Why the Dutch always say what they mean - BBC REEL

[@Jude74]

I’ve always been told I’m too blunt. Then I went to go work for a Dutch company and they really liked me. I mean really liked me. When they moved our North American headquarters, they asked me if I wanted to move to the Netherlands. No BS.

[@crashmatrix]

Maybe blunt, but also a bit of a chip on your shoulder eh?

[@Iflie]

@@sandrageerling3474 What a silly thing to say, the company was obviously in the U.S they would have had a ton of american employees. They must have gotten tired of the ones that beat about the bush.

[@Dinhi-gq9rb]

Yes that is because it is written (the title) by B B C and the British do not say sorry or have accountability in the majority of cases and they project their wrongdoings

[@nanettew4398]

🤗🤩 I like your story….. it’s now more than 30 years I’ve lived among English speaking people, Australians, British and South Africans….. in the meantime I’ve learned to sometimes not to be so direct, a little bit more diplomatic….. my Dutch 💞grandmother used to say: one catches more flies with honey than with vinegar ….. on the other hand my bluntness/directness is often quite useful 😂…. To me it’s important to take myself not too seriously anyway… that can be so🥱 boring 😊

[@diekstra897]

You lucky skunk! 😂

[@MsPitenali]

As a chilean I grew up in a very ambiguous environment, where everything has double or triple meaning and you never know what to expect from people around you. And so, when I lived in the Netherlands for a whole year it was VERY refreshing for me to know that they meant every single word. I'd come back if I could, and stay forever. Dutch people are golden 🧡

[@yisusb.6902]

Confirmo, la sociedad chilena es demasiado ambigua.

[@marianna3253]

For a Finnish person like myself, the Chilean ambiguity sounds like a nightmare 😬 we're known to be direct much like the Dutch

[@Iflie]

@@marianna3253 Yeah it sounds so stressful, always having to guess. Plus I think the dutch can say something like not liking your dress and you both laugh about it, because you know the person is not insulting you but just sharing an opinion and not at all implying you shouldn't wear it. I often find they are actually very cheerful when complaining about things.

[@markbajek2541]

Golden? they mostly seem a bit more pasty white looking

[@IanWalker-d4j]

Ahhhhh ! 🤪 Sit on the fence English , White man speak with fork tounge 😏.. (I am a white Brit of 66 years) just to be clear 😉. No offense intended.

[@aurazero0]

I'm Greek but I am like the Dutch in behavior and I mostly like this kind of straightforwardness! People who say "we should hangout" but not really mean it hurt my feelings 😔

[@fujin09]

agree so much, especially the feelings being hurt by these lies and fake attitudes. I'm belgian and very direct myself, but i live in a multicultural country (belgians themselves are very different because of the languages) and the amount of foreigners, making it hard to be as i am here

[@1glassMilk]

It can hurt. You are welcome to come to the Netherlands. ;) I live near Groningen. ;) Have you ever been to the Netherlands? ;)

[@1glassMilk]

​@@fujin09Belgians are mostly speaking French or Dutch right? And these two groups live in different parts of the country. Also the culture of these groups is different I think. The French part is culturally more French I think. And the Dutch part is more Dutch and Flemish I think.

[@NickAskew]

Having lived here in the Netherlands 30 years and even having acquired Dutch citizenship, I can honestly say I've never really noticed the directness although I keep hearing about it. I might be missing something but I find the feedback I get from Dutch colleagues and friends to be easy to cope with rather than appearing rude. What I have noticed is a respect in both directions in hierarchy at the workplace. In the UK more junior people would fear talking to the seniors, here the more junior person is quite happy to speak up and give their opinion and for me that is a great thing.

[@xerxescroes2281]

So agree with this! I grew up in Amsterdam and Lelystad and I never found the Dutch to be especially Direct. They are as transactional as the rest - some do like to describe themselves as painfully honest which of course is total BS. Nevertheless, I like the Dutch, always happy to run into them here in the US. I also hear sometimes that Dutch are rude or arrogant- don’t really agree with this either - always found most friendly, eager to meet and learn about other cultures, travelers and world wise. And of course the Dutch have the best cheese, the best bread (tijger brood, duivenkater omg yum).

[@bubb5225]

I lived in the Netherlands & have never heard about the Dutch supposedly being direct and have never thought they were especially so in personal encounters. The Dutch are the same as New York & its environs. Amsterdam is like NYC in the way people act & think. The rest of Holland is like the suburbs of CN, the NY counties outside the city and northern NJ. I don’t know about south Holland, though, I know they have their own culture there.

[@sail4life]

@@bubb5225 The communication style in south of the Netherlands is definitely much less direct, in Belgium its even more indirect. I got the same impression as you from the TV stereotypes, though I've never been to NYC, I only made it as far as Texas.

[@Scapestoat]

@@bubb5225 And to think that after Noord Holland & Zuid Holland, there are ten additional provinces!

[@joostprins3381]

Directness doesn’t mean rude.

[@ivoluijendijk5529]

As a Dutchman working internationally; I tend to make a joke out of it. "Allow me to be very Dutch here for a moment". That makes it clear I'll make a tough statement in a minute and that my audience needs to take it at face value. Never fails.

[@soeppoes8949]

I do this too, albeit in online communities! It works there as well!

[@luketimewalker]

hahaha

[@Metalmassacre07]

Sounds like dutch autism. People probably hate you.

[@ivoluijendijk5529]

@@Metalmassacre07 you must be fun at parties

[@wilwil9147]

Allow me to be Dutch in my business travels would mostly be communicating something with pricing ;)

[@ralfhtg1056]

I as a German like this directness. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Live could be so much easier if everybody was like that and I wished the world was so direct as a whole!

[@jong9379]

of course Germans like this. After all, Dutch are called Swamp Germans, aren't they?

[@shespeakssoftly]

Would you say Germans aren’t direct? Most of the Germans I know where I live (US) are refreshingly direct. Maybe I think that because the city I’m from is known for passivity!

[@ralfhtg1056]

@@shespeakssoftly it depends. Sometimes my fellow Germans are not as direct as I would like them to be. Especially the generations that are in their early 20s or below.

[@HermanWillems]

This only works if you respect each others opinion and have the full freedom to express your opinion. This is not the case in many countries with dictators and fear.

[@shespeakssoftly]

@@ralfhtg1056 thanks for the reply!

[@koosroest]

For me as a Dutchman it is rude when people are not direct. Saying “we must meet for dinner” and then not making an appointment is simply a lie. Untruth that is not meant remains untruth.

[@Badkuipeend]

You'd hate it in Belgium then :D

[@telebubba5527]

It's just a blatant lie that the Dutch don't do that. They absolutely do. I've come across it hundreds of times,,,,, no thousands.

[@NataschaYT]

@@telebubba5527 of course it happens, but you will absolutely be in discredit with that person or vice versa if you are not meeting up or have a good excuse

[@annoholics]

@@telebubba5527 Well, talking about blatant lies. If you would meet every 2 weeks with new people that would invite you to dinner and don't follow up with an actual invitation and that happend thousands (plural) of times, then you should be death by now or extremely old.

[@SeverityOne]

It just means that other cultures have different ways of communicating. Even though the English and Dutch languages are pretty close, culturally there's a much larger difference. If you're incapable of grasping that, it's not the fault of the other culture.

[@angeloselarja]

I'd live in the Netherlands over the UK with no regrets. Being direct causes less drama than what being "polite" tries to avoid unsuccessfully resulting in more drama.

[@Melinmingle]

Still plenty of drama to go around here

[@s.m.1354]

The reason for us Dutch being direct is simple: we are pragmatic. Why ask: “When you could please?” If you could get something done by saying: “If you do it now we will have time left afterwards.” Communication should be comprehensible and quick, in order not to waste time.

[@Draregkoeliekalie]

@@dsdf_fdp1858 at work in my team we always tell eachother if someone made a mistake. Not too make him/her feel bad. Just to keep eachother sharp and make eachother better. There are no hard feelings at all. Mistakes are human, we tell eachother, sometimes try to find a solution to prevent it from happening and move on. We dont let a collegue make the same mistake over and over and everyone gets annoyed, but nobody tells that collegue what goes wrong.... since thats just wrong

[@chrisc9755]

@@s.m.1354 If the British were totally honest and forthright, we'd end up in a civil war or revolution. Our disimilation and obfuscation is the only thing that stops us being savages, we're all football hooligans underneath that thin veil of courtesy. We had to be honest during the Brexit debate and now we're totally split up in tribes that hate each other.

[@s.m.1354]

@@chrisc9755 I strongly disagree. For our Bilingual education we had to travel many times to the UK. The UK is pretty segregated , either people are elitarian and extremely decent. Or those who I actually liked more, who I met on holidays and we played not just football, but all types of sport. Those of the lower echelons that work abroad, they can be real nasty indecent, selfish cunts. Some of them don’t even have the capability to understand football. Seems shockingly similar to Dutch society, but we try to improve ourselves. Currently working on being more tolerant to work migrants, it creates situations where lads from the UK have to become assholes that only care about themselves, because we exploited a fear regime among Polish work migrants. Even some Poles died because of that..

[@ani022]

I grew up in a culture where there was a lot of reading in-between the lines and people would be overly nice to a person’s face, then talk badly behind their back. This messed me up mentally over time. So, when entering adulthood I became much more direct and appreciative of when people would be direct with me. I also appreciated when people would not be offended so easily about my opinion shared. I think it ought to be more that way. It provides more room for people to be themselves. I didn’t want people pretending to be my friend or trying to help me feel better by keeping me in an illusion of what they really thought. That doesn’t show love in my view. I may get my feelings hurt for a moment by someone being honest but at least I know what they are thinking and that I can trust them to tell me the truth.

[@Thrivinginthespotlight]

Yeah at least you can trust them

[@ChromosomeSyndicate]

A Belgian or France ?

[@claymag9803]

😂😂😂 do you really think Dutch people don't Gossip/talk behind someone's back?

[@MaxineIrvine]

I'm from the UK, now in the NL, I'm half Irish half British and my partner is Dutch. Now that I've lived here a while life is so much simpler and stress free when it comes to communication. The Dutch are great for getting to the point. "hey, want to hang out this weekend?" UK - um... Maybe? I think I'm free, I'll get in touch (never hear a word all weekend). The NL - nope. I don't want to. I've been working hard all week and I want a day to myself. I love it.

[@pjf2193]

I'm a Brit living in Florida. I used to be so like this, or making up some excuse as to why I couldn't make it. These days I definitely prefer the direct approach and I feel like people appreciate that much more than some random excuse which would come across as being flakey.

[@whitepouch0904]

You’re example is more like decisiveness versus indecisiveness.

[@dxfifa]

@@whitepouch0904 No, because many people hide behind the veil of indecisiveness to avoid saying no

[@haralddevries4715]

Lol, I literally teach my kids this. Be straight and fair, trust that people are able to understand it's not personal or about them.

[@Mark-kh1ny]

I’m British and I had a Dutch manager at one point. To this day one of the best managers I’ve had, and sure enough one of his defining and valuable traits was his honesty and directness.

[@davidtomasetti8520]

I think there is usually a way to be both direct and polite.

[@peaelle42]

it's usually in the tone and the intention (which arguably takes some time to calibrate amongst people).

[@aanthropocene]

absolutely. and that should be the ideal way of communication. i dont know why people think being direct/blunt=rude. in my opinion its much kinder to be straightforward, in general

[@josje26]

With al respecr. But it seems to me that you do not really understand. You think direct is the opposite of polite? So you think being direct is inpolite/rude. These are two very different things. We are honest, that does not mean we tell the truth to hurt your feelings, or we start yelling and cursing. We will just tell you no or yes without sugarcoating and leaving the other person confused. We value honesty more than lying to avoid "hurting" someones feelings. That also means that the other Dutch person receiving a "no" wich usually is a "no thank you" will not go cry about it or give it any negative thoughts for a second. Especially not behind the other persons back. And if they do they are called "schijnheilig" rightfully so. It would immediately be a very bad start with Dutch people cause it means you cannot be trusted. Being honest is a form of respect.

