Before you say “I Do!”

[@camuyana]

You really threw it out of the park with this video Tony. I have been married for forty-two years and everything you said is exactly what happens when you get married. You did not sugarcoat it to please the ears and are really giving good advice. That's why people who are married are more capable of giving advice about marriage and relationship before marriage. This is a good one to watch over and over.

[@LA.4.LIFE.76]

I agree I loved this video! Wow! 42 years of marriage what a blessings! God is good! My grandparents were married 62 years they lived and left here happy!

[@camuyana]

@@LA.4.LIFE.76 I forgot to expand my comment. The 42-year old marriage will come to an end this year and it should have been ended many decades ago due to serial infidelity. I have learned to accept it because when there is no fixing with somebody who does not repent and change. Now it's time to move on. Please pray for me. Take care.

[@LA.4.LIFE.76]

@@camuyana I will the Most High be with you always! Psalms 107:20

[@camuyana]

@@LA.4.LIFE.76 thank you and may God bless you.

[@charellesexii6555]

Who you have kids with is the number 1 most important decision to make

[@carlissgarrett]

I have come to realize that who you marry is the second most important decision you will make in life. The first being your decision to follow Christ. Choose wisely!! Thank you for this video Tony Gaskins!!

[@joycewatt800]

@Carliss Amen! and Amen! I wholeheartedly agree.

[@18QueenHearts]

Indeed it is!!!!!!!

[@Banana-lk7tf]

Amen!!

[@OnlyQueenE]

Yessss amen!!

[@MsFitVegan]

Fact

[@deliteful1991]

The individuals who say “it’s just a piece of paper” God is not of them.

[@alishadennis7769]

👍💯 yep, they wanna to sin & play & drag others to stay at n sun with them for their in ego, cheating & sadly sexual excitement that's really risking their life, health & spiritual condition with God 🙏😅. Tomorrow is not promised especially in the current Pandemic of sudden death & great terrible illness & affects of financial downfall. Women must value our self higher & not give wifey blessing & goodies to a fool using you all for the women to be hurt & needing to use wisdom & not repeat letting a man pressure a woman ♀️ 🤗👠👠 into broken , sinful situations & follow God who wants only good 👍🙏💖 for us the right way & with the right man 👞♂️ ladies!!!

[@overcomerbtboj]

@@alishadennis7769 💯💯💯💯

[@purpleprincess8998]

Tony, PLEASE stop apologizing for your Southern accent, vernacular and the manner(s) in which you express yourself. People who are critical of you and cannot appreciate the teachings you bring to the table do NOT deserve access to your wisdom. Please NEVER CHANGE. My family has Southern roots, and that’s one of the main things that drew me to your channel. YOU ARE REAL, and you keep it 100. Thank you for that! Those ‘articulate’ critics can just leave as far as I’m concerned. I LOVE YOUR REALNESS. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR WIFE, and I thank GOD for you, your teachings, and your wisdom. KEEP BEING SOUTHERN/‘COUNTRY’ YOU. Your loyal fans love it, appreciate it and accept you for who you are!✅🙏🏽

[@keaharvey4068]

I couldn't have said it better myself .His country accent and venecular makes him unique it's his je ne sais quoi if you will .

[@optimist-heart]

100% Agree

[@millicentstollenwerck5239]

Not long ago I was telling my 92 year old grandma my dream wedding. I remembered she asked me "Do you want a wedding or do you want to be married?" She gave me something to think about.

[@hhhoneycomb]

this

[@toyauzzle5732]

Learning how someone grew up and how they were raised is so important!!!!!

[@marilynking527]

Wow this video is speaking to me. I literally just saw a post where someone else is getting divorced and I said to myself I call myself wanting to get married and God whispered don’t rush it don’t you want to stay married and then I clicked on here and saw this video!! Thank you for all wisdom.

[@alishadennis7769]

Yes love. God is telling you that you don't want a big mess in your young life from rushing in & being emotional 😭 & too thirsty to fulfill a dream in your heart ❤️🙏😅 & head with the wrong person or prematurely at the wrong time before you are both the mature people of purpose you are supposed to be to match up in a serious union of marriage !!! My younger relative is in a mess now for getting married to the wrong person & most her friends did too & they are divorced before reaching 30 years old & with kids they must do most or all the work & care for !!! Get your blessings walking in step with Gods wisdom & guidance who lives you, & wants the best for you & us if we just trust him have a good happy life & be matched up right & timely with Gods good approval & blessed right choice for ya!!! Happy 😁❤️🙏 Blessed New 🆕 Years darlin young lady!!! Your blessed stay blessed & God led & wise 🤔🦉❤️.

