Bachelorette - (Greg & Katie #1) - Therapist Reaction

[@florencefiancee]

OH MY GOD, THIS IS HAPPENING! Thanks, to our Dr. Kirk Honda for always hearing to your listeners that want to learn from other people's interactions. You reacting to this made my day! I literally wrote this as a comment under one of your videos and although I know probably a lot of people must've been asking for this, seeing this video now makes me feel so heard xD. Social media is weird in that way. Well, I am so excited to watch this and learn from all the great things that you so often say :).

[@EpiphanysFaithPolitics]

Not saying Dr. Honda didn't hear you but social media definitely had algorithms and programs that tracks us. Today I brought a filter, best to believe a whole bunch of filter ads have been popping up all day. Lol

[@florencefiancee]

​@@EpiphanysFaithPolitics Haha, yes for sure! These kind of things are scary..

[@evelinel.9827]

OMG, so glad Dr. Kirk gave his take on this break up!!! I immediately thought anxious attachment when I saw Greg's reaction when Katie didn't mirror his feelings the way he wanted.

[@loki-xy6tj]

Interesting, I was thinking avoidant because he dealt with it by shutting down and leaving.

[@DoNotFeed_AfterMidnight]

I agree, avoidant seems more in line with his idealization of Katie and then stonewalling her when that perfect image was shattered.

[@bunniewood]

This is exactly what an avoidant would do.

[@EG-kt6kq]

ooh! I'm so happy he's doing this. I was thinking the whole time that I wanted to hear Dr. Honda's thoughts on this breakup. So pleased he decided to do this one!

[@nice2meetyou631]

The reason 90 day fiance is different is because it sells conflict. The Bachelor sells romance. Yet somehow the premise of the bachelor is ten times more absurd.

[@mykidsaresupercute]

When he was talking to his mom it sounded like his expectations of Katie were high, that he had put her on a pedestal. The kind of expectations a person can never fill consistently. Then the person is disappointed, crashes and burns, etc. Which is what happens.

[@pinkopat]

So excited about these videos! Greg seems really in love in this moment, but really he's had one foot out the door the whole time and she's been reassuring him constantly since he first exited the limo

[@raisaa1537]

I agree, it's not fair for Dr. Honda to comment on a ten minute clip when he hasn't watched the entire season.

[@goosebump801]

Commenting to boost the chances @Psychology in Seattle will see your comment. I agree with Dr. Kirk that Greg seems really into Katie here...but he hasn’t seen their earlier dates. My sense is that it’s less about Katie really “getting” Greg, and more about Katie’s *constant* reassurance, building him up, filling some of the void he feels from the loss of his father. IMO, almost anyone willing/able to fill that role would turn on that feelings spigot in Greg - it’s not that Katie, specifically, is perfect for him.

[@PlsWaLuigiDomMe]

@@goosebump801 he literally asks for it not to be spoiled

[@goosebump801]

@@PlsWaLuigiDomMe Sorry, but what exactly did I spoil? Sincerely asking 🤷‍♀️

[@sophiechoate]

Thank you so much for reacting to this! So excited to hear your take!

[@pigpjs]

It's always so hard to gauge reality shows because we only see edits. I can't wait for part 2 because it's so complicated and both will make mistakes.

[@alaricmckenzie-boone2502]

I'm in extreme like with this channel!

[@bigwhy6845]

He puts SO much pressure on her. Letting her know she's a key piece in his grieving process, so if she chooses another guy he'll be broken. It's a threat wrapped in sweetness. He went on a show where it's very transparent he'd be competing with other guys. He's using psychological manipulation to remove her agency.

[@EpiphanysFaithPolitics]

I had similar thoughts. I hate how demanding he became about her reaction. Love isn't supposed to be controlling

[@deeniesmothers9310]

The "filled a hole in my heart" was A LOT.

[@SkyHighHoopz]

Already can't wait for part 2. I am so glad you are doing this because I think people online are attacking him for no reason. I am not on anyone's team, I can see both sides and think both of them handled the conflict terribly which is so sad.

[@chelseygarrett4221]

Yeah I felt really understood by this 4:47. I lost my only parent and I didn't go through the stages of grief so I thought there was something wrong with me. It came in waves of grief. I'm glad to hear this is normal.

