Chris Distefano & I Don’t Cry Over Sweet Treats | Bertcast # 597

[@Ken-NRFI-Jr]

On this episode Burt talks about how awesome Burt is

[@GenX64]

Worst time Bert interrupted his guest said “…. Chris Cornell” but Bert missed it and never went back to guest’s CC story. I was ready to throw remote at TV

[@LiquidDaylight]

Give it a rest

[@markrennie86]

damn, must be a reupload...think I've seen this one before.

[@MrBuketman]

I came here just to find this comment. He’s an annoying selfish frat boy that doesn’t have stage fright. Wow.

[@deaderthendead041]

You're new here huh?😅

[@OliviaRandazzle]

i love how no matter how funny something is but it’s kinda a serious topic, chris will take it so seriously and just will be so genuine like, “yeah you blew up the toilet it’s okay. I understand. “

[@misun808]

Chrissy chaos is in the house again! Chris DiStefano is pure entertainment and naturally hilarious! 😂 Love it!

[@streetdreemz]

I don't know how Chrissy kept a straight face saying "no one's ever looked at Bert and said ,he's fat," 😂😂😂

[@houstonjh]

As someone who was on the USS Lincoln Chris did a phenomenal job and we need more comedians to come through

[@carterhawk4185]

It’s absolutely mind blowing hearing Bert talk about being healthy and moderation and criticizing doctors it’s wild it’s why I watch him

[@JeffD726]

Lololol, it’s wild it’s why I watch him. 🙏 #bertiboysannonimous

[@katdog9786]

Take Milk Thistle... It's good for your liver regenerating.

[@paydn202]

whats even more insane is being one of the biggest comedians out without being funny....true legend

[@hsad5032]

12 years old, drinking and smokin to this on a school night.

[@bluflaam777]

9 years old, drinking and smokin'' to this on a school bus.

[@DrDulittle]

Love Chris and Bert together. So happy Chris has found balance in his life and wish everyone can find the same for themselves. Always happiness and love with these two.

[@gavinrush4995]

Bert could learn a thing or two from Chrissy, or Tom for that matter. However- this is a literal impossibility.

[@Sammiecheeks16]

Crazy that Bert spoke about Matthew perry in friends weeks before him passing

[@Hysterik3o6]

Bert did it.

[@liadown9052]

He pulled a Simpsons.

[@ShroomFactory]

Those powers of sober clarity

[@anduknowdismaan]

I feel like Bert is always 5 days into something.

[@supremebuffalo6322]

And 2 days _away_ from quitting the same thing

[@shrutefarms4741]

Bert’s ability to lie to himself about his drinking and how he is actually a healthy drunk is mind blowing.

[@Maxipad]

Delusional people living the longest

[@chrisfitton1476]

Bert is just the average Australian

[@ShreddexReturn]

Hopefully Bert will end up like Ron White. Drink all through your middle age, have fun, and then in your old age just decide “There’s only so much alcohol one person can drink in the world, and I think I’ve drank mine”

[@ryanduggins1464]

​@@PanamaRedHerringHe isn't an alcoholic tho

[@katlynnmccoy8711]

@@ShreddexReturnthis is the nicest and only way to ever address alcohol!!!!!!

[@def_lepardsux5572]

Shane is 100x the comic you are Bert. You can’t hold a flame to him 😂

[@melaronie3024]

Chris is in my new top 10 comics that I’m enjoying a lot.

the concept of this channel, Lets have a guest on so Bert can talk about himself to feel good

[@samanthab1923]

He never tires from the sound of his own voice. Did he ask Chrissy to do his tour or Cruise?

[@LiquidDaylight]

Thanks for watching then, hey? Dick

[@Js-hu5cm]

It’s so god damn annoying lol

[@deaderthendead041]

Karen's unite! Take the form of.. mega cvnt! 🤖

[@noahevans7141]

idk why everyone hates on Bert. He is just so himself and so expressive and fuckin hilarious like are you not entertained

[@mattmurphy9346]

Distefano is the best. Loved him as a pod guest since the 1st one i ever heard him do

[@GenX64]

One of your best Bert! You guys have great banter and a lot in common. The parts about drinking are inspiring. I’ve been sober from alcohol for 20 years and life can be boring tedious and stressful without self medication, but I love my Mary Jane every day-way more healthy. What’s great is you see most of society rarely drinks excessively, maybe a couple drinks a week and two drunks a year. My high functioning ex bro in law can’t get off the sauce cuz he’s a control freak above going to AA. At our age, 58-59, shit starts breaking down. Keep up the great work taking weeks off drinking. Pretty soon that famous belly will be gone!! The workouts are inspiring for me. Thank you!