[@davidtomasetti8520]

@@josje26 im not sure if you were addressing my comment, but I would like to expand a little on your point. It wouldn’t be considered rude to respond with a simple “no” if someone asks you if you’d like some tea. It would however be more polite to say “no thank you” because it accomplishes two things, it directly answers the question while at the same time expresses appreciation for the hospitality.. I don’t see that as sugar coating anything, just acknowledging the kindness of another human.

[@paulbeaucuse2092]

After living in The Netherlands for 9 years, I have something important to add: Not everybody in The Netherlands is direct or appreciates people to be direct. This video applies very much to The Hague and Amsterdam, where I lived and worked the first 4 years. But now living and working in Maastricht (in the south) for almost 5 years, I can tell for sure, people in this region are absolutely the opposite, people are extremely polite and avoid any possible situation somebody maybe feel embarrassed in public. If my staff criticises me (as a team leader), I really have to read between the lines, or they wait to say things in a one-on-one meeting, never ever in public. The first months working in Maastricht were very confusing to me, suddenly I was considered "The rude one", too much I was communicating the "Amsterdam way". Also when it comes to punctuality and food culture the differences are really surprising to me. 15 minutes late is in Maastricht perfectly in time, in Amsterdam a disaster.

[@RichardRenes]

Then again, us Hollanders tend to jokingly say that Limburg, where Maastricht is, is not in the same country, so there is that...

[@neorejbeck]

Absolutely true. There is a cultural boundry in the Netherlands where the south (Brabant and Limburg) still has Catholic roots, while the rest of the country has been heavily influenced by Calvinists. Though people are not that religious anymore, the effect on culture is still strongly visible.

[@hansverrezen7619]

I can totally agree with this. As a Belgian musician who has worked a lot in the Netherlands I noticed a profound difference between the North and the South. Up North , even after we played three encores, there was always someone (most of the time another guitar player😁) who couldn't resist in informing me about what HE would have done differently. In the South this never happened.

[@DenUitvreter]

Allthough there is usually Holland and the rest of the country, I think it's really Limburg and to a lesser degree the also catholic Brabant that stand out as not being direct. In the East or North people are direct enough to make a Hollander blush.

[@AudieHolland]

@@hansverrezen7619 I'm quintessential Dutch, born in South Holland, raised in North Holland. And then my family moved to De Achterhoek and everything went downhill from then on 😛 But I would *never* comment a musician or artist claiming I could do better ( = anders). My mother went to a concert of Jerney Kaagman many years ago, and she said she commented her that 'she had sung beautifully.' Err... you don't say to Jerney Kaagman that she 'sang beautifully.' In my mother's place I would have just been thankful and said something like 'fantastic' or 'brilliant.' If you're unfamiliar with Jerney's work, look up 'Weekend' - Earth & Fire. However, if I ever came into hearing distance of Mr Rutte, I would tell him to go to hell.

[@geephlips]

Interesting that the city in the US most known for directness was founded by the Dutch. They called it New Amsterdam.

[@ahwabanmukherjee5065]

Interesting how that city as well grew primarily on commerce

[@lucasrem]

Then the Bloody English came.. But we Vandeblit people did stay !

[@AudieHolland]

@@lucasrem Vanderbilt. Literally from De Bilt. It's a small place next to where I live, it has a population of about 11,000.

[@grantcanty7294]

ehh... the whole east coast is known for being direct, not just nyc

[@luckyjohn19]

@@AudieHolland LoL - thanks. I've never put that together until now. De Bilt is on my passport as my place of birth in 1947. In late 1950, my parents, sister, and I moved to Tasmania, Australia. My grandmother taught the young princesses at Werkplaats Kindergemeenschap in the 40s. ~

[@BearBreath70]

Very interesting video! A Dutch colleague once wrote on her out-of-office reply that she was “on a well-deserved holiday.” I’m Canadian and was quite surprised by the message, but when I thought about it, she was right. She is one of the hardest working people I know and she did deserve a break from work.

[@SevenTheMisgiven]

@@dtn590 Usually contacting a different person is counterproductive. You will simply lose that day and not the lawyer because the lawyer would take an extra day after his holiday to go through the work with the 3rd party.

[@brucelansberg5485]

@@dtn590 _"saying that any emails will be not be read or forwarded"_ This is a great example of being clear and setting expectations. I really wouldn't know how to phrase it differently to be honest.

[@atscub]

I have been living in the Netherlands for a year and I wouldn't say the are rude, on the contrary, they are the nicest and are constantly saluting you, which I saw far less in London. Rather I would say the Dutch are transparent. They are very practical people and tend to avoid vanity. So they don't want to waste time and effort because of miscommunication. I deeply appreciate that trait of Dutch people. When they are direct, don't take it as rude, they don't have bad intentions at all, they are just being transparent.

[@jamesdean1143]

Boeren !

[@alejandromorales1904]

They are very rude

[@NLTops]

@@alejandromorales1904 And you are very judgemental.

[@0512Kasia]

I come from a similar culture and not being direct is seen as time wasting or dishonesty. I suppose depends on the cultural values. English culture should not be used as a standard for judging other cultural norms.

[@NLTops]

@@0512Kasia Interesting! Where are you from?

[@Anti-socialSocialClub]

Having lived in about six countries in my life, i have noticed that politeness in different cultures means doing different things and avoiding different things. So when you get 2 people whose idea of politeness is different, you're bound to get one person thinking the other is rude.

[@bartz0rt928]

As a Dutch person myself, I do feel that my compatriots sometimes hide behind the stereotype as an excuse for being tactless or not expressing themselves carefully. You can be direct and still care about other people's feelings, but it requires a certain skill level in a given language to do so. Many Dutch people think their English is a lot better than it actually is, and their command of their native language is often also not where it should be. As a language though, Dutch provides far less opportunity to obfuscate a lack of eloquence than English does. A clumsy native Dutch speaker will sound like a clumsy Dutch speaker; a clumsy native English speaker tends to mostly sound excessively verbose or rambling.

[@junnipur6360]

Agreed!

[@marlaafalcon]

👍

[@Sadowsky46]

You could express yourself carefully, but Dutch style is much more fun 😂

[@barakeel]

@bluemarble46 You mean the Dutch don't lie?

[@ceebee4750]

Excellent insight!

[@janet3528]

Lived here 47 years this month,love the Dutch ,ik hou van jullie 🇳🇱🥳

[@choonbox]

(nog) Gefeliciteerd, Janet!

[@cookiemonster3147]

aw, thank you so much. We love you too.

[@SpiritmanProductions]

I'm half Dutch (grew up there) and half English (lived here 40+ years), and I spent the first half of my life taking things at face value, speaking my mind, and being honest and open. Unfortunately, that did not always go down well. My controversial take on one sneaky purpose of 'politeness': We seek to win favour with people by saying nice things, but without having to put any actual effort in. e.g. By saying "you must come for dinner sometime", you're garnering credit and respect even though you have no intention of following through with the 'offer'. That seems rather dishonest to me. In the US, in many cases, they seem to have taken that ploy to another level by putting as little time, effort and resources into products and services as they can get away with, while whooping and cheering like those things are the best in the world. If it looks good and sounds good, it must _be_ good. Nope.

[@andreaandrea6716]

(Boasting is an American pastime).

[@michaklaarenbeek7966]

Good points. I (as a dutchy) remember flying to the USA as a kid and being asked ''Hi, how are you!?'' at some airport. I responded to the question, but the person that asked didn't seem to care or listen to my response. From there on it all felt so fake... After that experience I take any signs of ''American-enthousiasm'' with a grain of salt :_)

[@andreaandrea6716]

​@@michaklaarenbeek7966 Great powers of perception at a young age!

[@richardgietzen4591]

As an American living in Europe and before retirement I was an electrician preforming servces, the compitition was do strong we had to preform or lose business or get fired, in Europe it is the opposite, in the rural areas there is usually only one vender and with the labor laws it's hard to fire bad workers.

[@richardgietzen4591]

Where was this??? Not where I come from

[@wordwoman9900]

As an autistic person, Dutch culture sounds like a dream come true. I hate it when people don't say what they mean.

[@cookiemonster3147]

Hello wordwoman, I also have autism. I understand what you mean, but believe me, the Dutch language can also be very confusing sometimes. We use many proverbs and sayings that cannot be taken literally.

[@kangyeog]

Came to NL to study, fell in love and adopted the straight forwardness because it is so refreshing. Went home to my country after graduation, and got into so many troubles with the straight forwardness. It affected my career at some point in time, and I don’t care. I like it. It makes life easier. Not everyone is mind reader. Say what you want, and mean what you say.

[@Ellinillard]

Basically, with Dutch bluntness, comes a healthy dose of arrogance « I don’t care if I offend you or not, I’ll say what I think no matter what. Don’t see why I should adapt to different cultures”. Also, having worked in Dutch companies for years, I noticed that these qualities are less appreciated when on the receiving end of a negative remark.

[@kangyeog]

@@Ellinillard Agree. It is not always comfortable when we are at the receiving end. Timing and the how normally helps a bit.

[@suicidalbanananana]

@@Ellinillard It all depends on the person and you actually touched upon that with your own description, there's a difference between being blunt and being direct just like how there's a difference between rude and direct. Long story short pretty much all Dutch people are direct but sadly some are _also_ rude/blunt. The issue is twofold, there are rude Dutch people thinking their rudeness is justified because of "Dutch directness" & there are foreign people thinking the _rude_ Dutch people are just typical case of "Dutch directness" (when from a Dutch persons point of view they would just be considered rude) I think the best way to deal with any form of "Dutch directness" is to just flip it back on us, be direct in the way that you respond, that way you will quickly find out of somebody is just direct or actually rude

[@Ellinillard]

@@suicidalbanananana you’re probably,right. I noticed that irony or sarcasm, unless very heavy, was not,the,proper way as it was often lost on the recipient.

[@rleerm]

Being Dutch, I guess I am even biased (arrogant?) that I often think that people from other countries and cultures would like to be more direct but feel 'restrained' to do so...😅 Until, for example, I visit Japan and within an hour it's me feeling very clumsy and rude...

[@maartenvandam344]

I used to teach English to Dutch grown ups, and one of the more challenging things was to get across how in English polite society words don't necessarily mean what the dictionary would suggest. For instance: When a Dutch person says something like:"Isn't that guy an idiot?", about someone you know and maybe like, an English person might respond with something like: "Oh, I wouldn't know about that." What that means is:"Change the subject, because you're embarrassing me." A Dutch person may well interpret that quite literally, as in:"Oh, he doesn't know, he needs more information", and proceed to explain further why said guy is an idiot. That kind of thing happens a lot to Dutch people who know the English language, but are less familiar with the culture.

[@TheSimArchitect]

This happens all the time to people in the autism spectrum too. Myself included. There's not enough learning. I like being in the Netherlands because communication can be much easier with directness. I'd be ok if the Dutch were even more direct. Being direct doesn't necessarily mean being rude. The latter involves things like disrespecting queues and trying to rip off others when trading, things I also found here in NL. Sorry 😬

[@maartenvandam344]

@The Sim Architect I can only apologise for the queue jumping and dishonest trading. I used to live in London, and could spot Dutch teenagers on a school trip. They would be the ones to instantly board the train as soon as the door opened, without letting people off first. Embarrassing.