[@8adassa]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@abundantluxury8548]

Yes. Thank you and Thank God☺️🙏🏽.

[@CoCo-yv3hl]

I decided to call off the engagement & marriage. I’m just not willing to accept mediocrity or play second fiddle to his mother other family & friends. If I put myself on a pedestal then I need my mate to also. Ppl out here wanting to get married but are not prepared for a marriage 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@angiedee5124]

"Ruth and Boaz sound like they went to the courthouse."😂😂

[@Happinessis_12]

😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@NellyMilligan]

And that’s where I will be going as well

[@dorothymatthews6690]

Hi Tony. Sober but such sound wisdom! My daughter got married 13 years ago and did a destination wedding on a cruise ship in Miami. Only those who could and wanted to support her and my son in law showed up. It was about 30 people. The wedding and reception was absolutely beautiful and all in the same room and after the wedding we got off the ship and she and her husband sailed away for a 10 day Western Caribbean Cruise. The rest of us stayed over in Miami for a couple more days vacationing. They celebrated their 13th year anniversary in August 2019 and now have two beautiful children. This is how I'm going to do it. Only those that can afford to support my marriage will be there. As she said she was not going to spend 50 to 75 dollars a plate for 300 naysayers to give her a 25.00 wedding gift. Brilliant!

[@breannn]

I’m glad that you mentioned that marriage will not always be hot and steamy. A lot of men gets bored and chase a fantasy with other women. Over time beauty and handsomeness will fade. It’s take maturity to be married and committed.

[@overcomerbtboj]

Especially when the kids come along - you’ll be up all night with the kids not in bed with each other 😂

[@kibibishaw1194]

My Parents married at the YMCA wearing denim 😆 ... Year 35 they renewed their vows at a huge formal dream wedding I planned for them. They’ve been married 46 years now … gone ahead and RENEW your vows and give MRS. G her dream wedding, Tony. I promise y’all it will be super FUN! 😊✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[@beefaye6861]

"35 yrs"....GET DWN 💃 👏👏💃 💃

[@cherh]

Was just talking to my family about this. I told them I'm not having a wedding. We going to the courthouse. I'm not spending money to feed people to come celebrate our nuptials. To me that's dumb asl lol we using that money to travel and enjoy US! At our 10 year mark we will do a renewl of our wedding vows to celebrate how far we came as husband & wife. Everyone dress up come eat & drink with us! I want to be HAPPILY married not just married. 😘🥰💫

[@Dr.Elaine1]

You gotta pay attention to his or her temperament.” You gotta get real. You really want to vet this person’s background, upbringing, family. You have to be willing to carry their baggage. You’re taking your time. Y’all got to be willing, can y’all carry each other’s baggage. You are making decisions from a whole place, from a healthy place, from a healed place.” TG

[@damarish.torres145]

I believe in marriage it’s so sad how marriage is something very few people believe in.

[@alishadennis7769]

Sin & immediate self satisfaction & excitement especially sexually or to get some thing from the other person no matter how like sadly winning a game of getting over in people & telling buddies like a joke. Most people are not chosing righteousness nor holiness or ling term goodness faithfulness & trust & commitment the right way & in marriage God 🙏 bless them with. Cheating G player stuff is destructive & a losing way of life. Chose with Gods standards & guidance to be blessed & loved & protected & respected. Marriage is already a big serious union & lots of true personal work between two people who must have God in it for wisdom & help along the way !!!

[@camuyana]

I am in tears as I'm writing to you Tony. The reason is when I hear a man like you that wants to protect a woman and gives advice why you should be protecting yourself I get a sense of safety just by listening to you. There's no better place to be than with a man you feel loved and safe when in his presence.

[@alyssakalette]

It does give hope. And one thing that was told to me about being with a man who has a temper and was abusive to me was, if you don't have peace, it's not from God. Sounds like common sense right? I needed to hear and believe this. God did not die and rise, for us to be in bondage and living in fear, unprotected by an unhealthy man.

