing a note is a kind thing to do but it is something that a lot of children do, neural typical and atypical alike. Also, the sport section thing reminds me, my highschool once had an assembly where they had all of the kids in the "special ed" kids play basketball while everyone else sat in the bleachers and watched. It felt incredibly exploitative.

[@PaytonsPaws]

That also deeply irritated me. I think it might have been him being like "not all autistic people are math geniuses" but showing that there's something they have a "special focus on". Which is still disgusting and wrong. If he wanted to educate people on who his son is, he should have let his son speak for himself and introduced him like he would have if his son was neurotypical. But let's be real here, if his son was neurotypical he probably would have been apart of his channel a long time ago and we wouldn't be here 😕

[@deinodinosuchus]

yup, we have a basketball team made up of entirely autistic people in my high school. i’m only now realizing how horrible that is.

[@yoyogirl116]

@@PaytonsPaws you're assuming his son has the communication skills to do that. His son could be non verbal. I don't recall him saying anything in the videos.

[@traviscollura2440]

As an autistic person, I’ve always found the whole “autism is a superpower” thing to be very… cringy.

[@deinodinosuchus]

@@traviscollura2440 same here

[@lovelyluhan]

I also hated how he kept saying "Them" and "Us". Why don't people see other people as equals? like WTF

[@ashleebates5708]

It’s so messed up

[@khango6138]

Just clear signs he did not think to include autistic people as part of his audience. I am autistic. I was a subscriber to him until this. Nothing about us without us.

[@BrownDolly]

I hate that

[@Berry-l7z]

I feel like people think autistic creators are too “soft” or “sensitive” but everything Paige says should just be the bare minimum for all non autistics. She’s helped me a lot with my autism and I hope her channel attracts lots more neurotypicals so they can understand more about autism from an autistic perspective (which is the most important perspective).

[@littledoe1617]

I don’t have autism, but I do have ADHD and dyslexia. Your main point that you said that many neurodivergent people are not being supported for their needs, separated by society, limited by neurotypical peoples assumptions of us (and our abilities), and being infantilized is so TRUE. The amount of people that could do incredible discoveries or change, and/or live a normal healthy happy life in this world are not being accommodated, supported, or even believed in. I really enjoyed you commentary and perspective. Thank you 😊

[@sneaksgeeks9008]

You’re so inspiring. I’m a father to a 3 year old recently diagnosed with autism and listening to your experiences and perspectives is extremely insightful and helpful. What resinated most strongly in this video is when you said, “Autism will never be as hard on you as it is on your autistic child.” This is such an important fact to remember in our day to day ups and downs. Keep up the great work and thank you for being unapologetically you.

[@Jemini4228]

I love how your response to your kid's diagnosis was to seek out the views of us autistic people. Hope you and your son are having a great day :)

[@Cee944]

I think what's most horrifying to me about this entire video is that this guy thinks his son will never watch this video or understand what he's saying. Because there's no way in heck he would be saying all of this if his son was in front of him.

[@heyitseyevan]

he probably would because has good intentions

[@Bullboy_Adventures]

Basically like a pet.

[@Diego_2-22]

Not to mention he refers to neurotypicals as “you and I”, which heavily implies, if not explicitly shows, that he hasn’t thought of the fact that an autistic person could be watching his video. Overall, Mark Rober has fallen into the trap of ignorance. I’m not saying that he is a bad person- he comes from a good place and cares deeply about his son- and I’m also not trying to attack him, but as a wise man once said, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

[@KyleRayner12]

There's actually an infamous A$ propaganda piece in which a neurotypical mother talks about fantasizing about driving off a bridge with her autistic kid in the car while the kid's playing in the background. These people have no objection to dehumanizing autistics to our faces.

[@measnick8]

Nothing that Mark says implies this. You're making an assumption based on your own cynical viewpoint. You're taking one person's experience and throwing it out the window because you're making negative assumptions without any evidence to support them. This kind of shit is why it took him so long to talk about his son.

[@emmawalton2849]

Venting a bit Neurodivergence being something of a burden really hits home with me. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 5. I was superrrrr hyper when I was younger (I have since mellowed out) and my ADHD was never really dealt with or talked about. My mom claimed the psychiatrist said that it would "go away" once I was older (when in reality, my hyperactivity just mellowed) and so I was treated like a normal kid, which sounds nice on the surface, but in reality, it sucked. Behavior I couldn't control because of my ADHD was punished and I was treated like a bad kid for those symptoms. Not listening/paying attention was a note on all my report cards. I find I always need longer to learn something, and when I didn't learn at the same speed as others, I was always called stupid or dumb. Stupid, dumb, the r slur were names I was called constantly as a kid (by my own mother). Recently, my sister pointed out how hard my mom was on me about my grades and stuff when I was a kid, more than my other siblings. My mom's reply was "you have no idea what it's like to raise a child with ADHD" which was a knife in the fucking gut. Moral of this story: don't blame your neurotypical child's behavior on them. Help them cope and relieve they're symptoms, of course. But don't act like they're a "bad kid" for something they can't control

[@unit38421]

Let's get real: a neurodivergent person could very well be the first person to set foot on Mars, and if not, he's gonna be a very big part of the reason that we made it there

[@StillGamingTM]

Yup

[@dekippiesip]

Musk himself has autism, and he is literally leading the company that develops the technology we need to get to Mars.

[@powderandpaint14]

Elon Musk for instance!

[@unit38421]

@@powderandpaint14 Precisely who I was referring to.

[@ipga13]

@@powderandpaint14 ...for the wrong reasons

[@Holobrine]

As an autistic person myself, I thought the sensory overload demonstration was actually well done. I don’t mind that he was making the video for allistic people and not autistic people, because we autistic people don’t need to be told how autism feels. We live that every day.

[@LisaCapron]

I think the thing is that he should have put a trigger warning on it so that autistic individuals could skip past that. We don’t need to be told how that feels, we already live it. I get that the allistics need to be shown what it’s like.

[@Holobrine]

@@LisaCapron 100% fair, he absolutely should have done that.

[@katiehorneshaw995]

Yeah I do think he was at least trying to do the right thing. He seems like someone who could learn.

[@kikibplays]

Came here to say this. My neurotypical husband showed me this video to get my thoughts, and while there were plenty of problematic things here, I actually cried (happy tears) at that part because it was the first time I'd seen someone be able to demonstrate what that's like. I've been trying to get family and friends to understand this for years; now I can point them to a video and say "See? THIS."