[@TheSimArchitect]

@@maartenvandam344 Thanks! Yes, I notice we're sometimes kind of organized in the bus stop then people who came much later than us run to the door instead of letting people who were waiting for longer to get the best seats and enter first. Coming originally from Brazil, if people do that, I remember others would at least yell at them, if not getting physical if their behavior could be seen as intentionally cutting a line. Same with the grocery store, there's always someone trying to getting into the line from the middle instead of looking for the last person. I remember Sweden to be the opposite of that, you even have those devices with tags, you get your number and the computer calls you. People there are the most polite I have ever seen in my life. Besides that I like interacting with the Dutch very much. 🤗

[@carmenl163]

@SEEK THE TRUTH! As a true Moslim you are not to interfere with the religion of others. Your message is haram.

[@evanneofficial]

Love this story, so true ☺👌🏼

[@BradyPatterson]

As a >Canadian, my Oma and Opa emmigrated from the Netherlands after WW2. I never realized how much Dutch culture affected my life. We weren't passed on any of the direct culture, language or otherwise. Watching this makes so much sense to explain so many issues I've had over the years.

[@m1000-n8w]

Hopefully you dont call yourself Dutch though. Your grandparents are Dutch, but you are a Canadian

[@AltIng9154]

Dutch say Oma and Opa? Really?

[@nirvanawayne9503]

Yes. ​@@AltIng9154

[@azariacba]

@@m1000-n8w Oy, this is one of the issues with being an immigrant’s kid. You’re stuck between two cultures. You’re too European to be American/Canadian, and too American/Canadian to be European. When you have European parents, it’s inevitable that part of your personality will be European. I personally have always been befuddled by a lot of American attitudes - the indirectness, the obsessive insistence on “independence”, etc

[@m1000-n8w]

@@azariacba If you are born in America, and only speak English, then you are American.

[@RalfAnodin]

French here, I lived for 5 years in the Netherlands and I love the straightforwardness. I really noticed how useful it cam become in group settings while making a project with both Chinese and Dutch friends. While the Dutch would be very open about what they displeased, which really facilitated the project, while the Chinese did shut off more easily if they were unhappy with something, leading to what seemed unexpressed frustration, and arguments. I later understood that my Chinese did express their point of view as much as the Dutch, only in a much more subtle way, and it came out as rude to them that we would still insist and not understand that they had expressed a strong point of view, which was unclear to us and led them to feel disrespected. Communication really is something :^)

[@jamestk656]

Odd that I'd find an actual good tip in a random KZbin comment. I find myself as the client in business dealings often and I try to be more direct in what I like and don't like even though it goes against the grain of my personality to not hurt people's feelings. It's business after all and I should save that stuff for friends. As you mentioned, they might actually appreciate that it facilitates things along better (either that or it backfires and someone makes a Reddit post about me being an a**hole client to work with lol).

[@msemmahale4608]

Living in a Chinese culture for several years, I found Chinese ppl to be indirect communicators. In Chinese culture, it is a virtue to save face (for oneself and for others), and that requires being indirect and outright lying sometimes. When in Rome do as the Romans do AND don’t blame the host culture/country for their way of doing things. It’s just different, but not wrong if it fails to conform to your cultural norms. A person will be happier and with many more friendships by accommodating the local culture.

[@TommyTako]

yeah it's just different culture. Hi, I'm from Japan, higher context country than China. In Japan, too direct expressions are considered as the childish and the selfish behaviour, it threatens to break down and tear up the harmonic collective teams. Yeah it sucks, but the "politeness" sometimes (often) works me to avoid the useless conflicts in the human relations, workplaces. However, the internet and the IT make lower context communication nowadays even in Japan, I guess it's the nice trend.

[@Onomynn]

Isn't it great that you can now take a little bit of both cultures and apply it to your own way of living, I think that's the real education in travelling

[@erwanmarie8756]

As a French who had lived in London for 17 years and had been married to a Japanese woman for 10 years I've always considered the French to be direct by contrast, are the Dutch more direct than the French then?

[@Hrn250]

When a English or a American person says “ Interesting “ he/ she mostly don’t like it. When a Dutch person says “Interesting “ he /she really means it’s interesting . A big difference

[@goozerboozer8543]

What's the meaning of interesting in the vocabulary?

[@DenUitvreter]

Unless there is a special intonation to 'interesting'. Things like are typically obvious to a native speaker, but often too subtle for non native speakers.

[@Hrn250]

@@goozerboozer8543 in Dutch ‘Interesting’ means : worth taking into consideration, a closer look. That's positive. In English it means : Thanks for your opinion , but no. it’s a polite negative reaction in English. In Dutch the connotation is positive , in English is negative. If they mean the same as the Dutch , they say I” am (really) interested.”.

[@timpullen4941]

@@Hrn250 interesant is the Dutch word for interesting but the Dutch will take the real and correct meaning 'it holds interest to me.' The English version of interesting is really a sarcastic / ironic use of the word which should rather be 'peculiar' or 'strange'.

[@Plons0Nard]

When Spock says "interesting", he really means it. Could Spock be a Dutch Vulcan ? 😊👍🇳🇱

[@LMB925]

I think it's great to be direct. I'm an American and often hate indirect people and tend to be direct myself, but try to avoid being rude. I think there is a difference between being direct and rude. Direct is efficient and most without emotional intent. Rude is more like stating an opinion that wasn't asked, or adding unnecessary negativity to statements. Like when the guy mentioned he got a haircut and a coworker told him it looked better before. That was rude. His opinion wasn't asked,. It's self-centered to think it should matter as to another person's hair cut and to state an opinion as fact. It served no purpose as nothing could change. It's negative and it could make someone feel bad. On the other side, being direct without being rude regarding someone else's hair cut would be giving a statement like "I preferred it before" only when asked for the opinion. People shouldn't ask for opinions if they don't want an honest answer.

[@chinwelouisa1394]

Really good one 👍

[@rowanwax]

Yes!

[@mau345]

Exactly. Opinions that dont help.

[@darklittlepeople]

i agree about the haircut exemple, HOWEVER, it could have also been just playful teasing to break the ice and they could become more comfortable around each other. not everything in life should be dead serious, including in the workplace, where frankly most people tend to be bored out of their minds. i guess context of the relationship and personalities of people being involved can make a difference between rude/insensitive and playful teasing.

[@L1623VP]

I was going to make the same comment about the haircut remark. Where an opinion is provided when it wasn't previously asked for is definitely rude. As someone once said, "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."

[@_PJW_]

@1:20 : that was by no means direct. It was the Dutch standard dig at someone who just had a haircut. Another is "WHAT did you pay for that haircut? We would have done that for free!". Or one at my own expense once : "Not much of an improvement, is it?" That's typical Dutch banter, reserved for people they like.

[@Rodoriginal101]

Exactly that. This video also confused the Dutch directness with how the Dutch like to make jokes at others' expense. Their jokes are aimed to make you uncomfortable. At least they laugh in your face and not behind your back ;-)

[@_PJW_]

@@Rodoriginal101 True, 'at others' expense', but only in friendly manner and intention. Without the latter it would be toxic, which would backfire harshly on the jester. Part of the Dutch directness is that 'behind the back' is considered low and unacceptable behaviour. Also worth mentioning that the Belgians are masters at making jokes at Dutchies' expense. One of the best I know is the Belgian question 'Why does the Dutch flag have horizontal stripes?' The answer of course is 'So they can use it up to the flag pole'. Of course we Dutch blame the Belgians for being dumb. Since after one stripe the Belgian flag is no more.

[@diekje8728]

My mom’s Belgian and my dad Dutch. When you ask Belgians if they want another coffee they’ll take 5 mins to answer and will ask about 3x if it’s not a bother for you. A Dutch person will be “yes! Lekker!” All I need to hear to get the coffee machine going

[@AltIng9154]

Ha, ha... we rude Germans do the same. Very easy. Yes or no. 😊 In East Frisia we put a spoon into the cup when we got enough. 😊

[@GUITARTIME2024]

My belgian wife's family does that. Lol

[@MrsWilliamTheBloody]

bless the Belgians

[@AltIng9154]

@@MrsWilliamTheBloody Flemish obviously! 😉

[@kyliemcartney4316]

Are you max verstappen?

[@GuyGGormanandtheGMen]

I'm a Dutch citizen who immigrated from the U.S. six years ago. I love living here and I love the Dutch. I find them very friendly and sociable. I've made more friends here more quickly than I did in the States. I appreciate the ability of Dutch people to collaborate through honest communication. Criticisms don't feel as loaded since it is clear that they are meant to help improve the final product. At the same time I've noticed some related behaviors that I'm still getting used to. 1) I think Dutch people find it important to have an opinion and express it. I'm not sure why but I think the intent is that it shows one to be a thinking person. It gives one importance. 2) It seems to me that Dutch people sometimes hide behind the value of honesty. I hear opinions expressed that don't really add positive value to a situation--like the haircut example given in the video. As a musician, I've heard opinions expressed (not just toward me 😀) that are more hurtful than helpful. I'm not sure whether these are micro aggressions under the cover of "I'm just being honest",or whether the value having an opinion trumps the value for protecting people's feelings, which is maybe itself a form of micro agression: "my opinion of your haircut is more important than your opinion." Obviously Americans could learn from Dutch honesty. Maybe our feelings wouldn't be building up to the point of exploding as they have been in recent years. Maybe we wouldn't be talking at each other as opposed to talking to each other. And maybe if I were just a little bit more Dutch, my comments wouldn't have been quite so long 😀.

[@pmdbh]

As a Dutchie I can definitely confirm that a part of the Dutch people overindulge on their freedom of expressing ones opinion, with a certain lack of diplomacy and sense of necessity. A nice mantra I'd recommend for that: "Is it true? Is it nice? Is it necessary?" That said, the old-Amsterdam humor of my dear late neighbour: "Hey, got a haircut? When will they finish it?" never gets old.

[@porschedriverful]

Your first point is absolutely true. Education/knowledge is highly sought after by many Dutch. I think it is also needed. As we are not able to talk about "nothing" (what Dutch people consider not meanigfull, Dutch efficiency 😂) . This gives us actually something to talk about and bond about. Which is actually really inefficient I realise now. As learning takes a lot of time. For your second point I would say that there are quite a lot of Dutch people that are rude. But they are even more rude for people from outside of the Netherlands. A Dutch person would deal with someone like that with extreme directness and call them out on it. Really unpleasant for a Dutch person. Even more for other cultures. If I would talk in the way I have a verbal disagreement with a Dutch person to any of my international friends I would loose the international friend and gain more closeness with the Dutch person if we are able to solve it. That is one of the problematic Dutch characteristics. I'm a Dutch guy that works in England in an multinational setting and I'm quite dominant in character. But I feel like I'm always walking on eggs ( Dutch saying). I can't fully be myself with my international friends because of it.

[@DRnova2023]

I was born in Holland, 2 years old and my folks emigrated to Canada, am now retired, moved and living in The Netherlands. Yiour well-considered points, 1 and 2, are my observation too-- and I call them (famiy members) out on it -- much to their surprise =) which, when you think about it is very straight forward for a stereotypical Canadian [super apologetc and nice, eh =) ] but then: This must indicate that my Dutch roots are flourishing lol. No, your point is totally accurate. .ME (in response to their opinion)...I dont care what your honest opinion is; it's totally unrelated to the discussion at hand . Or, we are in a group setting and they blurt out their 'honesty' ME That (negative adjective) you used to describe someone is rude. Answer: "But it is true " ME: That is uncalled for and unnecessary: they have a name " Does not happen much anymore =)

[@m007mm]

1) Sharing opinions is growing together. It's helpful in my opinion. 2) Lots of people don't see as well as others. It's especially difficult to judge yourself. Do clothes or an haircut make you look silly or not? I'm a designer, I see what's pretty, but it's more difficult to see myself. Someone's opinion can help me clarify if I think the same or not. As long as someone isn't bullied into a certain hairstyle of course... Unless brainwashed feminized men walk around with girly woke hairstyles. They actually believe they look manly ^_^ They may be shamed, to wake the woke...

