Being Needy Vs Confidently Expressing Desire - A Crucial Distinction

Are you constantly worried about being too needy when dating?
Most men and women try hard to avoid looking too desperate or needy with their partners, and this often leads to wants and needs not being met.
Needy behaviour is often seen as being repulsive by both men and women, so naturally, this is something we try not to do when attracting a mate.
If you are asking a girl out on a date, or asking a man to spend more time with you, you need to be able to do it in a way that feels confident and not needy, but what's the distinction?
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School Of Attraction
Dating And Relationship Coach
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[@thegritsch]

As David Tian put it so aptly: How do you stop being needy? By meeting your needs! And the best and most sustainable way to meet your needs is within and through yourself. This I find to be the most practical solution, but also the one that requires the most emotional work and becoming more self aware in general. Definitely not an easy process.

[@Roifromfinland]

I think it's important to mention that a partner is not meant to satisfy all our needs. This is often mislead and creates unrealistic expectations on people. Our partners are with us to support us in aspects of life we consider important, but "fulfilling all our needs" is a heavy burden to bare.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Yes 100% - this was such a hard lesson for me to come to terms with as a younger man.

[@Don_Dries]

whoow this video and more specific: "How can i make her like me?" VS "How can i be more likeable to women?" opened my eyes so much

[@evilmonkgaming9825]

Leading by examples is the best way of leading. Great work. 😎

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Thanks 🙂

[@UGR310]

Talking points are always well put together, keep it up man!

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Appreciate it!

[@missanamarie]

This is great. Definitely takes practice.

[@1x93cm]

[@improover113]

Boom

[@wesley25101]

Very good information, thanks for the video.

[@hoiabaciufan]

I like all that jazz. Classy.

[@phillip6083]

Wants are selfish.needs are about self preservation.i need air, water, food, shelter and companionship. Yes...humans need companionship to become emotionally complete.not necessarily romantic companionship. We only think we need love.but we all have the most basic need to feel needed and/or wanted.

[@williamnunn8847]

the PUA stuff has got to Oz? The direct approach does not get far in the UK, however i'm like this, it's aligned with my character. I thought this stuff is not needed too much down under, due to the cultural body positive nature.

[@Straga_Severa]

It's easy to "have a gameplan in case you don't receive what you want", if you know you can easily get it from a different source. If you know that by spending a month you can find a girl to date (not a perfect girl, not even a "better" girl than your partner, just A girl), then you will definitely be more open to expressing your wishes without being needy. If, on the other hand, you know that it will take a long and painful process (7 months of almost an everyday work to get A girl - not a girl that meets my standards, just a girl that is not repulsed by me)...

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

So the answer is to look deeper - what do you NEED from that girl emotionally, what does she represent? a) Sexual gratification? b) companionship c) Validation d) safety e) feeling normal All of these things could be obtained or satisfied in other ways outside of picking up a woman - This is more what I'm getting at. The emotional need is not 'pick up a woman' - It's something else, and you have ot have a game plan to not NEED that thing so powerfully if she wont' give it to you.

[@Straga_Severa]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, the first thing that you listed cannot be obtained in other way ;-) (Well, technically, it can be done by paying for sex, but you know what I mean). And it's a pattern, not an outlier - the needs are more nuanced than your list. Not "companionship", but "companionship of a woman" - I can get a male friend easily, but there are very few women who share my interests. Not "validation", but "validation of a woman" - again, validation of other men is easy. And so on.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Here's the thing though.. Most men DONT get the majority of their emotional needs met UNLESS they're dating a woman - they seek women as a way to satisfy a huge array of emotional needs. That's why they struggle - when they start getting more and more of their needs satisified elsewhere, they start doing better with women. That's the core message here.

[@Straga_Severa]

@@SchoolOfAttraction You are operating on the assumption that the needs are interchangeable - that you can easily substitute validation from a woman to validation from a male friend, etc. I would love to see the reason for this assumption, because from my experience, it's absolutely not - in the best case, the substitution can suppress it for a bit, like drinking water can temporarely suppress the hunger.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

I think you misunderstand - What I'm getting at is that there's a big RANGE of emotional needs - and we look to women for all of them becuase men don't have close connection wtih each other... Some NEEDS only women can truly satisfy - But even if you just got the other 80-90% of your emotional needs sorted elsewhere, you'd be a lot less needy.

[@ifeelhalfnaked484]

neediness usually come from the weak vibe. I remember i scared some girls off when i opened them with wishy washy voice, girls felt threat when you do that, instead just accept being rejected and open yourself up mentally

[@ScandinavianPrepper]

Why do your videos get such a small number of views despite its valuable information?

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

I really don't know either bud :)