[@lovelightstarboy]

@@LisaCapron yeah I 100% back this point up because that part had begun to make my ears hurt, and it went on and just got worse and worse

[@kierasaurusfrost]

“Focusing on the best parts of our son” gave me chills in the worst way. YOU CAN’T SEPARATE THE HUMAN FROM THE AUTISM. I AM AUTISTIC. I AM NEVER NOT AUTISTIC. I don’t have moments of being “normal.” I may be hiding/masking, but it’s still there. Saying what he said sounds like he thinks autism is a monster taking over his son so they only focus on the moments when the monster isn’t there. Which makes no sense

[@frostedsilver]

Neurotypicals really believe that when we're acting like them it means we're "normal" for however long we're doing it. But it will never mean that. I wish I could figure out how to convey this to NTs in ways that they would actually UNDERSTAND for once.

[@conradkorbol]

Have you seen people with autism freak out? Have you had your eye poked during one of these freak outs? Have you seen stuff get broken? Sorry, that person should probably feel humiliated if people say that. Everyone involved is embarrassed. I don’t want people to have to see that my friends with autism don’t want it. The people I have worked with don’t want others to see it either. We can’t act like disabilities are fun or like non of it should be hidden. Have you seen a non verbal person piss themselves in middle of a place? I just think it’s weird that we act like all disability behavior is like easy to deal with or that we have to show all of it. Now personally I hate how we treat all people with disabilities like they can’t fo anything. I have got non verbals to speak, I have gotten people who could barely do math to do math on their own, and I have gotten people to do things they never thought. But guess what some aspects of disabilities aren’t meant to be public. We don’t need to share everything. Also a lot of people with disabilities are super uncomfortable sharing that they have it. Even tho I think eveyone with disabilities needs to learn to advocate for themselves. Sorry this was weird and probably upsetting.

[@conradkorbol]

@@frostedsilver yeah it’s funny. I try telling this to all l neurotypicals that it’s their job to empathize. But they never listen to me. I am like “these people you are talking about are super capable. You said they couldn’t do this and I just made them do this. So act like they are adults or people or smart and they will succeed.

[@fredhasopinions]

I know this isn’t the way I’m supposed to think and I wish it wasn’t the way I do think, but it honestly does feel like autism is a monster taking over my brain, except the monster is always there and always growing. Y’all are so wonderfully positive about it, but I can’t do that, not when my autism is destroying my friendships, isolating me, taking away my creativity and all I ever wanted to be.

[@kierasaurusfrost]

@@fredhasopinions I don’t know you so this is just a guess, but it sounds like there could be some comorbidities there. Like anxiety, depression, ocd, sensory processing disorder, etc. Getting medication for my anxiety helped tremendously because it was my anxiety holding me back, not the autism. I think we all just sound positive because we’ve learned ways to make ourselves more comfortable. For example, I know that I much prefer to be alone or only go out with certain people or in certain situations, so I’ve stopped letting people guilt me into doing something I know I won’t enjoy. I’ve found hobbies that I like and I keep them to myself so I have a safe place and activity when I need it. Also being as transparent as possible to the people I’m around about the things I struggle with helps a lot too. Then they know when to give me space or when to include me and whatever. I find that a lot of the part of feeling like it’s a monster can come from the way other people treat you when they find out you’re autistic. It sucks, but a lot of people don’t understand it at all and refuse to try. Also, you say your autism is isolating you, but maybe it’s you isolating yourself because you think you have to. Autism doesn’t do that on its own. It’s not a separate thing. It’s literally the way our brains are designed. It’s often the other things that make us feel that way. Like my anxiety and depression. I think it’s just easier to blame autism because it’s so misunderstood. But it typically is an umbrella over a bunch of other mental health struggles that can be worked on if you allow yourself to really figure them out

[@topsyturvygirl]

People are weird, this reminds me of when I was hit by a car and everyone seemed to be comforting my mum and my cousin (who witnessed it) rather then bothering to ask whether I felt better. I kept hearing your poor cousin, your poor mum and people were so interested in how they dealt with it. I do remember saying, um I was the one who actually experienced the agony you know. It’s like that was too much to relate to, or maybe they thought I somehow didn’t feel pain. People don’t care about actual suffering, it was a weird experience of feeling less than human, I got very fed up with it. Yes witnessing suffering is bad, but experiencing it is, dare I say it, worse and you would like some support

[@Shafeek258]

Sorry for what happened to you , I hope you are better now ❤

[@realpaigelayle]

hello friends! thank you for clicking on this video. I just wanted to say that I by no means wish to "cancel" Mark, or anything like that. he was trying to do something good, as every parent is, for their child, and I appreciate his kindness. however, sometimes you don't always do the right things, and life isn't about being perfect- but learning and accepting new information as we go to make better choices. so this is in no way a personal attack on Mark, but moreso my opinion as an autistic person in this situation, who is directly affected by things like this. I'm thankful I can voice my opinions to you all and have people care, so that we can do better in the future and learn together! **and again, we are not a monolith and I'm sure other auties feel differently, too, so I in no way mean to speak for all of us! this all happened about a month ago, so the fundraiser and things are all over now. some celebrities dropped out, the charity changed their mission statement (but released a thing saying they DO partner with autism $peaks and they DO support ABA therapy, so cool), and the charity was not changed. I just hope we can all learn from this situation to support individuals rather than companies, and to listen to the group affected always. thanks for watching!

[@TomsOnUK]

My brother has autism

[@ellagracexx322]

Hi, I love you so much! Stay strong ❤️

[@Coldasice-c7d]

.

[@patthemat5745]

KZbin says you posted this comment 1 day ago When this was uploaded 20 mins ago. Im acrually confused.

[@itsk4tie]

@@patthemat5745 I think it’s because the video was a scheduled post, so she wrote a comment yesterday and then posted the video today :))

[@MichelaSings]

"He'll never be the first one to step foot on Mars" Um...is Elon Musk not literally famously on the spectrum and probably the closest person out of anyone to reaching Mars? This is just so...horribly tone deaf...

[@Matheus_Braz]

Hes rich tho

[@peachxtaehyung]

@@Matheus_Braz still though. He was able to do it. Marks son will grow up rich too most likely because mark is a youtuber but yet mark is still saying his son will never do anything spectacular...smh

[@MichelaSings]

@@Matheus_Braz not the point. He isn’t saying autistic kids will never do anything important *without money*, he’s saying they’ll never do anything important because they’re autistic - which by Elon Musk being as big of a figure as he is, is factually inaccurate. Big difference.

[@Matheus_Braz]

I see

[@LisaSmith-ed6oi]

Elon Musk is clearly impacted differently. The fact that he did not receive a diagnosis until very late in life clearly illustrates this. He has as able to get through school without it impacting him in a super significant way. It's really a poor comparison.

[@katherineelisabethbrown4751]

Paige, what you said about how people who are opting to have a child are opting to have a CHILD, whether or not that child fits their specific expectations whether physically, intellectually or otherwise, that was very well said.

[@infraled]

As a parent of an autistic child I'm sick of people thinking he's a superhero with magical abilities and how lucky we are. I think that's what Mark was trying to address. Meanwhile, I spend the entire day preventing him from bashing his head from self harm, changing him, and working on simple single words to express himself.