[@m007mm]

@@DRnova2023 Sad, you've been brainwashed...

[@gstar1084]

There is a pittfall for English/foreigners that take the message of these sort of videos too close to heart. Just because being direct isn't automatically rude, doesn't entail that any sort of rude behavior is accepted. Basic niceties like saying 'thank you' are normal (and have little to do with directness). And tone of voice matters a lot when delivering a negative message (something that is hard to hear if you aren't fluent in Dutch). There are also regional differences. The southern Netherlands is still direct (compared to England), but a bit less than the western part of the NL. Dutch speakers also use a couple of linguistic trics to soften a message, without realising it themselves. 'Kun je mij de boter geven/mag ik de boter (can you pass me te butter/may I have the butter) instead off the command: 'Geef mij de boter' (pass me the butter) for example. (And if you do use the commanding form, your tone of voice can be used to soften the harshness). And no matter how many times people say it: bumping into someone without a 'sorry' is still impolite.

[@wich1]

Direct and rude are simply two completely different things. Coming from another culture one may perceive directness as rudeness, but that is in the eye of the beholder, not in the actual words or actions, nor in the intent. That’s pretty much the whole point of this video; Dutch, direct yes, rude no.

[@annekekramer3835]

You should try the north east or eastern part of the country. Much more direct than the west :-)

[@mariussielcken]

We say 'zou je me de boter willen aangeven, als je blieft?'

[@joopspeth6483]

'Thank you' is direct. And polite.

[@joopspeth6483]

@@mariussielcken Dank je wel.

[@smallmj2886]

My Dutch in-laws, who have lived in Canada for decades, once said that Canadians are so polite that they are rude.

[@Sqmsh_Patricia]

Canadian here with Afrikaaner family (it seems they fit into the Dutch way of directness). Please give an example to help me understand better.

[@smallmj2886]

@@Sqmsh_Patricia They think that Canadians won't speak unpleasant truths because we are too afraid to offend. It may be especially true here in the Maritimes.

[@m.4523]

@@smallmj2886 As a Dutch person we also feel the same about Belgians. We consider it 'lying' or 'hypocritical' 😅We want to know where we stand and guessing if something is sincere everytime is just no fun.

[@bzzrt]

Being honest with others is the best way to be respectful and polite with them.

[@MyViiVa]

I also struggle - as a German person - about the non-direct communication in England. Super confusing, hiding around the bushes…

[@sandrah5405]

I think you mean "beating around the bush" :)

[@evastapaard2462]

I like most germans. they are quit the same as Frisians

[@vankuipland]

@@sandrah5405 Come on Sandra , give it to him straight, don’t pussyfoot around 😄

[@evastapaard2462]

@Reverend Boaz why are they the same?

[@evastapaard2462]

@Reverend Boaz I don know, that's why I ask you....and why not polish, Danes, Fins Swedisch etc....

[@CatieChapman]

One thing that I’ve noticed living in different countries (I am an American) is that the “lack” of social skills like picking up on subtext, body language, etc-aka, preferring direct communication, taking people at their word, expecting and acting upon transparency in conversations-is always seen as an ineptitude, and to a certain degree can be considered a social/developmental disorder in the states, whereas it could be the norm in other countries like the Netherlands, Germany, etc. I grew up in America feeling a bit alienated, but since moving to Europe (and of course it’s not a monolith, but speaking generally for sake of brevity) as an adult, it’s absolutely mind boggling when your culture shock is a positive experience, and you can fit in better in a culture that isn’t the one you grew up in.

[@marilynlucero9363]

I am happy it is a positive experience, I wish being more direct without beating around the bush was more normalized worldwide. It would make the world a better place overall considering you'll at least know what you're in for when you're transparant.

[@CatieChapman]

@@marilynlucero9363 there’s certainly norms and etiquette for each culture but it’s been really refreshing to be here and-I think in part because of English being a lot of peoples second or non native language-experience a level of clarity or communication. That language “barrier” works a bit to everyone’s advantage, as they want to get across exactly what they’re thinking instead of it being obscured by a kind of meta subtext. I’m also from the south so it’s like a literally whole new world lol

[@marilynlucero9363]

@@CatieChapman I've heard of the southern part of the US before, Sunbelt region, right?

[@CatieChapman]

@@marilynlucero9363 kinda, yeah! But that includes the southwest as well, which is a bit different. There’s a bit of a heritage thing in the southeast from Texas to Florida and up to as far as Maryland, depending on who you talk to. Particularly there’s just a way of talking that is so doublespeak that it took me a while to really get a handle of it. There’s a channel or video series here on YT called “sh*t southern women say” that I think is a huuuuge insight lol but also pretty funny

[@atom6_]

Isn't it kind of weird to fool yourself and the persons you are communicating with, to just sugarcoat, or in reality, just blatantly lie to ? Being "direct" means you don't have to remember the lies either... ;)

[@JS-bn5mz]

One thing is being direct… another thing is giving your opinion without being asked…

[@midique8731]

The Dutch also don't take offense when someone gives their opinion so they assume that the other party doesn't mind. We see it as helping the other person. If I'm doing something that someone else doesn't like, I gladly hear it. It's then up to me to decide whether I do something with that or not.

[@L1623VP]

@@midique8731 That's a VERY big assumption, and giving an opinion where it wasn't requested is not seen as helpful but intrusive and insulting in many cultures. As someone once said, "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." This is especially the case when it comes to someone's physical appearance or personal choices. In most other western countries the unspoken rule is "mind your own business."

[@nigeljansen1996]

You just did...

[@brucelansberg5485]

@@nigeljansen1996 Your comment just made my day :).

[@L1623VP]

@@brucelansberg5485 That response isn't rude at all. It is rude, however, to stick your nose into someone else's business and tell them how to conduct themselves or their life. It's saying to someone that you know better how to live their life than they do which, of course, you don't because you're not in their shoes. It comes off as ignorant and judgemental. No one likes a butt-insky.

[@bill8985]

As a US guy selling products to an important Dutch customer - I can say this directness was evident - and extremely helpful. When you messed up (occasionally inevitable, right?), they let you know. And If you convinced them you could fix it, they worked with you to solve the problem. Naturally, everybody has their own agenda, but with the Dutch, there was much less intrigue. Can't say the same for any other place or culture, including my own. I loved my time working with Dutch colleagues.

[@Leo-pd8ww]

If a person messes up and he gets to hear it later on from other people while at the time he was told everything is fine, then that's considered bad etiquette. It really is frowned upon and seen as disrespectful, deceitful and cowardly. It will also end up giving you a poor reputation among colleagues.

[@Fastbikkel]

" there was much less intrigue." That is exactly the description i was looking for, intrigue. Too many people go for the intrigue route and it's so tiring and destructive.

[@lotfibouhedjeur]

In my culture (North Africa) people never say what they mean or mean what they say. Being direct is perceived as rude. Getting straight to the point is considered offensive. Very often I find myself in situations where the parties involved talk about anything but the business at hand, sometimes for up to an hour 😱 and all the time I'm like: why are they doing this!? Guess I'm a little Dutch 😂

[@feliciacoffey6832]

Wow. That would drive me crazy. I live in Spain and I think some of that also goes on here.

[@lindalute]

In North Africa (and also Turkey) saying "no" is considered impolite while in the Netherlands saying "yes" when it should have been no is considered lying. Same as for the English to say polite things when they actually don't mean it is considered lying. I prefer the "say what you mean and mean what you say" because there can not be any misunderstandings. I hate it to be guessing what people really mean all the time. I prefer "in your face" to hypocrisy. I am Dutch but as has been mentioned in other comments not all people in the Netherlands are like that, there is a lot of difference between regions plus we live with a lot of different cultures. As our Queen Maxima once said (she is originally from Argentina) there is no such thing as typical Dutch culture or behaviour, we are all quite different. Maybe because the Netherlands has had a lot of immigration for centuries.

[@joopspeth6483]

We consider waisting people's time as rude.

[@SilentDecode]

"Being direct is perceived as rude. Getting straight to the point is considered offensive." This will drive me absolutely insane! I hate to not be direct. I don't want to waste time and energy, and have confusion about what we have been communicating about. Sure, let me be the offensive type, but at least I'm getting straight answers that way.

[@NextGenAge]

We preceive it as being dihonest or even deceptive.

[@Dani-it5sy]

As a Dutch man that has lived in Norway half his life I can say that the Dutch are direct to your face. While a Norwegian will never tell you what they really think of you to your face. But they will tell everyone behind your back. And they will all believe that person and draw conclusions while never asking your side of the story. I feel like the Dutch are far more honest and respectful. I hate living in Norway but I am stuck here because my kids live here. And I won't leave them. But as soon as they are grown up I am going to leave this bunch of back stabers and go home to honest trust worthy people.

[@Danim24]

I worked in an English Marina for 10 years, my most favorite customers were the Dutch. Excellent approach and straight forward, never had an issue. The worst were..... the Brits, and I'm British!

[@xxxx-qo9dh]

😂😂 that’s funny

[@jujubesification]

A clear example of directness is how the Dutch answer employee satisfaction surveys. At one point, I worked for the Dutch branch of a company that had offices in 33 countries. Every year, the Dutch management got huge problems from corporate as we scored job satisfaction & integrity (as in no corruption) on average about 2 points lower than all the other countries. They then had to explain every time this was just the Dutch way. But when there was a new owner, Dutch management used a new tactic: We got a seminar on how to answer these questions according to "international standards". So if it's good, it's amazing, if it's so so, it's the worst (not that other countries did that, but this made the Dutch employees accept this new way of filling it out). It made it clear to all of us that it was very silly. Most of us ended up scoring everything at the highest point, so we wouldn't have to deal afterwards with "solving the problem", which we felt was just a waste of time.

[@Redisia]

I had a question once "Why do you not feel this is a 10/10?" i had a 20 minute argument that "1. 10 means perfection and perfection does not exist. 2. The notion that you expect a 10 is just weird. You want me to rate it 10? Do you want to feel like we might as well stop trying to improve? If it where perfect there would be no need for any improvement in any way." but yes if someone asks me to rate how I would function even if things are good I would never go above 8. about 5-6 is acceptable.

[@YippingFox]

When you're doing just above average, 50% are doing it worse!

[@michaelsmith4904]

@@YippingFox Technically that's only true if you have a distribution that isn't skewed.

[@megapangolin1093]

Cant beat Dutch pragmatism. Very impressed by your approach to getting the job done.

[@ikkelimburg3552]

Reminds me (Dutch) of a ‘costumers experience survey’ they gave me at a car dealership during my one year in the USA. I rated the salesperson an eight (out of ten). A ‘well done’ in my book. I could tell he was disappointed so I asked. He tried to shrug me off but I asked again. And he whispered: ‘If we don’t get enough costumers rating us 10/10, we don’t qualify for a permanent contract’. I blurted out: ‘Yeezzz (already learnt that ‘Jezus’ would be quite offensive to most Americans) what would they do with someone rating 5/10? Execute them?’. I was just trying to make a joke trying to convey a sort of ‘I really feel sorry for you, you having to go along with this BS, I get it now’ vibe. You could hear a pin drop in that dealership, people looking at us. So I just took the survey paper back, wrote 10/10 and drove off with the speed of light 😂

[@murtalaabdussalam2527]

Having been living in the UK after spending so many years where people are direct to the point, I prefer the directness. Sometimes politeness is a veiled condescension. 😊

[@morpheusft7633]

I am sorry you feel that way..

