Are You the Husband Allah Describes? - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan

This Khutbah was recorded on October 14th, 2016 in the Bayyinah Musalla.
Muslims must meet two sets of responsibilities, says Nouman Ali Khan: responsibilities towards Allah and towards people. While our obligations to Allah are clear and simple, with the only possibility of wrong-doing falling on us, human relationships are much more complicated. But the two are not separate from each other; if you fail in your responsibilities towards people, then you have also failed before Allah. Marital relationships are a case in point. Allah perfectly sums up the husband-wife connection in the first part of Aya 34 of Surat An-Nisaa: “Arrijaal qawwamuna ‘ala an-nisaa." Despite popular misconception, the word “qawwamuna” has nothing to do with authority, says Khan. Its core meaning combines the notions of activity, commitment, consistency, reliability and conferring value. Physical, emotional and spiritual abuse in the form of “religious blackmail” are not tolerated in Islam. On the contrary, husbands have a responsibility to actively maintain relationships, protect their spouses (even against their own parents, with respect) and to be the mentors and advisers who will help them fulfill their goals.

[@wayneschoeman4216]

I am not Muslim though everything you have said hit home for me and gave me a new perspective -Thank you - if ur ever in South Africa I'd love to see you talk

[@thesyndicate3859]

Oh that is really nice. He is one of the best speakers I listen to. He talks about things simply and not complex. If you want another speaker, his name is Mufti Menk. He does come to South Africa.

[@S_1.618]

May ALLAH guide you to the islam 🤲

[@hameshabahar2344]

May Allah bless you dear 😊🤲🏼

[@kashifaarahams3787]

Mufti mink and Nouman Ali khan are the 2 top guys.

[@ayeshaahmad9506]

And imam Omar Suleiman

[@edwardcollins8270]

I will try my best to treat my wife better than her dad. i never thought about it like that. i will.

[@mishaali5626]

obviously

[@BR-KK]

Edward Collins The reality for many Muslim women: “I will try my best to beat my wife(s) better than her dad.”

[@mishaali5626]

B R Exactly.. its a scared thing that i have face

[@BR-KK]

Misha Khuram I am sorry to hear that.

[@taiwoaminu9882]

@@BR-KK why you wanna do this?

[@sarahexample2141]

To all the women.. may Allah give us Sabr.

[@Peachybird24]

Sara ali aamin

[@AA-bo2qn]

If the husband is oppressive, we are not to sit quietly, tell him, get advice, talk to Muslim scholar, and get him to educate himself.

[@mevrouwpinda4592]

In sha Allah . Amin

[@momwomeninbusiness2670]

Amine! We’ve got this

[@Vicky_94]

Ameen

[@lailaob907]

I am happy and thankful to my Allah as he has gifted me with a husband who is just like this. Supports me with everything. Helps me while cooking or washing dishes , even washing cloths, he is half of me and yes i am Asian 😁. There are very very good husbands in this world. Alhamdullah 🥰 May Allah gives us hidaya to be good husbands or wives .

[@aceo_o2295]

Masha Allah good for you

[@malihahassanrana6331]

MashaAllah may Allah SWT increase the love and respect between the two of you and bless you marraige all the way, Allahumma ameen

[@lawlietlawliet]

Masha Allah.. may Allah grant me one as well 💔💔 ameen

[@lailaob907]

@@lawlietlawliet inshallah sister he will 🥰

[@ajpeng7992]

Alhamdullilah! I hope every Muslim husband would have the fear of Allah.

[@mahadshah3858]

Thumbs up for every single man who is seeing this video for learning and self improvement. I can give guarantee that by making up your mind for being the husband that Allah describes, you are almost there because Qawwam is told in Quran as it is nature of men. I think the only reasons for abuse these days are addictions and lack of knowledge. So you will not have trouble if you are trying to learn islam and have kicked any addictions you had. Believe me. Sorry for bad English .

[@everythinginshorts5300]

I'm here ❤

[@mosesainsz7002]

brothers, one big problem is that we have to drop our egos and masculinity and become more vulnerable. This is because to show love, you have to receive it, and we can receive it fully if we don't let it in. You have to open up, let her love fully come in, and then return it. You think you're giving the love back but you're only giving back what you let in. It takes strength, but we have to do it.

[@KnowledgeBoutique]

Moses ainsz These things you mention do not require a man to reduce his masculinity, in fact one can argue that these are indeed qualities of absolute masculinity.

[@cpking6593]

brother you used the word masculinity... you said right. The masculinity isn't to suppress, it is there to protect.

[@dallyh.2960]

Yes brothers. And sometimes we have to understand that sometimes he wants to be the bottom, and you can't hog the position no matter how tiring you find toping.

[@cpking6593]

Dally H. I somehow like your concept. I want you to elaborate it a bit more...

[@dallyh.2960]

@@cpking6593 Well brother it is really simple. Sometimes in a relationship we can hog the submissive role, but he doesn't speak up because he doesn't want to be rude or to put you in a position you don't want because he loves you. So sometimes we need to understand that about our man, and to offer ourselves to him to do more of the pushing when he doesn't speak up. It all comes down to honoring your partner, and wanting to please them through knowing what they need in a relationship that they don't like asking for. I'm sure your familiar with the situation, it's pretty common in our community.

[@Babka113]

"Iblees makes us forget our responsibilities and he makes us think all the time about our rights.... These two things are independent of each other."