[@powderandpaint14]

Neurotypical kids are not superheros with special abilities either, so? Make sure you give your son every opportunity to communicate in whatever way is best for him, you will find he becomes much less frustrated.

[@cinnamonteeth]

The thing about "Oh my son probably won't cure a disease 🥺" is that some of the most successful people are autistic, and them being autistic probably contributed to their bright minds. Examples are Charles Darwin, Steve Jobs, Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Emily Dickinson, etc. Most autistic people are extremely creative and intelligent, and us being hyperfocused on a specific interest is a recipe for success (if only society treated us better)

[@catherineyoung3889]

None of the people you mention have had an autism diagnosis.

[@randomimminentunknown]

@@catherineyoung3889 Anthony Hopkins? Dan Akroykd? Dr Vernon smith(not speculation) they have diagnoses,

[@catherineyoung3889]

@@randomimminentunknown Autism is a spectrum condition, which means you will see great variability in the severity of those who are diagnosed--anything from "Rain Man" style severity to the comparatively mild sensory integration disorder combined with ADHD. So, to say that Mark Rober is limiting his son's potential because Anthony Hopkins has an autism diagnosis is a ludicrous comparison. At the time Anthony Hopkins was the age of Rober's son, a diagnosis of autism was extremely rare, because it applied only to those with the degree of severity seen in children like Rober's son. In other words, only those whose speech and behavior were greatly impacted by the condition were labeled autistic. So if Anthony Hopkins and Dan Akroyd weren't diagnosed as children, and could succeed as they have without any interventions at all, then they are clearly on the mild end of the spectrum. It isn't that way for everyone who has autism. Some are hit harder. MUCH harder. So let me restate that Mark Rober knows his son. He lives with him, is closely involved in his care and education, and understands a great deal more than people commenting on this thread what his son is capable of. It's ignorant at best, and downright cruel, to tell a parent with a severely autistic kid that their kid would do better if they just tried harder with them, if they just did more, or more of the right things, as if you knew. Try telling a quadriplegic they could walk if they would just get out of that limiting chair! It would be nearly the same level of arrogance.

[@chairninja]

Perhaps society is intimidated by us, if we had the accommodations that often don't take much to facilitate we often excell beyond the abilities of most Neuro-typicals. The majority NT population sees our groups as a threat...it wouldn't be good to have a bunch of disabled people make us look bad...just like every other form of discrimination designed to keep one group down in favour of another group, a group that thinks it is right and better than the other.

[@randomimminentunknown]

@@catherineyoung3889 so what if mark rober lives with his son, your whole paragraph is fallacious

[@SecondFloor2311]

"I hate that I have to keep convincing people that I deserve to live." Those words hit me hardest. First of all because this is a thought/feeling that I experience as well, not that I'm autistic, but dealing with depression and likely ADHD-I and some other stuff (trying to get an assessment soon). Second of all, that one line seemed to sum up your pain so well... not saying that makes me 'know' what it's like to be autistic, and I'm certainly not pitying, I'm sure you wouldn't want that either < oh well... This video (and your channel as a whole) is such good education for me as I have lots to learn about autism and other brains different from mine, so thank you! Keep up the good work! Let's all do our best to make this world into a place where every single human feels like they deserve to be in it

[@MistyJadeYT]

The way he spoke about autism and his son really bothers me. He talks as if we arent people.....

[@beth24421]

24:00 And we all know now how bad Colleen is. Not surprised that she also is ablest.

[@thetonytaye]

especially considering that apparently the miranda character was supposed to be based on her disabled cousin or something

[@zoesworld9767]

It makes me so upset how he completely dismissed his son’s potential to achieve things and reduces him to a source of inspiration and entertainment for neurotypicals. Disgusting

[@xmakeupbyme]

right? He's 12 years old! How the hell do you know what he is and isn't going to achieve?

[@lunashins]

I think he j was trynna say that he has a good affect on his surroundings

[@siennahartle9069]

You’re misinterpreting what he said. There are certain things his son won’t be able to achieve, but he still leaves a positive impact on the world. It’s kinda like who a paraplegic will never be able to be an Olympic runner but they can achieve other things that their body is capable of. It’s not a negative.

[@dekippiesip]

@@siennahartle9069 how do you know he won't be able to achieve them? A lot of autistic people where great scientists.

[@aydinmoradi2555]

That’s what I thought and that was the vibe I was getting from him when he stated all of that

[@Eva-zo4sp]

Hey, just a little critic here. Better help has been exposed for not being properly regulated and not having properly trained psychologists. Basically of being an scam. It looks like a great resource before you dig up, so no shade. But I have to say, great, great videos! I have an autistic friend and you are teaching me how to understand him better and empathize with certain struggles that I don't deal with so keep it up!

[@Eva-zo4sp]

critique* oops

[@Eva-zo4sp]

and I do talk to him about this kinda shit tho, I'm just not going to attack him with questions everyday so yeah thank you hahha

[@AngelStarHealer]

Yeah, this kinda irked me to be honest, like no shade to Paige, I love her videos and I consider that her input greatly helps our community but oh my god, if you gonna accuse someone of not researching into autism and autism speaks (like she did with mark, d'amilio and other celebrities) while promoting betterhelp, sorry but that's hypocrisy.

[@lNDlCA]

@@AngelStarHealer yes seriously

[@siennahartle9069]

@@AngelStarHealer This

[@changeling-child]

As hard as the sensory overload part was to listen to as an autistic person, I’m actually glad he put it in there because I think it’s important for neurotypicals to understand what it’s like. Sensory overload is something I constantly have to struggle to explain to people, because otherwise they’ll think that I’m just not listening or that maybe I have bad hearing, when no, I actually hear everything extremely well, just all at once and with no filter.

[@d.h.4778]

Found out at 31 I’m autistic. I got super super depressed, not because I’m autistic, but because I had a “reason” I was “weird”. Because my life was harder because of all the NT people being mean for no reason, other than I’m disabled, and I’m only considered disabled because they think their lives matter more than mine.

[@swarny6]

I was thinking about the phrase they used… “kids and teens affected by autism.” Imagine speaking that way about any identity… like to say someone was “affected” by bisexuality rather than they were just bisexual. It’s not this separate entity that has touched your life, it IS your life. Your sexual identity is just part of who you are… it’s always been there inside somewhere and you work to understand it. I imagine it must be even more frustrating as an autistic person, when your identity is framed as like virus? One’s identity doesn’t just appear out of nowhere or only color some experiences, it’s part of you.

[@mxmangobutt]

The funny thing is religious people do say things like that. "Struggling with homosexual attraction," "It's not natural," etc. So yeah that is definitely a good example to compare it to.