[@kennyangel]

I can very much relate to that, as a German, who has lived in the UK. In the UK it is considered to be polite to not directly state your opinion but to politely introduce it. In Germany is is considered to be polite to be honest and not sugarcoat anything. Tell me the tings as they are and do not waste my time.

[@jrgentobies2510]

Ærlighed er et menneskeligt træk der er højt værdsat i Holland og Danmark. Så jeg tror det er indstøbt i befolkningen gennem religion over tid. Den direkte talemåde man finder i Nordeuropa er så afgjort et kvalitets mærke- vil jeg mene

[@ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500]

Seems like many ppl in Germany have become British without me knowing 😂😂😂😂

[@marilynlucero9363]

100% Agree.

[@cultfiction3865]

I need Germans in my life! My mother is English and she really beats around the bush and takes ages to get to the point. Sometimes I just say to her “look, cut the fluff and just get to the point” I like people to just make their point rather than dancing around the subject. Germans and Dutch sound like a dream to me

[@marilynlucero9363]

@@cultfiction3865 The dutch are notorious for this too (being to the point) and I love it.

[@grotegoedheid1063]

@1:12 about the haircut: this is one of the running jokes between colleagues. As a born Dutch I have heard this many, many times after having had my hair cut, but when other colleagues came back form a haircut they would hear it too. Another running joke: "Did you have your hair cut?" "Yes, it was about time / Yes, it grew too long / Yes, do you like it this way?" Answer: "OK, but when are they going to finish it?" I suppose the way this is said is one of the subtle nuances you only catch when being born Dutch, or having lived in the Netherlands for many years.

[@bmp72]

Or they ask whether you’ve been run over by a lawn mower

[@cluelessmango768]

​@@Dorenda Depends on who says it. From my experience, it's safe to assume anyone with whom you've got no bad blood intends it as a joke. And to be fair, nobody who doesn't like you will ask if you've gotten a haircut, or anything really.

[@Raizio]

@@Dorenda just harmless banter

[@andrekamphuis6560]

Jokes like this actually show that people are comfortable around each other. Mild sarcasm can be a sign of friendship. Speaking politely can indicate that you're not at that level just yet. Australians can relate, it seems.

[@Meifesto]

When you get it trimmed really short; "did you had a haircut?" "No, was mowing the law and something went wrong" Or, " Yes I did" "With what, a landmower?" Same style of jokes

[@stuartholme4457]

I really love the Netherlands and the Dutch. I live in the south in the US and it's like pulling teeth to get someone to say "no" to a question when that's their actual feelings about it. I think the north east in the US, New York city and Boston, the people are much more direct. It's very refreshing. Yes means yes, no means no, no coded language or silly BS.

[@hulkhatepunybanner]

*I was spoke to a north Floridian about a law that was discriminatory. He told me, **_"That's the law and people should abide by it."_* When I countered with how the law was discriminatory he said, _"But THAT'S the law."_ And that's when I realized that he knew it was discriminatory and that's how he preferred it. His answers simply kept him from admitting he was that way.

[@nura1627]

Dancing around can make lunch plans feel like diplomatic negotiations. I've taken to explaining fairly up front that I prefer to skip the back & forth niceties in offer/acceptance or in question/response. Please just take my words at face value and show me the same courtesy. ~Your fellow Southerner

[@nura1627]

​@@hulkhatepunybannerYea, it's only the law until it's not. That's why _elections._ It's a weak rationalization when one lacks an argument (or fears enunciating it).

[@TheBORKBOYS]

New York was founded by the Dutch, called New Amsterdam!! Explains a lot!!😉

[@yolandabrinkman2653]

I am a Dutch citizen living in the UK from the age of eleven and have had this conversation several years ago with my Dutch cousin and his American visitors. I explained that the subtleties of the English language and the use of the double negative, eg " I am not unsympathetic to their cause" leaves most foreigners confused. In contrast/addition, "The art of the sugar-coated pill" is not a Dutch attribute. So in conclusion in spite of my long relationship with the English language, I have been told people find me intimidating because I am direct.

[@Muppetkeeper]

I am British, but know a lot of Dutch people who are friends in Spain. I love the Dutch directness, it can take you by surprise at first, but it’s much better in the long run.

[@christopheralford5699]

I was in the Netherlands this year. For me, the people were absolutely great. In six days, I only encountered a single grump. Everyone else was warm, helpful and welcoming.

[@truusjenskens8485]

Yes it's true, i 'm Dutch and we just say what we think....it saves a lot of time and energy,..

[@timpullen4941]

En dit is veel beter.

[@nikkip8272]

I am not Dutch, but totally agree. Being direct could be much more effective. Sadly most people don't like it, for them it is arrogance.

[@Dennis0824]

I agree, but often I get the reaction, " je weet niet hoe je moet met mensen om gaan."

[@martini668]

Indeed geen gedoe

[@user-pe587ui90]

So agree! ❤ 🇳🇱

[@selkarogers7662]

Growing up in Canada in an area with a lot of Dutch, German and Swiss farmers I was very influenced by the families I spent time around. My mom was a single mom so I would spend lots of playdates on friends dairy farms. My family has UK origins but because of the families I spent a lot of time around I am the most direct in my family and it's something that sets me apart from others in my family. I never thought these families were rude and their influence definitely shaped me. I have strong boundaries, am not easily influenced and am very low in neuroticism. When I receive indirect communication I feel like I can't trust the person and that they're sort of weak willed and insecure. I like to know where I stand with people. I agree with the Dutch indirect communication feels dishonest. Out of my family I am also the most comfortable with nudity and dislike people sexualizing nakedness. I think it comes from valuing honesty.

[@vanDeudekom]

Haleluja,... you are Dutch!

[@briseboy]

I, too, am very low in neurons. Kindness is the most important variable.

[@ninaserier]

dating a dutch man as an indonesian woman who tends to communicate with feeling-oriented style is a struggle by itself at first. but, by time, i am getting used to his direct utterances , and it doesnt come up as rude at all to me. instead it helps me to have healthier relationship because the communication is very open and i dont think i can ask for better

[@mecharoo]

I started working in a Dutch organisation a few months ago. At the start of the year we had the new year's reception and some board member have a very long speech and a live broadcast from the HQ. I was just absorbing the whole thing in and thought to myself... This is a bit long, and then my senior colleague just said "this is too long and so boring" and i was like wow okay that's Dutch directness - I had the same feeling but would dare not say that 😅

[@orhangoren]

i worked and had friends with the people from both countries in a touristic city in Turkiye. The Dutch are the preferable ones both at worklife and social life. The English seem very approachable with their kindness at first but in time, you begin to realize an invisible wall between you and them. However, a Dutch can be a real asshole if things get complicated

[@timpullen4941]

Yes. I often feel pushback by the British culture.

[@dimrrider9133]

Yeah we are assholes lol

[@pbentvelzen4554]

😄

[@dimrrider9133]

@@pbentvelzen4554 dan lach je niet meer zielige vertoning

[@arjanvanraaij8440]

oh yes, if you fucked up just ask how WE can solve the problem.

[@henkvandenbergh1301]

Does this explain why, as a Dutchman working in the USA after three weeks on a new job I told management after a two-day team meeting "you are telling us (the whole team) to put in plenty of overtime when we are wasting our time in meetings like this?". 😁😁😁

[@m007mm]

Henk ♥ en Ingrid ♥

[@Shining-Star-]

So the Dutch are like the Scottish! Makes sense are they share the same genes too. Hello my fellow like minded Dutch friends! 🤩🤩

[@SungazerDNB]

Hey there you crazy Scot :)

[@jasonhaven7170]

They don't share the same genes, though

[@siwardwoudstra1751]

Calvinism is the common trait between the Scottish and the Dutch.

[@viderethevaccinatorfromhol7536]

No nonsense people

[@PeterLawton]

... Dutch are like the Scottish ... yes, but people can understand when the Dutch speak English. LOL! (just teasing a little -- I'm English, Scottish, Irish, French, Mutt, here ...)

[@benjaminvanderneut6826]

I spoke to a Englishman in Amsterdam and he wanted to learn more languages and felt bad they didnt learn it on school. I said to him he can still do it and dont need school for it. He became offended and start yelling to me. (Wanted to hear something else I think) . Ijust turned my head and went on with my day.

[@bjornr1120]

Grappig. 😂😂

[@k4keko]

Why would he be angry?

[@benjaminvanderneut6826]

@@k4keko to direct maybe..?

[@MrVegchel]

@@benjaminvanderneut6826…hmm vaag verhaal

[@jorikkuipers1451]

@@MrVegchel je moeder is vaag

[@jpdj2715]

There are levels of directness in the Netherlands. It differs between regions, or even between cities. While Dutch society camouflages social class differences, it really exists and regarding directness, there is a social class difference as well. Finally, we can be polite direct or rude direct and that's an important distinction.

[@pdterre5496]

As a swedish speaking Finn I find it very easy to communicate with the Dutch. You know where you have your counterpart and can take him on his word. I have bought farming machines for myself on two occasions and also noticed that there is a pride in having a local dialect.

[@megapangolin1093]

A Swedish speaking Finn, writing English- in which language did you speak to the Dutch? I am very impressed. Your English is better than many British people, especially the younger ones.

[@antsa-r9z]

@@megapangolin1093 Swedish is the 1st language in some smaller coastal towns in Finland. Many of those people (but not all) also speak fluent Finnish because it makes things easier. Everyone in Finland learns English in school so I guess they were speaking in English.

[@Harry_PP030]

​@@megapangolin1093 Most Dutch people speak english at a good level, so that would be the way to communicate with non-Dutch speakers mostly. So i bet he spoken english when he did business in the Netherlands. Both the Netherlands and the Nordics rank highly in speaking English.

[@pwp8737]

as a Canadian living in the USA I can relate. Americans are more direct than Canadians, which can sometimes come across as rude. After years of living here I've come to appreciate the bluntness and more direct speech of Americans. Thing that still shocks me is Americans habit of talking freely to strangers in public.

[@marshhen]

I love the way Americans speak to strangers. I find it so friendly and human. I am pretty fed up with the way people in my city pretend there is nobody around them. Great cities of the world are full of people who speak to strangers without hesitation. New York, London, Amsterdam, Mexico City are all places where I have had wonderful interactions and friendly exchanges with strangers in the same elevator, in a cafe or on the street. Paris, Montreal, Toronto are the opposite.

[@raziel1687]

Where in the US do you live? It really depends where you live.

[@karpabla]

I shocks me that is shocking to talk freely with a stranger in public ! 🤯

[@pwp8737]

@@karpabla God made the 8 corners in an elevator so Canadians have somewhere to stare at rather than talk.

[@mwoods8988]

Interesting! That Canadians don't talk to strangers in public blows my mind 🤯. I always figured that being polite (about which Canadians are famous) would go hand-in-hand with talking with strangers. In America, generally as one goes from the North to the South (as defined in the US Civil War), the more talkative strangers are, with Florida being an exception.

[@patrickfitzgerald2861]

My experience with both the Dutch and the Brits is that they both tend to be on the grumpy side. I blame it on their weather. 😎

[@gravinvankippenbout9266]

While the Germans, Swiss or Norwegians are always in a sunny mood ;-) I think this goes for pretty much all of northwestern Europe. I've been married to an American for 14 years, I can kinda understand where they are comming from. And in fairness, I do - sometimes - prefer the fake, plastic-fantastic American smile over some genuine and honest Dutch rudeness lol...