[@forrestnutter]

Love holding pods 2 months. Classic

[@guyod1]

Trying to figure out how old this is. At least 2 months

[@forrestnutter]

@@Mark_It_Zer0. yeah but they also referenced smash mouths lead singers death which was only 2 months ago. Bart just isnt up to date on anything so he didn't know they broke up either. 🤣😂🤣

[@Redrum_Redeye]

I’m pissing myself, “what’s gonna kill you ? CAKE “ 😂

[@richs6053]

It took awhile, but it's true. His first Instagram post is of him and Smashmouth crashing a wedding.

[@pillwolak]

Even when Distefano trys to talk about Gillis, Bert seems to always make it about himself

[@Js-hu5cm]

100%

[@imrbrt]

Thank you for your service Bert. All of the time you voluntarily spend shirtless and getting shitfaced has not gone unnoticed. I appreciate you every day for putting yourself in harm's way of them damn hecklers and talking all of that dookie shrapnel on the leg. I will petition every day for you to get a medal of honor for your sacrifices. You are a true American hero and I hope you know that now!

[@jonmorales9703]

Someone should tell Burt about his spray tan lines around his eyes

[@arithecat2991]

Lol you just did. And you know he heard you

[@nicbtw6062]

rockin them gogz

[@dbnathan5]

Why are you worried about what another man looks like? You trying to be a bottom for Bert?

[@jonmorales9703]

@@dbnathan5 no just bottom to your old lady

[@dbnathan5]

@@jonmorales9703 I don’t have an old lady. Maybe come back when you can write a complete sentence gaf.

[@comedycrackhead]

Bert brings up Mathew Perry (chandler) and asks if another guy died lol

[@bchappy7981]

I think its prerecorded... lol

[@comedycrackhead]

@@bchappy7981 haha yea, it’s just insanely coincidental

[@sceratt5313]

Thought the exact same thing

[@JCizzle45]

Brett jinxed him

[@comedycrackhead]

@@JCizzle45 spoke it right into existence

[@troymodin1682]

Such a great down to earth guy. You are lucky to have friends like that.

[@HighriseSuicides]

I rarely listen to Chris Distefano anymore but somehow every time I listen to this dude he’s always talking about fucking fasting and how he’s more focused on family over comedy now. Does this dude talk about anything else holy shit.

[@andycollins7998]

As someone from Hartford, I can say none of us would’ve chosen to be there 😂

[@josemondragon5311]

Chocolate chip muffins with butter whoa that’s on another level! I would’ve never guessed that’s a thing

[@Peter-fv9bj]

'And you're not wearing underwear'. So glad Chris made sure to get that in. Commando in those shorts is wild

[@86sreeves]

I lost it when Burt said that someone screamed in Target knowing he was there 😂😂

[@Js-hu5cm]

I couldn’t believe my ears either

[@kevonneweathers6103]

😂😂 Chris always look like he suppose to be hosting the pod😅😅😂

[@SaintLuisOne]

We all end up in a hospital bed in the future regardless. Enjoy a drink until then.

[@serenitysavage3106]

Goddamn it Bert… your like an uncle I wish I had! You’re the MAN the MYTH the LEGEND! Keep rocking Captain ShitPants!

[@eddo00]

So funny that this ep taught us most people arnt as forthcoming or lie if asked about how many time they've shit there pants!!! Thanks bert for being truthful😅

[@mickeytwomey5850]

Whatever commander decided to tell you to be clean is high. The service members that go to war want the worst of it all, an outlet, reality, what we deal with. I’ll recommend any comic to film a special with a solely military audience and see what happens. Magic.

[@_historicalodyssey]

Great episode! Really enjoy you two together, this episode could’ve been 3 hours on some Joe Rogan shit and I’d still watch 👏🏼🤣

[@JLR489]

I second that!

[@ShroomFactory]

This was just what i needed on a regretful hungover day. Thanks guys!