[@alyssakalette]

@@kaleema1987 Thank you for sharing that and being transparent. I love your honesty. The truth shall set us free 🙏🏼❤ I'm thankful you are not in that situation/relationship anymore. I am praying for God to bring us our husband He has for each of us who is truly saved, safe, protective, slow to anger, gentle yet strong, handsome (had to throw that in 😆) honest, faithful and a man of integrity. Let us prepare to be the wife God wants us to be as well!

[@alyssakalette]

@@kaleema1987 A to the men!!!! It's dangerous and gives me anxiety.. God is still helping with my PTSD

[@yourstruly1984]

Yes.. Tony gives me hope. If my husband isn't anything like Tony Gaskins I don't want him

[@lashondarochell7584]

@@alyssakalette Yes What a Beautiful sentiment I wholeheartedly agree I just broke up with my boyfriend he put my daughter and myself out on Christmas Eve because my daughter talked back to him Thank God I had my own place. Mind you I disciplined her but that wasn't good enough for him, I provided the Christmas dinner he cooked but I felt he wanted to leave the relationship because he kept saying he was not sure about me, I wished I would have left sooner but Thank God 🙏 I didn't marry him because if he had proposed before that happened with him putting us out I would have accepted it. Trying to heal and love on myself Blessings to you.

[@Thestateofreview]

I really like the idea of having ceremonies for weddings at the 5 to 10 year mark rather than initially when you get married. Most divorces happen before then and if you make it to 10 years you should certainly celebrate.

[@beefaye6861]

THIS IS GREAT ADVICE....I GOT MARRIED IN 8 MONTHS....TO A CHURCH MAN.....IT WAS THE WORSE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE....HE WAS A MONSTER 👹....GOD PROTECTED ME AND I GOT OUT ALIVE AFTER A YEAR....LESSON LEARNED....PLEASE LISTEN TO "TG" 🙏

[@CoCo-yv3hl]

🥰

[@jesusisking3722]

Yup, wolf in sheep clothing. Just because a men says they a Christan those not mean they are. Always gotta look at a personal fruit. Do they have the fruits of the spirit. Whatever is hidden will come to light.

[@bellag2864]

Did you see any red flags? I have a christian guy who was trying to rush me. It's making me uneasy

[@beefaye6861]

@@bellag2864 Yes...that was the red flag (rushing)....but he used religion to convince me....I should have used caution but we live n learn. 😳

[@staciadavis3714]

@@bellag2864 Please be careful!

[@alexisforteza_]

The time for over elaborate weddings is being exposed. The more elaborate weddings I’ve been too, sadly never lasted.

[@Markitta21]

Going on 12 years of marriage from the age of 19, I can attest this a TRUE word here! Marriage takes much work, patience, and care for the other.

[@xavia01]

"She salty" and he got a "cavity he don't know about" I'm over here cracking up!!!!! lmao You preaching, TG!!!!! lol

[@tedithomas6996]

Tony...you are so right!! My family always say a man will falsify his application to get you. I'm really checking those applications now!!

[@tamarag9981]

@@fah232 Wow. I don't respect any man that denies or hide their kids.

[@CoCo-yv3hl]

Facts found out so much stuff after we were together 🤦🏽‍♀️ the test & hidden agendas are endless put if they put that same energy in what’s right they might be decent

[@womenwhodate7643]

Many people break their own hearts by loving a fantasy not the person that stands before them. Great video again, you set a great example for all us creators and viewers through your channel 🥰

[@TrinekaClayton]

Marriage is God's way for us to experience His unconditional love in human form 💕

[@Joycelang2495]

Sisters y'all better go seek Jesus 🙏 stop being anxious learn from megan and Devon .Happy new year 🎉🎈🎈

[@kharyzma4u]

Tony knows what he's talking about, listen to him!He's married and in the Lord. There are some men who say that they want marriage and yet are listening to and quoting men in the dark who haven't had a successful marriage 😉 They're quick to criticize the men who are married giving out sound advice. Beware! Tony's advice is 💯

[@my7thoughts7exactly63]

“‘Men in the dark” 😂🙂🙂Agreed !

