Why Would Women Want To Date You? Critical Mindset Shift!

When you meet a woman, why should you expect her to want to go on a date with you?
This is a confronting question that many men fail to ask themselves.
Today I'm going to be discussing the dating mindset that guys need to have before trying to learn to attract women. Because sometimes the best strategy is to work on yourself as a man first before trying to pick up girls.
This is the dating advice that more men need to be hearing because there can be a lot of failures that men experience needlessly because they're focussed on the wrong attraction strategies.
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School Of Attraction
Dating And Relationship Coach
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Facebook: / schoolofattraction
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[@HerbertLandei]

Since I started working on myself, I attracted about five times as many women as before. Before the number was zero, now it's already five times zero.

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

Haha.. Me too. Two idiots, one thought.

[@MrAlexanderLang]

WoW that's quite a success, i'm amazed by your modesty, i would have said 1000 times zero.

[@Miracle528]

If you want a quality woman, BE a quality man! Isn't it great that our problems can be solved by ourselves? Lovely video!

[@ant0n01]

I agree totally. Women are attracted to confident and emotionally strong men. With this confidence your sense of humour and playfulness will start to shine. The second you start to lose your confidence 9 out 10 women will ditch you. Don't ever rely on a woman for self confidence - its something a man has to work on himself. Women can be very supportive and that should been seen as a bonus - not as a necessity.

[@xMckingwill]

1:30 I hink its more like we men let women get away with that. We need to hold them to a higher standard sitting around doing "nothing" and expect to be given everything shouldn't be unacceptable. (But maybe I'm an idiot) Great how you expanded the benefit of this for both genders Great video!!

[@shomba14]

Amazing as always! Thank you!

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

I worked for decades on myself and I managed to develop to the point where I am almost exactly the man I want to be. Grounded, successful, fit, healthy, educated, kind, masculine, and experienced in countless things. Yet, I am still not attracting any women into my life. How many dates I got in the past 10 years? Zero.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Chuck and Lol, have you EVER been out in public? That's the thing I feel so confused by... The world is insanely full of unattractive men... and speaking of height. 50% of the male population is below average height... And yet you walk in public, and you see married men of all looks all over the place. You gotta stop blaming your own shortcomings on women to make yourselves feel better.

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

@lolroflkartoffel123 Actually, women always were attracted to me (nowadays less so with me getting old). But because they were always married, nothing developed and I stayed single.

[@SandTguy]

Working on yourself is BS. It will not get you women. I have been working on my self for decades and decades. It did shit for me if anything it made me worse not better. I am sick of hearing all you have to do is work on your self and the women will come what BS.

[@doofosos9951]

I resonated so incredibly much with everything said in this video. I just think its so sound and feet on the ground on the topic, something we should all somehow know deep inside, but maybe never thought of explicitly, and need to be reminded. Thanks a lot

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

You're welcome mate!

[@kanavkenth506]

Your best video in terms of summing up how you evolved and what the attitude should be ( scale up your true self rather than fronting)- thanks for sharing :)

[@vortigern23]

Truly great video Damien!

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Thank you :)

[@dean6046]

Thank you bro! You're the man..

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Cheers Tom!

[@larutmrs3313]

This video is awesome!!! I have been working on myself for the past few years and it really changed my life, I used to be really shy, I had very low self esteem, and I was depressed, primarily because of the way that I looked at myself, then I started reading psychology and I learned a lot about self esteem, and now my life is much better, I can look at myself and love how I look, I am still far from being where I want, I still struggle to talk to new people, specially women, but I am going to volunteer to an NGO (acnur) so I will have to talk to many random people asking for donations, and I will face a lot of rejection, then from that point I can start to flirt with some girls. I am definitely sharing this video with my friends. PS: peanut is so cute. PS2:I know that you like psychology a lot, if you want to know what the exact mental processes behind self esteem are, so you can teach you student better, I recommend you reading “Self esteem: a proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, im proving, and maintaining your self esteem” Its the book that changed my life, I know that you often tell you student to work on themselves, but what does that exactly mean? How can they improve their self esteem? Well this book explains it all. By the way, I find every video of yours to be so insightful... I love having discovered you, I learned many great things thanks to you.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Thank you so much for the kind words Larut, and I'll definitely check out that book!