[@user-wo2sk1qm6m]

Listening to these two talk about poopin I feel like a very hygienic man

[@LiquidDaylight]

😆

[@liadown9052]

I love that Chrissy supports the troops! ❤

[@tonyjohnson4538]

You and Chris should do a podcast Bertyboy. I love when you two share and maybe cry. You both make magic together. Please consider. 😊

[@coreywv2480]

Bert is actually really getting better at interviewing and I feel this episode shows it really great

[@Kvnfrn99]

he makes it about himself all the time, if this is better im afraid to find out how he did before

[@katlynnmccoy8711]

@@Kvnfrn99 y r u watching then

[@Kvnfrn99]

for the guest thats on?@@katlynnmccoy8711

[@zachstone7148]

There goes Bart’s dip he buys to “smell”😂😂

[@user-zn3cf8kr4r]

I had to call out push ups for my platoon in basic. They caught me taking a natures valley granola bar from the mess hall. I felt so bad, but that was hilarious. They all laughed.

[@husamettin_amayandancakar1553]

Paragliding into Thanksgiving. Long live the colonists, Elhamduiallah!!

[@JustNormalGamers]

I love Bert. But it's kinda hard for me to hear him talk about alcoho.l he sounds just like my dad did before he died of liver failure at 38.

[@clamsoup]

I'll be enjoying this. Destefano is good energy.

[@Big_Hank75]

This one’s for the dawgs

[@viceroymarkovitz3561]

This was recorded BEFORE the Kelce-Swift propaganda?? 18:30 ish

[@doctordollaz8852]

Bert: I downloaded 1975 because of you! Chris: Good, do you like their music? Bert: No, I haven't listened to it😂😂😂

[@pleasenophotos]

this is a world class duo right here!! - also bert thank you for having kevin and foley and ms pat on the same boat and making my dreams come true 😭

[@michaelmanns6229]

ONE LOVE TO THE BEST COMEDIANS ❤❤

[@Iquanos]

Of course Bert loves deions theme music haha

[@chucklefizz]

Definitely should have named the episode ‘the black part of heaven’

[@chucklefizz]

@Official_Bert-Kreischer thanks for always making us laugh brother. Congrats on the no drinking to Burt! Super inspiring

[@coleesser1188]

How long until Albert is in a straight jacket?

[@Hysterik3o6]

Joan of Arc was actually 19 when she died, guys.🤓

[@michaelmanns6229]

All the things im happy for is these two legit they dont know what they do for young 26 year old males that are going through hell and just to know bert and chris made there lifes go on one more day thank you two ❤❤❤

[@gavinrush4995]

Chin up dude, it usually just gets harder. Your a man now and if you dig deep you can do what needs to be done. Or not, it’s a choice.

[@elpusegato]

Please, for the love of God, do not mistake clowns for role models

[@ShroomFactory]

@@elpusegatoclowns are sacred in certain cultures, like the heyoka

[@arithecat2991]

Pure German ingenuity this episode. What a racket “Rogan” made lol

[@arithecat2991]

@Official-Bert-Kreischer love you Bertie boy

[@devadasn]

Us pedestrians wouldn’t understand why they cry. A comics mind is so different and special

[@aryah1513]

How about US drivers?

[@littlewigglemonster7691]

​@@aryah1513lol

[@comedyloungeofficial]

nice@@aryah1513

[@ZBirDEveryday]

These two guys literally cry every time they hangout

[@motherfuckerjones7605]

Them comedy brains

[@5Trojin]

9:05 That’s not something to brag about…

[@ElMasPxto11]

How long you been holding this for fat boy?

[@wolfee17]

"everything is poison or medicine it just depends on the dosage" is such an insightful quote from chrissy chaos

[@variaxi935]

WE LOVE JIZZY CHRIZZY D and bart kreasher

[@LiquidDaylight]

Such a good ep ♥

[@shayn4220]

Love you ripping on conneticut. Born and raised lol

[@angusmckean8926]

‘Ghengis Cahn’ - Chrissy D, 2023

[@NazarioMedia]

Bert book a U.S. comedy club tour. Gotta buy tickets at the door only.

