Bert Kreischer 2.0 (2 Bears 1 Cave, The Machine) on TYSO -

Bert takes his shoes off for the second time as the boys discuss rug commercials and other stuff.
New TYSO Card featuring Bert Kreischer. Get them at www.tysocards.com.
RICK GLASSMAN
www.rickglassman.com
/ takeyourshoesoff
/ rickglassman
/ discord
BERT KREISCHER
bertbertbert.com
/ bertkreischer
Directed by: Rick Glassman
Edited by: JonMichael Pereira
Sound Mixing: George Krikes
Animation: / tombates.films

[@Fokadox]

this podcast is getting progressively worse and worse with each passing episode. rick has slowly become a paranoid, neurotic, narcissistic, combative, controlling, arrogant person all of which are wildly unfunny qualities. he also has maybe the lowest self awareness of any comedian I've ever seen. the only recent bright spot I cant think of was the lisa gilroy episode, even the lastest adam ray ep which are usually gold had me feeling like adam was doing all the heavy lifting. go back and watch something like the balcony series and note the difference between rick then and rick now, it's literally night and day. i don't know how much longer i can keep watching these as long as rick continues on this path, even as a guest he's fallen off, that recent we might be drunk episode was literally unwatchable.

[@rickglassman]

Can I hire you to write my bio?

[@HiMyNameIsTeah]

i thoroughly enjoyed this episode along w his other recent ones and they continue to make me laugh even through convos that are more serious, saying hes "falling off" is crazy lol

[@StoneyPrimate]

This can’t hurt him more than Lebron did. Nice try buddy.

[@ryanclark9055]

@@rickglassman ”And you know me, paranoid, neurotic, narcissistic, combative, controlling…”

[@Kevtron9000]

@@rickglassmanthis dude is projecting. Your pod is getting better every episode. Your confidence is growing and you’re becoming a stronger interviewer.

[@saharvacnich1993]

Rick is the only comedian in podcast history to get Bert to actually wait and listen 🤣

[@WickedSpade]

I feel like Rick is the only one to tame Bert while still being silly and serious and letting him talk but also getting plenty of words in himself. Amazing job. Amazing Pod.

[@dani4ever]

Rick realized he was dealing with a dog basically.

[@danielstirling1140]

You should watch Pete Holmes “you made it weird” podcast with Bert. Pete does very well too with keeping Bert present.

[@derekjones5023]

Rick: I’m great at analogies All of his guests: I don’t agree with your analogy

[@Jarxia]

Let me finish the analogy or get the fuck out of my house

[@marctaylor1142]

They're great analogies! Bert's was not 😂

[@albrhyno3398]

He’s like the Michael Jordan of basketball

[@rockynorton]

shit, i just got this, he was bigging himself up at basketball @@albrhyno3398

[@collineisch8518]

lol too true.

[@joef1299]

Bert’s face while trying to keep up with understanding Ricks rapid pace circular logic and analogies is great.

[@natestrawn3702]

Bahahahah😂

[@jonnyhollywood514]

Hes too dumb to everrrr keep up with rick lol

[@nate6795]

It’s not rapid pace it’s just random, interruption, and not that funny if at all.

[@jazzupthattriad1257]

It seems you have no idea of what ”circular logic” means. Try to hang in there, buddy

[@eggspitzer]

Women: I wish men were better communicators Rick: Hold my blanketed statement

[@cavemanvi]

*blanketed statement falls off chair*

[@CaptainKirk007]

(Guest freaking out that the blanket fell)

[@anklebreaker9044]

I love this comment.

[@f_i_z]

seriously, I feel like I just went through a month of therapy learning skills ... while being entertained AF.

[@dbrano74]

I love Bert on TYSO! Rick doesn’t let him take control or interrupt nearly as much as Bert does when he’s on every other podcast. I’m going to start calling Rick “The Bert Whisperer”

[@anklebreaker9044]

Bert seems to have also gotten better at communicating. I think he is really tallented and funny. I do like seeing him being genuine as well, I believe that's a nice way of what you are saying lol.