[@renita589]

You're so right Tony! If you TRULY love someone...having a "wedding" is not what's most important but it's the actual marriage that matters, wherever it may take place. My late husband & I had an intimate house ceremony with a few close relatives & friends. I was 18 and he was 21. My marriage lasted for 27 BLESSED years before he transitioned to be with the Lord. I'll be 51 this year and a widow for almost 6 yrs at this point. I feel I'm ready to entertain a relationship but so far, there's only been one person I've had conversations. It turns out that he was a 58 year old "grown boy" and I don't have time for that... at all.🙄Very discouraging but I know that what is meant for me will come...in God's timing! Anyway, I always thoroughly enjoy your videos! Keep them coming & stay Blessed!👑🙏🏽

[@abundantluxury8548]

You believe in being responsible 👑.

[@renita589]

@@abundantluxury8548 Absolutely! Thank you😊

[@bernadetterolle3286]

I know those type

[@renita589]

@@bernadetterolle3286 Those type are definitely out there but when you know your worth... you don't let them waste your time! I'm waiting for the 🤴🏾to match my 👸🏾!!!😊🙏🏽

[@mymakersdaughter6041]

I had a 56 year old grown boy I had to walk away from in 2020. I don’t have any interest whatsoever in entertaining that kind of nonsense. Not at ALL!!!

[@ky8691]

This is a serious conversation that needs to be had. When my husband approached me about marriage I knew that he was who God called me to be with however I still prayed about it. I am 26 years old and I will tell any woman that marriage is not about the dress or wedding. It's not about I'm tired of being lonely or I'm just ready to settle down. Marriage is about the covenant that you are making before God to love someone in a selfless way. If you truly aren't ready don't do it.

[@DeoneeEats]

BE OK WITH WALKING AWAY 🚶‍♀️ 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️

[@beefaye6861]

Im not studdn a wedding....my goal is a HEALTHY relationship....ppl crazy out here 😵

[@annettesolomon1347]

I'm ok walking away, he's shown me his true colors aftwr he moved me and daughter to his state, and then all the red flags came out. And I'm no longer going to marry him. He's shown me who he is under pressure ,his words did not match his actions when under pressure.

[@chrisharris2367]

i dont understand why men do that and flip the script when they marry or yal move away from family....sorry to hear; i'm going thru something similar

[@shenquejames7598]

My husband and I got married at the courthouse. We have been happily married 18yrs this year. We decided to do a 20yr vowel renewal.

[@DeoneeEats]

You Preaching, your wife was unhappy about the court house 🏠 but look 👁👁 at her now !! Y'all are so blessed and she sharp.....😁😁👊🏽👊🏽

[@CoachLove]

👍🏽That's another key, no one comes completely healed from the experiences of their past. By listening, you get the chance to pray for whether or not that's something you're designed to help them get through.

[@mymakersdaughter6041]

Truth!!!

[@lb1234ify]

Was married for 43 years and we got married by the Justice of the Peace.

[@LA-tg7lt]

“Psyco analyzing” “sounds good right there” 😩😂🙏🏾🙌🏾💪🏾👍🏾✨

[@misspeacelove7395]

It´s really problematic that the term "narcissism" is used all the time, because you end up seeing a narcissist everywhere and even start wondering if you´re one yourself for setting boundaries etc.

[@bellag2864]

So true! I was with a real narcissist for 20 years, that was hell but now that I escaped I'm afraid I'm seeing signs in everyone and even myself. I need more healing

[@malcolmwilcher7941]

Thank you for this video ‼️ I’m on a path of healing myself after my messed up with my girl.. I’m currently doing therapy and reading my Bible trying and going to reinvent myself… I got caught up in myself, I had a problem with communicating.. Because I absolutely hate yelling… other issues dealing with my pride and ego.. but that changes today.. I may not get my woman back.. but I’m striving to be a better person.. for Christ and myself‼️ therefore for this mistake will never happen again.. I’m subscribing to your page and going to watch more of your videos.. God Bless

[@eyt1985]

Congratulations on choosing YOU. You got this King 💪🏾

[@satoyaspencer2215]

That’s a great attitude to have. You will make it. God bless you✨

[@LittleMissSunshine721]

A courthouse wedding sounds more and more like the way to go. I’m getting older and when I meet my future husband, I am NOT going to want to wait a year and a half stressing over caterers and bridesmaids and all of the other stressful things that come with wedding planning. We can do all of that at the tenth year anniversary. ☺️💒💕

[@chantelelliott6641]

" They do not start peepin' in your household because your little raggedy marriage certificate came in the mail!" This took me outta here! lolll Great Video.