[@maryambintboloca2100]

We do have to think about both though...that's why Allah made them both very clear to us

[@HAN_S0l0]

LMAO. A true example of how women will change everything to fit their point. The poster agrees with the rest of it because it aligns with their belief but wants to argue against something they don't like because they believe that men are inherently evil so devil has nothing to do with making them forget their responsibility. When we know that if there was no Shaytaan, there would be no evil because Shaytaan is who sways people. But go ahead and change the religion itself because it goes against your feminist idea of "Evil men".

[@mahadshah3858]

@@HAN_S0l0 what you say is 100% correct and accurate, but you can mention this thing in more of a decent way.

[@Karinrinkashi]

@@mahadshah3858 Can you pin point exactly what was indecent in my reply? I did not use any slangs or curse words, I did not name call, or degrade. I did however point the basic issue of this Man vs Woman rivalry that is now taking a political turn even in Islam. And the biggest factor behind it is the feminist idea that men are inherently evil. Which goes against all basic Islamic teachings that men or women are not inherently evil. Shaytaan is the one who motivates them do bad deeds. But some women want to challenge that notion. And based on what proof? Their own misgivings about all men which are based on actions of some bad men who definitely exploited women and religion, and used their powers for all the wrong reasons. But that does not mean we have to let this kind of thinking go unchecked. If do not speak firmly against this feminist idea that has ripped our families apart then we will be responsible for all destroyed families in the future. A marriage is destined to fail if the woman who has married this man, already thinks that the man is inherently evil, when it is totally possible that he is not. There are evil people in society, there are men AND women who do horrendous things, there are MORE men who do evil things than women. But even those can be successfully defended against the tag of "born evil" when you discuss the matter in the perspective of childhood circumstances, socio-economic class, emotional trauma, and additiction history (which is usually a result of one of the above or many other factors in the first place). FBI has already tried to implement this pointless and judgemental ideology in the 70s when the cases of serial killers who would specifically target women started to rise significantly. They tried to argue that these people, and people like them, they are born evil. So there should be no trial for them nor should they be negotiated with unless it is a hostage situation. But then a few people got together to change that idea from amongst the FBI itselt and took onboard a psychologist with the name of Dr. Ann Wolbert. They all believe that the serial killers that society sees as just "born evil" have other issues going on. A child is born a child and something turns him into one or the other kind of human. Long story short, they went and interviewed some of the most famous serial killers of the time who were caught and prisoned, including Ed Kemper (who would kill women, behead them, and bury their heads in the yard, with their faces looking up at his mother's room window. He told this team of FBI that his mom used to abuse him so he started giving her gifts.). In the end, almost all of them had a childhood trauma or mistreatment by one of their female relatives (especially mothers) which then ended up turning them against women. Using this FBI was able to create a psychological profile (sort of a detection system based on person's experiences) to keep a track of high risk people. The point is, there is enough scientific evidence that nobody is inherently evil and turns bad "just because". Otherwise there is no need for day of judgement. Just burn everybody in hell and be done with it. And plus, that wouldn't be fair because nobody will really have any other choice but to be evil. And then they have to burn for something they can't control from the start? This idea is a plague and it needs to be squashed with the utmost urgency and the most strict tone!

[@SeifJislam]

Alhamdulillah, i realize how much i do wrong to my wife. Alhamdulillah for this video. Thank you Sir Nouman, always the best from you, if i never got the chance to meet you and thank you personally for this Khutbah, i pray i can meet you in Jannah, in sha Allah.

[@Mumsiken]

The spiritual abuse hits close to home . I want to raise boys who are best husbands .

[@kurioushan7032]

That's nice.Wish you all the best..amiin ☺

[@kuwaalo9616]

why raise them like men? they are children for god sake let them be kids. BUT raise them with good morals and attributes (:

[@noname-cc4ox]

Mashallah very important lecture. But two things must be addressed here: 1) NAK being a public figure should explain what he learnt from his own divorce and how can we benefit from his experience of divorce. 2) Whatever he is saying sounds good but how can I confidently implement it in my life after knowing that his own marriage resulted in failure after 6 kids.

[@LightMeUp04]

no name where did you hear this? He has 7 kids btw

[@nishan1603]

no name what in the world????Where do people get these assumptions?

[@Yous0147]

I pray to be a man described the way Allah described us men to be. Thank you for another outstanding lecture, sincerely!

[@raya4721]

Yous0147 ameen brother

[@zalishaabdool7030]

We Come..."ALIVE HERE!! FULLY ALIVE!!"

[@abdullahhaq7141]

All the best brother, we can only duly pray to Allah and seek his guidance to keep us on the righteous path... Let's improve alongside Allah.

[@doyoureadme94]

I am another non-religious viewer, who often seeks out these talks whenever I find myself conflicted with questions. I really needed this message today.

[@ashhadkalam8995]

Dont you think solution to problem of mankind is only through the scripture of God?

[@shesnour]

Congrats on having a heart that recognizes the truth .. May allah guide us all 🤍

[@JadedbutnotJarred]

Subhanallah, the mentioning of when the prophet s.a.w said, " Do not hit the female slaves of Allah.'' This made me contemplate those who even have done this crime, it is not just a crime against the woman, it is a crime against Allah s.w.t, the most great. May Allah guide these people and us and may Allah forgive them and Forgive us. Jazak'Allah Kheiran for a well thought-out and very tactfully delivered khutbah about such important issues.