[@candicesanchez3753]

I LOVE Bert for this episode! I can see how he is listening to what Rick is saying to him, processing it and responding and I feel like he’s growing because of this conversation. Rick, you are so good at that. Very introspective, and and you understand so much about human behaviors for someone who used to not be aware of how other people felt about you in the past. I’ve gotta say I will be a follower for life! ❤

[@rubbelkdiekatz]

I don't get how u can dislike when somebody is genuine and honest, just like Bert was on this episode and the last time has was on. Sure u might be annoyed by his persona, style etc. but here he had a nice synergy and was playing with Rick (unlike some other guests)

[@Jack-ot1zq]

Bert claiming he’s healthier than the avg American 😂😂😂

[@Qody1776]

@@Jack-ot1zqthe average American isn’t healthy right now my friend. “While U.S. obesity rates have, overall, stayed steady since 2003, they have more than *DOUBLED* since 1980.” “Roughly two out of three U.S. adults are overweight or obese (69 percent) and one out of three are obese (36 percent)” From a Harvard study. I’d link it here but my comment would probably get deleted. If you don’t believe me, copy and paste that part of my message and google it and the study will come up.

[@Qody1776]

@@Jack-ot1zqBert is definitely riding the line when it comes to being “obese” but he does have a lot of muscle mass unlike these truly fat people that I see everyday at my job lmao. BMI is based on your Body Mass Index which is height to weight. If a bodybuilder who was 6’0” like Bert is, the BMI machine would say the bodybuilder is obese because he has more muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. He just needs to quit drinking and he will definitely be healthier than the average American.

[@harrymothowl8923]

I like Bert but when he’s drinking he cuts people off and then starts talking about himself. He’s well intentioned just compulsive.I think that’s y I like his cooking show the best he just straight up interviews because he’s also focused on the cooking.

[@jammydodgerthefirst]

​@@Qody1776 if he quit drinking he would drop 30-40 lbs probably

[@richkrupansky1339]

That was honestly the best podcast I have seen with Bert. He was finally being real and for the most part, paying attention

[@cavemanvi]

I can’t help but recognize his motivations for saying stuff. Clearing up he didn’t have a stroke felt indirect and manipulative Aaron rodgers on the podcast just felt like him indirectly asking

[@Ryan-th9zm]

Dude I usually hate Bert on 2 bears when he’s with a guest cause he won’t stfu. But this was amazing, Rick really knows how to control him

[@ThePodBoss69]

I honestly think its cause hes off alcohol, never seen him this present and mentally sharp tbh

[@nickeltit]

Just the intro....fucking perfect. Only Rick would know that Bert would react like that to jingling keys. Genius.

[@Eleks_]

ricks the only person who can get me to sit through 2 hours of bert

[@brigettewalker9712]

Rick is the only person who can get BERT to sit thru 2 hours of Bert. He handled him like an Undercover Alpha. I LOVE that he refused to allow the CONSTANT rude interjections that Bert and Whitney Cummings have a ridiculous problem with controlling.

[@smmurphyy]

That laugh at the keys 😂

[@jnahenderson6223]

Seen the Marshall commercial 100 times and never thought of it during the Machine scene.

[@rickfoster1688]

This was a honestly a therapy session for myself and communication

[@mikechecks5994]

I love how Rick didn’t let Brent interrupt him every sentence like he usually does. What a boss!

[@wiseoracle]

I think it's because Rick talks to him in a way that makes him think and needs to digest a high level of conversation. Or he doesn't have to be "Bert" personality that people are used to seeing with Rick.

[@andrewt013]

tom sucks

[@tokyosandblaster4623]

Well he's always more comfortable doing his own podcast and sober bert is hardly bert anyways. The Todd Barry episode speaks more about Rick IMO

[@fiery94]

lol you got Bert so good with the take your shirt off joke. Thats why I like your comedy style. you say the jokes with a straight face and you confuse the heck out of us and i cant stop laughing

[@repent_0ne]

I love Bert when he keeps it real.

[@Whateverdudeee]

Which is rare Cus he's a pathological liar

[@4IndieForever]

So you don't love Bert?

[@repent_0ne]

@@4IndieForever no I don't love Bert

[@4IndieForever]

haha i figured :P@@repent_0ne

[@DannyDeVitois79]

@@4IndieForever…. ✅

[@Fartalittle]

It was really helpful hearing this conversation. Communication and transparency, especially between friends, is key!!

