Avoiding Arguments in Your Relationship (STOP FIGHTING)

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

[@elderias]

We’re can I contact you

[@Zay510]

One thing me and my girlfriend always argue almost everyday about is me, making assumptions. That triggers her so bad, then she gets upset. After that I’ll get upset, then she starts to easily get triggered and gets more mad then starts to ignore me. That triggers me the most, I get mad to where I DO NOT calm down. What should I do next time if it occurs?? Please help me out I really need advice on this ASAP please

[@iristheangel3631]

@@Zay510 Bit late but just try not to make assumptions, it doesn't get much simpler than that.

[@calaser10]

had a great laugh. "if you cant stop making assumptions.. Just assume that your assumptions are wrong" that one made my day. thanks Geoffrey!

[@LydiaNicoleLive]

Excellent tips. I wish I watched this video twenty years ago. I love the sentence you shared “tell me what you’re thinking or what you’re feeling”. Very helpful.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

So glad that spoke to you. Thank you for tuning in!

[@muhammadtayyabijaz39]

Definitely on of the best video series on relationships out there. Great work Geoff!

[@tammie3583]

I think what we fuss about most is each others defensiveness due to the way the other asks question. His questions come accross in a way that seems demmanding of an answer. Mine come accross in a accusing way. At least he thinks its accusing even when its not meant to be.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Yeap. That's a big one. When you say it seems demanding of an answer -- is he forcing you to say something immediately or does he get upset that your answer wasn't what he was looking for? Also try some of these tips the next time you are communicating about something -- usually, when you start changing your approach, there is a feedback loop that happens that also gets your partner to calm down as well.

[@tammie3583]

@@GeoffreySetiawan he wants the answer that he has already determined to be correct and he wants it 'now' with no explanation or what he thinks is an excuse. He just already knows that he is correct and all he wants from me is admittance and compliance. Even when he is wrong in his assumption, he doesnt want to hear about it. I told him about this video and that i want to change and I will try to implement the holding hands part and tell him that something he said triggered an emotion in me and I own it but just need a minute or so to get control of myself so I can answer in a way that will be helpful not harmful to us. I said that I hope he will hold my hand for me so the released endorphins will begin to calm me before I respond. I did not tell him that i hope that it works on him also, to help him to calm down but I sure do. 😊

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@@tammie3583 Totally makes sense! I think you're on the right track -- If he gets impatient, hold him even tighter and say something like "I just want you to know that I am silent not because I do not agree with you. But because I really care about you and this relationship and I want to make sure that the things I say are the correct things that show how much I care about you." Kill his sharpness with your gentleness :) Don't quote me on that, but say it in your own words -- it really does seem like you REALLY care about your partner and relationship -- which is awesome.

[@andysarah6616]

Still young but matured advice 😊👍

[@Tech2feed]

How to do non verbal touch in long distance relationship

[@putuamellia8802]

Handsome,matured,& really good tips😘

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks for watching! Which of these 5 tips are you going to implementing into your life to start avoiding arguments in your relationship?

[@tammie3583]

Touching, hold hands or sit close to relax before speaking. My sarcastic tone gets me into trouble often. His domineering attitude gets him into trouble often. I know we both need to calm down and ask our questions in a way that the other feels safe to answer.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@@tammie3583 That's awesome to hear. Keep us updated on how that goes :)

[@samromeo9924]

Wow thank you for the good video, the talk & good illustrations😊

[@Jonathan-ko6hf]

I'm praying that my girl and I can meet after our break and use these tips to create a strong, permanent relationship.

[@nashwanmohmd]

How's it going

[@aisrinoviantynovianty9621]

Good advice for a better relationship. It takes two to work good in relationship

[@michapieszczynski5742]

Man, you are amazing. I'm Polish and I have Chinese wife, we had lot of arguments because of cultural differences... but we could avoid a lot. I'm watching your videos one by one. Thank you!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Love it! Let me know when you have questions about what you are learning!! :)

[@waaahhzzaahhp]

Wow! This is so insightful!! I love it!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Yes!

[@condor8442]

Unbelievable help. I wish I knew about this so long ago to save my relationship

[@angelainspiration4824]

Really good, teach us to be matured to deal with the spouse.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thank you! So glad it was valuable. :)

[@ASE.playlists]

I've watched every video on KZbin on this topic. Yours are the best.

