Balatro - Illegal Poker

[@toasterdotpng]

We have lost zach. so sad. Hes not dead, just trapped in the Balatro Dimension

[@hawkevery]

At least until long dark 2 comes out which at the very least is 2026

[@Don69420]

@@hawkevery that game is cool, The devs are money hungry losers though

[@Zach_Hazard]

Nah, I escaped the Balatro Dimension. My ADHD was too powerful and I got bored. Even the Vampire Survivor dimension could only contain me for a week.

[@toasterdotpng]

@Zach_Hazard yaknow what. fair enough. just gotta wait for the ADHD backlash that'll get you anywhere from two weeks to 5 years from now

[@SollowP]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="600">10:00</a> Another thing about the genetically modified fruit we have today: modern fruit has so much sugar in them that zoo animals have gotten overweight because of that. Here's also another daily banana fact: that 'banana flavor' that banana candies are supposed to have that doesn't actually taste anything like a banana? It's based on the Gos Michel and not the Cavendish (which is the banana we all eat today) That's the reason banana candies never actually taste like bananas. The developer of the game have been approached with numerous poker/gambling companies about making a licensed Balatro poker game. But the dev have shot them all down, so much in fact that he PUT IT IN HIS WILL that Balatro will never be made into an actual gambling game.

[@OrificeHorus]

Based dev

[@faroffshores2216]

What a guy. Balatro: get your gambling fix without actually losing any money.

[@laurencefraser]

And Pegi rated it 18 for gambling anyway... while rating the barely disguised slotmachines that try to claim they're sports games as E for everyone (or whatever the equivalent ratings are). Because that's what happens when you give the biggest players in the industry control over the ratings boards.

[@OrificeHorus]

Ah, my latest addiction Gambling without the gambling

[@emiliomenendez1406]

How fortuitous. I just started playing Balatro 2 days ago. In unrelated news. I have 17 hours in it.

[@vruxdrossgaming]

I love Balatro. It's such a great game. I'm happy you two are playing it.

[@changvasejarik62]

You have enough companions, maybe you should make a Zach and mike themed deck. Be a fun add on to your caravan mod.

[@Onio_Saiyan]

YuGiOh and MTG. Love them both. I play a Dark Magician deck and a Blue/Green Aesi Tyrant of Gyre Straits ramp commander deck. If you don’t end me early on, I’m flooding you and moving a continent over your side of the board.

[@jaytrashwade1-1]

Now I'm remembering there's a Warhammer 40k deck for Magic The Gathering. Which I don't know how that would play since I don't do Magic The Gathering. But I do play Warhammer 40k, very poorly though. I still need a Space Marines codex

[@Onio_Saiyan]

@ I have Astra Militarum and Aeldar. I’ve also got some Stormcast Eternals. Buddy plays Slaanesh almost exclusively so it’s fun to play both rulesets.

[@jaytrashwade1-1]

@@Onio_Saiyan I chose Space Marines because I'm a beginner and Space Marines felt a lot more cost effective. I also had a Necrons army but lost it.... I might consider rebuilding my Necrons army or getting Tau.... But I don't even have enough of a Space Marines army for Combat Patrol atm

[@Errickfoxy27]

As for the card you rip up to win, Zach might be thinking of the un-card, "Chaos Confetti", which you can tear into little pieces, and it destroys anything it lands on, which was a reference to Chaos Orb, a card you had to flip in the air, and it would destroy what it lands on. That got banned not for being powerful, but for not being accessible to people with disabilities and stuff.

[@ZacheryClouse]

Hey Zach as a fellow black deck user for MTG I highly recommend you look into making yourself a zombie deck if made right anything that can't clear or control your graveyard will loose to you in the long game

[@saltire_2825]

Rat decks are also incredibly fun, because certain cards make them buff each other to the moon.

[@ketsuekikumori9145]

The Gros Michel banana is not extinct. It nearly did so, due to a fungal plague (I believe it's fungal). It was replaced by the Cavendish banana since its resistant. However, because banana plantations tend to be monocultural (i.e. consisting of one variety of plant, usually one cultivar too), it increases the likelyhood of disease spreading. So the Cavendish isn't that much better off when, not if, another disease hits those plantations.