[@zahidanoor1943]

I wish my daughter would marry in future a pious well mannered man.ameen

[@hafsatramon8678]

In sha Allah and my daughter too

[@amerahleyson5428]

ameen

[@saeeduddin1178]

Insha allah

[@tiesties536]

ameen inshallah also for me❤🙏

[@ericwarren6641]

Zahida Noor amern

[@jrplayground1145]

Sorry for men who are not satisfied with this lecture. It just means u hv no respect for your mother. Sorry for mothers who are not satisfied with this lecture, it just means u juz don’t want to believe that your son is Allah’s. And I’m sorry u probably was not treated right by ur husband. Marriage means that a man accepted a lot and a lot of responsibilities. But many men wanted to jump into it asap for avoiding zina lol. I said the same thing to my husband before we got married. Qawwam has nothing to do authority over me. Juz know this, if u give me constant love and protection, i will give my loyalty to our lovely marriage. Alhamdulillah he is the best man i have ever met. He is not perfect but he learn through his flaws and tries his best to fullfill his responsibilities. I love him. For years, now and insyallah forever. We are partners in Islam. Ws

[@aasi0814]

Masha Allah!!!! May Allah keep both of us blessed together!!!

[@multazimhashmi2709]

mashallah allah nazaer se bachye aap dono ku.

[@JahannamHellfire]

My husband is Muslim and he destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wife and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you.

[@Kireniimran]

lucky you!

[@mich1904]

Dont be a secret wife!!! ur makin it sound like its a muslim thing. its not. if that really did happen to u. then im sorry that u met a horrible man. he will go to hell if he committed such things as u described. but it just sounds like u have personal issues, and are trying to force them onto others. like a girl that dated or married a bad man and then thinks all men all trash. which is ignorance. same applies when it’s reversed.

[@relaxingoasis9945]

I will treat my wife like the queen for the sake of ALLAH

[@jina4416]

zain mouhammad I hope she treats you like a king in return. Ameen

[@improwise2171]

May Allah bless you both!

[@Milo-uv1is]

Say Insha Allah please… 😂

[@amber.aakhtar6988]

It’s a dua so I’ll say ameen suma ameen

[@almedinarogo9000]

This man is a blessing not only for muslims but to the mankind as well.

[@ianmenere2143]

As a new revert to Islam and lack of connection to be a good Muslim,I have failed the women in my life . Thankyou for making this available Allhumdulila I am more aware if my responsibility as a man .I pray I continue to put my efforts to learn more ... Inshallah

[@ianmenere2143]

My wife is the one who introduced me to Islam ....Alumdulila

[@shabanasiraj1566]

Hope my sons be blessed with the teachings of Islam

[@arianeozalp]

I would love a version "Are You the Wife Allah Describes? '' :D

[@anarhaciyev5509]

Ariane Siqueira inshaAllah you will be such a wife by protecting yourself from evil by wearing hijab that will make you remain so beautiful not only in your youth but also in your old ages and but also after death.

[@ttrdf]

I think he said he is going to make a lecture about it next. we always have to please remember to observe wisdom and good advice to people when you're actually trying to advice people.

[@theturtleyo]

Kate Middleton widow women are allowed to remarry in islam.

[@sumeyasomaya3047]

Anar Haciyev masallah very nice and wisley choose words

[@hankhill3871]

Kate Middleton but if the husband is dead

[@piqueny8872]

so DONT hurt her, don't change her, DONT try to analyze and DONT expect more than she can give, smile when she make you happy, Let her know when she makes you mad miss her when she's not there- bob marley DIVORCED ADVICE- most men arent smart enough to realize the higher you elevate your women, the less available she is for other men, when you break her down, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better.

[@urwashahid9210]

Pique NY absolutely correct

[@rosyad8012]

Pique NY

[@reu7215]

Pique NY MashaAllah

[@Ashnesss]

Pique NY very true! But smart women are not that dumb. They'll make silent moves and the guy will end up looking like a fool lol 😂

[@issackabdi6946]

Pique NY kk

[@noreenakhtar7214]

Unfortunately my husband doesn’t see my hurt especially when he has made grave mistakes. When I try to speak he believes I’m being confrontational. May Allah SWT give me patience, but the day my patience runs out - nothing will make me stay with him.

[@sasa_homes]

Aamin. Also, remember Allah loves you. So after a while of you practising sabr, ask yourself "would Allah be happy if you kept yourself in this situation if he's not changing?". Ask Him for His guidance, i promise He will guide you. I wish you all the best💗💗

[@justexploreshare7356]

same , me too

[@imane3170]

Same here ...

[@peaceofthemind815]

In the name of privacy most of the husbands talk other girls and hide message from their wife nd expect their wifes to trust them... Strange😢

[@Sailboat784]

This man is bringing non-believers closer to Allah. I have never been religious, but I come to this man for guidance and consolation whenever I’m in trouble. From someone about as American as it gets

[@Uluhbek97]

Lol I am not even married, and I am watching this.

[@amaanulhaqrizwan4319]

Ur blessed still

[@BulkyHealthyCat]

It will help you after marriage

[@fizicorgan1510]

Same here..am 41....but I would like to be...InsyaAllah

[@Demigod_99]

To learn

[@AbdullahibnWalid]

Soon inshaallah

[@roheenasyed4911]

Nobody explains the things the way you do....tears rolled down my eyes...

[@letitrain34]

Mufti Menk, Yasir Qadhi, Omer Soloman and Nouman Ali Khan. Are true Scholars and amazing Sheikhs of Islam at this challenging times and all talk about the rights of women in Islam. May Allah (swt) Reward them all with Janatul-Fardows

[@mahadshah3858]

Well they also have spoken about men rights at certain occassion but one thing is common that everyone of them in their speech always nailed it and explain wonderfully about the right of marriage itself. Few things I derive from there lectures is the most important requirement of marriage is 1) Trust 2) Compromise 3) Forgiveness 4) Same purpose ( Be the best version of yourself) And most important 5) Communication

[@nabeehaessam2084]

I couldn't hold my tears throughout this video.

