Babalwa & Zola | Raising kids your way

Hey guys... In this video we delve into raising kids our way
Sit back, relax and enjoy the video

[@asemahle_senene]

I totally get Babalwa but strongly agree with Zola..Knowing yourself and your roots is very important ..Where Zola is from is where his kids are from

[@nomfunekonosilela3895]

Ndiyavuma times have changed but knowing how to speak your language is a definite way of understanding your culture. The painful part is Africans are literally the only race whose children speak other languages to the detriment of their own. I live in the UK but I spoke Xhosa to my son since he was born and 10 years later it's so satisfying to hear him speak, it takes a lot of patience but if you start now you will see a difference in no time coz their brains are still developing that's why it's easier for children to learn new languages. Also it helps with brain development, children who speak multiple languages become smarter. Sometimes I used to pretend I didn't understand him when he spoke English and he would be forced to speak Xhosa. In the past two years in his school he realised the benefits when they were singing some South African songs, even though the teacher knew the meaning from Google translate he had to help them with pronunciations, one song he ended up doing most of it solo as the other children kept forgetting the words. He is now asking me to teach him SeSotho coz sometimes when I want to skinner that's what I have to speak coz he knows IsiXhosa and English.

[@nononomkhonwana1479]

Zola I agree with you

[@zolamcacisomcaciso5064]

I need the patience to start speaking Xhosa to them all the time . I need to work on it. Thank you for reaffirming

[@nyamekancapayi]

Totally agree with you Zola

[@FEMININELY_ME]

This is beautiful, Nomfuneko ♥️

[@yola8314]

I agree with this. We need to be intentional about teaching our kids their language and culture. In my house, the rule is to speak only Xhosa so they know it...that also goes for us as mom and dad...we speak Xhosa to each other to set an example.

[@Asi_y]

Zola is spot on 👌

[@Emihle_g]

Kids must speak both languages but especially IsiXhosa❤It’s their home language

[@lulufierce01]

Exactly. It doesn't matter how educated and wealthy we become as Africans. I live by this

[@MomnBabies]

I'm with you Zola on this one, Babalwa is very modern. Makasiyeke wethu nobu nolali bethu.

[@thandiwempumiloved]

Yoh this lady speaks so lovely and soft, wow!

[@mbandazayoyolisa5849]

Zola uyibambe njalo Bhuti you are 100% correct brother. Times evolving does not mean now we must contribute in ukulahla amasiko nezithethe zethu.

[@sinazompehlo5818]

Hey guys, I hear both of you guys. I have to say the point yemvelaphi ka bhuti makes sense. I was born in Capetown while my mom was studying,then my grandmother took over and I lived with her in Ec. Once my mom found a job in JHB I moved to love with her and then she passed. I went back to my gran. Now I'm working in JHB and have a family here. But I genuinely consider my self owase nqushwa EC.

[@zintlelady-gracekwenene6212]

I think enye into ezosinceda kuthanda ugoduka sibaqhelise abantwana bethu ukhe uthi xa kuvalwe izikolo siyazi uba siyabagodusa especially if ungumntu okholelwa kakhulu emasikweni,if kunesiko elikhoyo moweni make sure xa uya awubashiyi lanto ingabanceda bazakhele la relationship nabanye abantwana abathetha isixhosa myb banganawo nomdla wogoduka xa kuvalwe nezikolo.nd senze sure uba apha endlin sithetha IsiXhosa English izothethwa eskolweni.

[@azola_dawedi]

I agree with Zola......ngokwesintu abantwana benu ikhaya labo lelakuloZola. Meaning your kids originally come from Gatyane. Yes they born in Cape Town and raised in Cape Town but imvelaphi yabo nengcambu zabo zikuGatyane. Also it is very important to teach our kids our culture and we make sure that they understand. Just because we live in the 21st century that does not mean now we have to be white black people. We need to remain black and just upgrade our way of living in terms of "soft life" if I may say. Kodwa the way we live should not erase uba singobani kanye kanye.

[@ntsikamapoloba9510]

Zola uyindoda yesiXhosa we actually really need men like you and in the process it is easy to let go of your culture and the kids will not know nothing about amasikho nezithethe zalapha ekhaya

[@themcacisofam]

Thank you so much guys for the engagement on this video... We truly appreciate all the feedback

[@AnathiB]

I’m so mind blown, just came across your video now and we were having this discussion just last night. Babalwa raised all the points I raised in that discussion and hubby raised all the ones Zola did, it’s crazy!

