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@Jake.tm_politics 20 сағат бұрын
Well I asked the right questions, she's been avoiding telling me the truth. I was told today that she no longer is in love with me. I didn't react I took it calmly and I asked her what made her feel this way. I'm currently a 1000 miles away. I'm in military training and it's hard to do this over the phone.
@user-ur7wc4wo8f Күн бұрын
This is amzing. Ive been lost and struggling to get thru to my partner to open up positively. Our communication is non exsistent at times and even thou we hav seperated for a year now we intereact for the kids. I wwant us to work out but struggling to communcate and have healthy meaningfull.convos
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 Күн бұрын
Another great video. A couple takeaways for me on this one, y'all were talking about being a leader in the early part of the video and what it's like being a leader. The company I work for, employees fill out monthly surveys on how the leadership is doing. And they take it to heart and make a great place to work. Second you were talking about Want vs Need...that's another good way to think of being untethered. YES, you WANT the outcome BUT you NEED to focus on the pillars, on safety first.
@johncardinal5220 Күн бұрын
I get it but once again it's always about the woman's reality. No matter how you feel does not matter.
@spittaz1 Күн бұрын
Thanks man..been giving my wife space for a month. With occasional contact. Now we have a dinner date set. I think you know what you're talking about
@user-cl8yi4fd9e 3 күн бұрын
hey Geoff I got a question about soc. when you go in to soc do you write what you feeling and do you write your thoughts down. or you just do soc all in your head. before shifting the negative feelings in to positive ones.
@rramr 3 күн бұрын
Great video Geoffrey. Could you please do a long form video about the process of becoming bulletproof
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 4 күн бұрын
If I could afford Geoffrey's program, I'd be like this guy and have printouts of like everything...
@FutuerstradingLIve 4 күн бұрын
Last week my girl told me she want a break. I said ok take your time. After I didn’t bother her no calls no text
@InnocentHandbag-np9ey 4 күн бұрын
Exactly what i did with de 4 part... Hope it will work
@narciacammon 5 күн бұрын
What do you do when she wants no contact and is moving on with someone else? I’m aware to keep focusing and growing in ways that I can control, but where do I draw the lines with respecting what she wants which is zero contact, versus creating opportunities for myself? I understand planting seeds but also aren’t I inadvertently destroying safety and not listening to what she wants if I reach out ? Should I learn to enjoy the process of her wanting a different relationship because I’m not yet of high enough value and that would be fair to her?
@GeoffreySetiawan 4 күн бұрын
Have you watched my videos on no contact & being blocked? Have you seen my interviews on these too? (e.g. Michael, Eve, Elisa, Ian, etc...) What do they do?
@narciacammon Күн бұрын
Yes it seems your clients focus on the internal shifts and growing, which is understandable. I’m still learning these things every day or at least trying to. But she says she’s moved on. I don’t want her to feel im forcing her out of relationship/limerance against her will by forcing contact. I’m not doubting I can still grow more! I’m not understanding what should I do if she actually has found the right qualities with someone else? I feel I’m being very empathetic about what she wants and that seems to be partially the basis to emotional safety. It feels almost paradoxical to even try to create contact. Almost Like I’m a creep. But it’s only because I love her. Am I too tethered? I’m still not understanding the nuance to creating contact when I should want her to be happy. She seems happier with me out of her life. Although I am changing daily, I just don’t really understand what to do when she doesn’t even want to resist me anymore, just stay far away. How can I even create a cycle to change this ? Maybe you can provide me with a little help or clarity. Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I should just watch the videos over again until I find answers
@GeoffreySetiawan Күн бұрын
@@narciacammon You have not mastered the frameworks, and you are confused that you don’t know how to use it properly and find the right angles & how? How long do you think my best clients take to master the frameworks, and under close supervision of the coaches and other members?