[@k9champ202]

what is that a balloon? You know Bert hates balloons 😂

[@TarotReaderASMR]

and then ironically he sounds like one

[@austinohlrich9370]

He calls him out immediately lol

[@k9champ202]

Right over Bert’s head

[@scottrussell4942]

Nice catch

[@H3H3HEE]

And he sounds like one too

[@jujubean1185]

Rick handled Bret's interjections like a SUPERHERO!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

[@rickfoster1688]

Yeah I think toms the only other person I've seen get Bert to stop and listen for a sec like that

[@davidinger]

Thanks! Love both Bert's appearances on TYSO. Showing a different side of himself than the topless standup.

[@Amouroso]

2 hours! Well worth the wait as you figured out the KZbin side of stuff. Thanks Ricky + the editing extraordinaires

[@DanRobards]

I feel like Rick has achieved more in 2h than Bert's therapist has in 20y

[@icu3869]

It’s very likely - PSA: there’s an epidemic of bad therapists for several reasons :1)people seeking therapy are already in confusion/disfunction2) most can’t analyze a therapist’s effectiveness 3) eliminating your problems eliminates the paycheck you provide. This List goes on. IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND HAVE A GUT FEELING that your therapist isn’t helping, they aren’t. Don’t stay longer than 6 months without lots of moments of clarity, ideas, tools, and concepts that you’ve adopted and are helping. If you want to get better you can- with the right help. Make sure that’s what you’re getting.

[@cmen6895]

@@icu3869There absolutely is no help for a giant percentage of hurt people. We dont understand human beings as much as we pretend to. It’s horrifying.

[@chaselepard]

I listened to this already, but had to come back to watch for the facial expressions. I LOVED this conversation. Very healthy and mature. Scoot doo..

[@sassaymama]

Bert DOES know how to let other people talk! 😂

[@gurshu12]

Rick is such a control freak he won't allow Bert to talk over his ticks.

[@jaypers232]

Barely

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

Dan soder is also great at ignoring Bert talking over him and just continues his point

[@DarkDecimus]

Apparently all it takes is to get him stoned....he should smoke weed 24/7 😂😂

[@irollerblade13]

He did say "I haven't drank in a month." to start the episode. It might have something to do with it. And I believe him if you say he let Rick talk more then him. lol

[@RayRaeTV]

You can tell this was a seriously needed episode. I'm glad they did this

[@timothycollier3807]

It's wildly boring listening to comedians talk about this sort of thing for 45 minutes. I get that joke theft is the greatest crime in comedy, but most comedy fans don't really care or tune into a comedy podcast for a loooong conversation about how a fake rug commercial got made. It's ridiculous

[@coreykuehl8519]

Its crazy how often Rick goes off on these intricate, detailed brain dumps on descriptions of feelings, reactions to feelings, expectations, perspectives on expectations, etc. Every time, I'm like, damn, I feel that. It's nice seeing my thought processes being spoken through someone else so eloquently.

[@Democracy_will_prevail]

This version of Brent is so much more likeable! Good job ! Please consider continuing your limited alcohol consumption, its inspiring

[@diddlez2]

yeah nobody on the planet believes he hasnt drank in a month

[@GenericScreenName808]

My money’s on he popped a few xannies and mellowed the f out.

[@Throwawayjim119]

@@diddlez2i mean he’s got Tom as a good influence and proof that being healthy works…plus he obviously seems chiller and even his skin looks better. I’d say he’s probably quit or at least cut way way back

[@Throwawayjim119]

@@GenericScreenName808when i was using Xanax i was *never* this lucid. I doubt it

[@jaredmercer392]

I came for the laugh, left with knowing myself more. The coming part was the best.

[@DeafJackRussell]

“you’re gonna let me finish this analogy or u gonna have to get tf outta my house” 😂

[@RonCadillac]

Rick jingling the keys and Bert laughing like a toddler is perfect 😆

[@rice1129]

I really love these candid conversations

[@emune1111]

I'm glade both of you sat down and talked about this. I see both sides. My personal opinion I see where Bert's anxiety with communication comes from, and I see where ricks emotions about real friendship comes from.. in the end I hope yall come closer and hope you both work on the project, sounds like it could be great.. love how rick is like the therapist for comedians, and I say this in a good way. this was good even for me, and boi are my arms tired..