[@tadferd4340]

Panama disease is fungal. It has also jumped to Cavendish, so those are threatened now. Fortunately, the GMO banana that's immune to Panama disease has finally been approved in some places, despite being available for a decade.

[@laurencefraser]

If I remember rightly the Gros Michel Almost went extinct, but a small number were growing in some part of the world the plague never actually got to. Did a real number on the banana industry for a while there.

[@nicholash.7656]

I love Balatro. I only have 2.5 decks to finish the highest stake: im still learning new things about the game and interactions between cards and jokers. Really neat.

[@ДжексонДиринг]

Would you guys possibly be interested in playing barotrauma

[@ricepresident2990]

Hell yea

[@The_OneTrueBob]

Zach, there already are cards that care about/pull from exile. And the super duper potty probably already exists.

[@tytothetoetaker9788]

DAMMIT I LOVE MTG now I got to find every piece of content you ramble on about it in. Can never have too many artifacts. if you need creatures they can be artifacts too.

[@dude10067]

Great to see the boys playing Divorced Lance Corporal Simulator

[@_Salok]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="558">9:18</a> I'm sure nobody asked, but "Gros Michel" (s is silent) just translates to "Fat Michael"

[@Errickfoxy27]

I just bought this myself, and I find it a very hard game to put down once I've got going. One more hand, one more blind, hit one more shop.. can't stop won't stop

[@ketsuekikumori9145]

I'm genuinely surprised Zach hasn't played this game til now. This seem like it would be right up his alley, and not just because of his adhd (though it helps? or maybe hinders depending on how bad it is)

[@ketsuekikumori9145]

I don't think they use the seeds in "seedless" watermelons, as they should be non-viable or otherwise trying to keep the same cultivar. Most "seedless" fruits have seeds, but are usually so small as to be non-viable. A good example of this is the little black specks you see in bananas. With watermelons, the white seeds aren't viable, while the black seeds might be. But the thing with plants is that they like to mix up their dna for the purposes of reproduction, so it might not even be a good tasting watermelon. For either case, we use a cloning technique called cuttings. We do this to propagate seedless plants or otherwise keep the same cultivar. We do this with apples, citrus, etc. too despite the viable seeds as the child plant can be wildly different from their parental plants. We cut off a young branch from the donor plant, while cutting open the bark of a recipient plant to reach the xylem/phloem. Then we graft it, i.e. attach and tape up the branch onto the recipient's opening til the recipient takes the new branch. The recipient only provides nutrients to the donor branch, so the branch never changes the dna it has. Hence why we can clone these plants. There is another benefit to cuttings and it's that we can produce fruits much quicker as you don't have to grow a whole tree. In fact, most orchard plants (apples, cherry, citrus, etc.) take years to grow from seed, while a cutting only has to develop itself, massively reducing the time span.

[@laurencefraser]

To the best of my knowledge, there are no MTG cards that can just go pull whatever out of exile. There are quite a few that temporarily put things into exile and then bring them back, or put X cards into exile, you can play Those cards from exile this turn, any you don't play are just stuck in exile never to be seen again (that game), etc. Basically, each card that does something with cards in exile creates its own exile 'bubble' to operate in, unlike the graveyard where they're all sharing a common space.

[@Colesonian]

Now I just wanna play Zach in MTGA

[@Zach_Hazard]

I'd lose.

[@friththecrow975]

Gros Michel is a type of banana that kills Graboids

[@chrisyoung1576]

yes, money spent on time crisis and pump it up is worth it

[@chrisyoung1576]

ah yes, solitaire the gathering

[@Kuria_zhaints]

Let's go Gambling 🎉

[@whatsupinthisau2430]

💥 Aw Dangit! 💥 Aw Dangit! 💥 Aw Dangit!

[@Palakarava]

NOPE!

[@itsjustmeerkat1485]

Hey been awhile since i been this early, ima take advantage of it, what do you guys think about doing some of the long dark again with its story being finished soon or maybe showing off your runs with all the cool new stuff from tales, any thoughts on the new long dark game coming out in 2026?

[@chilidude5522]

Another soul collected by jimbo :)

[@wonderfulnightmares9143]

NEW VID NEW GAME

[@MatthewMchargue]

If Mike is going to pull a Christmas episode out of his ass, he should probably stand up! Jk love you guys, merry Christmas and a happy new year!