[@SocialConfidenceMastery]

This video is very insightful!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks! Glad it was helpful!

[@cathywenas]

Thank you for the good tips👍

[@RalphJErvin]

Great information that's going to help many people. Thanks for sharing!

[@sebastianbudz3109]

Thank you so much, it’s very hard sometimes because my emotions go wild since i am still very young (16), i realize when i do this and am not keeping my emotions in check, i am only hurting my partner even more. I just want to be mature enough to be able to support her in these hard discussions we have because it’s hard for her to open up. Thank you this helped a lot!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Sebastian Buds, Watch this video below and learn how to become emotionally bulletproof. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqGZmGysnLScm8U

[@artifactsantlersoh]

Man, Thank You so much for spelling this all out for me. I can’t tell you how helpful this will be for me.

[@rosiemartinez5424]

We argue the most because I make assumptions but this was very helpful and I didn’t realize how bad assumptions really were

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Awesome realization and keep watching to learn even more. We have a very exciting calendar coming up.

[@SamanthaSteMarie1]

Thank you so much for the tips!!

[@JDSbits01]

I'm still watching your videos. You are the Best!!!! Thanks for sharing such great information.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Awesome man! Thanks for taking the time to write this :) Let's keep growing!

[@ElizabethSampson]

Great information!

[@stevosd60]

Most arguments are about what we recall each other said. Sometimes what was said or assumed we meant within minutes of saying it. Feels to me like arguing for the sake of it

[@stewart2313]

Man you spoke to my soul . I have a lot of work to do.

[@TimVissow]

Watch the channel grow, You are doing great work Mr. Geoffrey!

[@ScottSwalwell]

Great video mate. That's a lot of views :)

[@Tormasan]

So far it seems you saved my relationship 🥺 thanks man happy holidays to you. Keep make the world a better place

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Happy holidays to you too man :)

[@ssjcadic]

assumptions and judge are the killers in my relationship

[@tatescharnberg1205]

Great content thank you

[@chinchinhuang5813]

Your advices really are awesome, it opens me up and gives me that assuring feeling. Thank you

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thank you Chinchin Huang, what do you find most eye-opening about my videos?

[@longhuynh4423]

Your pretty awesome man keep up the good work!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks buddy!

[@KetchupSamurai]

What we argue about is me wanting to be a priority not an option where I make sure she knows or sees that she is

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey Angel, Once you work on yourself to become the best, you should not have to argue with your partner about being a priority. Once you build your intrinsic & extrinsic value, you will raise yourself to a level that she will naturally notice.

[@efrainlopezc]

Great stuff, you know what you're talking about and know how to say it. Thanks,

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Awesome! So glad you are finding my videos useful. What do you find most eye-opening?

[@shamsuddeensaleh3935]

I found out she was flirting with 2 different guys. She told me she won't do it again. Since ever that happened. We argue about trust issues because every suspicious move from her makes me feel insecure. I don't seem to get the scenario outta my head even though I hate how I assume she still tolerates other guys on social media apps. I need therapy

[@tianasharpe67]

I look up to you thank you

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Honored to hear that!

[@alexanderhanooman]

I need this right now she asked for space. Hmmm and I am seeing our last two weeks here up to yesterday when see said that. I really never gave her a good listening.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Alexander Hanooman, First step is always recognition. Let me know how I can help.

[@maryaboyd2667]

Thank you for your effort and dedication to helping others, I appreciate you.

[@justychinwendu5309]

I can recommend you to this love specialist he helped me restored my ex back to me in less than 24 hours

[@justychinwendu5309]

WhatsApp him

[@cynthiachirokote3129]

The issue of digging deep didn't really work for me and he felt like I was interrogating him and got even more angry. I guess I may have also offended him by what I was reflecting back that was coloured by my own feelings. How best can i overcome this?

[@faithyoung5628]

We argue about my flaws

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

A very common topic of argument!

[@RandomV1ogh]

We argue about me not actually acknowledging her wants and needs and just me agreeing so the argument could stop or we argue about lies or that I blame her too much

[@alanchajonii9850]

We argue about me not being financially healthy in the beginning of our relationship

[@kazikazitvboda2boda]

We fight because of the phone.. She is sometimes using her phone is an direction where she is like hiding some charts. She don't want me to see. Even calls she is going out side what is the meaning of her actions.. Is it not a red flag..?

