Mark Kermode - The Lady in the Water

[@Poopchute]

One of the good doctor's best!

[@basehead617]

the iggledypiggledy is hiding in the boodleybong

[@jondellar]

"...the humblest of field mice...' HA HA HA!!! 😂😂😂

[@neilevans8204]

Dead In The Water!

[@luckyspurs]

For some reason I remember this review being 10 minutes long. Instead it's 10 minutes worth of brilliance fit into 3 minutes.

[@westerling8436]

You can play it at 0.25 speed

[@baileyholden654]

this reminds me of that bit in Stardust Memories where Woody Allens character cast himself as God in a movie xD

[@Keypandemon]

I miss this Mark. He’s just indifferent about everything now.

[@philmitchell91]

Yeah, this Kermode is long gone. He's an elder statesman now where he's far more considerate in his reviews. And he also feels the need to champion younger critics who aren't nearly as interesting as when Kermode was in his prime, or even Kermode now.

[@ixat00]

"The naff is coming out of the tree, followed by the scrunt"

[@barbarakirk3064]

I thought Scrunt sponsored Knowing Me Knowing You With Alan Partridge the week the Hot Pants dance troupe were on!

[@JasonX2]

Kermode is actually pretty good looking.

[@AcklinProductions]

2:30 Oh Mark. If only you knew...

[@Experimentalfilms123]

One of my favourite Kermode rants.

[@KRSsven]

I saw this when it came out (but not since) and remember enjoying it. It's a film you have to go with and not view through the prism of whether you liked his previous films or not. As an urban fantasy it actually works. I've never seen Signs and only saw Sixth Sense after it had been praised (and spoiled), but Unbreakable and The Village were great. The Village is a very interesting way of showing what superstition and sheer belief can do and how they ultimately can control us. I remember seeing the twist coming and being slightly disappointed when I saw what was really going on, but its still a good film. The Happening was just ok - nothing actually happens in it except Wahlberg running around wondering what's going on.

[@jskd2953]

I actually really liked Lady in the Water. Yes it's incomprehensible and bizarre but I found it oddly childishly charming if you just go with it. Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard were very good and believable in their parts and the critic character was quite fun. But I still love Mark ranting at it. :)

[@thegrimyeaper]

I watched it again the other day. It's aged beautifully. It's brilliant, compared to what's being made these days.

[@daquidi]

the lady in the water is the one movie of shyamalan that needed a twist...

[@randomisraelite]

had to listen to this again....sadly i do really like the film. always have since i was a kid :D

[@WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

"a whole career going down in flames at the shear awefulness of it all" :)

[@colinr0380]

And this was _before_ the live action Avatar: The Last Airbender film!

[@henman09]

Sorry what I was actually meant to say was that The Happening was after Lady in the Water. The Happening (2008) and Lady in the Water (2006). So the critic thing must have been about Ebert shitting on The Village (2004).

[@DaveM599]

Kermode is an entertaining reviewer and I think he's fair minded for a film critic. I think his genuine love for films does come through.

[@ragnare]

poetry

[@TheDensley7]

I'm surprised Mark took the critic character so seriously. Actually, no I'm not.

[@randomisraelite]

i almost fucking died XD

[@Luvie1980]

I agree.

[@B1ggu5]

"Intergalactically poor."

[@thepezdispenser]

...and then the happening happened

[@bartholen]

"It's awful" Put that on the poster.

[@TheWolverineiscool]

well i liked it, i like the way shyamlyans movie builds up really interesting but sometimes ends pathetically but i enjoy the build up part and for that i have to give credit to him

[@lordtufty]

I actually liked it, Bryce Dallas was hot and the visuals were cool!

[@henman09]

The Happening was before Lady in the Water.

[@jayrockwell33]

i actually didn't know he cameo'd in this one, to be honest i thought his character worked rather well.