[@amogelangmauwane4670]

Team Babalwa on this one. I was born and bred in Joburg. It is my mvelaphi, when I bought a house I did umsebenzi and emsamo told my ancestors this is where I now am, I’ll raise my kids here and they’ll know this to be home. When I go visit emakhaya (mom or dad’s), I’m visiting their home, where they were born and grew up. Kanti when do we start with our own ways of doing things? Disclaimer: not neglecting language, culture etc.

[@The_emoji]

Your house will never be your home, it is your children's home. Your father's house is your home. When your kids say umlando wabo they will have to trace your roots, your fathers roots and your grandfathers roots.

[@anovuyotyityi6783]

I hear uZola. Kukho lanto yoba umntu avele emaphupheni wesizukulwana makayothathwa ufuna ungcwatyelwa kokwabo. Ebesiyaphi ngok sefuna ugoduka.

[@mihlefono]

I love this conversation. I understand Babalwa's stance and I totally agree that culture must evolve. But uZola is right in saying other things are just the basis of who we are. I relate to this because I was born in the Eastern Cape but left the province as a toddler. I grew up in different parts of the country but I understand uba ngingowase Eastern Cape kuGatyane. The boys2men camp situation keh yona will be very tricky and I think a child could easily miss the point of the entire customary practice if they are not exposed to izinto zesintu before.

[@Sweetness_g]

But Mihle uzalelwe eEC qha wemka umncinci. Abantwana babo bazalelwe eKapa. If the kids move abroad xa bebuya baza kubuyela kule ndlu yabo bahlala kuyo bathi that is their home not kulo Zola. Aren’t their kids from Cape Town?

[@Sweetness_g]

But Mihle uzalelwe eEC qha wemka umncinci. Abantwana babo bazalelwe eKapa. If the kids move abroad xa bebuya baza kubuyela kule ndlu yabo bahlala kuyo bathi that is their home not kulo Zola. Aren’t their kids from Cape Town?

[@mihlefono]

@@Sweetness_g In my view, imvelaphi yabo iseEC. Isilungu keh siyabhida. I think when you talk about your “home” it’s okay to refer to a place that feels like home. But I wouldn’t say ndingowase FS. Even though I left the EC as a 2year old, it’s still where I’m from. But I also understand why one would say that. And honestly, it has to be what you make it out to be. And of course, it’s dependent on what you believe in.

[@olwethuntwana2514]

I agree with Zola and I love this…thank you so much guys, let’s allow our husband to lead the way the see fit❤️❤️❤️

[@AvMkorwana]

Uyindoda Zola, undim mos wena. Very strong and interesting argument from both sides. Topic thats very close to my heart. 100% relating to this. Ubabalwa uthi mandisile e🇬🇧 kusekhaya nalapa😂

[@UsisiphoJames]

Its actually quite sad that we as amaXhosa are so quick to throw away izinto zethu zesintu and call it moving with the times. When we look at other cultures like the Arabs they are moving with the times as who they are and its so beautiful to witness. I truly think there is a level of self hate within us which is understandable because of what we have been through,this year God has been highlighting to me how much arrogance I have towards my culture being the first generation being born eKapa,I went to english speaking schools and having white teachers give me negative perspective towards our culture calling our traditions backwards and even demonic in the christian belief. I feel like we have space now in the modern society to build wealth and now have the opportunity to embrace our culture and traditions.

[@pamelagola2245]

I agree with Zola so much, Im from CT but my husband is from eMqanduli in Mthatha. Umntana wethu is born in CT but we are raising her simxelela uba ingowase Mthatha not aphe CT. I grew up in a household engenzi rituals but pha emzinam ko Nyawuza rituals are done and my husband is big on them. Iv heard to learn to adjust

[@zaza1989ish]