[@francesbernard2445]

Unless they are female while working around males in some occupations where women are expected to be nicer than men are in that kind of traditional role occupation like when being a secretary. Which some men there too would instead find only boring to be around.

[@basbouwman5139]

Dutch guy here, indeed unbearable weather.

[@malancy]

💯 true.

[@patrickfitzgerald2861]

@@basbouwman5139 I live in Tucson, and we've just experienced two straight days of unusually chilly rain . . . I'm already feeling grumpy! 😎

[@azulceleste2646]

That's why 'actions speak louder than words'. How can you trust someone if their words don't match their actions? Being polite is normal social behaviour, but lying is just another form of rudeness.

[@ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500]

Yes. Lieing and manipulating. Bullying behind your back and acting and expecting me being stupid enough not to notice... And being mad if i did...

[@ksc743]

There's such a thing as white lies. Some people are so good at it you won't even know they're lying. In the UK it's considered good manners. It's only when you never hear from the person again, or someone else gets the contract or job that you realise you were lied to. To me it's deception. Some people actually revel in it, because there's quite an art to it. They call it diplomacy and are very pleased with themselves when they see you've been taken in by the 'white lies' and bc it's done in such a way that you are the fool for believing them, there is nothing you can say about it later on.

[@videocritic]

Comment on the last sentence : "A Dutch person will expect an invite. " maybe but they will hardly ever invite you back ...

[@barryschalkwijk9388]

but if you get one, YOU'RE IN. You get to meet their familiy, their friend s and even CO-workers.

[@youtubefans510]

there is a difference between being direct and being direct to the extent of being rude or even insensitive or insulting , I am scottish from my mothers side living in Hoilland, scottish people are in my experience direct but rarely rude

[@eh1702]

I feel like Scotland has changed a lot in the last 30 years, I feel. It used to be very straightforward. Now it’s very influenced by English and American mass media - people have adopted a lot of management-speak.

[@ronnie9187]

Most cultures are indirect (living as a Dutch in Switzerland, I have connections with Swiss, but also with Germans and Italiens) but there are exceptions. People from Berlin area or from Israel for example tend to be also quit direct. Personally I like actually the different communication styles in Europe and learning about it is as interesting (and important) as learning a new language. For all international studies, this should be mandatory subject for students in my opinion.

[@Tpmc9fq]

True. I'm Israeli and can confirm. We are pretty direct 😅

[@SevenTheMisgiven]

If this is not a subject in international studies then I truly wonder what they are doing there. To be fair though, from a Dutch point of view many cultures also just don't know how to do business. There can be talk for months over something simple where other companies are on board much sooner and the work is a lot more effective. Germans are actually not direct at all from my experience. But then again in business you come across a lot of Germans that simply don't speak any English either. And then they get 1 guy on the phone who has the most fake practiced English and the conversation is still very painful. As if he is reading from a text book with perfect American accent and not much more.

[@tomo1168]

That is good to hear. I also live in Switzerland. I have asperger so I'm very straight forward. My coleagues are not always understanding my way. But with my colleagues from Berlin I never have a problem of understanding :) Maybe I should move to Berlin or to Holland.

[@ruled_by_pluto]

one side of my family is from holland and even growing up in the united states, this element of dutch culture is totally ingrained in me. i had no idea this was related to dutch culture until recently. i've always been very honest, direct, and clear, and i say what i mean and mean what i say. it's a part of my personality that always made me feel like i stood out and sometimes it has caused me to attract negative attention. still, i will not change because for me, it's part of my morals. anyway, even 3rd generation dutch immigrants to other countries can still have this personality. kind of amazing.

[@mariadamen7886]

Which of the 2 Hollands are they from. Or are you trying to tell us they are from the Netherlands?

[@ruled_by_pluto]

@@mariadamen7886 they’re from Rotterdam which is in South Holland but they had to leave when the Nazis took over. Why, does it matter? Dutch people I know say Holland, not the Netherlands

[@audibletapehiss3764]

It's an essential life tool to be able to deal with (and hopefully understand) people who are blunt and direct, as well as people who are guarded and cautious. Each "style" has its advantages, and I would hate to be stuck one way permanently. Each can be quite refreshing when you've had your fill of the other!

[@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n]

I love directness, but there is a point when someone could just keep their mouth shut instead of telling you their unsolicited opinion on your haircut or clothing choices, or things that don't affect them. I notice that some people who claim they're being 'direct' don't respect this line, and could do well to think before they speak to determine if what they are about to say is truly necessary and useful, or is an ego driven need to be heard

[@2Fast4Mellow]

Jerks can be found everywhere!

[@Warmolt48]

And the direct approach is to tell them to stop talking for a minute. As a Dutchy, I say it to my friends and they say it to me when it's to mucb or unhelpful, it's very effective

[@QuantumWalnut]

2:59 Editing error!

[@BagusWidyanto_HappyIn1997]

Dutch are direct, it's true. But thankfully, all of my Dutch friends are kind and generous. They might be blunt, but I notice that when they speak to Indonesian they tend to be more considerate.

[@viderethevaccinatorfromhol7536]

Our Indonesian population is so very mixed into the Dutch culture. My family in law is Indonesian. Very proud about their Indonesian roots but at the same time as Dutch as it can possibly be. My husband looks Asian but he's a real cheese head. They are also very direct. It's a cultural thing i guess. Grandma was more humble when she arrived in the 50's. It had to be a scary experience. My mother and father in law owns their place in our society and are both very outspoken. My husband is just as Dufch me while my roots go all the way back to 1338 and his only since the 1950s. It takes two generations to become just as direct.

[@DenUitvreter]

The British have about 100.000 more words just to beat around the bush with. I they want to waste eachother's time to just not be offended or keep someone in the dark about what you meant, that's fine with me, I don't mind cultures being different. But I believe there's a more unpleasant angle to it that is overlooked in this video. Britain is and has always been much more a class society and this politeness and mind reading games is typically something you have to raised with to master. So it's basically an upper class way to identify lower class people and exclude them, of course this trickled down, but upbringing is a particular advantage in this. Franch has this too, complicated social rules that you have to master to be seen as 'one of them'. It's always the calvinism cliché, and showing the Draper's guild painting, which ironically depicts two catholics, a mennonite, a remonstrant and a Dutch reformed, some of which might have been born well off, others who made a career from humble beginnings. The Netherlands has had upward social moblility for ages and it coud be very steep upward in partiularly the 1600's. So the directness of the lower classes, who can't afford to be polite when doing hard and dangerous work, ended up shaping the language just as much.

[@jasonhaven7170]

But that makes no sense as the French had multiple revolutions that decimated their upper class and they have better social mobility than both the UK and the Netherlands. Clearly, it's the middle class of France who have these weird social rules and their middle class is bigger than the UK's. The upper/middle class social rules of the UK are very different to the middle class social rules of France (there is no true upper class in France), many Brits see the French as rude and vice versa.

[@DenUitvreter]

@@jasonhaven7170 No, the French don't even have 250 years of denouncing the divine right of kings and declaring egalité, top down. The Dutch 450 years. The French might declare their revolution all important, the ideas behind it are much older and don't come from there. When there is officially no class, ordered top down, people tend to create class differences in informal and complicated ways, which are hard to get through. In France it's very much about which circles you're in and who you know, and being in a circle means you know how to navigate all the complicated rules of politeness, which make upward social mobility in practice hard.

[@jasonhaven7170]

​@@DenUitvreter You do realise the Dutch became a Kingdom before the French Revolution? And Stadtholders often tried to create absolutist kingdoms and the Belgians were discriminated against so much, they revolted and created their own country? And the Netherlands ended slavery decades after the UK and France? Not a socially mobile society, France is more egalitarian, and the Dutch have their own entrenched class system that is quite xenophobic. Look at your education system, if you don't pass certain tests at a very young age, you're prevented from going to university. In the UK, everybody follows the same education route that allows everyone to get into university easily if they want to or do an apprenticeship, and our exams are marked anonymously (apparently White teachers give Black children low marks for tests and assignments, yet when they do anonymous exams like our GCSEs and A Levels, they get high marks). This leads to many African and Asian British children going to university and a very upwardly mobile group of British Nigerians, Indians and Chinese that do very well. Then look at your Dutch North Africans and Caribbeans who have to do a bunch of tests that decide their entire future before they've even hit puberty, and you wonder why there's such a problem with integration. Get rid of your education system and follow an egalitarian education system that waits until you're 18 to decide your life, and ensure anonymity for exams and assignments. You're only looking at the White Dutch upper/middle-class people and saying that because they do well, the Netherlands is equal and socially mobile. It took your country until 2020 to get rid of Zwarte Piet who was a caricature of Black people which has hurt Black children in Dutch schools for decades. Meanwhile, British Africans and Asians are often getting AAA at A Level and going to good universities and becoming engineers, software developers, businesspeople, lawyers, doctors etc. and these second generation immigrants are quickly becoming a solidly upper-middle/middle class people and seeing themselves as British. They show that the UK is socially mobile for ethnic minorities who likely won't do as well in the Netherlands where they get their whole lives decided by a racist teacher giving them a bad mark in a test.

[@DenUitvreter]

@@jasonhaven7170 No. The most powerful stadtholder in the history of the Dutch Republic (yes, republic is a hint) conquered Britain on behalf of the Dutch Republic to give it's current constitutional parliamentary monarchy and bill of rights. If he wanted absolute rule over Britain he would have got it because those lords that he asked to invite him for propaganda reasons didn't hold any power and English soldiers weren't allowed near London. There was a bit of back and forth between meritocracy and heriditary positions in the Dutch Republic, and stadtholders wanted and eventually got heriditary back. But that's not to be confused with absolute role. It was still far more modern and meritocratic than Britain that was modernized by the Dutch. The British tend to claim they were first in a lot of things, but that's usually based on ignorance of what happened elsewhere or simply denial of what actually happened. Another example is your ignorance about the Dutch education system, which is meritocratic but neglected by our government that is dominated by Anglo-Saxon right wing thinking for two decades. The British are still so classist that they think they can adress that by getting as much children into traditional upper class education, the universities. The Netherlands had that already since WWII to a high degree, and to lower degrees it happened since the 1800's. Even in the 17th century all orphans were taught to read and write. The difference is that in the Netherlands we believed it made no sense to send academically slow kids to university. University was for the top 5% of best students, because science requires the best brains in an academic sense. Other children have other qualities, there's applied sciences, more practical further education, and working well with your hands and have at least some theoretical base was also fine. Just like in Germany crafts are respected. I'm in the 1% most highly educated, but I socialize with elektricians, carpenters, cooks, a pinstriper/rat rod painter who didn't finish any school and even a retired bouncer. Not to the same numbers as with 'my own kind', but it's not unusual at all. Of course background matters and there were mediocre rich kids being dragged through university and there were working class kids who had to come from a lower level at hight school and needed two years extra to make it to university, but the really smart kids always got through right away because it's meritocraatic. The kids from the richest side of my family didn't get anywhere near university, my access was never in doubt because I was good at studying. It's a meritocratic system with the advantage that children's time isn't wasted with stuff too hard or too easy for them. The problem is that in recent years is that background has become more important because anti-intelectual immigrant cultures dominate some schools and teachers often advise poor kids (not as poor as the British Lumpenproletariat of course) carefully, in fear of the child ending up with no diploma at all when aiming too high. You have hardly any Moroccans in your country, so you have no idea about Dutch integration problems. But still it's not such a mess as in England with it's religious riots. We have many very well integrated Moroccans, it's just that about half ot them want to stay in their own very religious and medieval seperate society. They exclude themselves, those who don't have no issue. How ignorant and arrogant you have to be to project the racism of British teachers onto the Dutch and claim you're not the backward racist country you are. You heard the bell ring but have no idea where the clapper hangs, as we would put in Dutch. You had minstrel shows on the BBC into the nineties, I saw it myself, only since a few years it shows mixed race couples on television, and overdoes it. You have those Brits here proudly claiming that in public transport people will stand up against someone using racial slurs. I beg your pardon, racial slurs in public transport? Maybe the Dutch would be too flabbergasted to stand up. Zwarte Piet is not a charicature of black people, and it's the British and American practice of blackface to denigrate black people that has made it problematic in a movement to globalize American and British race issues. But in the former colonies black people still celebrate it by painting themselves blacker, because it's a disguise as one specific fictional character. Don't act like you are anything but backward in comparison to the Dutch. When did you guys stop jailing and castrating gays? Wasn't there a row about black players in the national football team in the 80's? That's 50's for the Netherlands and it wasn't a row at all, on the contrary. Black pundits were only allowed to show up for the Africa cup until the 2010's. If you look for "first black..." in any category, it will not only be almost always the Dutch, Britain will show up to be behind many European countries. First black cabinet minister? 1903 for the Netherlands, please do consider where your country was on that subject back then. Because the Dutch have been leading the world in antiracism for so long and antiracism has been the self evident norm for so long, some might have gone complacent or insensitive to the latest anglo hype, yes that happens. Britain was a few decades earlier with abolition when the piss poor Netherlands after the Napoleontic plunder with a 3rd of Amsterdam on food help was slow freeing the not so many remaining slaves, the slave trade was abolished immediately after the Napoleontic occupation ended, first year of the new government. Britain traded ten times more slaves than the Netherlands while until about 1800 the Dutch were the biggest overall traders in the world. Actually the Dutch were the first to abolish slavery, they just didn't keep that up in the colonial era and their rivalry with Britain, France, Spain, Portugal who threatened the sheer existence of the free Dutch Republic. Until 1637 slaves on captured enemy ships were set free, and many ended up in the Dutch Republic where the mostly black men married Dutch women and even Rembrandt had black neighbours in the Jodenbreestraat. So Britain did transatlantic slavery for longer than the Dutch. Even more ignorance on the history front. The kingdom of the united Netherlands, including today's Belgium, was a British desire, which wanted a buffer monarchy to France. The plundered Netherlands was not in a position to pick a fight with Britain and restore the republic. The Belgians had been apart for about 250 years, the Dutch speaking Flemish were second class under French speaking Walloon rule, so the higher Walloon classes were unhappy with the Dutch in power, who were protestant too. The king of the Belgians was British pick too, and they gave him Congo FreeState with British shareholders. Whatever, the Dutch never liked the imperialists around them and threatening them and chose peace since with the conquest of Britain the existential threat was gone.

