Baesic (a UK love song) - Sans Beanstalk

Turn 30. Settle down. Stop seeing your friends. Get an airfryer. Don't shut up about the airfryer. Watch BBC. Watch ITV. Listen to food podcasts. Get a Katsu Curry from Wagamamas.Marry a 'Dog mum'. Watch Harry Potter film marathons. Get a little chubby. Listen to Radio 1 on the drive to Center Parcs. Migrate to Radio 2 when Capaldi ages into it. Choose life.
There's a bit of basic in all of us, I am actually the proud owner of a Pizza Express Gold membership myself, and I occasionally treat myself to a trip to an Odeon Luxe when the going gets tough.
That said, never go full matching-Oodie's gogglebox enthusiasts. There are lines that shouldn't be crossed.
My mate Great skies made the beat, would recommend giving him a listen / / greatskies & @great_skies on IG
IG/Tiktok @sansbeanstalk

[@itsapixel5976]

who up beaning they stalk?

[@enderdrive]

sans beanstalk has lived 1000 lives but unfortunately all of them were in england

[@loosesurfer]

😂😂😂

[@V-O-V]

Could be worse, could have been French

[@loosesurfer]

@@V-O-V hilarious 😂

[@abeliciousmusic]

Best comment

[@Dan-eu6tn]

No better place to be son

[@stateofmind91]

The sheer benality of being a lower middle class 27-35 year old couple living in suburbia in this country really is a thing to behold.

[@studentaviator3756]

Join a cult

[@projectverna1937]

Banality?

[@stephendempsey]

​@projectverna1937 You know what they meant, but focused on the mistake.

[@mongoliandude]

@@stephendempsey Surely *beanality is the happy medium? 🫘

[@stateofmind91]

@@mongoliandude 😂👍

[@nbarrett100]

Do your friends still talk to you after seeing themselves in these videos?

[@pelagionyx]

Deano's slightly poorer neighbours on the newbuild estate.

[@johnmartinez7440]

Center Parcs sports café though. I feel very called out.

[@AI-Records24]

@@johnmartinez7440that’s when your in-laws are middle class asf and she’s got a good inheritance coming

[@sanfordcurtis8242]

The Baesic couple would be in shared ownership housing whereas Deano has a freehold

[@SBBUK]

I'm not sure, maybe slightly less financed

[@dannywhite132]

​@@johnmartinez7440 tbf if youre one of the people that goes to centreparcs just to sit in a bar and watch the TV you deserve to be called out

[@sanfordcurtis8242]

The Baesic couple are the sort who’d be in the audience of a Saturday night entertainment show on ITV

[@rorz999]

Clapping along out of time to Little Mix miming their new single at the end

[@sanfordcurtis8242]

@@rorz999 Or in the BGT audience shouting “OFF! OFF! OFF!” at a poor act, or hoping to be caught by the cameras before an audition starts saying something like “ooh, I’ve got a good feeling about this person!”

[@gsmith12]

Brilliant 😂

[@CDbiggen]

I always wonder where they find the audience for Saturday Night Takeaway

[@sanfordcurtis8242]

@@CDbiggen They go to houses which have B&M chic interiors and Live Laugh Love decor

[@ethanh493]

Babe wake up, Beanstalk's dropped one about you

[@andrewtucker94]

Future students of English literature are going to have to pore over these lyrics

[@socialistcynic]

lmaooo

[@Tee-h3c]

Brat Summer ❌ Baesic Autumn ✅

[@sanfordcurtis8242]

Pumpkin That

[@Kishgofu]

the way you perfectly communicate how dystopian and nightmarish this consumerist beige existence feels is astonishing.

[@marshallpreston88]

Not just me that feels it then ! It’s scary

[@PBarrettt]

Do one on UK gym culture

[@Lucky-tt2yq]

please. this Beano lad

[@Jonpoo1]

Just got a back from a package holiday in Spain and the euro weirdo blokes barely have any muscle tone. Strong Britain

[@kkndcf]

Great idea

[@ddvsgd9508]

​@@Jonpoo1They lack our gear culture 💪💉

[@Nathan-np9zg]

Could be the longest one yet

[@MillionAirL]

Slowly alienating myself from all my mates by sending them a link to the exact sanstalk video to spin them into an existential crisis.