Totally agree with Babalwa on this, I share same sentiments. Moreover, for me I think marriage symbolizes a new era for the couple. Therefore, the roots for the kids are where they were raised, when they speak of "imvelaphi" yabo, childhood memories generally will be dominated by Cape Town/where parents settled. So in essence they know where they are from, born, bread, raised in Cape Town. I may have been born in Eastern Cape but does not mean that my kids should/should not follow my way of life so now they are also from my home town in EC. As they grow i can influence them, expose them to different forms of life but ultimately they will at some point choose their way of living. So I doubt that they would choose something they not familiar with. The circumcision issue very interesting my husband has same view as Zola, so I have advised him to expose our son to the practice so that when its time for him to go it is not a shock. Although i think issues ezifana nokungena ebuhlanti will be non issues to my son/next generation because uzobe engekho familiar with that so really not bothered. Yhoo!!!! language is a huge issue, my daughter 5yrs uyakwazi ukuthetha kancinci but can fully understand. I would love for her to be fluent but also I have realized that in the kind of environment we are raising her in, very difficult. For example she is at school 7am till 5pm speaking English, then we get home 5:30 by 7pm she is bathing and getting ready for bed, leaves me with very little time to converse with her in Isixhosa, however I am trying. I read books zesixosa naye, send her to grandparents etc, but difficult. Maybe a question is Why should the kids be from where you (Zola) are from? Are you not building your own "Home" A place that you want your kids to call home. Very interesting

[@nwabs]

I agree with izinto ezithethwa nguZola but Babalwa has valid points here. Firstly Zola uthi uSisixhosana but your kids are not, I get why you would want for izinto zabantwana bakho to be done ekhaya, as they should (being the sxhosana that you are ) but your kids will start their own traditions and they won’t be sxhosanas, they may want to be burried here in CPT, the place that they were born, grew up in and are most familiar with and automatically the generations to come after them may end up doing izithethe apha eKapa, in their own home. If that’s the case, no one will frown upon them when they speak English ebuhlanti. Times are changing and so is everything. And remember they will be speaking this English addressing you, their ancestors, with the understanding that they’ve always spoken English when you guys were still alive.

[@athandwaleesa3048]

Well said Mr Mcaciso and all your points are legit and i also believe in all that you've stated♥️👏Thank you so much bhuti and izinto ezinje kuyafuneka zondlalwe xakukho ixesha

[@athandwaleesa3048]

And in some ways xa befika eZilalini abantwana bangaphela sebebonwa njengabantu abazibona bengcono and get funny comments from their peers xa kuthethwa bangavi nenye into ethethwayo

[@athandwaleesa3048]

They might not have access kwezinye izinto ngenxa ye language of Communication especially boys kuba benoxanduva oluninzi more than females

[@tabisagantsho6536]

Zola has valid points. Our origins are in the rural areas.

[@asemahle_senene]

Precisely

[@noisyhoisy6283]

But South Africa as a whole is our land.. why zonke indawo zezethu bethuna.

[@Thulare_Ramokgopa]

I agree with Zola. I share the same sentiments with regards to origin. I can NEVER consider myself as someone who is from jhb. No! My origins are in Limpopo. Might go there once a year but Limpopo will remain HOME🤍

[@roziemoela7465]

I’m with Zola on this one , knowing where you are from and practicing your culture is very important to the black nation. Let’s not lose who we are because the world is changing. And Babs if Zola is gonna get buried in the EC in the village, that means that’s also where you gonna get buried so along with your kids. That’s why in African culture when they say you don’t just get married to your husband you get married to their entire family and beliefs. But please continue talking to your kids in their home language as much as the world is changing , we are coming back to who we are.

[@nomabhelumbane639]

Babalwa has very valid and strong points 👌👌👌 but being unolali kundenza ndivumelane noZowla kakhulu

[@fiefienamanje150]

I fully agree with uZola ndaz noba lento nam ndisiSxhosana 😝 owam umama ebesxelela kakhle uba "khumshani pha eskolweni kodwa kwam kuthethwa isxhosa 🤷‍♀️

[@sindiswasheleni262]

I have not heard, Babalwa saying we can do our cultural events here in Cape Town in our house, therefore I agree with Zola, u Babalwa uyalahleka.

[@RobyynFenty]

But kaloku the environment abaphila kuyo might not allow for some cultural and traditional practices uba zenziwe pha. Abanye abakwazi uxhela kwii ndawo abahlala kuzo because abamelwane bangasibizela i SPCA mntakabawo🤣🤣 great points raised by them both.

