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@TruRevu Күн бұрын
We never realize what we have till it’s gone. I had 6 years with this woman and her alcohol issues and anger was a terrible mix got to the point where I felt alone and just craved female attention JUST THAT JUST CONVERSATION just wanted to feel some positive attention since my girlfriend became very negative and overwhelming (got caught when she went through my phone) never talked dirty wasn’t being sexual not your usual cheating scenario literally just having conversations with woman because I didn’t feel that I can talk to her but I didn’t wanna leave her it only got worse towards the end we had a place together for 1 year and I didn’t wanna renew the lease she went to live with her female coworker and I temporarily went to my mothers we had no contact for practically a month than she called me drunk on a Saturday night at 1am and I didn’t answer purposely (she didn’t know she was on my voicemail) that’s how I knew I decided to reach out to her via text the next day and I really wanted to just communicate and make things right she stayed with me for almost 2 weeks and than when she went back to where she was staying 2 days later texted me saying she doesn’t know what she wants and she needs some space I left her alone for a week than she said she has no interest In trying again “it’s the same routine” we’re good for a few months and than we get “toxic” iam assuming she’s “talking to someone else” so when she said these things to me I replied back you don’t need me anymore go talk to him than I left it alone texted her the next day and said I apologize I messed up and I agree we need some time apart than she blocked me on iPhone and I’ve had no contact for a month now 🤦🏼♂️ I’ve been devastated since but as time goes my mind is just starting to accept but I feel that this is it and it’s a done deal her anger towards me is how she puts it “I stepped out” and I didn’t renew the lease but why in the hell did she come back for almost 2 weeks and everything seemed like we can work through this and move on to the next step why couldn’t she just say it’s over I don’t want anything to do with you anymore goodbye (just be straightforward) really messing with my mind 6 years of being with each other everyday and no real closure it’s like a loose end mind game at this point
@2pacorwhat Күн бұрын
I'll be honest I was always kinda mad at the fact that the bar is set so high nowadays to be attractive to women. Now I learned the bar is set even higher than I thought lol. The difference is that I'm not mad anymore though.
@miketrenerry9860 2 күн бұрын
No contact and start dating as key changes for a guy.
@helloworld1712 2 күн бұрын
.. I would have left him
@TobyLodeweyckx 2 күн бұрын
So when is the right time to send this kind of message I already had send a tth script zo I don’t want to send like a random emotional text
@2pacorwhat 2 күн бұрын
I'm having a really hard time with this one. 1:12:25 I can't get myself to agree on this. The thing is even if you do all this work, there's always someone "better" than you. Humans, especially women, are emotional beings and will get carried away by their emotions in certain settings and will do things that they will regret afterwards. Why would you, as a couple, willingly put yourself in situations in which cheating happens a lot? (like going out). If I had a dollar for every woman that has cheated on their partner just because some dude made them feel a certain way a certain night I'd be a billionaire. The only way that responsible adults make sure they do not cheat is by not putting themselves in situations in which cheating can happen. This goes from instantly blocking dudes or women sliding into your dm's to not going to the club "with the boys/girls" to get drunk.
@GeoffreySetiawan 2 күн бұрын
"The only way that responsible adults make sure they do not cheat is by not putting themselves in situations in which cheating can happen." I always say - Give your partner enough freedom so they CAN leave. Treat them well enough so they won't want to. Your description of relationships seems reminiscent of North Korea. (The only way that responsible citizens ensure they do not defect is by not putting themselves in situations in which defecting can happen). No thank you! :) My wife, and now my army of 5,000+ clients' wives choose to stay with them not because they HAVE TO, but because they WANT TO, even if they can leave. I'll take that any day! --- Read your comment again, now replace the words "women" with "men". Would you personally stay with someone who thinks so lowly of you? So you say ""The thing is even if you do all this work, there's always someone "better" than you."" Are you sure the women in your life are leaving you because they are messed up and found someone better? Or perhaps paradigms like that turn them off, and it's not so much that they found someone better, but they want to run away from people who think like that about them? P.S. Our definitions of "better" is very different. Feel free to look up these search terms and watch these videos to learn more. If you don't want to watch it, that is fine too. Just wanted to share what has revolutionized relationships for so many men. "Change in the Right Ways Geoffrey Setiawan” "Positive Masculinity Geoffrey Setiawan” "High-Value Geoffrey Setiawan” "Power in Relationships Geoffrey Setiawan”
@2pacorwhat 2 күн бұрын
@ thank you for your detailed response. Would you agree that despite wanting to be in the relationship, it is still possible to feel like someone better has appeared in your life and ending up cheating? It has nothing to do with forcing each other to not do these things. You can come to a mutual agreement about this based on the principles I laid out. I think your North Korea analogy is a strawman of my argument. It’s not about thinking lowly, it’s thinking realistically. People, especially women nowadays, cheat on each other all the time. It’s not thinking lowly to agree on certain things to drastically reduce the chances of this happening. I agree that the best way to do that is by the principles you lay out. I’m just wondering if it is really that bullet proof to then let your partner that previously cheated have nights out with the girls again.
