Being Stealth in School | FTM

[@noodleimanoodle8010]

I’m not out yet but I’m already going stealth? I look like a guy and people think I’m cis even though I have A VERY FEMININE BIRTHNAME, people thought it was weird that I was with the girls for gym but nobody cared (I go to the gender neutral bathroom to change) I honestly don’t know how I’m even going stealth-

[@recordsturn9011]

I’m stealth at school and in sports and it’s pretty chill. I have to be very cautious to make sure people don’t try to ball tap me or feel my chest but other than that it’s fine. In sports doing exercises in my binder can be tough since I have asthma so I wear underworks at school and gc2b at sports. I have to work twice as hard as the other guys but I’m still one of the top guys in my sport so if you’re thinking about doing sports know that it’ll be tough and you’ll have to work a lot harder than everyone else but it’s possible!! I’m fully stealth so if anyone has questions about it because of curiosity or because you are thinking of being stealth yourself feel free to ask

[@asher5690]

Hey dude so I was wondering, how did you let the school know that you were trans? And are you allowed to use the boys restroom? And do they have your preferred name on the attendance sheets?

[@callmekoah6955]

did you have to take T to start ?

[@alexistes171]

How did you solve the locker room problem?

[@recordsturn9011]

@@asher5690 I never really let the school know. I do have my name on all of my paper work and everything but it’s not listed as preferred it’s just listed as my name. I got around this by pointing out how they have to have my name in the system as my “preferred name” bc it could be dangerous for me if they don’t. If your parent is supportive you should be able to argue for it but you gotta be adamant. I do use the mens restroom since I’m stealth it would be weird for me to be in the womens one. It is scary af but I just make sure to check if it’s empty or be as casual as possible

[@recordsturn9011]

@@asher5690 the school does technically know I’m trans (since we had to argue with them) but they don’t know I’m trans in my team because when I gave my physical the lady signed me as M. I went to a Walgreens same day clinic so the lady wouldn’t know I’m afab. I could get into trouble if my team even found out but it’s been 2 years so far and they haven’t so 🤷‍♂️. I try not to think about it

[@beautifulbabygirl9126]

I'm finally able to be stealth in my daily life and fully stealth at work I am one year and 2.5 months on T and 2 months post top surgery Great vid btw!

[@mattisus6712]

hope its going well of you man, being stealth can be amazing but also stressful

[@subscriberswithnovideos-ql3cc]

You sit down and think... No one will support me and stuff. But in reality they usually don't mind.

[@zo4422]

thx mate

[@NoahHella]

I’m glad your school and friends was so chill about everything :)

[@mattisus6712]

Same bro, couldn't have asked for a better outcome

[@blvrstrange780]

im quite stealth tho my class knows im a "woman" tho im not, so whenever i go to the bathrooms and go into the woman's bathroom it's so embarrassing if other people from the school see me going to the girls bathroom when i look like a boy

[@Meow-iz1jy]

For all the people that are stealth just make sure that you tell your romantic partner you are trans before you begin dating

[@myrkflinn4331]

I had mixed PE class (boys and girls) in the latest highschool luckily in some way but when I told teachers I was trans, they just didnt acknowledge it.... they kept deadnaming me and telling me I should stop whining and just wear the uniform (the tight t shirt I had , size too small by accident) and such and wasnt or barely allowed to change in a toilet alone for some stupid reason. I always hated it.... HATEDIT!

[@shyboywithnolife2781]

The excuse I use for changing rooms is not using it because it smells bad

[@mergesviz]

THANK YOU KZbin RECOMMENDATIONS, YOU DID SOMETHING CORRECTLY! Great video dude, it really helps. I’m in 8th grade (that would be the end of primary school for us Americans, though we just call it Middle School), so I’ll be going into High School soon. I’ve socially transition ed, though I’m pre everything. People tell me I pass, so I do plan on going stealth as much as I can. Thanks for the tips!

[@mattisus6712]

So glad to help dude, and best of luck with school!!

[@3ll3llyyy]

hows it going? im doing the same thing

[@mergesviz]

@@3ll3llyyy hot damn is this an old comment, lol. It’s going great! Mostly I just need to keep my chin up and learn to roll with the punches. I’m a Junior. My god.... how did this happen. Anyhow, best of luck to y’a!