[@Arccharger448]

Oh god, say goodbye to your free time LOL, I've spent 240 hours in this game 😭

[@dmdeign7116]

Holy crap, i want to try it but I'm afraid that'll happen to me too lmao

[@CaptDarkStar215]

Hanging Chad! oh that takes me back… only in Florida am I right!?

[@cartho1103]

Oh hey i got got Balatro yesterday just in time

[@Petrico94]

Don't play MtG online unless you're ready to WIN. Ya it costs money to get to what you want, at least that's how Arena was, but there aren't really open rooms to play casual games just Standard play to win, Pioneer with more stuff available, and Modern pistols at dawn

[@Zach_Hazard]

That's disappointing.

[@waywardwriterryu7185]

was this video recorded before or after the 1.1 giant bug fix update for Stalker 2?

[@Zach_Hazard]

It was recorded afterwords.

[@freedawords3863]

Zack has complicated feelings on Stalker 2

[@KGKSkull]

Balatro, it’s better than wukong, because the community wasn’t toxic

[@glory-7825]

I love Balto! I mean Balatro!

[@caelumcadere6356]

As a yugioh player, your description was unfortunately accurate

[@risinghonor7]

Zach they do have cards that u play cards outta exile

[@JollyBonesTheSkeleton]

Some countries (the UK apparently is one) changed the rating to 18+ because of the "gambling" in the game, meanwhile actual gambling games receive a lower rating... Make it make sense

[@laurencefraser]

If I remember rightly, the Pegi rating system is industry controlled, same as the US rating system... that is to say, representatives of western AAA publishers dictate the ratings. That's absolutely the case in the USA at least, my understanding is that it's similar enough in Europe. The alternative is that most people involved in the decisionmaking are either very ignorant (and easy for the big industry players to influence by way of being the only ones who actually talk to them on the subject) or corrupt (which is entirely possible, but not as likely). Meanwhile, quite a number of countries whether there is a censorship department that's just part of the government, tend to be fairer when rating media. Usually. Mind you, the rules range from entirely reasonable to oppressive nonsense, depending on the country in question, but the rules are generally Applied far more fairly (generally either you can't really bribe the relevant officials or Everyone needs to bribe the relevant officials, depending on the place in question).

[@undead_g0at]

I had a legitimately pretty good black green deck but someone stole it which pissed me off

[@tannerholdge2646]

Billions must mult

[@ethancampbell5548]

Zach uses Damnation and not Wrath of God. Good to know.

[@Zach_Hazard]

Only because I like the art better lol

[@madnessiscool]

0/10 I can't figure out how to summon Dark Magician.

[@Petrico94]

If we're throwing out tcg, I haven't played in a long time, Yugioh annoys me, Pokemon has major powercreep, MTG has powercreep and gave up on most recent games and Magic Arena. I do have physical copies of a Ravnica Aristocrats deck I loved using featuring Judith Scourge Diva. I love the idea of TCG games but whenever the meta is about breaking it or winning by turn 2 rather than continuous set up that really kicks off on turn 3, I feel like it's not fun anymore. Maybe I'm just more midrange minded.

[@VooshSpokesman]

Love from a Bricky and Vaush fan!

[@Petrico94]

I'm not much for rogue-likes and random games that you just bash your head into. However the game does look rather low stakes compared to other gambling sims and lootboxes and the jokers make each run more exciting, it's a good game and I don't mind people loving how easy it is to start a new run or strategically rearrange the deck you draw from. Game of the Year? idk I liked Wukong, maybe people are just less interested in the affairs of AAA games and a pleasant indie takes the spotlight or Astroboy

[@darthvaderbutwayshittier7054]

You can tell how much Zach doesn't want to play this game.

[@Zach_Hazard]

I did warm up to it eventually. I've even played it on my own.

[@Stan_man]

I don't understand the hype of this game. Its just poker.

[@drink__more__water]

I haven't played stalker two, but I've heard the second 'act' is better. What does that mean? Hell if I know.

[@silentassason]

I wish I could play it. They shattered my dreams by letting me play the old games on PS only for them to decide not to release 2 on PS 😢

[@reeeeedmil]

the game is great, only the intro is kind of lackluster - however, i suggest waiting for a few more patches before giving it a try