[@addeymir]

I pray Allah swt makes it easy for you sister!

[@queenland2882]

me too im actually naturally quite mentally strong, i know no one going to understand how i feel. i know people will always let me down that's why i don't really need anyone to tell me that, it's okay, everything going to be fine or your beautiful etc. i don't think i need a shoulder to cry. Because Allah swt is enough for me. you know we should actually love ourselves the way we want someone else to love us

[@noorahabeeb]

Same

[@mishaali5626]

mee too

[@Kireniimran]

same got teary eyed!

[@naimaelmi9583]

To all those who are unmarried! Men and women..... May God grant us pious offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes 🤲

[@Al7amdulilah]

Ameen

[@-_-Emperor-_-]

Ameen

[@honesty1956]

You mean pious spouse and then pious offsprings.

[@Hikmatee]

May Allah bless me with a husband like Ustand Nouman Ali Khan. Masha Allah, he is adorable the way he is :)

[@rosyad8012]

little star only if he doesn't divorce you after 13 years of married and having 7 children.

[@LightMeUp04]

Ista Sadhya where did you hear that? Ive been seeing it a lot online

[@Ms23Lolita]

little star Ameen

[@sharmink]

little star best of luck sister

[@lymaabdoul]

Kate Middleton seriously ?? God !

[@RealCoachMustafa]

This is my third time listening to this because it's always a good reminder. And if it shows up on my KZbin recommendations feed, then it's likely because Allah wants me to be reminded.

[@Sashologist]

22:50 ...I knew it!!! It felt like spiritual abuse as well. I'm a recent convert to Islam but I get the gist of this way of life &Alhamdulillah I READ the Qur'an

[@TedeburTube]

I'm not even married but i think You encouraged me to get married and be like allah wants me to be for my wife

[@didadie7304]

its just amazing how the quran teach us so muchhhh

[@crystaldawn8875]

Im from a Native American background and in the teachings of many tribes for the Husband and Wife..is..The wife is to inspire her mate to come close to God and his role is to protect her as she walks the earth. This lecture is amazing Thank You✨🌼

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

Her and his role is also to take his and her of her offsprings.

[@shamsiyanoorulquloob281]

This!

[@kurioushan7032]

I really like that too 😃👍

[@SHAJ3304]

Amazing!

[@noname-cc4ox]

Mashallah very important lecture. But two things must be addressed here: 1) NAK being a public figure should explain what he learnt from his own divorce and how can we benefit from his experience of divorce. 2) Whatever he is saying sounds good but how can I confidently implement it in my life after knowing that his own marriage resulted in failure after 6 kids.

[@r.mdmuzaffar4417]

Shamsiya Noorul Quloob alhamdulilah

[@shamsiyanoorulquloob281]

Did not know he was divorced - SubhanAllah! May Allah heal him and his ex-wife and may Allah protect their kids. I pray Allah makes them both amazing pious single parents. Also divorce doesn't always mean failure. In most cases divorce is a solution. Since neither of us know him or his wife personally I do not think we need to link his knowledge and his position as a public figure with what transpired between him and his wife and what lead to the decision of divorce. In most of the talks especially the talk about Modesty on Bayyinah TV I have heard him praise his wife so much. Only Allah knows what happened and as literally mere spectators we can only make dua for both of them and for their beautiful children. And I am sure in future he will explain about divorce and his lessons but that's his prerogative and choice. Just because he is a public figure and is divorced we cannot expect him to start sharing one of the most vulnerable experience of his life with public. Definitely need to respect their boundaries. May Allah heal both their hearts - ameen ya rabbi. Jazak Allah khair for your comment. I had no idea. They both will be in my constant duas now.

[@gul2745]

These are men who are brought up by women unfortunately ,their illiterate mother's, who don't teach them one basic thing and that is to respect a woman. I have been abused emotionally,mentally , physically,tortured and harassed by my husband,his family, community and the society I live in. And yes, these kind of animals don't watch this kind of bayan, if they had so much knowledge and sense they wouldn't be the animals they are. But thank you so much for such a wonderful bayan. May Allah bless you for speaking true words from the Qur'an..Aameen

[@ashmazad857]

Animals????? My sister are you mentally ok..Islam teaches to be patient and wise with your words

[@gul2745]

@@ashmazad857 You address me as a sister and still ask the question? I guess you don't have a sister in real..So you don't know the pain of a sister...

[@ashmazad857]

Apologies I didnt intend offend .I have a mother,sisters,daughters, niece's Allhumdulilah. On a personal note =my assetts wer worth £2.3million.Banks wanted ther money back.i chose to sell to my In-laws to pay off debt and save assetts for my family ie my wife kids . My Brother in law slept on it for 4 weeks after agreement with our both legal advisers. And last minute chose to pull out upon advise from my wife (his sister)and my mother in law..Banks repossessed my properties and sold them in Auction .I lost £3/million today's values. Now i get abuse from my wife and kids that I have no money. As they want to live in luxury. May Allah out prayers and forgive us all for our misdeeds.Ameen

[@gul2745]

@@ashmazad857 I am sorry you had to go through this . I wish your wife had been more understanding and had tried to co operate with you brother. You must have read about my situation what I have been put through by my husband,in laws ,our community and the society at large. May Allah guide us to the right path and resolve our problems. Aameen....