[@kaileim970]

Can't wait for part 2 because you have nailed it so far!

[@janetteisgreat]

Important Side note on Katie: Katie lost her father as well and has done therapy. She also found out he was not her biological father in adulthood or at the same time. She can relate to grief of loss of a parent. -- I’m so glad you’re posting this! I don’t watch 90 day fiancé but watch other shows you’ve analyzed. I find your feedback as things play out very interesting and helpful. I did a search for you after this episode aired to see if you were recapping the bachelorette at all, And saw in the latest recap for the franchise that you said it was very complicated to put these recaps together due to the copyright type issues. Thank you to all those who participate in social media more than I who actually emailed/dm/tweeted to request this. I’m glad to Potentially understand where people are coming from when there’s a disconnect and fears/stories on both side resulting in conflict; And maybe this otherwise is an accelerated, more uncomfortable process to find out they are simply not meant to be.

[@57andstillkicking]

Katie actually lost her dad in 2012.

[@janetteisgreat]

@@57andstillkicking thanks for the update ;-)

[@janetteisgreat]

I will update so it doesn’t confuse things for other people who read my comment 😉

[@ifjc7216]

I find it interesting that he says she *totally gets him.* I'm curious if their dates have any depth. 🧐Hopefully he's not projecting a perfect snapshot of who she is instead of getting to know the real her at a natural pace. I haven't watched. Just theorizing

[@christinemiller1967]

I think he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship. Still reeling from the death of his dad. He needs to process that first.

[@ifjc7216]

@@christinemiller1967 it's possible. I have felt the pain of losing a parent I was close to, though grief is different for everyone. I would still mark it as a red flag given the small and likely shallow connection they have had being on the show.

[@Fanoflife11]

All the dates they have they talk about how they miss their dead dads. They really connected over that

[@Live4Katz]

I immediately thought of you while I was watching this! Thank you so much for reacting because I was DYING to know what you thought of their altercation!

[@moonchildmari]

so excited for this series!!! 🥀

[@EpiphanysFaithPolitics]

Dr. Honda you called it. Greg became super controlling and demanding she acknowledge his love. I can understand him expressing he didn't feel heard but he took it to another level and broke up with her because she didn't want to reveal her love before the final rose. He seemed to have self sabotaged this for himself

[@courtneyburke3218]

Yay! Thank you so much for making this. So excited.

[@genesiss440]

Thank you so much for you input on this scene. The entire time I was watching the episode I was hoping you would cover Greg and Katies reaction. Thank you endlessly for you input

[@blackmber]

Thanks for doing this one! I was searching for a therapist reaction immediately after watching that episode.

[@hectorskmetija3015]

I believe love and intense physical pain follow the same route. As in with both at the time are almost overwhelming but once it is gone you slowly forget just how intense it was. Hence with pain like childbirth women do it more than once and love, the next time it feels so unique again. Just my thoughts 🙂

[@serenahardy4457]

My name is Serena l come from the island of Abaco, in the Bahamas. I listen to you constantly, I'm a mature student of psychology, figuring where to go

[@christinemiller1967]

THANK YOU THANK YOU for doing this! This fight is making me mental.

[@abandonablesnowman]

Lol right?? I wonder if it’s because we don’t often see such intense emotionality and disregard for the producers on this show?

[@sweetgirl4u247]

"We've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, run amok and flat out deceived." That's how I felt with that episode. 🥴😕 Just wait... Dr. Honda. Just wait.

[@abandonablesnowman]

I’m so excited! Greg seems to have some sort of personality issue here. I was with him, then fell off when he started being super accusatory

[@amandatraff6912]

Loved this video! Can’t wait to hear what you think of what comes next.

[@LindaEdith]

Love the bachelorette and this analysis! I can't believe that Greg just gave up so easily last episode when he says he's so in love. I would fight for the one I want if I were him. She basically said she wanted to be with him, but she just didn't say I love you like he wanted!

[@ilovetonkatsu]

ahhhh i've been waiting for this!!!!!

[@grubhub1965]

Thank you so much for doing this video!

[@kc2582]

I found it very helpful to hear you talk about this stage concept of grief and that it is not really true. I did not realize that it might one on these outdate concept that does not want to go away.