[@martintheguitarist]

Great video, Damien. Same thing happened to me. "Why do all women behave this way to me?" - Because you haven't worked on yourself, your self esteem and your values and therefore you are willing to tolerate that behaviour. Water seeks its own level.

[@highwaychild2387]

Boom!!

[@tusharroy6712]

Most of getting more women in your life is about improving yourself That self-development will improve your life in every conceivable way, not just getting women. The less work a woman has done on herself, the worse her relationships will be - higher quality women get higher quality men Why would women be attracted to you? Are you super hot or super wealthy? Most men aren't but still get women. Some men will think that, by talking to a girl, she should automatically be attracted to you - hearing it out loud, we can tell this is ridiculous - women don't owe you anything but sometimes we fall into this and don't consider why they didn't like you (and don't forget to account for taste) You can think about the traits that women find attractive But a better mindset is to consider this: how close are you to your ideal self? If you could identify and deal with of all of your insecurities and fears, and overcome your past trauma, and become passionate and excited about your life and things you do on a daily basis, and you make decisions based on your values rather than what others think, and you know what you want and you go for it - that man will be attractive to women. But not all women! You will become incredibly attractive to women who are well-matched to you, your personality and your interests/values. You can never be attractive to all women. We attract ourselves - if you want high-value women, you need to become a high-value man.

[@sergeych92]

No, I feel like by working on myself nothing has changed other than I've got more money and better living conditions. I think working directly on women skills - daygame, online game and so on will produce substantially more results.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

To be fair though, that doesn't prove me wrong... You say you've worked on yourself but lots of guys get this bit 'wrong'.. in the sense that they say they've worked on themselves, but htey've worked on the wrong things.. They've focussed on health/motivation/drive/money/work/career - and all those things are great! But also, you have the deeper psychological stuff, your attachment styles, your relationship to your sexuality and your dark masculinity, all this kind of stuff.... If you had worked on that stuff too, I doubt you'd still have no results with women. But also, I never said that you should never specifically work on pickup skills - just that you should focus on yourself first. Then the other stuff will follow much more easily when you work on it.

[@ashleyn1979]

First heard about self dev thru RSD. So took me a few years. Make 6 figures in a good IT job, put on 20 kg from high school thru lots of gym. Hasnt really got me much more women. In fact I feel as Ive gotten older its become harder. Possibly cos my looks are fading? Noooo idea! I do wonder if there are some guys who are low SMV by default and just wont get above average girls in a night environment cos they have so much choice?!

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Okay - RSD isn't a good example - self-development to me isn't' so much about your external stuff - going to gym/ lots of money - self-development is more the internal stuff. Perfect example... When I was 30, I was going to gym 6 days a week, I was living in a mind-blowing apartment, drove a fancy car. Then I got REALLY sick, lost my physique - downsized for a bit, sold the car. And once I was going out again it was.... the same... My ability to attract women hadn't really changed. Getting in shape, making money can give you confidence and that's attractive to women, some women will LOVE the money and the CAr, and that's the women you don't want anyway if that's what lured them. But mostly I'm talking about really looking internally and dealing with your stuff. If you're hoping that external trappings makes you higher value man - in my mind you'll be sorely disappointed with the results.

[@larutmrs3313]

SchoolOfAttraction Exactly! 👌

[@ashleyn1979]

@@SchoolOfAttraction looking internally and dealing with what stuff? Are you meaning core confidence, charisma etc?

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

No not really - Because I don't believe Confidence is a real thing... I believe it's what remains when you are a well put together person. Like... Darkness doesn't exist, it's just an absence of light. I'm talking about dealing with your past traumas, letting go of limiting beliefs, learning to become emotionally intelligent, Being great at setting personal boundaries, learning to manage rejection and ask for what you want, learning to self-motivate, learning to discover internally driven self-esteem rather than externally driven self-esteem. learning to self-sooth during emotional down-times. the list goes on.