[@clovermanipura1687]

what's funny is that Mark Rober is mormon... so he actually probably WOULD refer to gay people as "people affected by the sin of homosexuality"

[@siennahartle9069]

@@clovermanipura1687 There’s no credible source saying he’s a Mormon

[@clovermanipura1687]

@@siennahartle9069 his undergarments are sometimes visible (practicing mormons that are in good standing with the church have special undergarments). He has never publicly stated his religion, so it has to be inferred from the fact he's seemingly been seen wearing something that only mormons in good standing can wear.

[@HopeWren]

I didn't mind that part as I don't think my autism is my identity. There is so much more to me. So I am a by definition a woman affected by autism specifically my own.

[@markmywords5509]

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. We don’t ‘have’ autism; we are autistic. Just like a gay person doesn’t ‘have’ gayness. Autism is not an illness we ‘have’ - it is a part of who we are. If autism had been eradicated centuries ago there are inventions, discoveries, talents etc that would never have existed. It can be our obsessions that enable us to excel in a specialist field …. BUT we don’t have to be Mozart or have any outstanding talent or skill or knowledge to justify our existence. Nor do we exist to be pitied or to make neurotypicals feel superior. If our numbers grow in 100 or more years and we become the majority and change the world to accommodate our needs should we be trying to cleanse the world of neurotypicals because they make our world a noisier place?? Of course not! There’s a place for all of us. However we emerge from the womb, we are all human beings - so we should just be human.

[@EF-kk3vh]

This is so well said!!

[@gabriellealiyah1499]

i will exclusively refer to myself as being deeply affected by homosexuality

[@blakehoss6837]

@@gabriellealiyah1499 This made my night

[@merautu]

yes i am also ADHD-ic, i don't have ADHD

[@heaslyben]

Well said. The world would be so crap without neurodiversity. By definition typical folks will never push the envelope, that's what the word "typical" means. It's arrogant to think we understand the mind/brain so well that we can pick and choose.

[@hoodio]

as neurodivergents we already know what it's like to be in a park, we (nts and nds) need to educate nts about what autism is, i don't think showing nts what it's to have autism is wrong in any way

[@popkick8350]

I think the way Mark approached it could’ve been better. There definitely should’ve been a warning. If anything, I’ve seen videos on what it’s like to be autistic, and there have been warnings. If you ask me, those people managed to do it better than Mark did. I mean, autistics have sensory issues, and if they get overloaded because they weren’t warned about some potential sensory overload, they’re not to blame. It sucked because it’s been done repeatedly - Mark is not the first person to do this.

[@mmartens3]

I get what you are saying. My daughter has Down syndrome and people are always talking about how special or happy or spiritual people with down syndrome are. When she was born everyone told me how she was going to make my me so happy and that my other children are going to learn so much about loving people with “special needs.” I get so much inspiration porn I’m my social media inbox it makes me sick. I felt really uncomfortable when I watched mark rober’s video about his son.

[@becks1313]

Maybe if Jason would have been able to play every basketball game, he may have helped that school to a championship. That’s a lot of three pointers in four min. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Honeymoss626]

That's what I was thinking when it originally came out!

[@marcypan8219]

That’s exactly what I was thinking! It really highlights the level of ableism here, that he was made the equipment manager and never even considered for a spot on the team just due to his “special needs” (even typing that made me cringe), then brought out for the last few minutes just so the non-disabled/NTs could feel better about themselves.

[@minibus9]

i was thinking the same, not sure of the year it happened but he could be a pro basketball player

[@UApsych]

Right?! All I could think was soooo he was ostracized because he’s autistic butttt he would have been a HUGE asset to the team as a member.

[@loops8274]

YES! This pissed me off so much when I saw it. That kid tried to show them that they were wrong, and all they could do is "oh wow such an inspiring person with autism". It's infuriating in every way

[@EllietheCatholic]

Colleen actually pulled out of the fundraiser I believe. Not excusing her actions at all but I think she dropped out when she found out who the fundraiser was supporting.

[@ashlieborella8398]

Yeah most of the KZbin community who were supposed to be involved pulled out

[@itskyliereacts]

What 6-part series is she talking about??

[@nostalgiical9644]

yeah a fan informed Colleen what it was supporting and she pulled out and apologized

[@socksandpi1264]

@@nostalgiical9644 I guess I missed that stuff. Though, I'm not very active on social media or youtube, so I'm not really surprised that I have no idea what's being referred to.

[@alyssarodriguez4041]

While that’s great I think it’s still more for show considering her comment on the other video

[@hengineer]

As a father of an autistic son, he's scared more that he's going to be judged for the way he parents his own son. Also I agree with you I couldn't finish his video at how cringe he was being.

[@valf6854]

You used a perfect slogan, Inspiration Porn. I am newly diagnosed Autistic/ADHD woman of almost 70 who can’t get over ableist lingo and actions happening all around me. This idea that Autistic humans don’t or can’t contribute is such insanity. I am a professional artist, scientific illustrator, animator and educator and I bore and raised two children to be awesome adults. The fact I did this without accomodations was very hard on me but there were none available when I was young. That I could be met with disbelief because I could have done all of this as an Autistic person is so insulting. And what about the massive numbers of Autistic professionals who are PHD scientists, researchers, artists, actors, writers, journalists and so on who have made history? The ignorance around Autism is astonishing. Paige, please keep making these videos, they are so important. Thank you so much. ❤ PS I never had the MMR vaccine until I was 30, I have been Autistic all of my life.

[@l.o.l.sfunplayhouse6137]

I hope Mark Rober sees your video because I think he’s truly trying to do his best but has a lot to learn and could definitely benefit from your point of view!

[@katiacleroux7376]

This!

[@callmewanderer8741]

I was literally coming here to comment something similar. He’s trying his best, not everyone is as educated about autism and neurodivergent people. Mark is a good guy and I do not think he meant anything bad by making this video.

[@AranelEruvyreth]

Absolutely agree. I believe Mark had the best of intentions and he is at least doing better than a lot of allistic parents of autistic children. Some don't even care enough to try. I hope he's open to learning and adjusting his perspective. He seems to want to do right by his son.

[@avreegaileyy]

THIS!! YESS!! ^^^

[@musicsaves71590]

I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt but I've seen it time and time again. People with family members that are autistic come out with some "off but well meaning" type of view and they are educated but instead of listening they get defensive. Also he's Mormon and regularly gives a percentage of his income to the Mormon church. This type of thing is so ingrained into him that it's not even funny.

[@smelly4498]

i’m autistic and didn’t realize what he said was harmful on first viewing. now looking back, it seems like in an attempt to “protect” his kid, he is inadvertently putting him down and belittling him. i think his heart is in the right place, but that’s no excuse for speaking this way about somebody. i was diagnosed late and didn’t experience as much babying which is why i think my perception was that the video was positive. thank you for helping me understand your point of view, this was a good lesson for me to learn.