[@profeseurchemical]

based

[@avancalledrupert5130]

It's a fun game isn't it.

[@alexanderg1935]

Yeah same. I never get a reply, not even a thumbs up. Then I send a cat meme and it's fuckle chuckle Tuesday.

[@oldershikari828]

I have about 10 friends who live this life..

[@tomkandy]

Sent this to the groupchat, one of the boys replied "ouch that called me out big time"

[@danielhughes4033]

An insight on our culture by Beanstalk is like he has drawn together a mass collective British post-nut clarity on Britishness

[@ivermektin6874]

Some of us saw it for what it was immediately.

[@m78991234]

this has opened my eyes, time to break up with the missus

[@r16117]

But who gets the air fryer?

[@chriswyatt9869]

Can I have her? My one signed up for love island

[@a.c.slater573]

Heard maya Jama’s single

[@paulroberts9834]

@@chriswyatt9869 Yeah but she might get sponsored by protein powder

[@mast3rchief536]

One good thing about going out with these types is they’re so predictable, you can literally read their minds and they think you’re keeper and a genius. Boring af to be with tho.

[@AlexanderSilver1996]

This is real working class music. This is actual social commentary. This is a time capsule of British culture for people ages 26 - 34 It feels a bit like art or poetry Consumerism, social expectation, mundanity, you’ve got it all

[@seanjones2524]

I'm 30 and it's amazing how many guys a similar age I know have gone from single to this in the space of 2 years. The fear of loneliness is all consuming.

[@stateofmind91]

Very true mate, I'm 32 and 90% of people I grew up with/went to school with live in this state of purgatory.

[@Deathhead68]

I bet a bunch of people who watched this can immediately think of at least 1 or 2 friends that live lives exactly like this. Tbf I cant blame them for falling into this monotony, lots of England is just shit copy paste towns like this.

[@sk3ll121]

I often fear when I grow older, I will become one of these videos. Definitely feel this song relates to a lot of friends parents and family members I remember seeing; just feel that living life like this is boring af

[@Energyflash1979]

I'm 45 and I'm seeing people on their 3rd go of this game

[@Sha-Ayo]

Oof​@@Energyflash1979

[@ferguspitcher7911]

Beanstalk once again perfectly articulating an aspect of modern Britain that fills me with dread

[@Yimello]

What's great is that every country has their own version of this, so you can never escape it.

[@fioredeutchmark]

It really is marvellous how well you capture the concept of _averageness_ as a a virtue of modern British culture. The masses are obsessed with appearing as incompetent as they can as any expression of excellence is to be treated with suspicion and contempt. I genuinely love your tunes.

[@rorz999]

It is remarkable how any expression of individuality, or aspirations outside of the status quo are treated with suspicion if not downright hostility by deanos and staceys

[@stephendempsey]

As if you're not also a part of 'the masses.' The powers that be want most people to be drones. People should resist that and carve out as much of a meaningful life as possible. It doesn't have to be the dull consumerist life depicted in this vid, nor does it have to be about 'excellence.' I'd rather be a 'failure' by the metrics of capitalism but a happy, fulfilled one, and that's in spite of capitalism.

[@fioredeutchmark]

@@stephendempsey I’m literally not. My maths tells me there are less than 0.000021% of the British population with my combination of Income, physical stature and education. Not that this matters to me but as an example of context; I’m replying to you from the VIP lounge in Heathrow as I’m just about to board a flight for NY where I’ll be working until Wednesday when I will then fly to Singapore and then on to KL. I will earn enough pounds sterling in the next 6 days (as I do every six days) that I will pay as much of it in tax as an average earner will pay in _one entire financial quarter._ So no I’m not part of the “masses’ a much as that would make you fell less insecure about my opinion. Meaning in life is derived from excellence, from excelling and being competent. I have a fulfilled life because I excel at my job, as a husband as a father and as a member of my wider community. If you think you can have a meaningful existence without any of that by all means have at it, unfortunately it’s more than likely you’re living in a delusion. Then again that’s exactly what the masses are. Thats precisely what this song is all about. Living in a delusion. Nihilist Materialists are all the same.