[@marctaylor1142]

Bert: "I never smoke weed" Bert on every other podcast: "So I lit up a joint. I love a joint."

[@verakoo6187]

He said "smoked" past tense. He is very open about his smoking lol.

[@DannyDeVitois79]

There is nothing that you can count on coming out of this guy….. except “I’ll never stop drinking”

[@MortimerJones99]

He started smoking and eating edibles after be quit drinking this most recent time

[@coltenmoore1983]

Rick hands down gets the best interviews out of people.

[@jaredmercer392]

Barbara Walter's doesn't have shit on Glassman.

[@zachreacts5508]

Agreed! The Todd Barry interview was incredible!

[@cgoose34]

He and Santino are the perfect combo

[@Cpr21134]

Was hoping for a comedic episode but still good and glad to see these two talk it out a little.

[@enriquechido]

Nobody get people off thier BS like Rick. 😂

[@kylegephart7141]

Rick has the best analogies I’ve ever heard. I love hearing him nail one, then the other person goes “that’s a bad analogy”. Just because you can’t comprehend this man’s brilliance, doesn’t make it a bad analogy 😂

[@rickglassman]

Couldn’t agree more. I’m the Michael Jordan of Basketball.

[@Joshshimchick]

the booger on the table is Phenomenal@@rickglassman

[@tn3065]

I thoroughly enjoyed this pod. Nick being able to get bert to act like a normal person instead of a personality is great.

[@Steven-sd2zi]

Nick Classman?

[@deang8910]

Bert n Rick are like the yin and Yang of confrontation. Rick is way too overly confrontational (and not understanding subtle hints), and Bert will never ask a favor and take things as hints that aren’t even hints. I feel like the happy medium is somewhere between the two.

[@NeighborGatsy]

Adam Ray needs a TYSO card. Wolverine 2.0 maybe?

[@FSUBrando]

Just got so excited to finally get this vid alert I said “RICKY’S ON THE LOOSE, BABY!”

[@B.E.C.K.]

10x yak man

[@BuzzedBusby]

10x

[@FSUBrando]

@@B.E.C.K. 10X Bro 😂

[@FSUBrando]

@@BuzzedBusby 10X 1 love 😂

[@aidanburyska3075]

10x shots at Conor in this one

[@st.a.r_]

This different vibe episode is truly admirable for audience observation on open conversations in difficult dynamics❤

[@BIELS1]

This was a great therapy session! Loved it! Hope Bert took something from this.

[@brianlateboston]

Rick is crazy about this commercial thing. His commercial is just like every single one from the 90’s on.

[@macksanderson]

agreed. the cheesy commercial has been done so many times in comedy before: mr. show, detroiters, tim & eric, etc. just because it happened to be carpets is kind of inconsequential. also I have thought for a while rick's idea that the snap-cut is his original bit is kinda crazy. so many tiktok and vine and youtube channels have done that forever. i never saw the snap as a new invention.

[@ericpettyfishing]

For real dude

[@lucidmemory4146]

@@macksanderson100%. using other people’s schtick ironically doesn’t make it your schtick. Or doing it on a podcast instead of another medium doesn’t make it yours either. Vine was all jump-cuts and those people didn’t invent it either. 16-bit graphics were the standard of all gaming for 5 years. Code Monkeys was a series that paid homage and that’s just one example. “Boy are my arms tired” is used in a headline about Mitch Hedberg in Salon magazine back in 2001. It was a reference to the long-standing tradition of the joke. Bert was really playing with kid gloves by not calling him on that. But all comics need to tread lightly as to not draw attention to their own propensity for borrowing material they absorbed as youths. Comedians always act as if “stealing” jokes is some unforgivable offense, but what’s left that hasn’t been referenced, satirized, or observed? Sometimes, it can be blatant. Like, stealing someone’s voice or mannerisms is just plain theft, but parallel thought is real. Especially in this age.

[@lucidmemory4146]

@@robertor3572 nah, Bert was just really nice about it. What was the Schulz thing?