[@Screwshrew]

Same here reading these comments have taught me a lot about what he was saying and it not being that good

[@MoodyMickey]

I found it upsetting that the things he said in the video; avoiding the word disabled, and using phrases like super power is something that didn't alarm me. Not because I was expecting it but because that's exactly what I heard teachers say in school

[@1EmuFan]

Yeah. Didnt realize it was bad until this video

[@digiscream]

To be fair to Mark, relating to the bit in the park, this video _was_ designed for NTs - I haven't seen anything else like that section, especially not on a platform like his, which actually shows NTs a little slice of what the world's like for us. I actually used it to explain to my wife what the outside world's like for me, and no matter how many words I've used in the past to explain it...after watching it, a lightbulb came on (as it did when I showed other people). Let's face it, the vast majority of NTs believe that autism is a behavioural disorder that just means kids can't learn to behave properly. The idea of sensory overload is entirely alien to them. There's a lot that he got wrong with this whole thing, but there are elements that were both right and useful; I think that section qualifies as one of them, as hard as it was for me to sit through it.

[@qwertyuiop3838]

Wow! I just started watching and you are SOOOOO spot on in this video! I have several autistic traits that I just chalked up to being an introvert in the past, but I am a retired top three (senior) enlisted member of the US Air Force, I play four musical instruments at a respectable level (read: open mic if I was so inclined - and I'm not - oh, and I love singing, too), and I abhor loud sounds (ear plugs at movies - if I go at all), and I have obsessions about things in their places and the order things should be done in, etc... (In my 50s here.) I also love solitude and choose it over being with others almost every time. I often find it a real chore to be around others in my 'down time'. At work, I have a few close people that understand me and my 'condition', and they love what I bring to the table. I am not labelled. I am just a person that respects them and what they bring to the table aswell, and tend to be at the cerebral level where we can let our guard down and be ourselves, enjoying life (and work) together. We also celebrate being human, along with all its quirks and idiosyncrasies. Mark's video was careless and using his son as fodder for his channel is quite shameless. Autistic people are grand and have accomplished so much - and we are EVERYWHERE - Ahhhhhhhhhhh (envision the masses running through the streets in a b-movie). 🙂 Though, according to Michael Fitzgerald, professor of psychiatry at Trinity College in Dublin, a long list of ‘geniuses’ ― including Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, George Orwell, H. G. Wells Ludwig Wittgenstein, Beethoven, Mozart, Hans Christian Andersen and Immanuel Kant ― all had Asperger syndrome. (Never mind Einstein’s sense of humor, seldom seen in Asperger syndrome) - www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/did-einstein-have-autism/ Life is complicated - and I get it. We (autistic people) can do most ANYTHING with (or even sometimes without) the proper support. Thank you for helping me better understand myself (and why I do what I do), even though years of post-military therapy failed to adequately recognize this aspect... I'm pro-life, but I appreciate your viewpoint. Just a side-note, I was with heart disease and had to have open heart surgery to survive. I could have been aborted in the late 60s, but I wasn't. So there's that. Oh, btw, YOU ROCK!

[@qwertyuiop3838]

EDIT: I was born with heart disease...

[@marcypan8219]

The neurotypicals will never understand the pain of knowing there are literal organisations created because they wish you, and people like you, hadn’t been born.

[@Elaan021]

Or the pain of looking for coping mechanisms or suggestions for daily living and only finding things written by neurotypicals about how to "fix" children. I'm not wanting to make myself "be neurotypical." I just want to know how other neurodivergent people deal with things like sensory overload to see if their solutions might work for me. Because I want to make *my* life easier, not make me "easier" for the NT to deal with.

[@explodingmango907]

Yea black people and minorities could never understand that pain.

[@adjjal]

I understand the hurt in your comment but I have to agree with @exploringmango because almost every minority I can think of has experienced that at some point.

[@roni5326]

I’d say that’s far more common with racism not ableism. I see what you mean but don’t disregard the fact that minorities go through shit as well…

[@adjjal]

@@roni5326 idk if its something we can compare really looking back on it, they're definitely different experiences thinking about it more now. In my comment I meant more kinda like, even if someone feels like NT ppl won't understand and that they're alone, try to remember ur not alone in that feeling, because other ppl maybe have been through similar, and maybe that can connect people and communities more hopefully

[@Ruby-jb6en]

“Because of their autism, they will never be able to do x, y or z.” Ummmm…. They definitely would be able to, if the world wasn’t built for only neurotypical people? And autistic people already do those things and achieve those goals regardless? So shut up Mark? Thanks

[@JasonMMontrose]

You cant just lump people with autism all together. There are many autistic people that don't even have whats necessary to feed themselves, its a sliding scale. I don't know where on the scale people stop being able to do x, y or z, but there is a point in which an autistic person doesn't have the capacity to do certain things.

[@aleclorian7329]

theres nothing wrong with saying that. some people cant actually do certain things because of their disability, and pretending that can be overwritten by just being more inclusive of them is also harmful

[@alexiswhitby7010]

Colleen comments aged like a fine wine

[@your_local_gacha_idiot6063]

Hi, my son is almost 3 and has just been diagnosed with autism. He is mostly non verbal and has some food sensitivity as far as not eating any food besides puréed pouches and drinks pediasure and water. We are starting Food/speech, OT, early intervention education and the Dr that diagnosed him is recommending ABA therapy also. So first I want to say how thankful I am to you for posting these videos. I’ve been trying to collect as much information from actual autistic people that share their experiences and what has helped and hasn’t helped for them. My fear as a Mom is that in trying to help my son the therapy will harm his own development or try to change him. I want him to just be himself. I love everything about him. I do worry about the more challenging aspects of some of his behaviors, I know he feels safe with me to express himself. He bites me and headbuts or hits and I know he’s communicating in those moments the way he knows how. I guess my question for you would be have you had experience with that when you were growing up? Does anyone have experience or a recommendation of ways that help with that? I am new to this and just hoping to educate myself and be the best Mom I can be for him. From what I’ve heard and read about ABA I don’t agree with the methodology at all. So I won’t be going that route but the other therapies seem to be helpful for children. I also feel overwhelmed myself with the amount of therapy he will be doing and don’t want it to be too much on him. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you so much!

[@technicolourmyles]

As a verbal autistic, I definitely don't have any authority to speak on this matter, so I just wanted to say you are incredible and an inspiration to me as someone dreaming of being a parent one day. Good on you for doing your proper research and staying away from ABA! The only thing I can recommend, or just point you in the direction of, is AAC, which is Augmentative and Alternative Communication solutions. I'm sure there are lots of good resources on them around, even Paige mentioned them here in this video briefly, so I hope there are some good, knowledgable therapists out there who can help your son get started with those solutions for communication. And perhaps on a more personal note, don't think it's too late for your son to communicate through speech. I only spoke my first words when I was about 2.5 years old. My Autism was completely missed, and I was only diagnosed at age 21, but my mother always just kept talking to me, in two languages even, since our family is bilingual. I'm very verbal nowadays, I only get non-verbal when I'm experiencing a shutdown. I believe you're doing everything in your power and even beyond that to do best by your son, thank you for sharing your story and I wish you and your son the very very best!