[@Liface]

Honestly as a yank these exact same people exist here too. The funny thing is they don't realize this is average. It just... is

[@andrewtucker94]

@@stephendempsey Excellent doesn't have to mean 'getting a promotion', I suppose it can be dedicating yourself to an art or hobby, learning loads about a subject, doing things that tangibly help people...

[@thesenate1844]

I show these videos to Americans who want to know what Britain is really like

[@Liface]

This one is actually the only archetype that consistently also exists all over America. Only thing different are the brands, other than that it's copy paste.

[@krob2327]

@@Lifacethey do have nicer houses in the USA. These ugly boxes are specific to uk

[@johnmartinez7440]

0:36 absolutely brilliant. Always wonder who those people texting into radio stations to play already popular top 40 songs are.

[@nightlordAL]

I've always believed the caller is a staff member and they're reading from a script, wouldn't want the drama of someone real phoning in and being difficult. The Entertainment industry is fake, just look at all the nonces in entertainment

[@BBoySnakeDogG]

When I used to listen to Radio 1, and Greg did the 15 minute takeover it would boil my wank when people would request stuff in the Radio 1 playlist, like arsehole they play those songs 20 times a fuckin day!

[@LegalizeTheNuclearBomb]

They're probably not even real

[@feidhlimidhmacanaltha3644]

Book ended by Temu ads. Why does the algorithm mock me?

[@eddyp483]

The algorithm sees content but not satire.

[@soupalex]

which one: "shopping like a billionaire", or "feels like magic / now i believe i can have it"?

[@feidhlimidhmacanaltha3644]

@soupalex both,banality is the spice of life.

[@robertsmyth3098]

This accurately captures the bleak meaningless consumerism of adult life in modern Britain.

[@skusami2548]

beanstalk is the only rapper with his finger on the pulse of true British culture

[@mongoliandude]

Every video makes me consider if British culture even has a pulse left 🪦

[@skusami2548]

@@mongoliandude I think it does but it’s a fucking slow pulse

[@skusami2548]

@@mongoliandude it might have a pulse but it’s a fukn slow one

[@skusami2548]

@@mongoliandudeif it does then it’s a slow one

[@Roachy215]

Beanstalk and his social commentary is destined to be the primary source for future historians looking back on 21st century England

[@acotscohotdog]

The bloke: Callum, Joe, Jack, Dan, Luke, Johnny The lass: Jade, Dani, Chloe, Lauren, Sophie, Emma The kid(s): Jack Jr, Alfie, Albie, Olivia, Isla, Ava The dog: Luna or Milo, literally just Luna or Milo

[@jonathalon6022]

Thanks for the bit of existential terror on a Sunday beanstalk

[@Deathhead68]

Its not too late to do something meaningful and enjoyable with your life

[@jonathalon6022]

​@@Deathhead68this comment made me leave my girl of 5 years cheers mate I needed it

[@tyson6127]

@@jonathalon6022 Hope you got the air fryer

[@jonathalon6022]

@@tyson6127no way I was leaving that behind, she can have the dog, never wanted the thing in the first place.

[@cyclocius]

Just got a house with my girlfriend, I'm 31. I wasn't ready to be called out like this.

[@lmackenzie9198]

How grey are your feature walls?

[@cyclocius]

@@lmackenzie9198 No feature walls, just green!

[@mongoliandude]

@@cyclociusWhat’s the flooring/carpet game saying?

[@andrewtucker94]

Honestly, some parts of this are quite nice. They spend time together at least and don't seem too stressed out

[@Magikalic]

debating whether it's worth the grief from mum if I send this to my brother and SIL.

[@TeleportUsToMars.]