[@ashmazad857]

My dear thanks for reply, I fully sympathise with you ,,after years actually 33yrs to be precise.I still find no peace with family. All I find is praying ,reading the Quran in translation Allhumdulilah helps immensely. As Allah says we must all move forward and Allah will.punish the wrong and Allah will compensate the wronged.My sister it is a hard life,sometimes Allah keeps on testing us..But I have found with study now that sometimes silence can be the best reply as it hurts whom want you to explode ,as they want to see you upset,vexed it feeds there narcissism. MAY ALLAH GUIDE YOU AMEEN!!!

[@lovenature904]

I'm 21 and I will try to watch this every year before marriage and almost 30 times the day I get married Insha"Allah and continue watching this after marriage. I am learning so much from this and I will try to be a just husband, the way Allah described.

[@somjan7124]

Can't wait tel next khutbah.every speech he gives it just makes my life brighter.

[@shamsiyanoorulquloob281]

Massive Jazak Allah khair Ustadh Nouman and Team bayyinah! About time this was addressed - we need more Shuyookh to address this and address Muslim men directly. So many confuse being Qawwam as being mini dictators at home and so many use spiritual blackmailing - subhanAllah!

[@headmistressggpspathanwala7050]

I am not married. Not a man still watching so that I may know how my future hubby should be.

[@royaamin2939]

this is saddening so much .... I'm scared for my parents ... may Allah gives me enough Hikma so I can do something for their relation so it be healthy

[@aasi0814]

Aameeennn

[@uroojtabish]

sorry to say.. but these kind of husbands don't even listen to these khutbas... if they had a fear from Allah at first plc they would have understand this before getting married...

[@LindsayBethHartman]

We can hope one day

[@aftabahmad8185]

But most of our Asian Husband do this kind of stuff because that's the mentality they have been brought up with...so it does help

[@nazmunnnazmun6768]

Exactly!!

[@wishuponhealing]

urooj dar you are very right. They don’t even know these modern scholars who are trying to revive sunahs and break shackles of cultural norms that ruined the marriages or woman’s mental health.

[@fatma-et4yk]

urooj dar u r right, they are not true believers to begin with just lip service 😞

[@tabassumzaheer615]

I am a sister from India Hyderabad listened to this impressive lecture mayAllaha give immense ajar in here and hereafter to nouman Ali Khan and his family for enlightening us on such a sensitive issue ...May Allaha help us to rectify our ignorance and forgive us our sins guide us Ameen ...summa Ameen .. This special lecture is a blessing a gem that safes nd prevent families from collapsing j .may Allah tala bless nouman sir for spreading the true essence of our Deen and it's beautiful teachings of Islam .. I am a great fan of you ..your lectures that had guided and helping me to understand my Deen better and in my life theory and practically following may Allaha forgive my shortcomings it is through you that I am I try to be a good muslimahama jazakumullahu khairan kaseer for the islaaha.

[@parveennehar3290]

May Allah swt give us women sabr and make it easy for us all to keep trying to make marriage work. Ameen

[@tiesties536]

I'm not married but recently I looked up the meaning of surat nissah and I was angry and felt pain in my heart. I was only thinking about my rights as a woman. Few hours later I looked it up from another perspective in my mind and said my dua after taraweeh ; La illaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu min azzalaimin. After that I felt so much peace overwelming me because I knew that my intention is to have a man that is good for me and to be a pillar in my life whom I respect inshallah. Then the next morning subhannalah I see this video and now it even makes more sense to me. Allah o Akbar❤Ramadan kareem🙏

[@rajasah5305]

Sister same in case of me. In my country, that verse of surah nisa used to explain the authority óver women. They translate it like," Men are the master of women" or " Men are authoritative of women". So whenever I used to read this wrong and patriarchal translation, I used to fill extremely sad and angry. But all praises to the almighty Allah, very soon I found the real meaning of the verse and I was completely astonished. May Allah protect us all from misconceptions and distortions. Ameen.

[@aasiafr]

One of the best lectures on the responsibilities of a husband towards his wife. Masha Allah

[@tahirariaz8506]

My heart melts and eyes get filled with tears whenever I listen to you. You are amazing. May Allah SWT make you and your family prosper

[@noordarbs2539]

We need one for women as well!

[@MuhammadAli-wy6ku]

Great Great Great. I learn a lot May Allah make ua good Husband, brothers, sons. Allah help us and give us patience.

[@shifashaikh787]

first time watching a man in islam that is teaching men on how to be men? Coz most I find lectures of men teaching women on how to be a women

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

Women should teach women how to be a Woman 😅

[@rydertoolsllc80]

Masha Allah, what a wonderful lecture. It really shows how Islam came to guide every aspect of our lives. Especially what he talked about around minute 15 was especially relevant in my life as a husband and son. May Allah preserve brother Nouman.

[@kheddarvarhnz]

Working a better Man for the woman who Allah has made for me. Thank you for this insight. May Allah make it easy for us to be better Muslims. Ameen

[@prettycaramel9237]

Islam is beautiful. So beautiful.

[@romeochannel998]

I wanna get married, ya Muslimin make dua for me. InshaAllah the girl am I’m gonna marry gonna be coolness of my eyes 👀, make dua for me!!. And may allah bless every single person and give them a happy life ❤️❤️

[@tanyadesmarais1096]

I’m dealing with emotional abuse from my husband.

[@djayzjayd7114]

No Woman Deserves That Sister May Allah Fulfill Your Needs In This World And The Hereafter In The Most Beautiful Way...Ameen

[@rajababy2009]

try your best to realize him and if he does not understand then act as per your situation because we dont know your real situation sister ..May ALLAH SWT helps you sister ameen summa ameen

[@sarahdelumbar4540]

May u will find happiness under the power of Allah subhanah was taala..

[@JahannamHellfire]

My husband is Muslim and he destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wife and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you.