[@georgevansaksen8806]

Euh, Netherlands didn't become a Kingdom until 1816. Belgium was never part of the Dutch Republic, but was forced to be part of a new larger Netherlands at the Congress of Vienna. The reason was to have a bigger stronger country to the North of France, that would hopefully stabilize Europe a bit more. Well, that didn't work out as our common European history proved for the next 130 years 😞

[@johnhelms8226]

Being honest and direct is one thing, but this video makes it seem as though Dutch people just order each other around and insult each other’s appearance.

[@mh60648]

I have lived in a foreign country, and what I have learned is that there is no such thing as a literal translation because it is less about the actual words than it is about the culture behind it. For that same reason, it is so difficult to understand ancient cultures. You would have to have lived among them to truly understand their culture, before you can adequately interpret their writing. I am convinced that many mistake interpretations about past cultures are made simply by interpreting them from our modern culture.

[@Ikbeneengeit]

I think Dutch are not so much "direct" but more that they are "100% literal". And because this means expressing clearly your own problems and weaknesses, Dutch are also more trustworthy with the weaknesses of others. There's less kiniving.

[@MarijnvdSterre]

I think the haircut example shows otherwise. Saying to a co-worker you don't like the new haircut has nothing to do with how literal you are, since you can just not bring it up. We certainly are direct and though we take more things literal, 100% isn't right either. We are riddled with proverbs and sayings for one. And it is not like we don't exaggerate, minimize etc.

[@drunkensailor112]

@@MarijnvdSterre the haircut thing is clearly a joke.

[@MarijnvdSterre]

@@drunkensailor112 Why? Both done it myself as had heard it myself. Also, that concept would still stand even if it was a joke. Meaning saying stuff directly when you don't have to.

[@thefluzzer6345]

@@drunkensailor112 its not lol

[@Raizio]

@@thefluzzer6345 it really is

[@annaandre9131]

Honestly sometimes is rudness. There is a time to be honest and a time to be polite.

[@misottovoce]

Communication is so much more than words. Compare 'No, I don't think that is the best solution' with 'That's blo*dy awful'. Both say the same thing. Having said that, there ARE times a little white lie is necessary, but certainly not as a lifestyle.

[@Tiberiotertio]

Being direct and meaning what you say is totally normal greetings from Germany.

[@trancemadmaz]

Was gonna say. This video should apply to Germany and possibly Denmark

[@MisterPetrolhead]

Danke mein nachbar!

[@simonmeeds1886]

I find the Dutch direct in a good way... maybe like me (English). They have always been easy to work with in business and leisure. I was on an early image sharing web platform with a small community who got to know each other. There was a Dutch girl who got into all sorts of trouble with some (not all) of the Americans. There were two reasons for this 1) If she didn't like a photograph she would say so without sugar coating it 2) while her English was pretty good it is always difficult to gauge the strength of swear words (curse words) in another language, and she got that a bit wrong sometimes (though there happened to be an American in the group who got it wrong more often than she and he wasn't vilified). I appreciated her willingness to be straight when she didn't like something and I adopted a similar approach (it's my preference anyway) which didn't always gain me friends, but then the ones I really wanted as friends usually appreciated it.

[@bathcub6385]

I'm German and here in Germany people are as direct as the Dutch. If we need to bring a point across, we do it normally without dancing around the subject. Also when we write a (business) mail, we don't start by thanking them for the last meeting, for complimenting their work space or remarking on the latest vacation. We just say what needs to be addressed, and this earns us, too, tge reputation of being rude when in truth, we keep it down to business because elaborating on other things would be considered rude and a waste of time.

[@ryoukwjdbwopqmqpzl73819]

That's a cool business minded culture, so in that regard u would say Germans don't get offended easily as well? Compared to like brits

[@oev67]

well, I am Dutch and work for a German company (from Lörrach) the first 3 months the German management had to get use to us, after that they wanted there own people to be this direct as well because in that part of Germany they are NOT like us at all.

[@HermanWillems]

NO, i have been to Germany its not the same at all. In Germany you have hierarchy. Where you can't say everything to your boss or manager. This is not the case in Netherlands where i can say anything to the highest boss without him feeling attacked.

[@penguin32383]

I live in the Southern US, and my uncle married a Dutch lady. My family, especially the older members, were very put off by her. Even amongst Americans, US Southerners are known for being overly friendly, even to the point of being fake. Unfortunately, this caused so much tension between my family and my new aunt, that she moved away. My family still talks about how rude she was.

[@rdb4996]

Most Dutch people probably cannot stand the overly friendly people in southern US 😅

[@kankerbende]

I don't like overly friendly, makes me always wonder what they want from me !! Sometimes i go with mine wife to the beach. And at the beach we to a bar to drink something. And there is one girl that greet us with: sweet people ! En then I think always how do you know, you don't know us ??!!!! ( bud she is correct, whe are sweet !) Bud to friendly makes me nervous !!

[@sebastiaanl9876]

@@kankerbende je hebt wel weer leuke username, lekker direct to the point

[@bjornr1120]

Then it wil be best for youre family, never to visit the Netherlands lol. 🇳🇱😂

[@pushslice]

Poor lady was probably wondering why she always needed her heart blessed..

[@jonasv.c.8924]

As a native-Dutch speaker from Flanders (Belgium's Dutch-speaking Northern half), this video is particulary funny to watch, since Flemish people are almost as indirect as the English. In Flanders, "maybe" means "no", "I'll think about it" means "not in a million years I'm going to do this", "is there anyone at this party I can introduce you to?" means "I'm done talking to you so please go away" and "I'd be grateful if you could provide me with your input by close of business today, if at all possible" means "this is an important deadline so don't miss it". The fact that the Flemish and the Dutch share the same language makes the culture shock all the more bewildering. I'd be broke if I had to give a euro every time I'm baffled by a Dutch-person's directness. And it works the other way around too: when an English persons tells me "we should have dinner some time soon" I totally get that it's just a polite way to wrap up the conversation 😉

[@m007mm]

Dus eigenlijk zijn belgen helemaal niet zo vriendelijk maar eerder achterbaks? 😕

[@rkop737]

I am German and every time I am getting direct with Dutch people, they whine.

[@buninparadise9476]

The British are too polite to be honest The Dutch are too honest to be polite

[@floepiejane]

THAT about sums it up.

[@cookiemonster3147]

Better an impolite truth than a polite lie.

[@Ned-nw6ge]

I'm a Hollander living in "the South" (Brabant) and I can tell you that the directness/ bluntness and honesty is arguably something typically Hollandish. I can tell from my and my family's experience that neither the blunt humor nor the directness are very widely appreciated here (not everybody will get angry of course, but the general reaction I get is a "wow, did you really have to say it like that?" - look and/or comment), sometimes it's even misunderstood as a personal attack or insult. I've even seen people think that directness is in fact not a virtue of the Hollanders but rather a bad social skill (or a lack thereof). Personally I prefer the harsh truth over a comfortable lie, but I'd understand why people don't like the direct attitude.

[@SevenTheMisgiven]

A lot of Dutch people are also just dumb and there is little to say to what they have come up with. I noticed this especially in people from outside the Randstad actually. They say things that make you realize they are still 8 years old mentally when already 18+ years of age. It's just painful to explain it to them because there aren't even any simple words to use to say it to them. ;)

[@marcoprins4880]

For anyone confused by this comment, Holland is a smaller part of the Netherlands

[@Iamsanni]

And in the north and east...not just Holland. That's why Brabanders annoy me sometimes, they whisper and gossip more about people instead of saying things to your face. And their 'gezelligheid' is only for the group of people the know. Not all of them of course.

[@cultfiction3865]

I’m a bit confused. When you say that Hollanders are direct, what exactly do you mean?

[@lev2727]

Ignore those comments of Ned-nw6ge, what he/she is talking about has nothing to do with with directness, instead it's rooted in the rivalry between the North and South that has been going on for centuries. All Dutch people are direct, and they all want to stay direct, the don't like to beat around the bush, it's a simply a fact. Does it sometimes results in conflicts? Sure, but the same happens at times when people are not direct. Secondly, he/she needs to be more accurate. Saying "Hollander" in this case refers to the provinces of South- and North-Holland, and these are the two most densely populated provinces in the Netherlands, home to the three largest cities in the Netherlands. Ever been to Toronto in Canada? The Greater Toronto Area? Most people in the rest of Canada that live in more laid-back areas have a dislike GTA or Toronto. City people in general tend to be less friendly. The Netherlands is no exception. People from those 2 provinces tend to be more rude, but then mostly the ones from the major cities. The true northern part of the Netherlands, the west, and south, south-west, south-east is more laid-back, in general friendlier, less stressful, less opinionated, etc. The province Noord-Brabant (and not called "Brabant" as this uneducated person claims) is in the south. Brabant is a Belgian province, and the Dutch decided to add the word "Noord" (="north) a long time ago to "Brabant" in their country to avoid confusion. Noord-Brabant, like Maastricht, has a more Burgundian way of life, so when one of those city folks, especially from the Amsterdam area, visit Noord-Brabant and still want to behave like that unpleasant city person who looks down on other provinces, then they shouldn't be surprised to cause conflicts. Take for example the fans of AFC Ajax, the well known football club from Amsterdam; they always like to call the fans of PSV Eindhoven "farmers", they just like to talk down on people, to feel superior. The irony is that Eindhoven is fast becoming the Silicon Valley of Europe right now, not what I would call a place where farmers hang out. But that's how they are, they think they're superior in North-Holland, and to a less extend in South-Holland. Now one of them, in this case the person called "Ned-nw6ge", likes to play the victim role. Yeah, right, people in Noord-Brabant and Limburg know better.