Do it

[@lmackenzie9198]

Yes.

[@mongoliandude]

The UK will never recover from this.

[@thegrinderman1090]

Nah it'll be fine after an orange Lucozade and a few hours in bed catching up on 5ive Guys FC

[@ivermektin6874]

The UK won't recover for a lot of cultural crimes committed in the last 30 years. This is the least of it's worries. At least those interest only mortages keep the economy going.

[@mongoliandude]

@@ivermektin6874 I’d argue the economy is more deeply f***ed and Labour have just announced another austerity… because 15 years of austerity clearly worked wonders!

[@theanglosaxon]

thanks mate just split up with my missus of 11 years, she said shes keeping the ford focus ST and sausage dog called Brian

[@jrinredcar]

It's ok your next bird will have a pug or cockerpoo called Princess

[@richardlanger4067]

Always can think of someone I know with each song and have a laugh thank you

[@richardlanger4067]

You forgot to add the 1 holiday a year to the Canary Islands though nice one geez

[@CorporalFriendlyShark]

Beanstalk vids are a cheap form of therapy, really make you think about where your life went wrong

[@xxczerxx]

It also makes you wonder what kind of life would actually make you happy, if this song is one that takes the piss out of simple pleasures of a monotonous UK life

[@mrmeldrew693]

This is genuinely horrific because of how truthful it is.

[@jamesclark7827]

I never thought everything I hate about conventional British culture could be summed up in a song

[@jason.h]

Beanstalk never misses

[@OrdinaryThings]

another banger from beanstalk

[@mcanix]

Another banger from the master of understanding the UK. I've sent your vids to my Danish mates when they want to understand what goes on here

[@Energyflash1979]

UK culture causes much of my depression as I thought it was just my cynicism noticing all the corporate takeover. Thanks Sans keep them coming

[@callumlogan4874]

I dunno why but this video genuinely terrifies me. My brothers personality is this whole video.

[@griffin955]

The perfect amount of targeted hate against all of us. Worst part is, you can't pull yourself up and out of basic without being "bloke who is trying to pull himself up out of being basic but does it like every other bloke"

[@andrewtucker94]

deciding between booking opera tickets and watching Forest play Ipswich

[@Danny_SE11]

Too basic to think outside of the box so you get caught up in the same trends as other basic people

[@liamabeysekera267]

I used to wonder when Sans would drop a tune that completely ripped my life apart. I now realise that every tune has one or two lines that hit too near the bone.

[@letskillmusic1]

You could spend thousands on a cultural studies uni course but you'd learn more about the country from Beanstalk videos

[@ish58]

Beanstalk definitely has a sociology degree because he's too accurate with this 😂

[@ap5194]

Social media has warped the human mind beyond recognition

[@hurdygurdy2120]

Clone houses, clone high streets, clone retail parks and clone people. The scary part is that try as you might, circumstances just force you into this lifestyle. It's the path of least resistance. It's all that many of us can actually afford.

[@christopher9727]

Jesus Christ is the only hope in this world no other gods will lead you to heaven There is no security or hope with out Jesus Christ in this world come and repent of all sins today Today is the day of salvation come to the loving savior Today repent and do not go to hell Come to Jesus Christ today Jesus Christ is only way to heaven Repent and follow him today seek his heart Jesus Christ can fill the emptiness he can fill the void Heaven and hell is real cone to the loving savior today Today is the day of salvation tomorrow might be to late come to the loving savior today Holy Spirit Can give you peace guidance and purpose and the Lord will John 3:16-21 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. Mark 1.15 15 And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. Hebrews 11:6 6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Jesus

[@Lungoose]

Satan is our true hope in this world

[@benday1218]

I'm so depressed now, genius.

[@BillyShears1]

Quite incredible that millions of human beings have lives exactly like this and think absolutely nothing is wrong with it/society. We really need to wake up.

[@Alphapigeon8881]

While all sans beanstalk songs have an air of listless dissatisfaction and absurdity with modern UK life, this was the first one it felt real depressing. Like damn, you can almost feel him looking around and asking "is this it, is this really the life we want to live?!?! Foking hell..."