[@Victoria-qk3mu]

Right 😂😂😂

[@torriemcglory2149]

"Chemistry, Connection, Communication" that sounds like a GREAT course TG ;) Great vid as well!

[@chefcharlieskitchen533]

He said "how many roaches they had" w a straight face and this is my face🤣😭

[@andreahoward2683]

Basically y’all it’s best to be single FOREVER! Look at all these relationship gurus telling us not to do this, don’t do that, be with this kind of man, be with that kind of man, and women out number the men so where the heck we’re going to find a good man????? On top of them telling us to wait, heal, pray, fast, etc 😩😩 I can’t be the only one who feels like this.

[@laynonna]

I try to take breaks from listening to dating advice but it’s hard when I’m bored during work and don’t want to listen to current events. It will make you hopeless and confused so take what you hear very loosely.

[@indigohelps7715]

I’ve learned to let go of control. Instead of controlling every narrative in my life, just letting go and letting God and experience the moment while staying true to morals.

[@trulycay5714]

I'm 50 years old stuff has to make sense now I'm not investing in anything and don't get a return on my investment . I just say except the lord build your house I don't have time to waste at this age. you can recover quick from speed bumps but train wrecks take a long time to recover from.

[@alishadennis7769]

Amen, for wisdom & the blessings of trusting in the love & guidance of our father above!! Learning our life lessons ,& doing better to not repeat our foolishness & lose out on our true blessing for longer times of hurt & regret as well. Healing takes time. Being renewed takes time & wisdom. Your right about this.!!!! We always need to be in the place of asking God & getting ready to be a blessing & receiving from our all knowing God, our own blessing of a mate & husband, the life our life's path & purpose that's right for us !!! All with Gods 🙏 🙏 good & blessed right way & good timing also , as he readies us period. True wisdom you said it sis 🤣🙏 Happy blessed New Years 🎈🎉🎈🎈🎉 to ya!!

[@jasminesfamilypurpose1408]

You are my go to person when it comes to relationship advice. I honestly feel that we are hearing about narcissism because it’s apart of the times we are in. The Bible tells us we will be lovers of themselves.

[@chuletani6962]

What I’m starting to believe is that Therapy is good for having exploratory conversations that promote self reflection while Life Coaching helps when you’re ready to take action and would like suggestions for steps to take/an accountability partner. This is clinical mental health situations aside of course. Good knowledge as always, Brother Tony!

[@trulycay5714]

marriage is part of THE BLESSING HEAR ON EARTH . IN THE BEGINNING ITS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO LIVE ALONE.

[@mommymiaworld3168]

I fell asleep feeding my daughter while listening to this lastnight.. I woke up, & I told God, to bless the room! Im right back this morning!

[@thesimoneshow2608]

that couple, I was talking about them with a guy in my family. We agreed that that's not the type of guy she truly wants, he likes her more than she likes him. She may love him as a person, and for how good he seems to treat her, but it doesn't seem like she's in love with him. In conversation with men, they understand that, women always think I'm just hating or don't know what I'm talking about though, when I bring it up.

[@DasiaGrady]

Mrs. Gaskins spoiled lol she don’t believe in no budget 👑 i love this!! God bless you n your Tony 🙏🏼

[@angiedee5124]

"I know the assistant coach had some breath on him." 😂😂😂

[@irlandaise5631]

yeah I want to marry in my jeans and hoodies and with no friends..but then I dropped all my friends - I just want to sign the contract but in fact I prefer to be private . Thanks I want to hear this out!

[@DeoneeEats]

Haunting, Daunting, Taunting.......COME THRU HEREEEEEEEE !! YESSSSS

[@lovelyabi8647]

Don’t for get to send me my invitation to your wedding to Mrs. Gaskins, Mr. Gaskins. Lol! You guys are amazing!!

[@Prettyeyes531]

I am for marriage I hope one day I will meet the man god has for me. I'm speaking it into existence but when he comes in my direction we won't rush we will definitely really get to know each other first.

[@MsSmith-nb2yn]

I am hollerin off of you and the PH balance and the extra saltiness.🤣🤣🤣 Annnd, you said it all with a straight face.