[@remieljames4226]

im going to a new school this August and so i looked up different ftm "stealth stories" ahah..im going into year 11 (junior year in America) and im finally gonna be able to be myself. just hope that everything goes well lol. thank you for making this video, Matt!❤️

[@-.-u.uwe.o]

Remiel Hillian bro i’m literally in the same boat i’m about 4 months on T and imma be at a new school it’s really scary but i’m excited to finally not be seen as trans

[@remieljames4226]

@@-.-u.uwe.o UGH i feel u! hope everything goes well for ya, dude.

[@tobe3940]

Australia is doing two things very right one being teaching all kids how to swim and two that accent! Can't ever get enough of of that accent! lol

[@TwitchyMoth]

I wish I could go stealth when I end school :(

[@ThumbToeShow]

That's awesome that you got to transition and be stealth! When did you get to start testosterone?!

[@mattisus6712]

yeah it was pretty cool. i was 15 and a half when i started T

[@spacecowboy2285]

mattisus hey same here, except I'm not stealth :(

[@woylies]

mattisus what state are you from?? in WA people either have to wait until they’re over 18 or spend years in the public health system

[@kryldon8146]

coreyote I live in WA and I got to start testosterone at 15 😅

[@woylies]

kryldon oh! lol

[@colerpizza]

Damn I wish I could do that I knew i was trans in primary but never told anyone I didn't even get my hair cut till march of S1 or any of that. My mum thinks I'm nb bc I said that it wasn't a trend/phase but I'm not. I even recently moved school like 2 weeks into S2 but still haven't told my mum so everyone already knows me as X not Finn 😭

[@PHlophe]

I am sooo feeling this souldful background music , its some solid vintage and its gooood.i hope you listen to Jdilla.

[@jaelynscott2447]

Thank you! Much love from Boston! ❤❤❤💯

[@jesuitvampirewhoreoncrack7539]

How do you deal with relationships? If a girl at your school was showing an interest in you would you tell them or just not say anything and go along with it?

[@mattisus6712]

i would tell them pretty early on

[@jesuitvampirewhoreoncrack7539]

mattisus what if they told other people though? Couldn't that's out you??

[@TumbleBell]

I’m going to a new school, where I know no one. I see this as the perfect opportunity to go stealth

[@jazzyboy3363]

I want to go stealth but it’s impossible for me.. Over the summer I cut my hair and got a binder but I’m not allowed to do T.. my name changed and pronouns I even dyed my hair, but... my voice still sounds like a girl even when I try to change it... but luckily with covid and mask when you just see my eyes you can’t tell as much...

[@adamcoxhead2129]

im 12 and ftm, my doctor said i can have top surgery but my family and i dont think im old enough to make that decision, my chest dysphoria is really bad and the doctor told my mum binders are really bad for you so now im not allowed one :( i dont know what to do because after the pandemic i will be going back to school as a year 9 and presenting as male but i cant hide my chest with out school uniform, do you have any advice?

[@mattisus6712]

Hey man, I can understand why you're parents are hesitant as 12 is really young for any type of surgery. I got top surgery at 16 and my surgeon explained to me that operating on someone younger than that could have complications and your chest may even grow back (you don't want that!!) So just understand that there may be reasons for waiting just a little bit... But i know how frustrating it is waiting for something you know you need. Binders aren't that bad for you if you bind properly and not for too long. I would find some videos about binding safely that you could show your parents to try and convince them to let you have one. If not, there are heaps of other ways to hide your chest such as tight sports bras, swimming costumes. I even used a super tight singlet at one point. Hope that helps a bit and just hang in there bro it will come!!

[@adamcoxhead2129]

@@mattisus6712 thank you so much this really helped me :)

[@atsuvii5659]

i know i won’t be stealth (unless i move school) and it really upsets me. because i can’t transition or anything and it really upsets me.

[@strawberry._.9712]

Me too :"((

[@Ainator_]

Isn't that so stressful? Like worrying about what if they find out?

[@radioseal37]

its horribly stressful, especially when dealing with substitutes that use your birth name or being in gym/sports. ive been dealing with it for years now, but it's been a benefit for my family to be military bc they always moved around the time they found out. thats usually not th case for most people though, all the moving.

[@eternitae0_035]

It is, but to me it’s a lot better than people knowing I’m trans

[@imfizz2775]

It’s stressful but yea it’s better

[@ventilatorkinn]

u gave me the idea to just start being myself and slowly transition in like those three years that i have before uni so that i can be myself in uni and yeah….. im turning 18 next year and like maybe itll go better and uknwefjndjnfwejn idk im so socially anxious and this since i accepted my trans identity the disphoria got worse and hearing deadname or she/her makes me want to scream

[@eridanampora3359]

what do you tell kids that ask why you change in the bathroom?