[@yodadback]

I will say this. If you are in your early 20s or late teens. Your path can be completely different in 10 years. Going to University makes you more attractive to University girls because everyone is on the same path of learning and having fun. When you get into your career and goals you start to attract women that have the same wave length as you at that time but not the same person you were in your late adolescent years. Possibly more driven and career based women. It's okay to meet women when you have not fully discovered yourself because they probably haven't either at a young age. I'm just focused on finishing school and if I meet someone that I like on the same wavelength as me then that's great.

[@fabianbianan]

The problem is that most women don't actually work on themself cuz they don't think they need to. And in the end their best friend tells them that it was the guy's fault and not hers that the relationship failed. I am not saying that all women are like this, but it's pretty much what you could consider as "standard" nowadays and it makes me kinda sad. Not gonna lie though, a lot of men tend to just go with the "fuckboy" attitude and it makes the whole situation even worse.

[@sayhey4505]

How do you work on yourself?

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

well.. I read about a book a week - I attend men's groups - I will see therapists from time to time to work through certain issues - I've been to a large variety of self development courses-meetings - Heck, I lived in UBUD - Bali for 12 months...

[@matthijsvanemous7046]

Could you grow out your beard btw? Im very curious as to how it will look

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

I'm slowly growing it out - Keeping it at the same length for a few weeks, then increasing the length etc. So it stays looking neat and tidy along the way.

[@matthijsvanemous7046]

@@SchoolOfAttraction I will folow the progress

[@MikiMaki76]

sorry but I honestly think it doesn't make sense. a man is not supposed to like what women like. and not all women have the same taste. of course a man should try to improve himself physically and mentally, but not to the point that he deem himself not worthy, because this is one of the biggest issue men have today. men will never understand why some women are into them and others aren't. women value things very differently, and it is pointless to try to be likable and worthy for that very reason.

[@Bob-fz7pd]

Your making yourself a target for women looking for the bigger better deal. Capture one of these at your own peril.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Bob, why shouldn't a woman who has a lot to offer, seek a man who has a lot to offer? That doesn't mean she's constantly looking for something better.

[@Bob-fz7pd]

@@SchoolOfAttraction I didn't say women with something to offer or suggest that. I was referring to the not so insignificant number of women who are in a constant state of what some call monkey branching ie women who are perpetually on the auction block. When a man tunes himself up to that degree he risks becoming a coveted target for the ambitious, a stepping stone. Rather then putting on a slick display in a bid to attract a high mileage 8, 9 or 10 with unrealistic expectations I settled for innocence, pleasent features and a kind heart that thinks I'm swell on my not best day. Thirty + years and counting, a solid family to rely on and zero regrets. But who knows maybe you'll do better.

[@stefanswiss3760]

I used to respect you bro... But come on, Ben Affleck? Batflek the worst batman ever? Worse than nipple batman and shumasher delirium? It makes me question your all expertise on everything ^^ No just joking, thx for the video, I still think Batflek was a great thing but we can each have our opinion. :)

[@matthijsvanemous7046]

why shouldnt she?

[@xMckingwill]

And there your problem humble your self you ain't perfect and neither is she.

[@matthijsvanemous7046]

@@xMckingwill Im humble enough....I just like to reverse questions.

[@tubularbill]

This has nothing to do with dating women.

[@Straga_Severa]

Sorry, but the first point of this video is self-delusion. I can try to convince me that I'm not self-developing to get women, but it will be a lie like saying that I drink water not because I'm thirsty. If I'm dying from thirst, this is a reason why I'm pouring the water from the bottle to the mouth.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Then THAT's the very first thing you need to work on... Because if women are more important than you are, if you can't be happy without women, then you're always going to be desperate and try too hard, and hold on too hard....

[@Straga_Severa]

@@SchoolOfAttraction I agree. You should not try to convince yourself that you are not thirsty, you should go to the doctor and find why do you need much more water than the average human. =-)

[@ssstugatz]

What's with the dinner music Chief? Try another topic... Your dancing around the obvious... Nothing new here.