[@PurpleHazeVanNederlands]

​@@robertor3572He knows Schultz wouldn't tolerate this shit and call him out on it

[@jacklacanna9563]

Rick - "You know the drill right?" Bert - "Yep", then proceeds to put his cup on the side table 😂

[@zhdrums3872]

"Buddy, you Better have a Lot of vibrators." Rick Glassman 2023

[@CaptainKirk007]

❤Rick you evolved on this episode. Well done man. Funny as always buddy. “Ya gotta replenish!”

[@chrisscornerx3]

1:04:42 At this moment, Bert was rethinking his sobriety. You can almost see a thought bubble with a cold pint of 🍺

[@patsmith5695]

That’s so funny I saw the same Thing

[@mellen5814]

I love the guests on TYSO that really understand and appreciate how unique and creative Rick’s comedic style is

[@alexbaginski9513]

Great episode. For no script Rick can manage some great conversations that don’t feel forced. Good vibes.

[@circuskeekus3485]

Rick. Love love it every time. Always genuine, always clever. Thank you for the content.

[@Qody1776]

I’d just like to say thank you to Rick for giving Bert these beautiful talks. Not only does it help him, but it helps me too and I’m sure it helps a lot of people watching. Rick will you please be my therapist? You’re genuinely good at it and I’m not kidding at all. I love you Ricky! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! ❤️

[@CobraTateSociety]

RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK!

[@JohnWick-et6ps]

Truuuu! 💯

[@WavesoftheWorld]

Your editing is gold I love it

[@VictorBatista57]

RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK! that’s how you do it buba

[@jennhansonxlove]

So wholesome that Rick knew hanging with Bert would make him feel better 🥰

[@daylonscott]

Can we please have a “therapist Rick” series? It’s fucking gold.

[@joshuaroach1834]

And maybe a Rick the therapist/Dr Phill episode. 😂😂😂

[@hhunstad2011]

The glasses and notebook with it was gold!

[@kharielle3736]

So much yes!!! :)

[@cavemanvi]

He should dress up like dr Phil

[@CaptainKirk007]

@@joshuaroach1834This! 😂❤

[@streetlifeofzackandcody]

I've always sang 'scoot doo da dooby da doo' in the shower for many years and i just want to acknowledge that there are similarities to your intro, and I'm not accusing you or anyone just that I wanted to acknowledge this fact.

[@reinders82]

11:57 Bert: "Are there riddle guys?" 🤣😂🤣

[@DavidBrown-wf3mk]

Damn Rick, you sure hit it, psychologically on the head, for Bert, myself, and I am sure many others

[@toriv30]

What a great odd couple episode, the flow was great and my stomach hurts from laughing at the idea of Bert “I only used to wash in the pool” questioning Rick “OCD” Glassman about the state of the socks lol

[@justinschmidt9231]

What a fantastic episode! Thank you Rick for knowing yourself so much that you can share such in depth and universal issues that each and every one of us deal with. Much love yall. :)

[@mcolewalk]

So...when Rick first started talking, extremely emotionally, about the friend he was "having a time" with, was it Esther? Ive been waiting so long for another time 😂

[@dandurrer2674]

Rick, I have been following Bert for a long time. I have never seen him sit as quietly as he did in minute 48. Respect to both of you for talking it out as men. And let me say..... I am a new fan to you, but I am a loyal one. Find your way to KC. I'm buying tickets.

[@anklebreaker9044]

I think people aren't giving bert or marijuana enough credit for this episode.

[@me123066]

TAKE HIM TO TASK RICKY TICKY TAFFFFFYYYY

[@gavinrush4995]

Great episode Rick, your interview style is unparalleled.

[@erikslagter3231]

i love the short animations! It just gives the podcast another hilarious dimension

[@syphodyas226]

I thought this pod was very awkward.I see that Rick wanted to confront Bert on the pod but I think it should’ve been talked about off the pod. I think it was extremely awkward when they reached the whole carpet commercial topic. It could’ve been dealt with within a couple minutes but it lasted way too long. Love Rick and love Bert but I don’t see Bert coming on the pod again

[@jhandle900]

Just a thought. It would be wild to see Theo Von on the show or vice versa. I'm so interested to see how your personalities would react.