[@sindiswasheleni262]

@@RobyynFenty true, they have time to think it through and establish the best possibilities for both of them including young ones, noko their handsome boys are still young., usually ke kodwa into zotata zigqitywa ngotata, hlambi ke zabe sezitshintshile izinto by then, I doubt so though., as for language it’s something we all are trying our best, andisithethi kemna isingesi endlini umntu uphelela pha., bakafunuthetha athule. I’m trying to have Xhosa speaking days more than English speaking days to try to be flexible and accommodative.,

[@theawesomekhanyi1101]

I love how both of u have a conversation. Mna ke ngivuma into ka babalwa ❤❤❤

[@yololwethumdleleni7]

I definitely agree on the fact that ancestors can be spoken to at anytime but as ubhut Zola says akhona amasiko which require bakwenziwe umqombothi, kunxitywe, kuxhelwe, kuthetha ebhuhlanti directly there. Those are also requirements of izinyanya zethu and what they want and we need to respect it. Doing those rituals is also a very NB form of communication.

[@msbee47]

For the longest time I did not really know what to answer people, when they asked where I am from because my mother travelled a lot with me due to work...but what Zola says makes much sense Thank you so much 🥲I now understand my identity ❤️

[@mihlesihlali5769]

We deserve a video on religion and traditions.❤️it will be a very interesting one.🙌🏻

[@kaybobie813]

This conversation is so interesting as umxhosa that has lived in Pretoria for majority of my life 😂😂I say I’m from Pretoria but I also say I’m from eastern cape 😭EC will always be home ngoba inkaba yam ipha kwaye it’s where I’ll always go back to if all else fails in the city All in all siyafana ne expats in these cities

[@ntombisilotile1342]

Thank you guys for this ndiyavuya ke abantwana bosazi isiXhosa Love you guys kakhulu

[@siyasangadyalo-paliso3218]

I hear Babalwa’s point, but Zola is so spot on. I agree with him.

[@momofthree5591]

Inzima sana into yabantwana bethu abangazi ulwimi lwabo atlist niyqaphele besebancinci and nifuna ukuytshintsha kwangoku...big up to u rents...

[@lulufierce01]

Akamhle uBabalwa 😍

[@abongilenotakela7769]

Guys niyandixoza😂😍 I don't even know wat to comment sana imnandi le topic ND jonga ityebile sana ❤️

[@LoveInMarriage]

I get Babalwa, and this is so me Shem. Where I am is where my family belongs.

[@thimnaxhamela7969]

Babalwa makes so much sense.

[@annatembe4629]

Loved the convo guys… my son grew up only speaking English at around 7/8 he started picking up Xhosa from family, school, social etc. he’s 11 now and speaks xhosa fairly well. Because my family is mixed I gave the kid grace to learn each language at his own pace

[@suehlangu1]

An important topic! I relocated to UK 20+ years but that will never make me and my children Scottish (Scotland). Our papers may be British but knowing our roots is what keeps us flying back home. When we say home (Africa) it is our identity. I have the privilege of watching black children grow …. and all gravitate to identity and knowing who they are. ❤

[@zikhonasindaphi4845]

Bhuti Zola you always on point bhuti,ndivumelana nawe kulena shame 💯

[@adventuretimewithree]

Loved this! Your conversations are always so insightful and interesting...

[@vuyomgole755]

Zola don't stress bra. Ndiyindoda yes yesixhosa from emakhaya. Unyana wam was like your kids at age 5 to 6 or so. Now una 11 uyasazi isixhosa no issues ndiyam shiya ekhaya singabikho nomama wakhe and ahlale no problem ye language Your kids are still young they must still learn to differentiate between being at school and at home. Wena just train them that English is for school only and its not to be used at home. They will start seeing and understanding that when they get older. Even ntwana yam seyisithi tjo ndizobali krwala mna tata soon but ngokuya wayesenoma 5 years ndandi ngatsho zinto anozazi ezo .. Qha mna ngo December I expose him kwizinto zelali . Una 11 ngoku

[@athiazola5351]

Ulahleka nyan Babes bethuna there's no way ubengowaseKapa or wherever 🤣😂😂siphuma ezilalin klk sana sinamakhaya

[@nwabisanomxego5119]

Get you Babalwa and I totally agree with Zola if your ancestors are laid in different places thina ekhaya didn't a ceremony silanda imimoya yabo ibesekhaya apho sihlala khona ngku in the EC

[@linamsolisa8295]

Uyibeke yacaca Zolisto, on point.