[@SuicideRedemption]

Same. I hope it gets better for you

[@kawtharbakhach5848]

Itwould be ridiculous for Muslim men to get worked up about a single lecture describing how to be the ideal husband or what your wife should be able to expect from you. Lectures like that are all too rare- whereas muslim women are constantly being told "the rights of the husband" and "how to be a dutiful wife" . Literally, this is the only youtube clip I have seen so far not harping on about the husband's rights and choosing to see the other side instead.

[@aishaqazi9062]

Yeah.. And what is more sad is he had to pre-pacify the men "don't worry...I'll tell them too". Just shows the mindset of the society.

[@Meatwad787]

Aisha Qazi Meanwhile I see more khutbas about men's responsibilities than women. Maybe we are only seeing what we need to see?

[@katalenaanastasia]

because islam limits how women can obtain information... I assume this is why most lectures are focused towards them... its rare and potentially inappropriate for a woman to walk up to a man and have these open conversations on these topics. however a good husband should be able to have open dialog with his wife to explain what his expectations are.

[@summaiyarobi4915]

So true!!!!

[@PB-si5zt]

@@katalenaanastasia I must disagree with you, prophet Muhammad peace be upon him spoke to women with great respect about every topic he spoke to men about and made a point to display the rights of women even in his last sermon, in fact Islam isn't the issue it is perfect in its entirety (the manual isn't broken the user is choosing another path), it is the indoctrination to secularization and cultural misappropriation and backward thinking that is the opposite of Islam. The greatest scholars of history were muslim women, case in pin the first university was made by a morrocan muslim woman called Fatima may Allah sw be pleased with her.

[@halimadiallo9377]

mashAllah amazing lecture as usual ! , may Allah reward our aalims and all those who are helping us to get back on track . May Allah guide us all to his Jannah with Rasulullah saws , ameen

[@hijabigirl9338]

halima diallo ameen summa ameen...

[@niquabispeaksabyssiniaiman9048]

halima diallo Ameen Yah Rabb Ameen

[@lockzy21]

this is by far one of the best and most elaborate lectures about the husband and wife relationship. Barak Allahu Feekum Ustad Nauman Ali Khan.

[@simbellasimran362]

This lecture was quite wonderful and helpful. Thank you and have a great day ✨😊 I'm not a Muslim though but quite nice listening to other cultures (I'm not religious but from a Sikh family) I think all cultures are nice in their own way and people should understand each other, rather than being rude and racist. Would result in a better world ✨

[@arshadcrazee]

Allaah give Jazaae khair to Nouman Ali Khan.. It is a Reminder to all us men to be kind to our wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters, and treat them with respect, dignity, not rebuke them, help to fulfill their goals, take a stand for them... Allaah help us all in doing that...

[@mybigbellybutton1552]

I'm third comment. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, my little cousin who always had faith in me, i'd like to thank my procrastination to allow me to be here and yeah.

[@rahmaaden1189]

Mybig Bellybutton 😂😂😂😂🏅

[@mybigbellybutton1552]

lol

[@pearls9957]

procrastination looooool

[@7teen238]

shut up

[@0s0sXD]

Mybig Bellybutton😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@gmailcom1000]

My husband doesn't value me, does not appreciate me, does not behave good towards me. He does alot emotional abuse. He does not secure me. He is not fair towards me at all. I don't think I can take it anymore. I feel he just used me to get visa!

[@sihamsisi7230]

Then you are in an abusive relationship and he is not a real Qawwam

[@muslimahmusings1536]

Love NAK as always, but being called dark is NOT a slur. Allah made humanity from the palest ivory to the deepest earth tones, all of which are beautiful.

[@MegaAsuku]

He was speaking from the point of view of South Asians where fair/pale complexion is considered beautiful and darker skin/complexion is considered ugly. In this sense it is considered a slur.

[@curiousgeorge6921]

Hijabi Jones nouman is divorced and is preaching this lol

[@Silmi.K]

ut bo So? There are sahabas who were divorced. Allah has made talaq halal so who are you to make fun of anybody just because he/she is divorced? Just because he is divorced makes him a bad teacher? Learn to seperate a persons personal life from their work. We are all humans not angels, we are all prone to make mistakes, but if someone is lecturing something that is relevant, you are not allowed to bring him down by mentioning his personal life.

[@curiousgeorge6921]

Sil Key there are also sahabas who are hypocrit pieces of shit if you bother to read the quran you will see it....but most of ya all dont unless its a mechanical recitation u dumb asses

[@Silmi.K]

ut bo You dont even know me and you talk to me like tht, yeah, shows how much you "practice" islam You have the audacity to call sahabas "pieces of shit" may Allah guide you! Maybe you should get yourself a crash course on how to behave with other people, People like you bring bad name to islam and muslims, because you dont know how to interact with other humans.

[@Muslim-cs6ri]

(O Allaah, send Your salaah (grace, honour and mercy) upon Muhammad and upon his wives and offspring, as You sent Your salaah upon Ibraaheem, and send Your blessings upon Muhammad and upon his wives and offspring, as You sent Your blessings upon the family of Ibraaheem. You are indeed Praiseworthy, Most Glorious).”

[@anikaali7009]

SubhanAllah! How beautiful is our Deen! Men not only have the responsibility to protect women but to support and guide them to fulfil their ambitions! Sadly, in our South-Eastern culture the men think their responsibilities are to only feed and clothe women and make them feel useless...

[@adamharrisakarexon9492]

I am a Pakistani and I really want to meet Nouman Ali Khan.