[@goosebump801]

I really appreciate his talk about grief too. I was fortunate enough to have found this channel early in the pandemic, so had time to absorb many of Dr. Kirk’s excellent lessons. Since my mom died quite suddenly and unexpectedly in October, I’ve had the opportunity to put these lessons to the test. I’ve found that my grief comes in waves. I can be fine one minute, then a thought or memory will just engulf me in pure, overwhelming sadness. In part thanks to Dr. Kirk’s lessons, and in large part thanks to years of excellent therapy, I am comfortable 100% giving myself over to whatever I feel. “The only way out is through” - not sure who may have said this originally, but I say it to myself often 💐

[@kc2582]

@@goosebump801 I am so sorry to hear about your mom! But I am very glad to hear that you are able to cope. For me its my grandma's death (which was neither unexpected or sudden) which hit me really hard. Having this stage concept of grief still in my head, it was very frustrating for me, when ever a wave hit me. Because I always had the feeling that I was stuck in the griefprocess. Hearing that it is totally normal to have this waves kind of took a lot of pressure I put on myself away.

[@goosebump801]

@@kc2582 Thank you, and please accept my condolences as well. Before my mother’s death, the most painful one I’d experienced was my grandmother’s. And it’s excellent that you are now taking it easier on yourself. We can be our own worst critics; others tend to be compassionate to us, and we tend to be compassionate when they’re hurting...so it only makes sense to have self-compassion. 🤷‍♀️ The waves are much less frequent now that we’ve cleared out Mom’s place and put it on the market. Healing takes time, and I’m sure I’ll miss Mom for the rest of my life, but life does go on, and we humans are amazingly adaptable 😊❤️

[@allison7066]

I AM SOOOO HAPPPPPPY YOU'RE DOING THIS

[@soymilkcoffee]

I'm so ready for part 2!!!

[@florencefiancee]

I just finished the video and you are so on point Dr. Honda! Your prediction about Greg is so accurate it is scary! Btw I reloaded this video and liked it because I want this video to get more promoted by the algorithm. If anyone shares this opinion feel free to do so as well ;D.

[@sashaluq]

I am so glad you are giving your take on this! Thanks Dr. HondA! I am about to watch it. I am very curious if we share a similar opinion on this unfortunate breakup. I will comment again when I'm done! :)

[@sashaluq]

Follow up: so far, in agreement. Anxiously awaiting #3 to post! :)

[@Dream1ng]

Bless you, thanks for listening to the peoples :)

[@banakm25]

Here for this !!!

[@naughtonbynature]

You spoil us sir you really do

[@cupcakemae]

OMG YES!!!! I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD REACT TO THIS!

[@jetblack6381]

YES! Dr Honda provides.

[@jayko-mayko2285]

Tune in next to "My Dogs are Barking." Never heard of this show. I look forward to it!

[@erikaaguilar8259]

This is so exciting!!!!

[@bobolambandfam]

50% of my like was because of your feedback/observations, 50% because of the Strokes record in the background!

[@sunflowersentimientos]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS

[@DoNotFeed_AfterMidnight]

Thank you, Dr. Kirk!!!

[@tamaawa]

Hey Dr. Honda! In juxtaposition with Greg and Katie, can you also look at her and Blake? I think the world needs to see more confident and secure examples of relationships!

[@jummy1773]

This!! Their fight made me realize that a lot of ppl might not really know what a healthy relationship is.

[@carljcreighton]

i think the mom told him about Katie using the word "frontrunner" and that's when it all started to go sour

[@lordreyna6924]

Damn what a treat today!

[@jennifergersch9126]

I noticed he's from Seattle. Does he know Katie?

[@sayhitoashley]

I forget what Katie told him during the fight but I remember I kept wishing Katie would just tell him, "I'm not telling anyone I love them until the very end." I think she alluded to it but it's better to be up front so as to not hurt anyone's feelings.

[@amanda4540]

if you can, please react to the next episode where blake meets katie’s family!! it would be very interesting to hear what u think

[@tulip5210]

LOL yes HE DID THE BACHELORRETTE!

[@TheKittenJedi]

Can you explain the hundreds of youtube video comments describing him as a gaslighter, manipulator, etc? I'm genuinely confused why so many people are angry at Greg's behavior.