[@abbeyswinburne7416]

I always think this and I legit just can’t even imagine it 🤣 I have no idea how that dynamic would go!

[@BJ-bm3vz]

It’s bound to happen eventually, can’t wait til it does. The other two dream guests for me would be Louis CK and Shane Gillis.

[@rachs5360]

And theo and harland would be fun

[@BJ-bm3vz]

@@rachs5360 could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Harland has been on Tyso before and vice versa. I know for sure Rick has been on his pod

[@codypickell9299]

Squashing a beef used to take 10 minutes. Only these 2 guys would hyperanalyze this much 😂

[@khall187]

Yea, annoying. Boring.

[@Oside3000]

Personalized socks for the guests sounds like a cool idea

[@bbchillen5796]

You should try to get Ludwig on the pod, feel like you guys would vibe and also could get a whole new audience of goblins.

[@TyrellGlen]

Rick the Psychoanalyst, coming in hot. And boy are his arms tired

[@dranamarie]

❤

[@Letsgobills716]

So good. I laughed. I cried. As always, great episode. ❤

[@secretgardenhomestead3251]

Love you guys, we need more honest and open conversations. Thank you so much.

[@NOxSPLOOSHxPLANE]

Ya dropped the bag on Bert's new card should of been a fat thor and called the card "Fully loaded Thor"

[@fisty539]

Hey Rick, I have no friends and I'm 29. You make my day better, thanks

[@bengould2062]

This was a very good conversation. I'm glad this was resolved.

[@luigiramm]

I’m just absolutely dead!! This is the perfect pod for Bert

[@Alex_MTG]

Love this episode! Thanks Rick

[@Alex_MTG]

Seriously out of the park

[@aacegeo]

I can't believe you let that bort bag in your pristine apartment.

[@BarackObamainYourMommaPajama]

@@Steveatetheicecreamit do be like that

[@zhdrums3872]

​@@Steveatetheicecreamthey canceled the have a time podcast? Was just a matter of time

[@Downs-Indroam]

Glad you guys worked things out. Your directness is inspiring to me Rick. I used to be outgoing and have been fighting being very introverted in recent years. Thank you!

[@Thornsworks]

21:12 Holy shit I just spat my tea out all over my desk in laughter, Rick is too good man.

[@blockboyRP]

I could watch this for 6 hours

[@don21129]

This podcast sounds like marriage counselling. And Rick you’re the wife.

[@anklebreaker9044]

Yeah, emotions are so dumb. Fuck that shit. Lets be repressive and annoying.

[@ericpettyfishing]

I thought the whole carpet commercial thing was a bit at first. Lmao

[@thebeastlyharley]

The Czar of Subtleties - I've enjoyed your quirkiness and the way you do humor since I've recently found out about you, Rick!

[@wookwares]

That new card is so amazing

[@sparrowsfish]

This was beautiful

[@Treycordie]

@ 3:35 rick made such an amazing point. not everything is what you see & it's a great outlook to have, that there's so much that we all don't know. love it

[@raycongfs]

Very insightful ep. Great to see. Shout out to both of them for being stand up guys (and stand up comedians lol)

[@SparkySINN]

I wish this was more fun and less about berts anxiety

[@18Callahan]

Everything is ALWAYS about Bert’s anxiety that stems from how soon he can get his next drink.

[@daylonscott]

Damn… Bert let me switch hats with him after a show a few years ago and seemed so dejected. This triggered my “I am not enough” and “I make people feel uncomfortable” anxious thought patterns. Now that I know why he was dejected, I feel guilty for potentially pressuring him into something he’s uncomfortable with unknowingly, and I feel like Bert is the sweetest of sweethearts.

[@FatRalphsBoutique]

Rick should start yet another podcast called 'Overthink King' . i just always wanted to see a pod with that title. Thanks.

[@forgottenwisdoms]

Rick pulling out the glasses and notepad 🤣

[@nickbarney6736]

Rick is the king of explaining his intentions. Something to learn from

[@bishoponeye4223]

we love you Bert, you are in good company.

[@zanesurfs123]

The carpet add timing was so beyond perfect Rick. I salute you

[@FootballChapp]

Rick Glassman is one of the most unique people and comedians I’ve seen in a long time. Would love to have his confidence.