[@Cliporis]

So on the cruise another 5 year push and pull period starts. Yet another Bert cycle 😂

[@JoeEcho1429]

Lol decommissioned!!! 😂😂😂 and yes there are people over 50

[@johnnybillz3043]

I get it Bert, my family doesn’t.. I told them I don’t need Heroin… BUT I LOVE IT

[@drgonzo1971]

1:55 - every city in Connecticut is like that

[@HoldenFarha]

Bert is the machine and I’m the cockroach, I could beat him

[@DesireeMalary-qk1bt]

You can definitely do some exercises on a plane. I took a 5hr flight that messed with my sciatica. I told all the flight crew in the back and did stretches for 30min. No one minded as long as I was respectful.

[@deaderthendead041]

"It's peanut butter, its just peanut butter.."☠️

[@leonardorodriguez9919]

How the fawk is Bert a millionaire hes the definition of life not being fair lol

[@renfairegoddess]

Have you tried having a marketable talent and working nonstop for 20 years? 🤔🙄

[@nateclasen]

This was filmed Sep 5th and it’s just now being realeased??? Lmao wtf

[@itsTizzle]

Brought up 3 dead guys in 2 n a half minutes 💀

[@millerandcalloway]

I know you don't read comments aby more. I just finished your movie. We don't know each other personally but I love you. I'm proud of you. I'll always look up to you. You're such a beautiful individual and a great inspiration.

[@aidansedore5182]

Just got 3 tickets for prudential center in NJ for December 8th🎉 better put on a good show it’s for my dads birthday 😂

[@raycimbalnik5159]

Love when Chrissy D is on!

[@JamesWilliams-dz5tn]

i feel like when bertrand “punishes’ himself after a night of heavy drinking. Which seems like most nights, he’s trying to run away from his own mortality….. on a treadmill

[@whootywhoots]

🤣💀😭🤣💀😭 that's me in the corner fing dying when Bert tells the story of him massaging Leann's feet and he shit his pants and on the pillow and yet she still fucked him 😭💀🤣😭💀🤣 I'm so glad I have to office to myself until I get a new office assistant. I was dying for air

[@JustUsSystemInc]

The part about Black ppl is hilarious. I gotta subscribe to both you guys.

[@gab3chamberbass632]

You can only say it if you are it. Keep feathering it brother.

[@mrjordyboy225]

228kgs sounds about right 😂

[@sid5156]

Bert I doubt you'll see this. If you do. Can you please do a quick video on those guitars in the background? I really dig that blue top with the mahogany sides of the electric.

[@jadenkelly4032]

Can’t tell if it was a Ari or Sam Morril impression at 48:30 but boy was Chris spot on

[@capitolc4430]

HAD 2 💩 55 MINS LOL NAILED IT LMFAO

[@Astro_23]

Hilarious to hear talking about shit. Whether it's you, someone you never knew, someone you don't know, someone you will meet, someone you will never meet... it's so human. So real. So funny!!!

[@nick-je4ts]

Did anyone else enjoy Bert's things that definitely never happened story, around 59:00 ?

[@wallstreetbet-x7b]

berts pods are 2 months behind??? shane gillis special came out 9/5

[@workstudy8118]

Love these two

[@ShaktiShelly]

You know the number 1 cause of liver failure? Tylenol, stop popping that shit like its skittles

[@Hysterik3o6]

Shane Gillis’ “Beautiful Dogs” is a pretty good one. But Ari Shaffir’s “Jew” is soooo much funnier.

[@joef1299]

Spicy cut at 52:12 Berty Boy got worried and censored himself 😅😅

[@MREpicIpodApps]

Love that you Chrissy wants to do more military shows!! Fun story, me and my buddy Kai were sitting on a train car at a trainyard smoking the herbal essence and he shit himself BAD from coughing hard. He ended up just leaving the underwear there and wearing the pants home. I still can't unsee the abandoned shit boxers strung over the railroad beam for the next poor rail worker to come across.

[@natalieward5184]

Watching this as my kids are watching Shrek 2 , rip smash mouth

[@MoMo-mu3pp]

The worst part of the shitting himself, poop leg stories, is knowing he takes pool baths 🤢 It was nice to see these two together again, but now Im stuck with things I can't unknow

[@MJ-qh2su]

This episode should be titled: Shitty Legs.

[@JunkBondTrader]

Yes Bert, we all love dopaime.

[@Cody---]

Burts looking great

[@guyod1]

it's months old

[@Arcturuseyes]

Lol, stories about crappin yourself...so good, as humans, we love to hear momentous shit stories.