[@alexisa5409]

When I tell you I am crying laughing at this! Like real tears…Tony just came outta nowhere with it and that’s what made it so funny!😂😂😩😩😭😭

[@ashley_audacious]

Ohh wow just started watching & im shocked Tony is extending the time to know when you want to marry from 2 year to 3 years 😮😮

[@overcomerbtboj]

I’m of the opinion that most young adults especially young men under 30 should not marry for several years 3-4 yrs of dating - young adults have plenty of time to vet their person and make the right decision- people past 35 have some life experience under their belt and have the capability of making wiser choices so 2-3 yrs for the over 35 crowd is a good time frame imo although age is no guarantee of wisdom- even older adults can be immature and foolish but for the most part we have it together than the young ones who just look at how great the sex is

[@Jasmyne444]

Tony, I thought it was just me who had the same theory on weddings! I’ve always told my family, I’m not having a wedding, I’m just going to the courthouse and and maybe throwing a small party in somebody’s backyard. 9 times out of 10, most of the people at your wedding do not really care for you as a person and only a handful of people know both of you that intimately. I’ve always thought the idea of wedding ceremonies (not marriage - I believe in the sanctity of marriage) were weird anyways. 50-200 people all staring and watching you profess your love to someone - just strange 🙃 And that is such a wise word to actually have a wedding ceremony after a previously established successful marriage! The world is not ready for this!!! Love it! ✨👏🏽

[@Prettyeyes531]

I definitely agree with you Tony that you don't want to rush into marriage. It's two things you have to make sure you choose wisely . First thing is who you have kids with. Secondly who you married. It's a lot of folks getting married to any body just to have a wedding to prove a point.

[@fayewearing581]

I just explained this to my sons. I made the mistake as a teenager (19) by marrying for the sake of my unborn child. I quickly learned the maturity levels between he & I. My parents were against it. His parents warned me that he wasn't ready. After 7months it ended. I was actually relieved. My eldest married young & repeated my past after 3yrs. My youngest THINKS a big wedding solidifies marriage. I will be sharing this with both of them as well as keeping notes for my future. Thanks for always being transparent & knowledgeable.

[@ulricka2131]

A big wedding solidifies marriage? ABSOLUTELY NOT. but it can leave the spouses in a lot of debt that they will be still paying even after getting a divorce. I pray your child understands marriage is for grown ups and whole people, not for babies. We do not want them to repeat our mistakes. I pray your adult children understand and have long and happy marriages🙏🏾

[@jesusisking3722]

Break generational curses.

[@mmommo-hx4dx]

his mom was so crazy that I thought she was blind and she was not! married for 34 years (together 37), he cheated from day 1 and never stopped. Shocking was you say Tony, blows me away how you know everything. you hear me? everything! point blank period.

[@trulycay5714]

marriage/covenant I'm amazed at how I see many couples been together for 10 years or more so I say if you have invested that many years why not. it shouldn't take years and years

[@gwanajones4176]

My family believes in handouts too

[@gwanajones4176]

If you are doing good, they think you should help them.

[@practicalteachingchronicle6631]

I just did a video on "Before I Do" You better know it. And you better make sure you fast and prayer and wait on God for the answer. Don't be hasty people!

[@ssonkogarvey]

Very good video Mr Gaskins. Not something talked about a lot as the majority of people (including myself) can be distracted with the fantasy of marriage and not the reality of marriage. This is food for thought before saying "I Do". I'm looking forward to more videos like these.

[@expertonmyself]

"y'all stay out the comments with the medical diagnosis." i fell out. LOL

[@KrystleLaughter]

This teaching is awesome. It could literally be part of a course.

[@peaches2977]

I just wanted to say thank you Tony. My spiritual life and marriage has changed for the better by your videos. Everything you have said in your videos has been on point. You have help me SEE.

[@s_gal9900]

Same 🙏🏻

[@LA.4.LIFE.76]

Mr. Gaskins please get a shirt call “ LISTEN TO ME” lol! I be rolling when you say that 🤣🤣🤣

[@frankieallen4900]

Great video. I've always said people can't hide for a year. If you pay attention, it'll show up. It may be subtle but it's there. Big, expensive weddings are a total waste of money. It's for show and it's stressful. I too am for the courthouse. The marriage is the most important.

[@denisemyers733]

Yesss this spoke volumes. On so many levels just listening and observing before you get married will save you a life time of unnecessary heart aches and pain. And years of time you can’t get back. Thank you for educating us to new knowledge.

