🤣 BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - A jockey is about to enter a race on a new horse... | Funny Daily Jokes

BEST JOKE OF THE DAY! - A jockey is about to enter a race on a new horse... | Funny Daily Jokes
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👇 THE JOKE 👇
A jockey is about to enter a race on a new horse.
The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says...
"All you have to remember with this horse, is that every time you approach a jump... "
"you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP'! really loudly in the horse's ear."
"As long as you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command...
The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
At first, the jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice, and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump...
So, as they approach the second hurdle, the jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear.
The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump...
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly.
Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems...
This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.
The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me, it's this bloody horse... "
"Is he deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf? He's not deaf... "
"He's blind!"
#Jokes #Humor #Funny #LOLJokes

[@loljokes]

👉 Know a good joke? Share it in the comments!

[@OleGeezerCirca1941]

True story. My Dad and I raced thoroughbreds for about 25 years. Before each race, we had the jockey whisper into the horse's ear, "Roses are red, violets are blue, horses that lose, are turned into glue". 🤣

[@loljokes]

That is some old school rap right there... 🤣

[@gabemiddendorf-vn2zi]

That makes sense

[@gabemiddendorf-vn2zi]

I was taking a peaceful walk through a forest one sunny day. I was so happy until I heard him. The dog. My best friend Mark just bought a rude dog and he is a beast. I turned around and saw him growling and charging towards me. I ran all my might, but tripped on a stick. Then, I saw my friend stand in front of me and told his dog,"Toby! Bad Toby!" He then helped me up. "Thank you." I told him. He said, "No biggie. He just wants cuddles." "But he tried to bite me!" "Quit being dramatic!" Mark told me, "He is just a mcterrier!"

[@glennsmith976]

Fred and Sam were talking. Fred asks Sam, "Hey, what did you do last night?" Sam said, "I went to the bar last night. I was sitting at the bar and some big, tall guy from Texas comes up to me and tells me that I'm sitting in his seat. I told him to get lost. He pushed me off of my seat and I fell on the floor." Fred asked, "What did you do?" Sam said, "Well, I'm no punk! I wasn't going to take that. I got up and took a swing at him." Fred asked, "Where did you hit him?" Sam said, "I missed him. Then he smacked me in the jaw, he hit me in both my eyes, and knocked me back on the floor. He told me, Boy, that's karate!" Fred asked, "Well what did you do?" Sam said, "I got back up, charged at him and swung on him again!" Fred asked, "Where did you hit him this time?" Sam said, "I missed him. Then he punched me in the stomach, and flipped me over the table, and threw me on the floor. Then he said, Boy, that's jiujitsu!" Fred asked, "What did you do then?" Sam said, "I got up and swung on him again." Fred asked, "Did you hit him good?" Sam said, "I missed him. Then he kicked me between the legs, stomped both of my feet, stuck his finger up my nose, and tossed me behind the bar. He told me, Boy, that's Kung Fu!" Fred asked, "Well what happened then!" Sam said, "I got up off the floor, I grabbed a bottle of beer on the bar and smacked that big boy right upside the head. I told the bartender, when he wakes up, tell him, 'THAT' was Budweiser!"

[@lindagates9150]

try an Canadian beer the next time I would like to know if Moosehead could work too.

[@glennsmith976]

@@lindagates9150 I guess it could have been Bud Light!

[@lindagates9150]

@@glennsmith976 I thought of that but would that work and what is your opinion of a pale ale or a 🍺 lager. . The only thing I like about beer is the smell when the brewery has a new batch on the go . It reminds me of bran muffins. My least favourite muffins …oatmeal with brown sugar muffins were my favourite back in the day before I beat my sugar addiction into remission.🤔🤓👍🌺🖖🌺👍👋🧝🏼🤚

[@glennsmith976]

@@lindagates9150 I'm not much of a drinker. Beer is beer to me. I am partial to a pound cake though.

[@lindagates9150]

@@glennsmith976 pound cakes I have made a few using my kitchen scales it’s literally a pound of most of the ingredients do you like the ones with a bit of lemon extract? . I’m of the opinion that anyone who can drink beer and any of the coke drinks is not going to notice if you hand them a glass of hemlock the plant not the tree.

[@lindagates9150]

I think that the horse has other issues .have you ever looked at a horse race the jockey prepares before the jump I would think that that would signal that the jump was coming up . I will ask my sister she know more about horses than I do. She was one of those girls who rode horses and liked to clean out the stalls with a group of like minded girls. Gives me the shivers just thinking about her idea of fun. . Oh I loved the ending I laughed and laughed and laughed again.😮🎉❤🎉❤🎉😊

[@lindagates9150]

@@davidmacphee3549 good to see you smiling. That make me smile too. My Mum liked a tiny glass of wine for her oft infirmities a glass big enough that it would contain enough wine to wet her lips. I am not sure if she expected the fumes to work or not. I have two more sets of eye drops to take so I will bid your a good evening and I wish you a good nights sleep and I wish that you could make a speedy recovery from your oft infirmities 👋🧝🏼🤚🌺💞💓💞🌺🤞✌️😘💓💞💝💞💓🥰

[@lindagates9150]

@@davidmacphee3549 thanks for the reply to my reply I can barely see those drops do a number so I’m going off to bed often I take the one in my hand I will check tomorrow morning to see if there is a reply to my reply to your reply. I really wish I could confirm if I have made Amy spelling mistakes. No need to mention punctuation.😘💞💓💞💝💞💓💞🥰

[@lindagates9150]

@@davidmacphee3549 thanks I think I misspelled Ami oops any , mon ami who is this Amy I don’t know her just like I don’t know that girl Clarity my son talks about when he mentions that I should use punctuation for her sake when I text him. But I do my best to keep her in mind when I write sometimes 🤷🏼‍♀️🤔🤓😇

[@paulsmith5398]

Well, now, there is a saying about the blind leading the deaf, but in this case............."ALLEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOP!

[@garp-cm7te]

Another good one

[@loljokes]

Thanks Eric 😀

[@markshrimpton3138]

That’s the beauty of the internet: thousands of miles away in Scotland my wife and I laughed at your joke.

[@loljokes]

Thanks. I bet you laugh even harder at my "Scottish accents"... 🤣

[@markshrimpton3138]

@@loljokes they’re growing on me. I like the voices you give your characters.

[@seanmacdhuibhne]

@@markshrimpton3138 You mustn't listen to Frankie Boyle!

[@roseogrady8785]

L O L.

[@kimberlycregger7341]

HaHa a good one . I guessed the punchline.lol🐴😅

[@loljokes]

My quiz channel must be sharpening you mind... 🤣

[@kimberlycregger7341]

@@loljokes Glad something is.😅

[@kimberlycregger7341]

@@davidmacphee3549 What the heck? Lol

[@kimberlycregger7341]

@@davidmacphee3549 Poor thing Lol