[@fictionalreality3238]

That wouldn’t work for me because of where I live and I would have to move schools. Plus I’m pre t so... I’m not allowed to use the men’s bathroom *cries*

[@Astonvilla113]

Were you not allowed blockers if you knew you were trans in primary school? Like what's it like going through the wrong puberty when you already know you're trans before hand? Idk how I would do that!

[@noahtheys8298]

This is a late comment. But i knew i was trans from a really young age but was too afraid to tell anyone. But i basically completely looked like a boy and acted like one (because I felt like I was a boy on the inside) . But then ofcourse puberty came. It was a shock to me, I've seen my older sister go to puberty but I always thought that just wouldn't happen to me. I thought I would just have puberty like all the other boys. But puberty happened and every day I started hating myself and my body more. I became reallly insecure and my grades at school dropped, I started to hate all kinds of sport (because when you do sports, you will be able to see if you have chest). Eventually I started to wear baggy clothing and walked with my chest in as much as I could. It came to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore and I started writing a coming out letter for my mom, this took my 2 months... (I was almost 15) i came out to her, everything went great but I was still to afraid to come out to anyone else. So I suffored for one more year and then I finally got the courage to ask my mom for a binder, which helped a lot to lighten my dysphoria. And then one and a half year later (17 years old) I finally came out to everyone: school, family, friends... Everything went really well, I haven't had one single bad reaction even though a lot of people at my school are rather conservative and there is not a single lgbtq+ (that is out) in my entire school. Now I'm 3 months later , almost 18 and hoping to start T in about 6 months. Going to the wrong puberty was terrible, I became a sad and insecure version of myself because I knew exactly why I didn't want it but it didn't stop even though how many times I went to sleep wishing I would wake up as a boy. I feel like I missed out on lot of things in those years between 13 and 16, just because I felt so inconfortable within my own skin. And now I still have a lot of dysphoria because I haven't been able to go through the right puberty yet. But I'm geeting there.. it's just the waiting that is so hard. Sorry for this long comment haha, hope you weren't too bored. Have a nice day if you read this far!

[@tealrose3248]

Noah Theys what the world needs is a 100% safe puberty blocker for all afab girls. Because realistically, no cis girl needs to be dealing with female puberty while she's doing secondary school either.

[@tobiaseliot4716]

@@tealrose3248 I mean, puberty blockers now are about 99% safe. There have been a few studies about them affecting things like bone density and calcium levels and whatnot, but overall, they're safe and reversible.

[@yoshima920]

And how do you set up talking to the teachers🤔?

[@3ll3llyyy]

notes/emails help lots

[@theincarnationofboredom207]

If only I could be stealth nonbinary lol, but that's almost impossible.

[@bsrfuchs55]

does this actually work if you don't move to another town? or did you live in a big city? i mean otherwise everybody knows you or other parents know your parents

[@tobe3940]

Then you're just gonna have to be confident and not giving anyone any openings for them to be mean about it.

[@jesuitvampirewhoreoncrack7539]

"I'm not ashamed of being trans but I didn't wanna be known as the trans kid"?? Also what does "passing" mean??

[@mattisus6712]

basically a lot of the time if you are out as trans people know you just because you are trans. i didn't want that to be the case. and passing means to be perceived and identified as your preferred gender by the public.

[@yoshima920]

How do you do this if your mum dosent support?

[@tealrose3248]

Yoshi ma then you're stuck with waiting until you own your own life. Which is hell while you wait, but you do know that this time will pass and eventually you'll get to live your life as the person you are inside. Stay strong.

[@ZanderFoster]

transgendered isn't a word

[@ihaveaprofilepicturebutitw3527]

Zander Foster yeah it's not,an action!

[@MyWifesBigBalls]

Adjective, actually.

[@hallwnby]

What’s a rashy?

[@mattisus6712]

its like a shirt that you swim in that dries super quick and doesn't get heavy like a t-shirt does in water

[@staticllamas3423]

I wanna move to indro so I can be stealth but I don’t want to leave my friends at my current school ;-;

[@lxwingedwolfxl34]

less mumbling plz

[@frankieforest3635]

Have you ever heard of an Australian accent?