@GeoffreySetiawan 2 күн бұрын
@@2pacorwhat Like I said, I think we have two very different definitions of what it means to be “bullet-proof” and what it means to be “high-value” or “better”. But to put it simply - out of the 37 success interviews we have recorded after affairs so far, we have had zero relapses. In fact, they are all growing stronger by the day. Brett included. And this is not including the many reconciliations that we never recorded a testimonial for. No relapses. Zero. So for us, when someone becomes “better” in the right ways, and to the right standard, and become “irreplaceable” in our definition of what it means to be such, we just do not see the “behaviors” from women that you are seeing. What we see is that when a man becomes someone who can create the 5 pillars in amazing ways, they are also amazed at how much it allows their women to blossom in the best ways possible (mine included). But like I say in many of my videos, you are always free to see life, relationships and women in however ways you wish! We just wanted to introduce you to ours as we have created quite a revolution in this realm with thousands of men and couples (many of whom thought like you when they first started). Remember, your paradigms affect your actions, which affect your reality. If you want to change your reality, you must be open to changing your paradigms.
@2pacorwhat 2 күн бұрын
@ Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to respond in such detail to my objections. That people are cheating en masse is not something «I’m seeing» it is just an undeniable fact. Although I think it’s safe to assume that the vast majority of people in this world do not adhere to your 5 pillars either, so you make a good point. If there are no relapses that is very impressive. I’m just doing my due dilligence before investing a large sum of my money into something. The fact that you’re here responding to me despite being in a position where you absolutely do not have to tells me a lot about why you’re doing this. You seem like a genuine person in a space filled with charlatans.
@andrewpalagonia6289 2 күн бұрын
I reached out to you on fb Messanger bc I couldn’t get into the live chat on fb…wondering if I can communicate with you to get better advice on the situation I’m in
@TheGrowthZone-t1e 2 күн бұрын
@gefforeysetiawan : First of all a very big thanks to providing us with a lot of needed stuff cutting of the bs advise around the topic. Your videos gas helped me alott in the past 2 months and still is very helpful. Im in a stage where my partner is stonewalling me now and with this video i found out that how blind was i towards the urgency illusion of manufacturing contact again and again.😂 I feel much hopeful right now as ive avoided one of the major pitfalls that i might've fallen into. At first i was rushing the content of internal shifts and was trying to make contact again within a month or so. I wondered that im very fast at learning LOL. 😂 NOW i realize that how dumb was that idea was . 😅 At the same time now i have the right mindset of FIRST : making insane changes from my identity So that it becomes my default and then to incorporate the frameworks. I had alot of struggle to find the frameworks but now i think it was a good thing to not have at that "urgency illusion times ". I have a request that to make a seperate series of frameworks too . 😊. I currently cannot afford the course. And what advise would you like to give me? If this comment reaches you , thank you for your precious time. ❤
@TheGrowthZone-t1e Күн бұрын
@GeoffreySetiawan
@ModernDatingMastery 2 күн бұрын
*When she asks for space, it’s crucial to respect it - crowding her only pushes her further away. Use this time to focus on yourself and show that you can respect boundaries while staying confident.*
@2pacorwhat 2 күн бұрын
I can relate with Lawrence so much. I've been such an idiot.