[@TheDandelionMind]

I want to give an extra appreciation for 0:13 where he says "いつもの? (Itsumono)" actually mean "The usual?" In Japanese.

[@fearisthemindkiller387]

All that was missing is the _blowing out someone’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter_ insta posts. *Women walking down a beach* “hard times, but diamonds are made under pressure❤” after a bad breakup.

[@user-jv9tg2ef5f]

This perfectly describes the very modern breed of comfortable people who have no interests beyond entertainment and consumption.

[@GayFrogsTho]

Thanks Beanstalk for reminding me why I left the UK

[@Sha-Ayo]

Where did you go?

[@garyblinston193]

I’m the same, in the process of moving to Brazil, obvs not without its own problems and issues but a much happier and less materialistic way of life.

[@GayFrogsTho]

@Sha-Ayo I went all over! I work on superyachts, so I get to see the world. I'm in Indonesia right now. Next stop, South Africa.

[@Chris-v6b1n]

​@garyblinston193 LOL now that's funny. How much experience do you have of Brazil?

[@Thetravelsurvivalist]

@@GayFrogsTho how did you get into super yachts?

[@lmackenzie9198]

[Video may cause existentialism]

[@OneHalfHetch]

The bars about the heart, business parks and unmasking is fucking high level poetry.

[@Edescho]

The symbolism of the air fryer and reverence to North Korea's 'Dear Leader' is a masterclass in satire.

[@noa2613]

This is also pretty universal. Just swap the names of the shops/celebrities/TV shows, and this can work for almost every country. Don't live in the UK, or even close to it, but this fits so many people I know.

[@matthewadams4097]

You have a gift of capturing the essence of UK life in it's purest form. Another 10/10

[@profeseurchemical]

the only thing seperating me from this is my taste in clothes, furnishings and media. but the food etc shopping got me good haha

[@enderhoplite8048]

man never misses but I might break up with my missus after this, prefer ITV radio one over HEART

[@Depep4729]

Don’t you dare knock two for Tuesday

[@johnmartinez7440]

I feel like every single takeaway pizza chain essentially does that every single day now. "50% off when you spend £30", but their pizzas are so expensive that you're probably always going to reach that threshold. Failing that, there's just an enormous amount of rewards programs, Meerkat meals, Tastecard etc that offer these 24/7.

[@Deathhead68]

Mate I mean this in the kindest possible way but I think you're missing out in life

[@Depep4729]

@@Deathhead68 😂

[@Jeddersfield]

A very astute encapsulation of the British Normie. Good job

[@roderickallan7760]

big ups from rural queensland, australia

[@Flippinloon]

When I see the 'Home is where the heart is' shite I instantly think of you beanstalk 🤣

[@hansmueller1831]

Love those CHOONS m8 cheers

[@Errearrea14]

IMO if it wasnt for cost of living the divorce rate in this country would be higher than deano in the all bar one toilets after spending his commission check from his recruitment job

[@davidjewood]

Another master class from Beanstalk

[@BlockedUser420]

Absolute fire. Thank you Beanstalk, very cool.

[@rickwatts7998]

the picture of the air fryer on the wall at 1:40 lol

[@LellowYorry]

Beat going absolutely nuts

[@ljafrain]

Beanstalk never fucking misses

[@SENEX12]

He forgot Costa Coffee - The aspirational council accessory. Consumed by those who probably have positivity messages scribed on their walls.

[@muz4704]

One of the few KZbinrs than I instantly click when they upload - never misses 😂

[@MCC_EQEQ]

When I was in my teens and twenties, I despised this type of culture; thought I was above it all. But the thing is, the older I've gotten, the happier I am to just let people live in peace. If somebody has this type of life and it's filled with love for the people around them and the things that they do everyday, who on earth am I to judge? Also: Love These CHOONS Sans mate

[@xxczerxx]

Eh. As long as you have a few mates and a partner that loves you I could be on the moon and wouldn't really care. Life is just full of tiny pleasures. This kind of song is interesting because although it is meant to be funny, it does make you wonder -- what exact life is it where you're actually happy and it isn't depressing when you start boiling it down to its mundane minutiae ?