@narciacammon Күн бұрын
Yes I understand. I can say I at least have a good grasp on the frameworks. Which might put me a cut above the average. But it’s probably as you say, I need to be 10x before partner can even consider coming back. Why leave the commitment you have for something that might be slightly better ? The refrigerator analogy. I think it’s similar to what you describe about grading my own homework. Even the best of the best need to be kept on track Do you think I’m at the point where I should stop trying to create contact and live with the pain and focus on growth? I’ll keep using the free tools but hopefully I can get in when I’m able. Thanks.
@GeoffreySetiawan Күн бұрын
@@narciacammon Are you really in a position where you can tell where you are on the curve without seeing the playing field? Are we really in a position to tell you what you can/cannot do without understanding your true skill in frameworks?
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 5 күн бұрын
1:06:17 if you take one thing from this video this should be it
@lowkey_minir60 5 күн бұрын
She told me she'll bounce back 😩 then she said she loves me 🥺 im really confused with the term "bounce back" does this mean shes going to move on or come back and mend our relationship
@Orcabracer 5 күн бұрын
Maybe this is a super insensitive take but I have always assumed that the act of sex itself is generally immensely satisfying, for men and women. The honeymoon phase,vacations, or numerous other random times my wife seems to enjoy it more than I ever could. Yet there are other times where she seems bothered or extremely uncomfortable. It’s so sad to think that the capacity to want and enjoy great sex lies within all woman but all the prerequisites have to be met before they can.
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 5 күн бұрын
20:54...I'm right there with you. I love who I'm becoming too. And that's why I keep going!
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 5 күн бұрын
I know this video is a year old but I love it when YT brings up a video of Geoffrey's that I haven't seen :)
@bobbyrangel5427 5 күн бұрын
How do you know she’s given in
@comitosway 5 күн бұрын
Woman love to monkey branch! That’s why they say they want space! In woman words see other people
@StevoSparta-tt5vu 6 күн бұрын
lol it all clicks 6 months later. I finally have the right why, life has been bliss, work and friends, I am contend and happy, she still wants to sign but wants to rebuild our trust and start square one. We will see if I still want it down the line. Thanks G
@Maroworldvan 6 күн бұрын
Man I'm going to put your picture on my wall lol . Good stuff
@melkerner 6 күн бұрын
Always the man's fault or responsibility. How about you hold Women accountable for ONCE!
@GeoffreySetiawan 6 күн бұрын
We do. We have many women clients. Lol. And many of them have done their success interviews with me. We just work with people who own their 100% of the 50%, so that it actually leaves you with something to do that is in your control. If we just make videos blaming your partner for everything, what good does it actually do you? DOes it actually give you anything you can do that is in your control to remedy the situation? The only thing that leaves is to LEAVE - and you don't need a video to tell you that.
@shareshareshare8590 6 күн бұрын
I've been a bit controlling and insecure about her past. Yesterday, she asked for space, just for a few days, and hinted that she wanted at least one day without being bothered by me. She said she was tired but still loves me. Initially, I resisted, begged, and got mad, but eventually, I gave her the space she wanted. The good news is, she still updates me when she gets to work. I intended to go no contact, but when she updated me, I sent a brief message like, "Don't forget to bring drinking water," and then left her alone as she requested. I didn't react on social media by deactivating my profile or sharing sad posts like I usually would. Later, during her workday, she messaged me as if nothing had happened, and now we're back to normal. The lesson here is to give her the space she asks for. Keep contact minimal and avoid bringing up any issues during that time if you do message.
@shareshareshare8590 6 күн бұрын
I've been a bit controlling and insecure about her past. Yesterday, she asked for space, just for a few days, and hinted that she wanted at least one day without being bothered by me. She said she was tired but still loves me. Initially, I resisted, begged, and got mad, but eventually, I gave her the space she wanted. The good news is, she still updates me when she gets to work. I intended to go no contact, but when she updated me, I sent a brief message like, "Don't forget to bring drinking water," and then left her alone as she requested. I didn't react on social media by deactivating my profile or sharing sad posts like I usually would. Later, during her workday, she messaged me as if nothing had happened, and now we're back to normal. The lesson here is to give her the space she asks for. Keep contact minimal and avoid bringing up any issues during that time if you do message.