[@LiyemaSibidla]

i 100% agree with zola on everyting concerning settling endaweni but going back home. also staying endaweni because of circumstance.i do think though that after settling endaweni,you should go build ezilalini for stability for the next generation. with babalwa, i agree on the part of uthandaza and still being fine in life without involving traditional ceremonies. i disagree with her when she speaks about settling because that would mean that as umxhosa,ndinga move.a eBotswana, nditye namatswana and eventually ndizenze umtswana only because of my decisions. ndiqale igeneration yamatswana and have my kids forget uba ngamaxhosa(speaking on behalf of a xhosa man)

[@axolilemalibeni1870]

I agree with ubhuti Zola on this one

[@nandiphanandie1646]

We are moving with times, so it's high time I ask my dad to put her phone enkundleni over a zoom call ndithethe nezinyanya🤣🤣 Babalwa bethuna! I'm with Zola on this one, ungajiki sifuna otata abanjengawe!!

[@NokuphiwaPopi9945]

I strongly believe and am for what Zola is saying, I have a strong link with my roots in the Eastern Cape, I make sure I visit atleast once a year ngoba ndiba home sick if I don't and that part of me will always be there. However, I agree with Babalwa too, and am ready to settle in the town or village of my choice, my elders chose their settling place and I strongly believe that I too, have a right to make my choice 😊

[@siphesihle5707]

Both views are very valid but Zola makes more sense nakum shem.

[@asisiphondlovumalunga4970]

I agree with both, what babalwa is saying is absolutely valid and what Zola is saying is also valid. As much as there is a surge in English speaking black children, there has also been such an incredible surge in us getting back to knowing ourselves, our roots, our customs.

[@Bongi_Sibiya]

I totally agree with uZola. We have adopted the western culture, everything including English. Which is frustrating. I don’t know any African languages fully because of all these dynamics and this is how we are losing it. Look at the khoi and the sans their languages are not even recognised as official languages. That small clan is coming to an end and it’s sad to watch

[@lerato_moahloli]

What Babalwa said is the truth that times have changed and ke ngoku customs are common practices that are acceptable within a certain group of people. Customs can evolve because the people are different. At times when one interrogates ezizinto you find that akho nto ingako just that it has always been done and no real basis. Your boys will be fine there are many boys that have gone to the bush bengakwazi uthetha isiXhosa… Just my 2c worth.

[@FEMININELY_ME]

🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️

[@zonkesmayila3846]

You guys a very necessary conversation ya'll make me so proud of the progress my daughter is making....

[@nononcwana1255]

Great topic

[@sivumankahla8746]

Zola thank you bhuti ndifundile nam kule topic

[@nyathinyathi2445]

Thanks for the convo guys. Phendule kakuhle Mr. Mcaciso - intention sets the tone - if you move to any City for advancement then your ties remain back from where you come from. If ucele ukwalula uMzi and it’s been granted at your home and you set the intention to move to whatever City funeka kulandwe/kwaziswe nabantu abadala. The consequence of not doing things properly tends to take generations after - xakusenziwa imisebenzi eMakhaya far away ancestors don’t benefit until their error of ukubhunguka has been resolved. Unfortunately the ramifications tend to impact lomntu uqale ukwenza lento sele ehambile emhlaben 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@sibusiwengqwemesa9024]

Ucc we gym 🤣🤣❤❤ ndiyanitanda guys

[@lungazyapi2009]

New subbie.. I strongly agree with Zolani

[@nomatamsanqasali7581]

Ncooh I love you guyz this is important Topic

[@kgomotsosetsio]

For this one,im definetly team Zola.And with the poing of people moving back in the days for reasons beyond their control,they moved in groups,as families and settled someone new and created a new home for the family or Clan and do ceremonies to introduce the new place to the ones who have passed to let them know of their move.

[@lelethumaxayi9729]

Enjoyed this conversation😊 nyanisile uBabalwa😂 “They’ll be fine”…Zola is spot on 👌🏽

[@zinziswancokazi214]

Zowlar ndisisiXhosana mna kqala ndivumelana nawe, xa uzazi ukuba ungowaphi goduka qha xa unechance neboys ziyofunda njee izinto zaselalini, nina nihleli kwindlu yenu apho for now kuba niphangela ngapho but abantwana need to know where they from and their home language please, Babalwa Askies baby we 21st Century🤦🏻 😘 otherwise i understand shem necala lakho 😍😍

[@tholakelemntungwa-xq5gj]

Angisanithandi maan especially manigezelana😅yoooooo ngihleka okokoko manigezelana uZola u worse uyathanda usukelana no Babs😅😅

[@sindiswafani]

Guys l am happy that you came up with the topic, it is very important that children grow knowing their ldenty , when you take children to the multi racial , we just want them to have better opportunities not to change and be other races and children can learn many languages at the same time so they have to speak their mother language

[@BamboX444]

“I don’t want to be loved for who I am” 🤣🤣🤣

[@emihlephalezweni8559]

I highly agree with Zola mna, kaloku kuziwe to this big Cities because kuzosetyenzwa hence abazali bethu when they retire babuyele ezlalini because that is where they come from.