[@lengl1125]

Hi! I've watched quite a few videos about this too and found the best ones feature a psychologist's expert opinion like Dave Neal and Viall Files where they have Dr Diana Strachowski on. People are angry at his behaviour because they are triggered by it (prob because they experienced similar by an ex partner). I guess if you've never been in that situation you don't get the outrage. I don't hate Greg, I just think he was not in a place emotionally and mentally ready to love someone until he can love himself and make himself happy.

[@adrianamdf]

Greg was her front runner. He was a great guy in love with her. Just like Claire left early during her season to be with her man of choice, Greg is simply implying that she quits the fantasy suites with the other guys if he is the one. In other words why having sex with the 2 other guys. She has great intuition but she ignores his feelings. She said several times that she is a sexually positive person, she also talks about her promiscuity, so I guess that she is looking forward to the 3 fantasy suites. The last week of the process in my opinion is the one that has the potential to destroy a good relationship. Why spending the night with 3 people in a row?… it’s almost like if the winner is a looser. A true winner gets selected during the process and gets respect. Sleeping with the other 2 isn’t that.

[@raisaa1537]

producers ALLOWED Clare to break her contract and leave early. Producers are forcing Katie and all other leads to stay past fantasy suites because it is a part of the show and a part of their contract. If Greg doesn't like the format of the show, he shouldn't have signed up. And the leads don't have to sleep with anyone. Nick, Colton, Sean, and Matt didn't sleep with the other 2 girls.

[@haleigh8406]

Fantasy suites doesn't automatically mean that each date ends in sex and even if it does, they SIGNED UP FOR THIS. Lol.

[@pattyduke3079]

Correction: He did mention depression in his observation. Good!

[@mimimontcerisier2423]

Thank Thank t

[@joanlynch5271]

I think that Greg had his hometown first. So he had a problem before he saw them together.

[@dampandrews9500]

I have no idea what is gunna happen with this couple but something about this Greg guy is scary to me. Like the intensity of his love feels sort of unhinged or desperate?

[@abandonablesnowman]

I know she’s addressed it, but whoever was dressing Katie this season should be fired lol I’ve hated 95% of her outfits. Are we in 2005??

[@kayann100]

Can you please talk about Ted Lasso? Pleeeeaaase?????

[@carebear_xo]

Dr. Honda, could you react or do an analysis of the entire Bojack Horseman show? 🥲

[@jagmaster6595]

Bojack needs to be analyzed even though we can guess why he is the way he is

[@venussuki]

Bingo!

[@kaylanelson617]

Petition for a “my dogs are barking” shirt 👕 like this comment to sign lol 😆

[@sushiunderthestars7238]

At this point anyone who is defending Greg ALSO feel exposed. XD

[@pattyduke3079]

I wonder why all of the therapist I've watched give their opinions on the Greg and Katie saga always comment on how saidGreg appears and even him crying but never mention depression. These are symptoms of depression. They can't give a diagnosis of depression but they could at least mention it.

[@kaylie7808]

Question: isn’t there a code of ethics that therapists are highly encouraged to follow that discourages psychoanalyzing situations/people without paying and asking for their services? @Psychologyinseattle

[@dianajackson7241]

Yes, but Dr Honda says repeatedly in all his videos that he is not diagnosing and only speculating and uses these shows to educate in relationship conflict solutions.

[@laurabarber6697]

She gave him breadcrumbs. She played the role of the bachelorette...and lead guys down the path for the sake of her ego and the show. It's a show and about ratings😒I'll be shocked if these two actually end up married.

[@brittanyott4848]

I love Dr. Honda’s insights, but it absolutely drives me insane when he retells a clip he JUST shows. It’s not insight, it’s literally retelling. Whyyyy.

[@kasimmorathi]

There is just something about the low speaking with "growly" voice that doesn't feel... right to me. It feels a bit monotonous or unemotive relative to what he is saying. I really ought to watch the show instead of just these clips!

[@sunshinesc90]

Yeah definitely watch the full episode. It’s the most dramatic ever!

[@jummy1773]

@@sunshinesc90 lol its the first time that it was actually accurate 🤣🤣

[@caribbeanqueen2912]

WHY WAS HE SPYING OR WATHING THEM???? HE MESSED UP HIMSELF