[@yourlexusgirl5814]

InshaAllah

[@hasankhan6156]

I'm divorced. Brother Noman in this Khutbah is so freakishly relatable to my life. He did a great job but things go deeper than that before everything goes south in ones life.

[@sheralikhan3796]

One of the most fun islamic speakers, JazakAllah brother !!

[@ajpeng7992]

I hope that every Muslim man remembers these principles as much as expected by Allah.

[@erikahammerramalho1025]

May Allah bless Nouman Khan and his family and loved ones♥️🌹💐.MaashaAllah 🌹 He truly inspired me to get closer to Allah. He is a blessing. He talks about the very important issues that are not talked about enough or at all. Alot of Muslims think for example you can hit women but in fact this is not Islam at all. Allahu Akbar 💖 💐 🌹 🌻 💕 🌷 Most Gracious Most Merciful.

[@shahanasali1321]

Dear everyone, now I am staying separated from my husband as he I'll treated me.please pray for my life to become good as I wished with my husband...

[@Degnemla]

Allah youslihou baynakouma wa yajma3ou Baynakouma fima youhibouhou wa yardah

[@shahanasali1321]

@@Degnemla Brother,I don't know Arabic well.Can you say the translation of what you said in English please...

[@Degnemla]

@@shahanasali1321 I'm not that good in english. But this is what google traduction said : (God fit among you and brings you together with what He loves and desires) With All My Respect

[@shahanasali1321]

@@Degnemla Thanks brother,do remember me and my sadness in your duas

[@ukhtiehafsah6750]

May Allah make it easy ya ukhti, may your sadness become happiness. Ameeen

[@dontan22]

Drop the ego, recognise your shortcomings and fix it, do you really want half your deen compromised or your family destroyed, sometimes you need a wake up call.

[@katyflame3668]

Sometimes the wake up call is too late. Unfortunately.

[@zazakage62]

Now i understand why i couldnt marry yet. It’s because i did not reach the level to deserve the wife i want. May Allah forgive us, and increase us. Ameen.

[@fardowsamohamed7731]

Ma sha Allah TabarakaAllah brother, I haven’t heard anyone that made more sense today. JazakAllah kheir 😊😊😊😊

[@swiftallan5094]

Wow! U have shed light onto very important subject which us men don't understand, we just know that haven is under the feet of ur mum. Thank you, Allah bless you always

[@aimy2219]

I- I'm a daughter. I'm 21 years old, old enough to understand this life a bit. My father.. we love him, he loves us too, alot actually. But he says he doesn't talk deply/ constantly to my mom because he thinks that it's better to not have a conversation and everything would be alright that way. Although the matter still remains unsolved and my mom is left alone thinking that's she's materialistic and doesn't say alhamdullilah enough. I know my mom! I'm the oldest. I have seen them throughout my life. My father is really islamic and also gives many lectures publically. But because of his own childhood traumas we as children have also been transferred those traumas. That's aside, I just want my mom to be at ease from heart, feel trusted, communicate-able, loved, respected and NOT just seen as a slave for the family..... I urge her to see her worth and find herself before marriage... But I can't blame her for not even trying.. she feels hopeless , sad, and things I don't even know.... It's been 21 years of their marriage. My mom is still staying strong and putting up with such behaviours. I can't see her being treated like this. I can't talk to my father out of respect and out of sadness... But I want to change his heart for the things he's ignoring. I can't stand still no more. It breaks my heart seeing them like this. The same thing " just living under the same roof"... Should I send my father this? As a daughter? Would it be right? Any other suggestions? Or anything?? I need help. Please. My trust my lord way too much, but I wanna change this now. I can't-.... YaAllah..

[@aimy2219]

He loves his work as a professor so he keeps himself busy in the name of serving his nation. But I don't think this serving, while neglecting once partner would be acceptable by Allah. I don't want him to get punished and regret it later. So I want him to know what he's doing is wrong. But since I'm a girl, if I speak up I would be considered a good daughter... But the truth is I just want what's best for them. I don't want nothing from this. I just want my parents to be happy. My heart physically aches for my mom and father. He knows but he still manages to ignore. It wasn't my mom's foult for him to be like this. She has tried sooo hard to change him for the better. But he just shrugges her off like she's nothing but a house-maid.. My mom still tells her not to talk bad about him.. he does this and that and that he loves us.. but I'm starting to hate him. I don't want to.. I was his first child, only girl, loved to the core. And now I feel hopeless and angry when I see my mom suffering in silence. I .. don't k what to do anymore. I don't wanna lose my parents.. what do I do.. Yallah guide him to the right. I'm not perfect neither is he. But fundamental basic right and needs should be a nessesary in a family. Money isn't everything. Time, devotion, communcation is neseccary.... I'm tired..

[@amedinabrahim3108]

Send to him

[@aimy2219]

@@amedinabrahim3108 3 months after. I find myself finding something / some way by which I could make my brown dad realise that he can improve. I just dont want my parents t suffer in this world or in the other world... Yallah madad. It tears my heart to pieces..

[@ML-jw8kf]

@@aimy2219 What is the situation now?

[@hanaidres68]

God bless you finally someone gets it, do you know there is a plenty of men in Middle East... They ask their women to take care of their Moms and when her mom elder and needs care no one will take care of her... That means Every daughter in law taking care of her mother in law... What religion is that? Every daughter should take care of her Mom... Please talk about that... Thanks a lot.

[@nazmunnnazmun6768]

That's why he is talking about the truth of Islam.

[@Waed2011]

بارك الله فيك وزادك الله تعالى من فضله.