@keketsomolaoa8287 3 күн бұрын
God please protect this young man
@warrior100girl 3 күн бұрын
2 months in, my gf wants a break bc she is a professional athlete and she has difficulties to concentrate on the relationship due to her special diet. I am very devastated. We agreed on 3 weeks till her last competition this year. I am really scared this is a excuse to break up with me. I know your video is mostly just Heterosexual couples. I hope this also works queer relationships. But my gf doesn't reach out. :(
@dwightwiley490 3 күн бұрын
I’m currently in another program both you guys are saying similar things but your delivery is better for me to understand than his program thank u for this video I needed to hear it this way
@levivanhorn8657 3 күн бұрын
7 weeks in and we were doing great. Instagrams and selfies. Then she expressed that I can’t do anything on my own and that’s one of the reasons we broke our 9 year partnership. I admittedly panicked and started to convince her why that’s wrong and why I think we could make this work, even tho I knew better that to do that. It taught me that I hadn’t untethered as much as I thought. Is my mistake irreversible? Please help
@Nuez234 2 күн бұрын
Very easy. If you know the process, you should know how to approach it.
@alecmcd8536 3 күн бұрын
This is one of the best client interviews to date. (I feel like I say this every time a new one comes out. Lol) I’m still curious though, when will the in depth series on the frameworks come out? Also when will the podcast with your wife get published with examples on how to lead conversations with the same frameworks? Looking forward to both, and hope you’re enjoying your travels. Europe, sounds like allot of fun.
@matthewsouth1009 3 күн бұрын
My wife is planning on filing for divorce and hasn’t because of residency restrictions. If I file for divorce first would that destroy any chances of being with her in the future? We have two kids and she’s been planning on divorce for months now
@millsa99 4 күн бұрын
I love your work but if I play you at 0.75 speed I learn so much more.
@barrywolff9621 4 күн бұрын
It sounds like you are saying ‘mythologize.’
@barrywolff9621 4 күн бұрын
Do you mean ‘methodize?’
@Poipounda007 4 күн бұрын
Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏🙏
@gavinconlon869 5 күн бұрын
G ,i was asking ,as ive been lrarning frim yet i joined arc system,beautiful as it is. Im confused as to what to do really..you were the first i,ve seen and still hear wisdom more .?
@millsa99 6 күн бұрын
You are very good. I say that after day's of research and really what you say is far deeper than the simple "no contact" recipe.
@FateUnbound5 6 күн бұрын
Hello Geoffrey, this may seem out of place but I've been dating this girl for a year a few months already and it was good, but these days she's been acting cold and told me she can't love me if she doesn't love herself, I've tried everything to see if we can work things out, do you have any tips? Also she has a friend who's a guy who she texts even more than me since we're on a break, do you know how I can win her heart? We've been together through everything, it really hurts man :(
@maleta2011 6 күн бұрын
I’ve tried all three , and always end up back in the same spot or even worse than I was before. I’ve recently shifted my behavior, and now I’ve come across you videos. I have to say a lot of this makes sense.
@maleta2011 6 күн бұрын
How do you give space while living together and with kids?
@maleta2011 6 күн бұрын
It’s it counterproductive to say I Love you to my wife during this time? I guess I just don’t want her to feel that I’m losing love for her during all these changes
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 6 күн бұрын
1:04:14 that's one of the things that's wrong with other programs like Marriage Helper. That's even one of their biggest things: PULL vs PUSH actions. If your changes are real, there will be no need to pull your partner back in
@CiMcM135 6 күн бұрын
Ok but what about when its 100% ZERO contact going on 3 months from a dismissive avoidant
@GeoffreySetiawan 6 күн бұрын
Ok, what about it? We have discussed zero contact situations in many interviews, such as with Ian, Eve, Michael, and Scott. We have recently made a few videos for zero contact situations. You might also want to check out the danger of labeling others with labels like "dismissive avoidant". Watch my videos on attachment styles.
@CiMcM135 6 күн бұрын
@GeoffreySetiawan oh, wow. Thanks you. And thanks for the reply!
@CiMcM135 6 күн бұрын
@GeoffreySetiawan I meant as in, how can you start any of this process if he hasn't even contacted me. He's just diving into work. But I will check out those videos.