[@TheWolverineiscool]

yeah me too, the only problem people had with it was the ending, it wasnt as big as the story build it up to be but i enjoyed it anyway

[@newportcounty91]

how did M.Night go so far downhill? Signs is one of my favourite films of all time, could watch it over and over. But Ladyin the water and the happening? can't believe the same man directed them

[@BumpyHumpyDumpy]

M. Night Shitsandwich, dear god I can't wait for "The Visit" I can't even imagine how truly shitty it is.

[@Remus0387]

You know a film is bad when Mark Kermode, a man who's ego is as inflated as his hair says he's as humble as a mouse compared to the self aggrandizing hogwash of Lady in the Water.

[@MrBlackhibee]

Is it worse than The Village? That was pants.

[@borednow5838]

No the Village is pretty good actually. That was the last of his decent films I think. This is much worse than that.

[@captain07234]

@TheEvilelvis89 Actually if you watch the Happening knowing how comedically bad it is it is a very funny movie. The group of friends I saw it with knew how laughable it was and had the time of our lives.

[@theboyjazz]

@captain07234 true that... it's like The Room

[@JamesOhGoodie]

For serious, has Bryce Dallas Howard ever been in a GOOD movie? EVER?

[@alisaurus4224]

I liked her in The Help (where she ate shit pie) and she was actually quite effective as the mother in Rocketman. But at the time of your comment, the only good movies she’d been in were Apollo 13 (as an extra) and A Beautiful Mind (bit part).

[@Mankind081]

Yeah exactly. That's why the whole critic thing was getting back at Ebert for shitting on The Happening.

[@tubemoog]

You didn’t say it was “rubbish” Lol

[@jayrockwell33]

how 'big' should it have been though? i thought it all worked for what it was. then i went to se 'the last air bender' OH MY now THAT was horrific . .

[@mjeshaw]

@b88303 Cahiers du Cinema is about as useful as a source of film criticism as the Oscars are a guide to film quality. i.e. not always entirely unrelated but having no consistent relationship either way. Cahiers suffers from a particular problem which isn't unique to French culture, but is typical of it, explained in "Intellectual Impostures" by Sokal and Bricmont. It can be summed up as "Ah zat's all very well in practice, but will it work in theory?" or Godard's dire "Film Socialisme".

[@cadegarrettmusic]

I just wish Mark would get off the fence.

[@danthemango]

where are you getting these clips? on the website I can't find anything before 2011

[@ninfilms]

After The Village, I haven't seen his later work. I didn't like The Village I thought the ending is nonsense.

[@MrBlackhibee]

Yep, I was watching it with my wife and we both burst out laughing when she climbs over a wall to escape and a large 4x4 goes past. It summed up how daft the film really was.

[@timetochronicle]

I consider Lady in the Water to After Earth to be his "terrible" period. Kermode was harsh on The Visit, but I found the Visit was closer to the "old" Shyamalaan. Split was also okay. I think Shyamalaan can make his full comeback, if he learns from his mistakes

[@scrubttt2511]

@@timetochroniclesadly his comeback didn’t last for long

[@curlylaloo]

The Lady in the Water is the worst movie I've ever seen.

[@Optics2024]

One where Kermode gets it wrong. Look, I’m not saying it’s a classic or even his best film……. But it’s ok and this rant is way over the top and worse films don’t get this criticism.

[@jayrockwell33]

Just 'cause you don't like it doesn't mean it's not any good - and just 'cause you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't make sense.

[@mjeshaw]

Kermode lets Shamalamadingdong off pretty lightly considering the magnitude of the offence. "The Lady In the Water" is the most unbelievably arrogant, self-indulgent toss imaginable. The rest of the actors ought to feel ashamed for being involved and should've walked off the set . Some morons on IMDB compared it favourably to "Pan's Labyrinth" and praised its 'originality'' ! It's frightening when you consider that democracy allows such people to vote, (and sometimes even to become President).

[@chrishiggins7166]

The film’s poorly acted, poorly directed, poorly written, lifeless & an unfocused fantasy film that’s A disappointment from A terrific director. (20%) (1/5 stars) (negative)

[@TheRedcandles]

"It's AWFUL!" lol, yes it is

[@travisbest9041]

"...intergalactically poor"

[@Peadar2000]

Travis Best - Put that on the poster!