[@ladyflimflam]

Personal comments don’t really add to sharing ideas and finding consensus. Telling someone their hair looked better before a haircut is rude because there is no reason to make the comment. We don’t have to say everything that goes through our brains and unsolicited personal comments are rude, not direct.

[@ImausrI]

It's called friendly banter amongst friends or Google colleagues.

[@brennanb1127]

Growing up in the US South, politeness was engrained in the social culture. I used to think people from the US East Coast or bigger cities were rude, but the older I get I’ve realized it was just directness. Traveling Europe helped too. I now see directness as more efficient and genuine and the Southern politeness as fake and confusing.

[@jazzmusicfan]

Finally someone admits it. As someone who’s been here in the southeast of the US, I’m tired of the fake niceness…where am I? The west coast? 😂

[@sdeepj]

I am from Boston, the Northeast is “not nice, but kind”, while the rest of the country is “nice, but not kind”. I never talked to my upstairs neighbor, but helped them carry a mattress up the stairs. Dropped it off in front of their door, and left.

[@philipfontaine740]

Historically, New Yorkers and Northerners in the US were more Dutch-egalitarian influenced, while the South had more of the British-class society (including slavery) influence

[@azariacba]

I have parents from a very direct country (Poland), and I lived in the South for a while. While I love a lot of things about the South, I honestly find it creepy how a Southerner might act really nice to you, then later on you hear through the grapevine that they don't like you and are talking smack about you behind their back.

[@robwestbrook1128]

If you want to understand what the South’s European influences are then read Thomas Sowell’s essays (Black Rednecks and White Liberals). It’s less of an English influence and more of a Scotch-Irish one, followed by Germans who found dealing with the former rather difficult - possibly because of some of the cultural differences called out here. It’s all a very fascinating subject.

[@mimistar1427]

I think the British confused being fake/non-transparent with politeness. I prefer honesty and transparency (of course delivered tactfully).

[@TheYaegerjeusmc]

I think you’re confusing being patient with being impatient. You can be polite and honest, while being patient and giving someone a bit of grace. Honestly, it sounds like most of these Dutch people are just a bunch of jerks, which I’m sure you would never describe yourself as.

[@MMMMatt]

Yeah people often confuse being polite with being two-faced, and 'telling it how it is' as a free pass to just be a complete jerk. Nuance, context, and not jumping to extremes seems to be lost on most nowadays.

[@MsVorpalBlade]

I have met some British who BS all the time and never say what they mean, and then are offended when you take them at their word and believe their "banter". Ugh

[@ArnGrow-z5n]

This way is the best comnection you can get, you feel more calmer

[@hoihallo2904]

If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.. Every Dutchman ever. Well most. 😁

[@bjornr1120]

Klopt als een bus.. 😉

[@francesbernard2445]

True that the Dutch always say what they mean when laying out their boundaries being defined by them. My grandfather Henry spoke low German after being born in 'Germany' inbetween the 2 world wars which some say used to be spoken most in what is called now Holland. May explains why he was so direct too. Which my mother Anne experienced as being very demanding of her while she was learning how to drive a tractor on their farm and when learning how to do ALL the work tasks that are involved in mixed farming too.

[@dylanvogler2165]

Nah low German has never been spoken in Holland. The provinces of North and South Holland never spoke a Low German dialect. Their dialects are Dutch dialects and thus descended from Lower Franconian. If by Holland you mean the Netherlands (which is like calling the UK, England), then Lower German (called Lower Saxon in the Netherlands since ww2 for obvious reasons), is indeed spoken in part of the country (not most). Spoken mostly in the east (in the achterhoek and Twente) as well as the province of Groningen. But no it is not spoken in most of the country and most people from the country don't understand Lower Saxon. On TV, when people speak in this dialect, it is subtitled.

[@StofStuiver]

Goes back far further than Calvijn. You should also wonder why Netherlands was fertile ground for this. Things dont just drop out of thin air. And that is related to NL being a land of water. It used to be swamps with dry patches, but most of NL subject to periods where even the dry patches were at risc of flooding. One might think to go somewhere, or build a house, etc, but there was risc everywhere. If people said something was more risc, you better listen. So communication had to be precise and clear. That remained so even untill last century. Its still valid, but bc of technology, weve managed to decrease risc seemingly. That doesnt mean the risc isnt still there. Its represented also in expressions like 'doe maar normaal dan doe je al gek genoeg', or 'je hoofd niet boven het maaiveld uitsteken'. If you thought you were smarter, and better and dared to be above the rest and didnt listen to common sense, nature would punish that behavior. And it would.

[@Bob-nd2mr]

Trouwde met een Noord-Hollander uit Alkmaar en we konden het goed met elkaar vinden, maar ze was zo direct als maar zijn kon, maar vond het niet leuk terug Werkte in de buurt van Den Helder en het hele polderland leek voor de kust te liggen omdat er zoveel water en zee was. Boten en zeeleven hebben DIRECTHEID nodig, precies zoals je zegt Als is PRIMA jonges

[@redbluemonday]

As a Dutchie I really had to get used to internationals adding a lot of ‘I think/I’m not sure’ in their speech. To me that sounds like you’re truly not sure about something, when in reality it’s usually to soften the blow of the real answer (which would be ‘no’)

[@rowanwax]

... and now I know why when I say I those things ppl jump to thinking I said no when I didn't 😂

[@envitech02]

I think it's not just the Dutch but also the Germans as well. But I admire their directness. It's good.

[@msemmahale4608]

Lol- in my interactions with Germans and with Americans of German origin, I have found that there are 2 ways to do things in this world: The wrong way and the German way.😂

[@ivanrevkov843]

I've lived in the Netherlands a year. One time I called my family doctor (huisart), I wanted an appointment to get an a referral.i described all the symptoms and the guy said that "I was lying ". I was at a loss, I just could ask "what do you mean? " then he proceeded by saying that my symptoms don't add up to the suspected disease. I guess that dutch people tend to be didactical, they presume that should educate you on how to live life and it can come out condescending, not all of course, but quite a big number of people I've met here.

[@rossmurray6849]

I have a similar "problem" being on the autism spectrum in Australia, which is in many similar Britain. It never occurs to me that I should not take what others say literally, or that others might not interpret what I say as I intend: strictly literally. It causes incredible problems at times but I can't help feeling that I'm the only one who is behaving rationally.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

Remind others that "give it to me straight" is the traditional Australian way.

[@dominique3649]

And thats why we in the netherlands are far ahead in care for people with autism. We are realy clear and direct with them. Even more than we normaly are becous we know they will take everything as you say it. So no bullshit around it. Just say what you want or need works perfect 😊

[@rossmurray6849]

@@dominique3649 Yes. "Just say what you want or need" and then I'll do what I can to make you happy. It really can be that simple.

[@ecojulie]

I am born and raised in America. As far as I know, I have zero Dutch ancestry. And after watching this video, I am convinced that Amsterdam is my true homeland! I have often thought I am from an alien planet where strangely, you say what you mean and mean what you say. I can't think of a simpler way to communicate, yet I have found it to be extremely uncommon throughout my life. It turns out I just belong in the Netherlands! I am definitely going to spend my next vacation there...having one direct conversation with another human being sounds more relaxing to me than a week on a tropical beach!

[@leandrog2785]

Maybe you're autistic

[@m007mm]

LoL, how was it???

[@itaholic902]

I think Max Verstappen is also a perfect example of Dutch directness. He says what he thinks (like about the Las Vegas "show" event), not caring what other people might think.

[@0h0h0h0]

I do think a language component is very important actually, specifically in translate-situations. For example, I often translate “Ik wil graag”, “I would (really) like to”, as “I want to…”. Just out of habit, because it’s more “direct”/logical translation. But it sounds way more rude in English than it is meant in Dutch. Or, to my friends, “do you want tea?” instead of “would you like some tea?”. I feel that, especially in international contexts, the Dutch are perceived much more rude because of nuances like this than they actually are. I hope this is considered in the research or whatever.

[@timpullen4941]

I am pretty bilingual and I find that British culture does not say what it means. There are little wrinkles of the nose or somewhere on the face that means, this person is being nice FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, but in the background this person means just the opposite. I swim on both sides of this cultural river and find the British way horrible.

[@kayelle8005]

If you’re interested in the cross communication issues I can highly recommend the book The Culture Map by Erin Myer.

[@rdb4996]

@@timpullen4941 Brits can be pretty rude while packaging their message nicely with please and thank you.

[@daniel.lopresti]

@@rdb4996 I'd say we've mastered the art of repackaging insults to sound innocuous at first but are dripping with sarcasm ;)

[@fabulouslysmall7937]

I agee with you xxx, that may actually be an important aspect and makes more sense with how I experience the Dutch myself (as a Dutch person) which is most in my experience are not that direct at all 😁

[@RadioNul]

You can be direct in the Netherlands about your opinion as long as it is one of the approved opinions accepted by society.

[@donwinnett6505]

Having spent time in The Netherlands and also having over twenty years involvement with Dutch people in Australia one thing is missing from this account. Indeed the Dutch generally say what they feel BUT I can assure you they do not like you speaking to them that way. In fact they will over react at the slightest criticism .

[@mischatech]

Living in the Netherlands, I appreciate the directness. You know where you stand without sugar-coating. It’s an efficient and transparent form of communication (but ofc no excuse for rudeness).

[@peterburry2014]

The term you're looking for is "sugar-coating"

[@mischatech]

@@peterburry2014 Dank je wel :) Haha coded too much 😊😛

[@erikvandoorn1674]

Whenever the subject of the cultural differences between Dutch and the British manners is brought up, I have to think of the time (about 30 years ago) I was camping on a campsite in Monmouth. In the evening, my (now) wife and I spent some time in the campsite canteen. We had 2 beers and came in contact with an English elderly couple. We had some nice chit-chat together. The bar however was closing. So we said goodbye to the couple and made ready to go to our tent. Then one of them asked us if we would care for a last beer in their caravan. We, being young, without much money to spend and above all also not wanting to be impolite with rejecting the offer, accepted it and went with them into their caravan to have that beer. Thing was, when we were drinking our beers in the rather small caravan, the atmosphere was not at all entertaining. We were clearly out of place and it all in all felt pretty awkward. Later I understood that it was what sometimes is it called an English invitation. It was more meant as a "well, goodnight, it was nice speaking to you" rather than a real invite to come into their caravan. We go almost every year on holiday in the UK for a few weeks. You tend to learn the read between the polite lines. In general I would however say that the Brits have better manners, are more polite and more helpful. I can tell dozens of stories about this. On the other hand, I also have had my share of rude and offensive encounters with British people. And the image of young British holiday makers isn't that positive either outside the UK. I think there are many pubs in Amsterdam that hate seeing another British stagparty entering the premises.

[@grewdpastor]

@@KevinKeunen78 No.

[@Lena.9]

@@KevinKeunen78They don’t ask you to ‘stay’ for dinner. They will tell you it’s dinner time, without any invitation. So, you know you have to leave and fix your own food. (Which you should have already know by the fact you didn’t get an invitation for dinner beforehand)

[@m007mm]

LoL Hilarious!