[@StaraEsthetic]

Brother Norman Ali Khan, mashaallah you are really eloquent speaker, and undoubtedly one of the most influential speakers. Alhamdulillah you are a great gift from almighty Allah in our deen Islam. The pictures you have described about (Qawam) the husband is supposed to do with wife, unfortunately they do just opposite, most of the time they are dominator, oppressive, and passive in motivation to the wives. And those pains multiplied if the wife lives with in laws. May Allah reward you with plenty of blessings, hasana and give you jannah in hereafter for your all the good deeds and efforts, Amin.

[@99leave]

Uhibbuka fillah brother Nouman. It is really RARE to find just, educated, and enlightened Islamic scholars. They are very restricted with old ideas, not educated and so biased for men. I am an Arabic person who lived my entire life in an Islamic, Arabic country, and I still see that, sadly. Your ideas represent the beautiful, true features of Islam and they're close to my conclusions too after lot's of readings and questioning for justice and help. May Allah guide you to the right path and always help you to spread the great and true Islam. Ameen.

[@hafsakhan4096]

This sort of lectures should be in Urdu..... Most of lectures in Urdu has no such discussion with details of how married life has to be as Muslims Especially husbands..... Not everybody understands English..... Hope there comes a person who does such job

[@Sas-rf9sy]

Well if you are speak that language, you could create subtitles and have them added by the channel owner. I mean it's better than wait for somebody else to come and do it.

[@maheenzafar8929]

It gets tiring to be honest. Men will go google and search "wife's responsibilities" "wife's obedience" but won't look into themselves are they really the men Allah describes? A husband's responsibility isn't just financial support to wife, what about emotional support? The most important of them.

[@golden12078]

Why not put it in the mahr?

[@Erbazak47]

Top reason for abuse is joined family system and its very toxic... Every one should live seperately on there own house with privacy...

[@DinaTinyworld]

I m like servant…no talk no conversation..just cook

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

I feel sad for you

[@AliMohammed-ez6nt]

Do something special to impress him, get a sixpack or learn splits that will impress any man and make him your friend if thats what you want

[@SM-zm3fs]

He is totally ryt ...my husband is also nice but his family is abusive ...if I say something for my justice ...they make it to the wrong way and starts beating me ...and even then my husband says to make sorry to his family by touching their feet n kissing their head 💔

[@bullseye9723]

lol, why do u need to speak up when u dont have right in this matter

[@islamamir8267]

Can’t watch this without a drop of tear each minute

[@sykashafi3808]

Your every word is so precious. May allah preserve you. Love you

[@mangekyosharingan5052]

I have definitely gone in to the trap where im thinking about my rights and neglecting my responsibilites. Definitely a point of improvement for me. Thank you for giving me a reminder of the rights Allah has given our sisters.

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

Responsibilities > Rights. We man choose responsibility over our comfort because we are the King of our house and we lead the family

[@mangekyosharingan5052]

@@LeonEdwardsAesthetic Spot on brother. May Allah keep us steadfast in our Deen

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

@@mangekyosharingan5052 ameen

[@lilyg4925]

Thank you brother for this very important reminder to ALL the men. I as well as many women appreciate.

[@ahsanghumman4497]

Very touchy topic beautifully explained.

[@raziagloop95]

But not all fathers protect their daughters because some do physically hit their daughter, emotionally abuse them, don't make them feel safe. I think we need more of an acknowledgement that sometimes fathers are not heroes but are toxic and its OK to find a family outside of the biological one.

[@user-nq3zk6rk4d]

The best Khutbah that could describe these lines these sensitive parameters.... may ALLAH bless you sir

[@azimahjalil610]

I am very happy that you share these informations alhamdulillah. Some people misunderstood the religion of Islam specially muslim in Asian countries. Jazakallah khair for your beautiful reminder to all of our brothers.

[@Graceamazimg]

Truth is not always easy or sweet to the ear

[@Chinese.driver]

The Prophet S A W said: Do not beat the female slaves of Allah. (Sunan Ibn Majah 1985)

[@LeonEdwardsAesthetic]

Don't beat slaves (regardless of gender). Harming anyone physically or mentally is haram in Islam. You only pick the Woman's side only :(

[@valeriecyan1857]

The way sir you describe, as a muslim I should have already knew but I don't. That's my lacking. But through you Allah is teaching me my lackings. So jajhakallahu Khairan.

[@syazaih9711]

Another excellent talk by Brother Nouman! This is an eye-opener about the interpretation of the word 'Qawwam'. I pray that all Muslim brothers will be excellent leaders of their families.

[@hoor5827]

Amazing Bayan... I request all the husbands out there to watch and act on a few things... it's not impossible to do... u can do it, your wife is also someone's daughter someone's sister... treat her the way you want your daughter to be treated tomorrow....

[@kareemabarote8102]

Assalamualaikum, I hope my husband will hear this Kutbah, a good reminder for all husbands..

[@asadmomin6178]

aND I HOPE YOU will take it as a responsibility

[@HaveSabr]

5:56 13:20 - 19:20 and 24:02

[@AliMohammed-ez6nt]

What do these verses have in common? what do you want to say?

[@faryals0862]

whenever I feel frustrated and agitated, I come to this channel and it puts me at ease. Jazak Allah for that... Please do a video on the eldest son and his responsibilities towards his own family (wife and children) and towards his siblings...

[@MrSavanish]

I heard a lot of sexual allegations about this man and IF they're true and he did wrong GOD or the law will judge him BUT my god I love his teachings and the way he talks about Islam and about the Quran , what he says is gold, may God bless him for what he teaches , I just love his khutbas and interventions and his way really

[@narafcis7234]

Spreading rumors without proof is a sin