[@cathyvball]

I watched Marks video and I thought, "Hmm, this seems really nice and cool. I like Mark." After watching this video, I totally understand how rude and careless the whole video was. I was just like so many people who were sort of brainwashed by people like Mark you treat people with autism like they're some kind of pet. Thank you for informing people like me.

[@damanpreetkaur635]

Same here! I thought the video was great and just what we needed to help autistic people, but after watching this, I realized how wrong the video was. I sincerely didn’t realize that he was putting down his son, or how he made it seem like autistic people lived to make us happy. I just agreed and thought he was doing a great thing. As someone who is praised for “putting myself in other peoples shoes” I feel ashamed I didn’t think twice about the bit in the park. Watching this video made me realize how brainwashed I was. Honestly, I’m glad I’m able to say that I’m no longer thinking the way Mark is. We really need to educate ourselves and view others perspectives because watching the video as someone who is not autistic and then watching the video with someone who is opened my eyes!

[@cathyvball]

@@damanpreetkaur635 Yes!!!!

[@shachelifernando]

yea same even the comments under his video were positive its absolutley terrifiying how brain washed we can be

[@Elaan021]

It was videos like Mark's that fueled my original rejection of the suggestion that I might be autistic, not just ADHD. Because those videos don't describe me. But watching videos *by* autistic adults was a light bulb moment. They *do* sound like me. I wonder how many other adults like me are out there who are in denial because the way they've been taught to look at autism prevents them from seeing themselves.

[@honeybnoir824]

@@Elaan021 I get what you mean. On rare occasions when I would see stuff on TV related to the topic of Autism, it would be about those that meet the stereotypes of it more then others who don't. It's true that there are Autistic people like the boy from the video that need more accommodations, but he doesn't represent all Autistic people or other neurodivergent people. That's part of why I didn't see myself as Autistic until less than a year ago.

[@andreal3239]

I’m neurodivergent, and there’s a good chance that I’m gonna be the first in my entire extended family to get a PhD and I’m certainly not gonna say I’m not gonna cure a disease, I very well could one day

[@heatherwheeler601]

👏❤️👏

[@gracelewis4016]

Well done

[@sofiah.5820]

Noice

[@lavanajafaar]

For this way of treating children I am truly grateful and glad that I did not get the diagnosis since I was a child

[@Riley.-sJoy]

Pls, someone tell this man, IM DIAGNOSED AUTISTIC AND IM LITERALLY A SPACE EXPERT, I’m so dang obsessed with it that I know much more about it then most people I know, I’m also an all A student, patient, and I’m pretty smart otherwise aswell, yes I have some… UNPLEASANT, things, I’m smart, and I’m glad to be autistic BECAUSE I LEARNED TO EMBRACE IT(YOU DONT HAVE TO EMBRACE IT)

[@sesame1137]

Yeah mate, just looked at your page and there is no way a space expert would be posting videos of two crisp packets in a box

[@technicolourmyles]

@@sesame1137 Ah yes, space experts, known for their aversion to packets of crisps displayed in a video format on the internet.

[@Riley.-sJoy]

@@sesame1137I’m not gonna start an argument with someone who doesn’t know me irl soo

[@sesame1137]

@@technicolourmyles 😆😆😆

[@Hulkerine100]

I'm glad you pointed out that being non-vocal doesn't mean that someone can't understand you. People assumed I was either hard of hearing or lacked intelligence when I was non-vocal but I actually understood everything and half of my tantrums and outbursts were because I was trying to communicate in my own way. I'm so glad your channel exists because I feel like I'm not alone in this.

[@kpaxian6044]

Absolutely! I was speaking to a little autistic boy who was wearing a Spider-Man jacket and I told him that Spider-Man was my favourite too and was since I was about his age (he looked about 6 or so.) And that I really was enjoying the mash up with Iron Man in the new Marvel films and he jumped up and down in an obvious display of fandom solidarity and excitement that someone was talking to him about a subject he loved. So I started talking about his jacket and how I would have absolutely been so happy to have a jacket like that when I was little...and his mum or whatnot (not sure the relationship) turned to me and said, "oh, you don't have to speak to him...he's autistic!" And I looked up, like..."yeah? AND?" Then she added, "He's *non-verbal* (yeah, I suspected that already, lady...and?)" And then she said..."he doesn't understand what you are saying to him." Commence inner eye roll. The little kid sure bloody well seemed to understand what I was saying. His face lit up with a huge smile when I told him I was a Spider-Man fan too and the little bit I got to share with him probably because he is likely starved for positive interactions if his own mum/nanny/whoever she was...doesn't even talk to him, ffs. Of COURSE he understands what I am saying! And of course he was excited...since he was being treated like an object and I was talking to him like I would any other little kid (none of that baby talk, high pitched nonsense either!) (For the record, I am autistic. But I am not non verbal...obviously as I was speaking to the little boy. :) But based on that alone this woman assumed that I was neurotypical, perhaps, or else I bet she wouldn't have linked autism to a lack of awareness and understanding. Makes me so angry.)

[@sierrarevels6441]

this video is so gross and just seems like mark has so much shame about his son, and I can only imagine how hard it is to have a parent that's ashamed of you. I hate that they treat neurodivergent and other disabled people like commodities. Like "oh they can't do anything but at least they make you happy." this essentially strips autistic people of their personhood. It's so clear that the fault is with the ableist structure of society. Also, as someone who is only recently discovering my autism, I didn't even realize neurotypicals could just block out all other stimuli that easily lol

[@meredithdavis6663]

as an autistic person whos father is very openly ashamed of them, i can 1000% say its a complete and utter hell

[@mignonmykel3571]

I absolutely agree with this comment. In his joking manner, it sounds like he's trying to cover shame. By him attempting to make joking comments about his son, it's putting a blanket over himself, trying to make him look like a good guy. When in reality, his video is absolutely disgusting, and it makes me want to cry with the excuses he is making.

[@leeknowsnose]

As an autistic and neurodivergent person, my parents are very much ashamed of me and it's like living a hell and they force you to act like a NT, just sucks

[@allychristiansen]

No hate on Mark Rober but he is Mormon and there is a TON of built-in ableism in Mormonism, so it makes sense that is where he would be as a parent. I hope he gets the chance to see some of these reaction videos and has a chance to learn and grow and be more accommodating and compassionate with himself and others.