[@FriskyTendervittles]

Can you make a video on all the cognitive distortions and how they affect relationships

[@hungjai415]

my partner make assumptions I am talking to other women I under about my past but I am working hard in our marriage

[@moeplasticos8573]

I wish you used more examples or presented scenarios or a skit.

[@mykalbrown5257]

We just argue because I feel like everything she do or say i gotta go by what she say or do but when i ask her to do something she act like a little kid say blahhh blahh so i get mad because it feels like im not getting respect

[@dani-_-boy9386]

my assumtion was , it was a star

[@xoxojan4332]

My bf and have been arguing a lot lately and he said he’s stuck in the middle as in keeping the relationship or leaving the relationship and I don’t think I can save it because I feel like even if we have a little fight that will ruin us I’m so scared of arguing now even if it’s a 5mins thing I need help

[@Zay510]

@Geoffrey Setiawan One thing me and my girlfriend always argue almost everyday about is me, making assumptions. That triggers her so bad, then she gets upset. After that I’ll get upset, then she starts to easily get triggered and gets more mad then starts to ignore me. That triggers me the most, I get mad to where I DO NOT calm down. What should I do next time if it occurs?? Please help me out I really need advice on this ASAP please

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Lil Zay, The solution is more than can be expressed through a comment reply. This is exactly a major part of what my entire program is about. Learning to be emotionally bulletproof. Feel free to watch this video and follow up with any questions you may have. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqGZmGysnLScm8U

[@dallanaperdomo8554]

What if I don't argue?

[@sherececocco]

I guessed a star. You assumed something else 🙃

[@tulsikhoniri3430]

When I assume it's turned out to be the truth 🙂🤷

[@phillipgiwu9683]

She doesn't update me whether she is going to work or clinic or on leave for a few days. This makes me to assume.

[@vestohood1501]

We have arguments about the her childrens somehow when I tell her about her son's she gets defensive but at the end of the day she tells me ok I apologize and you are right I should do that. Then again it starts all over again how can I fix that my friend

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Vesto Hood, Check out this video below and be sure to come back with your follow-up questions. kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3jaqZyaaJKAe5o

[@demariosmith2623]

Whenever she's talking to I'm nothing answering her. Say things in the wrong...I'm too selfish with her

[@robertkowal478]

What do you do if your partneer is emotional and does NOT want a hug our hold hands

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Robert Kowal, I invite you to come join me in my free 90 min master class to see at what stage in the relationship does intimacy start to beak down and how to learn to repair it. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

[@chrisvelazquez1375]

I seriously thought u we’re trying to make a star so I’m gonna assumntht means something positive 🤣🤣

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Lol not sure if I am following you here.

[@chrisvelazquez1375]

@@GeoffreySetiawan haha when u were talking abt how ppl connect the dots differently

[@wagner3813]

My partner won’t let me create contact at all and will violently move away despite my calm manner so I don’t see this working for me

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Then keep watching more videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sJ65Zqt4hpaXq80

[@wagner3813]

@@GeoffreySetiawan just watched this video and it hit me right in the head it’s shocking how much I can relate, 🙏🏼 thank u

[@khadijaharbi3033]

Hi jeff. Shall I let my partner know this Strategy or shall I just do it without him knowing your method?

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey man. Feel free to do it without telling her. But when she start to resist your new approach (which might seem suspicious because you're doing something you don't usually do), feel free to let her know. For example: "Okay, so I can sense you think I am trying to interrogate you. Can I tell you something from my perspective?" . "Well, I am simply trying to become a better communicator by X, Y Z...What do you think?" There are many nuances for you to understand about the example I gave, but hope that gives you some direction.

[@donjuan2105]

So basically you are saying assume you are always the problem in the relationship

[@aaronbonifacio9097]

I answered star tho

[@JaHm3sZ]

I actually guessed a star 😂

[@scalpelspeaks870]

How do I contact you !!???

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Join my free FaceBook group where me or a member of my team can help answer your questions. facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

[@atanasmoldovanov2053]

Gold

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Glad you found my video helpful.

[@aimezmoi13]

I assume that he's lazy 😅

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@aimezmoi, he probably doesn't know the right processes & how to artfully respond. 🙂

[@sexygirl5478]

Does she want. To be with me