@livewithinthedream 6 күн бұрын
I agree with the 6 month changes part. Slowed down for about two weeks when I was 3 or so months in and immediately noticed slight regression. Do it almost every day now’s. On thanksgiving friends and I had a talk about what it means to be human and we all were so emotionally invested and felt heard. The ladies actually cried a bit. I think I am getting there and want to climb even higher!
@chrispanganiban9489 7 күн бұрын
What if she got pregnant while having that space or during separation?
@chrispanganiban9489 7 күн бұрын
Or is it because she already sees herself being safe with somebody else?
@coopersheridan73 7 күн бұрын
Leave. There’s no excuse for the betrayal, and you don’t deserve to put up with it
@DangerOUSXD666 7 күн бұрын
Awesome to hear both yalls growth! Funny as a single person looking to be better hearing all these partners being interested in the program really shows that lot's of people are willing to learn and grow for themselves. It really shows the power of the program and what yall teach! Your not just repairing relationships, you are healing people! I'm definitely interested in joining to just take more control of my life and lead it with confidence. Even just the KZbin videos itself planting the seed of different interpretations(within myself) and viewing things with diff paradigms has been eye opening. So much to learn!
@GeoffreySetiawan 6 күн бұрын
Would be honored to help!
@DangerOUSXD666 6 күн бұрын
@@GeoffreySetiawan It'd be a privilege! Over a year now of seeing your content and I've learned so much! Seeing everyone's inspiring battles with themselves to just growing and being better really showed there was more to your channel under building a fulfilling relationship. The internal shift series still has to be some of my favorite videos and I STILL watch them to do auto suggestions how I can lol. Tbh I was always hesitant on applying cause of the singleness but I'll def save for it!
@livewithinthedream 7 күн бұрын
Bam. The world is good. "Find the fundamental purpose in your partners mindset, meet them there, understand them deeply and find a win win" so we then turn that negative into positive. This is genius. I have been changing for months and didn't think of this until learning "how to learn" by applying and then GOING BACK to relearn the basics with the new understanding. Dude, it is literally enabling people to rebuild their foundation!
@Galeb11 7 күн бұрын
Thank you, Geoffrey. Your videos are very helpful. My ex has completely lost feelings for me and sees me as a friend. Now she’s traveling around the world, maybe even chatting with someone, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Do you have any suggestions on what I should do?
@GeoffreySetiawan 6 күн бұрын
Have you watched my internal shift series? After you watch that, tell me what the issue is here.... I mean, do you really think that of the 5,000+ clients I have, you're the only one who feels this? :)
@Galeb11 6 күн бұрын
@@GeoffreySetiawan I have already watched Internal Shift series as you were uploading them. Obviously, I should start over again :) As you said, they are relatively easy to understand conceptually, but hard to do it experientially and specifically. I am not sure but I think one of the issues is that I still have the same mindset that initially turned her away from me which is a deep insecurity in myself that I am trying to hide. That's why I am acting covertly needy, because of lack of safety, lack of control, lack of approval and trust. Also, I have some combination of mind viruses: self flagellation illusion, urgency illusion, lack of opportunities illusion, allergy to resistance, FAE bias. I know for sure I'm not the only one. Before, I watched other videos on this topic as well, and they say that you need to create value for your ex to come to you, that you shouldn’t be too available, and that she need to feel like she could lose you. After watching your videos, I feel that’s not entirely true unless you do the work on making yourself irreplaceable and capable of building all five pillars for sake of yourself. Otherwise, it is manipulation and it is not genuine and she can feel that. However, it’s challenging when you’re not sure how to apply that in specific situations while having blind spots and falling for mind viruses. Also, maybe it is because I don't know material very well and I don't practice it enough.
@2pacorwhat 7 күн бұрын
This is incredible. I wish I saw this a month ago, but all hope is not lost. Ive got a lot of work to do.
@livewithinthedream 7 күн бұрын
Okay, watched the entire thing. I am happy for her outcome, and of course there is always more process work for both of them to do as it is the human experience. I hope her partner realizes the value to also live in the moment not simply in the "what if" future after his medical degree. Tomorrow is not promised. As for Elisa saying there is an illusion of there being infinite people to date; I would say it isn't so much an illusion it is just that those are all people who, as Geoffrey worded, want to play games(which is the norm at this time). People who carry the same problems the old "you" carried around. So the grass really isn't greener until you create the environment for it to grow. The takeaway? Embrace the moment without bias, understand that you can always grow in greater and more positive ways, and of course DO THE WORK.