@stacram87 6 күн бұрын
damn this was good shit!
@GeoffreySetiawan 6 күн бұрын
🙌
@npwarr2651 7 күн бұрын
Shit is impossible to get bulletproof. Especially when there is 0 guarantee it’s gonna work
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 7 күн бұрын
You need to make this interview part of your program Geoffrey
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 7 күн бұрын
23:30 another big point
@surya123457 7 күн бұрын
are you indonesian? really need such like this in bahasa
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 7 күн бұрын
9:18 BIG reveal there. Pay attention to what he said there
@fabiansutton5072 7 күн бұрын
Hi Geoffrey I thoroughly enjoy your videos, especially the one on untethering. To be come fully untethered Is it to be come totally untethered in my daily life, work RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE. So I So I become independent and non dependant of my neediness for my partner/wife and relationship? Which will remove my insecurities.
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
That sounds like indifference to me.
@essencevfx2667 7 күн бұрын
This was one of the best videos - I Can't wait to start with the program this week .
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
Noice! See you soon!
@Swifty_forever_only13 8 күн бұрын
I've tried that. What if my wife is using triangulation and even engaging in a smear campaign? What if her mother is abusive? I'm feeling confused now. I used to think she was a covert narcissist. I can even bring up her mother's name, who has significant influence over her. She feels safe with her mother, but does that indicate she has poor boundaries? This has been the case since I met her. Does my wife exhibit signs of emotional immaturity, instead of narcissistic traits? Same for her victimisation and blame shifting? I have ever received genuine apologise! Never shows vulnerability, even to show affection. I have been all my life trying to please her.
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
I'll just say this - If you believe your partner is such a bad person that even though you gave her the PERFECT ENVIRONMENT and every reason possible to behave well, that she still acts like a narcissist... Then you need to get out of that relationship, but both people's sake. But the irony in that is this - would you personally feel safe with someone who thinks that lowly of you? So have you REALLY created the perfect environment? And if you admit that you have not created the perfect environment, why not learn to? I can tell you, thousands of my clients have learned the right ways to create the 5 pillars, and they are always amazed as to how much their partner changes too, and realize how much more potential their partner actually had. And you cannot just say "I tried that" - are you sure you tried it with the right HOW and WHY? You can't just go to the gym, do it all wrong, and say "Tried that - doesn't work!" :)
@LorenzoMasterConnector 8 күн бұрын
Ok so do we do this only in person or can we do this through text?
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 8 күн бұрын
This was a really encouraging video. Thanks Ian and Geoffrey!
@lukeleonardrasmussen3550 8 күн бұрын
See people razz Geoffrey for not having the degree in Marriage and stuff, but I think that's what makes his approach so much better. Gottman, marriage helper etc don't teach you what Geoffrey teaches. They don't teach emotional safety. NOTHING that Geoffrey teaches is anywhere in Marriage Helper or Josh Hudson. I feel like they take a logical approach. Geoffrey doesn't.
@zamyoutube 8 күн бұрын
Coach I really got to ask you this because I see this a lot in your vids: what if she comes back and she lets the floodgates open... And the way she expresses that is by extreme disrespect and even with physicality?!
@GeoffreySetiawan 7 күн бұрын
I'll just say this - If you believe your partner is such a bad person that even though you gave her the PERFECT ENVIRONMENT and every reason possible to behave well, that she still acts like a narcissist... Then you need to get out of that relationship, but both people's sake. But the irony in that is this - would you personally feel safe with someone who thinks that lowly of you? So have you REALLY created the perfect environment? And if you admit that you have not created the perfect environment, why not learn to? I can tell you, thousands of my clients have learned the right ways to create the 5 pillars, and they are always amazed as to how much their partner changes too, and realize how much more potential their partner actually had. And you cannot just say "I tried that" - are you sure you tried it with the right HOW and WHY? You can't just go to the gym, do it all wrong, and say "Tried that - doesn't work!" :)