[@bongamagwentshu8008]

Great debate guys.

[@zikhonabolana3478]

I totally understand Babe's perspective in the sense that abantwana can't really say ngabase zilalini kodwa iinkaba zabo zise Cape Town.

[@sichumilendamase4051]

Great discussion!! I agree with Zola 💯

[@mbandazayoyolisa5849]

Ndicela uPart 2 where you cover other aspects of raising kids, for example your thoughts on soft parenting.

[@siyamthandapasiya1055]

Ah what a touchy and interesting topic. For me it’s up to the parent to decide what’s best for their child at each stage of their growth. Parents also need to be very careful on imposing their beliefs on other parents. Umntu makazale abone with experience.

[@siphosethu222]

Babalwa is soooooo Me! This conversation was necessary and was beautiful to watch, Bigs up to you guys . Ndiyayiva ne point ka Zola . I think this depends kwi individual and their experiences, for instance I was chatting to my cuzin in the UK telling her about belonging and home. I told her I don’t consider the home I grew up in the rural areas as my home . Home is where I’m at home now . Wabe esithi yena even though she is a permanent resident in the UK but eastern cape will always be her home. Even the rest of my family members consider it as home but for me it’s not . I think it’s tricky ke ngoku when there’s kids involved and different beliefs but I believe when the kids are old will choose for themselves as y’all saying . ❤️

[@nicholasgobha8696]

I like how different Zola and Babalwa are and ne backgound zabo , makes umtshato wabo very interestingeven to themselves, yey the min nifana kakhulu even beliefs noba kubanzima

[@olanikeolutaiwo6084]

I really enjoyed this .love how you guys are so authentic and natural

[@siyoliseyolwa687]

Mna I’m with Zola, inoba it’s because ndingowasezilalini nam. Ndiligoduka mna, andinokhetha ulahla ikhaya nje kuba ndisithi I’m starting my own traditions

[@rithabilephilani219]

Lol ngath baphumile kodwa emxholweni😊😊😊

[@siyamthandapasiya1055]

💯 agree with uZola regarding imvelaphi.

[@mpumeimakhwasa8801]

Whatever you believe in 100% also gives to you 100%

[@diyanetsestephen1123]

Hayike wena Zola uvele uyibeke icace if bekuyeyam benzathi yivale let's not forget where we cuming frm I luv you guys

[@likamva_mtshofeni]

shutout to Mr Mcaciso, all the points you put are true. it is what we as XHosa`s have to keep singalilahli isiko nemvelaphi yakuthi. Ikhaya lakho lilapho imvelaphi yakho ikhoyo

[@olwethuntwana2514]

Lol nguMyeni wam nguZola wena Babes undim🤣🤣🤣🤣Asizowina Mntase 🤣🤣🤣🤣Silapha ngoku

[@nomahlubijaba6349]

Ewe Babes i agree correctly with you can talk to your ancestors while you do all those things and the there are times that you beed to do la misebenzi ngoba esasinyanya sithile sakokwenu si believer kulonto so kufuneke ukuba mayenziwe

[@BishopFika]

Hahah Thixo wakho ustrongo 😅😂😂😂😂

[@mphomashane3602]

Great topic and Zola is correct, we don't have patience to teach them our language.

[@taniatshetsha]