[@amberstephens1287]

What you do for a living, who you marry and have children with, are the three most important decisions that can affect your quality of life. Be selective and be smart and most of all grow yourself.

[@trulycay5714]

I didn't let my kids dad come and stay it's been 15 years my son is 15 I knew by the spirit I had gave birth to lust.

[@ana______6567]

Omg so true about therapist not giving any feedback, when you ask them what they think they don't give you their opinion or the advice what they would do...it's so weird, it's true you can't relate to such person or trust them with your deepest problems, like how can you when you have no clue what they think of what you just said....

[@mmills860]

Tony is my big brother in my mind🙏🏾🤞🏾

[@michaela7115]

35:31 Yes!! We are so backwards. Makes so much sense. Successful marriage and then the wedding.

[@judithjackson1086]

Let me get my notebook...I'm engaged

[@iamlovetrishann76]

Narcissism to me just boils down to the evil doers whom hearts are far from God! Spiritual war not against flesh and blood.

[@practicalteachingchronicle6631]

Process over Prefection. There will be 100%. Prefect. You have to do the work. Marriage is a ministry. And you have to be call for it.

[@tarahbruno3793]

This needed to be said. Instagram and tic tock is the reason why Many people think a million dollar wedding is the marriage. Funny thing is those couples usually have the most issues. I’ve seen it first hand.

[@cindeed4422]

I always say people marry the wedding and not the marriage. That’s why over 50% still end in divorce. People don’t want to put in the work, but they sure want to look good!

[@ya.baldheadedmama97]

I agree, but there’s one special case I’ve seen of a woman I know in particular who married her husband secretly because everyone in the family warned her about this man and she went through with it anyway because she was getting to a certain age.

[@shutit4024]

@@ya.baldheadedmama97 those can be bad too if it’s with the wrong man

[@ya.baldheadedmama97]

@@shutit4024 Your profile picture got me cracking up 😂

[@overcomerbtboj]

Absolutely- we as women have got to stop being so giddy over putting a wedding dress and gold band without first developing self- love and an identity apart from having a boo

[@elicore.biz81]

Excellent video, thank you so much!!! We all need to stop having the wedding before the marriage and we definitely should do the work in marriage, to earn the right to have the huge all out wedding ceremony 10yrs or so later....

[@Everybodyisimportant]

Had no idea you were so hilarious …You’re speaking my language Tony & I’m a huge believer in love. I know my upbringing wasn’t the best and I would definitely want to know how his was. Therapy for me is a must to uncover things I want to overcome so I would need for him to be ok with this as well as attend sessions with me when need be. I’ve never been married but when I do, it’s the ONLY one I will have. Weddings are beautiful indeed but if it’s not financial feasible then that’s just what it is. I would rather something extremely intimate or courthouse as you say…. it really wouldn’t matter as long as I have my forever husband & we can be the best we can be for each other. 🙏🏽❤️

[@Banana-lk7tf]

Amen! I got married in 2020, and let me tell ya, the restrictions were a blessing when it came to our wedding. We could only have 10 people at the service including, the pastor who officiated. So the ceremony was very intimate.

[@a1xluv]

Amen! God ordained! He has to be the center focal point of the marriage!!!!! Too many ppl are choosing based on the same precepts they did at 20 in their 40ties and 50ties and wonder why they have the same outcome!

[@theservinggirl]

Love helps you heal ❤️

[@pamelacallahan6156]

Good good advice love it now that I'm older on the marriage going to the court house

[@toriyt2714]

Definitely “He stole everything from me” but overall just your amazing personality ✨.

[@janieh3950]

🤣🤣🤣 extra salty 🤪🤣🤣🤣 not a cavity Jesus 🤣🤣🤣. Bro Tony that darn comedian character always surfices. Whew! I was doing good and done got to this end and laughing my butt off.

[@valenciawalker6498]

So true. ❤🙏🏽❤ I was going to school for MS Clinical Mental Health Counseling-Sub Abuse and Addictions. I switched Major to MS Psychology this year. Counselors have more of a holistic approach we don't tell clients advice we help them make their own decision by utilizing counseling techniques Meso skills and Solar skills. we were discouraged to share we went through this or to say do this helped me. only share if it will be beneficial to client treatment, not the counselor or therapist. I rather have a courthouse wedding when it comes to I talked to my boyfriend about this. this is fantastic advise.