[@MCC_EQEQ]

@@xxczerxx but I think with the tight people, even the mundane can be happy. We're social beings. We want to be loved and belong. If those needs are genuinely met, and you're not hurting anyone else, I think for a lot of us that can be enough? And if it's not enough, that's okay too! We need explorers, and inventors, and authors, and musicians, and so on and so on. But it's okay to just want something small and loving and mundane. That's okay.

[@MCC_EQEQ]

@@xxczerxx it's the philosophy hour down here on the Sans Beanstalk music channel 😎

[@joe.h4447]

absolutely horrifying that this might be in store for the majority of us. the only remedy is to stay weird, do not choose this comfortable existence. renton ain't ever been more relevant

[@donglegs]

Really? These people may as well be aliens to me

[@thrownstair]

Every American should be forced to watch this before they make another joke about English people so their insults can cut deeper.

[@sinicalbob4585]

Every video is made with pinpoint accuracy 👌

[@bingefeller]

fantastic, so accurate and succinct.

[@theartistformerlyknownassh9534]

The booter bee of the UK beige, real shit

[@robadams12]

The beat on this one is incredible

[@pureaquafina4732]

it’s the only thing keeping us together 😂😂

[@unifiedmongoose7915]

Old el paso line got me rofl xoxo omg my thats my laugh done for the day now just need to live and love

[@RyanJonYouTube]

will have this on loop for two weeks

[@Comonad]

Keep old El Paso’s name out of your mouth. Sugary fajitas is the last joy I have

[@143jcm]

Wish i was one of these people, they seem much happier.

[@tomkandy]

People with lobotomies are probably happy too.

[@rishei4748]

I predict this video will go viral

[@scarletnight1077]

Sometimes i wish i could be content in banality like this. I think because ive always been weird i crave the normalcy a life like this would provide but id probably go insane quickly

[@thegooglearchipelago8253]

Dominos Texas BBQ does make it bearable

[@scarletnight1077]

@@thegooglearchipelago8253 REAL

[@mrky1261]

big up sans with the bangers everytime

[@LimeFoot]

What a tune, your mastering is getting dangerously good!

[@books4739]

This is not music, this is a distress signal.

[@Macarite]

Sooo unnecessarily hard, instumental is sick, and lyrics are poifecctttt, the heart motif bit was clever nice wun laaaad

[@aslan777100]

beanstalk the flow gets better and better

[@realkingofantarctica]

There needs to be a statistic to determine how many first dates have taken place in a Nando's.

[@acotscohotdog]

Asking the guy at the till to put an extra hot flag in my mild chicken so she thinks I'm hard

[@yehldyehld]

I love the amount of rhymes in a row you put in lol.

[@MrAfghanjones]

The man just does not miss.

[@TheSmizen]

Trainspotting poster at the end is like an apology for the whole song. lmao “Look, it’s a bit shit, but this life is better than the alternative.”

[@suitcase_carwash]

Not really an apology is it. More highlighting that these observations about modern/contemporary life arent new Choose life Choose wagas Choose waited blankets Choose air fryers

[@xxczerxx]

Distilling life into this, and as a breezy-yet-miserable little ditty, feels way more nihilistic than any metal song. You can change it slightly and I'm sure it fits the lives of most people.

[@dr_dolt]

He never legends, the absolute misses!

[@itsdan722]

The amount of people I know like this. I mean, fair play to them but god does it seem so dull

[@BlindnessandInsight]

the general direction my entire friend group has trended as we approach thirty, made some really uncomfortable listening, thank u xxx

[@declanthomas7159]

Some of your finest work this, the stops in the tune for the punchlines is excuted perfectly

[@josephwicking]

Another banger, have to rewatch to catch all the visuals jokes. Fantastic stuff