I think wena Zola, u Babalwa will understand it better if you make an example of people from another country. Example, people from Zimbabwe come and reside in South Africa, they get married here, build homes here,they have kids here of which will be South African born kids but at the back of their minds they know deep down their origins are Zimbabwe land. And they are still Zimbabweans & their homeland is Zimbabwe. Let alone the fact that they would be SA born. *Thats just an example* Mna for instance, i was born and raised in Cape Town Paarl. My mom being from Queenstown but also grew up in Cape Town with both her parents. They built a home in Cape Town and their lives are in Cape Town but they never abandoned the fact that their HOME is back in the Eastern Cape Queenstown. And as for me, i also grew up in Cape Town but i know my homestead is in Dutywa, where my forefathers are. And i do everything at home in Dutywa not Cape Town. Maybe i would have decided to call Cape Town home if and only if i had not known my origins. Hence Zola says in most cases it happens in some circumstances that people remain in those cities and call them their homes, because they don’t know any other families or there are no houses or people anymore where they are originally from and then they end up calling oo Khayelitsha their homes. And then moving kule point ka Zola, that your kids will go to his homestead to perform their rituals and all of those things, i think then it comes down to how things have now changed. We honestly can never force how our kids see things now. If they choose to start their lives where they are (cities) and decide to call that home, it is entirely up to them and we need to support that. But as long as they know where they come from and they not afraid to call that home. But ke they don’t necessarily have to do or build their lives in those places where their forefathers are. Same as amasiko nezthethe, we can’t force them. If they don’t wanna go to the bush, or slaughter animals, or do things the traditional way we do things, we have no control over that. Just like how people will choose between God and ancestors. Into isemntwini. We live in a different century. Akunyanzelekanga senze izinto njengohlobo ekwakusenziwa kdala no matter how much we would like to. Unfortunately. I love this topic guys. Oh and lastly,as for the kids not knowing their mother tongue?! andiyiva ncam. I personally think kids need to know at least one vernac language from either their parents ,should the parents happen not to speak the same language. That i think is very important. We are not saying let’s not communicate with our kids in english but at least they should be able to speak their OWN!

[@pamelagola2245]

I also used to judge people who have kids that only speak English. Now that we have almost 4 year old who speaks English all the time hay ndiyarhoxisa judgement yam 🤣I did not know any better. She told her dad last week “Daddy, I dont speak Xhosa” when her dad spoke to her in Xhosa. My husband’s reply was “Hayi yeka Lingcwele, yeka mntanam”🤣

[@Zeeiconoclastic]

Both of you guys raise strong and valid points. This is complex and is not as black and white as we think but ndivumelana noZola.Great insights guys and I see how your backgrounds shaped your thinking.❤❤

[@asiphenancy7038]

I totally agree with bhuti Zola

[@athenkosimndende]

Maybe baseni kuGatyane for most holidays baqhele uthetha isiXhosa nabanye on top of the lessons bazokhawuleza. Children learn quickly.

[@likamva_mtshofeni]

Very Important Zola❤but klk Babalwa is a person is just going to know him /herself and not go back and to the roots and home that he or she was born in then that would be the time elahleka umntu and ngk everywhere that she become a resident in that particular place, uzakuthi ngowaphayana,NO sis❤let us knwo more about our culture

[@roseb.5367]

This reminded me of the conversations by diasporans from the USA, Canada, UK, etc who have moved to Ghana... Also, i was brought up by my mum in Zimbabwe; dad has always been in SA. One day dad said "Ungalahli amasiko" I instantly got confused... aphi okhulumangawo 🤣🤣😂 As a Ndebele I was exposed to Shona culture when growing up and dad speaks Zulu 🤪. There are some mannerisms I do that are Shona-influenced that other 'people' don't understand nor like coz they don't do them in their culture. Soooo I find myself just not liking culture because we don't belong vele before I even talk about being westernized. Now as a diasporian, I now don't fit in anywhere but at least I know my foundation- ngidabuka kuphi. For now I just embrace what gives me peace. The religion debate is tricky 😂😂 but I'm looking forward to it. Just because emakhaya they have a picture of a white Jesus on their walls, it does mean that he was white. They need to stop talking to those images and remove them 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂 hope these condos won't cost anyone's job

[@pulengmassingo6404]

Asilwaaaaaaanga bethuna yile topic, waphelumzi🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nikiej1241]

Interesting topic guys

[@ShereenRamahuma]

The same way God wants us to know him through Jesus and reading the Word. Same with your ancestors there are ways for you to know them…so practice both well.🥲😬

[@yolisamalo2681]

This conversation was actually great and I hear uBabalwa totally but yet again I hear uZola, I think it's in knowing that their opinions and view points are heavily influenced by their backgrounds and experiences. I for one lean weirdly in-between the two because both my families believe in one of the other and sikhule going to both homes thina and my parents continue to live olwahlobo they were raised hence believing that both ways work and akhoneed to separate them. Ewe ke uthetha isingesi emaxhantini asekhaya is not anything I ever intend on doing but like uBabalwa said izinyanya are not stupid people, they lived this land and bayazazi izinto zinjani. As long as you talk to them ubacenge and explain things I know (from my experience) bazokuva.

[@yangadanti6524]

I agree with Zola 100%❣