[@juliehernandez80]

This was awesome lol. When you talked about men who talk that, “Marriage is just a piece of paper” - immediately thought of Johnny Depp. He said those exact words in an interview. That is why I couldn’t fully sympathize for the poor man. They want these young hot spicy crazy things, well … there ya go.

[@sharonbenjamin9310]

PSA TO ANYONE WHO WANTS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP: Remember that noone can where a mask 🎭 forever so just be patient to observe a person's consistent behavior patterns over time which will reveal their true character!

[@hindsight-coach9259]

Happy Wednesday, happy new year all 🙌🏼🥳 God bless your 2022!

[@alishadennis7769]

Wow 😳 Tony, you are right in point. I tried to tell a younger relative of mine to slow down about the man she married too soon after coming out if a bad relationship & she rushed in any way , & now she has the effects of the problems that was a red flag when they were dating. I told her be very very careful of what you ask for & fall for when you haven't vetted them & God 🙏😅 didn't tell yes to first!!! Now with the problems they have that frustrated her deeply, I told her she must fast & pray 🤔🙏 to affect this marriage. I told her make a life, focus, her purpose work inside of the marriage & not just focus in his issues so she can get control if her life even while married !!! Thanks Tony you help so much with telling the truth about what's happening with men & women & relationships & the wisdom we need to apply to our thinking plans & life with Gods guidance & when he approves of our decisions & actions before we make final actions!!!

[@evaqueen7067]

Mr Gaskins... God bless you! This video right here is so timely. Thank you for being a huge blessing to me and many others.

[@prjdghyt]

I've been contemplating about this for weeks now so I'm glad this video came up! I've known my bf for 4 months before we got into a relationship so it's still new but we're best friends and talk a lot everyday. I have an idea about his temperament, upbringing, struggles, etc. We read a book together by Gottman. I ask him a lot of questions about the future. We both want the same things and think the same way. But I know we still have to get to know each other better. I'm very much happy with him. Our relationship is healthy. I thought I'm the only one who doesn't want a wedding. I think weddings are corny. 😅 I wanna skip it and just sign the contract. If i have a wedding I want it to be just family. We're both from big families so maybe less than 30 people. I don't want a big wedding because what's important for me is being together. We're in a long distance relationship so moving with him to his country is another hardship we have to go through with the visas and everything but I'm blessed to have someone who has plans and is working towards it everyday. Also, my bf looks like a greek statue. 😭 That's funny when you mentioned that. I'm very much realistic about relationships and I know things won't always be good. Our friendship helps us see how we handle hurt and frustrations and I'm glad we're best friends because it made our communication easier. We discussed our goals before becoming official. So right from the beginning we are dating with marriage in mind. I think weddings are worth celebrating only for renewal of vows. As an introvert, I don't like formal social events and may not feel comfortable in my own wedding 🤣 so I don't wish to have a big wedding. 🤷 I prefer we spend the money on a house and traveling because we'll already be spending a lot on visas and him visiting me. So it will take us a few years before getting married. And it's ok as long as i see him being consistent. The main thing is we keep God as part of our relationship.

[@jesusisking3722]

You both should take time to fast and pray on if God has intended for the two of you to come together.

[@bellag2864]

Be careful. Being together in person is totally different. Have you met in person yet? Have you seen his face on video?

[@brendagray2334]

Lol 😂!! I love this guy, I learn and laugh. This is an awesome teaching. I am 62 and this is amazing. Congratulations on all God has called you to do.🙏🏾

[@lyfesaquarium]

LOL@ MINTIMUM OMG THIS MAN REALLY BE MAKING MY DAY. He speaking the truth yall

[@crystalcrump523]

Tony I love your videos!! I love what you said in this video because it’s important to know what kind of person you are dealing with because if I knew what I know today I wouldn’t be single today but I promised myself I would never get married again unless it was from God!

[@indea7]

17:38 “how many roaches they had” 😶🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mr. Tony, you need to stop!! This video is really helpful though, thank you as always. Do you think you could do a video on specific vetting questions?

[@tiasinclair9741]

I Do Is to be taken serious and and lot of work and time that is worth it, I Do is for grown up people , person can talk marriage but a not be about marriage , I do for the truth, love unconditionally Eternally. like try that, hear how they live how the are and who are they ,the back ground history Everything