[@HopeWren]

I'm autistic & watching your reaction was a bit infuriating... I think you missed the point of the video. I feel like you went into it looking for issues & so unsurprisingly you found them. We talk about how neurotypicals being educated & helping to make change is important but when someone is trying it's not good enough. That's what the sensory thing was trying to do educate! I have "Special needs" as there are things that I require that the vast majority of people don't require. I'm not a bit fan of the phrase but there are bigger problems. I'm not going to get pedantic about wording. My mum has been with me my entire life & she's still learning. Mark saying that they try make the best of it is fair. Having a child with autism is not easy. Is he a bit ignorant? Sure. But he's trying, learning & that's better than nothing. How about we educate with grace instead of being so snarky & judgemental which tbh just makes people not want to bother. Coming from an Autistic woman.

[@inspieredanimal3809]

Thank you Ive been scrolling through the comments to find a xomment like this. Her reaction was quite infuriating. I think he actually was trying to do the right thing.

[@SarahM-lw2gd]

I didn't realize the term "special needs" was so condescending. I feel terrible that I've ever used it. I won't anymore. Thanks for letting me know! (I'm not being sarcastic, by the way. I really want to use the right words)

[@thuggeegaming659]

There are no right words. Euphemisms become offensive in a never-ending cycle. Whatever is the "right" word for the time being, will become offensive in the future.

[@ninjaked1265]

Special needs refers to those who need specialized care, so the term is accurate. The problem is that not all autistics are special needs

[@vampiresquid2635]

imagine growing up and realizing that this is what your parent thought of you when you were a child.

[@allisond.46]

Sadly, that is reality for many autistic people.

[@mitchelldelarosby70]

Disgusting!

[@lemqnshark]

to the retirement home

[@wiffywiffy7896]

I would be so sad and disappointed in them

[@pumpkinjackal]

Y'all are babies and you misinterpreted what he said

[@wizardfrog3104]

"Oh BuT hE hAs An AuTiStIc ChIlD, He KnOwS wHaT hE's TaLkInG aBoUt!" I've heard so many people say this and i wish i could have explained it as well as you did

[@popkick8350]

Yeah, I mean why couldn’t actual autistics have a platform to speak of their experiences? They’re the ones living through it, not everyone else.

[@Jordan_653]

@@popkick8350 Because as this woman expresses over and over, autism is a spectrum. For some reason she fails to realize that she's extremely high functioning and is not at all comparable to someone who is not able to speak, express themselves properly, need constant care etc. It's like comparing one dollar to a million dollars. Yeah, it's all money, but it's not really the fuckin' same, is it. I've heard her in other videos getting annoyed that people refer to autism as "high functioning" and "low functioning" and claims "we're all just autistic." I'm sure someone who is literally not able to lead a normal life because of their autism looks at this girl and thinks "we're the same, you and I" This girls a moron and her take on this video is garbage. She's smug as hell and is absolutely trying to speak for all autistic people.

[@michaelrainbow4203]

"If you cannot take care of an autistic child, you should not be having a child." Perfectly stated

[@ToqTheWise]

The thing that I hate about those "autism simulators" is that it's not even accurate. They just make thing's louder but that's not what it's like at all. It's not that I can't block things out I can do that fine. Like my computer fan is going but it doesn't bother me because I can focus on my stream of thought, same with the sound of my typing, and my mild tinnitus. I can push things to the background. The problem is that certain sounds hurt me. I feel them in my bones and in the back of my throat. Like for three days they've been running an air compressor inside the main building of my college and the "EEEEEEE" sound drills into my brain. It's not that it's particularly loud even. It's actually relatively quiet compared to other sounds. But it's the damn pitch of it. There's like two frequencies fighting with each other and then I'll press the elevator call button and for a few seconds a third tone cuts in and like for a second I just blue screen!

[@Arandomperson221]

Tbf I think the "autism simulators" depict being overstimulated pretty well (in my experiences anyways) like it'll be impossible to get it fully accurate visually or whatever but all of the sounds going on at once was pretty spot on for how I feel if I'm somewhere like a shopping centre and i get overstimulated

[@clairegibson8735]

As an autistic girl I completely understand when you said you can’t even say the right thing. Whenever I get angry or frustrated I can’t form simple sentences out of what’s happening in my head. It’s really frustrating

[@autumn.breann]

That is me all the time

[@jjgamesTS4]

I’m the same and it’s probably the aspect of my autism that I struggle with the most

[@memebaltan]

say "fuck you go die" always worked for me

[@lalciaaa]

What I understand from his video: He wanted a genius child who goes in Mars to find a cure for all diseases and now his disappointed and trying to justify his existence by saying "oh he's still cute tho and he makes me smile"

[@mignonmykel3571]

He's trying to feel better about the death of HIS dreams. All of this is about him and what people think of him...nothing with his son. Gross.

[@omni8568]

@@mignonmykel3571 yeah but I kinda see some justification in that. My mom gave birth to my brother who has very severe autism and it’s kinda ruined our lives and the only pro I can say about my brother is that he’s cute sometimes. My mom thinks that too, because my brother really can’t do anything since he’s so disabled. Having him basically ruined my moms life and career, so I can understand why she would feel like that. If I lost everything because of someone I gave birth to, I’d be disappointed too, so I’d try to look at the positives. And since there are no real positives with my brother being born, the only thing I can say he’s good for is making me look like a good person, giving us front row parking spots because of his disability pass, and the fact that he’s a little cute

[@mehrollah9225]

Just shut up Jesus

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

Imagine being told by your parents that your superpower is making other people happy. Wow.

[@michellebalmer5761]

As a parent we need autism to be called special needs other wise our insurance won't pay for the therapies that's needed. I just found out my 2 year old has autism and I know my insurance doesn't pay for sh**. If I have to admit he is special needs to get him whatever he needs I will do so.

[@oliviahyerobrine]

thats def a problem with insurance companies being stuck up cunts !

[@anonymouslystupid5857]

what made me mad about the Jason story is he was obviously good he got 6 3 pointers in 4 min yet they didn't let him play until senior year for 4 min just because hes disabled that really pisses me off because its told as a good heartwarming story

[@Allison_Leigh]

Right? I don't get why he couldn't be on the team he obviously has skills.

[@anonymouslystupid5857]

@@Allison_Leigh i know it pisses me off that he said all this as if it was a good thing like there such good people because they let him play for 4 minuets once

[@stankatbarrell9878]

Wow. As a non autistic person I am ashamed that I thought Mark's video was good. I thought "Oh he's praising his son. He's educating people." I didn't think about what paige mentioned. Wow. Great video paige, very important to focus on others other than neurotypicals. I didn't release how he tried to hide the "negative" sides of autism. And how he infantilized and made it seem like the only thing disabled people are good for is making others happy.