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
The grass is not greener on the other side, it is greenest where you water it :) A lot of people these days do not know how to water their grass, and when the grass dies, they blame the grass, instead of learning how to nurture them better. But once you learn to make the grass green, you realize that creating thriving relationships is much much much easier than people make it seem.
@livewithinthedream 7 күн бұрын
@@GeoffreySetiawan Well said!
@chrispanganiban9489 7 күн бұрын
Hey Geoff would really appreciate sharing your thoughts about a verbal abusive wife
@Freskko 7 күн бұрын
Fuck man I was looking for one like this. Your timing!! I rewatch hers all the time.
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
I got you fam!😉
@cell5066 7 күн бұрын
Just the title alone is basically my situation. It doesn't matter if she's/he's dating someone else, if yall have nothing keeping yall tgt, never been married, no kids etc. If you see others becoming such a great partner and the kind of relationships they can create, don't you want to become that person? That's my motto, I want to become the best person for whoever I meet and interact with in my life. I can never go back seeing what is really possible
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
The ironic part - If you change yourself to get an outcome, your changes will seem so in-genuine, and ironically, will never get the outcome. When you learn to LOVE the process of change intrinsically, without any expectation of an outcome, the outcome falls to you. This is why clients like Elisa keeps having better outcomes fall to them :)
@cell5066 7 күн бұрын
@GeoffreySetiawan so simply wanting to be like them, is aiming for an outcome
@livewithinthedream 7 күн бұрын
Based on the title I am looking forward to this one! Just recently signed papers with her, but was able to thrive thanks to my shifts. We had a great conversation about it, and still talk with video calls three or four times a week. You know what's weird? You still love them but even divorce doesn't shake you. Them dating someone else doesn't even shake you(when this happens for me I am excited). It is like...okay that's happening, but it doesn't change ANYTHING. Giving G the I owe you for now, and will respond to the vid when done.
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 5 күн бұрын
You're gonna love it. It was fucking fantastic. If you haven't already, I'd watch Elisa's first interview with G just to get some context
@livewithinthedream 5 күн бұрын
Yes it was great! Made sense and love the confidence in these guys. I watched the interview with Chris today as well and had a fucking revelation. It was weird cause I felt different then saw my soon to be ex wife. Who started texted me a ton after meeting today. My mind is in overload and I gotta sleeeep
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSELBODS Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! kzbin.info/aero/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 5 күн бұрын
You need to offer her a job with RR :D
@Krulltek 8 күн бұрын
I've been listening to you for a couple of months now, which is exactly how long my wife and I have been separated. I have been creating an internal shift. It is helping, but it doesn't seem like we will reconcile. I don't know what to do.
@MrBostony 8 күн бұрын
steadiness
@atvarsbuka9304 8 күн бұрын
Some time into the future a man inside him will awake and he will undestand his wife was plowed by some dude and for a while he had been convincing himself it was his fault. There is no one way solution to this. If she does not change with him, then it will just return to status quo because she will keep her end of behaviour that is 50% responsible for that shit as well. So her behaviour will drag him back to the beginning or he will loose all self respect and be a rag for a woman to shit on.
@jeffhardy6725 9 күн бұрын
In the same situation with my wife who moved out a month ago. Need all the help and prayers guys. Still want to work on our marriage but unfortunately she’s given up on me and us and looking to get a divorce.
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 9 күн бұрын
33:15. Boom. Mic drop. If theres one thing you take from this video, what Geoff says there is it
@MieshaWilliamson 9 күн бұрын
I would love more info on how to build emotional safety when it currently is not there or the situation is unsafe
@CREDMANSR 10 күн бұрын
If i suggest to go be with someone else, then there's no relationship. We both putting the relationship on hold 😂😂😂
@katlehomoeca9513 10 күн бұрын
How do you heal her heart? She's not angry at me, but she's very angry at herself for allowing me to hurt her time and time again.