[@NikkiSchumacherOfficial]

I'm autistic and thought his video was fine. Some people are offended and some people aren't. I guess we all have our pet peeves. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@sarabrenna5525]

What he's doing in the video is called "inspiration p0rn" . It may look like a good thing but it's not, it's basically talking about/treating disabled people (in this case an autistic kid but it applies to people with physical disabilities too) as inspirational on the basis of their disability. It's a narration that talks about us not as people but as tools to motivate non disabled people, even though it looks like it's praising us it's actually dehumanizing.

[@Iloverandomness100]

@@NikkiSchumacherOfficial I appreciate you saying this because I was on the fence. Some stuff I’m like “well maybe not mark” but most of it I was like “okay seems fine”. It’s all perception. Everything is not going to be the same as how someone else sees it. That’s why we have opinions. Fun to play devils advocate tho and see every side!

[@katiacleroux7376]

As a neurodiverse person with an autistic SPD kiddo, I found his video pretty great. Sure, there could have been better wording, and the focus could have really been kept on the science aspect. But in aspects to educating family members on some difficulties my kiddo faces daily, what tools we can use, ect, it's one of the better ones out there.

[@rosiebowers1671]

@@NikkiSchumacherOfficial I might be autistic or not (I'm not typical but it's unclear what the deal is, and at this point I've given up trying to know). I found that his video had lots of serious problems, the worst part being when he goes "he won't go to Mars or cure cancer but awww look how cute he is". That was so cringy and patronizing. It made me feel enraged, both on my own behalf and on behalf of my (diagnosed) autistic kid, who I'm confident can be very academically successful if he feels so inclined. However, I still find the criticism too harsh here. For example, I personally found the part about sensory overload quite well done -- of course the explanation is meant for NTs, how is that a bad thing? the video is done by a NT dude addressing NTs -- and I did relate to it; I find it impossible to focus or follow a conversation with a complex background noise but can't explain it to other people because they wouldn't understand and they'd just think I'm even weirder than they thought. And I liked that he explained that not all autistic people are savant (I hate this stereotype).

[@CraigDaBrute838]

A special ability. Why can’t we all just call it a unique ability. It’s special, but shouldn’t be called a special ability. It’s just something we’re really good at.

[@ladyhawke1357]

I totally disagree with you and I think you have misunderstood Marc's good intentions. I'm so glad Marc made this video, especially the part about hearing so many sounds at once. As an autistic person myself, I have struggled to explain how I'm affected by noise and the difficulties I have concentrating on a conversation. Marc's example shows EXACTLY what I go through and it been an absolute godsend to help others understand what I am dealing with.

[@oliviahyerobrine]

theres plently of reacreations of overstimulation on the internet you dont have to cling to marks shitty one . the road to hell is paved with good intentions

[@autumnspirit2315]

it’s annoying that we’re seen as toys who are simple and happy all the time “despite everything the world throws at us

[@PhantomLink16]

What does "allistic" mean?

[@madis4913]

Recognising that would require recognising that they are generally the ones RESPONSIBLE for said trauma :/

[@playdoh658]

@@PhantomLink16 someone that isn’t autistic

[@PhantomLink16]

@@playdoh658 Oh, okay. Never heard that term before, I've only heard people use "neurotypical".

[@polycube868]

With me I'm either emotionless, or angry or euphoric, very rarely sad, the happy stereotype is rather dumb.

[@ReiKoko]

After my son was diagnosed as autistic when he was a toddler, I was asked so many times if I was sure that I still wanted more children. I was told by family that he's not autistic, I just didn't know how to raise him, that he just needed to get out more. Thing is, I never looked at him any differently or loved him any less after his diagnosis. All his diagnosis did was provide answers for us and open up services that could be used to meet his needs. Last year, my own mother denied that autism runs in our family (I know of at least 2 autistic second cousins) and insisted that I must have done something wrong when I was pregnant with my son. A couple of months ago, I finally received my own autism diagnosis and I'm glad that I did, because now I can finally figure out why I am the way I am.

[@LisaCapron]

I’m the autistic mother of 9 autistic children (well, a lot of them are adults now, but you get the idea). I mentioned that on FB and some lady I didn’t even know spazzed and said it was horrifying that I would bring nine children into this world who would be sick and burdens to society. I was like.... bitch, back off. My kids are freaking amazing and some of the hardest working, most dependable people I’ve ever known. I’ve had NT moms even say to me that they want my secret to raising such great young adults.... It’s called, I accept everything about my kids and help them find accommodations for areas where they struggle so they can shine in areas they love to focus on. Heck, I’m pretty sure that’s how every kid should be raised.

[@Anonymous-df8it]

@@LisaCapron Keep going until you have 69 @ut1$t1c children!

[@wanda4573]

​@@LisaCapron dont ya love it when the police of i know better come out of the wood work!!! like the food police and exerise police. little miss lead better police.

[@LeadTrumpet1]

“Things don’t have to be that complicated” My life is more complicated than those of my non-disabled friends. There was a paper recently published for internal medicine and family medicine doctors on how important it is to know who their autistic patients are (even self diagnosed) because of the cooccurring conditions that often occur with autism (especially MCAS, EDS and POTS/dsysutonomia). They were stressing the importance of accessible healthcare so these conditions (MCAS especially since anaphylaxis is a possibility) are caught earlier and better managed so we can have a better quality of life. Something I have been pushing for personally for years. I got my doctor to understand that if I say I have set symptoms and I want to be checked for a certain condition as it runs highly cooccurring with autism to take that very seriously. It’s how I got MCAS diagnosed, how I got a rheumatologist referral to get assessed for EDS and I’ll need to do it again because it appears I may also have POTS

[@gwendolynsnyder463]

that guy would be flabbergasted if he heard about me, an autistic woman, starting to study programming in hopefully 2024 or 2025. I just need to get my A levels first, because here in Germany, you can only go to University if you have your A levels.

[@sarasabeleer]

The sensory overload even made me very uncomfortable, I’m not autistic, I have adhd and omg that was not fun lol

[@arianna800]

Omg same i also have adhd. It made me start having tics i was so overstimulated. Usually im able to control them a little bit but that was WAY TOO MUCH.

[@meganmullis5386]

Same, I'm already at the end of my rope for the day and I had to pause that in the middle to turn the sound down because I was starting to tic. I can't believe he would put that in his video without warning, what if his son watches it?

[@MalaikaHaywood]

My mom told me that ADHD is suspected to be on the spectrum. I don’t think it’s been made definite, but some doctors think it is.

[@MalaikaHaywood]

She told me this because I have ADHD and she worked with autistic people.

[@meganmullis5386]

​@@MalaikaHaywood I have a lot of symptoms in common with my autistic sister, but I've also always been good at understanding emotions in others and myself and properly displaying the emotions I feel which is one of the main things with autism, so I don't know.